Wednesday, July 5

I Do I Do I Do...

Do you? :) Well some friends found the last post too depressing so here's something to make you all smile, especially for Uttara. I always think about marriage vows taken at weddings, the words, the meaning behind them and whether people can really live up to the promises made on their wedding day. Well whether they can live upto that or not, what matters is if they truly feel that way at the time of taking the vows. Now think about some funny words that could be uttered at the ceremony (like how Mr.Bean said 'holy goat' instead of 'holy ghost' in Four Weddings and a Funeral lol!). Here are my own versions of some of the famous vows taken at weddings.

Original:
I, John, take you Maria, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
My version:
I, John, take you Maria, to be my wife, to have and to scold from this day forward, for better or for worse depending on the situtaion ofcourse, for richer, much less for poorer, in sicknesses such as flu and in health, to love and to perish; from this day forward until your plastic surgery debts do us part.

Original:
I, James, take you, Tina, to be my lawfully wedded wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.
My version:
I, James , take you, Carol oooops Tina, to be my awful wedded wife, my constantly nagging friend, my frightful partner and my love from this day forward except when footy is on. I promise to love you unconditionally if you do the house chores, to support you in your goals not kitchen work, to honor and respect you, to laugh at you and cry cos of you, and to cherish you for as long as you let me sulk in the sofa.

Original:
I Darren, take you Catherine to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.
My version:
I Darren, take you Catherine to be my wife, my partner in crime and my one true pain. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I'd do tomorrow. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you and that's if I turn gay, loving you faithfully through good times and bad except when dinner is not ready - forget about loving then, regardless of the obstacles you may face while I watch and laugh. I give you my hand, my heart, my liver if there's transplant facilites, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall survive our ugly selfish fights.

Original:
I, Lisa, take you, Brian, to be my husband, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the man you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.
My version:
I, Lisa, take you, Brian, to be my husband, loving what I know of you and hating the rest which is like 99% of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, btw that's a whole lot. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together which means you do the dishes every night, getting to know the man you will become or cease to be, and falling in love a little more every day, with the milk man ofcourse. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us as long as I get the bigger share in everything.

Original:
I, Karen, choose you Daniel to be my husband, to respect you in your successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life.
My version:
I, Karen, choose you Daniel to be my husband, to respect you in your sorry successes and in your hilarious failures, to care less for you in your beer-induced puking sicknesses and by toilet-training you, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life, keeping in mind that you are the one who really needs to grow.

Unison vow orginal:
Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following after you, For where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. And where you die, I will die and there I will be buried. May the Lord do with me and more if anything but death parts you from me.
My version:
Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following after you, For where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. And where you die, I will die and there I will be buried. May the Lord do with me and more if anything but death parts you from me. Forgive me Lord for that was the biggest lie I ever said in my entire life.


:) Now you try making up some funny ones ok, either by using these same ones that I used or create your own. Have a hearty laugh folks! Are you feeling happy
now, I DO ;-)


And A VERY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ISHITA AND RAJIV for the 5th of July! This song is dedicated to you two.


Current Music:From This Moment On by Shania Twain (my ultimate wedding song :)

107 Cranium Signets:

uttara said...

yepieeeeee
mes first againn
wooooooooo hoooooo

:D

brute said...

hilarious post ;)

uttara said...

hey bubzzz
awwwwwww thanx soo much
this is for me ..loll hope i dont say ur version while getting married
LMAO
HAHHA
muahhhhhhhhhh

saby said...

i did
I did
I did

after the third time
its no beeg deal

Now at 12:30 AM tonight
i wud rather watch PORTUGAL play FRANCE

saby said...

I Saby take thee Maria to be my wife to love and to cherish for as long u r lovely and cherishable

and in the event the contract lapses from either side






i Saby take thee Sophia ......

saby said...

dis is for UTTARA
How to Understand the Vermont Same-Sex Marriage Legislation

http://www.ehow.com/how_17448_understand-vermont-same.html

ishita said...

lolz....! what a thing to read today of all days!!!! :) made me laugh lotss!

welll...today bein my anniv and after writing a realllyyy sentimental and mushy post ;-) i guess this was a much needed respite from a whole lot of luvvvinnn!!

enjoy the laughs n funny comments on this one :)...m gonna get back and keep checkin too...

tk care:)....

SamY said...

