Thursday, November 29

Dumb-Blonde Moment #341954

Illegally Blonde
'Keshi can I check your hair-roots'. That's a line that one of my work-mates used to tease me with, when I said/did totally dim-witted things....and trust me, such moments are not rare in my life. Infact they are rather common ***puts on a fearless James B-l-ondish face***. This post was inspired by Cinderella's recent post. I had started writing my own post on this topic ages ago, but something didn't allow me to finish the post. It seeme to go on and on. Why was that? I realised I had started writing the post 'Keshi's Dumb-Blonde Moments', and since such moments were countless in my life, the post was endless too LOL! So when I saw Cinderella's post that listed only 2 of her DB moments, I decided to limit my post to 1 such DB moment from my rather fashionably blonde life so far. Hence this post and that title. Now you know I hold a grand status in society from that very DB factor in my blood. Atleast I do it with style ok! So here's my DB Moment #341954 and this is the latest incident in my life. Read it at your own peril!

An Eternal Bond With 'Blonde'

Last Wednesday I bought a Thai Chicken Salad for lunch. They put the salad in a plastic container and poured alot of spicy Thai dressing on top it was almost like a soup. Then they closed it with the lid, put it in a paper bag and gave it to me. I carried it to my office building, then in the lifts and got off at my floor. Just then I met my boss who was waiting to catch a lift to go down. I said Hi to him and he said Hi too. And as I opened the floor-door, I forgot about the liquid in my lunch box and held the box upside down ***CODE RED: Dumb-Blonde Moment alert!***, smiling so beautifully at my boss and yakking as usual, expecting everything to look so heroic - you know, lunch box in one hand, opening the door from the other while talking too - it made me feel like Bionic Woman! Tragically for me, the hot and spicy dressing had escaped through the sides of the lid and have now started doing a Thai dance on my black skirt. And guess what? I was not even aware of it yet. Surprised? Don't be. Cos there's more to this Thai dressing catastrophe owing to my lovely DB genes. My boss probably would have seen the liquid all over me (I'm embarassed to the core!) but he got into a lift and disappeared (probably the wisest thing he did at that moment or else I'd have poured it all over him too). I walked in through the door (still not realising the very smart DB act I have just committed) , walked to my cubicle and hey presto I managed to feed some Thai dressing to my desk too woohoo! Cos as I placed the box on the desk, it was upside down anyways. That's when I finally (om shanti shanti shanti!) realised what I had done - HALLELUJAH glory be! The whole scene probably took about 10secs to unfold, but so much has happened in that small time frame and it proved that the DB factor in me is quite unbeatable - going very strong! Now my desk looked like a Thai river and my skirt looked like a Thai kitchen. I smelt as if my new shampoo was made of a Vinegar variety, and my whole desk-area smelt like a Tom Yum Soup company. Not to forget, I managed to spill some on the very clean office carpet as well. Panic struck! The legendary DB quickly ran into the office kitchen, got some cleaning agents and paper, ran back to her desk and started cleaning like a maniac. Then one of my work-mates (dammmmit and it had to be the Bon-Jovi lookalike!) came over to ask me something just when I looked like I was in the middle of a Tsunami, trying to rescue my desk area and myself. He took one look at me and left without asking anything (no surprises there). There was no way I could have washed my skirt (cos I didn't have change) so I continued working for the rest of the day smelling and feeling like a Dumb Blonde made in Thailand!

So yeah there's definitely a Dumb Blonde in me. Share with me my LATEST DB moment, I mean YOUR latest! ***Keshi keeps her brain in the microwave to warm it up***

Your's Fashionably,
Keshi Blonde 007.

Current Music: Atomic by Blondie

Wednesday, November 28

Life After Love

I wanna convey my deepest thoughts to one of my blogger friends here. Recently it seems that she is 'dwelling' on her breakup with her ex-BF in a real unhealthy manner, and it really made me wanna shake her to reality. All her recent posts disturbed me to the core. I know that it's her blog and she can write whatever she chooses to write, but as a friend, I couldn't just sit and watch her deteriorating that way. You may think I'm being heartless, but sometimes I come out as a mean witch when I tell my friends what they don't wanna hear...sometimes you've just got to be honest to bring your friends to their senses. And that's what I did with this friend over the past few months...but sadly it seems that my advice has being taken very wrongly...i.o.w. I've been misunderstood not only by her but also by few regular visitors in her blog, calling me names, that I don't KNOW her at all, that I'm being mean to her etc etc. And why? Only cos I suggested that she needs counseling! And that final suggestion came after alot of sympathising at the beginning, thinking that she'd change. In my opinion anyone who don't think their life is precious just cos of a BF who doesnt even care abour her, NEEDS COUNSELING. And by that I don't mean they are going mental. I'm shocked at how some people look at Counseling as if it's a shameful thing. Anyway that may be because they don't know the correct meaning of Counseling. Now you all know that even I can brood over something quite royally...but then again, you also know that I get over anything real quickly, right? That's one of my strengths and I'm thankful for that trait in me. One thing I can't stand is brooding over a long period over something that's not worth your time and energy. Also, while none of you have met me in real, I believe you all KNOW me well enough to give me advise on almost anything that I'd want you to help me with. Why do I say that you all know me well? Cos my blog is where my heart speaks...every little detail that my heart conveys is written over here. So who else would know me better than you guys? I don't think even my non-blogger friends know my emotions this well! Therefore I feel quite shocked at being told I don't KNOW her well enough to advise her etc etc. Well in my opinion, through a blog one can read another's deepest emotions quite well and that's enough to KNOW them, unless ofcourse it's lies that they are saying. Anyways this post is for anyone who's going through a painful breakup. Please understand that this post is not to belittle anyone's feelings. It's for everyone to realise that you CAN survive a painful breakup without killing your sense of self-worth. So here it goes, take it as you like it, and I'd like to emphasise that if you feel bad by reading this post then it maybe cos truth always hurts.

