An Old Soul

This post was written 1.cos this has been bothering me for years and 2.cos here in this blog I have visitors from many faiths,lands,cultures and experiences so I will get a nice variety of views on this to think about. I'm talking about Rebirth. I come from a Buddhist/Hindu background and alot of Buddhists/Hindus believe in rebirth. However I'm a person who don't blindly believe in any theory just cos it's believed so in my faith/culture whatever. I like to think rationally and fairly based on my understanding and experiences. Buddhism claims that there is rebirth for each one of us. That the soul travels through many lifetimes until it finally attains Nirvana(enlightenment). What alot of baggage the soul must carry huh, and think about the airfares whoaaaa! Imagine finding an old undy from a previous birth in your suitcase? Ok sorry guys jokes apart, do you believe in rebirth, if so why? If you think this is all a big fat joke, then tell me why? I wanna know cos I can't understand why some good people suffer and some bad people never seem to suffer in this life. Not that I wish any person to suffer but it doesn't make sense when a good man dies young or falls sick and is not able to enjoy life, while some mean old loser lives a paradise of a life. Now you may say it's pure coincidence/luck but what exactly is that luck? If we do good, don't we deserve good? They say you reap what you sow, well then why do some good folks suffer unfairly or are born with genes that make them terminally ill or are met with some terrible accident or face an unbearable misfortune due to no fault of their's?

Looking at the other side of the coin, if at all there is a rebirth mechanism, what does it serve by making good people suffer in this life where they have been good anyways? If there is a past life that may haunt you for many lifetimes to come, then should we easily blame this life's mistakes/misfortunes on our past life's deeds? My point is, if there's a rebirth at all then how does it work in a sensible manner that's fair to everyone?

However I have read many stories of reincarnation from around the world, of children remembering details of their past lives that later proved to be shockingly accurate. I've also come across some chilling rebirth stories from Sri Lanka/India that make me believe there must be some truth in it. Once there was this very famous story about a small Sri Lankan girl that was in the papers. She was only around 6yrs old and she used to be so afraid of passing this specific bridge in her town. Everytime she passed this place, she used to cry, feel extremely frightened and frantic. So her parents asked her why she was so afraid of that small bridge and then she had told them that she had died there. They were astounded and asked her for more details. Apparently she gave the most specific details of the accident, names, dates etc and they verified all of that to be true! In fact a few years before this girl was born, some other girl had died at that bridge in a car accident on her way to school. So they took this little girl back to her old house and she apparently hugged her people from the past like she knew them so well, and she even showed off her bedroom, toys etc to her current parents! If it's just some intuition in that girl then why did she feel that love for those strangers, the room and the stuff? Why that unbearable fear at the bridge? Sometimes we choose to ignore what we can't understand or what scares us the most or what might make us look silly. Although I know I'm not going to find definite answers to most of my questions here, I do feel like an old soul sometimes and I do get that Deja Vu feeling with certain places, people and events. Now isnt that cool :)

Buddhism denies the reality of a permanent self. However, something has to reincarnate, following the dictates of karma(deeds). You may ask if there is no real self, who then inherits the deeds and reincarnates? Buddha answered that only karma is passing from one life to another, using the illustration of the light of a candle, which is derived from another candle without having a substance of its own. In the same manner apparently there is rebirth without the transfer of a self from one body to another. The only link from one life to the next is of a causal nature.

According to what deeds are done

Do their resulting consequences come to be,

Yet the doer has no existence

This is the Buddha’s teaching.

What are your honest thoughts on this?

Current Music:Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

You and Me

Happy Birthday Ishita babez! Mwahhhhhhh and Huggggggggz! I wish for you Summer days, Autumn beauty, Winter warmth and Spring love forever and ever...may your heart and soul blossom with lots of love on each new day and for many more years to come!

Now to a magic spell - ABCs of Me. Guys you know, ME and Burfy cast a bewitching spell on me ooo lala! These guys come up with some seriously interesting tags. All of you are tagged instantly so get on with it after reading mine ok. Let's dive into it then...

Accent:I always had this accent and it's called Keshien accent.Well some of my friends tell me that I have a bit of an Aussie accent. hmmm I dunno, maybe Uttsy/Raj who have heard my voice can tell me what it's like.
Booze:Fruit-flavored Vodka anytime.
Chore I Hate:I really don't hate any chore...mmm perhaps listening to bullshit??
Dog or Cat: Both awww...any fluffy animal as long as it's not a blood-sucking lion
Essential Electronics:My MP3-player, PC and mobile phone.
Fav Perfume:JOOP right now. But my fav is Issey Miyake.
Gold or Silver:I don't like gold all that much. I prefer Silver compared to Gold, but I'm a serious costume jewelry addict.
Home:Sydney it is!
Insomnia:I turn and toss alot and find it hard to sleep peacefully these days. I must be heavily stressed but I live like I'm all cool. Who knows!
Job Title:IT Consultant.
Living Arrangements:Mum, sis and I.
Most Admirable Traits:I don't admire myself too much but there's one thing I can say I quite like about me...it's my ability to smile even amidst pure gunk.
Number of Sexual Partners: Let me count...1, oh that's not sex..ok I give up. As you can see my sex life is more like going to lunch in Madagascar. btw I just started a Nil-Sex club, anyone wanna join? No condoms required cos you know, it's NIL-Sex club duhhh!
Number of times in hospital:3 I guess. 1.When I was few months old and was basically dying. 2.When I was about 3yrs old and got run over by a bicycle. 3. When I was about 14yrs old and had this minor operation done on one of my toes.
Phobias:Actually I suffer from a zillion phobias so I'd direct you to my mighty Phobia list post, lol!
Quote:'Be yourself'
Religion:Love and humanity
Siblings:One elder sis
Time I Wake Up:7am on weekdays, 9am on weekends and many more times will be given later. btw I have damaged many Alarm clocks over the years.
Unusual Talent or Skill:I can sense what's gonna happen, even in a movie. I know, it's too much. Every bloody dream I dream comes true too. It's a bit spooky.
Vegetable I Love:Okra and Eggplant
Worst Habit:Over-sensitivity
X-Rays, Last time:Chest xray for some muscle inflammatory pain I had a few years back
Yummy Food I Make:Spicy chicken curry
Zodiac Sign:Cancer
Love of my life(added by Keshi):Music

What are you waiting for? JUST DO IT! Not a NIKE ad, do this tag I mean ;-)

Current Music:Who Knew by Pink

Bend It Like Keshi!

Nah I aint talking about footy or Beckham...I'm talking about, well hmmm, just bending :). Just that I have noticed different people bend very different. It really makes me laugh when I see certain people bend in hliarious fashions. I have a friend and she wears these somewhat short skirts and bends down right in front of many people if something were to be picked up (it doesn't bother her at all that her ass may be on heavily discounted show). I know it's eye-candy for guys but I have told her to be more careful and elegant (just like a lady) when bending down in short skirts, but she doesnt really care. She says she's comfortbale with what she wears and that she's pretty comfortable with how she moves around in those clothes too. Well as long as her 'Bendons' don't decide to take a sneak-peek during her 'Bendings', we are ok :). I know that most guys will stone me to death for trying to make her bend decently but be honest guys, what do you think of a girl who doesn't know how to bend safely? So girls, if you're wearing a mini-skirt and bending over, you're showing a bit too much and might be sending the wrong message to guys. No offense meant ladies, just stating the facts.

