A Thousand Miles From Yesterday...

Do you ever get lonely like I do, even when you're with people? Do you ever feel that you'll never be pristinely happy again, like you were in your childhood? Do you ever cry like I do, and not know why? Do you ever sit all alone at night and think about me, like I think about you? Do you ever feel that no one understands you? Do you ever feel that you're the only one going through this pain? Do you ever feel that everything and everyone is so fragile? Do you ever feel that all of this is such a drag? Do you ever feel that you'll never find someone who can just accept you unconditionally? Do you ever pick up the phone many times and then don't feel like calling, just cos you realise that it won't make a difference? Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and lay awake til dawn? Do you ever think about all those names in your phone-book and feel so empty? Do you ever get numb and speechless from that loneliness, like I do?

I packed my bags, said goodye to the past and drove all those miles in life just to find myself all alone again, in a distant empty hotel room, thousands of miles from yesterday, and thousands of miles from tomorrow. What's gone is gone for good...what's to come is out of reach. All I have is today and today I'm feeling lonely, and it's nothing new...and it's fast becoming a part of my life and something that I seem to like. Did relationships kill my passion for people? I never ever thought I'd say I wanna be alone, cos in the past I was always with people craving for company, but it looks like loneliness has become me and I have become loneliness. That's right, I'm not the girl I used to be. Yes, I'm a thousand miles from yesterday...strange how life takes you from one place to another, molding your heart and soul into a completely different shape with time and experiences...yes, I'm a thousand miles from yesterday and I don't wanna drive back either...


Note: This is not a post to gain sympathy or to say I need more friends(/a partner) in my life. Been there, done that and I've got plenty of experience with people. This post is about how I truly feel right now about my life, and I'd like you to see it for what it is and not confuse it with how life SHOULD be...cos, this IS my life. Thanks.


Current Music: Lonely by Shannon Noll