=)) brilliantly hilarious :) ... ur version r guranteed to be from a NUT :D

actually if I were to getted married taking a vow like one of these, I'd steal one of ur version's n say it :)) ... the streotypical mushy ones r cliched ... dun u think ;)

luv'd every one of em ... one with "I'd champion ur goals, not kitchen work" :D

will try to write one later 2day :) ... lovely post kitten

saby said...

Happy Anniversary Ishita
How many years ?

well if u still remember yr anniversary wid Joy

u gott a good ting going
my wife tinks of wedding anniversary as a death anniv

she still loves her dad more than me

southpaw said...

Hilarious...

samuru999 said...

That made me laugh.
Thank you.

saby said...

Sophia,

If i were to marry again
it wud be an open marriage

An open marriage is a marriage where both parties agree that they are permitted the right to have sexual relationships outside the marriage, without regarding this as sexual infidelity. Open marriage can be regarded as a half-way state between traditional marriage and free love. However, the idiosyncrasies of each open marriage are defined by the individuals involved. ...

the pressure of maintaining fidelity is the single most dominant reason for divorce

ishita said...

oh my!!! *speechless*

U're a sweetheart Keshi:)...thanks:)...shania's songs are ideal for days like this na:)...and m still smilin at the sheer coincidence of ur post:)...

@ saby...thanks! not long enuff to equate it to a death anniv!:)

desperado said...

hilarious post must say
would love to see the reaction of partner when it is uttered
reminded me the "Friends" episode where Ross takes Rachel name in his wedding

Ekta said...

haahha!
Huggs and muuaahhh...lovely post!!
ROFL!
Thats a classic one must say!!!
Now keshi...ur making me wonder what Hubby dear was actually thinking when we took the seven pheras(7 vows)....!!

Die Muräne said...

hihi, so funny!
But where's the "I promise to always bring you beers and snacks while you sit on the couch and watch football"? and the "It will be so okay, when you're out with your friends almost every night. I will be up and wait for you and ask if you have any wishes..." lol

prithz said...

A very welcomed post i believe... i was waiting to have ur usual post that flows with positive thoughts and sweet words... good one Keshi!!! Was very funny... :)

Het Waghela said...

There can't be anything more funnier then what u wrote :)))))

Ha ha ha,,,

still will think and try out something later!

Suji said...

Lol. This is cool.

Eclipsed Thoughts said...

***take you, Carol oooops Tina, haha!!!
imagine someone really forgetting name of his/her to be life partner!!
lol....
huggs :)

P.S.: well that made me wonder, you never know people might think of your versions under their breath while vowing... haha!!!

Anand said...

kesshhiii!
Ur post has made me laugghhh in the middle of a boring week!!
And well this is quite a dangerous post for those married or getting married...:-))

Its kinda reveals the truth behind all the vows..what we say and what we actually mean...hah!;0)

WhatEver You're said...

LoL... keshi... u just made my toes laugh girl... haha.... keep it up...

burf said...

lol

christabelle said...

keshigirl, hey this is real funny,
I was almost holding my ribs, anyway when I do get married it will b 2 the rite guy and we MUST mean what we say and say what we mean, no kidding...untill death do us part. yeah!!

karmic_jay said...

Those are funny. LOL

Ghost Particle said...

I do not want to do an I do. I do take ur hand in marriage so that I can come back to some decent meal that tastes remotely edible....Im jsut being dumb...

Funny writeup keshi! R u in wedding land?

lil _kath said...

..hahaha lol!! u made me laughed to death ^_^ just finished dinner here sweetie and now i think i need to check if i can have another piece of chicken hehe ^_^

..Happy Anniversary to Ish and Rajiv...stay forever in-love muaahh!

..Kesh fast search for "Mr.Right" now so u can use ur version here for the wedding hehe...:P muaaahh!

hugss,
-kathy-

Jeevan said...

Thanks for making us laugh, nce writeup keshi.

I, Jeevan, take you ***** as my girlfriend, i will make u smile when i am in a good mood, will kiss u to feel good, will hug you when u are boared, will cry for u to forget your pain. be my girl friends, till my end.

Jeevan said...

Thanks for making us laugh, nice writeup.

I, Jeevan, take you ****** as my lover, I will make u smile, when I am in good mood, will cry for u to forget your pain, will kiss you to feel happy, will hug u when u are bored, will give my shoulder to keep u also ways on my side with love.

