Friday, September 30


WARNING:Will not be held liable if any material in this post follows you home. Read at your own risk!

It was the night of December 31st few years ago. I was stricken with a horrible bout of chicken pox and was all alone in the apartment for the very first time. My cousins had gone out partying as it was New Years’ eve and here I was lying in my bed so very tired from the illness and feeling really low. The clock strikes midnight and I get up to light the lamp, a New Year's eve family tradition my mum taught me. I go back to bed and not being able to sleep, I was thinking of my home far away. My room door is half closed giving me a small view of the pitch dark corridor outside that lead to the toilet. I cant’t seem to be able to close my eyes not only because the chicken pox pimples are killing me but also because I am alone…and I feel something in my way…some strange eeriness in the apartment. However I remain calm and am not even thinking of ghosts, while all lights were off. Suddenly I see a short woman in the corridor, in a long white gown with unusually long hair…hair that reached the back of her feet and she was floating away…yes floating as in not walking fast but feet above the ground and off she went in to the toilet! That’s it, a 6second apparition and NO it wasn’t my imagination or a dream, for I was wide awake. My apologies, the horror I felt at that moment cannot be expressed in words.

I wanted to keep quiet about it only because I wanted to forget about her. And I know most people will laugh at me even if I said that I saw her with my own eyes. This was some years ago. Just recently I met up with one of my cousins who I used to share the flat with. She came from overseas and I was catching up with her few weeks ago. However I felt like telling her about this…I don’t know why but I just felt I should, so I did. Guess what she told me…that she has seen the same woman in that apartment just once! My jaw dropped and we both got goosebumps. Now we are not kids to get so excited about ghosts but then what is the explanation to this other than it being a spirit? Maybe somebody died in that apartment long time ago, we don't know. Previously I never believed in spirits even though I have heard so many stories about them. But this apparition forced me to believe that they do exist and maybe only some people experience them.
After that, some of the horror movies I have seen sometimes get me thinking deep. I don’t mean the silly ones like The Scary Movie or 13 Ghosts that looked so pathetic I really felt sorry for those ghosts:) But if you look deep into the crux of movies like The Shining, The Exorcist, The Others, The Sixth Sense, The Grudge, the Tamil horror Shock and the Hindi movies Raaz and Vaastu Shastra (when all the silly dancing and singing is set aside :), don’t they so magnificently depict the fact (or fiction to some) that a haunted soul really woudn’t leave that easily. Paranormal activities must exist to explain so many other stories I have heard from friends and colleagues. Well you don't have to believe me and you may really think I'm being silly, but I saw her and I now know they exist. Think about it this way, when you scratch the surface paint, there's always the wall beneath. In the same way, when your body expires, will your soul too?

Have you experienced the dead, what really lies beneath?

Wednesday, September 28

Introducing My Best Friend...

I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming
Monsters calling my name
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops
As they’re falling tell a story
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me
Don’t say I’m out of touch
With this rampant chaos-your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape
In my field of paper flowers... ... ...
Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary light...

To listen to this song, go to and click on #7.Imaginary.

Most of Evanescence fans would have heard this song long time ago. This is one of those songs that never grows old for me, just like 'The Reason' by Hoobastank and 'You know you're right' by Nirvana. Why don't some songs leave your soul? I think it's mainly because you have a similar experience in life that you could relate with the song. Atleast that's what that does the trick for me. All songs come from real people with real experiences in life - they write songs for a reason, for a memory, for themselves, for someone else...isn't that why music is the most enjoyed kind of entertainment in the world. Ever since I was a kid I had a deep passion for music, especially guitar sounds - it has certainly grown over the years and now Music has become a huge part of me. If not for my precious CDs and my Discman I would certainly have died long long time ago. Im being dead honest here :)
And why is that....because...
Music reaches my soul like no other thing ever can. Not even my best friend can understand my feelings as much as my music can - that actually makes Music my best friend. It identifies with every chord in my soul be it miserable, happy, dumb, angry,lonely,cruel, loving,scr#wed up wuteva it may be - oh those guitar tabs and my soul tabs are definitely twins and when they meet up, it's pure heaven. Only Music totally understands the language I speak - something I can rarely ask for even from a loved-one. She quenches my thirst for liberty, finds my memory when it's lost, satisfies my hunger to be understood, plays the inner tunes of my cries, reaches the deepest places of my soul, builds a wall of protection where I'm completely free and secure to be myself, is my only companion in loneliness when everyone seems too far away, holds my life with great strength in those weakest moments, assures me that I'll never be mislead, lights up my darkest path with her radiance, rhymes with my life's menace yet makes life worthwhile, 'cos Music, my best friend can be met up with only if I'm alive.
Music is my best friend that gives me more than just friendship - it's a sealed bond of complete trust and understanding that we share. How about for you? What keeps you mentally alive, in tune with your senses and wakes you up inside? Who's your non-human (or super-human:) best friend? And tell me why you chose that to be your best friend. Yes it's time for you to share your greatest leisure/relaxation pursuits with me. In other words, what are your most pleasurable and healing means of escape to reality? Yes I said escape TO reality, not from :) Because to me reality is best friend Music, for she's the only one that breathes and speaks reality, and can escape anytime to, from this messy illusion. My Music, thank you for being there for me in both good and bad times - no one else ever did that so perfectly and without expecting anything in return. I listen to her, she hears me.