What a girl goes through when she breaks up with her boyfriend is not a new thing to me. I have been there, faced it, cried rivers, felt like I couldn't go on etc etc. I too wallowed in sorrow and self-pity for a while. I just had to do that cos it's natural to any humanbeing post-breakup. My relationship with him was for few good years. But it didn't take me a century to get over it, neither did it make me lose my sense of self-worth. Cos fortunately I realised what's gone is gone. And that love cannot be forced or begged for. If you love something, set it free...if it comes back to you, it was meant to be...if it doesn't come back, it never was your's. I believe in that quote very strongly cos it applies to any relationship. But I agree, it is very hard to concentrate on anything immediately after a breakup...the whole world don't make sense then. It feels like you can't go on and that you've fallen into a bottomless pit. Hang on, stop right there! Who's making you feel this way Keshi? It's YOU. My boyfriend has moved on so what was I still feeling sad about? Why do I have to cry for someone who's not worth my tears? I say it's cos I lost my LOVE? Ok so what is my LOVE? If he isn't in the picture anymore, if he decided to end it, is there any LOVE? I guess not! I may still love him but he doesn't love me enough to stay with me right? So to hell with it, I PREFER TO MOVE ON! And that's exactly what I did. Back then I didn't even have a blog or so many friends to talk about it..I didn't have the means to write a single post/poem to vent out my feelings...nobody was around to lift me up or give me a hug. But 'I' was there to lift myself up - I had to do it, cos it was I who put myself there in the first place right? The road ahead me seemed very long and it didn't look all that exciting to hitch-hike again on, but I wouldn't know how exciting it would be if I didn't try walking again right? So after few months of feeling like I was crawling on the floor and bleeding to death, one fine day I just got up, wiped my tears, started taking care of my open wounds, and continued to walk again. That's when my Love for him ended for good. And it was a clean end...cos I didn't look back with self-pity or tears. And yes, the road ahead was much more exciting than I thought it would be! The new journey found me a new and stronger ME who started loving and respecting herself first. My broken heart was back in full form.

Now to the most important part of this post. Think about this...what if I had I not moved on? Had I continued to cry over him for longer than that, had I kept on feeling sorry for myself, had I kept on bringing back the cosy memories from the past, had I kept on dwelling on a relationship that was no more, had I not gotten up and taken one step down that new road, what would have happened to me? I would have ended up being obsessed. And in that process, I'd have started imagining that this is indeed my LOVE for him still going on. Well guess what, it'd not have been Love'd have been just Obsession in disguise. That very love is no more but you have a new addiction - and that is that love and the breakup itself. Alot of us fail to see that. I'm not a psychiatrist but I can easily tell the difference. How? Cos Love doesn't beg, love doesn't make you weak, love doesn't make you lose your self-respect so much that you think you can't live without that person, love doesn't swallow your self-confidence and self-esteem so much that you get depressed to the core, love doesn't make you want something so badly that you forget your sense of self-worth...but Obsession can do all that to you! Love teaches you to have patience, to respect yourself, to let go and live...but Obsession makes you paranoid about living without someone, it makes you fully dependant on someone and it makes you miserable longing for someone who don't even care about you! And that's the difference between Love and Obsession. And trust me obsession can lead to serious consequences. It may start off as a little bit of craving but too much of it over a long period of time can be self-destructive. It's the same as love of eating ice-cream...but what happens when we over-indulge in that love? It becomes obsession. We may not realise it before it's too late and that can be devastating. I believe that at the end of Love, Obsession waits for you, longing to begin. Always beware of that and never give Obsession a chance cos it can swallow you up and make you forget yourself. Also know that love happens and it can end too...learn to let go for we can't force our love on someone can we? So when love ends, cry a little bit, then say goodbye to it, pick yourself up, keep your head straight and remember not to welcome Obsession who's waiting around the corner for you to say Hi!

Yes we all fall in love, those Loves
sometimes end and we all hurt, people find new paths etc etc but guess can happen again too! Love is so broad-minded that it gives you 2nd chances in life. I'm not saying a brandnew person will soon replace what was in the past in your life (I myself hate it when someone says that to me), but my point is, don't get so hooked on one person...a person that doesn't even care about your feelings. You are smart, beautiful and loving...know your self-worth, regain your self-esteem, realise new things about you, learn to respect and love yourself before loving someone else. Life has so much to offer and your happiness don't depend on anything has to come from within you. And if you have so much love in you, channel it to someone/something else that may appreciate it better. Discover the many possibilties of self and life.

