The right to pull the plug

Imagine the following situation you may face:

Your 70year old mother is in a vegetative state after suffering a severe stroke. The hospital authorities proclaim to you that she is 'physiologically futile' hence it's meaningless to provide her with further treatment or continue to keep her alive. What would be your immediate reaction and your feelings? This is when you might have to choose rationality over blood, strategy over kith and kin, I really don't know, but all I know is it would be just too devastating a situation to be in. Do you think a group of people who never met you or your mother before her illness, should have that golden right to decide the way your mother should die? You'd know that quality of her life right now is nil, but how do you agree to such a heart-breaking and callous decision?

I have read about families who have faced this situation and how degrading legal battles diminish that very being of the person involved. Because now everyone has a say in it and it's disgusting how some people have no feelings for the family's trauma of losing a loved-one by being forced to put him/her down! I understand that being in a vegetative state isn't the most hip way to live but that does not give any other stranger the right to call that life useless and therefore be perished prematurely. Your loved-one lives all her/his life, do all those things to make other loved-ones feel special and leave lasting memories and cherished moments, only for some stranger to pull her/his plug off? That will always be far-fecthed to me! The right should be the family's after the patient. What say?

Fear factor

What am I afraid of, I mean really afraid of? On a lighter note (but I'm serious when I say this), I'm petrified of cockroaches(couldn't find a single term for this phobia) and spiders(Arachnophobia). Basically my fear of these creatures is not because of any other threat but simply because they are incredibly disgusting! I remember once my cousin brother carried a dead roach and chased me all around the house till I reached a dead-end and fell in to the bath tub crying my lungs out...it wasn't too long ago lol! And I believe I have a serious phobia here, let me tell you why. I initially chose Bio Science for my A/Ls. But in my first week of classes I realised we had to dissect cockroaches and that was the last time I ever saw the walls of that lab or any Bio lab for that matter. I immediately switched to the Maths stream and here I am working as a Computer Specialist instead of being a doc, my long-term dream. Yep those roaches ruined my plans of a medical career, unfortunately or should I say fortunately? :) On a very serious note, I'm also afraid of disability/disfigurement (don't know the phobia term for this). I'm not afraid or ashamed to say this but since I was born able and good-looking, I'd fade away quite profoundly if I ever become disabled/disfigured due to some accident. Because that will swallow my self-confidence, self-esteem and my identity that has brought me this far in life. Call me selfish but yeah I'm terrified of losing my self-confidence. Everything else in life I can cope with.

Here's a list of phobias you may identify yours' with http://www.phobialist.com/index.html

So what is this fear factor? Basically all of us have some kinds of fears in us (rational and irrational fears). Fear of public speaking perhaps...some fear of flying and some of heights. It is believed that most people can deal with these rational fears and go about their normal lives. However if a certain fear is persistent and interfers with your daily life, it is considered a phobia (irrational fear) and needs to be treated (as my cockroach-phobia, duh I don't need treatment I'll just avoid them:). As quoted in an article relating to fears "Rational fears on the other hand, serve as self-protection mechanisms. When rational fear is activated, your body and mind become alert to the dangers in your immediate reality and respond accordingly. Fear of snakes, poisonous spiders, fire, and falling are examples of rational fears and are based on your instinctive self-defense responses...". That means fear can be quite useful for us as much as it can be irritating. If not for fear, we would never know the goodness of security and comfort. As long as your fear is not going to end up as a persistent phobia that makes you avoid the source of it (like not visiting the dentist because of your fear of dentists), it is natural and rewarding to be afraid of some things in life. It wil make you try harder, more alert, bring out the best in you and enjoy the comforts in avoiding them.

Tell me what you're afraid of and why...spill it out, discuss it, be prepared, manage it, live happy, brave and free...

Outlaw the monster-in-law..

