Tuesday, August 4

Why Do I Feel This Party Is Over?

The Call Of A Neanderthal *tring tring...ooaaaoooaaah!*
Remember that guy who I was trying to fix up with my friend a couple of weeks ago? Well guess what? He's calling me all the time. Isn't he supposed to ring my friend btw? Must be a fuse in his brain socket! It's a pain in my eardrums btw. Men are so shallow, all they ever want is the OTHER girl. urrrrrg! After a few very dumb Lets-go-for-coffee kind of boring phone calls that is just beyond me *trust me at this stage of my life I have better things that I'm interested in than going out with a guy to have a Barbie and Ken moment!*, I decided to tell him that my phone is playing up and it doesn't work anymore. Yes I lied. Cos I didn't wanna tell him the truth on his face and make him think I'm probably a wonderful specimen for Romantically-dead-Nerd-girl Research. I just can't be bothered guys. I'd rather read a book or drive to a lovely lakeside or blog some cranium, instead of wasting my time on the phone with a lovelorn male or having a coffee with him when my mind is somewhere far away collecting water with the Zulu tribe in Africa! arrrrrrrrrrg gimme a break! Call me dull but I really don't feel that Romance is for someone like me. I'd just go and stare at his face, play with my coffee or look frozen-bored that he'd feel so humiliated or perhaps ask 'are you dead?'. Which is better, doing that or telling my phone is psychotic and never talking again? I think the latter. Yes I may be mental but I like mental :). It's better than being someone else right? I don't know if something is wrong with me, or if something is actually right with me. I feel dead bored when I think of Dating or looking for possible partners. The need for a partner must have become a fossil in me over time and with experiences. I seem to have gotten over that need way before my time. While I still have silly crushes, they last about a nano-second? It's as if there's an automatic algorithm inside of me against Mush. It's a killer one too.


Too Many Sooks Spoil My Looks!
When someone is trying to fix me up with a guy, or trying to find out if I'm interested in them, I wonder why they do that. Is something lacking in me, isn't my life complete already? I think it is. Some people ask me when are you getting married. Some ask me what happened to you. I laugh, and I sympathise with them. Cos these people have never been where I have been. They have never realised themselves. Instead they look elsewhere to define themselves. I wonder why most people look outside of themselves to find themselves. It's as if they always want someone/something external to give meaning to their lives. It baffles me. Can't meaning exist with yourself alone? I have enough trouble dealing with myself I just don't wanna find another maniac to think about! :) Imagine what will happen to me then, I'd have double trouble! I'm just over my sooky-lala moments guys, it's official. When I see a couple going coochee-coo, I just wanna slap them LOL! Am I scary or what!


Drunk In Sobriety
I'm always sober...I don't have to get drunk in love and then wake up to realise it's all over. Been there, done that and I know how it all feels. It's all temporary. God must have made men and women so they could pair up, but He still made men and women individuals. There must be a reason for that too. I just feel we are all stuck in a rut whether we like to admit it or not. I just want to get out of here and go where there are no expectations, no disappointments, no dependencies, no pretense, no routine, no limits, no walls, no boxes, no rules, no nothing. Is there such a place? The sun over here is too blinding.



Current Music: Sober by Pink

76 Cranium Signets:

Cazzie!!! said...

Love ya Keshi :)

Ria said...

so true!!its sad that people always feel the need to take approval from the ones around them!why!? are they afraid of asking themselves?seeking approval from others forms the basis of their life! I find it rather strange....as far as u not wanting to go out with any random guy is totally justified! I know there r hardly a handful of men who can stimulate me intellectually. Its like i m so over the dating scenario...so is tht case with u. We obviously cant be like the giggly college teenagers! Can we?

Arv said...

maybe I tried to understand it too much...

wats wrong da?

ZiLliOnBiG said...

nice pictures. Makes me nostalgic about my ancestors.

They would look ditto the same on that first picture, if they were still alive and speaking over the phone, they would look so happy, with that hearty grin. SIGH!

Even i am mostly sober, though i dont drink. In fact i get more sober after few pegs. yea, Gods muct have made men/women so that they could pair and then they fight later. Gods love cock fights and they made humans so that they could entertain themselves watching them fight.Nice post. :))

krystyna said...

This beautiful place is within you....

Love & hugssss

!Teq-uila Del Zapata said...

>>>Men are so shallow, all they ever want is the OTHER girl.

