Wednesday, September 14

Suspicious Minds

'We're caught in a trap...I cant walk out...because I love you too much babehhh...':) I think that Suspecting without a reason is the biggest damage anyone can ever do to any kind of relationship. I have seen so many people falling apart or marring their own happiness by suspecting the other. If there is a real reason to suspect your partner, spouse or friend or whoever it is, then that's called for and you should talk about it. But suspecting someone for no valid reason, such as for petty issues is really not acceptable and I really think it's stupid. Then ofcourse there's no real trust in the relationship and there's no point in the two being together. It's not worth depriving someone else of their freedom, making them feel trapped for your own selfish gain - it's like keeping an ornament in your cabinet just to soothe your senses. One of my friends was continuously mistrusted by her boyfriend and she couldn't handle it any longer, so she finally broke up with him. To be honest she was not wrong, just that he was always insecure. After all, Love is not about suspecting the other or getting jealous for being themselves. If you are restricting your partner that freedom then you are not fit for a relationship, neither would your partner want to be with someone like you, unless he/she is used to being dominated. Imagine your partner innocently joked about with someone from the opposite sex, would you suspect her/him of betraying you? How silly would that be? That kind of possessiveness shouldn't be tolerated. It's easy for me to say this but even I find it difficult at times not to be suspicious. We are human and we have feelings but we need to carefully assess what crossing the boundary really is. If it's jeopardizing your realtionship then that's something to think about but if it's just making you go green then you need to sit back and think. It's really not worth emotionally draining your partner with baseless suspicion. After all, if your partner is really not making you happy then you always have the choice to leave than tiring yourself and your partner with suspicion. People are not objects, we can't make everyone happy and neither can everyone make us happy. You have to let go of possessivness and allow freedom and personal space between you two.

I always believed in the following quote and I always try to stick by it. There's nothing in this world like having a free mind.

~~If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...~~

We do not possess anything in this world, least of all other people. We only imagine that we do. Our friends, our lovers, our spouses, even our children are not ours. They belong only to themselves. Possessive and Controlling friendships and relationships can be as harmful as neglect. It's really is forcefully neglecting your partner's freedom.
So think about it...have you been suspected for no valid reason and how did you feel then? Or have you suspected someone else due to just plain jealousy and made their life hell even for one minute?

110 Cranium Signets:

Justin Thyme said...

Great post Kesh! Personally, I think that when we act suspicious of someone without cause, it's because whether we admit it to ourselves or not, many times it's because we ourselves are capable of the things we suspect in someone else, and think if we are capable of them, then they are as well. Basically, we tend to see in others the things we don't like about ourselves.

Great post - hopefully it won't stir up another monster for you, my friend!

Justin Thyme said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Vivhyd said...

Nice post Keshi.. Insecurity, Possessiveness, Trust all three are dangerously intermingled in a bad love relationship..

While lovers tend to be possessive, how far u cud go with this I guess comes with time and experience.. well.. for youngsters it easily becomes a bad experience.. but if U do use a little bit of head along with the heart.. such bad experiences cud be avoided.. hmm

Diana said...

I love the kittens!

saurav said...

me 4th...

Unknown said...

me 5th phew

Unknown said...

Is this post dedicated to someone specific??

just curious...

I agree with what you said. I, myself am very possesive but I try not to show it coz I do trust her but sometimes it just hurts even tho you know what he/she are doing isn't wrong.

I also agree with what justin said. However, I think everyone has a possesive side in themselves. Some show it while other hide it.

Great post kayshe :)

Tanvi said...

im 6th im 6th..keshi well i agree wit u that we should give each other space...but u noe sometimez u juz cant help it...itz possessiveness? jealousy? but i dun think itz like suspectin the person u noe...itz natural for a human being to be jealous..well i dunoe wut im tryna say here but i think we should give em space and try to be a lil more secure..

Keshi said...

Justin the spam sam got deleted lol so ur officially THE First :)

** many times it's because we ourselves are capable of the things we suspect in someone else,

My mum always says this! She said that dad used to get J of her sometimes and thats becos he was capable of flirting with other women so he suspected my mum when other men talked to her lol! U r so right! I totally agree.


**Basically, we tend to see in others the things we don't like about ourselves

yep self-denial so u blame someone else...vent out ur frustration on the closest one to u and u feel good. Thats what I meant by selfish motives...

Thanks Justin u always bring up a new and deep avenue for discussion in each and every post...I appreciate that.

Keshi.

Justin Thyme said...

Always a pleasure, my friend!

Keshi said...

Hey Vivhyd :)

**for youngsters it easily becomes a bad experience

Spot on! The younger we r the harder it is for us to tolerate our partner's or friend's freedom...cos we dont much understand what it is to let someone else be themselves...we grow with age. But sadly some ppl dun even grow with age...hehehe...


Thanks!
Keshi.

Keshi said...

Diedie WC! yep I luv kittens too...always luv em...baby cutey kitty cats :):)


Avik hey...say something na :)


NV woohoo 5th in a jif ;-)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

NV lol!

**Is this post dedicated to someone specific??

YES YES YES it's dedicated to my ex-BF :) lol na kidding...I just thought of writing it cos I see suspicion everywhere and most of it is baseless...so idiotic. We really have to think b4 we point fingers...dun we...so I wrote this thinking someone will benefit from it some day, if not now...:)


**I, myself am very possesive but I try not to show it

do u hide it or u just dispose of it cos u kno wthat ur suspicion wasnt valid?


**it just hurts even tho you know what he/she are doing isn't wrong

why does it hurt if it's nothing wrong she's doing?


**everyone has a possesive side in themselves

yes I agree...we can be possessive it's alright...but to a limit only...over-possessiveness can drain u and ur partner.