Fortunately or unfortunately I don't have a mother-in-law yet and I'm yet to see that JLO movie, but boy haven't I seen enough venom spewed on this poor family member :)

I have a few married friends who can't stand the day their MIL is visiting them, yes even for a few hours lol! And my boss loathes Thursdays because that's the day his MIL is dropping by. I have another friend who's MIL nearly went to the Police because of some silly argument! I also have another friend who has her MIL living with her and all she ever does is fight with her, then ring me and we go and sort things out :)

What's the deal between the daughter-in-law and the monster-in-law, ooops I mean moth-in-law, ooooops no I mean mother-in-law (phewwww!) that they hate each other so much? Don't know if this is because I don't have a MIL yet, but I find it quite shocking and extremely stupid to see DIL and MIL constantly at each other's throats. After all they are both women, they both have/had a husband, one woman is young and should be bubbly and the other is old and should be matured, they both share a very valuable relationship with this man and they both have/had mothers-in-law...so why can't they ever make up their minds, talk things over and be peaceful for that poor guy's sake atleast? Is it because they both are an important part of this guy's life? But why should that end up in jealousy and hatred? Instead shouldn't they be happy for each other and co-exist in harmony. MIL needs to realise that his son is not a baby boy anymore to manipulate his choices, and DIL too need to realise that her husband's mother is a very important woman in his life. After all, if you really love your husband, wouldn't you love the woman who gave birth to him and brought him up to be the guy he is today? On the other hand, if you are the MIL and if you really love your son, wouldn't you love the woman he chose to be his partner for the rest of his life? You need to chop off the selfish motives and harvest understanding between you two. You have to learn to let go and reap benefits. Anyways I personally think MIL should live away from DIL...that way, they can appreciate each other better as well. And DIL, you need to outlaw that Monster-in-law thoughts and treat her like your own mother :)

I am yet to come across a peaceful DIL and MIL (almost like mother-daughter), tell me if you have...

Spring is for blossoming...

Today as I was ordering my usual coffee , a pregnant lady walked in. Her belly was swollen and heavily protruding, but since she was quite a slim lady her pregnancy was extra visible. She looked radiant and happy...skin glowing and showing every bit of motherhood unfolding. I instantly thought of a fresh flower exuding it's beauty to the fullest...a rose that's in full bloom while buds around her are yet to see the light of the world. However, you don't have to be pregnant to blossom naturally. When you're happy and content with yourself, you will be in full bloom inevitably. My point here is don't forget to blossom and radiate beauty always, wherever you go, whatever you do. Young people today worry about too many unwanted things that they forget their very basic nature - being yourself and being happy with simple things in life! Like with the fact that you may have a family, good education, opportunity to be a parent, enough money to keep you off the streets, decent job and a great friend or two, quiet moments with nature, 5 senses that you're blessed with...just think about all those people who can't confidently say that they have any one of the above - trust me there are many out there. So just be happy with yourself, do things that you are happy to do, be happy for others, think of happy thoughts, be around happy people and most of all be at peace with yourself...and when you learn to see joy in simple things in life, your health will blossom naturally. And your true beauty will begin to radiate. For a flower only blooms for a short while...don't deprive yourself of that beautiful and colorful Spring season of your life...

Where is the glitch?

A beautiful 19yr old upper-class girl (half Swedish and half Sri Lankan) was brutally murdered inside their luxury apartment complex in Colombo last month. Her name is Yvonne Johansson and was a Fashion Design student who had just come back home after studying for 2years in the US. She along with her 16year old sister(Caroline) and Caroline's 21year old boyfriend (Sharmantha - apparently ex-boyfriend of Yvonne) had gone out clubbing on the night of June 30th. And later, Caroline and Sharmantha have had some silly argument and they had come home early (to the girl's apartment at around 2am), leaving Yvonne in the night club. Yvonne had later driven home (around 3am) and Sharmantha had been waiting for Yvonne near the lift on the 23rd floor. Then they had some sort of argument (God knows what) and then she had chased him down the steps down to the 19th floor. That's where the murder took place. Her head was brutally banged against the walls and the face was wrecked being repeatedly smashed against the steps. She was strangled using her own jeans and left to bleed and die. Apparently she had no face and her sister could not identify Yvonne for the Police, the next morning when they found her body. How tragic and cruel is that?

