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Warning: Images in this post may upset some viewers!

Just yesterday one of my colleagues (my manager) who I have worked with for years had a little talk with me. He said he had some bad news, so he pulled up a pew, sat next to me and told me the most shocking piece of news that sent me into a very sad mood for the whole day. He said 'Keshi I have Cancer... ... ...was diagnosed last week and I'll be away from work for some time from the end of this month... ... ...'. What do you do when someone so close to you, someone who you have worked with for years and have loved and respected as a co-worker says this to you? I was totally saddened and at a loss for words cos I almost felt like my brother/dad saying that to me. Keshi at a loss for words? Can't be right? But yeah, I was totally grief-stricken by the news, I told him this 'I'm really sorry to hear that H, and I really don't know how to react...'. Cos seriously I wasn't prepared to hear that H would ever be sick like that! H is a very smart, outgoing, positive, bold, brave, totally funny, decent and caring humanbeing. As my immediate boss, he was more of a friend to me than a boss. We worked on alot of projects together over the years and we managed them all superbly...but I give that credit to H's brilliance and his skills in managing people and work on a humane yet professional level. He is the best I tell ya! So now he's got Cancer..at a young age, and with a wife and 2 teenage kids. This is where his life becomes a major turning point. He also told me 'It's a problem, I said to myself just GET IT FIXED'...and he smiled. Now how positive is that? I admire his courage and strength! The way he is, he's handling it quite well..though inside he must be dying a thousand deaths. Later I sent him an email telling him how I really felt about it and that I'd be there for him and his family anytime they need me. He was very glad to know that and thanked me for it, and later we cracked some jokes too. I think he felt alot better after talking about it.

Point is...now what? Life can throw shit on ya, tough battles to fight, sleepless nights, unclear paths, walls of stone in your way, unbreakable barriers, raging waves of pain...no matter what it's best to tell someone...best to confide in people you trust and know who'd understand ya...if you don't have someome like that, atleast talk to yourself. It takes a load off your mind and that helps. Talk, confide, speak up, convey, scream, be heard, cry, let it all out! I see alot of pain and suffering in Blogville...I sense alot of people sob in silence, bottling it all up. Through their words, I can sense their deep misery...their lonely battles. Through those wide smiles, I can see their tears...their untold stories. Cos I've been there too and I'm riding the deadly waves too...every single day. We all have our cross to bear. So this post is to let it all out. I'm gonna allow Anonymous comments only for this post so people can spill it all out in Anonymous form if they wish to (you can use you usual Blog IDs too, if your confident enough to say it in the open). And we can help (advise) each other in Anonymous form too. I'm taking part too. And don't worry, no one will know who you are if you're in Anonymous form, not even me. Are you lonely, angry, sad, suicidal, depressed, bored, hurt? Listen to the silence....see what it's trying to say and say it loud. Confide in each other, tell us what's making you sad, share with us your story, your secret suffering, your gulity feelings, your haunting past, your fears...convey what your heart is trying to say, give a voice to your unquiet mind, confide in each other and set yourselves free. Please note that you don't HAVE to be suicidal to take part in this post. Just share with us about anything that bothers you. I may not be a shrink but I may know how you feel, and that may truly release you. So should I offer some assistance? Confidentiality and satisfaction guaranteed! Dial now, speak, be heard and be relieved!

~~In loving memory of Dan, who committed suicide few years ago in the month of May. He was 24yrs old, an IT professional, a wonderful friend and a loving son. Dan I'm sorry I didn't have a clue that you hit a deadend. You should have shared it with me and together we could have turned it all around for ya. Miss ya mate!


Note: Please feel free to email Solitaire (check link) for professional advice, and read her current post on diagnosing depression here.

Current Music: Confide In Me by Kylie Minogue