Resurrection

Hey guys yesshhh I'm back-missed you ALL tonzz babehs - awww huggggz! Thanks for all the sweet messages - I now know who really really loves me as a person and who really took me as just another blog mate...lol! A bit of self-pity there (sniff sniff)...

I had an absolutely fantastic time during these 3 weeks...a very brief summary of it would be:
Enlightening long trips - thanks Qantas for the comfort and classy service....and ofcourse for the on-schedule flights :) I also flew Virgin Airlines for the first time, once as a connecting flight - it was better than I expected and I was thinking of z000nie all the time...'cos matey you would have liked the blonde stewardesses in Virgin...they were your kind ;-)

New and beautiful places - yes NV, I was in Melbourne for 3 nights (now plzz don't hate me for this)...we didn't plan it before, it just happened during the hols...and there was no way I could have contacted you :( Melbourne is definitely Victorian and the trams annoyed the hell out of me lol! I would never drive there...now I know why you have so many crashes :) I was thinking of you the whole time...and man so many curries lol!

Also we drove to so many places in NSW...too much to write. I also went to Katoomba in the Blue Mountains...I will write a separate post about this later 'cos this is what touched me the most...

Luxury hotels and good food - Relaxing and eating without worrying about the time or the calories :) Seafood, massages, spa-bathing, warm pools, nights in white satin...hehe...

Clothes, accessories and shoe shopping - I bought heaps of new clothes and shoes...ok I got to stop buying them now 'cos they are giving me a headache now...'cos I cant decide which ones to wear lol! Tanvi/m000nie you want some of 'em? ;-)

Meeting new faces and realising the value of old friends (you guys) - I met a few nice people...I met an old gentleman in Swanston Street in Melbourne while waiting for my mum...would you believe it, he has been to Sri Lanka as a soldier during the war...I had a great conversation with him. Then I met some true-blue Aussie hunks (wink wink) during brekky at the hotel...I had to talk to them especially for Uttara and st000nie's sake..lol! Sorry girls, couldnt get any pics of them hehe...but I was thinking of you two the whole time ;-)

Being among roses, roses and roses - I went to so many Botanical gardens 'cos I'm a huge fan of nature...it was an absolute treat to my senses...the colors, fragrances and the atmosphere...little cottages...birds and kangaroos...wow, simply breathtaking - words are not enough to describe it all. My sweety Amu was in my thoughts in all the gardens...

All in all I had quality time off...it would be too long if I had to tell you about each and every place so I would stop right here. In my future posts, I will mention bits about each place I went to and what I grasped from the experience. Besides I don't want to bore you all too much with my trip details :) In short, it was a great mini escapade from the boredom of everyday life...it was refreshing in the sense I went to so many new places and new states in Aus for the first time...and it was enlightening that it made me realise the value of so many things we take for granted each day...like time, people and life itself...so sieze the moment, live each day as if it's your last 'cos that's when you will really start 'living'. And on few days I did nothing at all and that was the best time I set aside for me. Anyways I missed every single one of you and I'm so glad I'm back, so that I don't have to be so far away from you anymore...

Getaway

~~Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane...I can see the red tail lights heading for spain...Oh and I can see Daniel waving good bye...God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes...

Folks don't panic I aint going to disappear into thin air...I will be off on holidays for few weeks from today, that's all :) I will be flying to few places within Aus for my much needed break. Not from you guys...that can never happen, I love you all too much to need time off from you. But I guess you all need some time off from Keshi's heavy posts and constant sobbing, isn't it :) I will be blogging from home/wherever I am whenever I can, but it wont be very frequent for the next few weeks . You know how I annoy you all lol, it wont happen for few days. I will miss you ALL like crazy...words are not enough to describe the lump in my throat that's developed at the thought of leaving you all even for few days...and my 000nie family I will miss you like crazy! This is for all of you when I'm gone...this is how I will feel even if I'm in Gold Coast staring into the golden horizon watching the surfers...

~~They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now...

So Adios Amigos till we meet again my dear-ones!

Masquerade

I'm so happy, I'm so at peace, I'm so independant, I'm so unaffected yadda yadda yadda...enough of that, take off your mask now...take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Are you all that you claim to be? Are you the identical twin of your mask or were you fooling yourself and everyone else right along? What do you look like? Nowhere close to what you think you are right? I know it my friend.

How many of us pretend to be what we are really not? How many of us wear masks to fool our loved-ones when inside we are really someone else?I understand some people wear masks just to be happy for the sake of their family and friends. My friend wore a pretty mask months before he committed suicide. He was happy as anything and we didn't see any hint of suicidal thoughts. That's a tragic situation and I forgive him anyways. Another person I know 'acts' like she has never been wrong in her life when actually that's her biggest mistake. That's an egoistic situation and I still forgive her too. I know that all of us have atleast a tad bit of pretence in us...otherwise we can't be human. But what bothers me are people who wear masks to suit the situation, to fool the world. People who go around as if nothing affects them, as if they live in a perfect world, as if nothing can go wrong for them, as if everyone else is wrong and as if people who are genuinely emotional are idiots - only because they don't want to show how scared they are to admit the truth. How deceitful and weak is that?