Part of the story here:

http://www.dailynews.lk/2005/07/06/news12.htm

Yvonne's photo in a Swedish newspaper here:

http://www.dagbladet.no/nyheter/2005/07/04/436426.html

Note that both Yvonne and Sharmantha come from extremely wealthy and upper-class families in Sri Lanka and have known each others' families since childhood. They both went to Colombo International School - CIS (one of the prestigious International schools in Sri Lanka). I find this story just too shocking-gave me the goosebumps! What a waste of a young life and how many more Sharmanthas are out there? What a total loser and a pathetic moron he is. Some people have everything they want in life and then they invite unwanted things into their lives, why? Who could be blamed here? Some blame the International school system where Western culture is encouraged. I find it ridiculous to blame an entire school or and entire culture because of one rotten apple! Some blame the parents for bringing up children with too much freedom. I find that ridiculos too! I mean both were adults (19 and 21) and how can parents stop them from doing what they want at that age? After all clubbing isn't so much of a crime, is it? I think the entire blame should be on the guy...he is the doer of the crime and that's it. No matter how much rage you experience during an argument, no civilised guy would commit such a low and gruesome act. What say?

I just called to say...those 3 words...

Have you ever noticed that the most simple yet vital feelings are the hardest to express verbally? Such as 'I understand you'. People carry alot of self-importance and a major ego that it's really hard for them to say these simple words, even to a loved-one at a time they really need to hear that. 'Please take care' might help someone think twice before they do something crazy all because you said it, but do you use it often? When you are missing someone, how often do you really say 'I miss you'? I bet you never really do, as a guard against sounding weak and mushy in front of that person. What about 'Let me help'? When you know someone is struggling with some problem, you don't want to say this because you just don't want to get involved. Better stay away than be sorry, right? One day I heard someone say 'Please forgive me' and I felt that it was truly heart-felt than just saying I'm sorry. You do love your family don't you? So did you ever walk up to your loved-one and say 'I value you'? I'm sure most of you didnt because it sounds so silly to do that, when you know deep down that you already do! 'I'll be there' are 3 words that a friend would want to hear from you when everyone else has turned him/her down. Did you ever use those words? What about 'You are right'? Does not give you the winning edge right, so why say it? How about 'I admire you'? Simply no, because that makes you feel like you lack something! Last but not the least don't put off that 'I love you' either, because as silly as all these 3 words sound, they will set you free from the ego, selfishness, pride and perhaps save you from shedding a sea of tears some day...

Indian woman VS White woman

This post holds no offense to any person, no intention to spread racism and no plans to make one superior than the other. This is to bring out your true feelings on the topic of Indian woman VS White woman. As subjective as it can get we must not forget that everyone is entitled to freedom of speech, hence let's respect that and enjoy the discussion. This is not to judge who is better than the other, it's rather to weigh the strengths and the weaknesses of both and by unearthing those facts, we can try and learn from each other to make our lives better.

The Indian woman VS White woman debate has been around for years, and especially if you are an Indian living in a Western country, you would have come across this topic more than anyone else. On the strong side, I personally find the White woman independant, vivacious, bold, relaxed, realistic and sporty than the Indian woman. As for the Indian woman, she is virtuous, painstaking, graceful, homely, selfless and God-fearing than the White woman. This not to say that the other doesn't have these qualities at all. Just that one strikes out more than the other in these traits. On the weak side, I would say that the White woman is arrogant, selfish, short-sighted and careless than the Indian woman. And the Indian woman is gullible, dependant, voiceless and bashful than the White woman. Please don't take this too harsh on you :) Read below before you start throwing stones at me and say '#### off Keshi!'. lol!

