Friday, November 4

Marital Martials

Folks, while we should never laugh at people who are less fortunate when it comes to English -language skills, one cannot help but laugh at the content below :) I think what these guys should do is get a little help before posting their marital ads, 'cos this is their potential life partner they are trying to impress right? Or do you think they should just be honest and be themselves - then why not write in their own language? But anyways I think most girls would run a 1000 miles if they read some of these :) I genuinely feel sorry for these folks, but it seems that it's not only their English that's a bit funny, but also some of the attitudes...lol, have a read. Got this a while back and I'm sure some of you may have seen this before, but anyways, enjoy!

Apparently these are actual ads on an Indian matrimonial site. Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart :)

Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this...LOL!

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- Hello To Viewvers My Name is Shiva , I am single i dont have female, If anyone whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my heart...when ever u whant to meet pls viset my resident or send u letter.. Thanks yours Regards Shiva ~*~

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i want very simple girl. from brahmin educated family from orissa state he is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework(Homework?)

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Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. She may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life can run smoothly. thank you(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)

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She should be good looking and should have a service. She Shoulsd have one brother and one sister. She should be educated.(ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria? Service??)

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I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand forever !!!(The Hindi movie effect)

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i am simple boy.I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck now i am looking one girl she care me and love me lot lot lot(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)


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My wife should be as 'Parvati' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tulsi asin KSBKBT......(Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure he must be demanding too much,ain't he?)


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i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house she should give recpect to our cast(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...)

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HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING BOY,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.(all of us are loughing{laughing})

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whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someone wife and she must think of the future life if she is too like this she would be called the woman of the lamp(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this guy wants)

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i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from "Ok-syndrome")

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HI IAM VERY COOL NU AT HER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK(the "ok syndrome"again and what language is this?)

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iam pranav my family histoy my two brother two sister and fater & mother sister complity marred(I hope she's not marred)

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i am very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent.I am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.(actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??)

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my name is farhan and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes(height of desperation! )

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I want one girl who love me or my mother. She love me heartly or she have a frank she's skin colour 'normal' not a black or not a whitey. I Think the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful.but iam not a handsome boy or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a good boy. My father already expired . iam ''AEKLAUTA''. THE CHOICE IS YOUR.byebye.(Whitey?)

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i am kanan. i do owo businas.one sistar.She was marred.(No comments)

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I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT.(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)

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hello i am a good charactarised man. i want to run my life happily.i divorced my first wife.her charactor is not good'. i expect the goodminded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ...(but credit cards not accepted..???)

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my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service(Zebra..???)

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i'm looking out for who lives in bombay, girl simple who trust me lot should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.(Now that criterion is a must, isn't it)

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to be married on jan-2005. working man perferable(this guy has fixed the marriage date too! But he is yet to find a bride or is it a groom? I wish him best of luck anyways!)

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i would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure.because girl is the maharani.(Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)

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ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not paying salary at present.(what kind of company is that - home and company?)

Just some weekend humor :) Have a blast guys!

69 Cranium Signets:

Unknown said...

Me firstttttttttttttt

Unknown said...

ahhh now I can read the post in peace.

Unknown said...

LOL I remember reading these on zombies old blog. That was a pisser mate hahah. I want a wife like TULSI and PARVATI hahahah

Unknown said...

hehe Kiran I got that mail too awesome.

Keshi said...

lolz NV u a whitey who can run life smoothly? then apply for me lolllll!


hahahah Kiran! The female version of it is it? LOLLLLLL! Thank God ur dad didnt put ur's on the net...hehe...

hahahaha ur dad laughed too!


Keshi.

Mirage said...

Lol! Are these guys for real!!? :D

Hey thnx for visiting my space...

Ar Ar Ar Arrrrr said...

Glad to be in TOP 15..

Lemme read now

Ar Ar Ar Arrrrr said...

Now what has happend to K000kini

Dont tell me you gonna paste forwarded mails here...

:-w <- angry icon

Rupa (BNB) said...

:) hehe Very funny ads in deed.

dimwitnot said...

Mr. and Mrs. ITCC's Life together..



The couple had an outstandingly happy and successful marriage. The
husband was once asked to what he attributed this remarkable situation.