Monday, September 26

Ever-lust-ing you!

Who considers Lust a sin? Well if you do, then you're still living in the stone-age while Lusting half the time even without knowing it. This is not according to me but according to Prof Simon Blackburn of Cambridge University who is attempting to rescue that lusty Lust :) While lust, anger, envy, gluttony, sloth, pride and greed are considered sins, Prof Blackburn is trying to drag Lust from the category of sin to that of virtue. He defines Lust as "the enthusiastic desire for sexual activity and its pleasures for its own sake". He also states that if reciprocated, Lust leads to pleasure and "best flourishes when unencumbered by bad philosophy and ideology... which prevent it's freedom of flow".

I think he's got a valid point, don't you? Lust after all is part of being human. While one should not let Lust rule his life, it is pretty improtant to realise that Lust aint Mr.Evil either. What we have to do is take control of it and use it to give us pleasure while not hurting anyone else. What you have to realise though is that Lust can be very misleading and most of the time people think it's Love, when it's not. When you look across a crowded room and feel your heart going 'boom boom' and your shong shongs going 'yeyy yeyy' lol, with the delicate signs of sexual arousal, and you say to yourself "ok He/She's the one", you have to be very very careful. An article on Lust stated that actually it's not 'Love at first sight', but an ancient genetic programme kicking into action. It read "It doesn't matter if he's a potential wife beater or she's a terrible nag or wants to live in the country when you are a real townie. Apparently your genes don't take personality into account. They are on a one track mission to get you to have sex and reproduce. Scientific experiments have proved that, if your genes are different from his or hers, and he or she has a certain look, you'll be driven crazy with Lust." That was certainly something new to me. I didnt know about the gene factor contributing to who I fall in Lust with. It further stated that women are majorly attracted (falls in Lust with) to the scent of guys with totally different MHC genes to theirs' (MHC - major histocompatibility complex genes - don't ask me what that is :).

It also stated that "Those genes are apparently pretty powerful and combined with the 'attraction template' they are going to kick off a huge surge of 'Lust hormones'. Our body produces these hormones to make us want to have sex. This is determined by the programming in our DNA that says 'REPRODUCE'. The 'Lust hormones' are so strong that they often override every ounce of common sense." Ok no wonder many times I felt like I'm the biggest idiot breathing on this planet . It further read that "While our bodies are overflowing with desire, our brains are unable to make rational decisions. That's why it's called love sickness! So when those long term couples who claim to have fallen in love at first sight claim 'I just knew', they really didn't. Their genes knew they'd make strong kids with that person and they'd been programmed to fancy the way that person looks. It's pure chance that on top of the genetic and physical compatibility, they also have matched personalities." That's kind of shocking to me. Now I see why it is so easy for me to find Lust everywhere but so hard for me to find Love hehe.

So folks, next time you're irresistibly drawn to someone, apparently you should be patient for at least two years before making any major decisions. It said that it can take anything from up to six months to two years or more for the Lust hormones to die down and the pink clouds of 'perfection' to fade away, woooosh! It lastly stated "Give your brain an opportunity to check out all the stuff that we should be aware of before committing ourselves to marriage, buying a home or worse still making babies".

To be honest I really liked that article because it made a lot of sense. While there are alot of people who may really fall in Love at first sight, I believe most people fall in Lust at first sight. Later on it may or may not change into Love. As much as many of you would like to deny the fact that Lust drove you to your partners at first sight (I'm not talking about long-term friendship and then Love), well this scientific research says it is Lust indeed. Most of the time we see a guy/gal and we say she's hot, he's a hunk, her eyes are sexy, his lips are wow etc. These are lusty terms btw :) And the ecstasy, heat and the passion you feel sure explains that it's Lust not Love. And later on we date them and may fall in love and even get married. But mostly it's Lust that brought you together at first sight. But if that Lust never grew into Love later on, you are bound to fall apart and go separate ways. I am not afraid to say I fell in Lust at first sight with my ex (he was a hoot;-) and even though on my part it grew into Love, his Lust probably didn't - that maybe why we are no more together. While Lust certainly isn't a sin beware that it can mislead you, so make sure you learn to control it to treat you and others right. So has Lust treated you alright ;-) ?

Young lust...Happy just to be in lust
Never have to eat no dust
Everybody talk aboutYoung lust
You're dyin' and you're screamin' inside
Oh, you're guilty way before you been tried
It's crazy but you're diggin' it...Young lust
Young lust you feel it in the summertime blues Oh, easy when there's nothin' to lose
And baby you been missin' out young lust... ~~Young Lust - Aerosmith

Thursday, September 22

Oh My God!

It was very interesting to encounter an interview with God (even though it was s/w driven hehe), thanks to Avik. You may read my very brief chat session with God in that comment section :) I have always wondered what it would be like to have a real chat with God. Some people claim to have sessions with God in dreams or in instant visions etc. I have dreamt of various God forms and moving around with Him, but I never dreamt of having an eye-to-eye chat with Him. Sometimes I talk to Him in my mind and ask many questions that I never hear/get answers straight away for, but I somehow find the hidden answers in events that take place soon after. But I always wondered how cool it would be to have God sitting in front of me and answering all the questions I have for Him, reasoning my fears, assuring me that every good/bad thing that happened to me and my fellowmen was worthwhile and explaining to me the reason of my being, of this life and of Karma (deeds) and Moksha (Liberation). How great would that be? But ofcourse it could happen only in my dreams, and I often wonder if He's laughing at my this poor soul who does not know much about His great plans.