Now these qualities may carry it's own advantages and disadvantages for both kinds of women. You may say that the White woman is independant hence she wins at the end of the day. But it could be at the cost of her loved-ones. And one may say that the Indian woman is selfless hence she has a long and happy married life. But that could be at the cost of her own hopes and dreams. Also, one may say that White woman is selfish which is why she might end up going through many relationships before she settles down. But it could be good for her because that gives her ample time and experience to decide on her soul mate. And you may say that the Indian woman is voiceless and that's why she gets dominated all her life. But it could be good just that way, because when too many things are argued about, the difference between a man and a woman's role becomes hazy...

So it's best that we learn from each other, and try to achieve a balance in life. Perhaps the White woman should learn to be a bit more farsighted and the Indian woman should learn to be a bit more daring, not forgetting to keep within the safe limits :) To all the lovely White ladies out there, I hope you are still smiling at me 'cos you ladies taught me how to stick up for myself and to kiss away the pain with a simple 'piss off' and a sexy smirk :), thanks girls! And to all the elegant Indian women out there, I hope you too are still smiling at me 'cos you are the essence of courage and wisdom, and you are the reason why my mother is so utterly wonderful!

Oh to hell with it!

Have you ever been misunderstood, overworked, underpaid, abused, unloved, uncared for, forgotten, run down, put off, stood up, taken for granted, misused, invalidated, dismissed, thrown away, mishandled, manipulated, rejected, refused, unheard, humiliated, cheated, cornered, dominated, harassed, discriminated, what-not unfairly? Do a quick self-evaluation of your relationships, be it between bf-gf, husband-wife, sibling-sibling, parent-child, relative-relative, friend-friend, teacher-student, colleague-colleague, customer-salesperson etc etc.

Think it over clearly...you could be mistreated right now and you may not even be aware of it! It could be even happening for years, and the reason why you may not be aware of it could be because you have gotten so used to it or even addicted to such treatment. Don't let life go on for the sake of maintaining any relationship on a peaceful note. There is NO real peace in such relationships. Some may keep silent for the sake of cultural and societal beliefs and even fear of losing the other person. But what is wrong is always wrong. Don't let people run all over you. Don't disregard your true feelings no matter how small they may seem. Pay heed to your feelings, respect them, make a note of them, build up some courage and blurt it out before it's too late! It may help the other person to realise what he/she is doing is wrong and it will refresh your relationship too. If not it may even end it for good...but let's face it, you don't want to continue something that's shadowing your sense of self and burying your beliefs, do you?

You only got one life, try and live it as free as you want it to be, without being mistreated.

What if...

what if deserts never missed the rain...
then my heart wouldn't be so scorched...
what if mirages never conned...
my dearest dad would still be here...
what if we all knew how to love...
then words wouldn’t know how to stab...
what if smiles could build big bridges...
I'd be having coffee with you...
what if memory never existed...
life would be one bed of roses...
what if God worked in your office...
you could take Him out for lunch...
what if birds could deliver mail...
daily you would hear from me...
what if wild flowers bloomed in the garden...
beauty wouldn't be so rare...
what if all dreams always came true...
rivers of tears would all be dry...
what if eyes spoke as they see...
it would be hard to meet up with you...
what if feelings are a butterfly...
I would be dancing right next to you...
what if friends are always forever...
my heart wouldn't have known patchwork...
what if there were many other colors...
my car would have been a nice sebleu...
what if daffodils grew in ponds...
then smiles would sprout through hurtful tears...
what if sun shone late at night...
darkness will learn to disappear...
what if tears could write a book...
then right now I'd be one famed author...

Punctuality rules

Folks I'm a bit pissed today. When someone promises you he/she will meet you at a specific time on a specific day, why would he/she not turn up? You can call me a more-than-perfect Ms.Punctuality, hence I expect the same from another and I don't think that's unreasonable. And if for some reason I won't be able to make it, I will always make sure I let the other person know that well ahead, so that they don't miss out on their lunch or their sleep waiting for me. I certainly will not make anyone feel stood up unless I met with a serious misfortune that left me stranded in an island with no human civilisation, mobile phones or computers..not forgetting a rescue plane!