I read this story on the news yday...one guy walked into a dept store and shot the sales girl and then shot himself...later they found out that he was the security guard in that store and this girl had a r'ship with him...he killed her cos she wanted out...why cos apparently he was too possessive...now she didnt have to die did she? He could have killed himself only. But I believe what ruled him was his over-posseissivness which eventually killed them both.

Keshi.

saurav said...

"To suspect a friend is worse than to be deceived by him"

Keshi said...

Hey Tanvi muahhhhhhhhh!

**but i dun think itz like suspectin the person u noe...

why not Tanvi...cos when ur Jealous thats when u suspect someone for no reason...think abt it but do tell me if u think I am wrong :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Avik...

**"To suspect a friend is worse than to be deceived by him"


Thats such a befitting quote here wow thanks! I too think a suspicious mind is the lowest quality in a friendship. It's one thing to have doubts sometimes but totally low to suspect someone for no reason...

Keshi.

Tanvi said...

lol...ur wrong!:p

Keshi said...

lol t000nie bring it on...explain hunny...

k000kie-with-a-beaming-face :)

Tanvi said...

hehee ur wrong cuz i say ur wrong...im not bringin nethin on...ur juz wrong!

(that whole thing kinda rhymes)

Keshi said...

aww t000nie ok then :)

I am so wrong
she's says it strong
Better not make it long
For I love my t000nzz

lol!
k000kz

Tanvi said...

lol:D..ok ill stop floodin now..keshi ur not wrong i juz think itz not suspectin itz juz jealousy...i mean wut if some other person talkz to em .. ur juz jealous of the person lol..ur not suspecting them...suspectin n being jealous is different! lol ok ill shut up

Jim said...

, How the fuck did Justine enter first !,


Suspicion torments my heart
Suspicion keeps us ......

Jim said...

heyyyy Tanvi !

why ru ignoring me?
by the way u put on a lotta weight on the hips and on the chest



ooooooohhhh !
u look gorgeous

Unknown said...

Keshi play the trivia on zillies blog plz plz plzzzzz

http://nyzillestpunjabi.blogspot.com/

Keshi said...

ohh Tanvi u got me wrong lol! I did not say Suspicion is Jealousy...hehehe...it's jealousy that causes unnecessary suspicion...like when a guy talks to another girl, his GF might get jealous so she starts suspecting him to be having something more with that girl...so she questions him and starts fighting...but basically she's jealous of the girl and feeling insecure...thats why she's suspecting him when there's really no reason to...

Got it? :) well if u still dun agree tell me ok...hehehehe...

Keshi.

Tanvi said...

lol uhhh im kinda dizzie...

Keshi said...

I played NV and I scored 10/10 lol nerd yeah. Just like u :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Tanvi feeling dizzy means u cant u'stand me...lol just forget it :)

Keshi.

Tanvi said...

lol no it was a long paragraph n i read it in one go...lol u noee u noe u noe..thatz why i was like wuttt?

Keshi said...

Saby u know u asked me to kiss ITCC's and ur ass - have u no shame that u pretend ur so fine with me now? Who's spineless now? D u know how much u hurt me by that statement? U have NO IDEA d u - cos u r so used to doing that over and over again!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hehe Tanvi thats ok :)

Keshi.

Ar Ar Ar Arrrrr said...

30+ already :(
Me will come back and post ma comment in a while :)


Take care K000kie piez
Hugz

Jim said...

My dearest dear Friend Kesh,
some day u will no dat dis is true


mebbe when u r 54
and i am up there in the sky
watching u

i fear for u
watch out for Justine

Keshi said...

Goshh Saby why d u always want to say how u feel by making the other feel upset?? Dun u know how to say it without being so dramatic even if that means u have to accept ur wrong?

Whether it's u or me before u who will go up there...how wud u know?u hurt me and u dont like to accept it - I fear for u too, fullstop.

Keshi.

Sonia said...

my ex-boyfriend was like that. he was soo damn possessive that all my time was spent trying to make him understand that i wasn't doing anything wrong! it was always one explanation after another. even if i said i like what someone else was wearing, or if i thought a guy walking by looked good, he would get bugged! it was so wearing! the worst part was, he knew it was wrong, but he was like " i know it's wrong, but if i feel it, what can i do?" !! and what was i supposed to do? stop talking to people at work and the neighbourhood, cos talking even made him angry? stop talking about brad pitt looking good in troy just cos my boyfriend wud be jealous? you can imagine why we broke up!

Keshi said...

Sonzz even my ex was terribly possessive...that's why he's EX :)

**he knew it was wrong, but he was like " i know it's wrong, but if i feel it, what can i do?"

thats the problem with most...even tho they know it's wrong they cant control it. Learning to control unncesessary suspicion can only be done by teaching ur mind to think...allowing urself to realise that setting free the one u love...if at the end of the day he/she comes back to ya, then all's well :)

Keshi.

Pallavi said...

~~If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...~~

keshi this is one of my favorite quotes! i dont think anything else spells out reality better than this single quote. Beautiful!

Sonia said...

keshi, i dunno what to do with that mad man! he won't stop commenting! keeps abusing!
craaazzee! and he really IS jobless. check my comments section

Ar Ar Ar Arrrrr said...

I think that Suspecting without a reason is the biggest damage
Trust....trust...trust is the base of every relationship...not just a marriage. Why family sticks by together...the trust is in born and can neva be shaken up, no matter wht. Then come friendship...and then marriage..bonding b/w 2 people for life, again...its not a blood relationship..it has to be nurtured properly.

petty issues is really not acceptable and I really think it's stupid.
Speak out. there is no point in keeping things inside to build up a volcano. Its gonna erupt one day...and tht might burn out everything.