This song is for those who ache in silence. Know that there is life after love, and that you will survive. Cos I did, and this song helped me alot to gain that strength. Enjoy and take care of yourselves first cos YOU deserve your love! Learn to let go of what's holding you back and set yourselves free. And please share with me your breakup-survival stories...would love to learn from you too!

Current Music: I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor

Monday, November 26

A Little Mermaid's Tale...

One of my favorite things to do is spend time with Kids. And believe me, some of my cousins are the parents of some very cheeky cutey-pies I have ever come across and they make my life very very colorful. From ages 1 and up to about 6, these babies have become a big part of my othewise somewhat boring life. If not for my lil nieces and nephews, I don't know where I'd channel all my energy and crazyness to, cos I'm such a kid myself who I believe is stuck in an adult's body :):). These kids really make me forget my troubles and be myself without having to worry about being judged. Kids are so innocent and honest about anything. So spending time with them, no matter how short the duration may be, they are what I call fairy tales...and these are the small fairies in my my life.

So here are some very cute pics from last week's bday party (the 1st bday I was talking about) as well as yesterday's bday party of 3yr old Loshi - my dearest cousin brother's little daughter. She's one of the lucky ones cos she had a Barbie bday cake made for her, by her own aunt (my cousin sis) and I thought that cake was just STUNNING! Have a look at how great a cake-maker my cousin sis is! So yesterday I had a really wonderful time with my lil toddler team - they simply colored my day. Apart from the bday pics, I have also included some of my crazy shopping pics...yes once again, inside the fitting rooms and all LOL! Also, I had a very busy weekend taking another cousin's husband around (cos he was here on a short business visit from NZ), shopping, dining, driving around and then it was Loshi's bday party yesterday. I have included captions for each picture as if Loshi is taking you through this fairy tale. I'd like you to tell me what your favorite pic is and why...thanks! Hope you all had a fantastic weekend too. Enjoy the pics, and hey Happy week ahead guys!

This song is for Loshi sweetiepie. She loves this song and wiggles her little body to the rhythm of it...and I like this song too LOL!

Update: Updated the song to another dance fav of Loshi and the team, and this is one of my dance favs too. I do these dance moves with the kids hahaha!

Current Music: I Like To Move It (from the movie Madagascar)
Current Music Update: Las Ketchup - The Ketchup Song by Asereje

Thursday, November 22

Weddings And Marriages

One of my closest friends in Blogville is getting married this weekend WOOHOO! She's none other than the ever-elegant, loving and beautiful Silvara! She's an Indian Aussie living in Melbourne (closet-nympho like me) and she's getting married to her Sri Lankan Aussie sweetheart Evs (Craig-David lookalike btw ***wolf whistles***. Blogville is the only place I can wolf-whistle cos I cant whistle like that in real haha!). Silvara dahlin, this is a brandnew beginning for ya babez...I know you've been through hell of alot, but everything will be alright now - trust in that ok. I wanna wish this beautiful couple all the very best for their future - may their love keep them warm and blessed for many years to come!

Silvara's wedding is proof to one of her closest dreams taking shape. We all have dreams but only few of them truly take shape in life. And when a dream comes true, we must celebrate it to the max. As a little girl, I dreamt of getting married too...some day to a Prince Charming, me wearing a white gown and a beautiful lacy veil, him looking at me longingly. ***Shock bell rings***. Yeah right, wake up Keshi! That teenagerish dream kind of died when I started meeting men LOL! It was like they were not Prince Charming, rather Prince Harming. So a wedding was out of the question for me, let alone a marriage! Ok I know there are great men out there too (I can hear all the yadda yadda yadda at the back) and that alot of women find their soulmates etc etc BUT - 'but' is a very BIG word you see :). So yeah, BUT, not every woman finds her soulmate as Silvara did (they have been in love for years and they have all the elements to prove it). Some women settle for any man just so that they own the 'married' tag. Now why am I saying this? Cos the following happened 2 nights ago:

I was talking on the phone to my fav cousin who lives overseas. We both grew up together since we were babies. We were just inseparable and we still are. We used to play, celebrate bdays together, knock on doors and hide, get in trouble, we even had dorky crushes at the same time in our lives, did sneaky things together behind our parents' backs etc etc. So you can imagine how close we are. She got married very very young. So when I was on the phone with her on a long happy chat, she said something that somehow upset me, though I didn't tell her that straight away. We were talking about another girl we used to know (she got married recently to a boy that her family didn't approve of), and suddenly my cuz said something like this: 'Atleast she's married'. I somehow didn't like that statement. What does that mean? Atleast she's married so she has a better status in life than a single woman like me does? So, I lack something major in my life? I somehow felt that's what she intended by that line - cos you know my instincts told me so. Now I know my cuz very well...she's married to someone she loved at the time, but her family didn't approve of it either. Now her relationship with him is not so great. Although they live peacefully at the moment, they really don't have a relationship. She even admitted to it...she told me that they are like flatmates and that's about it. And another cousin of mine who's got 2 young kids is on the verge of separation from his wife. And a close young friend of mine has a violent husband (the one I blogged about in the DV post). Another friend has a husband who don't even talk to her - they just exist under the same roof, that's what their marriage is all about! And another close friend got married recently, and his wife has already left him and gone back to India for good. Whoaa looks like I come from the Guiness Book's Divorce Community LOL! So has 'being married' helped her or the others I mentioned here to have a BETTER life than of a single person? I don't think so. I'm not laughing at her or demeaning her marriage or anyone else's, but I'm laying out straight facts on the table. We don't need to hide the thorns and make it sound like it's paradise when it's not. Marriage isn't a total fairytale either, it's hard work I agree, but if the marriage certificate is the only thing alive about it, then it's no use either. Marriage can only be real when there is true love, respect and understanding between the partners, like how Silvara and Evs, and some other friends here in my blog have it. Otherwise we don't need to be married...if you don't have those elements in your relationship, spare us all from the agony and please stay single people! That's what I'm doing btw :).