Too generic, or I guess some of them are being disgrace to entire race.

BTW, I think more or less in ur lines abt marriage and.
But since ladies are so beautiful, I often get distracted. err... what was I talking about?

Jimmy said...

staying YOUNG and HEALTHY is an impossible dream

ageing and DEATH is GODs plan for mankind

ageing makes u realize that u can now no longer chase the good life: parties and partying and wine women and song

u gotta sit and reflect what needs to be done before u go

u gotta prepare the house for your departure

make an account of your assets and try to clear your debts before u go


if u want your blog to live on
share your password with your closest friend and ask him to contimue posting


its called growing OLD gracefully
there is nothing in this world so painful
so pathetic as to see an old man trying to be young

he will dye his hair
wear jazzy shirts
go to the gym to stay trim


and take VIAGARA to keep it up ...

Deepti said...

So relate to this Keshi ... struck a chord as usual .. why do people expect everything to go in a particular pattern ... Been on a break from blog world .. loads on my mind .. cant write much .. You take care!!

Jimmy said...

hihihihihi
mebbe I am kidding


but the fact is
I no longer run to catch a bus or woman

I wait for the next one to come along

Jeevan said...

In time people blaming on others, they might improve them better. Somehow we learn from others, but we should be quite before criticize other

That’s silly and what the guy doing is damn to his partner. take care keshi :)

ANWESA said...

hugz.....

rayshma said...

the sad thing is when ppl give in to societal pressure and confirm when they know - deep within - that they don't want to.
take your time, find your peace... then decide what you want.... and go ahead and find it! :)
stay strong, gurl! :)

Priya Joyce said...

awww ur frst part of the post re hw very true..u kno wat i've been in a relationship till a few dys ago..n somehw that didn't wrk..there were some issues. But we're very gud frnds stil..but now the guy behaves totally in a different way he keeps talking of all stuffs..like i mean all stupid stuffs..he nevr showed evn wen we were in a relationshp..well
tats hypocrisy...am proud 2 b ur buddy tat u r taking a decision like that..u kno wat some gals go for it get into it..ahhh they nevr thnk tat guy cud cheat them too...

well sad sad n sadest is we still fall for guys..ahhh...honestly spking now am at a stage wer I dun think a guy any less that perfectly genuine can woo me...
:):)
hugss to u n tc

sorry am late rely late...hav lotsaa reasons..hope u understand ..:)

- Sugar Cube - said...

'I just want to get out of here and go where there are no expectations, no disappointments, no dependencies, no pretense, no routine, no limits, no walls, no boxes, no rules,no nothing'

Whoa! Thats completely in sync with my current mood !

Margie said...

You have everything you need...within yourself!
Not lacking in a single think!
Cherish all the beauty of who you are and the joy of being complete within yourself!

I love being married and part of a most beautiful union but it's not for everyone!

So many people are searching for another to make them complete.
You don't have to search as you already have that person...YOU!
It's a beautiful thing!

But, if you see me on the street someday being all coochie-coo, please don't slap me...haha!
LOL!
Actually, I don't care for public displays of affection.
I do hold hands with my hubby, but that is all.

TC, hun!

*HUGZ*

Margie

Talking To My Soul said...

*Men are so shallow, all they ever want is the OTHER girl. urrrrrg!*

Protest, protest, protest and more protest. Too much generalisation of the "men kind."

Who's the OTHER girl with you, Kesh? No, I did not like or want her. Nah! I dont think so.

*smilez*

Tarun said...

Deep breath,ask your self who you are, what are doing there?

When u answer those, you will set the order right.

You can go where ever u want,but when things are not right even the rhythm of the heart is an undesired cacophony

GLOBAL BLOGS said...

Hi Keshi

I think you need two complete lives to complete a union between two people.

I don't have a new post, but it's coming soon - I think.

I have just returned from one of my long weekends. :)

Hmmm, tattoos - thanks for the topic of my next post. :)

Bev

talldarkman said...

"When I see a couple going coochee-coo, I just wanna slap them LOL! Am I scary or what!"


aaaila....i better look out for keshi b4 i go coochie coo with any gal.....:P. keshi please do always let me know where u r. ;) ...i hv experience of gals i try to coochie coo slapping me....but a third person butting in for the act....wooooah...that's new *lol*

And....in spite of wotever is said in your post....you have not met....

talldarkman

PS : The things that you desire...no expectations, no routines et al...can only be achieved by aatma.....if you know what i mean. :)

Jimmy said...