KL said...

Ok, so when are you going to say "I do?" or have already did that :D:D:D?

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Naughty girl! :) Funny...The pastor on hearing your version will probab;y have to be taken away in a stretcher! :)

Sudeep said...

tht plastic surgery debts do us part was my fav one.. lol

nice versions Keshi.. i think in Indian marriages the couple doesnt take vows but they just say yes to whtevr the pundit (priest) says to..

one of my frnd in school who had stage fear entered for the first time in an elocution contest n started off by "Good morning to the Principal, bench of horrible judges n my frnds" :D

Happy Wedding anninversary to Ishita n Rajiv

SaffronSaris said...

Poof! Naughty poppy doll. I wonder what YOUR vow will be.....;)

saby said...

KL

i bet she already did
she wont tell coz dat wud loose her her fan following

me tinks she is already mother of 5

Sudarshan said...

Hilarious!!! Humorist Keshi at her very best lol;-)

I've copied that..I'll put it up on my college magazine board when the semester starts lol..do I have your highnesse's permission? lol

I'm ROFL:-)

Desperate Working Wives said...

Great Write up. Guess all the married coupels will love and identify with it.

Sometimes, I wonder why do people get married only?

Cinderella said...

That was an hillarious post...lolz !!

And hey agree with lil'kath,you should find someone for you too,so you could have used an original version of your own out here.

Take care girl.N lovely photgraph.
I simply love long flowing dazzling white wedding gowns.

Kumar Chetan said...

Male Bashing?
Ok this is the first and final version drafted by me on behalf of ladies
I {name_of_lady} take {name_of_victim} to be my lawful husband and caretaker for whole life or till the time he goes bankrupt.
If ladies are evil then men are D+evil
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

ANKIT said...

keshi,,,
good one...!
enjoyed every bit of it..!
:-) cya!

ananya said...

hi dear..loved yr post..lol

Percival said...

And like the Eagles sang,

"She'll love you forever till somebody new comes along."

- The New Kid in Town

starry nights said...

hilarious post.I was lol and my husband wanted to know what I was reading so I shared it with him, he thinks you are too funny.I think your versions are cute.

AnonymousBlogger said...

Keshi, you're quite the writer. Those are great. I really wouldn't feel right doing my own, knowing it will pale in comparison to yours ;)

So should we take this as a sign that you have no plans for marriage anytime soon?

The Phoenix said...

"awful wedded wife." It's amazing how many guys actually say that by accident.

Keshi said...

~~Uttara

Hello my partner in crime :) hows u? HUGGGGGGGGGZ!

Now where r ur vows? cmon u can do it...u dun even have to try lol!







~~Brute

Thank ye :)






~~Saby

hey Im not married yet okk?? I wish I was tho...cos I wanna say some funny ones at the altar lol! I think the one who marries me wud u'stand me anyways wudnt he? :)


**to love and to cherish for as long u r lovely and cherishable

hahahaha! How abt this:

"to love n to cherish even when u and I turn 85 and having s#x makes us wanna puke"
lolllz!


**my wife tinks of wedding anniversary as a death anniv

Saby is that any wonder?


**the pressure of maintaining fidelity is the single most dominant reason for divorce

ewww Saby ur a baddy...I pity Maria.







~~Ishita

Hugggggggggz Ish! How was ur anniversary? Wutt dija do? :)

**m still smilin at the sheer coincidence of ur post

yessss! After writing this post I came to ur blog straight away - even b4 any comments here. And my jaw dropped to the floor! Cos u had written abt ur anniversary and u had Shania on too! I was like WHOAAAAAAA! And then I came bakk an included the wishes for u and dedicated this song for u :) Quite a strange co-incidence ha?


Keshi.

sittingnut said...

heyy mate, missed you a lot !
what better way to start after sickness than by this post !
i think one or two of your posts would have cured me instantly without any medicine. :-)
you really are a genius . its very very clever

not sure about my ability to make one , after thinking for some considerable time gave up.

i am sure to repeat some of this today to my married and not so married friends. lol.


have a great day!
---

belated anniversary wishes to ishita and rajiv. hope you have a great year and a life ahead!

Keshi said...

~~Samy

hiyya Samy hows u?

