G'Day Mate, Om Shanti Shanti!

DISCLAIMER: Purely humorous but quite factual. Take it as you like it!

This post was inspired by the difficulties and awkward situations that youngsters of today's Indian immigrants face in other countries. I come from a Hindu and Buddhist background and Im originally from Sri Lanka, but now I live in Australia. My parents have lived most of their life in Sri Lanka and I have lived most of my life in Australia. Now I have been taught librararies worth of Eastern morals and values that I must stick to even though I live here. And to date I have never let my parents or my culture down. But what exactly is my culture? Even though I'm a Sri Lankan, I'm also an Australian. What about the Aussie values and morals? It's not that the Eastern culture doesn't have negative aspects either or that the Aussie culture doesnt have positive aspects. What I always thought was that no matter what one should never forget their origin but if you choose another country to be your home country, then you should learn, appreciate and get accustomed to the new culture too - in other words, take the good and leave the bad from both cultures.

So here are some funny yet awkward situations I face living in 2 cultures :)

Coming from a 'Curry' family (this is the slang term used in Aus for Indians) , I have been eternally banned from dating and if I meet someone I like, it would have to be at the risk of being lectured to death - and the lecture comes with a warranty for life. Dad onced bashed a guy who whistled at me - yes he did and that guy moved houses the next week. If I talked too long on the phone, my dad didnt like it - he suspected it's a dude whereas it was usually my silly friend with pigtails from school, duhhhh dad! Aussies don't put restrictions on calls for their kids and they grow up pretty healthy mixing with both boys and girls since childhood. I think that's a balanced way to bring up kids, with reasonable restrictions ofcourse.

Another strange rule I had to follow when I was younger was that no late-night parties or going out at night. As most of you might know an Indian girl's night out would be eating sweets in the bedroom listening to loud music till she falls asleep (sounds fun ha?). Or if I got the chance to go out, a gang of my cousin brothers will be walking behind me and one day an uncle joined us too - mannn that was pretty embarasssing! And mum always comes into my head saying 'when you are at a club make sure you don't take any alcohol because good girls don't drink and remember if you did that no one will marry you ok'. I remember one of my mum's friends' daughter got labelled a 'hopeless drunkard that's unfit to be a pati-devi' or what ever it is :). Btw she only had a glass of wine! Although I dont drink recklessly, Aussie girls drink alcohol but they lead pretty good married lives too, don't they.

If a friend asked you to spend the night at her place, my mum suddenly becomes the goddess of Purity who says that a girl is no good if she left home even for one night and that virginity is the best asset a girl could ever have - but mum, my friend isn't a lesbian duh! Even before mum says a NO with a Puri-sized 'O', my friend knows I wont be there anyways - right now she's puking thinking about our Curry attitude hehe. Btw mum means 'you better stay a virgin before marriage and protect our Om shanthi shanthi culture even if that means you are 40yrs and applying for retirement' (Keshi rolling eyes...). The only Aussie virgins would be the poor curry leaves in the trees.

Going out with family (there's no other kind of going-out anyways) is a must even if it was Uncle Ram who invited you for a vegetarian dinner with all the oldies chanting ram ram. You have to be dressed appropriately with no cleavage showing or legs left visible - excuse me, I have boobs you know that and I have legs, you know that too - ok then live with it! Anyways I end up going looking like an Egyptian mummy - the only part left uncovered is my face! When you go there you have to be very polite and not bored, even if that means you'll spend the afternoon going around asking 'would you like some fruit?'. Aussie girls don't follow their parents everywhere neither do the parents follow them everywhere and that's great in a way. Cos personal space and freedom should be given and respected.

O the countless festivals and gazillion Hindu Gods we have and being a Buddhist too, I have to celebrate an infinite number of festivals. I like them all but the rules that go with them are sometimes annoying. Like when you have to wait for the prayers to finish to eat something, otherwise God would get angry and all that drama. Trust me I have hallucinated food, food and food being starved to death in one such ocassion - the prayers were going on forever. I got up and went and ate an apple - too bad Aunt, I don't think you want me dead in your prayers, do you. Aussies let people get up and go if they are not feeling well or hungry, they don't tie you up with ridiculous rules so you can die a hungry devotee chanting 'om om om Im dead'.

Boooooo arranged marriages! Everytime your family meets up another curry, the first question they ask is 'Is your daughter single? Cos I have this friend who' s son is an engineer and is such a sweet boy blah blah blah'. I mean cant people just ask about each other's day and just go about shopping without trying to be the Lord of marital bliss. And being an engineer or a doctor is such a big deal for Indians. Excuse me mum, did you hear about Dr.Death J.Patel from Brisbane? LOL! And if the proposed boy is a nice person he should have a house and a car to go with the package, and if possible can you not 'date' him until the wedding night haha! You could be marrying someone who doesnt even know manners, but never mind daughter, he's an engineer na, so close your eyes and go get him. Aussies value human equality not the social status, and they would marry someone for their goodness not the job or any other status!

Meat is taboo on certain days and if you eat it before or after going to the temple you will be punished by Lord Shiva, you'll never see happiness in life blah blah blah. How does God have so much time to watch what we eat - I mean there are so many curries all over the world, doesnt God get hysterical by watching if we eat meat or not at certain times? Atleast I say sorry God, before I eat - I think God forgives often hai na :). Aussies even eat McDonalds inside the church but they don't get punished by Jesus and neither does Jesus look like he needs a holiday from watching what people eat!

If I'm going for an exam/interview, mum does a huge Puja in front of her many Gods asking them to protect me. She chases me around the house with a tray of incense and I went to many exams with holy powder all over my face. My Aussie friends used to ask me what it was. Anyways after a while they stopped asking. Then I used to sneak into the bathroom and take them off my face before stepping out LOL! God will forgive me again - I know He's good ;-). Aussies respect religion/faith too but they don't walk around with a cross nailed on their forehead to prove it!

Oh those omens! If you dream of a tooth falling off then someone in your family is supposed to die?? I once dreamt this and at the same time an old uncle was sick. I nearly killed him cos mum was so upset I saw such a dream and she was so sure someone is going to die, and it was that uncle. But he didnt die...actually he's alive and kicking more than any of us. If you see 2 blackbirds then you're in for a wedding surprise and if you see just one then it's apparently a funeral. But I have seen 2 blackbirds many a time but no wedding followed but if I see one blackbird I still run after it to find a the 2nd one duhh Keshi! Aussies are more logical and realistic than allowing a bird to decide their mood or the fate of a sick uncle!

Curry relatives and friends are so gossipy that it doesnt stop even if they migrate to Aus or even to Mars. Her daughter is going to get married to that guy, that guy is unemployed right now, this lady is having Diabetes, that friend just bought a car...etc etc. And if you meet another curry down the street, they immediately find a link between your family and their's, and hey presto you're talking to a distant cousin already! It's really annoying and I wish I could shut them all up. But I can't cos it cant be done by shutting the mouths, cos it's all programmed in the genes hello!

Now I don't mean to demean anyone's culture here. This is exactly what's happening among curry immigrants over here and I guess just as much as we have great cultural values and traits, we have some pretty negative ones too. Like I said before the best combination is to pick the good ones and leave the bad ones from both cultures, all you curry buddies living overseas :) and good luck!

Current Music: Pardesiya (Hindi Remix)