Now I guess my friend got busy with some very important matter last night that he couldn't let me know before I was about to be stood up for, ehhh like one hour?? And now it's today and he hasn't still emailed or called me for a well-overdue apology. Some people think that it's ok for others to sit around waiting for them and then go back when they reach the point of no-turning-back in boredom. And then they expect everything to be ok the next day?? But I think it's really slack, out of character and lack of consideration to make someone wait for you for a long time, not turn up at all and not call atleast in the next 24hours to say sorry! Don't you think so? As I already left a message for him while waiting yesterday, I'm not going to call him again neither am I going to meet him atleast for another few weeks, even if he's going to turn up a day ahead of planned time.Fullstop.

Have you been stood up by someone or have you stood someone else up this way and if so what were the reasons and do you think it was fair?

Knowing me Knowing you

Ok this was too irresistible, Cheesy and Deips you guys got me smitten by this now :)

I made a Quiz for You on QuizYourFriends.com
CLICK on the link below or PASTE it into your browser.http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=050710222519-977439
Please take the quiz and leave your scores thanks!

So you think you know me ha?

Show me some Hip...

At a birthday party last weekend, I was wearing a dark brown pair of cordroy three-quarter pants that's got lace at the waiste&hem, a light pink v-necked long-sleeved woolen top, black&pink hair scarf tied as a head band with my hair up at the back and a red pair of stilettos. My cousins were like 'You are absolutely hip and looking gorgeous!'. But seriously I don't think I'm that hip, it's just that I have a good dress sense and I like to look and feel beautiful always. According to the sources 'hip' means 'fashionably current'. If I'm fashionably current, I would have been wearing one of those khaki pants and suede embroidered boots which is the 'in' style this Winter in Aus. I like fashion alright but you can't say I'm totally hip! Because what's hip may not be my style. We all carry our own dress sense and style. Some people wear whatever is hip, some choose what suit them the most. What about you? How would you dress for a casual evening function? What kind of a fashion god/goddess are you with clothes, accessories and shoes?

What is love?

Gosh I think Love is all around me :) Since my dear friend Sebia too is on a quest for a clear definition of Love, I thought I would ask each of you to pen down a simple line or two on what you think Love is. Make it original if you can. I found this line in a book I read long time ago and I think it completed my definition of Love in a very simple yet profound way...

Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle.

As I see it, true Love will withstand any barrier that comes it's way. That's all there is to it. So tell me what you think Love is.

Raining in my heart...

She was just out of school. She went to his office for some work. The moment he saw her, there was magic. He got up from his seat and walked up to her. She was feeling a little awkward and was wondering why he's walking up to her. He came smiling with the nicest smile ever. He was very tall but by his careless laugh you could tell he wasnt older than 21. He started asking her silly questions that were totally irrelevant to work. She laughed and answered him back equally funny. They clicked just perfect. He called her almost everyday from that moment onwards. She wasn't sure if this was going to work. She told him that many times as she was afraid of making big decisions then. He was head over heels in love with her. He sent her many tokens of love. But in a few months time she left to a far away land never to see him again. He somehow found her address and wrote her some amazing letters. She responded only once. It's been some years of pure silence between the two since then. Her name is Keshi. He is Gerard. I'm really sorry Gerard but I still remember you fondly, I do care and I still have the cassette you DJed for me as a bday gift...I still listen to it just to hear your voice and boy what beautiful songs you have selected for me - Endless Love, Everything I do, Always, I will always love you, When I die, Unchained Melody etc. You are very special. Maybe we were not meant to be together. I hope you are doing well wherever you are and that you found that perfect girl you so deserve. Sometimes I hate myself for not recognising men who really care about me...when he was around it was always sunshine, now it's always raining in my heart...