Illogical Eulogical Greetings!

Disclaimer: Please note that this post does not intend to ridicule any dead person. This post was based purely on the humorous side of death.


The other day, a friend of mine was telling us how someone who attended her Granma's Funeral had told her this after shaking hands with her and smiling:

"Keep it up!"

huh? I thought this was a Funeral, not a Graduation. When someone just received a one-way ticket to heaven, the last thing you should say to their loved-ones is 'Keep it up'. LOL! How often do we say the wrong thing at the wrong time/occasion? Some people don't know what to say...some people are clueless when it comes to expressing how they feel. That's really ok, but it's best to keep silent then. I have always believed that if there's nothing to say or if you don't know what to say, it's best to keep quiet. 'Keep it up' at a Funeral? I laughed so hard! It's as if my friend killed her granma and that she's being commended for it :). So here are some very odd/abnormal/wrong things that can be said if you're not willing to keep silent, when in doubt or are clueless:


At a Funeral, to the family:

*Congratulations!

*He'll be pretty LATE for the next GNR concert *The Late Mr.James*
*Sexy coffin ooh lala!
*Can I bring a Date for the Wake? *winks*
*o man crap flowers!
*Death can be expensive WOW!
*Who 'killed' him? Sorry, I mean 'what' happened?
*Do you have a Michael Jackson CD? *does the MJ crotch-move*
*Didn't he write a Will? bastard!
*OMG he seems to be breathing?? *trembles while biting ur nails*
*There's a discounted Crematorium that I know of...

*Can I take these flowers home afterwards, cos it's my friend's bday
*Thank God it happened this week cos next week I'm away phewww!
*I looked for flowers but couldn't get a $2 deal *mumbles swear words*
*Can I skip the Service and come back for Tea and bikkies?
*His trousers seem a little short..not that it matters anymore hehe *smiles, frowns, smiles*
*It's logical to be Eulogical at this time haha! *urrgggg!*
*She looks a little blue in the face *touches and sniffs*

*How long did he camp at the Mortuary?
*I wonder if the Embalming was a hot experience?
*Is there gonna be any kind of Dancing? *does a lil booty shake, smiles, gets serious*
*Bullshit! *during the Eulogy*
*I got some Popcorn and Coke to keep us busy *munch, munch, gulp, munch*
*I wanna sign my name on the Coffin
*I'm bored, when is this gonna finish? *makes a highly annoyed face*

*Wonder if he ever found out about our secret nookaaay! *whispers to the wife's ears*
*Can I borrow his car now that he's dead?
*I wonder who's gonna be next *looking around the room with quizzical brows*
*He's 95yrs old? Wow then he asked for it, didn't he! *and serves spearmints*
*Did you inform Centrelink - they'll pay for petrol expenses
*In Life he just bludged big time, I wonder if Death will cure it *rolling eyes*
*Anyone want KFC?
*I wanted to wear my best clothes but hey what the heck he's not gonna hit on me anymore, is he!


Feel free to add to this notorious list...let it RIP! Today, I just wanna laugh people. And I know that one day, even as I'm dying, I'll be laughing my ass off...or maybe I'll die laughing? LOL! See what I mean. :)



off topic: btw yesterday was my sis' bday. And I ordered these exact same arrangement of 24 long-stemmed pink roses from Roses Only and got it delivered to her office today. She rang me just now to tell me how much she loved them. Arent they gorgeous! Flowers keep you alive...stop to look at and smell 'em when you can. And my mum was telling me I'm wasting money :(. Now she's being real motherish! *rolling eyes*. Do you think it's a waste to make someone happy with such beautiful things? Once in a while we have to do sweet things like this to let our loved-ones know how much they are appreciated in our lives. When words don't come easy and deeds are a few, expressions can mean alot. Money is not important...gestures are. I dedicate this song to my sis...she has helped me unconditionally when I needed her the most, without saying a word...we've had our many ups and downs, fights and arguments...but at the end of the day, she's my sister and I'm her's...and we are always there for each other no matter what...sisters have a special bond that can never die...and I know that I can always count on her like she can count on me...so, my sis, even at the cost of my life (if it ever came to that), I'll protect ya and help you keep smiling. LOVE n HUGS always! *damn it I'm crying now!*


Now don't forget the first part of the post. Have a good day guys!


Current Music: When You Say Nothing At All by Ronan Keating