All in all, I got offended by what she said, no matter what. Now why did I get offended? Not cos what she said was true, but it made me feel sad that even my closest loved-ones look at me through the eyes of traditional beliefs and using senseless measures such as a man is a MUST in a girl's life for her to be valued. If she didn't mean it that way, then why did she say it? It somehow made me feel that she's hinting at me that being single is ridiculous or it means that something's wrong with me...and that being married (even if it's a bad marriage), is better than being single. I didn't say anything to her at that moment but just today I wanted to tell her how I felt about that statement of her's. You guys know that nothing can stop me from speaking my heart out, so I just had to do that or else I'd have gone mental thinking about it ***rolling eyes***. I wanted to let her know how I felt too. So I txted her. This is what I wrote

hey I was wondering about what you said last night about being married - the line 'atleast she's married'. Maybe you meant that for me too cos I'm still single? Here's my point...I don't think one has to be married to be successful in life. If marriage is so 'necessary' in life I can just go and get married to any guy out there. Life isn't all about finding just anyone to settle with. And look at our own family's marriages...are they all happy? I guess I'd rather be single all my life than be with the wrong man. Marriage must come with love, respect and understanding...not just cos I wanna be married. So if the right man don't come around, I'd be quite happy to remain single and independant. Just thought about it this morning...that's all. TC n HUGS!

I felt good telling her how I felt. Cos she just had to know. She then rang me later on and said that she didn't mean anything like that. So maybe she said that cos she doesn't know what marriage really is? I don't know, some people use words without thinking how they would affect the other person. Or maybe I'm just mad! o well Man or not, some day I plan to don the white dress and take some photos cos I'd just love to dress up as a bride. :) Actually, cos I'm such a big mushpot I better not have a wedding..cos if I did, I'd fill it with all the rosy romantic songs, colors and dances that the guests would be throttled with too much sook and would really wanna leave before lunch! BEWARE of a massive Mush attack if you're ever invited to Keshi's wedding! (I can picture Guests in anaphylactic shock due to a romance overdose). So yeah let me save some lives by being single. btw me and my cuz are ok. We just needed to be clear on this...I told her how I felt, that's all.

Today's music is for the beautiful couple Silvara and Evs. You 2 make us believe that there is true love out there indeedz and together you can make your dreams come true. I wish you both all the happiness in the world! Have a fantastic wedding on Sat babez MWAH! You're gonna look gorgeous I can't wait to see the pics! And HAPPY HONEYMOONING TOO ooh lala ;-)! Silvara here's my e-wedding-pressie for ya at Kama Sutra. LOL I know I'm such a lusty biatch! Just don't break your neck/back darling.

Current Music: The Power Of Love by Celine Dion

Wednesday, November 21

The Poet In My Heart

It's my best friend's bday today! The above photo with her was taken few years ago on my bday at my place (look how stupidly happy I look LOL!). She's one of the very few REAL angels I have come across on this Earth. She's originally from Turkey but was born in Germany, and was brought up in Australia...pretty much a cultural fruit-salad like me ***rolling eyes***. She's got very lovely dark curly hair (in the above pic she's put her hair up so it doesn't show much). I remember how we first met...we were in our first year at Uni and were in our Algebra tutorial. I didn't have a pencil for some dorky reason so I asked the girl seated next to me if I could borrow a pencil...she then turned and gave me the BIGGEST smile I have ever seen! LOL she was so darn cute. She quickly gave me a spare pencil, and eversince that we were like the lead and the body of a pencil...INSEPERABLE! :) Later on our families met each other too and we all became great family friends. We learnt about each others' cultures and taught each other great many things too. She's a very fit, sporty girl who can climb mountains, bellydance beautifully and row boats when all I can do is just sit and watch hehe. I used to go stay over at her place in Artamon in Sydney...and she used to come and stay with me too. We went bush-walking together countless times, cooked together, drove around like maniacs, beached til Bluebottles got our bottoms, celebrated NYE so many times together, had crazy boyfriends at the same time, sat for the same yukky Uni exams, went to each others' family BBQs and trips, was there for each other in ways that words just won't do enough justice. This angel has helped me to move houses, was there when I bought my very first furniture and have been there for me in my toughest moments when no one else understood me. Her mum and dad are like my mum and dad. And she calls my mum 'Amma'...just the way I call my mum. I have never met another person like her cos she's totally down-to-Earth, relaxed, beautiful, smart, caring, loving, sensible, exciting, fun-loving, crazy like me and most of all a great HUMANBEING. She has a way about her that makes me believe in the goodness of this world. I can't explain it in's just so very special. And she never gets angry...even when I lose it, she just sits quietly. It's hard to find true souls like her. Unfortuntely she moved to Turkey recently for work purposes. Her family is still in Sydney but she now works and lives alone in Istanbul. Although I speak to her on the phone every now and then, life has changed heaps for me eversince she left Sydney. It seems like everything has frozen in time and has come to a sudden stop. She had such a huge, magical effect on me. I postponed writing about her in my blog cos everytime I think of her I have tears in my eyes....:*(