To be honest she was not wrong, just that he was always insecure.
Im insecure a lot. Yes...its true. I look back and try to understand wehther this was the reason. I never mistrusted her...but she never speak her heart out. I dont wanna write much about this 2nd para...coz I feel its pointed towards me..though its not from ur side. Everything is so perfect in here.
Each and every sentence is awesome....nothing can it make it more perfect K00kie-piez. You have read put down ur thoughts brilliantly.

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...
this was the exact sentnce I had written in ma last mail to her. I relied on this...u know wht I thought of then, this bonding b/w me and my gf is like a hand full of sand. The more efforts you put behind holding it tight, fasters its gonna slip out. you try ur best to keep her with u, but she is gonna slip out coz of ur stupid behaviour.

You have to let go of possessivness and allow freedom and personal space between you two.
Oh my god!!
This speaks out loud.
I dont know from where u got this..or u came out on ur own. I said above...just prefect. Every sentence is perfect and I agree with u here more than 100%. you betcha!!

We do not possess anything in this world, least of all other people.
Yes...we dont. We are unnecesarily trying to show our hold on people around by this word "possessivness". Everyone needs there own space, to be happy.

You just cant force people to like you...just coz u like em too and u are "possessive" about them.

Awesome some K00kie piez. Mind blowing post and this ones going in my top list of all the posts I ever read in past on this blog

Too goood...and your style of thinking is mind blowing!!
Keep it up.

Have a nice day K00kie-piez
God bless you!!
Take care

Jim said...

i agree wid Pallavi
i hope she returns to me
and not to some one else


any way
let the best man win

Jim said...

DAMN !

arzoon tinks dis is his blogg
there shud be a law against long comments

Keshi said...

Sonz I left a msg for u in ur blog. Check it out. And ignore the losa. He needs holy water.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Pallavi yes..it has been my fav for years...the best part is it works :) and really well too.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

z000nie muahhhhhh! :) so glad to see u here...


**Trust....trust...trust is the base of every relationship...

Spot on! Trust it is!



**the trust is in born and can neva be shaken up, no matter wht.

True to a certain extent. But TRUST can be shaken sometimes...thats altogether a different post :)



**its not a blood relationship..it has to be nurtured properly.

wow where did u get that from z000nie? so true - a brilliant line!



**there is no point in keeping things inside to build up a volcano.

so true...speaking out when it's appropriate, is THE best remedy.



**Im insecure a lot....coz I feel its pointed towards me..

awww I hope I didnt bring back sad memories and upset ya z000nie...didnt think that way at all. I really hope ur ok. But if u think ur insecure half the time, u got to work on it...I mean find out why ur so insecure and then control it. Actually I dun this there's any reason that I know of why u should be insecure...ur damn hot ;-), very well-educated, brilliant brain, sensible, very friendly, good family background an great personality...so wut makes u insecure?



**this was the exact sentnce I had written in ma last mail to her.you try ur best to keep her with u, but she is gonna slip out coz of ur stupid behaviour.

well then she was never meant to be ur's...that quote really works...trust me. if she didnt come back to u, she's wasnt meant to z000nie...u deserve much better!



**I dont know from where u got this..or u came out on ur own.

Its my own...no big deal, just that experience speaks :)



**this ones going in my top list of all the posts I ever read in past on this blog

really? wow..but why this one particulary...is it becos it relates to ur ex...awww I hope I really didnt upset ya...thanks for ur very valuable thoughts too...I luv reading ur comments...they r always a source of inspiration and knowledge to me too...



u TC n have a terrific day too ok!
Huggggggz!
Keshi.

Anonymous said...

~~If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...~~ but how many of'em actually impliment on that??????

Keshi said...

Jim stop picking on ppl...it's a bad habit btw.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

South my hand's up for ur Q :) I DO implement it...and I have learnt from it and it always is right!

Keshi :)

Ar Ar Ar Arrrrr said...

I didnt bring back sad memories and upset ya z000nie.
Naah..
Not sad baba...
But its always good to hear what other people think about all this. And if that other person is YOU, I just blindly believe it na. No second thought :)
See, that's the good effect of having an awesome blogger friend na, who writes amazing posts.

so wut makes u insecure?
Hehhe...chilll..
Me just another guy in town na :)
Yeah....maybe Im born with insecurity...thts y.
It screws up ma brain and ma thinking at times...and then I go, "Chill down. Its not the way you think. So relax...Dont get upset unnecessarily"

wow..but why this one particulary...is it becos it relates to ur ex
It got few memories back.
It got few of the mistakes that I did in paast.
And it was everything I had spoken to myself during my depressiong phase.
Kinda u stole it from not-the-bizarre-part of ma brain. But I dont think I wud have expressed it this brilliantly though.

Awesome!!

Jim said...

, a must read for annony mouses,

http://imnutsincapsquotes.blogspot.com/2005/09/blog-polly-see-of-lady-sapho.html

Sonia said...

hey kesh, I've got my blog set to forward all comments to my mail,and i'm having to wade thru all of these comments to get to my mail! don't want my blog to become a warzone, so i've deleted all of the comments pertaining to it.
take care!

Keshi said...

hey z000nie dun believe me blindly lol..I could be wrong so I want u to point that out if it so..hehe...u know, we r all right and wrong at some time or the other :) and I really value ur thoughts...u have good knowledge of life in general well ahead of ur time...


**It got few of the mistakes that I did in paast.

thats good...that means this post helped u to come to terms with some lil thing atleast..isnt it? thats great.

We r all insecure to a certain point...thats normal...no one is 100% insecure-free...:) but it has to have limits so that it doesnt steal other people's freedom...

thanks z000nie u tc!
Keshi.