I bet it is hard to find an everlasting mask and that's why such people never fail to fail at the end of it all. All masks fall off at some stage and along with it dies your little fairy-tale world. But you know what, it doesnt really affect me...it is your soul that dwells upon masks that will be lost one day. Don't come back crying for I don't have a shoulder that can stand your fake tears anymore. I have run out of praise for your lies...I have forgotten your features...I have no smiles for the painted faces...I don't want to waste my emotions on watercolors and plastic...I'm tired of visiting your sand castles...I'm too real to welcome your camouflage.

I know you take your mask off every night and sit in a corner crying your lungs out. Only because you are too afraid of what you have become. Too afraid that your real self won't be able to match your mask. Too disappointed by the mirage that you are. Too much of a pretence that you don't seem to want to know the pathway to reality...because it's too long a path, and embedded with rejection, tears, humiliation and smirks. Not that you aren't getting any right now (smirk!). But that path is what will lead you to your real self...that is the path that will set you free...that is the path where no masks need to be worn. Through fear and rejection and what-not, you will never be fooling yourself again...you will never have to hide again and there will be no confusions about what part to play and when. For you will remain who you are, you wont wear out like the masks. That way when you lose, you will lose gracefully. And if you win, you will win truthfully. So take it off, welcome to the ugly world and 'face' your fears and challenges. Don't hide behind a mask, for faking anything is the worst crime ever.

Fields of Heaven

How would you define Heaven on Earth? To me it's a place where I can't even believe my senses...where I totally forget my existence...where the beauty of it is unimaginable...where the pleasure it gives me is inexpressible...where not even a million photographs can capture it's total splendour...where it's magic captures my heart forever. Well that's where I was in the weekend :) I was at the Floriade 2005 - an annual Springtime blooms and blossoms treat to the Aussies which is held in Canberra. It was well worth the 3hr drive - I was completely mesmerised by the magic of the yellow, red, purple, orange, pink, white etc etc fields of zillions of Tulips...I cannot even begin to express the out-of-this world beauty of the flowers and how brilliant a festival it is. I was in total awe of it all! Check it out for yourself at the few Floriade sites I found at AusFloriade, Floriade03 and MoreFloriade. Trust me these pics can't do enough justice to the actual beauty of it, 'cos nothing can truly capture it's entirety nor the Heavenly vibes that you feel when you're really there. Firstly, the fields are too big and the variety of colors and arrangements is just too much to ever finish photographing. I guess I have to count my divine blessings for being able to be there and experience the fields of Heaven, as I call it.

When we were driving back I was thinking about all the colors, the deliverance and the beauty of the flowers that still dominates a big part of my memory. People look for so many things in life in terms of finding Heaven on Earth. I can say I was truly 'happy' in the few hours I was with the Tulips. I'm a person who enjoys simple things in life. It doesnt take alot for me to be happy. As much as the vast Tulip fields gave me infinite happiness, the little yellow wild flower on the side of my pathway would also give me that same happiness. When asked, my friend said that the idea of Heaven on Earth for her is touching the white sands with her feet while the waves kiss the shores. Another friend said that his idea of Heaven on Earth is listening to music and it gives him eternal happiness that can't be replaced by anything else. Some others said it's achieving career goals and making enough money to live a comfortable life. While it's perfectly understandable that one must have all those professional and personal dreams of happiness, one must not let time and opportunities pass him by while dreaming those dreams. 'Cos happiness is not a destination...they say it's only a direction, so enjoy the drive, for being happy involves this very moment. I don't understand why people chase happiness so hard when it's right beside them. You could be so down and out, but there are so many simple and natural things out there that can bring you joy that's irreplaceable by any other means. Be it nature or an old love song...the sandy beaches, the deep purple Tulips, the twighlight skies, the yellow butterflies, the little blue bird on your window sill...open your eyes, listen well, tune in...you will find Heaven on Earth if you don't look too hard. Just use the basic senses you have been gifted with - that's all that's needed from your side, atleast that's what I think :)

If you didn't know, Heaven is indeed a place on Earth...just that you got to know how and where to find it, not just dream about it and chase it too hard - 'cos while chasing it you may pass it even without your knowledge. It's a bit like how some people wait for Summer to arrive to enjoy life and in that process they miss out on the joys and comforts of Winter. So capture the magic in every moment and enjoy the happiness it gives - happiness isn't somewhere far away in the horizon, it's right beside you waiting to be discovered by you. Now tell me, what is your idea of Heaven on Earth?

(This post is dedicated to Uttara.)