Margie
the prob is in INDIA and SL
u cant have a love life out side of marriage

INDIA suxs

Jimmy said...

its a lonely world
when u r not young

the body dont count
dont count the years

when all u have is memories
u r living in yester year



Now I forgot what I was wanting to say


my mind is young but the body, the brain is deteriorating

Suresh Kumar said...

Hmmm...

Can't agree completely with you! Maybe because I am a male :)

Keshi... U can't predict future... who knows what happens tomorrow...

But yups! we can't let others make choices or decisions for us.... Keshi wud definitely knows what is good for her... Take care....

And the song sober by pink was superb..

Margie said...

Hey, we need to hang out together...you in your FAT skirt & me in my FAT pants!
I'm still wearing then tonight...a different pair, though, as I pigged out at dinner again!
I need to get on the threadmill as I feel FAT!
If I keep up all the pigging out, I will be a FAT little piggy! LOL!
But, it sure was good!

Jimmy, that is too bad!

Gotta go as I told hubby I would help him with cutting the grass...he did half of the yard and now I'm gonna finish the other half...hate doing it, but it's our agreement!

TC, hun!

Have a great day!
*HUGZ*

Margie:)

AmitL said...

Hi,Keshi-haha-when you first mentioned how you went up to the guy and asked for his number,I remember wondering whether he'd think you were the 'interested'one who was too shy to say hello directly,and were using your friend as an 'excuse'....hehe!I wouldn't be surprised if he comes up with a new phone for you one of these days just so that he can hear your voice!:)
---
People wanting something external to give meaning to their lives-how true!Maybe it's a way to justify their own hollow existence?Or,maybe they just want to give an ego-boost to their selves...human nature is unfathomable!
----
'There must be a reason he still made men and women individuals'--ROFL-imagine everyone being born as readymade couples!!No need for courtship,weddings,divorces...:):)
----
The Rut!!Join the club,pal-even I want to go where there's no more tensions,backbiting,arguments,expectations,disappointments..maybe a place or places like that does/do exist-like,say,one of those dreamy spas stashed away in the hills...peaceful places,serene.Or,maybe a Vipasshyana Camp in India-you have to go 20 days or more without speaking to anyone..a total detox for your self.(read about it here:http://www.dhamma.org/).
---
And,do check my latest inspirational post..I'm sure you'll like it.:)

Jimmy said...

heyyyyy Margie
if all the girls dated girls



all the men will have to date men
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekk

thank God
I will be dying sooner than u guys

Beach Bum said...

When I see a couple going coochee-coo, I just wanna slap them LOL! Am I scary or what!

No, because lately I have been feeling the same way. Although for me it might partly be that I am just missing that feeling.

I just want to get out of here and go where there are no expectations, no disappointments, no dependencies, no pretense, no routine, no limits, no walls, no boxes, no rules, no nothing. Is there such a place?

I would love to find such a place myself. You have read my stuff to understand that I feel completely out of place dealing with the pace of life these days. Often I find myself dreaming of a small shack well away from civilization with only the basics for life. Hell, I've been looking at the west coast of Australia or New Zealand to find such a place.

Donn said...

You asked..
I just want to get out of here and go where there are no expectations, no disappointments, no dependencies, no pretense, no routine, no limits, no walls, no boxes, no rules, no nothing.
Is there such a place?


Yes there is and people are DYING to get in :)

Devika said...

"I just want to get out of here and go where there are no expectations, no disappointments, no dependencies, no pretense, no routine, no limits, no walls, no boxes, no rules, no nothing.
Is there such a place?"

If you so want it, you can very well create it around you, Keshi....

HELL with the world, I am in that mood for some time now, though 'being nice' is something I want for my peace of mind, (the debate 'being nice' or 'being right' -- I have seen being right doesn't always give me that peace...out of topic, yet the thought came in :))

By the way, I believed your choosing to be alone was to create this world around you

but, there is always those bored people around to push you into the hell they are, people who can't live a peaceful life by themselves...you got to find means of tackling them...sometimes to be ignored outright

But then, how far you succeed often decides your course of life, Keshi...i think

And the the title 'Why do I feel This party is Over' --

I think if life is just seen as a place to party, it shows you IT ISN'T....no??

