Tuesday, June 28

Bonds of deception

So what are we going to do now? You and I are here together. We are bonded by love and affection. We met each other for some reason and we stick together for an even better reason, because we can't be without each other. Alright, we shall be together till death do us part. But hang on, that means we will be separated at some stage. Even if that means we will never be this way again, in these same circumstances as you and me? Then why are we put together? Why do we even have a feeling called affection and bonds of love? Why these connections if we can never be together forever? Damn it! Don't tell me that all this is just for me to leave you one day or for you to leave me one day? I can't comprehend that and I won't try to. I am not God to understand that fully and accept it either. All I know is that I am here and I love you and that I don't like the way God would separate us some day. These bonds are like frozen lakes in Winter that melt into water in Spring. So solid in one season, so fragile and broken in the next. btw it's my mum's bday today and above I was talking about me and her...I cannot think of being separated from her but it saddens me that I or she would some day have to live without each other. I don't think I can do that so it's best that I go first even though it may sound selfish. What's so selfless about life anyways?

31 Cranium Signets:

Arz000n said...

Wooo...Hoooo...
Many many happy returns of the day to your mom!!

Instead of thinking about the seperation someday, I would suggest, you enjoy the moments you have today

Seperation is Inseperable. Its the part and parcel of life. We all have to live it.

jkhkhjkh said...

Terrific. This is the real Keshi. Right? Keep it up. Let it linger. Dont judge it, right or wrong. Watch the thought choicelessly.Stay with it. See. what happens then!!!??? Let me know.

Death is the final finality. Postpone thinking about it, till the very end, and there will be enomous misery in letting go.

The Gome said...

u were born alone
u will die alone
these connections
continually intersewn

Keshi said...

Thanks arz000n I will pass the wishes to her :) I know that separation is inseparable and that thinking of it isnt going to help it...but I just wonder what then is the meaning of life.

Pithaly yes I think by postponing the thought of it will cause immense misery towards the end. Well guess if u live with the thought that some day we are all going to die, then people will be more good hearted. but then again I still dont see the point in all these bonds...

Thanks Gomess that was the best comment I ever got from ya...nice words, very meaningful, hugggz!

Keshi.

Arz000n said...

I think everyone out here is for some purpose...

When I was kid, I used to think about where I will be 80 years down the line...obviously, if there is something called as Heaven/Hell, will I be partying around there...or will I be just dead with no ashes left behind.

I still haven't got answer to that fear...n I dont believe in life-after-death...so as of now, its the current moment, future is not sure...

I cant cry and tell the person I love the most that we are going to separate in future, so lets sit and cry now...

Enojy the moment, so that you have good moments to carry ahead

musings (m000nie) said...

keshiiiiiiii wish ur mom on my bhalf...

n i think arz00n is rite here..u cant keep on sulking all ur life thinking about separating from someone...

just cherish all ur moments...whether u r together or apart... u'll b happier that way...

Dewdrop said...

Shh Keshi, only believe in positive thinking on this auspicious day. Hope the celebration was a memorable event for both you and ur mom.
PS: Gome, I liked your message :)

ram_saran said...

keshi bituwa humko angrezi naahi aavath hai. hum dehati hai na. accha bituwa yeh batao tum roj sandas karti ho? shyaad tumka pet saaf nahi hai. maard logo ke baare mein shubh shubh bolo kyon ki humara jaath aurath logon se jyaada hai

saby said...

I say,
Pithaly is an ass !
u must tink of death evry day


evry day when i wake up i tell God
'tank u God for another day'

and then i make the best of today
coz i aint sure i wil be here tomorrow

or dat she will be wid me

saby said...

happy b'day Lady

ur beautiful i am sure
coz u raised a lovely daughter

saby said...

i tink i just echoed wat Arzoon said

Instead of thinking about the seperation someday, enjoy the moments you have today

saby said...

DAMMIT Gomey!






dont blush

anyway congrats u got 2 hits today
guess we gonna see J-Lo do her ting some day

saby said...

ram_saran teri to
agar julia yaha hoti .....

jkhkhjkh said...

I may sound a little harsh here, but then blogging is letting go.. SO here goes. (Intention is not to hurt anybody, but am just trying to explore the wilderness)

Why is it, then, we are unable to take the right action, IMMEDIATLY? Right then and there! Do the correct action! Not think about it, blog about it, reason it out, etc. To me, the right action (at least to me) in these circumstances is clear as day. And I can say so, because I have.

Look, let's say, your house is burning down. What are you going to do? Are you going to think about it, write it up in the blog "my house is burning..", or try to reason out, "why is the house burning? Could it be....". NO. The right action would be to rush for a bucket of water, or call up the fire brigade, whatever.

Right action precludes all thought, reasoning. Why are you reasoning it all out? Wy are not not taking the right action? What the right action is, only you would know.

jkhkhjkh said...

A moderate intensity earthquake shook northern Sumatra in Indonesia early on Saturday, the Meteorological Department said.

The tremor, measuring 5.1 on the Richter scale, was recorded at 3.15 IST.

Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

Oh..u were talkin abt ur mom...nd wht was i thinking....gosh me nd ma brains...i think all time abt guys...guys nd sometimes gals too :P

Many many happy returns of the day to ur mom...
Quite close to ur birday!!

Well...i dunno a shit abt death nd all...bt all i wish is...everyone shud die at an appropriate time...nd tht's why weneva i wish ppl a long life...i add 'healthy' to it....So...Wish ur mom a really HEALTHY LIFE...nd allow her to have some peace without u being around! ;) for sometime tleast!

Cheers,
Anna

Keshi said...

thanks Arz000n I think u make good sense...u cant cry all ur life thinking abt what's gonna happen n no way that I'd do that either...but I do know some day it will happen...that knowledge is what's making me live just one day at a time :)

muahh thanks eyezzz, I will pass ur wishes to Momma! I cherish every second I get with my Ma...thanks!

Good idea Dewdy thanks! We had a blast last night - mum was looking younger than me lol! She was so happy with so many friends who visited her by surprise...and I sent her 24 tulips from RosesOnly, apart from the real presents - yeah she's just 24 :)

Ram I dun u'stand Hindi so plz translate, thanks!

Thanks Saby, I will pass her the wishes :) hmm so u think she raised a good daughter, hehehe, I'm not sure about that lol! I mean yeah I have a good conscience etc but I can be quite stubborn :)

Pithaly thanks! Ur spot on!

lol Anna when I first wrote that I thought about a guy I really liked...he loved me to death lol but I didnt go out with him...but yeah guys r always in my head too :) Thanks for the wishes to Mom muahhh! lol I did leave her alone for 9hours yday because I was at work! But I kept ringing her every now n then wishing her Happy Bday like a million times :) Finally she asked me to hang up lolz...then I went home at 6pm and she had a feast ready for people - she's just brilliant!

Thanks all!
Hugggz!
Keshi.

saby said...

i just hate doomsday preachers and Pithaly

saby said...

Relax Pithaly
if u be good in dis world like me ...


God will send u to hell wid demon queen

The Gome said...

Hey kesh,
You wanted to hear something original from me so here it is. It's just a couple poems from my first book. I couldn't post them on my blog cuz i have a little cult following with the boys at the coal mine and all they like is tits & ass. They'd rib me pretty hard if they knew i was more than just a "ditry ol' bastard!"


As Lifewater dries

The magnitude of aloneness
Ringing of days gone by, to the ears
Of empty faced strangers that walk on by
Not to see or understand my underlying fears

The panic in my shaken voice calls
To the one i love, the one for me
She will come and my sun will shine
The night will fade away for eternity

Waiting in a shallow tub of solitude
To see her eyes before lifewater dries
i need her here, here right now
Can you hear the shaken innocence in my cries?

But for me, the reassurance of beauty and sun
Will make the wait worthy, and long it could
The tedious wait will end so brighter life
Can carry us on as well it should



Mother's Made Blanket

Mother's made blanket
Made only for me
Hiding me from evil truth
For i was too young to see

Living's curse was cruel
With innocence it stole
Shining ever brighter
Through every new hole

In mother's made blanket
Made to protect
Saved a piece of my innocence
Though now it's all wrecked

An innocence i shall grow
To weave a new blanket
For my own child
To hide and protect

Keshi said...

wow Gomess u honestly wrote these? I must say they are absolutely brilliant! You are capable of writing very good poetry...awesome work mate!

btw being dirty at thirty shouldnt be a worry Gomess ;-)

Keshi.

word_smith said...

because time is all that lasts...........we just live and let go......


hey kesh;dont u get to IT nowadays?or yahoo?

ram_saran said...

keshi bituwa humka angrezi naahi avaath hai baas hindi jaanath hai

Keshi said...

deipsss hugggz! I miss ya :( No I dun go on IT much these days - one reason is that Im a bit busy and another reason is IT has become too boring for me...the guys suck - only few good ones like u and rest of my blog-mates, but u gusy dun come on IT much either...so I settled for blogs only :) But I was on IT today for a short while...didnt see u though :( I will try and meet u tomorrow on IT??

muah!
Keshi.

