Friday, July 15

Oh to hell with it!

Have you ever been misunderstood, overworked, underpaid, abused, unloved, uncared for, forgotten, run down, put off, stood up, taken for granted, misused, invalidated, dismissed, thrown away, mishandled, manipulated, rejected, refused, unheard, humiliated, cheated, cornered, dominated, harassed, discriminated, what-not unfairly? Do a quick self-evaluation of your relationships, be it between bf-gf, husband-wife, sibling-sibling, parent-child, relative-relative, friend-friend, teacher-student, colleague-colleague, customer-salesperson etc etc.
Think it over clearly...you could be mistreated right now and you may not even be aware of it! It could be even happening for years, and the reason why you may not be aware of it could be because you have gotten so used to it or even addicted to such treatment. Don't let life go on for the sake of maintaining any relationship on a peaceful note. There is NO real peace in such relationships. Some may keep silent for the sake of cultural and societal beliefs and even fear of losing the other person. But what is wrong is always wrong. Don't let people run all over you. Don't disregard your true feelings no matter how small they may seem. Pay heed to your feelings, respect them, make a note of them, build up some courage and blurt it out before it's too late! It may help the other person to realise what he/she is doing is wrong and it will refresh your relationship too. If not it may even end it for good...but let's face it, you don't want to continue something that's shadowing your sense of self and burying your beliefs, do you?
You only got one life, try and live it as free as you want it to be, without being mistreated.

49 Cranium Signets:

Tanvi said...

grrrrr keshiii..where do u come up up wit these great ideaz! i totally agree with u..sometimez u get misused and ppl take advantage of u..we should speak up n be out with it....the person should realize that they're hurtin u..

PS: grrrr!

Kerry said...

i am speechless love! you just blew me away. what powerful thoughts...

wow...

Kerry said...

ps. *hugs*

"what if we all knew how to love?"
from your poem below. why is it so hard to just be and let be? i don't know anymore girlir, i just don't know.

to love and be loved, equally. it a dream of mine. someday i hope it will come true...

Keshi said...

heyy tanvi muah! c'mon I dun need that kind of praise :) these r my random thoughts and they r very ordinary. I want every woman or man who's out there feeling mistreated to realise wut they r going through and to come out of it...I know I aint some famed star, social worker or a psychologist to reach every corner of the world with this message, but someone who might pass my blog may benefit from this...even if 1 person felt better by reading this, I'd be happy :)

Kerry thanks swt hrt!
~~why is it so hard to just be and let be?~~
Oh well, I always asked that Q myself...have u realised that the most simple things in the world r the hardest for people to achieve? Most people have complicated their heads with so many external influences that they forget their very origin and basic nature...to love n to be loved unconditionally n timelessly...

I know ur a big swt hrt...u will achieve ur dream someday...I'm sure of it! Hugggz!

Keshi.

southpaw said...

Yo keshi, nobody likes to be misunderstood, overworked, underpaid, abused, unloved, uncared for, forgotten, run down, put off, stood up, taken for granted, misused, invalidated, dismissed, thrown away, mishandled, manipulated, rejected, refused, unheard, humiliated, cheated, cornered, dominated, harassed, discriminated and what not? But the fact is that we all got to pass through all the above situations u mentioned, no matter what. Who decides what is wrong and what is right? WE ,ourselves and it is not mandatory that what we think is wrong has to be wrong for others too. We all face the above things and unknowingly do it with others as well, no big deal! as long as u do it deliberately. You are right, its always good to try and live as free as we want without being mistreat, though its quite a big ask at times, but nothings wrong in giving it a shot….

southpaw said...

Correction keshi... We all face the above things and unknowingly do it with others as well, no big deal! as long as u don't do it deliberately.

Arz000n said...

Relationships will remain a mystery to me all my life. Im talkign about one between bf-gf...The more time I spent in thnking about it, the more I get confused...Im reading a lot lately, but still not able to firmly say that, "Yes I'm ready now. Lemme start a new one...I think I will be able to maintain it".

Its not that I fail(exp of 1 failed r'ship in past), its the fear of losing the other person.

If I look back now, I wonder if she was taking me for granted.

