For Chrizt's Sake!

Ahoy! Remember my hot new flatmate Chriz? Well finally here is that joint post that I promised to do with Chriz. A certain scenario was given by me to Chriz, and all he had to do was come up with his own post on it, and then I wrote my own one too. He did a wonderful job and I wanna thank him for being such a great sport - Thanks Chriz you rock! It was really great doing this post with ya. I hope you'll find my post equally enjoyable Chriz ;-). So folks, sit back, relax and enjoy!


Chriz and Keshi have been happily sharing Keshi's house together *as you can see from this pic!* for a couple of weeks now. Nothing's changed about the house *cos Keshi always has it her way...poor Chriz has no choice there*, they even share their weekly chores of cooking, cleaning etc *Chriz nearly burned down the house once trying to cook but thanks to the hunky firemen Keshi didn't lose her cool, she actually didn't wanna stop the fire*, they share grocery bills as well *Keshi nearly went broke with Chriz's massive appetite, so now she's put him on a diet - 1 meal per day* and yes, so far they are doing alright. And one fine day, guess what happens as Chriz was on the net? What happened follows...first narration is by Chriz, and my account of it all comes after that.



The Chriz Zone!

I finally moved in with Keshi. It was 7 pm. The place was big and warm and Keshi was big and hot. I stood there like a kindergarten kid, knowing not what to do. Keshi had eyelashes that looked like a chicken’s feather. She looked like Gabriella Sabatini. No one was around. It was just me and Keshi. She walked towards me. I could feel the fragrance reaching me. We were facing each other. When two hot people stand very close to each other one could expect fireworks. Yes, Keshi found it too. It wasn’t just fireworks. It was a killer-silent bomb. The first word she spoke to me was, “Hey chrissy boy! Something wrong with your tummy?” I didn't say anything. She gave me directions to the loo.

I soon freshened up and got ready for the romantic dinner. We had a romantic dinner. The table separated Keshi and me by 4 feet.The dinner was over and we moved to the drawing room. Keshi got comfortable in the couch and I sat on the chair. Suddenly Keshi became romantic and asked me to sit on the couch. The moment I parked my bum on the couch, Keshi switched off the TV and left the place. She went inside her room and went to sleep. I slept off too. I couldn’t sleep properly.

I woke up and switched on my computer and opened my Yahoo messenger. None of my friends were online. Suddenly a chat-box popped up.

GOD: Hi Creation!

*I looked at it for some time and wasn’t interested to chat and hence closed the box. Again the same chat box popped up*

GOD: Why did you close the chat box?

“How did he come to know that I closed the chat box?”, I thought to myself. Again I closed the chat box. Again there was a message from him

GOD: Don’t scratch your butt. Your body is my temple

*What? How did he come to know that I was scratching my butt? I got scared and I sent a reply*

Iamthegururdadwarnedyouabout: Who are you?
GOD: I am what I am.
Iamthegururdadwarnedyouabout: ASL please
GOD: Infinity/Gmale/Multilingual
Iamthegururdadwarnedyouabout: What is Gmale?
GOD: I am God and that is my gender
Iamthegururdadwarnedyouabout: hahaha!
GOD: laugh out loud now. When you go to hell, I'll be laughing!

*I was now quite scared *

Iamthegururdadwarnedyouabout: Prove to me that you are God. Just tell me some things about me that nobody else knows
GOD: Are you testing me?
Iamthegururdadwarnedyouabout: Yes! You can call it that way. How else would I know?
GOD: You were a bed-wetter till you were 12
Iamthegururdadwarnedyouabout: But everyone knows that and that’s not a secret
GOD: You smoked weed in college
Iamthegururdadwarnedyouabout: My friends know that. You are beating around the bush buddy. Who are you?
GOD: You came here to stay with Keshi with dreams of some kinky-hot-steamy *ahem ahem* you know what don't ya?
Iamthegururdadwarnedyouabout: Well! Men are from mars! They say! But I can curb my instincts.
GOD: ok! You watched your first porn movie when you were 10 years old
Iamthegururdadwarnedyouabout: Oh ma Gawd! How did you know that?
GOD: You lost your virginity when you were 18
Iamthegururdadwarnedyouabout: Go hang! You liar! I am a 27 year old unlucky virgin. Are you just simply guessing?
GOD: haha! I just wanted to hear it from you, cos you have confused me a lot by telling a bunch of lies in your blog
Iamthegururdadwarnedyouabout: Ok now tell me one thing! Why do you want to chat with me?
GOD: I saw you all alone on this couch and hence came here to give you some tips on how to make this Stay with Keshi a Hot and spicy one!
Iamthegururdadwarnedyouabout: But God! Why are you speaking like this?
GOD: Oh ! That is my alter ego!Iamthegururdadwarnedyouabout: Ok what are you planning to do now?
GOD: I will wake up keshi and will chat with her and then I’ll invite her on a conference chat with you.
Iamthegururdadwarnedyouabout: Ok God! I’ll stay online and wait for the conference chat...


And so Chriz falls asleep on the keyboard, his head heavily pressed on the 'Enter' key, saliva coming out of the corners of his mouth and snoring as loud as a lion on starvation. Keshi was fast asleep on her comfy bed and never came on Chat that night. *no, not even God can rob Keshi of her sleep!*



The Keshi Haven!