Keshi said...

Sonzz ur wish really..but by doing that ur sorta giving in to the losa. U aint making ur blog a warzone by just leaving em there...believe me, he gives up pretty soon :) And Im sorry for leaving comments directed to him.

Anyways it's ur wish.

Keshi.

Sonia said...

kesh, you and i have diff views of what is giving up to the person, and what is not. i think it makes my blog ugly to have comments that do not have any meaning watsoever to my post being put up there. it is totally unnecessary. you and the guy obviously know each other, and judging by what you both have to say for each other, there seems to be a lot of history. i do not want abuse like the things he said about you ( which i had deleted already, you didn't see it) or anyone else for that matter, be put on my blog. and where does my blog come in all this? my blog did indeed, become the war zone. thru no fault of my own. i'm possessive about my blog. it's something that is mine. i have no part in this. and i don't gain anything by ignoring him other than rubbish on my driveway, so to speak, so i'm just cleaning it up. so it's not losing or winning. it's just cleaning up.

i hope you understand.
i wud have mailed u this comment if i could.

Keshi said...

Sons really I dont know why you are sort of blaming me for someone else's actions...now it makes me feel that I invited trouble for you, which I didnt. I dont even know who this guy is - I DONT have any history with him like u assumed - he has no name, no face, no class...all I know is he's someone who HATES me to the core and walks abt leaving nasty commenst abt me. Looks like he's winning with ya cos u seem like ur already pissed with ME for HIS actions.

I cant help it that he's doing this to ur blog - his soul intention is to get you annoyed with me for his actions, and its working.

**where does my blog come in all this?

I DONT KNOW Sonzzz! He read ur commenst in my Indian Man post and got frustrated - that may be how. Other than that I don't know!


**i'm possessive about my blog. it's something that is mine.

I understand. He used to do the same to mine ages ago and gave up. That's one of the reasons I dont allow anonymous comments - I used to sit and delete 100s of them! He finds a victim every week while Im his main foucs.

Im sorry that u seem to think that Im the reason why ur blog turned out to be a war zone...while Im his main focus, somehow I did not lead him to ur blog. It was ur reply in the Indian Man post that seem to have provoked this moron. Well anyways Im sorry and I hope u understand too.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Sonzz one more thing...in this net world, u really dont OWN anything...there are so many losers who does things to ur space, and u cant get upset abt such things easily...I learnt it too.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

EVERYONE:

Plz dont shoot me down for this lunatic ITCC's actions. Its not fair to do that if u know me. I do not lead him to any of ur blogs and dont accuse me of that.

thanks!
Keshi.

Sonia said...

hey! i'm sorry you feel that i'm blaming you for anything. i'm totally NOT doing that. the guy is behaving in a very immature way. and i kinda pity him. but it's totally his fault. and i DO NOT blame you for what's happening. i just wanted to tell u that this is not something that i want on my blog. and that's the reason i deleted the comments. he's actually ruined it for others. cos i used to get a lot of really good comments from people who were anonymous, so i'm pretty bugged with the guy about that.

but please yar! i'm not gonna stop reading ur blog or be bugged or anything!

Sonia said...

of course u don't lead him to anyone else. i don't know u, but i do know what's fair. and that's why i don't hold you responsible.

and u DID'NT understand kesh! didn't understand that losing is a diff thing for everyone, you're idea of giving up is to delete his comments ( from what u said), mine is diff. priorities are diff aren't they? that's all i meant. and i think u're swell! won't get bugged with u for something some nut is doing. that doesn't make sense does it?

tulipspeaks said...

aww..60+ comments already..gee..

hmm..you know k000kie..i learnt this the hard way..in this issue, i am the one guilty,not my bf (ex)..although he had his way to insult me (although at times, he acted on impluse), he never suspected me, not even a single second..even till now...

but in turn, i am the one who always suspicious about his female frens..to say that those gals were nice not really accurate..still it was not a reason for me to be judgemental on my bf..

as you said before, i am not fake..and i cant fake the fact that i had been jealous, possessive and suspicious before..i'm coming out clean with you..

but now that i know the mistakes that i have done..i can't hold my tears back each time he calls me..

=am000nie=

messys musings said...

k00kieeeee so true...

this disgusting being suspected... never experienced it but i can just imagine how it feels...

today right now i am all alone at home... gonna b alone for the next 8 days... all gone out of town... n i m happy he doesnt suspect me.. m happy hes got the trust in me... to leave me alone...

n ur right space is very important in a relationship... awww m i lucky :D

Jim said...

Sonia dear ITCC is a much mis-undrstood person

he is not one person
he is many annoy mouses put together


, i confess i too take the annony mouse route very often,

coz i dont want to die young

Jim said...

Kesh,
wud u like if my pick my nose in public instead ?

Keshi said...

Sonia I gotcha :) No probs...just that I thought u must have misunderstood me...it's great to know u havent...

And Im really sorry this idiot had to pollute ur blog too...partly it's becos of me I realise...becos it's me who he's challenged by, and he tries to take revenge from me by annoying my mates...thats the lowest form of revenge btw. Anyways one of these days he's going to regret his sorry existence.