Think it over clearly...you could be mistreated right now and you may not even be aware of it!
I think I was not aware of wht she said about her feelings for me and I wht I understood about it.

As far rest of the things r concerned...misunderstood, overworked, underpaid, abused, unloved.... dont think something worth enough to comment here.

About diff relationships:
bf-gf: see above
husband-wife: still to experience
sibling-sibling:they r gonna love me, Im sure
parent-child:I hardly speak with my parents...and thank god they dont know anything about my blog :)
relative-relative:I hardly interact with them. They are like extinct to me. Only look good in ol' family albums.
teacher-student: My teachers still visit me. Most of them r retired...I enjoy interacting with them.
friend-friend:They are waiting to shoot-me-at-first-sight for not being in touch.
colleague-colleague:I like working with most of them...however few r exceptions
customer-salesperson:no comments.

Keshi said...

true south...I totally agree with u on what is defined as wrong by one person may not be wrong to someone else...that is why I mentioned the word 'unfairly' at the end of my Q :) Then again u may say what is unfair to me may not be seen as unfair to someone else...it can go on forever...but what this post intends to do is to make those of us who may really be subjected to any sort of mistreatment realise that they dont need to keep quiet or put up with it anymore...it does not mean go ahead n file a lawsuit lol....it's a message for awakening...for realising that u dun have to live under pressure n perhaps in hidden depression unnecessarily...

Thanks :)
Keshi.

Keshi said...

Arz000n most ppl remain in incompatible bf-gf r'ships simply becos of the fear of losing the other or in fear of not finding someone else soon enough...i've done that too...but u got to make mistakes to learn lessons in life...we r not born perfect..we have to shape our lives as we pass the years...like a craftsman moulds n art of near-perfection...it's ok that u cudnt make it with u ex-gf...think of it as a stepping stone to a better r'ship :)

Keshi.

Arz000n said...

Yes...thst true...
but then wht if the new one fails too?
Does tht mean I am not able to maintain it properly? or just that Im DESPERATELY looking for a relationship and falling into an "incompatible" one, which is anyway bound to fail.

Thoughts like this are more confusings...
Solution: still searching.

PS:Lady, dont make me think a lot...Im not used to putting pressure on my lil brain. All your posts test my thinking capability. How do u come up with something like this.

Keshi said...

Arz000n I sense u have a fear of failing a r'ship...from ur Q ~~but then wht if the new one fails too?~~ I realised that.

U must realise that no r'ship is 100% perfect...perfection here means being able to accept each other for who they r...that's abt as far as u can go in achieving a harmonious n truely worthwhile r'ship.

~~Does tht mean I am not able to maintain it properly? ~~
hmm it may be becos u n she were simply not compatible...may be she wasnt willing to learn abt ya or it cud be u were not willing to learn abt her n see how things went...r'ships always flourish when u learn to give n take...but when the right one comes along, u wudnt even be asking theses Qs :)

So dun be afriad to tread the shores of Love...give it a go, if it fails, then try again...u never know until u try right? so it can be more than 2-3 times, even more I dunno...liek I said b4, when the right one comes along, these Qs will be quite insignificant :)

I get u thinking? lol cool!

Keshi.

southpaw said...

Now that was one hell of an absorbing explaination senorita! Point noted and accepted.

Keshi said...

haha South :) mah pleasure!

Keshi.

musings (m000nie) said...

oh keshi this happens so many times to all of us.. i cant remember a single special happening..but thn sometimes even we do the same thing to others n never realise this.... 'take me for granted'... those r the words that says it all... n i hate it when people do that...n i hate myself whn i do that to someone too...

musings (m000nie) said...

whoa keshi where do u get time to think up such unusual things??? ...this is so thought provoking... but thn we should also try to think in the opposite manner...r we doing the same things to others???... mayb not knowingly... but r we???... as u said its the time for evaluation...

Keshi said...

wow eyezz good thought! We should ask ourselves too...hmm I forgot that lol! Maybe becos I didnt think I was mistreating anyone...but let me give it a thought tonite :)

Where do I get time to come up with these thoughts? lol I dun need much time...they're just in my head n usually I write a post within 10-15mins...not any more than that.