"It's simple," he said. "Division of labor. My wife makes all the
small, routine decisions. She decides what house we buy, where we go
on vacation, whether the kids go to private schools, if I should
change my job, and so on."

"And you?"

"I make the big, fundamental decisions. I decide if the United States
should declare war on China, if Congress should appropriate money for
a manned expedition to Mars, and so on."

Jim said...

, , i am a young married bachelor age 55, now converted to Islam. Looking for a bharatiya nari to tie another knot. She shud look good in a bikini and not nag me when i look at other woomen too., ,

tulipspeaks said...

ah..glad to be in top 20..phhewww..

let me read the post now


=am000nie=

tulipspeaks said...

colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service(Zebra..???)

ROFL...i laughed so loud till my mom came in asking whats wrong!! k000kie, your question was hillarious!!


=am000nie=

Jim said...

TIGERRRRR
get out



i already proposed

Jim said...

Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.

Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.


was reading some earlier posts
TIGER, take heed

strawy said...

lolzzz, funny adds, aawwwwwwww keshu u getting marry ??
y this add shadd post ..lolzzz
hugssss sweety


st000nie

Keshi said...

WC Mirage :) lol I know...some of these guys sound really stupid I wonder how they'd treat a woman...




z000nie aww I know I'm not a FWemails blogger but this one's a classic na..lol!
**:-w <-

is an angry icon? lollz more like a man seeing stars kinda icon...hehehehe. hows ya z000nie?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

lolz B&B yess they r beyond just funny :)



Saby lol that's a funny ad...wonder which bikini-clad bharatha-nari will marry ya...hehehe



ROFL Amu hahahahaha u made u mum ask u why u gone crazy? hahahahaha!



awww st000nie na na me not gonna marry yet...I dun wanna leave the blog world as yet :) hahahaha! Muahhhhhhhhhh dolly!



Keshi.

uttara said...

grrrrrrrrrrrrr@ alll wat the hell mezz not even in top 29 :(((((

sobzzzzzzzzz

okie dokie . .now lemme read the post ..ghosh cant read .. my eyes wid tears ...

uttara

uttara said...

uff fooooooo not 29 .. top 10 ..lol

uttara

Ar Ar Ar Arrrrr said...

man seeing stars kinda icon
Why will I see stars....unless some chick comes and slaps me in day time...

Hehehe

Me doing great K000kini..

Im used to reading fresh hand written posts na

*wink*


*wink*

uttara said...

z000 u not wrkng .. me coming n kickinggggg u ..lol

ut000nie......

PuNeEt said...

First time may be ur sharing a forward...

but cool one... I had read this before also...

I guess BnB had posted this on her blog ;-)

But its amazing stuff... can read any number of times...

Keep rocking...

will come back on ur prev post too ;-)

have fun
and have a great weekend

Cheers

Lindsey said...

Oh no! Those are hysterical!!!

Jim said...

, marriage is out
how about live-in ads?
,


wanted a girl who can cook and darn

who will be good company (laff at all my sick jokes)

who has read the Kamasutra and yet will experiment further

who dont have PMS (or is it PMT?)



i will pay the rent

Devilish Angel said...

Hahaha.... Funny post, but good one!

Justin Thyme said...

:-) Thanks for that smile and laugh for this this morning!! Great way to kick of a Friday and the rest of the weekend!!

My only question is this - just how many personal ads does Saby et al have out there? ;-)

tulipspeaks said...

yea..she was kind of surprise seeing me laughing alone..geeeezzz, should have closed the door..

then, i read this for her "colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service(Zebra..???)"..she laughed at it too..lolz..


=am000nie=

Autumn Storm said...

Justin :-D!!!

I think, I got this (or at least very similar) in an email recently. Gotta love 'em, so sweet. I joined this friendship thing, where I can speak to my nephews and nieces (cousin's kids) around the world, but I also get other messages from strangers once in a while and have had 3 'marriage proposals' thus far that sounded much like these LOL. Excellent post - always love a giggle, and with Justin's comment, it was double the fun.

Brood Mode said...

:) quite a few laughs here!

--pearl-- said...

im laffin lyke a lunatic here...phew!i soo needed this today !...i sat all day in d house with a back ache...n i was soooo frustrated ...n im laffin lyke crazy here... ~~!!~~

Michelle said...

looolllllzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!

dat wuz funny :p

Kroopa Shah (Kr00pz) said...