Oh too much of a lecture...let me stop, but the post was very timely..that I had so much to speak :)

wishes,
devika

Jimmy said...

the party is over?
says who?


if the party is not going right
u must be short of booze


it happened at the wedding feast at Caana


my pal Jesus
He realized it verry soon
He worked His first miracle then

AmitL said...

You're tagged..proceed to my blog,please!!:)

Rakesh said...

Boring post... :P One one hand, you put up smokin hot pictures of urself and then u write stuff which sounds colder than ice... :P he he... No wonder I scored only 45% in your test :(

Keshi said...

Thanks ALL! I will reply as soon as I get some time ok.

Keshi.

Virag Sharma said...

Hmm... I strongly agree with your point of view. But sure you might have your reason to think like that.

Keshi said...

The feeling is mutual sweet Caz!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

HAHA Ria @giggly college teenagers! I so know wut u mean.


**are they afraid of asking themselves?seeking approval from others forms the basis of their life

Agree totally. Why cant the take the initiative and think for THEMSELVES?

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Arv!

**wats wrong da?

I guess alot is wrong 'around' me :) Sometimes I feel WTH was I born for. I feel so different.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Zillion!

**Even i am mostly sober, though i dont drink.

Im sure u knew the SOBER I was talking abt in this post wasnt Alcohol related? :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Krys HUGZ! ty for u'standing me and taking me just the way I am, always.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Anuz!

I know, I was generalising there :) but it seems to happen ALL the time...atleast in my life.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jimmy tnxx!


I think when I die, my blog will cease to post too. No need for it to continue after the author is gone :) Besides there r so many posts new readers can read.



**its called growing OLD gracefully
there is nothing in this world so painful...so pathetic as to see an old man trying to be young
he will dye his hair
wear jazzy shirts
go to the gym to stay trim


I see nothing PATHETIC abt it. ppl can do anything they want as long as they dun hurt another. how does it bother u Jimmy?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

WB Deepti! :)


** why do people expect everything to go in a particular pattern ..

I agree totally. why do we HAVE to follow THEIR pattern? WTF.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jimmy good luck!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Jeevan!

**That’s silly and what the guy doing is damn to his partner

no he doesnt hv a partner yet :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

*HUGZ* Anwesa! :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Raysh!

**the sad thing is when ppl give in to societal pressure and confirm when they know - deep within - that they don't want to.

yep ur right..and I dun wanna be a part of that mess.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Joyce!

** kno wat i've been in a relationship till a few dys ago..n somehw that didn't wrk..there were some issues. But we're very gud frnds stil..but now the guy behaves totally in a different way he keeps talking of all stuffs..like i mean all stupid stuffs..he nevr showed evn wen we were in a relationshp

MOST guys do that. Sadly. Its as if they hv split personalities.


when the right guy walks into ur life, u will know, w.o. hvn to find reasons. :)



u TC
Keshi.

Keshi said...

Sugar hey ;-) let me know if u find such a place b4 me.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

HAHA Margie ur so cute!


**I love being married and part of a most beautiful union but it's not for everyone!

I agree totally. It's not for everyone..wellsaid there! I know that there r brilliant marriages out there..and ur's is one such union. But for someone like me, I guess I hvnt felt the need for it yet. And I dun wanna get into Marriage w.o. wanting it in the first place.


LOL I wont slap ya Margie..I will just go 'ewwwwwwwww' hahahaha! ;-)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ok Soul I agree I was generalising there...but it happens ALL the time in my life...thats why I said that :) Now dun tell me that ALL the guys I come across r bad!


**Who's the OTHER girl with you, Kesh? No, I did not like or want her.

;-)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ok Soul I agree I was generalising there...but it happens ALL the time in my life...thats why I said that :) Now dun tell me that ALL the guys I come across r bad!


**Who's the OTHER girl with you, Kesh? No, I did not like or want her.

;-)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

I agree Tarun.


**Deep breath,ask your self who you are, what are doing there?

but will we ever find the answer for that? especially when we r mislead by illusions of this life.



Keshi.

Jimmy said...

there are WANTS
and there are NEEDS Keshi

the BOY in me WANTS u
but this OLD MAN needs an OLD GIRL


old girls understand old men

Keshi said...

ty darlin Bev!

**I think you need two complete lives to complete a union between two people.

very wellsaid there! When ppl just SETTLE for Marriage when they r not even ready *when they themselves dunno who they r*, things can often fail.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty TDM lol u r so funny!