But anyways thanks for the explanation Sonzz...u have every right to get upset...it's really irritating when this happens but like I said b4, net is full of idiots too...so u just have to take it easy. My blog was once hacked and it was one hell of a sad few days for me...but I got it back and I was calm and in control. You got to be tougher...dont get disappointed easily and DONT RESPOND to such crap. At the same time, what ur doing to drown his crap is good...I respect ur choice. Yes I too had to lose my good annonymous visitors becos of this loser. But if someone really wants to comment, they will create an Id and do so...so it doesnt really upset me that I dun have anonymous comments anymore...and I delete this idiot's comments not becos I cant handle em..it's becos they r dumb and inapproprite in a civilised world...and would be a pain for ppl who visit my blog. rubbish should go in the bin hence it goes there :)

Thanks Sonzz and u tc...all's well and smile now, HUGGGGZ!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Amu aww hugggggz! C'mon girl we ALL are possessive, jealous, suspicious, judgemental etc...we r human after all rnt we? Well this is why I put up this post...for us to learn :) Otherwise we dun need such discussions do we? :):)

I used to be upset when my ex talked with goodlooking chicks...I know its really wrong and stupid to feel that way...but it's natural. But I never hassled him with that or had fights being suspicious abt his female friends. I only felt a tinge of jealousy sometimes and it stopped right there :) But ofcourse if he went and did more than friends kinda stuff I wud get mad lol!

Well we all learn as we go abt in life...and yes being true to urself and speaking abt it is better than suffering in silence...besides God has given u another chance Amu ;-) make it right this time...

~~k000kie hugz Amu....

Keshi said...

m000nie hugggggggz! Ur one honest and true friend. I sense that more after my Indian Man post :) Alot of my usual pals have dropped the frequency of visiting me...lol...but u r not one of them...u always stand up for what's right and I admire u for that. Im not saying this becos ur comments were favorable to my post...only becos u r so brave that u said what u had to say even infront ur fellowmen - well-done!

Well u being a honest and straightforward lady there's no reason for anyone to suspect u at all. No wonder ur husband trusts u fully and thats no surprise :) Ur a lovely person...just like Amu, nothing fake abt ya...viva forever mah m000nie Starshines!

k000kie :)

Rupa (BNB) said...

Trust is the piller of any relationship..

If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...~~
I wont take this.. This is real nonsense sometimes

one of my ex B.F. broke up with me when I went to UK on onsite project. . After some times he came back to me & said sorry, he realised my value etc etc bullshit.. He proposed marraige too.. But again he got engaged to some other girl without telling me..

Just because I believed this quote, I let him betray me twice in my life.. Else I would have kicked him right then..

So it is simply, if some one loves you they will never let you down.. If they let you down for even a moment they dont love you..

Jim said...

So it is simply, if some one loves you they will never let you down.. If they let you down for even a moment they dont love you..



, bold and beautiful is too simplistic,

i love my friendz verry much,
but i am a sadist

Jim said...

the prob is dat dis IT crowd have learned wat love shud be like from reading , Mills and Boons,

Jim said...

Love in the real world means pain, suffering, .... and a host of other pains


which have to be shared
Love is not all roses and candy and candle lit dinners

Rupa (BNB) said...

Jim we are simple people with Simple dreams..Some one cant take it for granted.

ofcourse Pain & sufferings are also equally shared, but please cant tolerate if some one USE for thier purpose..

Jim said...

, Pssstttt !
Justine is she still mad at me?
,

http://imnutsincapslove.blogspot.com/2005/09/i-dont-know-why-but-i-love-to-see-u.html

Jim said...

wat purpose ???

Justin Thyme said...

** So it is simply, if some one loves you they will never let you down.. If they let you down for even a moment they dont love you.

I would have to agree that this is a little overly simplistic - so let me offer this equally simplistic example. We all (well, most of us that is) love our parents, but there were times growing up when we obviously let them down or disappointed them. Does that mean because we let them down that we did not love them? If we used the logic of the initial statement, then that would obviously have to be the case.

The problem with a statement like that (and I mean absolutely no offense or disrespect to you, BB, so please don't interpret this as such) is that it is too black and white. Anyone who has ever really and truly been in love with another human being (and I am not talking about what "passes" for love these days) knows that there are thousands upon thousands of shades of grey that exist between those two absolutes.

I am sorry to hear about that particular experience with your ex-boyfriend. But if you go forward into each new potential for love carrying that as a shield in front of you to protect yourself from being hurt... well, that's not love. That's condition (i.e. "I will love you if you don't do this to me" or "I will love you if you don't do that to me").

tulipspeaks said...

..besides God has given u another chance Amu ;-) make it right this time..

I am longing to make it all right this time..praying that my previous ugly experiences will help me to be a stronger person..

=am000nie-huggs-k000kie=

Jim said...

Justine is not just a friend
dis guy gott sensitivity

which means
he hurts easily


Justine u OK wid me now?
can we be lovers once more?

Jim said...

, Music -critic
PISS OFF !
,
now ur pissing me off too

Lay of Kesh
or face the consequences

OK, u didnt
now, kiss your deek good-bye
u dont get another chance

Jim said...

SHIT !
i followed ze musik-critic
He is just a RAT !

no annony mouse
no home

just gutter ka keeda

Jim said...

i am just itching to get my hand on his scrawny neck


the other on his tiny balls
i wanna hear him scream in pain

Michelle said...

i luuuuuvvvv tht songgggg ''suspicious minds'' resung by gareth gatessss :)

n yes i agree wid u
a relationship shud b based on trust.it is not wrong to b possessive,but to a limit.

Autumn Storm said...

I've been comtemplating the following:
Without respect, can there be love?
Without trust, can there be love?
I don't think so, but perhaps its not that simple...still contemplating :-)

Anyone who will not give you their key, is someone you cannot trust with your key. They'll not trust others not to abuse or poke around in the secret corners. Basically, I agree with Justin : "it's because we ourselves are capable of the things we suspect in someone else".

Interesting subject matter just as we expect.
Nice post.