I spoke to her this morning to wish her for her bday...guess what? I had rung her exactly at 12am Istanbul time (about 8am Sydney time) right at the dawn of her bday! I didn't have a clue but we were both so excited, we chatted, giggled and caught up with each others' lives. She's still single like me...every man that comes along in her life seems to be the kind of men I meet too. It's official...apart from being great mates, we are both great Jerk Magnets too! Anyways, this one's for you're the poet in my heart that keeps me going, so please don't ever stop being you. I know we will grow old together too and will look back at the crazy times we've had over the years and laugh til our dentures crack LOL! I miss ya tonz S!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAHLIN have a good one MWACCKKKKZ! These 2 pics of us show how tan I am and how creamy she is :). And look at her beautiful smile!

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.

BUT - Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles
are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by
yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering
you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf,
and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you, or
come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters,
sisters-in-law, mothers, grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins and
extended family all bless our life.
When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the
incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead, nor did we know how much we
would need each other.
Every day, we need each other still.


Current Music: Sara by Fleetwood Mac

Monday, November 19

Do You Still Remember?

On Sat I went to a 1st bday party of a cousin's baby girl. I was surrounded by little ones from ages 2 and up...they were so adorable! They were telling me stories about kindy, pets they wanna get as Christmas pressies, some were even talking about DISCO parties...they were all so chattery. I was in total bliss among these babies, and the eldest among them who was 6yrs old told me that I looked like Californian Barbie..LOL so darn cute! And then she delivered a speech about being a doctor for a day. It was remarkable! My other cousin's little 2yr old girl was asking me what my name was and if I was a teacher, hahaha! And my 4yr old nephew was telling me that he's getting new skin on his hands :):). So very sweet. I was amazed at the level of knowledge, wit and intelligence these kids carried at such tender ages - it's just commendable!

And kids these days are also much more privileged. The toys they own, the clothes and shoes, the accessories, the countless number of activities they take part's just amazing. The bday cake was a huge doll-shape (her fav doll) cake that cost $300 (I took pics...haven't uploaded them to my PC yet). I thought that was a bit too much for a cake. I know they can afford it but $300 very well could be someone's monthly salary! If I had a baby and it was his/her 1st bday, I'd make/get a small cake worth not more than $50. I'd want to teach my kids that life isn't about how BIG you have it, it's about how BIG you give. Some parents these days spend more than what they really can just to impress their kids. Now is it necessary to impress your kids? I know that it's really a personal decision, but to bring up a child with so much of luxury is a bit dangerous to the child's psyche...atleast that's how I see it.

When I was a kid, all I ever had was one fancy doll named Helen (yes Helen it must have been a sign!:)) that talked and sang, which I got as a pressie from my uncle who's in NZ now. Also I had a set of building-blocks that I was very fond of...some dearly loved story books...and few clothes and shoes. My parents were the average earners, who could afford what their kids needed but who never wasted money. We never got what we WANTED...we only got what we NEEDED. We went to a very good school and we had our basic necessities, and that was all that mattered - my parents spent for us where it was necessary. I don't even have a 1st bday photo. Do you? The only bday photos I have were of my 6th bday or so. And I remember my aunt made cakes for us on our bdays and we had small bday parties at home for my schoolmates. And after my 15th bday, I never celebrated my bday cos my dad died before my 16th bday. I never even felt bad for not even having a cake for my 16th and the 21st. I don't even remember what I did on those bdays.

My parents did their best to teach us that in life we don't always get what we want...that we have to earn our living...that we need to be simple about ourselves cos there are others who don't even have 1/10th of what we have. As children, the activities we used to take part in were not fancy dance classes or swimming lessons that my parents needed to pay fees for. We swam in the local rivers and lakes...we climbed trees...we mixed with children in the neighborhood and rode our bicycles til we had no breath left in us...we had everything and it was all free. My favorite past time wasn't playing Playstation, it was watching the lil fishes in the stream at my grandparents' place. My parents didn't have to spend loads of money for us to socialise or learn new things. We had it all and we were natural kids who never asked for BIG things. I remember I never asked anyone for a present...I accepted what I got but I never expected. Cos we were taught to enjoy the finest things in life, which are often the only free things in this world...and that there are other kids in this world who don't have even 1/10th of what we have.

Thanks mum and dad (if you can see this)...I still remember how you brought me up...cos I can SEE today what this world is all about, because of what you etched in me. Long live those engravings of love-and-life in my heart! May we always think about the less-fortunates...may we never forget!

Current Music: Viva Forever by Spice Girls

Thursday, November 15

An Ode To Angels & Co.

Do you believe in angels? I don't mean a hunky John Travolta with wings standing in front of you. I'm talking about the invisible silken caresses when you least expect one...the soft hug that's felt without being seen...the gentle whisper in your ears during a quiet moment...the magical call when the time is right...a silent piece of golden advice. Do you believe in such events? I do. In life we tend to believe mostly in things that are visible, audible and tangible. But can you see strength with your naked eyes? Can you hear courage with your bare ears? No but we do feel them, and know that they exist. I believe in alot of intangible treasures...and I believe they are angelic influences. We have so many instinctive abilities within us and they can only be felt when we are ready to feel them...when we are ready to see beyond what the naked eye can see...when we are ready to hear beyond what the bare ears can hear.