I have one question for all of doesn't matter what religion you follow, if you were ever given a chance to meet God, where would you take him to chat and what are few things that you would ask Him or do with Him? Towards the end of all your comments, I will tell you where I would take Him and what I would ask Him . So dive in folks!

Wednesday, September 21

Economical Riches

This morning on the train I saw a Sri Lankan-looking girl. Could be Indian, Fiji Indian or even Malaysian. She was good-looking, dressed up for work and was sitting in a corner when she noticed me standing holding a pole (I love pole dancing btw lol, just kidding!). She and I exchanged a glance that was obvious, so I smiled. However she didn't smile. It must be her nature, I don't know. She glanced at me many times but not once did she smile. But later on as I was listening to 'Dumb' by Nirvana, I realised something really magical. That one don't need to be afraid or feel inferior for being polite. That one don't need no big dreams and ambitions to be happy. That happiness is inside of you if you can find it. That simple joys bring the biggest kind of happiness. That it's not difficult to get there, only that you are not willing to and your priorities are all confused. Because smiling in itself has happiness embedded. When you are not trying too hard, you are happy. 'Dumb' song lyrics go like this, read carefully folks and you too will see what I mean:
I'm not like them
But I can pretend

The sun is gone
But I have a light
The day is done
But I'm having fun
I think I'm dumb
Or maybe just happy
Think I'm just happy (x3)....

C'mon guys it's not that hard to smile. It's not that hard to pretend atleast. It's not that hard to be happy for one minute, or is it? What does it cost you? Just a happy curve on your face won't take away your soul or even your joy, would it? Infact it would only make your otherwise dull face look much prettier. People think too much of themselves or maybe they feel they are too smart to smile at another and look humble in their eyes. But it's sometimes very normal and great feeling dumb as long as you are happy :) Don't go for the moon and the stars - just be a face that looks like the moon and the stars for another. Later on another Indian-looking girl got in and you wouldn't believe how pleasant she was. I was under the impression that she too can be a snob but to my surprise she smiled at me first and nodded her head at me as if she was saying Hi to a fellowman (or fellowwoman should I say :). Then it dawned to me there are people of all sorts in this world, we cant help that they cant help themselves. It's ok to smile people...actually it's great to smile. We all have problems and we all feel annoyed but I say willingly not smiling is self-neglect. You need to loosen up, bring out the kid in you and smile a while for it's one of the very few economical riches you should enjoy in life...use it for your health's sake guys :)

I think a smile speaks volumes than beauty or wealth. No matter how beautiful one may be, if that person doesn't have smiles to spare, the beauty is lost instantly. A smile is the most powerful tool you may own. It can build bridges between hearts and wipe tears that fell over years. A smile is the best weapon against your enemy. A smile can melt the hardest heart and cure the most painful heartbreak. So smile before you forget your own smile. Besides if you don't have a smile, just let me know...I have heaps :)

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. ~Charles Gordy

Tuesday, September 20

Life's a Barbie!

Ever realised how diffferent the new era's childhood is? It has taken a mighty step up in the ladder of simplicity. Childhood has become more beautiful and able with so many kinds of toys available at very low prices too. But are the children having enough fun and learning as much as they used to? I often wonder how my thinking would have been different if I was a Barbie-era child. I never owned a Barbie but I owned many other dolls that used to sing and talk to me :) But never a Barbie. At the rate my cousins' kids are collecting Barbies (from Californian Barbie to Indian Barbie!) I wonder if they have any time to even play with one. Whenever they go to the shops, all they want is another new toy and the house is full of toys, but I hardly see them playing with the new toys for more than just two days. What happens next is another new toy in town.

Sometimes I feel kids (both boys and girls) these days are overloaded with toys. They just don't know which one to concentrate on for few months before moving on to the next toy. In my childhood days I had few dolls for few years and I never begged my parents for more and more toys each time we went to the mall. I may be different (and I had other interests such as guitars and playing detective:) but guess many kids during my era never really asked for toys all that much and there was no peer pressure in school based on modern toys. The reason being beautiful toys were a luxury item at the time. And we got such toys on a birthday or for some other achievement. These days kids ask for a toy per shopping trip. I remember I got a bicycle as a gift from my parents and both my sis and I shared it. Nowadays one family buys a bike per kid. Also in my childhood videos and electronic games were a treat but now the kids don't ask for anything below PS2 or Xbox range gifts.

I remember as a kid I used to stare into rivers and ponds looking for fish swimming happily. I used to fly kites, play cricket, climb trees :), indulge in kids recipes, read cartoons and comic books, experiment watercolors, chase after yellow butterflies, bring lost kittens home and giggled till I looked really silly. While I'm sure there are kids from this era who enjoy nature and do alot of creative activities that enhance their various skills, I also know that a huge part of kids are pressured and misguided by too much innovation in the toys' department. Childhood should be nothing but childhood and it isn't something that can be defined by a certain innovative culture. It should be natural and left undisturbed by too many immobile activities. Toys should be creativity-inspiring and pleasurable at the same time. While we shouldn't deprive kids of today enjoying the innovative toys, at the same time we shouldn't allow them to over-indulge in them. A balance between creative activities and junk toys should be achieved so that a realistic view of life is developed in the child's psyche since childhood.