**the streotypical mushy ones r cliched ...

yesss too boring! So ur gonna use one of my versions? lol great ur wifey is gonna come n kill me. Anyways if u need a unique one, let me know - I'll write one for u :)







~~Southpaw

hey Southy write one of ur own na? :)







~~Samuru999

hey girl Im glad I could make u laugh :)







~~Desperado

heyy hows u?

**would love to see the reaction of partner when it is uttered

hehe partner wud prolly faint.

aww u a fan of FRIENDS? me too me too :)






~~Ekta

**ur making me wonder what Hubby dear was actually thinking when we took the seven pheras(7 vows

LOL good Qn for Anand! Anand did say something like that too...hahaha!







~~Die_Murane

hey Murane hows ya?


**"I promise to always bring you beers and snacks while you sit on the couch and watch football"?

I'd have to include one more line here then which says:

"I promise to always bring you beers and snacks while you sit on the couch and watch football provided the TV is off."
LOL!


**"It will be so okay, when you're out with your friends almost every night. I will be up and wait for you and ask if you have any wishes..."

And that's ok with this additional line:

"It will be so okay, when you're out with your friends almost every night. I will be up and wait for you and ask if you have any wishes b4 entering the pearly gates..."
lollz!

Happy now Murane? :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Prithz

Thanks girl :)







~~Het_Waghela

Hetttt hows u? :) Na na Im sure it can get FUNNIER so try ok..thanks!







~~Suji

have a go Suji :)







~~Eclipsed_Thouhgts

heyyy :)

**imagine someone really forgetting name of his/her to be life partner

LOL it happens I guess...hahahaha!


**well that made me wonder, you never know people might think of your versions under their breath while vowing

haha now all of u will rem me when ur taking ur vows! Just be careful with the words :):)







~~Anand

lol Anand, Ekta wants to know something :):)

**And well this is quite a dangerous post for those married or getting married...:-))

haha yeah LETHAL I'd say!


**Its kinda reveals the truth behind all the vows..what we say and what we actually mean

yes it does na...cos Im sure after the wedding, the gown, the cake, the kissing, the dancing and all the fuss, the REALITY takes shape lol!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Wendy's_Blog

lol Wndy good on ya!






~~Burf

hey Burfster now tell me ur vow lol!







~~Christabelle

good that I made u laugh sweety :):)

yes we must mean it at the time of takin the vows...who knows what happens afterwards.

**till death do us part

I think true love remains even after death...ppl die but the pure love never dies.








~~Karmic_Jay

heyy Jay any special vows? ;-)







~~Ghost_Particle

heyy Ghostyyy!

** I do take ur hand in marriage so that I can come back to some decent meal that tastes remotely edible...

LOL hahaha good one! Very realistic!


**Wedding land

Not really :) but I do have 2 weddings coming up...2 of my friends getting married in Aug. cant wait to see them get busted lol!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Lil_Kath

heyy Kath lolllz!

** u made me laughed to death

Laugh till death do us part babeh :)

me n Mr.Right? lol is he even born yet??







~~Jeevan

heyy that was SO VERY TOUCHING! Ur so sweet Jeevan! Ur girl is gonna be lucky :)







~~KL

heyy KL hows it going? :)

**Ok, so when are you going to say "I do?" or have already did that

lol nooooo I havent DONE it yet :):) Well when I DO, I will make up my own words..not the HOLY GOAT kind lolz but a real sweet n genuine one...it might not be a Church wedding who knows, but I'll still read few words from me...I have always liked it :)

Wut abt u?







~~Scribblez_To_Wakeup

hiyyya girl!


**The pastor on hearing your version will probab;y have to be taken away in a stretcher

lol yeshhhhh...:) I think I'll have an ambulance ready anyways.








~~Sudeep

lol :) hows u?


**in Indian marriages the couple doesnt take vows but they just say yes to whtevr the pundit

yeah I know...it's kinda boring that way aint it. Best to say wut u really feel than reading after someone else.


**Good morning to the Principal, bench of horrible judges n my frnds" :D

LOL hahahha thats soooo funny! Did he do that deliberately or accidentally?

Now where r ur version Sudeep? Cos I think ur one of the few FUNNIEST guys ard so plz give us some funny vows :) plz plzzzz!







~~SaffronSaris

heyy Saffy mwahhh!

** wonder what YOUR vow will be.

lol u dun wanna hear it girl!







~~Sudarshan

heyy hows u dude?

**..I'll put it up on my college magazine board when the semester starts lol..do I have your highnesse's permission?

LOL no problemo! :):)

now where r ur vows??


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Desperate_Working_Wives

hey WC DWW!

**Guess all the married coupels will love and identify with it.

hehehe yes :) Im sure!


**Sometimes, I wonder why do people get married only?

:):) yeah I think so too. Cos marriage I think increases obligations therefore stress levels hahaha!







~~Cinderella

heyyy beautiful Cinderella! hows u?


**you should find someone for you too,so you could have used an original version of your own out here.

I think it's gonna b very hard to find the nutter-half of me lol!


**I simply love long flowing dazzling white wedding gowns.

tell me abt it girl! I LOVE anything to do with weddings, especially the dresses and the bouquets.







~~Kumar_Chetan

lol Kumar there was some female-bashing too wasnt there :)

**I {name_of_lady} take {name_of_victim} to be my lawful husband and caretaker for whole life or till the time he goes bankrupt.

hahaha true some women stick for the money only! I know some girls who always tell they want find a RICH husband...I dun u'stand them at all cos Im looking for a RICHER husband - lol kidding!






~~Ankit

good on ya Ankit thanks!







~~Ananya

hey Ananya thanks :)







~~Percival

hey Percival WC n thanks!


**"She'll love you forever till somebody new comes along."

aww I love that song!







~~Starry_Nights

heyyy Starry lol! so wut were ur wedding vows sweety?


**he thinks you are too funny.

hehehe say Hi to ur hubby from me :)







~~AnonymousBlogger

heyy AB Thanks :):)

**knowing it will pale in comparison to yours ;)

na na cmon dun compare with mine...just write. I know guys can be really funny hehehe.


**So should we take this as a sign that you have no plans for marriage anytime soon

I do I do I do ;-) But I mean where's the groom ? lol! As soon as I find him, I dun mind getting 'busted' with a pretty flowing white dress n loads of flowers n flower-girls. I simply love weddings and wudnt mind just acting out a wedding just to get into the dress lolz!







~~The_Phoenix

** It's amazing how many guys actually say that by accident.

ROTFL do they really say it??



Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Sittingnut

heyyy huggggggz n thanks :)


** think one or two of your posts would have cured me instantly without any medicine

aww thats one of the very few sweetest things that anyone has ever said to me, THANK U! As they say 'Laughter is the best Medicine' :)

Hope ur feeling 100% now...tc n have a superb day ok!

Keshi.

samuru999 said...

Hi Keshi,
Thanks for the nice words on my
blog...I of-course wish you all
the best also.
I am very glad I found your
blog... it is awesome... like
you.
So many great blogers out there.

southpaw said...

I tried but couldn't make it, but it did sent me down the memory lanes how i actually proposed and got married to kavita, since it got a bit long, i posted it on my blogspot http://rockybalboa752001.blogspot.com/

Kumar Chetan said...

Keshi I want to change this world. This is not good. Men marying just to have a SEX Partner and an object whome they can scold. And women marrying just for money. I will change this world. Let me change myself first. So till now I ha decided to stay single till the time I can. Now I have changed my thinking. I am ready to marry any lady who features in Forbes 500(or even 1000, even Nina Wang will do). this will allow me to prove that I dont believe in age caste and creed. I am "SECULAR" and respect the person(money actually ;))

AnonymousBlogger said...

Promise me this: when you do get married, you promise to write your own vows, then post them on your blog.

saby said...

I, UTTARA take thee Keshi
AMEN



Geee UTTARA dats soo short and sooo sweet

saby said...

we christians renew our marriage vows after 25 years of marriage





i declined, Sophie

saby said...

i see 2 Margies



i guess i had 2 many drinks
trying to drown my sorrows after PORTU GAL lost

saby said...

Keshi I want to change this world. This is not good. Men marying just to have a SEX Partner and an object




i Kumar Chetan take thee Sophie to be my bridge partner until death do us part

burf said...

hey big-time c++ programmer [pun intended :p]

if it is not letting u add multiple pics in a single post then add single pic in singular posts and dont publish them, just save them as drafts and use the links of those in pics in ur tag post

ishita said...

thanks again keshi:) and all u wonderful ppl...for ur wishes:)...

keep smilin & God Bless....

Keshi said...

~~Samuru666

twas mah pleasure n thanks sweety mwahhh!







~~Southpaw

hey that was an AWESOME vow!

Guys plz read South's vow to his wife whoaaaa it so orginal and hot!
Go to the site he's mentioned :)






~~Kumar_Chetan

:):)

** am ready to marry any lady who features in Forbes 500(or even 1000, even Nina Wang will do).

lol who's Nina Wang?

So now u wanna marry for money...dun worry there r heaps of 90yr olds with a BIG estate lol! awww Kumar I'd visit u for tea then :)







~~AnonymousBlogger

aww thats if Im ard for blogging after my marriage - cos till death do us part, I have to be with mah hubby na..lol! but I'll try ;-)







~~Saby

Saby ur not drunk, more like drugged.

**I, UTTARA take thee Keshi
AMEN

lol Uttsy and I exchanged our vows ages ago...dint ya know? awww...







~~Burf

ewww thats a vert unattractive n boring suggestion for my blog posts..no ways I'd do that! lol!







~~Ishita

heyyy u cant escape w.o. telling us what u did yday??? :)


Keshi.
Geee UTTARA dats soo short and sooo sweet

saby said...

its raining cats and dogs here at mumbai

the buses are off the roads
the trains are off the tracks
most roads are flooded
power has been shut down in some areas

i gott an SMS fron Johnny Joseph the Municipal Commissioner
He told me tostay at home and carry on blogginng if u have power

dis Johnny is a Malayali, same origin as Sophia

DAMN Malayalis
they need only the slightest excuse to stay away from work

dis Johnny has gone for a picnic to Lonavla

SamY said...

** So ur gonna use one of my versions?

ABSOLUTELY!!! afterall its a once in a lifetime thingy ... a lil bit of fun wudn't hurt :) ... besides, NUT's versions very downright hilarious n not a we bit serious :p

** lol great ur wifey is gonna come n kill me.

dun worry ;) ... I'll make sure shez a nut too :D

not in a frame of mind to compile a post r8 away :( (thnx to my aapees) ... rather finish what I started ... I promise one by monday :). okie?

saby said...

and i dont tink Sophie will show up
she gone wid the Johnny

Sophie hates bridge Chetan

Keshi said...

~~Saby

u sure Sophie is not swimming in the floods? awwww...check on her na.







~~Samy

ur gonna marry a nutter Samy? ok here r some tips to secure the r'ship:

-make sure u massage her toes every now n then
-make sure u cook atleast once a year
-make sure u eat whatever she cooks
-make sure u listen whenever she talks - thats like 24/7
-make sure u have sleeping tabs that put u to sleep straight away...u will need em some time lol!

Keshi.

musings (m000nie) said...

lollllllll k00kie...so funnyyyyyyyyyyyy... ROFL

so im waiting for u to say 'i do' n know what u mean by the promises

Dawn....सेहर said...

Happy Anniversary to Ishita & Her beloved..
Your versions were hillarious dear :)
Am just not yet ready with my laptop hence my delays to all the posts ..hope u understand ;)
Cheers

Keshi said...

~~Musings

m000nie mwahhhhhhhhh so good to see ya!

when I say I DO it will be forever :)








~~Dawn

hey no probs sweety! mwahhhhhhh!

Keshi.

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

no time now !

too much to do ..... both in terms of work as well as on other applications

what happ to the Sophia case , btw ?

see u soon
tc

nishu said...

lol. u know few days earlier i posted ur a real darling. i reassert the fact with that ur the sweetest person on earth oh mannnnnn ur so good to us.g8 g8 8g

AlterinG Abhishek said...

Hee hehehe

interesting one ..
i love this number!!

burf said...

then u cook up something exciting ;)

Keshi said...

~~Deepa

mwahhh Deepz take ur time girl!

Sofia's killer hasnt been on trial yet but yeah he's behind bars. I will keep u all posted on that for sure.






~~Nishu

**u know few days earlier i posted ur a real darling. i reassert the fact with that ur the sweetest person on earth

lol aww thats too much of a high praise for someone like me...but thanks for that Nishu HUGGGGGGGGGZ! Im glad u had fun reading this :)






~~Alter_Abhishek

heyy another shania fan :) Thanks Abhi!


Keshi.

Het Waghela said...

Keshi,
I have removed some words from between, now try reading it!

I, John, take you Maria, to my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until ur death.

that was just a try!

Keshi said...

Burfy I promise I'll do that tag b4 death do us part :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Het_Waghela

**from this day forward until ur death.

LOL hahahahaha Im laughing soooo much here!!! Thanks Het great stuff!

ROTFL! :):)


Keshi.

visithra said...

ehhehhe this was hillarious - hehehe let me think n come back

Sudeep said...

I, John, take u (pointing towards each gal) Maria, Tina, Carol, Catherine, Lisa n Karen to be my wives, to have and to hold frm this day forward, u in better, u in worse, u in sickness n u in health, u to luv while u to cherish, frm this day till the polygamy act do us part

Kumar Chetan said...

Nina Wang or Kung Yu Sum (born. 1937) is Asia's richest woman, with an estimated net worth of almost $4 billion.
to Saby: Dude/Uncle/Watever U r with respect, If I marry Nina Wang I will be inheriting a good fortune and leave Sophee aside even U will love to be my Bridge partner.
Keshi: U dont need to wait till I marry some richie rich duedette, I can easily afford Tea/Cofee/Milk/Coke/Beer/Bacardi White Rum/Smirnoff Vodka/Or plain water. Welcom any time.
Money makes the mare go. Charlie Chaplin can marry 18 yr old girl when he was in his fifties. So can Nina Wang marry me. I know Nina wont be interested in SEX and neither I am interested in having SEX with Nina Wang. all I need is loads of cash that can get me access to loads of beautiful ladies.
Sounds wicked but its true.

SamY said...

** make sure u massage her toes every now n then

would standing on her legs suffice :D?

** make sure u cook atleast once a year

np, but she MUST eat what I make with a smile :D

** make sure u eat whatever she cooks

that I do even now ;), if it ain't something I like, I'd secretively throw it away :D, me got gud experience @ that

** make sure u listen whenever she talks - thats like 24/7

np again, as long as she doesnt expect me to register every bit of it :D, my mom babbles all day to me, am immune to it

** make sure u have sleeping tabs

I can sleep in a public bus here, with LP turned on, just gt hone that skill a lil more :D

hmm so this is what women what huh 4 em to stick with a guy :-? ... wierdo creatures ... u never mentioned about $hopping ;))

GuNs said...

Ms. Keshi, you are hitherto charged with taking the sacred vows and turning them into vegetable-leaves i.e. Shaadi ki kasmon ka bhaaji-paala !!

ROTFL, what made you think THAT up?

And good to see you in a cheerful mood again.

-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs

Mr. J said...

I can hear the wedding bells ringing.. ??? ;) Sure needed a laugh.

karmic_jay said...

heyy Jay any special vows? ;-)


Keshi, Some are too special to mention here. ;-)

But that aside there are ones that say I promise to cook, clean and wash just as you do, for there will be days when these tasks are too mundane, draining or boring or you don't have time.
The usual stuff we do to make sure its a partnership of equals.

ghee said...

this is ridiculuos and entertaining!
i got here from Darius blog.

smiley said...

Wedding rehearsal vows

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the vicar with an unusual offer.

"Look, I’ll give you £100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out." He passed the clergyman the cash and walked away satisfied.

It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom’s vows, the vicar looks the young man in the eye and says:

"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes." The groom leaned toward the vicar and hissed, "I thought we had a deal."

The vicar put the £100 into his hand and whispered back, "She made me a much better offer."

Ashley said...

Brilliant!!

the_ego_has_landed said...

hey!! this was fun:)

Rachel Heather said...

LMAO!!!!

OK thanks Keshi cause that made me laugh and, as you know, I have needed to laugh.

BTW - go to my blog nad you will see an update...looks like we had a miracle :)

Glad you are back Keshi, missed you!! :)

coolvir said...

hahaha...what is this???

Are you writing your wedding vows :)

Jo said...

Hehe... that was a nice read and the song is one of my favs from Shania.

sittingnut said...

heyy mate :-)
good morning!
i am quite ok now. thanks!

this post and comments continues to make me laugh. :-)

anyway have great day !
tc

saby said...

JO looks silly
RACHEL sexy

saby said...

i am coming too RACHEL

Keshi said...