Ok you have to stop posting stuff like this!! I was reading this at work and couldn't stop laughing!!!

Unknown said...

wow! its so lovely refreshing pic in your profile..me just loving it

post is too funny especially your words in italic......lol
me in hurried to read your previous post
till then take care
hugssssszzzzzzzzzz

tsduff said...

Very funny posting Keshi. You must wonder if all are for real. Different strokes for different folks - so many unique individuals, all looking for love :-)

Drywall Mom said...

I can see now why they are still single. It's not just their spelling and grammer that is bad, they also have unrealistic expectations.

Vivhyd said...

Haha.. well there have been some email fwds gng arnd with these things.. I havent read stuff such as these myself.. but reading thru these it does seem some may exist.. but then the whole ad business on the internet (personal) is funny and we can always find something to laugh at. who knows.. I may be doing the same in a couple of years.. althgh sometimes I find very nicely written stuff thgh.. nice one keshi..

Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

LOL Keshi!!

I've read most o them earlier somewhere..... these people really need some help....and i doubt if even a single one of them cud actually find a life partner for himself !!

Btw...cool profile pic ! :D

rock on babezzz!

Jim said...

Keah,

i want u to no dat a comment on my blog has a shelf like of only one day

so dont get worked up
u neednt read dem if u dont want to


if u dont have a thick skin like i do

, read only the mush Justine hands out to u and Autumn,

Jim said...

, i dunno why Justine and Autumn dont like me,


i love me

http://imnutsincaps.blogspot.com/2005/11/matter-of-choice.html

Jim said...

A poor surgeon hurts 1 person at a time. A poor teacher hurts 130.
-Ernest Leroy Boyer (b. 1928), American educator
Quote WorldFamous Quotes at QuoteWorld.org

sittingnut said...

:-D funny ... sad too.

Jim said...

words interpretation


VULNERABLE (fem) opening one's self fully, physically and emotionably like she done

male interpretation
playing cricket wid out ball guards

Dawn said...

hahaha hey these are I think jokes created...as they do on blondes haha !
btw ur profile pic is cool...;)

cheers!

Sherri Sanders said...

thanks for stopping by my site keshi. These were hilarious! My favorite was the one asking for the 'normal' colored person. LOL

Katie said...

this is pretty damn funny...lmfao...great post

Pecos Blue said...

this is fun thank you for sharing--you gotta hope there is someone out there for all these people--otherwise it would just be sad.

messys musings said...

lol k00kieeeeeeeeeee so funny i m laughing like a nutcase here.. n all r wondering if i have gone bonkers.. hehe... m in tears :))))

hahahaha

will comment more later..

lollllllllllllllllllllzzzzzzzzzz

uttara said...

keshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
hey babes ....wer r uuuuuuuuuuu
lolzzzzzzzzzz

mez missinggggggggg u ...

hehehehe
mermaid...

Anonymous said...

Good day keshi! Thanks for sharing the fwd. It was funny:)

uttara said...

my baes is absconding :(((((((((((((
mez sadd sadd

mermaid

Sonia said...

i want a girl who will love me OR my mother????!! OMG! what the hell! i sure hope he just doesn't know what he's saying! and tulsi and parvati?? who the hell r they? and i used to think only old women watched these soaps! sheesh! don't even wanna comment on the rest of them!

Ar Ar Ar Arrrrr said...

@Ut000nie
Your babes not absconding...
She is out for shopping...which is one of her fav weekend activities....
And afta that she has KungFu Sessions later in eve.

Right K00kini :)

Peace out..

Invincible said...

lolol :) :)
i have seen a few on fundoo's blog (orkut) and a few on zombie's.

These r damn funny :)

Jim said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA GRID

messys musings said...

lol k00kie came bak to read again :))... awesome one...

specially the 'eklauta' thing... lol so funny..

but see where we in india r stuck??? sometimes its not so funny... its disgusting sometimes...

Jim said...

SHAADI dot com

u can be sewed and u will
cant wait for Monday



rubs hands in glee

Sugababee said...

LOL..