Next time you buy a present for a kid, make sure it's a meaningful item as well as something the kid likes. For my cousin's little daughter who is an ardent Barbie fan, I got a Barbie notebook (computer) for her birthday this year and believe me it's really useful to her with her studies and it's something she really adores because of the Barbie thingy :) She kept asking for it or a Barbie make-up set which I didnt think is really necessary for her right now so I got the notebook. So there's something the kid wants as well as something that helps her to learn as well. Life's certainly not a Barbie, so we really have to be mindful of what we choose as toys and how much of it we provide to kids of today. Buy the kids enough toys, that's fine but not so excessivley that they don't realise the value of having luxury toys. Toys also need to enhance kids' creativity instead of planting wrong messages that disillusion the little minds. All I can say is that Quality is more important than Quantity. Have a Tweedyful day ok ;-)

Monday, September 19

Sorry strictly prohibited?

Last night I was wacthing a true story of a woman (Kelly) who betrayed her older sister by having an affair with her husband. The sister sort of suspected it but didn't harass Kelly with it 'cause she was only 15 at the time and she thought it was just silly flirting. The night that her sister went missing, Kelly was having s#x with her sister's husband at home! The next morning they found out that the sister was a victim of car-jacking and horrible murder. This happened almost 15yrs ago and Kelly regrets every bit of it today. Though she's not involved in the murder she was ashamed of her double life and for knowingly cheating her sister. One important thing she said was "I never got to say Sorry to her, and now I will never be able to..." and she was totally devastated.

This is rather a heavy example but I don't understand why people find it really hard to say sorry when they truly hurt someone. It's only a simple word that expresses your regret in saying or doing something hurtful. I know it does not take away the pain caused but it will atleast relate to the other person that you are truly regretful of what happened. Hence I believe that people who don't want to say Sorry are really not repentant of what they did.

I have come across many people in my life that hardly use the word SORRY even when they know they have done something wrong. It's as if that they have a fear of this word (sorryphobia or something hehe), that it will hurt them instead, their ego perhaps. I don't expect their Sorry anyways because even if such people apologised, it would mean nothing more than just an empty word used for the sake of it. But I think by remaining insensitive they are doing THEMSELVES injustice and self-neglect, more than the persom affected. Because they are missing a chance of a lifetime to extend that hand of apology that if used would save them from great amounts of guilt, remorse and self-bitterness some other day. Usually young people are arrogant and don't realise the value of this word and some fine day, when they are old and grey, they sit in front of God and ask for forgiveness. What's the point? One person I know didn't have a good relationship with her mother and now that the mother is ill with Cancer, she's running around churches asking for forgiveness from God and to give her mum back to her. How can she even patch up the damage now that her mother isn't too well?
You are given a chance in this life to love and obey God...loving God is not praying daily or running to Him when tragedy strikes, it's about saying Sorry to the person you hurt, it's about thanking the friend who helped you, it's about realising that you can be wrong too sometimes, it's about being open to the other man's views, it's about making mistakes but realising they were mistakes and taking the chance to say Sorry...

Still SORRY seems to be the hardest word to say. Therefore don't leave a chance for you to cry some day not having the person you so wanted to Thank or say Sorry to. This is the ideal time so just say it, but make sure you mean it 'cause a Sorry without the feeling is not useful to yourself.

This is to my dad...not that I ever hurt his feelings but Im sorry that he never got to see me going this far in life...I'm sorry you were taken too quick dad. Just like a butterfly you quickly escaped my glimpse, but the vivid and colorful memory of you is as brandnew as today. That memory can't see me but I can sing to it...

Sorry, I never told you, all I wanted to say...
Now it's too late to hold you,
'Cause you've flown away, so far away.
Never, Had I imagined, yeah, living without your smile...
Feelin' and knowing you hear me...It keeps me alive...
Alive, And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together..One sweet day....
One Sweet Day - Mariah Carey.

Friday, September 16

The Look

Have you been a lucky recepient of the look of love? Well I became one this morning. If you look at this little guy what would your immediate thoughts be? awwww, cute, beautiful, innocent, sweet, adorable, honeypie, sugababe, loveydovey, candymandy, cupcake, coochicoo, I just wanna hug him etc etc isnt it? Now those are words used to express pangs of love and affection. So I call this the Look of Love, 'cause it stirred in me the feeling of Love. Now I know it might be different for you. And I know there are many other 'looks'. So tell me some of the other 'looks' you may have been the recepient or the giver of. The looks we give and receive are very important 'cause they convey important messages even without having to use a single word! Doesnt that make 'looks' very powerful? Body language combined with the 'looks' speak volumes. There's the look of disappointment, disgust, annoyance, contentment, sadness, excitement, fear, flirtation ;-) etc. I believe 'looks' are very important to understand someone's feelings as much as words and actions are. If you are not used to expressing yourself through 'looks', then it must be hard for people to understand how you really feel sometimes. Some people use certain 'looks' eternally to express their feelings (that's me btw :) but it's always not a good thing - 'cause then people can read your mind straight away and that can sometimes leave you powerless. One of the 'looks' I often give is tilt my head to the side, put on a fake smile, and give a 'you're royally pathetic mate' expression and the recepient often gets what I mean lol! Another 'look' I give is a simple wink and by that I mean 'you're just fantastic!'. I have also received countless 'look's both good and bad and I kind of like it 'cause it's clear then and there what he/she feels. But I know you cant be obvious with certain people and yes it's wise to choose the audience you want to express yourself to. So you tell me if you're a 'looker' or a 'lookee' or both ;-) I mean are you someone who often express yourself immediately by facial expressions (or some sort of body language) or are you someone who likes people who express themselves immediately or are you both? And what sort of 'looks' do you often use or you're used to receiving? Remember this means all kind of body lanuguage and I mean without using any word at all. Just some weekend fun :)