~~Visithra

take ur time girl thanks! :)






~~Sudeep

**I, John, take u (pointing towards each gal) Maria, Tina, Carol, Catherine, Lisa n Karen to be my wives,

LOL hahahahaha! I laughed sooo much at my desk here reading that Sudeep hahahahaha! THANKS :):)


**...u to luv while u to cherish, frm this day till the polygamy act do us part

ROTFL! hahahahahaha! Sudeep ur such a funny guy lolz! I knew it u could come up with something SERIOUSLY funny. Thanks a ton for this! Made my day :):)








~~Kumar_Chetan

1937? I think even my granma's lil sis was born after that LOL! how can u marry someone so old, even if it's just for money? :):)


** I know Nina wont be interested in SEX and neither I am interested in having SEX with Nina Wang.

lolz!

R u serious abt this money thing? Cos if u r, I'm gonna come and shake u up to reality boy :):)








~~Samy

lolz Samy I think ur the perfect match for a nutter then! good good :)


**wierdo creatures ... u never mentioned about $hopping

I didnt have ti mention shopping...it's one of the expected-w.o.-explanations kinda thingy lol!







~~Guns

hey Guns :)

**you are hitherto charged with taking the sacred vows and turning them into vegetable-leaves

I know..the church might burn me alive oooo Im so scared, haha!







~~Me

heyyy ME hows u? Missed ya!

**I can hear the wedding bells ringing

could be could be ;-) ur wedding? :) Am I invited?







~~Karmic_Jay

hey Jay :)

** I promise to cook, clean and wash just as you do, for there will be days when these tasks are too mundane, draining or boring or you don't have time.

awww ur such a sweety! Ur wife is very lucky I must say!

Thanks for that :)







~~Ghee

hey Ghee WC to my world and Im glad that u enjoyed it :)







~~Smiley

hahahhahaha that was HILARIOUS! Thanks Smiley for makin me laugh :):)

It shows that Brides can be smarter so watch out guys lolz!







~~Ashley

heyy Ashley WB!







~~The_Ego_Has_Landed

heyyy WB u too! I missed ya...







~~Rachel_Kaplan

heyy Rach hugggggggz n thanks! :)

I read that Nala is well...Im sooooo happy, isnt that just a miracle? I guess all the good vibes n prayers from ur blog friends helped...definitely Rach!







~~CoolVir

hey Vir hows u?

**Are you writing your wedding vows

lol if I said this to a guy, wud he marry me?







~~Jo

:) yep I love this song. I have always said that it must be the first song to be played on my wedding day - as my dedication to whoever who's gonna end up getting busted with me..hehe.







~~Sittingnut

hey thats great that ur feeling better now :)

And thanks!





Keshi.

saby said...

RACHEL threw me out
she gott moderator mama

Percival said...

A cynic then! And from such a sweet young thing!

Kumar Chetan said...

think of this
I marry Nina Wang
She gives me alll the money
next month she passes away
and 3rd month am again a single but with added point, billionare single.
howzzat???
;-)

Keshi said...

~~Saby

I know Rach is smart.






~~Percival

**A cynic then! And from such a sweet young thing!

?? what's this comment regarding? :)






~~Kumar_Chetan

lol it wont work for too long Kumar!


Keshi.

Kumar Chetan said...

me no want live long
me want smal but quality lif
me want freedom
me practising cantonese now

Keshi said...

lolz Kumar!

Keshi.

Nikita said...

Ha!Ha! Hilarious post. had a nice laff. :-)

Orikinla Osinachi. said...

Keshi,

Your comic satire of matrimonial vows would be perfect for live comedy.

Many marriages have turned out to be like your satirical matrimonial vows.

Once couples fail to keep their matrimonial vows, they would turn to curses. And broken marriages and broken homes are consequences of these broken vows.

God commanded that it is better not to vow at all than to vow and break it.

Matrimonial vows should not be made under duress or under false pretence.

"I Do" and the rest of the matrimonial vows are not in the Holy Bible.

If you love yourselves and you make up your mind to be husband and wife, and ask God to bless your marriage, God will do so as long as you are serious and not looking for an opportunity to live together for the fun of it.

God bless.

Keshi said...

~~Nikita

:) Thanks!







~~Orikinla_Osinachi

**Matrimonial vows should not be made under duress or under false pretence.

so true ha. :)


Keshi.

Enigma said...

tht was funny :)

Keshi said...

WC Enigma and tnxxx :)

Keshi.