Bloke Talk

Ok my office guys were really sweet, 10 of them (all Aussies), and just 2 chicks (myself and one other Aussie girl). The night-out was fantastic! A little bit of Vodka and great mates, made me feel relaxed and happy. And you too...for all the kind words you left for me in the last post...they REALLY helped. And Darsh thanks tons for your caring txt msgs! You have no idea how awesome I feel every morning reading all your comments here...it feels like the fairies have visited me overnight and left gold-dustish trails for me to revel in. Thank you so much for being in my life, you guys just rock!

Few friends here wanted to know how the Drinks went - the details and all. Well, we met up with some ex-workmates of our company as well...so I got to meet some guys whom I haven't seen in yonks. That was the highlight of the evening. There used to be an Irish guy who worked with us who left our company few years ago...he came along as well and I was really thrilled to see him. Cos I really like this guy...he's so very funny, every word he speaks makes you wanna ROFL, and he's a very smart guy too. There was another ex-workmate who I used to be in love with (one-sided love alert!). He has the most amazing blue eyes I have ever seen! He came along too and I was just jaw-dropped all night long, my tongue wagging that way and drooling heavily, and then I got so annoyed with myself etc etc Keshi o behave! So we all chatted and laughed and caught up with each others' lives. The only other chick who was present was also an ex-workmate and she told us that she recently got married...in Hawaii too, now that's just WAAAWW isnt it! She then asked about my love life and I was speechless for a while and then I just laughed. Anyways guess what the first topic one smart dude started on...guess? guess? Well it was about ex-partners. I was like 'you mofo you had to bring that up' in my head. He started telling us about a recent incident where he ran into his ex and wanted to dig a hole and disappear (he must have done evil things to her oooo!). I swear I didn't mention my story to anyone and I was wondering where this topic was coming from hmmmm. Tys I was thinking of your comment just then...:). Anyways, I kept quiet and then the topic changed to recent Aus politics, and then to work, old bosses, Xmas, IBM, office gos etc etc. Anyways, thank God the Bon-Jovi lookalike didn't turn up cos if he did, I'd have passed out without even having to drink! btw I didn't drink past 2 glasses of Vodka..that's me. I don't like to drink alot, neither can I take in alot. Tipsy runs naturally in my blood you see (no surprises there!). All in all the night was just so refreshing, I had a very good time.

Now there is this single guy in my office (recently turned single cos he went through a divorce last year after a brief marriage), who seems to like me alot. He too came along last night. I know he's a good mate but he tends to pass hints at me...hints that suggest he likes me alot and hints that seem to indirectly ask if there's any chance of a date with him on my radar **rolling eyes**. I quite conveniently play dumb with his hints hehe, not to hurt him or not cos I don't like him, but simply cos we work together and I don't wanna date someone from work. I'm not the office-flirt kinda girl. Also, it'll mess up alot of things and worse, I don't wanna go home tell my mum I'm seeing a divorced guy...she'll faint and never really recover LOL! Don't get me wrong, my mum is a very broad-minded woman...she doesn't judge people based on failed relationships. Actually it's not even my mum, I think it's me. I think I've become a closed personality when it comes to love. And I have a subtle fear of divorced men...don't anyone have that fear initially? I mean, especially if you have never been married before, you do tend to think that someone who got a divorce would be alot harder to push yourself to start dating. Am I wrong? I don't know...there's this psychological barrier that sort of stops you from thinking about someone who's got a recent divorce, as a potential partner. It makes you wonder about all the WHYs of the divorce and whether he's being honest with what he's saying etc. But that doesn't mean he's a bad a guy, no ways...this dude is a genius in our office, and is a very sweet and decent bloke and a wonderful friend. I used to know his ex-wife too...she used to come around for office drinks/parties. They are both very sweet people, so I don't understand why they broke up, but what he told me was that she got bored with him. Just like that? hmmm...do people get divorced just cos they get bored with each other? LOL sounds funny doesn't it? I don't judge anyone from their past relationships either, but a divorce does worry me a bit...not that I don't make mistakes myself but there's something that stops me from forgetting that he just got a divorce...WHY or WHY! It probably isn't even him. It may be cos I'm so used to being single now running around wild and cooking in my knickers...maybe I don't wanna date anyone anymore...I really don't know! So amidst vague romantic signalling from him, Keshi refuses to give him the green light. She's at an eternal red, cos she thinks why start something that doesn't bring out the 'right' feelings in her...atleast not yet. Am I a narrow-minded cow? Am I a selfish 'spoilt princess' of this modern era? Am I really being a wuss here? Am I a total jerkette? Am I a completely lost and confused bimbo? You tell me. Be honest ok!

And yeah, since he lives closer to me and we are on the same train line, when I was getting ready to go home after Drinks, he very politely asked me if I'd like to have some company on the way back home. I said no probs at all cos he's a decent guy, and he didn't have more than 3 drinks so it was safe to have him around - he could be my bodyguard too hehe. And as I was saying my goodbyes to everyone, he put his right arm gently around my shoulder and told his other mate, we are getting married you know. HUH I didnt know that jebus! :) He said that just for fun, I know. But I think that was also another hint...another one of those indirect messages. Am I a cold-hearted bitch who don't give a good guy a chance? Is that why I'm eternally looking for love? Am I so used to being that single diva for so long that I ignore love-signals by my own choice? Am I looking for something that don't exist? Am I gonna end up as a wrinkly old saggy-boobed 109yr old still-single granma still trying to fit into Victoria's Secret goodies that no one wiill ever see? Or am I just desperate for some loving? You tell me.

Have a good one guys!

Current Music: Boys In Town by Divinyls