Wednesday, September 14

Suspicious Minds

'We're caught in a trap...I cant walk out...because I love you too much babehhh...':) I think that Suspecting without a reason is the biggest damage anyone can ever do to any kind of relationship. I have seen so many people falling apart or marring their own happiness by suspecting the other. If there is a real reason to suspect your partner, spouse or friend or whoever it is, then that's called for and you should talk about it. But suspecting someone for no valid reason, such as for petty issues is really not acceptable and I really think it's stupid. Then ofcourse there's no real trust in the relationship and there's no point in the two being together. It's not worth depriving someone else of their freedom, making them feel trapped for your own selfish gain - it's like keeping an ornament in your cabinet just to soothe your senses. One of my friends was continuously mistrusted by her boyfriend and she couldn't handle it any longer, so she finally broke up with him. To be honest she was not wrong, just that he was always insecure. After all, Love is not about suspecting the other or getting jealous for being themselves. If you are restricting your partner that freedom then you are not fit for a relationship, neither would your partner want to be with someone like you, unless he/she is used to being dominated. Imagine your partner innocently joked about with someone from the opposite sex, would you suspect her/him of betraying you? How silly would that be? That kind of possessiveness shouldn't be tolerated. It's easy for me to say this but even I find it difficult at times not to be suspicious. We are human and we have feelings but we need to carefully assess what crossing the boundary really is. If it's jeopardizing your realtionship then that's something to think about but if it's just making you go green then you need to sit back and think. It's really not worth emotionally draining your partner with baseless suspicion. After all, if your partner is really not making you happy then you always have the choice to leave than tiring yourself and your partner with suspicion. People are not objects, we can't make everyone happy and neither can everyone make us happy. You have to let go of possessivness and allow freedom and personal space between you two.

I always believed in the following quote and I always try to stick by it. There's nothing in this world like having a free mind.

~~If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...~~

We do not possess anything in this world, least of all other people. We only imagine that we do. Our friends, our lovers, our spouses, even our children are not ours. They belong only to themselves. Possessive and Controlling friendships and relationships can be as harmful as neglect. It's really is forcefully neglecting your partner's freedom.
So think about it...have you been suspected for no valid reason and how did you feel then? Or have you suspected someone else due to just plain jealousy and made their life hell even for one minute?

Tuesday, September 13

The Indian Man

Alright it's time I wrote something about the typical Indian man. If by reading this anyone feels that I am prejudiced, well you are wrong. Because I don't mean to generalise all Indian men here. I'm only talking about the typical Indian man so hold your horses ok :) Besides having lived in Sri Lanka, now living in Australia and knowing many men of Indian and other backgrounds, I have quite a good comparison weapon called experience - so whether you like it or not, be prepared for some of your egoes to be stroked and that is ONLY if this applies to you. You're most welcome to criticise my point of view as well.

~~Keshi puts her helmet on...

**I believe most Indian men are selfish. They want everything in life - personal, careerwise etc, but they consider girls shouldn't have dreams...because they believe that girls are meant to be wives and mothers some day, that's about all. Talk about human in-equality!
**Many Indian men don't like smart women. Such women make these men feel inferior...kind of insecure feeling that will make them dislike those women. They don't like a woman who stands up for herself 'cause they don't believe that a woman can do that. Excuse me, God gave women brains too, just accept it and move on.
**I just know that some Indian men want their women to be servants all their life. Just take a look at the Indian families you know...majority of the women are housewives, washing dishes and clothes, taking care of kids, trudging behind their husbands eternally holding the lamp of dedication. How about 'sharing' the marriage and some responsibilites, and some personal space and freedom?
**I have seen most Indian men talking with their a##. In other words, it's total bull-sh#t and hypocrisy in total disguise. There are some Indian men who say 'She's immoral wearing clothes like that'. But really how many of those men fantasise such women behind those 'Im so holy' looks? How about shedding the fake?
**I've known too many Indian men who are momma's boys, making themselves look like puppets running behind mummy's saree. Many Indian men marry through proposed marriages even if that means dumping his life-long girlfriend. Doesnt bother him 'cause culture and family comes first and you know he's totally culture-drunk. What about common sense and a bit of manliness?
**Most Indian men are afraid of being told what to do 'cause they are downright stubborn. They don't want to be open to others' views...they are arrogant and they think they just landed from the planet of Mr.Know-It-All. How about some openness?
**I have known Indian men who are still frozen in different stages of evolution. They beat their wives and think it's the most manly thing to do. How about teaching yourself to be human before even thinking of being a man?
**I have witnessed most Indian men treat women like sex toys. Pinching Ladies' bottoms in buses and staring at the chest forever is their favorite past time. How about some respect for women?
**When it comes to marriage, many Indian men want a profesionally qualified and very fair virgin ofcourse. She has to be able to cook, dance, sing, perform, clean, breed and die if he asks her to. But most of these men may well be fat, dark, short, bald, have slept around and don't know the ABC's of cooking/cleaning, dancing or making love for that matter! How about some reality check?
**I know that most Indian men lack manners. They don't open doors for ladies, never say thank you (especially if it's a woman who did the favor) or sorry (the hardest word for them to say) and don't know the words 'excuse me' or 'beg your pardon' 'cause it makes them feel as if they are begging! How about some common courtesy?
**And last but not the least, most Indian men are penny-pinchers. Even if he takes a girl out on a date, he will pay only for his expenses. He would cancel the dessert if that saves him $5 and will fight for the 50c sauce to be free of charge. And if there are freebies he will take many of them home, not just one. Being economical is one thing but being cheap is ugly.

