Imagine having no clue about sex and that you are about to experience your first sexual encounter. That would be really tough ha? Here are some funnies (well some pretty bad ones) from Keshi's imagination.The girl asks the boy to take off his clothes. And he says 'Ok darl I will be back in 2mins' and he goes to the bathroom to take em off. (She books him in for a Cranium re-fill)
Girl moves slowly towards the guy to kiss him and he moves away from her. She asks why to which he says 'Kind of nervous to ask you this but are you ready for kids'. (She looks around for a gun)
Guy tries to unbutton girl's shirt and she goes 'What the hell are you doing cos my momma always told me to unbutton my shirt myself, so keep off Mr.Whoeva-u-r!'. (He wishes for a sudden death)
Girl awaits half-naked for the guy to approach her and give her a kiss. Lo and behold he's reading Readers' Digest. (Ladies, now is he needed in this world at all?)
Girl and guy sits on the bed wanting something to happen but nothing happens. The girl says 'Kiss me creep'...and he says 'You called me a creep, I'm telling on you'. (o that Kindy charm!)
Girl slowly runs her fingers on the guy's back and he starts running around the room saying how ticklish he is and laughing like a maniac. (She dials the Mortuary)
Guy touches girl's waist and she faints in shock. (Hope she stays fainted forever)
Girl and guy kisses passionately and then the guy suddenly says 'OMG I CAN do it like they do it in the movies! And the next step would be to romp the bed yes yes yesss!'. (Would there be a next step?)
The girl says that they need to practise 'safe' sex to which the guy says 'I know...don't worry swt hrt, there's tight security in this block'. (oh ok then!)
Girl comes out in sexy lingerie and he goes 'wow are you on your way to work or something?'. (No idiot, I'm about to hang you)
Guy says 'I like talking dirty so can you say something dirty' to which she goes 'you do stink real bad, is that a good start to this dirty game?'. (She couldn't get any dirtier could she now?)
Girl reveals to the guy about her food fetish. So he waits for her at the supermaket's Pasta aisle with a blanket and a romantic CD. (hey George you can wait there forever)
Girl wants to role-play waitress and customer. He says 'why don't we go to the restaurant down the street and watch the waiters there?'. (He can go there but please don't come back)
Guy blindfolds girl and she goes 'Don't be shy honey you can undress in front of me'. (He blindfolds himself and leaves).Girl gives the guy a whip and he goes 'I don't wanna hurt ya, cos I might get in trouble with the Police??'. (She whips him to death).
Guy kisses girl all over and she goes 'OMG I might be pregnant already!'. (He cries)
Girl tells the guy to make her feel good and he goes and plays the song 'I feel good'. (lame I know, lol!)
The girl is waiting for the guy to arrive and he comes quite late with a huge copy of Kama Sutra. (She kills him with the book).
Guy says to the girl 'I've been waiting a very long time for this moment, are you ready for this suga?'. And she goes 'I practised it alot but he wasn't so good, I hope you're better'....
(uh oh!)
So how good is your SEXth sense? btw you too can create your own funnies and add to this post. Looking forward to reading em :).
Current Music: I Wanna Hold Your Hand by The Beatles
78 Cranium Signets:
Girl wears HOT lingerie under trench coat-garter, hose, heels, picks him up at work...He says "have to pick some things up at the grocery." Girl follows him into the story, hair teased and tousled, lips slathered with lipstick, totters down the frozen food aisle in 5-inch stilettos and flashes him by the frozen peas. Guys says: "Oh my god what are you doing?" Girl thinks "you're getting your own ride home baby"
Now I am either going to have nightmares or remember this and laugh at the perfectly wrong moment.
Either way, I am very afraid now...
hahaha, was a good read.. and to thnk most of these are VERY VERY likely ! :) like picture this..
hot girl in a club.. spots hot guy standing in a corner.. walks upto him and says.. i feel out of breath.. care for some mouth- to- mouth revival tactics? to which he says.. are u ok? shd i call in an ambulance?
girls thoughts- you sure will need one to fix all the bones that you might break in a few mins from now! :-D
have a good one hun! :)
only got dis to say...what a start to my day :D
he he now we know what all u'd do for a starter when u'd make lurve :D ... hmm
herez from me
guy watching cricket seriously on a rainy day, gal's desperate to get his attention. even dances seductively before him after adjusting the window blinds. he smiles, lifts her in the arms, takes her to the bed. he decides to drop her there, closes the door and return bak to watch TV :))
guy n gal r one over another (either way), luk'n into each others eyes. both waiting for the other to make the move. finally the guy decides to kiss and the gal gives a biiiig resounding yarn #-o ... guy faints unable to handle the breath :D
Girl answers the door wearing only a pair of high heel shoes. Asks guy "do you see anything you want?" Guy says "how much do you want for the shoes?" She puts his eye out with the heel.