I have often felt exhausted by life's illusionary crap and have been on the brink of giving up...but somehow something/someone touches me softly, right when I feel I had lost all hope. A voice within me tells me to go continue...that nothing is unbeatable. One day I was in tears and I was washing my coffee mug at the sink...and just then I felt a gentle touch on my left shoulder...I really felt it. As if to say 'this too shall pass, so cry and move on Keshi'. It was AMAZING! I turned around to look who it was...there was no one. I really don't know how to explain what it was...but all I can say is I truly felt the touch. On another day, I was walking down the street feeling so lost (regarding a personal matter at the time). One young man appeared from the crowd towards me. I don't even know this guy...he was an ordinary bloke wearing a white shirt and grey pants. He looked at me and said 'Why are you looking so take this, everything will be ok'. Before I knew it he had placed a small silver pendant of Virgin Mary in my right palm and suddenly disappeared among the crowd. I was totally surprised. Now he could have been anyone...maybe a devout Christian spreading his message. I really don't care where he came from or what his beliefs were, but what he said to me at a time I needed to hear it the most and how things turned out after that (it all worked out well), really had me in awe for months. It was a divine call to wake my deepest instincts to believe. What about certain signs we receive sometimes? Just yesterday my colleagues were having a chat about their dads when we went for a walk during lunch...and I wanted to say to them that my dad was a Police officer, but I kept quiet for some reason - maybe I didn't want to think about him and feel sad...and in that very moment a police officer walked past me! He doesn't have to be there cos this was a walking track. Somehow I felt a strange connection to my thoughts and to that event that took place just then. And here in Blogville too I feel that strong presence...the people here somehow (apart from few), have always come to my rescue at my most difficult times. I'm not saying that the number of comments I get is a blessing...what I'm talking about is the quality of the affection and support I have received from some people here - you know who YOU are. It's amazing. It has helped me to stand in the rain without getting washed has helped me to climb the mountains without falling has helped me to stay focused in ways I could never have even has kept me alive when I was bleeding to death. It is a very powerful influence. All the positive energy in Blogville is a combined angelic effort bestowed upon each other when we need it the most...or else you and I should feel nothing about this place.

I think alot of people fear to scratch the surface and look deeper. It's amazing how life has all the answers yet we struggle to find them...we continue to blame life. But if we choose to see beyond what the naked eye can see, we will see. It isn't so complicated. It's right there in front of you, but you choose not to see it. Some people laugh at such stories...they think it's all fake and too gullible. But I believe in higher powers that guide us...and I believe we have the abilities to feel these powers if we allow ourselves to. We just have to tap into these abilities and finetune them to be in touch with the unseen touches.

I'd like to dedicate today's song (watch the video, it's beautiful) to all my angels in disguise, who watches me as I sleep, who caresses my invisible tears, who hears my call, who lifts me up when I can't walk, who takes my soul and let it soar high up in the skies. This song was dedicated to me by Bev in her blog yesterday. Somehow I felt watched over listening to this beautiful number and it's a fav of mine. How did she know? I felt someone was in touch with my soul...that they knew what I was feeling like and wanted to get in touch. To me that was an angelic gesture, thanks Bev! And this song is now for all of YOU too...cos we look after each other in angelic ways. Enjoy!

And please share with me your experiences...

~~It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed
You've been on a road
Don't know where it goes or where it leads...

Current Music: It Doesnt Matter by Alison Krauss

Tuesday, November 13

Bloom Burn Be

Ever felt like a freshly baked muffin? Well right now I feel like one :). Fresh, warm, aromatic and delicious. There are days when you feel like dirty rotten fridge fungi. But there are amazing days when you feel so a newborn. It's one of those days and I want to enjoy it...cos they don't always come by. Life is don't always have incredible days, just like how you don't always have questionable days either. So what does that mean? That means Life is like a powerpoint slideshow with happy and sad slides, one after the other. Do you want to wait till the end of the slideshow to see how it finishes or do you want to hit Escape key halfway through? I prefer to wait and see what's instore. But there are times when I do feel like shutting it all down. Not cos the slideshow is full of messy slides (trust me I should be able to cope with ANYTHING by now!), but I just get bored with the knowledge that it's all going to end anyways. And that's not good. Cos, so what if it's all going to end? So does everything else in life. Every feeling, every moment, every phase straight or crooked, every opportunity, every relationship, every kiss, every touch, every smile, every tear...they all end somehow. Nothing lasts forever. The scars, memories and the love will remain...but sooner or later, every tangible thing has to end. We often choose to dwell on the sadness but not on the happiness. Why? Are we scared that that happy moment will end soon? So what...let it end. But lets enjoy it while it lasts can we. Cos in life you can choose whatever you want to be...a dancer or a plumber...a happy person or a sad one. And they all last only for a while anyway.