Having said all that I know there are some great Indian men too and please know that this is NOT for them. It's mainly for the men who don't seem to go anywhere in life other than within their own little backyard. So yeah those men please listen, get a grip, you are in the 21st Century or is that you haven't mentally entered it yet...btw the World Wide Web is here too but you are caught up in your own Web of Self and still live in fossils of too much culture that has blinded you so strongly. Loosen up, enjoy the ride and most of all be a MAN. Because if not, who really lives underneath your attractive shirt and pants is the guy below :)

Monday, September 12

No Right Turn

I drove to the Beach on Saturday...a usual place we dote on during Spring and early Summer (late Summer in Aus will fry you trust me:). The beauty of the late afternoon skies and the waves kissing the sands...the city lights in the far Northern sky and the planes taking off and landing - yes one coming when one's going...reminded me of opportunities in Life. Anyways what captured my attention was 3 dogs running along the beach with their owner. One dog was totally crazy...she was not following any rules and was just being totally herself. When the other dogs were running in one direction with the owner, this one was running the other way and enjoying every bit of it. The waves hitting her small legs and she was woof woofing at the waters and then running again.

It was really very interesting to watch this adorable thing (let's call her Tessa) - while the other 2 were running quietly beside their owner, following all the rules, obeying the instructions and watching every step carefully, Tessa was doing it all wrong...but she was having fun while the other 2 were looking quite bored but wanting to be in control. While they were running keeping themselves away from the water and looking so matured and in control, Tessa was breaking all thr rules, losing control but having the time of her life. What else you want her to do - she came to have fun na? The owner stops for a while to call Tessa back and then she turns around and runs behind him for a while...half way through she does her own thing again :) She stops, nibbles on something on the sand, stares at the water, woof woofs at the waves and jumps back and forth.

As she continuosuly did that, the No-Right-Turn sign came into my head. Although this particular road sign means you can't make a Right turn into that street, in this instance it joined with Tessa's journey to form a different and a valuable revelation to all of us. Tessa was delivering a very important message. She was showing us that there's no predefined 'right' turn that will take you to happiness. Turns can be in any direction and taking risks even if that means breaking from your routine and exploring the other side is what really matters - that's the 'right' turn. People are afraid to break the conventional way of thinking and living. Being out of control freaks some people out and they set themselves standards that they don't seem to enjoy at all - but they just live by it because if they go out of it, it feels like they are doing something wrong. But what are they gaining from it - nothing but being the same all their life - no adventure, no excitement, no new discoveries, no new connections and hell it's boring! It's good to go by the rules but hey it's just good only. Take a so-called 'wrong' turn and you may be surprised of how 'right' a turn it might turn out to be. It's better to be a tad more free and adventurous. So what if the rules are calling you back, go back only for a while like Tessa did and always come back to mischief - 'cause just see how many new friends and dicoveries Tessa made. Go on, be a bit more of what you really should be...seize every opportunity as soon as it lands before it disappears back into the air like that plane that just took off. Break the rules as long as it doesnt hurt anyone...have fun and be mischievous like Tessa is. Stop to meet new friends on the beach, to smell the flowers on the side, to see the starfish on the shore, to hear the sound of waves touching the sand, to feel the sand that's under your feet and to taste the salty waters every now and then, just like Tessa did. Have something exciting for the end of the day to reminisce back upon. Don't follow someone that others might wanna follow. Take risks, be different, enjoy yourself, not the rules...'cause there's no real 'right' turn you see.

Thursday, September 8

Gardening Tips...

I'm not much of a gardener myself but lately I developed a strong interest in maintaining it to provide a little bit of sparkle to myself and to everyone around me. Now, have you stepped into your garden lately? If not this is the time for you to check it out, the careless way in which it may be growing and the weeds that may have deep-rooted themselves destroying the health and beauty of it all. I came up with some gardening tips for myself and for you, lets hope it helps all of us in some way.