Hi Keshi
Will the real Keshi please stand up? lol
How many people live in your brain? lol
Yes, I'm drunk! How can you tell? lol--just kidding lol
reply: post 61211-7651
OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOO good to feel you in my body!!!!!OH God!!!!
Not what you think.
Just a person with a mutiple personality disorder.
LOL
Hugs
Bev
Hahahaha... Me LOLing here. Nice post Kesh.
In a word: lol
In the heat of the moment girl is ready. Boy is ready. Boy says he knows what he is doing. Girl, winces in pain. "Wrong hole".
keshi...you had me rolling on the floor with these!! Thanks for brightening my night. I needed a laugh!
First of all, Keshi, I was having fun with the idea of butch gals and their hair. Second, girly girls are where it is at.
A man dies and goes to heaven. He walks up to the pearly gates and is stopped by Peter. The man looks in and sees people driving around in cars. The man asks Peter about the cars and Peter replies, "Well, the type of car you drive depends on how faithful you were to your spouse."
The man starts to understand and notices one of his former colleges, "Hey, that guy's driving a Bentley! We all thought he was a player."
Peter: "Nope, he was always faithful to his wife."
Man: "Oh wow, that's my old pastor! Wait, he's driving a damned 85 Honda."
Peter: "Yep, he was giving it to many in his congregation, I'm afraid."
Man: "Oh, boy. You know, I was really unfaithful to my dear wife. I bet I only deserve a Yugo."
Peter: "Well, something like that. Here's your Geo."
Man: "So, I'm sure my wife will now know all about my infidelities. What should I say to her?"
Peter: "I don't know, but here she comes on her skateboard."
Hilarious !
I loved the topic of your post :D
Everytime I come on your blog you make me smile or laugh & I adore you for that :) Hugsssssssssss !
Stay Beautiful...!!
Ha Ha Ha....lovely post for a Monday morning....:))
btw, how are you doing...was away...so cud not read ur posts last week.
keshi...im scared now. am never going to get married.
itll b the worst. men cant even have excuses...wat to say? its that time of the month?
hey did u read my friday posts? i wrote a few...before the poems..
thanx luv.
ohhhhhhh... lollll.. thats real real funnyyyyyy... hehehe
n i simply cant think of nything to add... mayb later.. :)))
:):) all u guys r laughing but when I re-read this post I felt it's soooo dumb. haha!
Keshi.
Helen haha that was good. WC n ty!
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Fleiger LOL dun tell me ur sexth sense is not good at all??
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s0ul I feel this post is really dumb...haha!
**girls thoughts- you sure will need one to fix all the bones that you might break in a few mins from now!
LOL that was a good one hahahaha!
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awww ty Desperado Hugggggggz!
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Samy hell na u cant imagine wut I'd do lol! How can u imagine that from this post? hahaha!
**he decides to drop her there, closes the door and return bak to watch TV
LOL!
**guy faints unable to handle the breath :D
haha thats like how I fired my first driving instructor!
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Jay heyy!
**Guy says "how much do you want for the shoes?" She puts his eye out with the heel.
ROFL!!! :)
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Bev lol I may be suffering from MPD? Who knows ha :):)
Cmon add some sadisitic funnies into this post..ur good at it :)
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TY Johno :)
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hehehehe Autumn!
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Awaiting heyy ty!
** Girl, winces in pain. "Wrong hole".
LOL hahahahaha!
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G'day Grunt!
**Second, girly girls are where it is at.
phewwwww Im glad abt that or what ;-)
**Peter: "I don't know, but here she comes on her skateboard."
OMG thats soooo funny LOL! hahahaha she didnt even get a car, how bad is that ROFL!
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awww ty Sugar HUGGGGGGGZ!
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WB Ektaran I missed ya! Im doing alright...hows u? :)
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Ghosty lol dun get scared...get married and then get scared :):)
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ty m000nie :)
Keshi.
Truly Hilarious..
Well Done, Keshi..!
With Best Regards,
Srijith.
hehehe nice post :)
When a guy is trying to make out with his gal and the gal is busy meddling with her mobile phone. He slowl progresses towards her and give her a kiss... and suddenly the gal burst out in laughter looking at some sms joke that she had :)
Guy says to the girl 'I've been waiting a very long time for this moment, are you ready for this suga?'. And she goes 'I practised it alot but he wasn't so good, I hope you're better'....