Keshi.

Autumn Storm said...

I like the list...that in itself is pretty powerful. These things have been on my mind since my trip anyhow, it will probably feature somewhere in my blogs soon, and you more than others will now know what I am talking about ;-).

Dawn....सेहर said...

keshi..the moment I read this post...I smiled..didnt I post something like this in my blog ...well!
The one that you have written is something serious I believe..something...injustice which no one should tolerate I suppose...as 'self-respect' is something which always comes first to me..:) & you know what keshi...u reminded me of my baggage collection problem..its in my blog for the month of June..;) I just dont want to talk about it ...it brings hatred...and I dont want like that as I believe in 'let's live & let others live' :D
but you brought up a major issue..of not just suffer but react...in short Newton's 3rd law ;)
good one ..keep boosting!

--pearl-- said...

kesh..all of us go thru these times at some point of our life.Thats whats life's all about.i guess it teaches us to become stronger..n makes us realize dat lifes not always just gonna be a cake walk.The sooner u go thru these things in this competative world,where everyones trying to get on top of d otha..d betta it is fo' us.. :)

jkhkhjkh said...

For the reason of maintaining my sanity, had to race through reading the blog and comments.

Disclaimer: Reading this blog can damage you further.

saby said...

, , Pay heed to your feelings, respect them, make a note of them,


as a practicing shrink
i wudnt advice any one to do dis

feelings are fleeting
and must be so

u shud not let dem develop into scars,

as guys we say tings just for time pass wid no real pre-meditated intention to hurt another

tuza maicho go, meyala
BC-MC, tu yede aaheth ka?


dis is the way, we talk in mumbai
but if u look at the words

it wud seem hurtful
and a sensitive guy mite get hurt

the moral of the story is dont be sensitive

when some body cusses u
laff it off, when u have no ego, its very easy to do it


PS: dis will annoy him more

saby said...

Pithaly is rite

Dewdrop said...

If you pull yourself down, others follow suit, no matter how close they are to you.
Moral: Don't sell yourself short. Or you'll go for free.

jkhkhjkh said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
saby said...

, , misunderstood, abused, unloved, uncared for, forgotten, run down, dismissed, thrown away, rejected, humiliated, what-not .......

sometimes i too feel like a motherless child, but

i will do my crying in the rain

talldarkman said...

Keshi...how long have u lived in India? I am sure it must be a teeny weeny time...and that too in childhood...not when you have had to earn your bread.... :)

talldarkman

saby said...

Moral: Don't sell yourself short. Or you'll go for free.

i tink the girl who said dat is more american than the americans

we indians are a boisterous lott
and we pull legs along wid the skirt

Caraf said...

Kesh oh i SO agree with what you said. ive been abused a lot in life without even knowing it... im still perplexed about how i wasnt even aware of what i was going through.... i think that its very important not to have low self esteem. Because otherwise you'll take any kind of behaviour and think its ok.

word_smith said...

the one who stands wrong is more guilty than the doer............?

i applaud

nin said...

great idea Keshi.....
You cannot be lonely if you really like the person you're alone with...
so make friends and have fun........
because "You only got one life, try and live it as free as you want it to be, without being mistreated."
take care...
see you....

Rex Venom said...

Good words! We all get treated as we choose to be treated. Speak truthfully about what we like, love, need, want and hate. Communication brings solutions.
Rock on!

Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

k i wish i had the guts to do something like that!!! But i feel weak and meek these days!!

i really want ppl to know how cruel they hv been!!

Kroopa Shah (Kr00pz) said...

I agree. Sometimes you just get used to such stuff and don't think of standing up for yourself because 'thats the way it is' (or so you think).

--pearl-- said...

keshi?where didja disappear?

Vinu said...

Agree totally with you...

In this world full of emotional and unemotional creatures things happen like this ...

But we cant cut dwn such relations like the way u said...

I fu thnk in deep or research we can see those who does such stuff to us hav been suffering from some other sufferings. Thats the way they had been moulded up. But instead of cuttting out things and living life the whole way we want do u think everything will b fine...

If we understand why people hurt us and try to analyse a nd support to rectify them dnt u thnk tht will be th best relationship we can carry forward?

