Confessions Of An Archaeological G-String...

WARNING: Long post ahead. Read it before the expiry date!

Love That's Become A Tyrannosaurus Rex!
Boy o boy there were some haunting orgasmic screams from the dingy depths of the Love cemetery, in that last post! Thanks to all of you smart and witty readers of my blog *not to mention sex-starved beyond recognition* I laughed so much in the last 2 days reading all your clever comments! If you read some of the whacky and brilliant one-liners in the comment section of that last post, you'll know what I mean. Fossiled confessions of prehistoric sexual encounters that haunt you like ghosts from the B.C era can be a laughing matter if taken lightly and not grieved upon as a mutation of the LOVE gene *Libido is expired alright but I still love shoes!*. Cos there are so many of us suffering from that 'genetic' condition btw *you're so not alone..rolling eyes*. I guess that's cos Lust is cheap but Love is priceless *that's a leaf out of Keshi's Love Life which is now an Archaeological site btw*. And while Ki reckons it's been so long that she cannot even remember how/when her Virginity grew back, Div has even forgotten how to fake it *I don't even remember if there's anything called faking it*. And Hemz don't even remember who it was while Rakesh can't remember what LOVE is *is that what happens to 30+ folks?*. Margie on the other hand is busy making mashed potatoes & gravy thinking that's what it's all about *we understand that kinda memory loss, it's ok babygirl*. Deepz thinks missionary is catholic *and I suppose fellatio is an icecream?*. And Sawan don't even remember what he forgot while Mayz don't know anymore what it looks like down there *we girls have an upper section too don't we? can someone confirm that plz cos I can't remember*. So, it seems like many of us are living in the Ethiopia of Love, where sexual hunger rules and we don't even remember if certain bodily organs exist anymore! BUT, don't lose hope my fellow sensually-mutilating dinosaurs! Cos I came across sir Prabir who apparently gives LASTING lectures *with practicals I suppose* on this matter, and have offered to help those who can't get it up, oops I mean those who can't get it on *I suppose he meant the Condom here?*...Tarun now there's some 'condomiraculous' hope, just hang in there mate. So contact sir Prabir if you wanna check out from the museum of Love for good and get rid all those cobwebs on your body! *ewww*


The X Factor

Alright, now I know you're all waiting to know who my hot new flatmate is? Righteo so let's get down to it. The magic number X is...*drum roll*...5! 5 for 5 fingers that haven't felt anything in a long time, if you know what I mean. *sorry, finger-licking good KFC don't count*. At first I thought of 69 but when Bev confused me with a 96 I totally forgot what 69 was LOL! And so, the valid comment #5 was cleverly entered by ... ... ... THE amazing porcupine-pricked-pink-all-over Chriz!! Congrattz Chriz and welcome to my online home! *see pic of Chriz above with his guitar* You my dear, get to share my blog space with me for 1 whole post :). Yes, you're my current flatmate! I really pity ya though cos you're gonna have to live with a maniac - all the best. *btw I've labelled my cruisers in the fridge, so don't touch em and oii dry your red undies elsewhere please, not on my couch!*. So, as the owner of this blog, I'm gonna have to let you know the tennancy laws you have to abide by ok Chriz? And that is, just don't do a 69 in my Living Room...just kidding haha! All you've got to do is write a post for me on the topic I'm gonna be emailing you soon...in your own style Chriz. Pay me rent by being honest and not trying to change anything about your writing style just to suit Keshi or her readers. I.O.W. just be yourself - make yourself at home and you know we all love your style *this is me jazzing already to Chriz's music in my Living room*. And also in that post that we are gonna be doing together, you have to reply to comments of my readers (if they have any comments/questions for you). That's all you've got to do. Simple isn't it Chriz? Ok. Now if you break those rules, the lease may expire even before you move in! ok I'm sorry I'm being such a boasting biyatch I know I know ;-). *HUGS* Alright, we'll discuss the post via email and keep our readers on toes ok. Thanks Chriz and thanks all of ya for taking part! Don't worry if you didn't win this time, cos I'll always be looking for a hot new flatmate in a hot new post sometime soon again...so stay tuned. Anyways I'm sure you all had fun in that last post, cos I did! "*the last pic here shows what happened to Chriz after moving in with Keshi*

Also, Phoenix (Raka) wants to know where on the INTERNET she could learn Tamil from. So if anyone here knows the answer, please let me/Raka know. Thanks in advance! And joyeux anniversaire Cess MWAH have a good one luv! Cess is a beautiful woman with a beautiful heart...and it's her birthday today. And on this post I wanna say this to her: May she never enter the prehistoric site that some of our love lives have now become!

And this weekend I have a massive b'day party *dress code: formal and with 100+ guests* to go to, and it's so darn hot here in Sydney. What do I wear?? A coconut-shell bra and a grass skirt? The heat is making me sick and I'm walking around as if I'm in a trance...I nearly flushed my keys in the toilet, for a micro-second I couldn't remember where my office was *that was done kinda intentionally*, I accidentally took my lunch to the loo, I feel my brain is melting like hot lava, I lost my sunnies only to be found in my own hands etc etc! Anyways, today's song is for the b'day gal Cess...enjoy it dahlin! Ciao babies have a good one!

Current Music: Dancing Queen by ABBA