The Battle

Is losing a hard long fight always a bad thing? I think if you fought the battle with all your heart and strength, then whether you eventually win it or not, you're a winner already. My heart goes out to Belinda Emmett (former 'Home and Away' star and wife of Rove McManus of 'Rove Live'), a 32yr old Aussie actress who died on Sat after a long battle with Cancer. I don't like it when newspapers have titles that read 'Belinda loses battle with Cancer' etc. Cos she did not lose, neither is she a loser. She had an incurable disease so how can you expect the girl to win? No one can. Not even the doctors can help certain patients so we cannot really term it as 'losing the battle'. I like to call it 'surrendering' or maybe 'co-operating' with the disease. Sometimes in life you can't always have things your way. Then you just have to surrender or co-operate. That's what happened with Belinda. She just had to accept her fate and go with whatever plans it had for her. But she didn't go without fighting. That's what really matters. It's not in the ultimate victory where true character resides. It's in the battle. And boy o boy she did alot in that short 32 years - she was a popular actress, she touched many hearts with her beauty and kindness, she fell in love, she got married while she was fighting Cancer, but through all of that, never did she allow Cancer to get to her. That's where her victory is. In life's many other situations, it's the battle that we must concentrate on. For the end results will surely come around some day...but the battle is what you have in hand and there lies your true victory...it is in the strength and heart you put into that battle.

I still remember when I first saw Belinda on 'Home and Away'. She was a natural and she was one of the kindest human beings ever. I hate the fact that someone like her came down with a terrible illness like this and that she had to leave this world at such a tender age. This is the kind of thing that amazes me about life. People are just here only for a while...some for a very short while...and then we go and hurt each other. It's just a big waste of time guys! Last Sat was not such a great day for me. I was having a crappy useless argument in the car with someone close and I wanted to be dropped off then and there, rather than having to put up with that kind of shit. I can be pretty stubborn and if someone don't treat me with respect and that too for no fault of mine, I switch off totally and I want to be left alone. So after being dropped off instantly on the highway as I asked to, I walked down that road with alot of drivers passing me by, giving me strange looks and some men even whistling at me cos it was a strange place for a girl like me to be walking. I felt weird and then rang up a Taxi and asked them to pick me up from the 'nowhere' I was at. I went home shortly after that and heard about Belinda's death on TV, and I was thinking that she would have been breathing her last breaths when all of that shit was happening to me. What a sad life we live and this is mockery at it's best. While some are dying unfair deaths, others are scowling at each other over trivial matters. I wanna be a better person and I think I am already a good person in some ways. But I don't understand why people walk all over me. Maybe cos I allow them to walk all over me. I tried and I tried and I tried...but I can never get some people in my life to appreciate me. It's a battle on it's own and even if I don't win it in the end, I know I tried my best to be loved. And the most important thing is that I appreciated and loved everyone who came across my life and I gave them the respect they deserve no matter what.

With Belinda on my mind, I wanted to say this to all of you. Treat your loved-ones with love and respect - mother, father, sister, brother, friend, neighbor....they are not just labels. They are hearts beating every second, wanting your love and appreciation. If you want love and respect, treat others the same way. You've got to give a little in order to get a little. And battles need to be fought, not necessarily won. We are all fighting many kinds of battles each day...and what matters is that we are fighting without giving up. And when the time is right, it's ok to surrender and that's not losing. It's accepting your fate. And if someone don't appreciate you the way you want them to, then just surrender. Just let it be and do your thing as usual. Never stop appreciating and loving others.

Have you ever cried for a total stranger? I have many times before and now for Belinda. I'll make it upto her...I won't let a single day pass me by without having fun and showing people I care. May Belinda's soul rest in peace! She died being her, giving her 100%. And that's a sure winner.

I dedicate today's music to Belinda's beautiful soul.

UPDATE: I have updated current music with a video tribute to Belinda that has been done by a youTuber. It captures many memorable moments of Belinda's life and is done with the song Angel by Sara McLachlan. Have a look if you have time.

Current Song: I Could Fall In Love by Selena

Current Song: youTube video - a tribute to Belinda