( ~x( )
...and he is bald like me ever after.
keshi dear… this I sooooo funny. I just don’t know how you can think on such funny n different things, which makes all of us feel happy n do a fantastic start of our day :)! Just laughed like anything on all the above things..
n yeah.. I give up.. just can’t imagine anything funny like this :D.
First times are always thrilling... as a matter of fact for everything... not only for sex...
I believing in just living it by the moment... and living every moment of it to the fullest!
LOL!!!!!!!!
wat a way to start monday!!
straight from civil wars to sexth sense.
**The girl asks the boy to take off his clothes. And he says 'Ok darl I will be back in 2mins' and he goes to the bathroom to take em off. (She books him in for a Cranium re-fill)...
n after the read cant hink of adding nething more
keep rocking!!
LOL. this post definitely will brighten up my Monday
Naughtiest post;) its funny too.
Hey keshi -I want to know-what's wrong with Reader's Digest -haha :).
hahaha,
thats hilarious...just imagining this actually happening...ur imagination is running wild girl!
She asks why to which he says 'Kind of nervous to ask you this but are you ready for kids'. (She looks around for a gun)
hahaha nice one!
Girl slowly runs her fingers on the guy's back and he starts running around the room saying how ticklish he is and laughing like a maniac. (She dials the Mortuary)
Lmfao
K lemme add one
Gal and guy havin a round of Champagne, and the guy is tryin to propose the gal with a ring in the glass
(Gal would prefer to gulp the ring than to marry him! Losa!)
Guy tries to spank the gal
Gal: I might prefer you , sitting on a cactus with your ass bruised!
People actually talk??
Ha Ha... this is so funny !!
I remember in my college there was a girl crying profusely one day in a corner.
When asked, she said one of the guys wanted to meet at the bus stop. And she was like..I'll get pregnant now, how do I show my face to my mom... that's how it happens in movies !!
Booohoooooo....
Hilarious. Haven't done 'it' yet -- ever. You're beginning to scare me...
i think you took me to different mood keshi ;)
I am BEYOND all that Keshi girl!!:D
Enjoy your time!Good collection and observation though, you clever girl!
I have good sense, but now that I have read what can go wrong... that thought is going to fester ;)
The worst that can happen is I will burst out laughing when I come across one of these situations. Not a good idea, is it now?
I really can't think of anything more as of now...
Guy with huge ego takes his clothes off in front of girl before sex and say's "you only want me for my body" to which she replies "after looking at your body I'd rather have sex with your mind." :)
I only hope none of these are from personal experience dear Keshi.lol
tc
That's some funny stuff. I bet some of these have actually happened in real life for some people.
hehehe lolzzzz!!! thats hilarious Kesh ^_^ good start of the week na... am still smiling till i went to bed lol! :P
i remember my first time awwwwwwwww!! ^_^
Great post for a Monday! That should keep us going all week!
' ]
Hi Keshi!
Very good funny writen! You are veru talented bloger. Your posts are always astonishing.
Best to you!
what are u thinking about this monday mornin darlin? hahah :}
funny ones..esp the last..
Aaah...
Umm..
Mmm..
*scratches his baldie head*
errm..
Er.. Excuse me, but I forgot how to react, In my effort to compose something on those lines. :( Nevermind..
Anyway, hows you been, mate? Long time since I commented, even after my second return to blogger.. Hope ya remembers me..
Cheers,as always..:)
Wow Keshi...that was awesome and hilirious.....
the thought is funny and so r some situations there.. others either werent funny or I didnt find them to be.. Hehe
Ty Srijith :)
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heyyy KK!
**... and suddenly the gal burst out in laughter looking at some sms joke that she had
this is when she pretends not to notice. Trust me cos Im a girl ;-)
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Jac heyy!
**...and he is bald like me ever after.
LOL!
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awww ty Prachi huggggggz! I hope ur smiling now....:)
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Kautilya ty!
**I believing in just living it by the moment... and living every moment of it to the fullest!
so true!
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Kavya LOL ty!
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TY Drama_Diva :)
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hehehe Jeevan :)
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heyya Lee!
**-I want to know-what's wrong with Reader's Digest -
LOL nuttin at all. But u wudnt want ur man to be reading when ur in the mood wud u now? :):)
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Ekta some of these Im sure happens to some ppl :)
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Vipul heyy!
**(Gal would prefer to gulp the ring than to marry him! Losa!)
LOL hahahaha!
**Guy tries to spank the gal
Gal: I might prefer you , sitting on a cactus with your ass bruised!
ROFL!
Sooo funny :) ty Vipul!
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TT u dun talk during sex d u? LOL!
Keshi.
Cuckoo heyy :)
** she said one of the guys wanted to meet at the bus stop. And she was like..I'll get pregnant now, how do I show my face to my mom...
Is this for REAL? omgggggg I cant believe that LOL hahahahaha!
It's like how one of my classmates back in school came n asked us if she'd be preggi cos she kissed her BF...lol!
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heyy Azuka!
**Haven't done 'it' yet -- ever.
LOL dun be scared, just rem not to do any of the ones I mentioned here :):)
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Wuts ur mood now Vikas? :)
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Hugggggggz Asha!
**I am BEYOND all that Keshi girl
ooo lala! It's not like we doubted it at all Asha ;-)
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heyy Fleiger!
**I have good sense, but now that I have read what can go wrong... that thought is going to fester
aha...once u read Keshi u can never go bakk...LOL!
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Southy Im surprised! :(
btw I cant come to ur blog at all...freezes my PC to death. Do something soon cos Im missing ur blog...
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Top_Cat heyy!
**you only want me for my body" to which she replies "after looking at your body I'd rather have sex with your mind."
LOL hahahaha soooo funny!
na none of these happened to me haha! but when I was much younger I used to worry abt getting preggi by kissing a guy...LOL!
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The_Phoenix heyy!
yep Im sure some of these must have happened to some ppl. Cos alot of ppl dunno much abt sex when it's their first time LOL!
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Kath mwahhhhh!
**i remember my first time
LOL tell me na..plzzzzzzzz...wut happened...did u run ard the bed telling him 'u cant catch me nenenene'...ha? :):)
Actually I should have asked ppl here what their first time was like. That would have been very interesting :)
Hugggggggggggz sweetie!
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TY Starbender!
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TY Krys huggggggggz! :)
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Heyya Cari sweetie!
**what are u thinking about this monday mornin darlin
LOL I have needs and moods too darl...hahahaha!
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hehe ty Phoenix :)
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Facesmasher heyyyyyy WB! ofcourse I rem ya :) I have been well TY...and hows u?
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JaanKi heyy ty :)
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Hello Viv!
**others either werent funny or I didnt find them to be
Im not surprised. Even I didnt find some of em funny. :):)
tnxxx anyways!
Keshi.
Hi Keshi!
Very nice and funny post!
I think that - >I wonna hold your hand< is a good clue to lovely sex.
Have a great week!
Keshi, i apologize for not visitng your blog earlier. Things have been very hectic and kept me away from the blog world. I did miss you and your sparkling posts and often wondered if you are being a good girl or being naughty ;)
This is one rocking post though i am sure you tried real hard to censor it :) I cant stop laughing on imagining your post. You rock. I will have to catch up on all your previous rocking posts i missed. Take care. hugsss to you.
Krys thats a beautiful song to kiss to :)...I love The Beatles :)
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Ari heyy WB! I missed u too...awww...where have u been now? :)
**often wondered if you are being a good girl or being naughty
I've been up to some mischief and then I started behaving cos it's close to Chrissy and Santa mebbe watching u know..that guy freaks me out LOL!
yep I censored alot of it LOL how did u even know!!
Keshi.
Keshi..you made my day,I laughed so much my back was hurting.There is never a dull moment in your posts.they are so original.loved this one"Guy says 'I like talking dirty so can you say something dirty' to which she goes 'you do stink real bad, is that a good start to this dirty game?'.
have a few up my sleeve but cant think of one to write. loved loved this post.You are just too colorful.
LOL...very funny and most likely to happen in real life. Hehe....thank god nothing like that has happened to me yet - WAIT - there was the infamous "why don't you come over to my place?" to which he replied he might be busy and then yelled at ME for telling him I was home alone!!!! Read BETWEEN the lines boys!!
I feel Keshi needs some good Christmas lovin' :D At least come mistletoe :P
LOL ty Starry. Im glad this post made u laugh :):)
Huggggggggggggz!
Keshi.
Silvara I need to kiss any toad under the mistletoe this Christmas or else I'll die..I know that for sure LOL!
**"why don't you come over to my place?" to which he replied he might be busy and then yelled at ME for telling him I was home alone!!!!
I feel so blonde cos I dun get it LOL! :(
Keshi.
Yes, you definitely make an "impact" on our lives ;)
o cmon Fleiger we all do :)
Keshi.
Hi Keshi
You got me laughing too much to be sadistic. LOL
I have to think about kicking some guy in the ass, before I get sadistic. LOL
I will think about it and get back to you. I may write some in "Passages".