My point is, when you feel as spanking new as freshly made lemonade or as immaculate as a newly bloomed flower, just revel in it...when you are lighting up the night like a bright candle, burn to the fullest...when you have your moment of joy, live it to the max. Don't doubt, don't procrastinate, don't hesitate...just grab it and shine full on. Cos it's not gonna last...just like how the flower would wither away...and just like how the freshly baked muffins wouldn't last long either...the moments shall pass too good or bad. I wanna feel this freshness fully before it dies...I'm the NEW kid in town...and I'm only here for a while.

UPDATE: Alright let me tell you how I feel about some people who visit my blog. While a great many of you truly appreciate my existence here in Blogville, I know a few are just bluffing. I really don't care what you think about me, but if you don't feel a certain way about me, then go ahead be honest instead of coochi cooing me with sweet nothings. I wholeheartedly despise liars and fakers. After my PASHionate Stories post, I realised alot of male bloggers here either chose to keep quiet about it or dropped out of my blog altogether. Some are even snobbing me around. WHY? Are you jealous? I can't understand that. This is Blogville and I'm one has the right to be jealous about who I kiss and what I choose to do. Besides, that post was done all in the name of FUN. For goddsakes don't you guys know how to have fun without getting personal? And for some others who thought I was a slut, FUCK OFF! Do I care what you think about me? NO. So you can shutup. If people can't get past a kiss without feeling so paranoid, judgemental and irritated and that too on the net, then it's not my's YOUR problem. Don't come here telling me that I'm beautiful blah blah blah if you truly don't feel that way about me. If you think I'm a needy whore, so be it. I know who I am, so nothing you say is going to change me. The true colors of some people were very evident after that Kiss post, and I'm glad that I posted it. Now I know who my real friends here are and who wears a pretty mask just to yak bullshit.

I started blogging to get away from my demons in real life. I wanted to be alone, I wanted to be ME without being judged, I wanted to stop the tears atleast for a while. And what do I find in Blogville? The same old frikkin shit. I'm really tired of some messed up mentalities. So those who made me feel this way after showing me false affection and friendship, a big THANK YOU for nothing!

See the first half of this post...I thought I was having a good day, only to find out that it was just a stupid joke, cos some people live to steal the good days out of others' lives. Who am I kidding ha..Keshi should never have a good day cmon! See how quickly the 'good' feeling died. Please don't come here and comment if you don't like who Keshi is... I'm outta here folks!

Current Music: New Kid In Town by The Eagles

Sunday, November 11

PASHionate Stories...

WARNING! Brace yourselves babehs, cos this is going to be one hell of a long, steamy, sultry, sugary PASH, ooops I mean POST!

My my that post 'Kisszophrenia' got some hot emotions pouring in! I loved witnessing so much LOVE in Blogville. How sweet is that ha! Also it had me buried in beautiful and romantic kisses by so many HOT bloggers who wanted to kiss me, such as Iceman, Southy, Mutley, Fish, Ghotsy, Raffi, Dhruv, Amit, Ori, Peter, Chap etc etc. I was hospitalised for few days from all the SWEET trauma of it LOL! I sure am super BLESSED to be in a Kiss-coma! They all had some steamy, unique and romantic enocunters outlined for me - thanks guys, each one of you made me feel very special - mmm I 'd kiss you back voracioulsy! HE and Beach_Bum you 2 had 2 magical kisses described...but you didn't tell me WHO the bloggers were. Those were some super kisses guys, your women are super lucky!

****Keshi tilts her head and ponders upon such kisses all over her**** ;-). btw some females wanted to PASH me too haha, bloody cute! And my my, the girls here had some great kisses for some lucky guys out there too. My female friends here are a HOT lot you know! And guys please don't forget to check out Helen's unique take on this here. That was just brilliant!

Well ALL the answers were not short of AFFECTION. And that makes me happy, that we bloggers love our fellow-mates here and those secret kissing fantasies were bloody adorable! And I'm glad you all LOVE someone here no matter what kind it was :). Love is all we need guys. Now I admit this post wasn't an easy one and it takes some guts to pick a blogger and write about the kiss openly. So THANKS all for being brave and taking part in the FUN (you all knew that life is too short not to take part right?:)). I really appreciate your honesty guys, I really do. MWAH you guys rock! There a big KISS from Keshi to ALL of you.

Now to the WINNERS...hmmm it was very difficult to pick just one winner each from Male and Female categories. I was torn between all the sizzling kissing descriptions while dreaming about em hehe...I really couldn't pick just 2. Unfortunately I had to do it anyways ***Keshi sits down with a sad face while eyes roll***. So I chose the winners based on the clarity and relevance elements in your answers (meaning sticking to the subject of the question plus giving the name of the blogger you were kissing). Some didn't give the name of the blogger so I couldn't count those answers as perfect entries for the competition, since it would be unfair on those who were brave enough to name the kissee. And there were no favoration in selecting the winners. This was a totally unbaised, strict elements-based decision ok. So here they are:

And THE BEST MALE KISSER is...*****drum roll*****

Congrats RAFFI!!!!!!!!!!