My aunt on the other hand (no she doesnt wear short skirts and hell na I don't want her to) bends in a very funny fashion. She bends down with both her knees buckled, and she does look cute that way :). I have another friend who would rather sit down on the floor than bending down from hips, just to pick something up. He sits down, picks it up and then gets up lol! I have a kneeling cousin too. She kneels down to pick something up, like in a praying position. Na she aint overweight or something like that, but that's just her bending style. There's a colleague of mine who bends one leg down and sits on the other while picking things up. And there's my neighbor who gets someone else to pick things up for her, only cos she's very old and cant bend down at all, awwww. And there's this cousin of mine who picks up things on his home floor by a hook-kinda stick. Or else he'll just stand there as straight as a tree, with his arm stretched towards the object, wanting to pick it up but not doing so, and looking at me for help. Well lets just say he's just...slothful.

Im sure you wanna know how I bend down huh? Well I just bend down to get things up in a very ladylike manner, I swear. I'm too careful cos I don't wanna be subjected to a mighty audience watching my rear, scrutinizing every angle of it and I ceratinly don't want to jeopardise my integrity during something as unimportant as a bending process! Whether I'm wearing shorts, pants, short skirts, dress or nothing-at-all(I can see jaws dropping lol), I bend down at the knees and at the hips, keeping my legs together. I may sound too stringent for something as silly as a bending process, but I like to do certain things in a chic and graceful manner. Actually, whether it's bending down, sitting down, standing up, walking or even sleeping, I like to be decent and maintain discipline (unless ofcourse when I'm exercising or relaxing at home). Don't you think so too? I don't mean to be so perfect and elegant as Queen Victoria was but I like to move graciously and decently when I'm out and about. Because we must look our best, move our best and bend our best wherever we are ;-). Now over to you, how do you do it mate?

And...HAPPY AND GORGEOUS BIRTHDAY TO YOU TRE, MWAHHHH!

Current Music: Goddess On A Highway by Mercury Rev

Once Upon A Frikkin Time...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHEESY MWAHHHHH HUNNY, HAVE A BLAST!

Where's my goddamnn glass slipper and my fairy-duhhh-godmother? And where the heck is the nerdy frog prince or does he remain an ugly toad forever? Should I be the sleeping beauty to be kissed by a handsome dude(btw I didn't know that this means I needed to be on an eternal overdose). Where's the candy house that's made of yummy goodies cos all I see is a boring brick house with a redneck puffing cocaine. What about the 7 dwarfs who were to become my life-long friends or are most tall people frozen garden gnomes? Grew my hair very long so I could get a hunk in my balcony but it seems most men are afraid of climbing and perhaps falling flat on their ass? Where's the woodcutter who really saves me from the wolf cos now there are one too many wolves around - does this mean we need a Woodcutters' Training College in each town? What happened to the magic lamp that granted me wishes or has the 500-pairs-of-shoes wish bored the lamp like there's no tomorrow? Does a magical Beanstalk to the skies exist or do I have to catch a Qantas each time? Am I the mermaid that longs for a human prince or am I just a girl who always ends up with a squid of a boyfriend? Where's the Pied Piper to chase away the annoying rats or do the modern rats need JLO to inspire them? How do I weave straw into gold cos I can't even make plain bread for starters! Where are the Barleycorn that sweet little girls emerge from cos the little girls I know today are toothy little vixens who want presents all the time!

Where's the 'Happily Ever After' that only fairy-tales seem to know of? aaarrrrrghhh I forgot...my life isnt a fairy tale ooops! So forget the glass slipper, the prince, the candy house and the darn happily-ever-after! Perhaps I should go get a life (or shoes)...I think shoes are easier ;-). How much of a fairy-tale has your life been?

Current Music: Runaway by Del Shannon

Dream Boat this time...

Guys I just have to share with you the most beautiful dream cruise I went on on Sat night. It was truly a mind-blowing experience to be on that 'Rhythmboat' for 4hrs, cruising around Sydney harbour (going under the Harbour Bridge and around the Opera House passing many beautiful waterfront homes of the rich and the famous, and some very beautiful spots in Sydney...)...in the deep blue night over the tranquil dark-blue waters, chatting with friends, having dinner and listening to some great reggae/pop music from 2 great Jamaican/Aussie singers. We grooved to the music and since we also had 2 Hens' Nights being celebrated on that same boat it was one big party! One of the hens was an Indian chick so guys, there were about 20 ravishing Indian chicks on board, dressed to kill ;-). There was also a fantastic magic show and a comdey show as live entertainment - 2 very funny guys rocked it with some great Aussie jokes and they also acted out some very strong accents from various lands (Aus being a very multi-cultural country now). I was laughing every second when these 2 brothers performed and I nearly fell off my chair chuckling, cos these guys were seriously FUNNY! They also sang patriotic Aussie songs in Polish lol, and na they didnt forget the Indian, Swedish and French accents :). There was this hilarious song about how Aussie culture is rapidly changing into many other cultures, and boys you would have loved the those lyrics cos I heard many howls and whistles from guys :) Then a scrumptious dinner, and then dancing was just superb - the Live music was a mixture of the 80's and 90's so it was great dance music. One girl did some pole dancing cos she was totally stoned lol, and na it wasnt me guys ;-) One more thing..I was really thinking of all of you during that cruise, wishing that you too were with me that night. Just imagine how much fun it would be!

That was the dream boat. But on Sunday night I watched a sad story of a ship that wasnt so much of a dream. Yes we went on a movie marathon and saw Poseidon and The Omen. 'Poseidon' is about a New Year's Eve cruise ship that got buried by a huge wave (Rogue wave) in the middle of the ocean. Though I wasn't so fascinated by the story itself (a bit boring - it lacked visible drama, and as a renowned drama queen ofcourse I didn't like it much :)), the special effects were simply brilliant. The monster wave looked so real and damn scary. The story is about how few survivors used their cranium to get out of the doomed ocean-liner and made their way to rescue. However there are few far-fetched scenes in there such as when Kurt Russel slides down a thin rope from one end to the other of the ship, with his adult daughter on his back (with fire and water beneath and at an alarmingly terrifying height). He did it with so much simplicity and as if it was like swinging from a tree in childhood and with no visible fear at all - whooosh he's at the other end unscathed and looking bored, duhhh! Like it was his second job. That moment reminded me of Rajni Kanth from Tamil movies. It's a pity that Hollywood too is catching that South-Indian-Isaac-Newton-Killing-Movie-Scenes fever. Since this movie was way too short, we decided to catch another on the same night and the choice was 'The Omen'. Rebbz I had you in mind :). Well to be honest I wasn't impressed by this one either. It was boring and there were no scary scenes except for the devil's face appearing on the mirror in a quick flash or two. One interesting thing I noticed was that the infant's skeleton in the grave was like the size of a 5yr old's?? Also the mother's skeleton was of a dinosaur or some sort of animal's. But if that's the case, and since the priest said he witnessed the birth of Damien and saw the mother's face at the hopsital, did that mean a dinosaur was admitted to the hospital for childbirth? Sorry I could not make sense out of that. Anybody who saw this movie, please explain that part to me. But I liked the last scene...it showed how the little devil-possessed Damien was holdng the American President's hand. Was that some super clue or am I guessing it wrong?