We have to hold "Passages" for 48 hrs. for Peanuts ads. After that, I'll see if I can write something.
LOL
Bev
@Keshi: Yes, but not this much... And any comments on the rumour going around that you are just...?
@Julia: There goes my last chance then...
On serious note, I was replying to Keshi's comment "once u read Keshi u can never go back..."
aww Bev take ur time :) LOL!
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Fleiger heyy!
***And any comments on the rumour going around that you are just...?
what rumor?
Keshi.
Fleiger how would Julia know anything abt me? if there's anyone who doesnt know me at all, then that's Julia.
:)
Keshi.
I don't know even that about you ;)
Flieger heyy!
na I think u know me better than Julia. :)
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Julia/Saby didnt u say u'll never be here again? Didnt u write an ADIOS post to Keshi? So why r u here again?
Keshi.
Saby
**did u tell keshi dat i tink she is a dumb broad ?
u said that in Karen's blog. So shut the F up cos I wont bother publishing ur comments ever again. Happy? One more thing. My blog will be alot cleaner w.o. ur crap. So Im happy too. U can go to hell.
Keshi.
LOL!
You are Crazy, funny & SEXY all at once.
You've got great imagination.
Thanks... that was nice :)
Keshi: That was real fun and you are firig up everyone here hot hot.. feeling hot hot hot...
Girl comes out in sexy lingerie and he goes 'wow are you on your way to work or something?'. (No idiot, I'm about to bang you)
... ;)
Ty Anthony :)
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LOL Niki!
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hey Anonymous ty :)
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Felling HOT HOT HOT Pria! :)
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Sunrise heyy!
**No idiot, I'm about to bang you
LOL wow thats a better one hahaha!
Keshi.
I dont think it needs a lot of effort to see how hard you tried to censor this ;) C'mon girl, I know you so well by now, just by reading all your colorful posts. You pour out your inner self lavishly by the words you use. Good going :)
Oh, the trend has changed. Santa now likes naughty girls :) Go get him... hahaha
hehe... lil ignorance is cute too ^_^ like what u wrote .... we can be pregnant by just kissin' lol! i remember sayin that to him awwwwwww... and hes like , huh?? ^_^ and the rest is censored things lolzzz! coz he teached me how to be pregnant awwwww!!! bad bad... thats why Rina came in this world!
pheww!!enough for today...
will do yoga now... hehe! byeeee!
tc babe luv ya!
hugss**
LOL Ari u know me too well hahaha! I censored em too much and thats why they sound retarded now.
Santa likes naughty girls? So who's Santa this time then - Mick Jagger or Robbie Williams? LOL!
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haha Kath even I was scared that I'd be preggi if I kissed guys! That was when I was 15 :)
**coz he teached me how to be pregnant
ooo lala and how is that? ROFL!
Keshi.
Keshi girl, another hilarious one. Cudn't stop laughing and even shared it with my colleagues...hee,hee!! We had fun..
Hey talking about funny/dumb things, I remember to have slept away to glory right in the middle of a steamy session with my ex. We had just started dating each other and he was hot and everything was so nice. But somehow, I must've been overworked after the hectic day and slept off right in the middle of everything..and also supposedly snored. My guy was so disappointed and went thru a major complex thinking he was not good enuf. I had a tough time getting him back to action again...hee,hee!!
lol!!
ahm I used to think that kisses can get u pregnant too:-P
OMG Priyanka u serious? LOL haha that was sooooo funny! I thought it's usually the guy who falls asleep LOL! tnxx for sharing with us :)
Keshi.
LOL Mommy ur cute!
Keshi.
since we're in the topic..I guess I gotta share this with u..
A fren of mine..a doctor told me this..apparently this man came up to him with his second wife and complained that he has been trying for 5 years but no children.. he tried with his first wife as well but to no avail..he then divorced his first wife.. U wanna know y he never had children??
His second wife..was still a virgin even after 5 years of marraige..apparently, they have been doing it against the law of nature...what nubes!!
This is a true story dear
Oh gosh! that was hillarious...but I will confess...I used to think by sitting next to a guy I will get pregnant...so was away always from guys (lol)
It was funny reading though
Cheers dear
Praveen heyy!
*His second wife..was still a virgin even after 5 years of marraige..apparently, they have been doing it against the law of nature...what nubes
WUTTT! LOL whats that? I mean wut d u mean doing it against the law of nature...plz explain hahaha!
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Dawny I used to think that sitting on a toilet-seat where a boy sat b4 could get me pregnant..I was that naive when I was a kid :)
Keshi.
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