What he wrote contained intensity and purity, and it was absolutely a beautiful kiss! I could almost feel it. Do listen to the song and watch the video he linked here as well. It's just amazing! Here's what Raffi wrote:

Keshi and i would meet up. our chemistry from the start would be overwhelming. our desire to get to know each other would be insatiable. we'd walk and talk and talk and walk. like adult children we'd laugh and smile, all the while becoming more connected on an indescribable and undefinable level. we'd go to a record store and listen to a song together. the song being just right in describing our thoughts. our intense affinity for each other made our hearts race. we liked each other and wanted to touch each other. but we wouldn't. we'd feel scared and exhilarated all at the same time. we'd continue to walk, talk, and explore. as we stood next to each other watching the waves, the sun would be swallowed up by the ocean. the golden-red hues of the sky would highlight our faces as we looked at each other. our eyes would lock and nothing else mattered at that moment. the fear was gone, and only passion remained. we'd slowly move closer to each other, our eyes would not stray. as our lips were about to meet, we stopped and looked at each other deeply. we closed our eyes and softly our lips touched. heaven, pure heaven. we pull back and open our eyes. our bodies feel magnetized to one another. we put our arms around each other and move in closer. the kiss that follows can only be described as something that transcends explanation. all that needs to be known is the passion of that very kiss could cause the sun to rise right out of the ocean which swallowed it.

And THE BEST FEMALE KISSER is...*****drum roll*****

Congrats Amy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amy's answer was pretty short but not short of 'electricty' at all. Whoaaa that kiss was MASSIVE! It got me tongue-tied at work reading it LOL! So here's what Amy wrote:

All in the name of fun I choose Abhishek. Link: what would i do to such a sweetheart? :P hahahaLets see...I love savoury kisses. Where you explore the lips. Suck on it lightly. Do not give in entirely. Keep him wanting. Mess with his tongue teasing. And finally give it to him fully. I love kissing.

So there you go! The 2 FANTASTIC winners Well Done! Raffi and Amy are gonna please 2 very lucky souls some day mm mmmm! Please note that each and everyone of you had FANTASTIC answers. It was too hard to just pick 2. But like I said before, I just had to, and I judged all answers based on the elements I described before. Even then, it was hard to choose, but ultimately I just had to choose 2 - I seem to keep saying that #%&*$$#@! :):) SO THANKS ALL FOR PARTICPATING! We all had FUN :) and that's all that matters ha!

Now here is my answer :). While I want to Kiss every male blogger here (you guys are too hot!), unfortunately I wont have enough space to write all my naughty would require a bus load of blogs to describe Keshi's notorious mental flings ****looking very annoyed not being able to write it all here****. So the one male blogger I chose to kiss in this post is Grunty at I want to kiss him this very moment if I could, cos he's hot, kind, loving, smart and I know that my kiss would make him feel alot less stressed out from what he's going throught right now. I want him to enjoy a moment of heaven in the midst of all the mess he's dealing with right now. So Grunty this is especially for you...MWACKKKS! Here is 'THE' kiss:

Grunty and I are in the bush all alone, surrounded by trees, total silence but the sound of water and the shades of a twilight sky...we have a lil bonfire lit up. He's standing near a brook, in his denims with his bare hunky back staring at me. He seems to be thinking deeply. I tip-toe slowly behind him and towards him...when my face is only inches away from his shoulders, I start running my fingers gently on his back...from top to bottom, and with my breath on his back. I'm drawing sensual lines on his skin and I could feel his body responding to it...slowly but surely. He doesn't turn around, not yet...and he sinks into the pleasure of my fingers' frolic, standing there feeling every bit of my delicious message that sends electric waves through his body. I then start planting small and gentle kisses all over his back, kneeling down slowly as I work my way from his shoulders to his waiste. I can feel his body warming up with pleasure. I slowly stand up kissing all the way back up. I now put my arms around his chest from behind while kissing and tasting his nape slowly, with my face in his hair and my eyes closed. My hands are caressing his chest and sending chills down his spine. He turns around now with a look of being in total pleasure - his eyes dreamy and his face totally relaxed, all his troubles forgotten. We look into each others' eyes and without a single word exchanged, our hearts speak a thousand words to each other...and we both agree with every single emotion we are feeling. It seems that we have been waiting for this moment forever. I put my arms around his shoulders, with my chest leaning tightly against his...I sofly kiss his ear-lobes, his jawline, his neck and I arrive at his luscious lips...right there I smell his strong maleness and I start basking in it's taste. And then using my tongue, I slowly taste his lips, his gums, his teeth, his tongue so very soothingly...and he responds with a force, his blood rushing with desire. I caress every part of his mouth with my tongue as he does mine. He pulls me closer and we get locked in a sensual kiss that seem to savor each other like we have never done before...we become one - an affectionate and erotic creation of nature that can never be replaced with anything else in the world. Lips entwined in a tantalizing journey...wanting each other, needing each other, longing to relish every bit of each other, not leaving a single inch unexplored. We become each others' dream destination.

The rest that follows is a steamy Jane-and-Tarzanish secret people...go have a cold shower now, cos I need one too LOL!

Grunty this is all in the name of fun so I hope I didn't offend you or your GF (if you have one). Please don't dump me now. I value your friendship HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ mate! We are mates for life ok.

Watch today's video's not the orginal video of this song, but someone's done a great job capturing some very sweet and interesting kisses. So darn beautiful, so have a look. Kisses are universal and ageless, and just unavoidable! So revel in em and steal em when you can people ;-). Have a good PASHY week ahead guys! ***KISSES FROM KESHI TO ALL***

Current Music: Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer