Confide-In-Me

This was inpsired by Dewdy's latest post where there was a link to a Confessions site. I thought that is something we all should do :)

I wonder how many of us have secrets, how small or big they may be that we thought we would never share with anyone else in this life. It may be because you are ashamed of yourself for doing something that does not fit in the society's value-system, even if you didnt mind doing it or it may be because it was a huge mistake on your behalf that you regret it terribly. Once I happened to switch on the TV in the middle of a movie where a little girl was confessing about stealing her friend's brand new pencil-case, how she hated to do that but how she loved owning it and didnt want to give it back. However after she confessed this on a magazine column, she really felt relieved and no longer thought that the pencil-case was something worthwhile losing an honest friendship over. So the next day she keeps it at the friend's doorstep and leaves. The girls become good friends again even eithout the other one knowing it was she who stole it and she feels her free self again.

Now I'm not saying that most of one's mistakes can be corrected that way without any ill effects, but I'm sure by really talking about it(which I believe is acceptance), the guilt and the horrible feeling of carrying it on can be eradicated to some extent. So it's your turn to pen down your little sealed secrets. If you like to keep it anonymous then you are most welcome to do so. But after writing it down, see if you feel any better, I'm sure you will!

Bonds of deception

So what are we going to do now? You and I are here together. We are bonded by love and affection. We met each other for some reason and we stick together for an even better reason, because we can't be without each other. Alright, we shall be together till death do us part. But hang on, that means we will be separated at some stage. Even if that means we will never be this way again, in these same circumstances as you and me? Then why are we put together? Why do we even have a feeling called affection and bonds of love? Why these connections if we can never be together forever? Damn it! Don't tell me that all this is just for me to leave you one day or for you to leave me one day? I can't comprehend that and I won't try to. I am not God to understand that fully and accept it either. All I know is that I am here and I love you and that I don't like the way God would separate us some day. These bonds are like frozen lakes in Winter that melt into water in Spring. So solid in one season, so fragile and broken in the next. btw it's my mum's bday today and above I was talking about me and her...I cannot think of being separated from her but it saddens me that I or she would some day have to live without each other. I don't think I can do that so it's best that I go first even though it may sound selfish. What's so selfless about life anyways?

Ahhh these men!

Why are men so insensitive? He wants you, needs you, loves you, longs for you but that's only when he wants to cuddle up with you...post-cuddle, you don't exist in his life. Then all he ever does is watch cricket or footy or work on his project, until he feels like cuddling up again...but you can only think of him and nothing else. You are thinking of him 24/7 but he thinks of other things. This always bothered me...men need to be more emotional....they need to work on that. If women have come forth as strong and independant personalities over the years, then why cant men work on the 'emotional' element?

An ode to Winter

When I woke up this morning it was extremely cold...it was about 3C degrees. Winter in Sydney is awfully cold this time around and it is snowing in nearby suburbs. Somehow I like Winter. It can be depressing and gloomy but there is something beautiful about this season. The long nights, wooly jumpers, cosy beds, cute beanies, warm soup, lemon tea, hot chocolates, sexy boots, lazy mornings, fog-filled skies, long hot showers and goosebumps...yeah goosebumps :) Somehow I like the feeling of goosebumps. Most people hate Winter and just curl up and sleep till Summer :) but you got to find something to admire in every situation. I see Winter as a naturally beautiful woman who seeks no recognition...she hides her beauty in foggy skies for those eyes that seek her face, for that touch that wants to feel her, for that voice who calls her, for those ears that listen to her, for that heart that understands her...she is beautiful if you really see her.

My mini-escapade

Heyyyya!

I'm back from my much needed break and yeah I had heaps of fun just veging out at home :) Previously I used to go on holidays only when I went overseas. But this time I think I had the best break ever...just sitting at home watching Oprah, spending alot of quality time with my mum, enjoying my morning coffee without thinking about the train, cooking new dishes, cleaning the kitchen super-bright, waking up to 9am sunshine, driving around listening to Rod Stewart, watching from my balcony school kids going home chatting happily, getting to know the neighbors I never knew existed, taking long showers without a care, opening some boxes in the garage that brought back some memories from 5years ago, visiting my friend after 6months who's baby is now a much 'bigger' baby, shopping for clothes and ear-rings without looking at the watch, enjoying my mum's favorite shows like Bold&the Beautiful (although I think it should be re-titled as 'Slow&the Painful' because the episodes are real slow and kills you when it ends with only 15mins of quality air time) and playing with my 2yr old nephew who now thinks I should not have a life apart from being with him :)

Most people think that holidays should be in Thailand or Bahamas...even though it's good to chill out there to take a break and get to know about the world, remember that what you might really need is just a stay-at-home break to get in touch with yourself and to spend some quality time with your loved ones...to bring back the nostalgia of what you have been, to re-connect with lost times and to re-kindle the spark of your life...

Extreme Love

When I'm about to leave, he senses it and he screams an angry scream to stop me and holds back his tears, not for too long though. Slowly he would start hitting me, biting my arms with a mean face, scratching me like a tiger, demonstrating the longest face ever. If I put him down, he will hang on to my legs and cry with the biggest pain in his heart that shows so well in his little round face, terrified of the next minute that I'd be gone...he loves me too much that he threatens to hurt me if I leave...so very cute with those little teeth and tiny nails, he will do all the tricks to keep me. And then when I really have to go and I get my car keys, he runs and hides my shoes, with tears dancing in his large eyes...and outside when I start my car, I can hear his loud cry that I want to forget as soon as possible, because that cry breaks my heart into a million pieces. He is my cousin's 2yr old son who has become an incurable addiction in my life...I love u heaps bubbz!

Not for sale

He was a very rich man. He went on upmarket holidays but everywhere he was alone. He could buy any girl he wanted but he didnt receive true love from any one of them. He bought a mansion but he couldnt find a home. Spent his money on pleasurable gambling but he never found the peace that came from indulging in pure nature. He went to expensive restaurants but he never experienced the humble pleasure of a home-made meal. He had a Mercedes but he couldnt find happy times in the car with family. He paid for a fancy party at a five star hotel but those mates left after the party. He had a mega Entertainment system at home but he didnt hear laughter. He had everything but he was a prisoner within his own self for freedom didnt exist in a shop. He became very old so he paid for doctors to take care of him but he couldnt see anyone around his bed...all those girls, mates, colleagues, party animals, mansions, clothes etc none of them were permanent. And companionship, love, home, peace, humbleness, happy times, family&friends, laughter, freedom and care were not for sale.

Miracles

Pregnancy, isnt that a miracle? A little human being growing in the womb of a woman. Magical petals of colorful flowers with motionless dewdrops sitting on them, isnt this a miracle? Warmth of a friend's smile that brings instant contentment to your troubled mind, isnt that a miracle? Being able to talk, walk, see, hear and feel, isnt that a miracle? The sun, the moon and the stars and the rain drops, arent they miracles? People with big hearts and huge smiles, now arent they a miracle too? Isnt a warm cup of coffee a miracle? The aroma and the joy it brings to your senses. Love between two souls that connect them for eternity, isnt that truly a miracle? Isnt beautiful smooth skin that shines with health a miracle? Music that makes your body move and fill your mind with pleasure, now isnt that a miracle? Isnt having a family to laugh with, cry with and lean on a miracle? Isnt freedom, peace of mind and being happy with what you are a miracle?

Look around you...everything is a miracle...just that you don't see it that way because it's been like that always. Don't look too far for miracles, it's right next to you. What you consider ordinary can be another's most chased-after dream. Enjoy your miracles from today and don't forget to tell me what your miracles are...