That was damn hilarious....and the added comments....a fine touch indeed;)

Keshi said...

lol Uttara too cute :)


z000nie yeah I know...I dun post FWs...but this one I felt like :) cos it's a real classic lol! btw girls wont slap ya sweety pie...they will adore ya for the person u r HUGGGGGGGZ!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Kiran I just wanted a change...and Lotus is my favvv flower :) but z000nie wants me to get bak to the old unflower :(


Puneet thanks hehe glad u enjoyed em :) Had a good weekend?


Linny thanks gla du liked em :)


LOL Jim...it's PMS/PMT...btw if she doesnt have em, she can't be a woman...u might as well apply in a gay column :)



Hi Vanathi WC :)




Justin hugggz!

**just how many personal ads does Saby et al have out there?

ROFL!!!!! That's a terrific Q :)




Amu awwww ur mum had a laugh too..Im glad :)



LOL Autumn :):) U got similar proposals hahaha!



Hey Broody :)


aww Pearly glad u had few laughs then HUGGGGGGGZ! Hope ur betta today...


lollzz Mich!



hahaha Kroopz soooo sorrry :)


Hey Niti great to see u again :)



Hey Cali_girl WC :)

**If you're conceited enough to write that, your dream girl may not exist!

LOL I know...poor blokes na :)




Hey Terry :)

** so many unique individuals, all looking for love

Well-said! that's so true. We r all different but all looking for that same thing called Love...wonderfully stated Terry thanks!



Hey Drywall!

**I can see now why they are still single.

lol hahaha! And oh yeah, their expectations r pretty stupid...lol!




Hey Vivhyd...
yes yes we might end up doing that too..who knows...but it's not advertising on the net that we r laughing at...hehe...it's the way they have expressed thenselves..the unrealistic expectations etc :)




lol Cheesy...hey thanks for liking mah profile pic :) but z000nie doesnt like it :(


Ahoyyy Sittingnut :)



lol Dawn...most of em say they were real...anyways they r sooo funny :) aww thanks for liking mah profile pic :) woohoo Dawny likes it too yeyyyyy!



Sherri WC!
lollz yeah I wonder what that normal color is...haha!



Hey Katie glad u liked em :)




WC Pecos :)

**you gotta hope there is someone out there for all these people

ROFL!!!!!



Hey m000nie LOL glad to see u laughing so much...kekekekeke :)



Halloooo South :)




Sonia :)

**and tulsi and parvati?? who the hell r they?

LOLLLLLLLZ! I dunno wh othey r either...hahaha!




Hey Niki :) glad u like em...lolz!



Icyyyyyyyyyyyyyy muahhhhhhhhhhhhh WC! I'm so glad to see u here and I'm glad u liked the jokes :) HUGGGGGZ!



Hey v000nie lol!



h000gie glad u liked em too :)




Suga lolllllllz!



Hi again m000nie...lol awww...

**but see where we in india r stuck???

HAHAHAAAAAAAAA! :):) ur making me laugh like a nut case now LOL!


Thanks all!
Keshi.

Keshi said...

Anonymous ass/ITCC,

I have no time for faceless asses like u...u can vent out ur frustrations forever w.o. going anywhere in life...not my loss...it's always ur's :)


actually these guys who posted these ads sound alot better than u...they may not know their English (which is the same in ur case too) or their expectations may be a bit unrealistic, but they r human, whereas ur a disgusting net-fool who puts mud on ur own face every single day...I do feel sorry for u alot of the times cos u seem quite lost. Chances r u'll never recover.

Keshi.

Jim said...

IT SEE SEE

i told u
u wud get it

and u gott yr ass spanked real good
happy?

Jim said...

i new she wudnt sew
she just tore yr ass wide apart



hehehehehe ...

Jim said...

now where is TIGERR hiding?

Jim said...

ICEYYYYYYYYY

ur a sight for any eye
not just sore eyes

Arun Gopalan said...

:) have read this in a fwd mail!

Keshi said...

Hey Mediocre :)




Hellooooooo Caraf huggggz!

** 'testing hiv negative since feb 1999'

hahaha OMG! Some crazy ppl out there na lol!


Keshi.

Tarun said...

Looks like someone made these things...don't think it could be real in whole. Or someone posted in some Free Online metrimonial site just for Fun.

Keshi said...

lol mebbe Tarun...but they r funny nah..

Keshi.