Matrimonially Your's

Remember the Marriage-frenzied Aunt who asked me for a BIO-DATA from 2 posts down? Well here's one that I prepared for her to put through to her large Eligible 'Sri Lankan/Indian' Men's Database. Let's hope sweet Aunty B will find a nice hot curry guy for me through this BIO-DATA ok. Remember this one is made especially for Sri Lankan/Desi applicants. Here it is:



Contact Details

Name: Keshi

Sex: Preferably on Saturday nights

Age: How 'young' do you want it?

Complexion: Fair n Lovely is not my cuppa!

Virgin: Flew to Melbourne in it

Company: Anytime!

Title: Destroyer of big fat Male egos

Address: keshigirl.blogspot.com

Caste: Human *did u meet monkeys before?*

Religion: Blogging

Phone: 1800-dial-a-maniac

Email: iwontcookncleansobuzzoff@hotFEmail.com



Educational Background

Bachelorette in Singletrics
Mistress in Bedology
Doctor of Flirt-Aid
Certified Wedding Killer
MS Certified Underwear Engineer *I love lingerie*


Experience

Keshi has alot of experience with delusional men, mostly perverts and oglers, who nearly got fatally hit on the head by her *they required that to get cured*. She also had a couple of boyfriends who she has kissed *surprised? no I'm not the innocent country girl waiting for the first night to be touched by a dickhead*. She can cook and clean but won't do it just cos a man would want her to do it *go get your own nanny*. She's pretty independent and hates being mollycoddled *slap! ewww get off my back, I CAN lookafter myself*. She has never been married before but often thought of divorce *go figure!*. She has her own car so keep your 'cart' to yourself *stop flashing your dad's 1949 model*. Money, she's got enough to keep her happy *go buy a new pair of jocks maybe? I don't need your credit-cards ok!*. Mother-in-law will be treated nicely as long as she knows how to be nice herself. And if the guy is still clinging on to his momma's saree, then please stop reading this, go marry your mother. Can I sing and dance? yes, when I'm drunk beyond recognition *I love Vodka and Gin n tonic*. btw I wear short skirts, shorts, skinny tops, boob-tubes, halter necks and also the saree...the choice in MINE ok, so back off. I can be a very good listener but I can't stand listening to crap *so cut it even before you start*. Post-marriage, my life, individuality or personality won't change one bit *so don't have any dumb hopes of it..blogging won't stop either*. And I refuse to wear grossly thick gold jewellery around my neck and on my nose etc just to show that I'm married *never thought that looking like a cow was a fashion!*. I'm a fitness fanatic and if you start getting a huge belly and don't exercise, I'll send you for cruel near-fatal surgery. Also, I worked all my life and I will continue working til the day I die *you can try to stop me and you'll meet your maker*. Ogling at other girls will not be tolerated...if there's a need to get laid, do it now! *or else be prepared to be sent to Gay bars on a weekly basis or have your face re-arranged*. Womanisers will be shot on the spot. Drama queens will be prosecuted. Morons will be chucked outta the house without notice.


Responsibilities

What's that? oh, so you're looking for a long-term Caretaker to wash your clothes and do the dishes...ok, go get a washing machine and a dishwasher - they are quite responsible! For sex, buy a life-size blowup doll...they are responsible and won't nag either.

Photo is attached...if you can handle the heat, apply straight away with a blood-test report *incase you have keshicocolmania* and a recent photo *not one that's taken 10yrs ago when you were slimmer* and be prepared to bear the tidal wave that's about to hit ya. Men here, please write a reply to this Biodata in the comment section (ask any questions or write your details in a reply etc etc...be creative and funny)...let's have some fun! So, anyone wanna take a chance on me? ;-)

I know, after reading this Aunty B will be walking around chanting 'om shanti shanti why did this happen to me!!' or she will be in Rehab going for major psychotherapy!



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