Just Shoot Me!

Have you ever come across people running really low on cranium? I mean people who hold a much higher Dumbness factor than yourself? I meet such people on a daily basis. It has happened too many times I feel I'm the most intelligent being on Earth! ;-) ok jokes apart, what do you do with such severely cranium-deficient people? I have no idea myself but most of the time I seem to handle them in a way that don't cause post-traumatic stress to me (maybe I'm immune to it by now). But I die a sudden and brief death from such dorky run-ins that leave scars somehow. Now here are some moronic encounters with some Moronicas from Keshi's diary:

A No-Frills Brain

**One day I was shopping in a Myer store and I suddenly meet a specimen of my immediate-wrath-about-to-ignite. He's a friend's friend and we have met before. He goes 'I think I know you...do you know me?'. ***Keshi is about to pass out due to severe trauma that was caused by that sentence***. OK I may know you but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't know me anymore even if you knew me before, cos right now it seems like you walked out of a Buy-one-get-one-free Psycho Conditions store...it's that massive mate! I didn't really say that to him but in my head I was so disturbed by that question I wanted to throw up! Do people really ask that kinda question, I think I know you...do you know me? What does he think I'm - that I just stepped out of a mental goodies warehouse like he seems to have!

A Brain-In-Training
**Another day I was cooking at home, and my cousin (not really dumb but can be dumb at times) walks in to the kitchen and switches off the stove. HUH? Did I even witness that? Worse, I kept on cooking! 2 seconds later, my brain told me about what he had just done. So I turn to him and ask 'Why did you switch it off when I'm still cooking?'. He goes 'Cos we are going out tonite'. Wow my dear brother, so we are going out tonight which is still some hours away, and I have to leave the chicken half-cooked on the stove-top, just like how your brain is half-functioning right now? I don't think so Timmy! Cmon add your brain into the cooking..it needs some defrosting for all I know!

Powerful Brain Repellent
**I have a friend who is an Internet user but don't know much about computers...to be precise, she doesn't know about computer Viruses etc. No probs there, cos alot of people don't know much techie stuff unless they work in the IT industry. But a terrifying discovery took place when she asked me this bizzare question one day. 'Keshi I want to protect my PC from viruses...what do I have to do...should I spray disinfectants on it?'. OK that's enough my friend...plug it off and take it back to the vendor please. That way the PC will remain sane too! Cos my brain died a violent psychotic death for a minute or 2, right after that question from her!

A Brain Ride
**One night I was just sitting on the couch sipping coffee, thinking how beautiful life is. Not for too long, cos 5mins later I got a deadly phone call that sent me on a shock spiral staircase! A friend of mine rang me to find out what the time was! WTF?? Where was she ringing from - from Mars? I mean cmon, did she have to ring me to find out the time provided she was still on this planet? Worse she was ringing from her mobile phone which probably has a clock ***rolling eyes and it wont stop***. No she wasnt trashed or on drugs, neither was she coming back to life after a deep coma or from a scene from the movie Castaway. However, I'd like to believe that she probably was in the middle of a brain transplant!

Brain Drain
**My mum's bday is on the 28th of June. All her friends know it and have been wishing her every year on her bday. Let's call my mum J. One Sunday in March this year, we went out to a party and came home to find a message on the Answering machine. It was from one of her closest friends R. I put it on speaker and it went like this: 'Hey J it's R here. HAPPY BIRTHDAY sweetie!'. I felt like I was listening to that message while being electrocuted! This must be my rebirth cos I didn't know my mum's bday was in March!! Or is this our house that I'm checking messages from? I looked to see if it's the correct house...yes that's our dining table, that's my photo - yes it was our house AMEN! So it was my friend's mum who was probably going low on her brain's battery power...not me!

Brain Killers
**One day I was walking down the street and I see this young guy trying to take a new couch into his house. The couch is wider than his main door, but who asked him to take it in horizontally? I saw him standing there, staring at the door like he was wishing the door was wider awww. How about trying to take it in vertically brother? If that thought don't get developed by your grey matter, then throw a bomb and break the door so it would be wider? Even better, buy a new house with a wider door cos you'd feel smater then. And that way I don't have to die a slow and painful death watching you either!

Brain Brain Go Away!
**Have you noticed some people wearing sunnies at night/indoors? Sunnies hello! Have you noticed some people getting out of the train just when the train doors are closing? Do they have a deep sexual fantasy for getting caught between the doors and suffocating - asphyxiation anyone? Have you noticed some people walking down the street not allowing anyone else to share the road? Do they think the road is their bathroom? Have you noticed some people talk/laugh so loud in a hospital with no concern for patients? I think they are the real patients. A cranium-refill is in order. And witnessing such people has already attained me Nirvana...Loka Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu (May all the beings in all the worlds be happy), amen!

Share with me some super-dumb encounters in your life.


Current Music: I Want To Break Free by Queen