Monday we went on a long drive and yeah it was very cold here, but not too bad cos we were a group of family and friends, so we had so much fun, food and relaxation. Na I didnt get to visit the baby on Sunday cos it was too cold and we decided to just veg out at home and then to those movies at night. So that was my AWESOME weekend. How was your's? btw Blogger sucks these days...I couldn't post pics after that first pic, what a bummer!

Current Music:What Is Love by Haddaway

Dream Train

What is life without dreams? Even though some dreams may not seem reachable, it's great and beautiful to dream...for we have to have dreams to live today or else life becomes meaningless and aimless. Someday we may reach those dreams...who knows. So catch the Dream Train every now and then, dream a little dream and say a little prayer whenever you can. Some people search for happiness in the most mistaken places such as in the 'balance' of a bank account, in the hands of many lovers, in a bottle of alcohol, under a sniff of cocaine, in the holy scripts of religion, at the trigger of a machine gun or in material therapy such as houses, cars and belongings. They think Happiness is a destination and so they drive down a long and miserable road till they are very disappointed, 'cos all of the places they searched for it are short-lived. What they don't realise is that the very Happiness they are looking for is not a static destination in this map of Life. It's only a direction. And that direction resides in themselves. Finding that is not so hard if they stop the search for that unavailble destination and start searching for it in themselves. Nothing/Nobody can make you happy except yourself. If you're not happy still, start by dreaming what your happiness is like. Catch that Dream Train and go chuk chuk..chuk chuk..chuk chuk...you may get the answer then.

(click on the pics to enlarge).

It's a long weekend in NSW guys...tomorrow night we are going to a Sydney harbor cruise with dinner, a live show and dancing (just got invited by a friend so I don't even have to pay)...woohoo! Sunday we are off to lunch at a friend's place - she had a baby boy 2 weeks ago so I'll be coochi-cooing most of Sunday. Then on Monday we are going to the Blue Mountains with few friends...just for a scenic drive and some much-needed relaxation. What about your weekend plans? Anyways, catch you guys next time, have a great and safe weekend! chuk chuk..chuk chuk..chuk chuk...chuk chuk....

Current Music:To The Moon And Back by Savage Garden.

Guilty Of Innocence

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JEWEL_RAYS (AMY) FOR THE 8TH OF JUNE! LOTS OF LOVE AND KISSES TO YA HUNNY, MWAHHHHHHHHHHH!

I was thinking of watching the latest horror movie 'The Omen' last night, but since it was raining cats, dogs and even kangaroos ;-), we decided to stay indoors. Luckily one of my friends dropped in with the Hindi movie Water, a dvd I have been asking her to lend me since I read about this movie a while back. The director of this movie Deepa Mehta was not allowed to make this movie in India as there were many protests by Hindu extremists against it in 2000. The film was falsely accused of portraying Indian women as prostitutes, being part of a Christian plot against Hinduism, and even supporting the Western oppression of India. Amidst escalating protests, violence and personal death threats against Mehta and lead actors Shabana Azmi and Nandita Das, Mehta decided to cancel the production. That banned this movie in India. Although Mehta was forced to cancel Water in 2000, she never abandoned the project and last year was finally able to resume the production in Sri Lanka under an assumed name and with a new cast and a strict code of secrecy. So we watched Water last night and I was mesmerised by a bubbly little new actress who captured my heart with her very sweet and highly praise-worthy acting. Though this movie was a Hindi movie, the little actress in it is Sarala, a Sri Lankan girl and her acting is simply amazing! She had to learn Hindi (as she only spoke Sinhalese in real) just to do the movie and I think she's a brilliant little girl who is talented beyond her age. She was a treat to my eyes, heart and soul. In this movie, there's also Bollywood actor John Abraham (yes girls he looked hot even in those ancient clothes ;-) and the beautiful Bolly/Hollywood actress Lisa Ray (guys she's stunning!).

For those who haven't seen Water, the movie is about a child-bride and the heavy prices child-widows had to pay in a pre-independent India, set against the backdrop of Mahatma Gandhi's rise to power. 8yr old child-bride Chuyia (actress Sarala) hears of her child-husband's death. Her father, following the ancient custom, cuts Chuyia's long locks, shaves her head and exiles her to a widow's ashram(a spiritual place of refuge) where she is meant to live until the end of her life (yes it used to be plain cruel and unfair a life for widows back then). According to ancient Hindu texts, when a husband dies, the widow has three alternatives: Commit sati (immolate herself on her husband’s funeral pyre), Marry his brother (if one is available), or Live in forced poverty and isolation, withdrawing to an ashram for widows (one like where little Chuyia was sent to). Chuyia's aggressive and lively presence starts to affect the lives of the other widows of various ages in the ashram. She is boisterous, brutally honest and pretty cheeky. Though she is a very small girl, she asks very big questions...questions that the doomed widows in the ashram feared to even think about. She becomes very close with one of the young adult widows in the ashram Kalyani (Lisa Ray), and spends most of the time with her. The movie recites a grueling story of the harsh and punishing lives some widows spent as a result of meaningless ancient customs and poverty. Families that couldn't afford to keep their widowed children at home, sent them away to these kind of ashrams not only because of blind tradition but also because it meant one less plate to serve at home.

These women used to live in the ashram all their lives...from the tender age of 6 or 7 to the day they breathed their last breath. Hiding their desires in fear of society and culture, blinded by a faith that would punish them if they seeked any Earthly pleasures, these women suffered in silence, sacrificing their entire lives just to die one day having done nothing in life that they ever wanted to. How sad is that! I was feeling this immense pain for these women as I watched the movie and felt the need to put some sense into some very cruel people out there but my lips were sealed and my hands were tied already. These women have already served their rigorous jail terms for being a widow and for being a woman. Although it's not as harsh for widows right now, I still see various forms of oppression of widows in Indian/Sri Lankan cultures. My mother was a young widow (and she's a Hindu) and I remember she being victimised once by one of her own friends who thought it was not good for her daughter to see my mum's face as the first thing after she came of age. I also remember how one of my aunts was told not to stand infront of the wedding altar of her own daughter, just cos she is a widow and it's considered a bad omen. There is another young lady we know who's supposedly doomed for life cos she became a very young widow and so nobody even thinks she should remarry! Why are women punished this way when widowed men can go about doing anything and everything in life? Are these women supposed to be dead too just 'cos their men died? How blind and ignorant are we to go on like this even in the 21st century? Is being a widow such a terrible curse or is being a woman something to be guilty of? I think sheer ignorance is the issue here, nothing else. I find it revolting that widowed women are still being treated as cursed women in this modern era. No matter how much you say that the times have changed, the attitude certainly hasn't.

Knocking On Heaven's Door...

Knock Knock...
Who's there?
A lost girl...
What brings you here?
I'm in search of liberation...
You had so many souls who gave it to you but you left them!
But my heart was bleeding...
But these souls didnt leave you??
I know. I received so many letters from Heaven so Im at your door now...
Come in then and liberate yourself in the love of those who really cared!

HUGGGGGGGGGGZ Guys I'm back! Thanks EVERYONE for all the emails/comments giving me so much strength and love since last Friday. No more tears and no more silly dramas, I promise. Cos I realise that so many people here truly care about me and that's a rare considering the experiences I've had in the past. So I must be thankful for having you all as my friends who brighten up my day in countless ways. I'm sorry I was blind and was lost for a while, but I somehow found my way back to Heaven and that's YOU. I'd like to thank each and everyone for not losing faith in me and for speaking great words of wisdom in their genuine efforts to get me back here and guess what guys, it worked like a charm :) I'm here earlier than I thought I'd be mainly because of JD, cos he said that he's going to be away in the Middle East soon and that he doesnt want to leave in my absence. So J here I AM!

I would like to share with you a few great quotes from Buddhism that I have been pondering upon over the weekend:

--There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.
--Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else-you are the one getting burned.
--It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
--Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
--Meditate. Live purely. Be quiet. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine.

~~Buddha.

And my own revelation from my many experiences:

Relationships are tough, espeically if you are serious about it. If you're not in it for real, it's quite easy, cos it's easier to pretend that everything is sugary and rosy than to really go through it. And if that novelty in a relationship is lost, it's lost for good. It's like how when a drop of ink falls into the milk, the milk is no longer white and pure. Therefore I'm not going to torture myself with the loss of any friends, cos I haven't really lost anything here but my realisation of SELF. We all cry so much because we are so hooked up on SELF, even though we crave for love from one another - cos it's SELF that we really love so we constantly want to pamper it. I realised that I could have a zillion friends but I can never force them to love me and no matter what, I will always end up by myself. When the curtains are drawn, people go home and the lights are switched off, I will be all by myself. It's any man's story. That's what will always be and so I realised that I need to learn to rely on myself.

Have a great day folks and THANKS SO MUCH for always being there for me!

Current Music: All By Myself by Celine Dion.

Sailing Away

A million charges laid against me. Punishments written down in a very long scroll. You shall be hanged and your crime is you. Your life is worthless and you are doomed. You are heading to a land full of gloom. You left your home, hence you're a vagabond. You're atrocious influence to many virtuous souls. You don't belong in this pure world. In the wilderness of this treacherous life, I stumble and fall. I stand up and keep sailing ahead. I see people smiling, some are frowning. Some are laughing and some hail for a ride. Some hold my hand and some stab me with an invisible dagger. Deadly blizzards and heavy rains always come every now and then. I keep on marching not looking back. In the deep blue night I see an iceberg in the way...will I stop sailing and be glad that I didn't die? Or will I even die while sailing fearlessly? I'm the holder of my map...I'm the sailor of these seas...I'm the goddess of my fate...I'm the doer of my deeds. Your Honor, I'm guilty of the felonies in your court of fear and safety. But I'd rather die while sailing than bow down in cowardice.

One of my favorite poems:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
--William Ernest Henley

I think some people are taking advantage of my blog just to pass time and judgement. And at the end of the day, after reading my honest thoughts here, they call me someone who's trying to get the approval of what I think is right, a great big traitor to many friends, a bad influence, a loser with nothing else to do etc etc. Perhaps to them I'm just a joke and just a net Id to read in the weekends over their morning coffee. You know who you are and you know what...you don't deserve to read my thoughts anymore.

I've had enough of hearing too many charges against me all the time and my blog posts being scrutinised from every angle at the courts of a very flawed law. Unfortunately I live in their land and so like those Judges say, I'm a pain to many and need to go away from all of your lives for good. Thanks all for everything, take care and Bye!

UPDATE:DONT WORRY, I WILL BE BACK AFTER A BREAK.

Selfiship

*Do as I expect please.
*Hear my point of view and you may keep your's silent.
*You didn't do what I thought you'd do so I think you're fake.
*You did the obvious so I still think you're fake.
*My other friends told me that you sound fake.
*You have forgotten me but it's ok that I have forgotten you too.
*Hello I'm handling the strings and you're the puppet.
*You are so popular so you've got to be shallow.
*I've lost that old you just cos I choose to lose you.
*I'm right and you're wrong.
*I got hurt and remember your feelings don't count.
*You were never there for me but it's ok that I wasn't there either.
*Just listen, don't talk cos I don't want to hear you.
*My good friend Jane got hurt but who cares how you got hurt.
*You don't agree with me so I think you're a bad person.
*You questioned my belief so I disrespect you and dump you for life.
*One of your enemies insulted me so I think you're a disease that should be avoided.
*My jealous girlfriend suspects us, so I leave you.
*You're gorgeous! (bull sh#t!).
*I can't forget you but I somehow did and I feel great.
*You're non-existent now, although I bump into you all the time and I pretend as if you're invisible.
*I choose Sally's friendship over your's.
*It's easier to disregard you cos I don't chat with you everyday.
*You stand up for your rights too much so I run away from you.
*You don't fit in my perfect-friend criteria so you're rubbish.
*None of the many sweet things that you are counts anymore, cos you made one mistake.
*I can't stop associating James just cos you are hurt but I can stop associating you.
*You don't come from the same country as I do, so you're less important.
*You are frikkin smart so I'm scared to be around you.

*You're too kind so let's walk all over you.

*You're not gracious so you're still not good enough.

*You challenged my views so you're ignorant.

*You have too many people around you so I'm jealous.

*Be someone else that you're not and I might like you.
*If I avoid you I'm a better friend.

*I have a bunch of other friends, so you're insignificant.
*You are plastic and we are made in Heaven.

Oh Momma, a friend is just a known enemy!

--written after decoding the messages of my many selfish 'friends' that I have known in this lifetime. Wear the cap if it fits ya.

Current Music: Don't Cry by Guns N Roses.

Intelligent Design 1011

Intelligent Design, now it's even a newly proposed Uni subject. What comes to your mind when you read the 2 words Intelligent Design? When I first read about it in a magazine, I thought it's an extension to Artificial Intelligence (AI) which I took up as a subject when I was at Uni. Well I was wrong...it wasn't in any way about anything 'Artificial', it was actually quite the opposite of artificial - it was about natural design, so naturally intelligent too. And guess who/what I'm talking about? God.

I know that some of you who don't believe in God would be laughing at me, but that's ok, cos you'll have to read on before you say anything about this :). What I'm trying to get across to you here is about that very grand existence you may defy by overlooking the intelligent design that's all around you that only He is capable of. Who is your designer? Can you design another human being just like you, a man, a woman? Who is the designer of nature? Can you design a tree, a river, the ocean, the sun? Can you? True, man can design many things...all based on Artificial Intelligence though, be it a dinner-cooking robot, a supersonic jet, a palm-pilot etc etc. But can he design feelings, emotions,tears,body and the soul? Can he design the Earth, Wind, Ether, Water and Fire? Can you? If you can't, then you're probably not the top-most intelligent designer that there ever was...there is someone else above all of us then. That's Him who is the only intelligent designer that no one else can defeat. And for those who have a theory about us being created just on our own, I wonder how that happened. Give me an 'intelligent' explanation please and I will see if I can make sense out of it.

I may face loads of misfortunes in life..I may not be the luckiest girl on Earth..I may have lost my dad when I was very young..I may not have found true love yet..I may see alot of evil in this world..but none of that will conquer the most natural and the most intelligent design that I see in each of us and the world around us. There has to be a God who holds the copy-rights for the splendid and priceless design embedded in all of us and the nature around us. And we hold the price-tags for the artificiliaty that got built after that. Now who designed this peacock feather so beautifully and gave it the colors that no one else could have? It would have to be a world-class artist who can never be imitated.

Current Music: As Long As You Follow by Fleetwood Mac

Baby when you're gone...

I'm not feeling too well guys and have been this way since last week...cold, cough, flu and what-nots! It's bloody cold here and Winter is taking away my Summer wings :*( I Need a good rest too...so thanks for all the comments in the last post and I will answer them asap.

I believe that everyone has wings...you just got to find them and fly away to directions you always wanted to...be it happiness, peace, love and joy...and fitness perhaps - but right now, my wings are taking a break as well. So maybe they do need a rest too and baby when you're gone, I feel so helpless...

Take care you guys...I will be back soon...and oh yeah, with my wings too ;-) Mwaahhhhhh!

Current Music: When I Die by No Mercy

Untitled Title

I'm the angel, I'm the devil. I'm the drought, I'm the river. I'm the lamp, I'm the darkness. I'm the water, I'm the flames. I'm the lock, I'm the keys. I'm the dancer, I'm the lame. I'm the mute, I'm the singer. I'm the wedding, I'm the funeral. I'm the loner, I'm the group. I'm the charm, I'm the dull. I'm the disease, I'm the cure. I'm the sound, I'm the silence. I'm the pit, I'm the ladder. I'm the shawl, I'm the naked. I'm the teacher, I'm the student. I'm the chair, I'm the standing. I'm the blue, I'm the colorless. I'm the greedy, I'm the giver. I'm the child, I'm the mother. I'm the sinner, I'm the saint. I'm the lucky, I'm the damned. I'm the ocean, I'm the lake. I'm the sweet, I'm the sour. I'm the shelter, I'm the blow. I'm the tear, I'm the smile. I'm the wine, I'm the poison. I'm the friend, I'm the enemy. I'm the maker, I'm the destroyer. I'm the soldier, I'm the coward. I'm the hunger, I'm the food. I'm the sword, I'm the pen. I'm the book, I'm the reader. I'm the tea, I'm the cup. I'm the real, I'm the memory. I'm the broken, I'm the glue. I'm the flower, I'm the bee. I'm the guitar, I'm the audience. I'm the cradle, I'm the grave. I am many but I'm just one. It's I who choose to be the many that I am. I'm the reason, I'm the result.

AND A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DESPERADO my soul mate in many ways!

Current music: Light In Your Eyes by LeAnn Rimes

Global Warming

Any ideas for 2000? duhhh do you even need any material for that, LOL! Just thinking how much we have evolved over the decades and while doing that how much baggage we have shed, inlcuding clothes. Global warming or not, people have gotten rid of many things over the centuries and it seems like not many people like too much material on them these days. Why is that? Are we going back to the stone-age when men and women wore less clothes and some even wore nothing at all? I saw a documentary on nude-city in France where people don't wear anything at all...go figure! I guess Saby is already applying for citizenship there, good luck mate ;-)

Music: Baby I Love Your Way by Big Mountain

Desert River

He's the night...he's the day...he's the breath...he's my play. He's the secret...he's the song...he's the dance...the one so strong. He's in my head...he's in my eyes...he's all over...and he's in my cries. I long for him...his alluring touch...his tasteful scent...that haunts me much. His dark dark hair...and enthralling hands...his voice so deep...his steps in the sands. His magical kiss...his tongue that wanders...his tightest hugs...his nibbling lips. I shower him with love...deep kisses all over...my burning senses...now his forever. His caressing fingers...his luring devil...his soothing chest...his lustful marvel. He's the truth...he's the lie...he's the mirage..he's the sunrise. He's here...he's not here...he's around...he may not I fear. I look for you..I hunger for you...I follow you..I lose you. I see you...then I don't see you...I need you...but is there a you?

Music: Where Do You Go by No Mercy

'Wander'ful Kisses '4U'...

Have you seen the shimmering stars in the midnight skies...the velvet green hills as you drive past by...the untainted smiles on a child's face...that last bit of hope in a troubled soul? Have you felt the silken caresses of a loved-one...the secure promise of a genuine friendship...the cool raindrops on your shoulder...the ageless beauty of someone's heart?. Have you heard the assuring voice of an angel...the melodious song of a nightingale...the tune of the soft breeze blowing on a Winter's night...the sweet music in a child's laughter? Have you smelt the fragrance of a baby-pink rose...the milky scent of a new born baby...the whiff of the hair of someone you love....the fragrance of your favorite perfume? Have you said the sweetest things ever to someone you adore...a genuine compliment to someone who deserves it...a sorry to someone who may be hurt because of you...a word of kindness to someone whenever you can?

Have you seen, felt, heard,smelt and said anything wonderful today? Have you sensed life today?

This post is a heart-felt dedication to dearest darling Wanderer and my bestest guy friend ever 4U2NVAU (hence the sweet title up there :), 2 of my good mates that I missed birthdays of. They are not only just mates, they are true gentlemen, men who know what it takes to live like a real man. Love you both so very much that if I try to write all my love for you out here, Blogger will crash with an 'insufficient space' error ;-). Wandy and 4U, I'm so very sorry this post didn't come in time for your birthdays, but it's not only on your birthdays that I value you, it's every single day. Stay gold forever mates.

Song dedicated to 4U and Wandy: Tears In Heaven by Eric Clapton

Just A Little Bit...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRAVEEN for the 18th of May! Luv you loads girl for who you really are...cos you are real and you are genuine. I'm glad to have found ya!

Whatever happens, whatever people say, I am just me. And I am happy about that. Are you happy with who you are? If you are not, then probably you're not being your real self. Think about it.

A little bit of love is enough to heal a tormenting pain
A little bit of rain is enough to cast away the heat
A little bit of friendship is enough to put a smile on your face
A little bit of sun is enough to get the flowers blooming
A little bit of laughter is enough to bury the silence
A little bit of beauty is enough to dull the darkness
A little bit of gentleness is enough to cure the soul
A little bit of heart is enough to go a long way.

Dedicated to all the people who really cared for me for who I really am - More Than Words by Extreme.

A Stud?

Keshi: You didn't like the post? I thought you believed in power that knowledge brings earlier than most unless it's only a copy n' paste on your profile?Perhaps I should take on writing the usual self-centered articles that must always focus on a never-ending quest and my continuous effort into wanting other's be known of tall frame, gorgeous face, sexy body and the smarts I carry?This post is truely an analysis of 'Satyam Shivam Sundram; i.e. 'Truth, Goodness and Beauty'. And if you really thank people as being the source system to your knowledge management, then, don't be so biased and limit yourself into appreciating people that only write to you in an agreement to your thoughts, unless, to gain a praise and a desperation to be right is the only goal each day.

Stud wrote this in his blog, probably after taking off his usual 'I ADORE KESHI' mask. Stud I thought you had substance but you proved to be a jerk! Sorry but I have to say it. You were someone who admired me with all the poems etc which now I believe is pure bull sh#t. You had all those wrong ideas about me all this time and yet associated me as a good friend? What kind of friend are you? My Taste-Buds post must have pissed you off totally but you know what...you are a 100% SELF-CENTERED guy who thinks that you are Mr.Know-It-All. Remember I didn't insult vegetarians, it was you who insulted non-vegs in many indirect ways. You write so much about being a good soul and all those religious debris, but how good are you if you had all of the above negative thoughts about me in your head all this time? And what about your quick temper? Your Sathyam Shivam Sundaram preachings hasn't helped that at all! I guess you are just jealous, nothing else. So what if I write about things I like to write about? Isn't that what my blog is for? So what if alot of people like me, does that make me the shallow person you think I am? Why did you even visit me here if you thought I was trying to gain praise and have a desperation to be right? Why? Well even if I'm all that you claim me to be, so why not get what I get? You're green about it? Oh forget it, why am I even bothering with someone like you! People like you continue to prove to me that this place is full of air-heads with no substance. I treat my friends pretty good but the moment I realise he/she is a mere wolf in sheep's clothing, I just dump them then and there. And yeah I will do it in public cos there's nothing to hide. I'm sorry to say this but you are no longer a friend of mine...by reading what you wrote above, not that you have ever been a friend anyways!

If anyone else agrees with what Stud said about me, please stop visiting my blog. Don't come here with 2 faces, I don't like chameleons. Just humans will do. No one's forcing you to be here. If you don't f###king like me, LEAVE. You have a choice.

DISABLED COMMENTS FOR THIS POST ONLY.

Watch-Dogs

Girls, have you noticed that some guys just can't take their eyes off your ass/chest or the entire body? Well I have noticed that so many times and it's bloody irritating. It's one thing to be looked at and appreciated as a woman, but altogether a rather embarassing and harassing experience when the looker is a born pervert or when he's a Phd-holder in Pervertology. Some guys just don't know when to stop staring! I don't know if guys get the similar treatment from ladies but it's mostly guys who can't stop staring at a girl's ass/boobs. What is it with these men? Why are men so addicted to a pair of boobs and that butt that they have too? Can any guy answer this please :) I mean I have had some guys basically talk to my chest, as if my face was a couple of inches below! It's like 'Hi Keshi, WOW, ok so hows life?'. LOL, I'm laughing now, but it truly is annoying. It's not like I can tell them 'Could you stop talking to my cleavage cos my face is up here, not down there...'.

When I'm travelling to work, I have seen so many guys perv at many body parts of women. Well it's ok to look at something beautiful as long as you don't touch...but there's always a limit to looking too, isn't there? I have noticed some guys staring so much that you'd just want to forget about catching the train and start walking home. And some other guys just pass these flimsy looks as if to ask 'Are you free, so can we talk...'...urgggggggggggh not in this life Mr.Jack Ogle! I have seen some guys practically freezing looking at some girls' assets and these girls were not even dressed scantily. I guess those guys may have collapsed somewhere half-way through their journey haha! And I have been subjected to quite a lot of pervy treatment that I'm even embarassed to write here (no I don't walk around in super mini skirts and boob-tubes!). Some men who are with their wives/girlfriends (at movies, mall or train stations) still stare at me and at other women...not just once but infinitely! If that was my boyfriend, I'd knock him unconscious, and Dr.Death will be called in for further help.

I know that men are made of some very fragile hormones (lol I can see rotten eggs coming my way) but that doesn't mean they have the freedom to make women feel uneasy in public places. But I do know that all men are not like this. Some dudes have fine-tuned their habits to minimise the damages ;-) Well don't get me wrong, even I look at good-looking guys and day-dream sometimes hehe, but I don't stare so much that the guy notices it and starts to feel uncomfortable. That's sexual harassment be it physical or not. No one has the right to make another feel uncomfortable by being stared at. But no one has the right to say 'don't stare' too. It's really frustrating. Luckily my work colleagues are great guys...and know their limits. But I'm sure there are tons of other women(even men) who get subjected to such harassment in many other countless ways at work/Uni/public places or even in their own homes! So tell me your experiences. And do not be afraid to speak out next time. If someone is bothering you and doing it for too long, let them know it and free yourself of the harassment. Don't just put up with it!

Mothers In Arms...

Since it's Mothers' Day here in Aus this Sunday (14th of May), I'd like to base this post on Mothers around the world. But I don't want to go on preaching about how great mothers are etc cos I think all of you know that already. So while keeping all mothers in mind, I like to do a short weekend post on it. Just try to take part to the best of your ability (whether you're a female/male or mother/father/single etc).

What do you think is the most 'Alluring' aspect(s) of your Mother?

It has to be distinguishable from the rest so it's a good learning process/knowledge for others here. Mothers around the world may have the same motherly instincts, but I'm sure they differ in some subtle yet amazing ways among different cultures and homes. My answer is as follows:

My mother is a Sri Lankan woman (with Indian connections) and we have lived here in Australia for quite some time. I feel my mother has a very distingusihing quality about her. And that is, she always speaks what's fair, whether it's her children or not who's involved. She never takes sides. That quality about her has made me learn alot about life and I guess I approach things the same way now. Even if it's my friends or not, I say/do what I think is fair. I have seen mothers who always favor their kids no matter what. I understand that may be out of the endless love for their kids, but I think if a mother truly loves her kids, she should teach her kids the truth by being an example herself. Remember that it's a mother who lays the foundation for life inside a child's mind. If the foundation is shaky, there's not much one can do later on. Happy Mothers' Day to all mums and especially Autumn_Storm, Ishita and Kath (who are the only mums I know in blogs - sorry if I missed any others...)! Muahhhhhhhhhh all you sweet and brilliant mums!

Music dedicated to all the mums - My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion.

Taste-Buds' Rights

I have been branded a dead-body-eating evil person :( Is this fair now? Just cos Im a non-vegetarian human being, I have been subjected to so much humiliation, SOBBBBBZ! Don't get me wrong, though I'm a non-veg I simply respect and admire the self-control and discipline vegetarians carry within them. But that doesnt make me less of a human being, does it? I mean, as much as I would like to be a vegetarian, I simply can't...call me greedy,weak, evil, worldy and what-not...but I'm human after all. I have pleasures that I'd like to fulfill while I'm alive, as long as they don't harm another human being. While I don't go kill lambs and chicken with my own hands, as long as they are provided in the market, I will tantalize my taste buds with them. Don't you drink water when you're thirsty? Don't you kiss your partner when you're hungry for love? Don't you eat what you like when you crave for something? It's something like that. I eat chicken when I feel like chicken, simply cos I have been brought up to eat meat eversince I was a baby and I love the taste of chicken.

Now I understand that we as humans have a better brain to decide what's wrong and right etc but is eating meat a wrong thing to do? Does it make you less of a human being? I don't believe that people should refrain from eating meat for religious reasons (even though I come from a Buddhist/Hindu background and I have lots of loved-ones fasting based on such a theory). While I may be a kind soul, I'm certainly not a nun! I mean if it's ok for us humans to have sex and call it a right/need, I guess the rights of the taste-buds should also be respected as long as it doesn't violate human rights. My conscience says that what matters is the color of the heart and not the taste in your mouth. Who says that ONLY non-veg people have animalistic qualities? I know a dozen of veg people in my own circle who are selfish, mean and greedy in their own ways. So it's not really whether you're vegetarian or non-vegtarian that matters. Both sectors have good and bad people. What matters is your thoughts, words and actions towards others. While I love animals (and I don't kill them), I dont consider killing animals for human survival is such a terrible thing. Imagine we didn't have any non-veg people in this world? It'll be a world full of animals trying to overtake humans and it could be quite a choatic place to live. If eating a living-thing is wrong, then I guess eating fruits and vegetables is also wrong. Only cos they have Life too, until you pick them :) If we are to become so pure as not to eat meat and call meat-eaters evil, then I guess such people need to wear robes and meditate in the woods - no sex, no alcohol, not even strip-club visits lol (yes I'm looking at Stud haha)! Please feel free to say whatever you have to say here - I wont be mad. I would really like to hear all of your honest thoughts on this. But no fighting please...an intelligent debate would be appreciated.

Two Star Hotel

So you think your world is boring, sad and too stressful? You think you're unlucky and that you're not looked after by the very person you have so much faith in...do you think there's so much hatred in this world...well don't lose faith so easily. Look around you...look at the amazing events that happen around you...I believe that amidst so much hatred, there is still alot of love, kindness and true human spirit left in this world.

On the 25th of April, a gold mine in Tasmania Australia, collapsed trapping many miners 925m underground. The body of a 44yr old miner was taken out on the 2nd day after the rock-fall but 2 others were still missing. When all hope was lost, they heard faint voices of men from deep below...yes, those 2 men were still alive even after 4 days since the tragedy and they were surviving without food/water for so long, 925m below the ground! A special rescue effort began and the whole of Australia was watching and waiting for the 2 young men to come out safe. Their families, friends and many strangers gathered around the mine in this small town, helping each other and supporting the rescue efforts. Days went by, people praying at churches, some crying fearing that they will never come back up and the rescue team was doing their best. The way to where the 2 men was a hard route and they had to drill a 1m wide hole (all the way to the men) in rocks that were 50times harder than concrete! They used drilling machines, small bombs and were very afraid of more rock-falls that may be fatal to the trapped men. All the while, the trapped men were seated in Siamese-twins position, not being able to move at all, surrounded by large rocks and so deep down in extreme heat. They communicated with the rescue team and the men were supposedly in very good spirits and always sported a great sense of humor. They called their trap a Two Star Hotel and the 2 stars were them, keeping each other company. They asked for bacon and eggs, and wrote Thank-You notes to the people up on the ground for helping and supporting the rescue, in case they don't get to come out or it took longer than expected. 14 days passed in this agonising way, and this morning at 5:59am the men were brought to the surface THANK GOD, after a long and near-fatal rescue effort! The first words spoken by the rescue team to the men when they saw them was 'I can see your light...' meaning their mining helmet lights...and they said 'I can see your light too'. Today is a very happy day for many of us who were praying for the men...the church bells rang as soon as they arrived on top and you should have seen the 2 men coming out of the hole...it was one glorious moment filled with tears of joy and also so much admiration and gratitude for the rescue team who risked their own lives to go down there to get these men out. This morning I cried hugging my mum...it was truly heart-warming to see these men coming out with their arms open (looking for a hug) and to see the families surround them crying and calling out their names. It was as if they came back from death.

I'm truly touched by the positive spirit and the amazing courage and grace these 2 men showed being in a near-death situation like this for 14 long days and nights. Imagine being trapped that way and not knowing if you'd ever see your families again? I don't think I can ever match the true strength of character and valour these men have portrayed during this very dark experience in their lives. And for the people who stood by them and never gave up, those who helped these men to come back to life from the demons of death putting their own lives at risk, I feel a very deep respect and gratitude that words cant even express. The kindred spirit that binds all of us together, wanting to help each other in a situation like this is truly commendable. This is what true humanity is and this is what true love is. This is what God truly is. He's not in some temple or some text book or in your vegetarian meal or at the end of a machine gun. He's in these selfless acts of us humans..He's in the true courage and grace of these trapped men and He's in the helping hands and hearts of those rescuers. He is in you, look for Him in your heart...not anywhere else. Be a life-saver and have faith in people - there is love after all. Tell me if you came across such amazing stories of true human spirit...

Music dedicated to true valour of these men:Fields of Gold by Sting.

The Weirdo In Me...

Playing Miss.TiggyTaggy today! One of my dearest friends Dawn has touched me with her magic wand and cast a bewitching spell on me...woooooosh! The spell is to write a blog entry about 10 weird things and/or habits that I have been inherited with. Now when I was spell-bound by this, I was thinking that it should rather be about 10 non-weird things about me cos usually Im weird..lol! However let me take part in this and see if these are normal to you guys too. ABRACADABRA, you are tagged instantly! yes that's you who's reading this, so get on with it after reading my list muahahahaha!


1.I'm a manic dancer.
When I get time, I do all sorts of dances that I have never even learnt...be it Spanish, Turkish, Punjabi, South Indian, HipHop, Funk or even puke sappy movie dance scenes. My friends/cousins love to watch me doing numbers like 'Dum Maro Dum' with all sorts of facial expressions and we have so much fun laughing. btw I can dance anywhere...be it home, parties, beach, car, lifts and even in the Ladies' as long as I have music on. My feet just can't keep still. Just this morning I was shaking mah booty in the Ladies' while checking on my mascara.
2.I like to look and feel rather glamorous ;-)
If I'm going to a wedding or a formal party, I like to look my BESTEST. I don't over-dress but I like to reach near-perfection. Call me vain but I like to flaunt my movie star charms every now and then...yep that's too much to ask for, but I so wanna look and feel g-l-a-m-o-r-o-u-s. Even for work I like to look good and quite presentable...just this morning my mum and I had an argument over me spending too much time in front of the mirror and I just left home being angry at mum...so you see, it's that tragic.
3.I'm an unforgivable clean-freak.
If I'm ever visiting your place, you better have it quite clean and neat...cos, goshhh I can't stand untidy and unclean places...sorry but that's me. Even at home, I can't even sit and watch TV if something around me is not in it's usual place. I love to clean the house whenever I can (even though I get lazy at times) and I like the place to always smell nice and fresh. Sometimes when I get messy, I feel like I'm dying..lol, yes it's that serious.
4.Yes I believe in that pink-bubble destiny.
For some people this may be weird but I do believe that no matter what, your life is a pre-written story being recited chapter by chapter each day. We all have our own season and we disappear when it's the end of our season. No matter how hard you try to change your life, that too is pre-written for you. You may call me silly and weak, but that's why Im me na..
5.I love heavy-metal rock.
For a sensitive soul like me, it sure is weird that I love heavy-metal music. But I just think it's one of the sexiest kinds of music and even though it can get loud and crazy, somehow rock makes me feel at ease and relaxes me. Eversince I was a kid, I loved playing the role of a rock star and I also had a small guitar that my dad had bought me one Christmas cos I asked Santa for it. And all the while, my sister was sitting so sweetly at a piano looking so girly lol!

6.I have a shoe-fetish.

I love sexy shoes and I can't help but buy different kinds of shoes every season. I feel good when I wear a glamorous pair of stilettos/boots that make my legs look great and attractive. I can't but help stare at lovely shoes if I ever spot someone else wearing them. It's a pity that men can't be so sexy with shoes...but hell yeah I still check their shoes, ahemmm shoe-size lol!
7.When I get angry I can be quite funny.
When someting gets on my nerves and makes me wanna scream my lungs out, I always find a humorous corner in my soul. I just stop immediately and laugh like a maniac. Usually I make fun of my own self and it makes me laugh instantly, no matter how frustrating the situation may be. I think I'm lucky to be that way 'cos it helps me to forget the issue and calm down quite quickly.
8.I get turned on by weirdos.

LOL yes...I get turned on by some guys who don't usually attract other girls. I mean if he's got a weird sense of humor or he's got a weird way of doing certain things (as long as it's not too crazy), I get attracted to them. I used to have an ex-boyfriend who loved to tickle my feet from under the table, whenever we were chatting etc...so you see, I was totally floored by him!

9.I'm easily shaken.
Yes as much as I sound strong, I'm very easily shaken. If someone sneezes loud, I get startled easily. Little things like that affects me alot. My mum says that according to Hindu astrology, my birth chart says that I'm a female deer...ahaaa, so that must be why. Then I better make sure I find a male deer ha ;-)
10.I don't like just hunks.
yeah weird but I don't like hunks just cos they look good. I need substance. A blue-eyed, blonde and brawny guy with an Akubra hat may get my attention but not for too long...he better impress me with some 'brains' or he's history. And FYI Brad Pitt was never my cup of tea - I mean coffee. Now girls can you just believe that!

Food for thought...

YUMMMAYYYY it's time to pig out hehehe. Ok this post is all about food - yes delicious food! Food is something we all need to survive and it's one of the most desirable pleasures in life. No one can live without food and no one can avoid food for too long. Because it's one of our basic needs and it's also one of the things that makes this life more scrumptious :) Yes Keshi can be a greedy piglet...lol!

While I like to stay healthy (but I'm not a vegetarian), I still can't avoid some yummy but a tad unhealthy food...such as french fries, fried fish, grilled lamb, fried rice etc etc. But I have a few of my favorite kinds of food in the world. Out of the mains, I love seafood. I simply love fish, prawns, crabs and squid. Also I love chicken/tuna salads and pastas. But nothing beats Indian/Sri Lankan rice and curry :) I JUST LOVE SPICY FOOD. My best is Chicken curry with lots of spices and curry leaves (I adore spices). I make it myself and everyone loves to eat my Chicken curry. It feels so good when someone says my cooking is good (Keshi bats her eye lashes...hehe). I also can cook very spicy Lamb curry but no one can beat my mum on that one. She's jus too good at that. Out of the many yummy Sri Lankan dishes, my favorite is 'Ambul Thiyal' - Tuna dish cooked a bit dry with spices and it goes well with 'Kiribath' - milk rice (pic on the right here->). Indian foodwise I love Thosais (a kind of pan cake eaten with coconut chutney) , Idlis(something like thosais but not as flat ) and Biryani (aromatic rice with meat/veges and alot of rich ingredients). Out of the International cuisines I have tried, I love Italian, Thai and Japanese cuisines the best. And I'm pretty good at making Pasta (Italian) , I love Tom Yum soup (Thai) and Teriyaki Chicken (Jap). Always nice to have these with a bowl of fresh salad. btw did I forget to tell you I'm a mega Vegemite fan :) when it comes to brekky. Turkish bread toasted with butter and vegemite is a little bit of heaven for me in the mornings. I don't like sweets all that much but I like cakes with yummy icing and I always like the corner piece of a squared cake...cos it's got more icing ;-) And I like Rum and Raisin ice cream with nuts...cos Im nuts. Also I cant' resist many Indian sweets!

Out of beverages, I love coffee...mwah mah daily coffee! Ok I cant live without coffee, that's a fact. If someone wants to kill me, put me in a place where there's no coffee...anyways, is there even a place like that? I'm not much of a coke drinker but I don't mind it. I love fresh juices and water the best...I like orange, guava, mango or grapefruit juice with a bit of ginger in it. They give me a refreshed feeling and also keep me awake at work..duhh! And when I go out, I drink wine/Vodka...I can't take more than one glass and also that's only if I'm not driving. I also like mango Lassi...the Indian yoghurt drink...it's just delicious! So yeah...that's my kind of food and beverages. What about you? What's your favorite foods/drinks and how good are you at cooking? And don't forget to recommend me something I may never have tasted before (give me the names too). Eat well, be well and be thankful that your plate is full.

What a boy!

I know I said that I wont post any bday posts again, but I just cant let this bday go past me without saying a word about this great soul. Funniest part was that he told me some time last year when his birthday is and I forgot all about it until yesterday...yes yesterday. Yesterday something told me that I must check with him again when his birthday is 'cos I vaguely remembered it was somewhere in May. So I emailed him and his reply comes back saying that it was indeed yesterday (2nd of May)! I'm so glad I didnt forget it completely and it wasnt months later that I asked him..it wouldnt be that great a feeling for me then. He just needs to know how much his presence has changed me as a person and a birthday is the ideal day to say it all...:)

Well he's one of the very few genuine guys I have ever made friends with. He's decent, caring, sweet, honest, very very very intelligent and makes me feel quite dumb with his very deep posts lol! He's a very independant and brave soul. He taught me how to be brave and how not to be intimidated by cowards. His calm and collective nature amidst strife, always drew me closer to him. He's a very special guy and he's none other than my good mate Sittingnut. He's truly a beautiful person both in and out, and I want to thank him for being the person he is...for all those times he was around when it seemed like most people left me for good...for all of those times when he offered me a shoulder to cry on when I had none...for all the sweet emails he sends me every now and then to make sure that I had a good weekend...for being the pillar that I thought would be hard to find in a place like this...for not asking for too much but for giving me his true friendship always. I love you my mate and I wish for you always sunny days, love, peace and joy, good health and every dream of your's coming true...HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATE!

Music dedicated to you: Cherish by Kool And the Gang.

Whenever...

Whenever someone doesn't return your call, let them get to know of you in their own time...
Whenever someone blames you for no reason, stay still 'cos they will get back to reality some day...
Whenever someone doesn't acknowledge your presence, be happy that you have acknowledged their's...
Whenever someone acts strange, be glad that you were never a stranger to them...
Whenever someone doesn't let go, make sure that you let go of the baggage...
Whenever someone laughs at your emotions, be happy that you never laughed at their's...
Whenever someone doesn't understand you, let them understand themselves first...
Whenever someone doesn't seem to care, be glad that you cared.