Kerry said...

hi sweets! just dropping in to say hellloooooooo! *smiles and hugs*

Keshi said...

ty auumnstorm...I look forward to reading ur post soon :)

Newton's 3rd Law, good one Dawn! I will read ur baggage collection post now :)

True Pearly life is not cake-walk...but what I'm talkin abt here is people who r really 'mistreated' n dun do anything abt it becos of fear...I want such people to gain some self-respect n talk abt it. Thanks sweety!

lol Pithaly!

Saby I aitn talkin abt being too sensitive here! Ur going totally off the track :) I'm discussing abt people who really get 'mistreated' n do noting abt it, in fear of losing that person...for eg: abuse, racist discrimintaion, domestic violence etc...

Dewdy spot on! Well-said, thanks :)

Caraf, I'm sorry u have gone through some sort of abuse, but I'm glad u've realised it now n that u havent lost ur magical spirit...thanks!

wow what wise words there Deips! Thanksssss hugggz!

Thanks Avik for those sweet words!

Rex that was an awesome piece of advice to all, thanks!

Yep Cheesy, let em know...no harm in letting em know??

Kroopa soooo true...people think it's ok becos it's always been like that...that's the 2nd mistake!

I'm here Pearly :) hugggz! twas the weekend n I hate to log in from home in the weekends...only rarely I do that...becos I'm so busy in the weekends...hows ya sweety?

Kerry hugggggggggz, such a lovely person u r!

Vinu yes I agree...I did not say CUT down the r'ships LOL! I said 'talk' abt it...sure enough the other person my have had some bad experience in life that he/she treats u bad...well the best solution is to talk abt it and sort it out...n even after that, if that person is not willing to change then surely u have to put a stop to it urself,instead of living with the same mistake again, dun u?

Tally what nonsense r u talking abt? I have lived n worked my first job in Sri Lanka...I know how hard life can be becos I lost my dad (the main bread-winner of my family) when I was just 16! R u intending that I'm some sort of gal who's used to a luxury life in Aus n wouldn't be able to stand a short drizzle in life?? Then u dun know me!

Thanks all..
Keshi.

saby said...

Praise the Lord!
u told us a lott here,and

heyyyy ur stealing my daily bread
i am supposed to be giving the advice, not u

Dammit!
u want us guys to starve or wat

Keshi said...

n Tally I havent earned my life here in Aus becos of family riches or through someone's easy help...I came to Aus on my own merits, had a very difficlut Uni life as a o/s full-fee paying student (paid all those debts back now), had to find a job after Uni etc all on my own merits...so yeah, no one was holding my hand right throughout except God...

Guess u have underestimated my will-power :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

just that I dun like prejudice...

Keshi.

Christopher Trottier said...

I guess that's pretty good advice.

jkhkhjkh said...

Count me in on your side if there is a battle.

Keshi said...

ok Saby so wut d u want me to do? Be scared of the net losers n hide away?

Keshi.

saby said...

i just posted a guide book

--pearl-- said...

been...uhmm alrite..kinda...howz ya been...waitin fo' ur next post...

PuNeEt said...

Mindblowing Keshi...
I agree with you with bottom of my heart... No point carrying a relationship for the hec of it...
I'm fighting a similar battle in my personal life where i've my feeings and my dreams on one side and social customs and traditions on the other...
I know i'll win it at the end of the day... but i want to win by playing with the rules...
Rightly said... you have got only one life...
Fundu post...

Keshi said...

hehe Pearly me alrite, thanks...I will put up a new post soon dun ya worry :)

Puneet thanks! Whatever it takes, stick to ur goals and dreams...as long as u give a little n take a little without being too selfish, it's ok to pursue ur dreams with a passion...

Keshi.

tulipspeaks said...

oh keshi..

this post sounds as if written just for me :(

i gone through this hell so many times, till i lost count but i don't know why i need to subject myself to such humiliation..

your last sentence will definitely give the spark i need..

thanks

Keshi said...

Amutha don't put up with sh#t...that's the biggest mistake u can make...allowing someone else to go on doing a mistake that hurts ya...speak out n put an end to it...

Good luck!
Keshi.