Since Keshi didn't chat online that night God decides to pay a visit to 7, Sunshine Street, Keshiville. Yes, in *divine* person Himself.

So God arrives in his hot new Ferrari and screeched in front of Keshi's driveway...His car music was 'I like to move it move it!' and He was doing the jiggy *in Will Smith style* while getting out of the car. He wore Gucci glasses, black denims and a white T with 'Guess who's single?' written across it. God walks into Keshi's room straight away and rolls his eyes after finding Keshi dancing like a maniac. Keshi was surprised to see a Billy-Joel-Wannabe standing next to her...so she stopped dancing, turned the volume down and she rolled her eyes too as she spotted this guy looking in the mirror and fixing his salt n pepper hair.


Keshi: Who are ya Mr.Single-But-So-Not-My-Kind?
God: Mr.Go...r...don! *winks at Keshi while chewing gum*
Keshi: No you don't look like Gordon Ramsay either...so stop trying.
God: *pokes his tongue out at Keshi* I'm God for God's sakes, OMG I'm God!
Keshi: God? WOW I so believe ya *laughs an o-gimme-a-break kinda laugh* ok Mr.God-wannabe serial offender who walks into my house, let me call the Police then *and she dials 000 wondering if this was Chriz himself dressed as God in a desperate attempt to woo her back into giving him 3 meals a day!*

Just then God instantly changed into a 6-handed Avatar of Himself, and sweet tabla music plays at the back with 'Om Shanti' chantings heard from afar. Keshi nearly faints, later regains consciousness, calms herself down and talks to God...

Keshi: Ok I won't call the cops but you didn't have to pull out 6 hands just to stop me dude, that was kinda sick! *rolling eyes* btw why do you need 6 hands when even 2 hands can't do much these days?

God: *is silent for a while, juggling pretty colored balls using all His 6 hands, showing off to Keshi*
Keshi: ok so you're God...but why are you here? There are so many other people who need you more than I do. Trying to get you to appear is as hard as finding a plumber on a Sunday!
God: I just felt like checking what's going on with you and Chriz...I feel you need some divine intervention, especially with Chriz in your house now. btw Keshi could you PLEASE stop expecting me to solve every problem on Earth cos I myself am confused by so many prayer requests! Man I need a DB system to handle all the requests...can you code one for me?
Keshi: Chriz is great, a lil underwear-obsessed but he sings and plays the guitar beautifully, so I can cope. We're doing fine. And No I wont code anything for ya...I hate C#!
God: ok can I use your toilet? btw in Heaven we call it G#. G for God u see nenenenene....
Keshi: duh! ok use Chriz's toilet since your a male..are you a male?
God: I'm male and female...I'm every humanbeing
Keshi: Sorry I don't have a Unisex toilet in this house!

God heads to Chriz's loo and finds wet towels and red undies all over the floor. God gets dizzy, does his business very quickly and walks out thinking what the hell is wrong with Chriz!

God: Keshi how do you handle this maniac in your house?
Keshi: I don't need to 'handle' him, cos I'm a maniac myself..he's only a 'fraction' different to me...by body parts I mean.
God: *laughs His supreme ass off* In all these millions of years of experience in my job, I have never come across mega wackos like you 2! *rolls on the floor laughing His butt off*
Keshi: Remember you designed us...we know it's full of flaws...it should be pretty evident to you by now! *yawns*
God: I know...I'm just a rookie...will ask more about you 2 from my Dad. Now let me go blog about my flawed designs...
Keshi: You have a blog? WOW! Gimme the address plz...pretty plz!
God: Keshi I'm not gay...stop calling me pretty! I know you're a blog maniac too...I read your blog and it's full of shit...
Keshi: haha that's true man that' s true. hey gimme the blog addy wont ya?
God: eatmyshorts.blogspot.com
Keshi: So what do you blog about in general?
God: Crap ya know...just like you aha!
Keshi: Then I'll be your devoted reader from now on...cos In Crap We Find True Joy!
God: Keshi babez hey I gtg now...my thousands of readers are waiting for my next blog post and Chriz may still be waiting for me to log back in for a confy chat. Will you join Chriz and me tonight online plz pleeeeeeease??? *bends down and hugs Keshi's legs*
Keshi: Sure...but please let go of my legs...it looks a lil silly when God does that.
God: ok ok...btw do you shave or wax?
Keshi: duh I knew God was a male!

God: Lastly, tell me your future plans...

Keshi: *goes on and on with her future PLANS*

God: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! haaaaaaaaa ha! Haaaaa hahahaha haaaaaa!

Keshi realised one thing from this rude but sweet guy's visit. You wanna make God laugh? Tell him your PLANS! Anyways, God winks and leaves 7, Sunshine Street, Keshiville in his hot Ferrari...Keshi stares at the car that disappears into the far horizon and smiles. Suddenly Keshi hears a loud conversation in the Kitchen with heavy laughter and all! She runs to the kitchen to see what was going on...Chriz had just woken up and had started chatting on the Microwave thinking that that was his laptop! Yeah we are all God's unique designs..if not for our many differences, this world will be so dull, and will miss the hilarious kitchen conversations in red undies!

Current Music: Living Next Door To Alice by Smokie