Unknown said...

wow!! its amazing reading such a thoughtful post

great! dear i got to learn many things

our life bind the relations with nature, living being, though non living also so to give life a better destiny we need to know how to handle our relationship.
root of every relationship must be comprise of trust n love n no thought for betray

thanks for such lovely post, u deserve lots of praise my dear

take care

strawy said...

nice post babes , i think if u want a healty relationship u shudnt suspect ur partner for no reason , if u really trust or love ur partner or friend u wont suspect them.Being possesive is not bad but being over possesive can distroy ur relationship .....

hugssss keshu , nice 1 again

st000nie

PuNeEt said...

gosh...
already in late 80s...
not age re... my comment ranking...

babezzz... a bit hectic schedule...
have read ur post... nice one...
will come back to this with my commnets...

tomm i may not be online till eve...
hopefully no new post tomm ;-)
have a good weekend....

If I was a hunter I would have killed tiger...
although I dont like killing animals... but some creatures are not worth life...
take care
will be back
huggzzzz

sLuG said...

hmmm...i need ta read moe boooks n luv n relationships...uff...ppl...how thyey juz complicate matterz...neway...me nu face...neat bloggin...adios

:) said...

very true gorgeous.. suspecting.. n excess of jealousy.. n possessiveness..
these 3 things can destroy any rship in mins..

suspecting yr frd or love one for no valid reason...
for this we say trust n communication is very essential for any rship.. if u r suspecting speak it up.. talk.. b4 making any conclusions.. n trust yr partner with answers otherwise there is no end of messing things..

jealousy n possessiveness... hhmm to be true these two r present in all of us..
but u knw its pretty natural to hv this feeling... whn u care for smone.. u start feeling possessive about thm.. n it feels good upto sm extent that smone is possessive for us.. bcoz that shows that we r imp for them rt..
but as they say excess of everything is bad.. so excess of it creates a suffocation in rship..

we can't make everyone happy and neither can everyone make us happy
..ye i learn this now after long time... that doesnt matter how hard u try... u just cant make everyone happy.. so true gorgeous..

You have to let go of possessivness and allow freedom and personal space between you two.
rt... space is very imp in any rship..

~~If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...~~

..ohhh ye i so believe in this quote.. as zoonie said the more u'll try too hold sand in yr hand the more fast it'll slip out.. so set it free..

dont hv any words to appritiate this post gorgeous... wonderful!!
each n every sentence is just perfect :)

hugggzzzzzzz:)

Justin Thyme said...

But, your friends will read this and wonder why it is always you that gets all these comments. They will never voice their opinion.

What actually comes to mind when I read things like this is "people who live in glass houses should not throw stones." Personally, I don't wonder... I don't question it because it doesn't matter. None of us are perfect and every single one of us has made more than our share of mistakes in our past. If one cannot allow another person to move beyond their past, how can we ever expect others to let us move beyond ours?

I am not saying you don't have a legitimate beef with our blog host here. But that is between you and her, and for the most part does not involve those of us who visit her site regularly.

Prakash said...

Hi keshi
another thought provoking post..
I agree with ur quote...loving someone is like chasing a butterfly...more u chase more it tries to get away from u...if u sit and watch it will come back to u..

Suspecting...if u realy love that person then u got to trust that person...u might have doubts as we are humans but u should not allow that to grow...anything u got to be honest with ur loved one and talk it thru.....bcos when u love somebody too much then it is natural u get jealous....

I always thought that if somebody loves and cares u and knows well about u then that person will trust u, u dont need to explian or try to prove anything....if they dont trust u and believe u..then they dont love u as much as u think.....so u dont need to waste ur time explaining....this is my way of thinking...
oooppppss done a keshi....written too muchh...just kidding
Prakash

Keshi said...

B&B heyy :)

~~If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...~~

did u decipher this quote well sweety? :) Let's see..

It says set ur loved-one free...which means exactly wut u did with ur ex...u gave him the freedom to be alone when u left to UK on work...

Now this quote also says if that loved-one comes back to you, he's ur's...well in ur case he didnrt come back - he didnt wait for u...he just found someone else...

The third part of the quote says..if the loved-one doesnt, it never was...SPOT ON! That's where u need to think in ur case...he never came back to u so he was never MEANT to be with u...

I know it sounds all sooked up but it's the very truth B&B...he was not worth ur Love...he wasnt meant to be ur love...so by setting him free u didnt do anything wrong...that was THE TEST of true love. If by not setting him free, he stuck with ya for a while it still wouldnt have been true love...am I not right?

Keshi.

Keshi said...

I agree with Justin's theory...we do let ppl down all the time...intentionally or not...it's in all of us, cant help it. But that doesnt always mean we DONT love them...we make mistakes. In B&B case, I dont think he deserved her love...he was too boring that he fell for the next girl he saw and also a cheater...so my theory is u SET HIM/HER FREE AND YOU'LL SEE THE REAL HIM/HER :)

B&B sweety, like Justin says, u have to realise that loved-ones DO let us down sometimes and that does not mean they are not able to Love us again...if given a chance they will prove it...but ofcourse if they keep doing the same mistake again n again, then that's where u draw the line.

Thanks!
Keshi.

Keshi said...

Good on ya Amu...we all learn from past experiences :) Good luck!


Pithaly hold ur horses...dun cheat lol! Read correctly what I stated. U only typed 'Learning to control ..." this bit...what abt the rest? I said

**Learning to control unnecessary suspicon....

which means learning to control a bad emotion...isnt it? what's wrong with that? It's not like controlling ppl...it's controlling ur mind rather and that's exactly what we need to do b4 all emotions run amock :) And trust me you CAN learn to control ur mind...thats what the entire human life is abt...if we didnt have control in ourselves imagine how many more mad ppl, criminals and mess will be ard??