**...i hv experience of gals i try to coochie coo slapping me....but a third person butting in for the act....wooooah...that's new

HAHAHAHA! And that 3rd person will always be Keshi.


**aatma

true..but when?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jimmy...

**the prob is in INDIA and SL
u cant have a love life out side of marriage

no there's no such thing anymore...that was like the 15th century right?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jimmy..

**my mind is young but the body, the brain is deteriorating


that I agree lol!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Suresh :)

but it irks me when ppl keep trying to decide for me! I dislike their very personal comments.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Margieeeee! :)


**I need to get on the threadmill as I feel FAT!
If I keep up all the pigging out, I will be a FAT little piggy


HAHAHAHA that cracked me up big time!


I hv really put on in Winter I can easily use my pic for a porky ad. lol!


cutting grass will help u burn some calories. Hey there's an idea, maybe I should do that as my 2nd job?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Amit :)

**I remember wondering whether he'd think you were the 'interested'one who was too shy to say hello directly,and were using your friend as an 'excuse'..

how cud he think like that? Is he braindead or something lol!



**Maybe it's a way to justify their own hollow existence?Or,maybe they just want to give an ego-boost to their selves...human nature is unfathomable

agree totally. maybe they cant find some individual values abt em to appreciate, so they go after societal obligations.


ty for that very good link Amit!


**maybe a Vipasshyana Camp in India-you have to go 20 days or more without speaking to anyone..a total detox for your self

that is something Im seriously thinking of. we hv such a camp here in Aus..in the forests in Blackheath. I mite actually go there some day..



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Amit but not talking is going to be a problem HAHAHAHA!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jimmy u hv a one-track mind dun u?

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty BB!

**I feel completely out of place dealing with the pace of life these days. Often I find myself dreaming of a small shack well away from civilization with only the basics for life.

OMG me too...always thinking of total silence n solitude..



**Hell, I've been looking at the west coast of Australia or New Zealand to find such a place.

wow nice! :) they r the 2 best lands in the Southern hemisphere for total Peace. I hv been to NZ countless times. So serene n fresh..so isolated too.



Keshi.

Jimmy said...

things havent changed in INDIA Keshi
its OK if u live in the metros I guess


but 80% of INDIA is village folks
I cant hold your hand and walk on the streets

in Anjuna, GOA my home town

Keshi said...

ty Donn!

**Yes there is and people are DYING to get in :)


good one there mate! Death is the only such place ha...where no bonds and no obligations exist.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Devika!

ur so right.


**I think if life is just seen as a place to party, it shows you IT ISN'T....no??

Agreed. Its not always a party. And when the party is over, u r always alone.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jimmy booze wears off too...and u become sober somehow.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Amit that tag...lol so cute!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Rakesh duncha know Im bipolar? ;-)


**One one hand, you put up smokin hot pictures of urself and then u write stuff which sounds colder than ice...

o well, what has my HOT pics got to do with my marital preferences Rakesh? :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Virag!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jim/Jimmy/Saby/Julia etc etc maybe Pithaly too?


**but 80% of INDIA is village folks
I cant hold your hand and walk on the streets

I find it quite amusing that in a country where Kama Sutra initiated from and Bollywood comes from, ppl still live in so much denial.


Keshi.

Đžidhi S said...

Hmm.. wass upp swetie...??? i smell smthin different here..humm...???//

Neways, U are right, as you always are.. one should first be complete within to go, reach out for someone else, to get the completeness.
But I would still say, if you are no in it, you missing something in your life, and you will understand, once you get to that phase, I used to think the same.
I m not hinting on the chubby-chummies kinda stuff, that gives convulsions to me too.
Wait for that phase to come and believe you me, Its Beautiful..!!!

Tc. Love..Hugzzz :))

Virag Sharma said...

Nidhi , what is that phase Nirvana ..Ecstacy :-)

Keshi said...

aww ty Nidhi!

**But I would still say, if you are no in it, you missing something in your life, and you will understand, once you get to that phase, I used to think the same.

Im not sure if I'd be missing something or adding to my headaches. lol!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

LOL Virag!

Keshi.

Surya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anitha said...

Nice post. Yep, when we solve the puzzle that is You (or I) then everything else falls in place. Feeling happy begins from "You" and not "Them".

Loneliness sometimes conquers our independent, individual streak.