Keep the plant of Ego pruned every so often. You must have this plant but you shouldn’t allow it’s branches to grow too long that it prevents the sun from reaching the plant of Selflessness. Water the plant of Selflessness every now and then, so that it grows healthy enough to sway it’s branches giving some cool breeze to the plant of Generosity. Feed the plant of Generosity with enough nutrients so that it won’t be malnourished by staying hungry for too long. Have those merry garden gnomes to excite the plant of Humor. Relocate the plant of Greed to a dry corner so that it will just survive with nearly no effort. Next to it, place the plant of Conscience so that they can talk often to each other. Check the plant of Conscience every now and then so that you know it’s in good shape. Make sure the plant of Honesty grows in full strength so that it shadows the plant of Deceitfulness. Keep the plant of Deceitfulness in the dark so that the plants of Loyalty and Faithfulness can get a bigger share of sunshine. Build a pond of tranquil waters to keep the plant of Humbleness always damp and alive. Trim the branches of the plants of Jealousy and Envy as soon as they start to grow too thick. Have stones and rocks as solid friends for the plant of Strength. Bud the plants of Friendliness and Kindness so they bloom happily together. Let some grass grow to retain your plant of Originality. Cultivate the plant of Peace close to your window. Install tiny garden lights to cast brightness to the plant of Despair. Wean the plant of Foolishness off the walls. Bring down the plant of Pride to a moderate height from where it used to hang. Take the bugs off the plants of Hope and Dreams and let them grow without others throwing obstacles. Grow some Cactus that add to the variety of the garden, that may also help slow down the plant of Prejudice. Nurture the plants of Care and Beauty by using the best fertilizer you can find. Let the plant of Expectations grow without much care. Use a scarecrow to shoo away the pesky birds that chatter nonsense and attempt to ruin your plant of Courage. Move the plant of Hatred in to the wilderness so that insects will diminish it's life. From the wilderness bring the plant of Love back in to your garden, because it’s time for it to start living and growing again. Once these tips are taken into consideration and adopted into your daily gardening routine, you will have a new plant growing there soon…the plant of Bliss. Immerse in the Lotus-like flower of Serenity and the Mango-like fruit of Contentment that this plant of Bliss brings to your garden of life.

Wednesday, September 7

The unfelt touch

Have you ever had a forewarning of something that's about to take place? If you did then you have a gift...not necessarily a pleasant one though. Everyone is aware of their five basic senses, touching, smelling, seeing, hearing and tasting. But did you know every one of us has a brain region that clearly acts as an early warning system (the sixth sense), one that monitors environmental cues, weighs possible consequences and helps us adjust our behavior to avoid dangerous situations? Yes each and everyone of us has it, just that some of us have it tuned better than the rest. You may feel these people are gifted - yes they are when it comes to avoiding danger but not when it comes to seeing the unseen and hearing the unheard. Eerie as it may sound these are the people who can communicate with the spirit world. I'm not sure if I totally believe in spirits but I was forced to after seeing one...most of you know that story and actually I don't want to make that the highlight of this post anyways.

I read this somewhere: 'Following the Asian tsunami, scientists struggled to explain reports that primitive aboriginal tribesmen had somehow sensed the impending danger in time to join wild animals in a life-saving flight to higher ground'. That situation I believe is the sixth sense being useful and helpful as it can be sometimes . But everyone is not so conscious of their sixth sense, that sense of otherworldliness, a connection to something greater than their physical senses. This untapped territory of your brain is the doorway to the world of the unfelt touch, unheard communication and unseen encounter of a being from the spiritual world trying to make a contact with a being in the physical body. Whatever the religious beliefs you may have about spirits sometimes prevent you from believing in the sixth sense and ofcourse most people fear the unknown. There's nothing to fear about this because it's a normal part of the human psyche. If one should fear something it should be our fellow human beings because they can beat you up just to get your wallet but the supernatural beings (if any) won't and can't do that :) Look at this concept through scientific spectacles...when you want to listen to the radio you need to tune it to a particular frequency to listen to what you prefer, which is done by mechanical means. Same as this you need to tune into the frequency of some other element in the unseen world to have contact with it and that uses the means of mental focus and the desire to do so.

The strange thing is some people don't even have to tune their sixth sense...they are born with it being tuned perfectly. I don't have the ability or the desire to communicate with spirits - no I don't see dead people lol but I see alot of dumb people such as the ghostly muitilated brains with no senses at all, leaving dorky comments in blogs. However, most of my dreams (pleasant or not) come true. And sometimes I can tell what's about to happen even when the situation is nowhere near predictable. I don't mean big world events like the destructive hurricanes (wish I did so I can forewarn everyone :)), but little things in my daily life. Worst of all it's the dreams that freak me out sometimes. If tonight I dream of a friend visiting me tomorrow, well he/she would be at my doorstep the next day in the same clothes as he/she appeared in the dream. I know that I have an above average sensitivity to premonitions. In addition to the dreams, since I was about 7yrs old, I have been having a recurring vision of a car accident (one in which I see myself driving and falling off a cliff that kills me). I sometimes feel that this is my sixth sense rocking to the melody of 'Innuendo' (by Queen) but I'm not sure if that vision is 'suggesting' me something that I should act upon or it's something from a past life (if there really is such a concept). I have no idea but it aint going to stop me from driving or living life happily. If anyone of you know what this vision may relate to, please be kind enough to tell me even if it's downright torment to do so, thanks.