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Hey p000nie muahhh! I havent heard Gareth Gates singing it...must be nice...I like Elvis songs...hehe I try hard to sing 'Cant help falling in love' on karaoke and I fail miserably :(



Hey Autumnnnnn muahhh I missed ya hunzz! So glad to see ur presence here :) It's really like seeing a bright ray of sunshine when I see ur name in here...I always get that feeling.

I think ur right...Love is not that simple...just by having trust and respect it aint always love...there's more to it and I believe Love can exist even if trust and respect sometimes gets broken...given a second chance...

**Anyone who will not give you their key, is someone you cannot trust with your key

spot on Autumn! that shows they cant be trusted either...like Justin stated it's ppl like them that suspect others...

Thanks girl have a great day ahead...
Keshi.

Keshi said...

Niti heyy thanks!
**root of every relationship must be comprise of trust n love n no thought for betray

very true...unnecessary suspicion occurs in a mind who's capable of betraying too...thats what I think :) Thanks!



st000nie hugggggz dolly! Missed ya...yep trust is imp and u wont suspect ur partner if the trust is built on healthy levels...thanks!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Puneet hey take ur time..I know u always come back with great thoughts to ponder upon :) Dun kill any animals, most of all this mozzy(mosquito) of a tiger...lol!



Slug WC!
Yes ppl complicate simple things...thats so true :) Thanks for dropping by and do come back anytime.



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Pari baby doll huggggz!
Yes if something's bothering u, u just have to speak up and solve it...also excessive suspicion is a killer...ppl have to learn to take things a bit easy...

** zoonie said the more u'll try too hold sand in yr hand the more fast it'll slip out.

thats so true and it's a wonderful quote to compare it. Also Prakash said something similar...love is like chasing a butterfly, the more u chase the more it flies away from ya...they r great quotes to go by...

thanks girl!
Keshi.

Keshi said...

Prakash I simply love that quote...loving someone is like chasing a butterfly...wow!! So true...the more u chase it the more it distances itself from ya...btw Im someone who's crazy abt lovely butterflies...:) I used to catch em when I was a kid...I didnt hurt and but I caught em, watched em for a while n let em go...sounds a bit like my love-life too -I will have a post o this soon ;-)


**they dont love u as much as u think.....so u dont need to waste ur time explaining....this is my way of thinking...

I think the same way! I dun waste time...I have done it b4 so I have learnt...no point putting ur 110% on someone who cant u'stand u...it's a waste of time n energy...just leaving is the best option.

Thanks Prakash!
Keshi.

Keshi said...

Justin thanks for sticking up for me but I dun even read the losa anymoe :) Just leave the flies alone - they have shown enough of their culture and true nature that everytime I see a comment by him I just wanna vomit..lol! I just delete em straight away...no-life toilet workers u see.

Justin u shouldnt even spare asingle precious word from u over them...cos U R A PRECIOUS and DIGNIFIED soul...dun mix with polluted and low minds plz.

hugggs Justin!
Keshi.

Unknown said...

gooooooooooood morninggggg k000kie-monstaa

Keshi said...

morningggggggggggggg babester ;-) hows Mel looking? Sad n gloomy or hot n sizzling?

k000kie-boxer

Unknown said...

Its sunny for a change :)

You all excited for tomorrow?? It'll be an awesome show mate.

Guess who Im gona see next Friday?? You know Raghav??

Keshi said...

WTF NV r all ur weekends spent going for concerts? I dunno Raghav?? but I know Udit Narayan will be in Sydney for a huge show in Oct...u going? And there's a 7-day Bollywood show starting next week with John Abraham too but I dun get to go :(

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Pithaly ur boring me...u've totally lost it and going abt some Deepak Chopra kind of deep stuff...why cant you just leave it simple - control the emotions that cause you unnecessary agony...thats what I meant - not the mess ur talking abt!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

no Im not in agony - ur assuming that too just by some scribbling on a comment box...its hard to read how someone feels just from some typed up message Pithaly.

look slike ur spiralling on some venting out or some sorta anger towards me...I wonder if it's from my Indian Man post lol! Well never mind...u'll be fine after few days.

good bye :)
Keshi.

--pearl-- said...

awww me choooo lost...feels lyke ages since ive been here :( soooo many new posts!

uhmmm abt this,yeh i guess to a limit every one is possesive.I am very possesive,and if there is ever a reason to suspect,i beilive in talkin it out n sorting things out,face to face,instead of assuming things.And i guess that works pretty well :)

sorry,havent had the time to catch up on ur other posts,i hardly get tyme online actully...!

hugzzzz miss yaa!

Keshi said...

Hey Pearly hugggggggz!

**,i beilive in talkin it out n sorting things out,face to face,instead of assuming things.And i guess that works pretty well

yes talkin is the best thing to fo Pearly. But even b4 talking and allowing the chance of saying hurtful words, we may have to think if our suspicion is worthy of it at all...u kno wut I mean? :) Sometimes we suspect unnecessarily and thats not even worth talking abt...

hey thats ok that u dun have time to blog hop...I perfectly u'stand....:) It's good u come here atleast once in a while...tc and huggggggggggz!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Well Pithaly it may not work for ya...but I wonder how u remain non-abusive in the net world? :) U know how some ppl abuse abuse abuse others on the net - going out of control with emotions....but I havent seen u doing that....so, :) u must have some sort of CONTROL na? Gotcha lol!

Keshi.

Jim said...

, i must have the last word on all posts, , and

i will

Pithaly is right
Exercising control on mind is bull shit


if u want to orgasm
u gotta let go

PuNeEt said...

Hi Keshu…
I’m back :-)>

Nice post babez… liked it a lot…

I think that Suspecting without a reason is the biggest damage anyone can ever do to any kind of relationship
Do you think we suspect without a reason… there is alwayz a reason… that reason might be very stupid and baseless but there is a reason… what say???

