Finding Serenity

In life, we all lean on something(s) to survive. No one is independent of that. So what/who are the pillars in your life? It may be someone you love...it may be your own self...it may be your financial security...it may even be your education, friends, blogville, assets, insurance bonds etc. Pillars are something/someone you can depend and lean on anytime. You have great trust on them and you know they'll hold you up when you're falling...you know they'll come to your rescue when times are harsh...you know they'll allow you to lean on them when you can't stand alone. Pillars help you stand on ground...they support you and give you peace of mind when you lose your way. Cos they assure you that you'll be ok somehow.

In my life, my strongest pillar was my dad. But as some of you already know, he died all of a sudden when I was 16. Yes, even the strongest of pillars fall down. Then I thought to myself...my best pillar fell down and I couldn't help him stand back up. There are some pillars in life that die and can never be replaced or helped - and they are human pillars. But after my dad's death, I found 2 new and undying pillars in my life. My courage and my self-confidence. I owe it to my dad's memory. After his death, the tough times my mum, sis and I went through, paved the way to find my new pillars. I didn't find those pillars all that easily though. It took a very long time, a sea of tears, a great amount of hard work and alot of will power to face the demons. I was basically knocking on heaven's door, cos I couldn't take it anymore...I laid down all my gear...I was ready to leave...I nearly saw the other side...I wanted to give up...and death seemed a better option. Somehow I walked out of the rubble unscathed...bruised and battered but my courage in place. Finding my true pillars lead to finding my inner peace. I can lose anything/anyone in life but I know these 2 pillars won't be lost. I can survive with them alone. You can take everything I have but you can never take my pillars. And in them I have found true serenity. And for them to be broken down, someone would have to kill me first. Neither can they be stolen nor bought. Intangible and priceless as they are, they live in me and no one can tamper with them. From time to time, they may lose a little strength, but it's also upto me to rebuild my pillars and give them strength, as much as they gave me strength when I needed them. Death took away my best human pillar and I couldn't help him stand back up, but I know that my 2 new pillars can never be killed as long as we keep supporting each other. Our spirits shall never die.

So tell me...what are some pillars in your life? Have you lost some, have you then gained new ones? And do you become a pillar for your pillars as much as they are to you? Don't always take...give as well. We lean on others, but sometimes they may want to lean on us too. When the chips are down and if no one is around to lean on, maybe you should help your own strength and courage (and other pillars) to find their standing ground. Cos, sometimes pillars need support too, and you have to find them yourself...cos no one else can find and nurture your pillars but yourself. Happy leaning folks!

Current Music: Knocking On Heaven's Door by GNR