Things that irritate me...

*Junk mail and junk jokers - I hate spam and I genuinely hate people who try to advertise their products by junk mail - nobody reads them unless they are quite retarded just like the spam emailers. So all I suggest to the spammers is to send their spam to their cousins. Junk jokers are people who claim they have a great sense of humor but they really don't and they're not aware of it. And when I'm forced to listen to some real cranium-depriving so-called jokes, I get a little annoyed because I cant really laugh - it's wasting away my cranium too. At least the person who's telling me the 'joke' is a good joke. Thank God for that.

*People who jump the queue - isnt it bloody annoying when you're standing in a bank or post office queue, some people just assume that they can come late and stand in front of you and look around as if they did nothing wrong? Once I told a guy to get back behind me as he jumped in front of me and he goes why should I?? Hello??!! I think he simply needs a sign saying 'I'm really stupid'...that way I would have just looked and said 'Oh never mind...stay there'.

*The car ahead of mine doing 40 in a 80 speed zone - Just what are they thinking - that they're playing dodge-em cars? One day, I was in an 80 speed zone and this car in front of me was doing perhaps 30! I couldn't overtake it because it was a one-lane road and there was a vent between the opposite sides. That car didnt even have a L or a P plate! It would have been really good if that car had a number plate reading 'Ding-Bat'. That way I wouldnt have had to think so much about how he got his license or whether he really had one.

*People who lack manners - There are some humans that don't prove to be human. When you're like 2 steps away from the lift and the lift door is closing, some people smile from inside (as if I needed to see that dorky smile) and continue to close the doors and go their way. Some folks don't hold the door for you and if you hold the door for them, they don't even thank you. Some people sneeze so loud in public and they seem to claim to have done such a good deed because they don't excuse themselves at all. People who make noises when they eat puts me off the most - noise either from their mouth or the cutlery, it makes you want to...want to...just stop him eating for good.

*Waiting forever for the customer before you, to finish - Have you ever been in a situation where the customer before you is a pain in the butt who doesnt seem to leave when he's really been served and done with? I was at a store in Sydney wanting to buy a Discman. There was this lady before me who was being served for the past 20mins or so. I was waiting for her to finish and it seemed like she had no intention of finishing. Her questions could all be easily answered by the brochure she had in her hands. Yet she continued with the sales guy as if she was the only customer on Earth, amidst the annoyance of the sales guy and everybody else. I was thinking maybe she was just born that way...that thought gave me peace.

*Selfish passengers on the train - A train is for public commuting. Yet some people think it's their private property. Have you ever noticed people leaving their bags and other things on a free seat and not budging when others are looking for seats? Once this lady had a bag on a free seat and I was looking for a seat. She saw me but she didnt move her bag and pretended not to notice me. I excused her and asked her to move her bag and she gave me the most annoyed look on the planet. Like I cared. I couldnt resist asking her 'Is this seat something you paid for at the furniture store?'. She then kept shut for the entire journey.

*Meaningless proverbs - Has anybody told you, aww you can't have the cake and eat it too? I mean would you ever buy a cake and NOT eat it?? Someone once told me No news is good news. How can that be? If you don't hear from someone for a while it could be he's dead. What about when someone says - The more the merrier - na not when you're in a sardine-packed train early in the morning on your way to work. Money is the root of all evil? Not if you're NOT an evil person! Marriages are made in heaven - may not feel that way when the husband watches the sports channel 24/7 - perhaps it means you gain a couch potato made in Heaven. Someone once told me - Keshi it takes two to tango - ofcourse, tango wasnt meant for 3, was it? He who laughs lasts, laughs best - not really, I think it's because he got the joke quite late. Some proverbs just make me want to sit quiet and feel sorry for those who use them.

*Being subjected to people's bullshit - Some people mistakenly think that others have infinte patience for their bullshit. Like when they go on and on about what they plan to do, what they are doing right now, how they did something, bull, bull, and bull when they are actullay doing nothing but bull. Sometimes you have to put up with them because they could be people you are close to, but I just wish, so religiously hope and pray that they get the message at least from my facial expressions...but they don't, and they continue to bull.

*Websites that have 99 thousand other pop-up links and think it's cool - Isn't it sickening when you go into some web site, suddenly a million windows pop up with stupid looking smileys, alarms and flashes as if any sane person would ever look at each of those windows? And then I forget what I came in for because I'm busy swatting the extra windows off my face. All it ever makes me do is kill all the windows including the initial web site window I wanted to go to. If that makes those web site owners happy, well you got it right mate.

*Computer illiterate people - Come on folks you have to admit that we are in a whole new era where a computer isnt a luxury item anymore and that almost everybody knows the basics about it, except for a few very ancient people and the embryos ofcourse. And oh I forgot the prehistoric apes. But some people act as if computers are UFOs. Once I was talking to a friend's friend who rang me becuase he wanted to know how to keep his computer virus-free. His first question was 'Keshi do I have to cover it when I'm not using it because I'm afraid that all the germs in the air would go into it and that it will catch a terrible virus'. Can you imagine what I was thinking then - I just told him no mate, just do me a favour, un-plug the pc, return it to the vendor and just live life happily ever after.

*TV ads and ad breaks - I don't watch TV all that much but when I do, there isn't much to see either. Why do adevertisements get mega air time than the real entertainment that the viewers actually buy a TV for? When you're at the peak of enjoying a good program, a stupid loud ad comes crashing down on your face. Also, have you noticed that most of the ads don't make sense anymore? I'm not an Adevrtising Executive, but just watching some ads makes me want to believe that whoever who came up with those ads must not have had their weat bix for years. All I do these days is mute the TV during the ad breaks.

*People who spend lavishly and 'find' themsleves broke - Do you know people who go out almost every night, spend their weekly pay on drinks and dancing, dining and wining, designer clothes and a movie per week? And then when the real bills come knocking on the door, they write complaints, they whine that their pay is not good enough and put on sad faces about their new-found 'broke' situation. Yet, they take loans for Christmas presents and they think it's sweet. And post-Christmas, they are on another huge 'broke' period and needs sick leave from work to recover from post-Christmas-stress disorder. And they take another loan to recover from it. All I can think of is 'you guys live a loan-ly life'.