If you are restricting your partner that freedom then you are not fit for a relationship
Ye agree to this… but I also feel complete freedom is not good in any relationship leave alone the love affairs… we should know the boundaries of our freedom and our flight should be restricted within those boundaries…

It's easy for me to say this but even I find it difficult at times not to be suspicious..
Ye it is with me too… gosh… I think insecurity comes in coz we value that relationship…

People are not objects, we can't make everyone happy and neither can everyone make us happy.
Ye… very true… and if a relationship can’t give us happiness and if we cant be what we are with that person… no point dragging that relationship for the sake of it…

We do not possess anything in this world…
that’s so true… and this is written in “Geeta” also…

have you been suspected for no valid reason and how did you feel then?
yes… a lot of times… felt sad for that moment…but I feel insecurity is a part of a relationship… and if I’m correct… I’m sure the other person will realise… sooner or later…

Or have you suspected someone else due to just plain jealousy…
yes… a lot of times… n felt guilty… cried too…

I’m of the view that possessiveness is a part of very valuable relationship… we don’t want to loose the things we love the most… and at times in the process of holding that relationship so close… we end up holding it so tight…
No one is perfect… no one ever will be…
we can only gain trust by trusting…
we cant get complete freedom in any valuable n dear relationship… nor can we give that complete freedom to the other person…
it works both ways ;-)

Have fun…

I’ve to reply on your other post also…
How much you make me think… gosh still I luv it…

Cheers

Keshi said...

Puneeeet :)


**Do you think we suspect without a reason… there is alwayz a reason… that reason might be very stupid and baseless but there is a reason… what say???

hehe when I said withot a reason, I meant a valid reason..I should have added that word, ur right :)



**Ye agree to this… but I also feel complete freedom is not good in any relationship leave alone the love affairs… we should know the boundaries of our freedom and our flight should be restricted within those boundaries…

Definitely!



**Ye it is with me too… gosh… I think insecurity comes in coz we value that relationship…

yes thats right but thats where we r wrong too...if we value a r;ship so much, we should NOT feel insecure hai na? There cant be insecurity in a great r'ship...



**if a relationship can’t give us happiness and if we cant be what we are with that person… no point dragging that relationship for the sake of it…

true but I did that same mistake for a long time...finally I called it quits.




**that’s so true… and this is written in “Geeta” also…

Really? omg I didnt know...wow u read the Gita?



**yes… a lot of times… felt sad for that moment…but I feel insecurity is a part of a relationship… and if I’m correct… I’m sure the other person will realise… sooner or later…

yep it's ok for this to happen at the beginning of a r'ship...cos at that time both of u dunno each other much. but if it continues to happen even after years of being together, then it's either u who's taking ur freedom far too much or if thats not the case, then it's ur partner who needs to learn not to be jealous of something thats trivial.


**yes… a lot of times… n felt guilty… cried too…

aww hugggggggggz! dun u cry, I hate to see ppl crying :( so were u being really unreasonable or was it right that u suspected? why did u cry? u dun have to cry if u know wut ur doing is right...



**I’m of the view that possessiveness is a part of very valuable relationship… we don’t want to loose the things we love the most…

well true Puneet. But we cant think of ppl as objects...nothing really is our's...if they want to stray then let em...cos there's really no point holding on to someone who cant be trusted right?




**and at times in the process of holding that relationship so close… we end up holding it so tight… No one is perfect… no one ever will be… we can only gain trust by trusting…

so true! I agree.



**we cant get complete freedom in any valuable n dear relationship… nor can we give that complete freedom to the other person…
it works both ways ;-)

true u cant have the complete freedom...but it's called realising the individuality...though the 2 share a r'ship, u need to have personal freedom and space too...not completely but to a certain extent that it doesnt erase who u really r...



**How much you make me think… gosh still I luv it…

goshhh u too Puneet...ur answers r very deep and analytical that I always end up realising I have a lot to learn from all of, thanks!

Keshi.

PuNeEt said...

Hi Keshu....

we should NOT feel insecure hai na? There cant be insecurity in a great r'ship...
ye... but that is an ideal situation not a practical one...
unfortunately this doesnt happen...
may be coz human nature is such ;-)

I did that same mistake for a long time...finally I called it quits
I know how it feels... I've gone thru this once in my life...
things do happen for good...
and I wish u all the very best...
:-)>

wow u read the Gita
no re...
I have just read some the very famous text ;-)

but if it continues to happen...... it's either u who's taking ur freedom far too much...... then it's ur partner who needs to learn not to be jealous of something thats trivial
Thats so true... bullzeye :-)>

so were u being really unreasonable
yess... one of the Indian men afterall... ;-)

why did u cry?
coz i felt miserable for my behaviour... attimes I'm quick to react... which can actually hurt some1...
I knew I was not correct... n felt guilty for my behaviour...

u need to have personal freedom and space too
yeee thats so true...

hey its great reading ur post...
i learn a lot from it...

take care
Cheers

Keshi said...

Puneeet hehe...

**ye... but that is an ideal situation not a practical one...
unfortunately this doesnt happen...
may be coz human nature is such ;-)

ok I agree but some ppl get close to that practicality...they really do. Not perfect but near perfect.



**I have just read some the very famous text ;-)

wow!


**yess... one of the Indian men afterall... ;-)

lol na na...its not cos ur Indian oh c'mon loll! Most men can get unreasonable :) and women too.


**coz i felt miserable for my behaviour... attimes I'm quick to react... which can actually hurt some1...

aha Im the same...


**I knew I was not correct... n felt guilty for my behaviour...

yep thats the hardest to accept na..


thanks!
Keshi.