Having said all that what can we call this sixth sense - seeing through? Anyways, have you or anyone you know ever being tapped by the sixth sense?

Monday, September 5


These lips are trained to smile while the heart is bleeding…closing these eyes to block the tears from escaping…somehow they flee these weary eyelids and follow the dried trails of their old mates…smile, I say keep smiling...isnt this a happy world built within a world of gloom and doom...the sounds of guitars used to strum that pain...the pain is so numb now not even those chords can reach it know I used to be it's only a faded watercolor memory...a memory of someone who used to be...a skeleton of my very soul...remnants of a chain of hopes who's dismantled beads can never be is just a moment in time...a flash that graces the Earth just once...a bag of dreams that once opened will become empty real empty recyclable bag...

Tired of being trapped in these freezing heights...tired of being misguided...burnt by the flames of Earthly desires...drowned by the sea of misunderstandings...shrivelled by the drought of unforeseen love...the rain never came...brutally beaten by stupidity...suffering by these cancerous dreams...wanna throw this mask but my wings are frozen...mauled by the sharks of emotions...I stumble, I fall, I get up...only to be blinded by the light...the more I know the more I don't see...deafened by the horrible silence...muted by the hands of fate...hush now for you shall not speak...teased by these foolish games...slapped by my own will...handicapped by the the terminal crash called life...haunted by the depths of I will not fear the fall for I have mastered it now...laugh at me for I don't care...who really knows to love anyways...I came alone I struggle alone...angered by the smirks of destiny or whatever that is...the way it should be is just the way it should's just not meant to be. No over-the-counter medication for the unquiet mind and it's loud voice, excruciating pain...prescription invalidated.

Friday, September 2

Smells like NO spirit

hello hello hello hello hello...hehe Kurt Cobain sang that part the best. Bet most of you heard the song 'Smells like Teen Spirit' by Nirvana. To listen to this song go here and select #5. Smells like teen spirit. Tragic he died so young - that guy had talent. Whenever I listened to this song I used to wonder what exactly he (Kurt wrote that song) meant by the words. What exactly is teen spirit? No it isn't the deodorant 'Teen Spirit' that skyrocketed it's sales after this song became a hit :) I think teen spirit is about being youthful, stupid, happy, mischievous, rebellious, obedient and enjoying the best days of your life. Atleast that's what my teenage years were like.

Unfortunately most teenagers of today are not anywhere close to this. They are stressed out, over-worked, pressurred and setting themselves standards that's almost impossible to achieve nor maintain. Teen spirit is lost somewhere in this mess. I feel teenagers of today expect too much from life and are expected too much from as well. Where are the days when teenagers were just teenagers? Alot of unrest has been born that most teenagers these days don't seem to know what peace, respect, discipline and happiness are. Most crimes in Australia are carried out by teenagers (car jacking, home invasions, traffic offenses, suicides, murder, sex, drugs, alcohol, schoolyard crimes etc). I'm sure most of you would have heard of the Columbine tragedy and numerous other school shootings by teenagers. These things never happened few years ago and so why now? The only peer challenge we had back in school was being gossipped about or a little bit of teasing...not a mate with a gun in his hands about to shoot us down! I cant even imagine how I would feel in such a situation.

I think most familes don't realise that teenage years are the most important foundation years of a child. For it to be healthy and stable, and not to tarnish the natural teen spirit, I think parents need to spend a lot of time and effort on their teenage kids. Most don't bother 'cause they think teenage kids are 'mature' enough to handle things on their own. Some may be so but not all. You need to be there for your kids and make sure they become an asset to themselves as well as to the society, not a lost child that ends up committing a crime that's irreparable. I understand that certain circumstances put kids in dire sitautions, and that's exactly what should be prevented.

Reading the lyrics of the song again and again and seeing beyond what my naked eye could see, I realise that maybe Kurt had troubled teen years. Leaving aside the fact that he later became a very popular musician, maybe he too was a very unhappy teenager not being able to reach goals set by the family/society, not being accepted for what he was...not being 'loved' enough. There's some hidden rage in the lyrics...masked disappointment...some anger at the world/God. This suppressed rage could have grown over the years and finally lead to his suicide. I don't know, it's just a possibility 'cause no one really knows why he died. And really he didnt have to die - it was necessary for him, but an unnecassary loss to the music world.

Here are few lines from the song. I have chopped the repetition. Tell me what you gather from this (you may really have to listen to the tempo and his voice to understand his notions well) . And don't forget to tell me what your teenage years are/were like, who/what has the responsibilty to guide the teens and why so many teens have lost interest in goodwill these days.

~~Load up on guns...bring your friends...It’s fun to lose...and to pretend...She’s overboard...Myself assured...I know I know...A dirty word Hello (x 16)

With the lights out, it’s less dangerous...Here we are now...entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious..Here we are now...entertain us

A mulatto...An albino...A mosquito...My libido...Yea I’m worse at what I do best...And for this gift I feel blessed...

Our little group has always been...And always will until the end

And I forget...just what it takes...And yet I guess it makes me smile...I found it's hard to find...Oh well, whatever...~~

-Kurt Cobain

Oh innocent Rose bloom beautifully...don't let the gloom around you fade you before your time...