Keshi said...

Ram sorry mate I dun u'stand Hindi that well...but I aprreciate ur comments so that whoever who understand Hindi will benefit from them, thanks!

Keshi.

The Gome said...

thank you kesh, i really did write that, i've written over 300+ poems but only share them with people i know that can truly understand & appreciate them. from ur 1st post i knew you were smart & educated but felt in superior to ur intelligence so i opted for the easy way out, "dumb & dirty". my second book is alredy written (2002) but been 2 lazy to get it together. I'm 1/2 way writin the 3rd one but my problem is i can only write when alone & unhappy (Dylan Thomas Syndrome) i've been with girl with 2 kids for yr&1/2. 7yr boy & 4yr girl. since being with them i've no use to write. they bring all happiness i was missing. its hard to write about life when its all shits & giggles but maybe that's where i should direct it, towards happiness. maybe these kids will end up my 3rd book!? 1 piece of advice kesh, momma wants a third from me, what should i do!? i make $30/hr from mine & she brings in another $10 so a third kid isn't a prob but that'll be my 1st kid ever! i'm scared. i can financially afford another kid but this 1 would be my own flesh & blood. what would u do in my situation? I love this girl & have no problem supporting her kids but do i need 1 of my own? my mother is presurring me 2 procreate! i'm happy with her 2kids, am i bein selfish? please answer.

Anonymous said...

if u had asked me
i wuda have told u

but u didnt
so i wont

fucking sheet !
i am older snd wiser than Kesh

Anonymous said...

wot bout procreating with saby?
it vil be 4 free, gomey
saby dus not charge
he just does

Keshi said...

hey Gomess glad to hear from u on a pleasant note :) That's a very sweet comment telling me about ur life etc. wow I'm stoked abt ya. U have a great life, loving and caring for a woman with 2 kids and now thinking abt a 3rd kid...I think it's a great thing to do.

I believe that the opportunity given to become a mother or a father is God-sent. Think about it this way. How many people out there think that having kids is a pain but at the same time how many men and women wish they had kids? If ur mum and dad didnt choose to have u, would u have have been here exploring this wonderful life, laughing and enjoying with people u havent even really met, for eg me n Saby :) Give someone else that opportunity Gomess. And to have ur own flesh n blood is a miracle - some years down the track it will pay off with a pair of hands around ur shoulders, a peck on the cheek and a voice calling u Daddy...how proud u would be? No matter how high the bills maybe, don't miss out on the natural gifts that God has given ya...go for it!

Keshi.

The Gome said...

thanks 4 your advice, i let my girlfriend read it and she totally agrees with you. you really got me when u said,"some years down the track it will pay off with a pair of hands around ur shoulders, a peck on the cheek and a voice calling u Daddy...". All these years i've only had to worry about myself, if i made a bad choice in life, i was the only 1 that had to endure it. I may sound like a sissy but becoming a father really scares me. All my priorities will change overnight!if push comes to shove i know i can do it but if & when it happens all choice will be removed & i'll have to. i think i should just not worry about it and play whatever hand God deals me. i trust what ever He throws @ me i can handle or He wouldn't have in the first place. It's like life is a game of chess & God is always 5 moves ahead of me, but i'm alright with that cuz i know he'll let me win! :)

Keshi said...

Gomesss!

>thanks 4 your advice, i let my >girlfriend read it and she totally agrees with you.

High Five GF!


>you really got me when u >said,"some years down the track >it will pay off with a pair of >hands around ur shoulders, a peck >on the cheek and a voice calling >u Daddy...".

it sure makes a difference when u think abt it that way na...


>All these years i've only had to >worry about myself, if i made a >bad choice in life, i was the >only 1 that had to endure it. I >may sound like a sissy but >becoming a father really scares >me. All my priorities will change >overnight!if push comes to shove >i know i can do it but if & when >it happens all choice will be >removed & i'll have to.

Yep very true. Even though I'm not a mummy yet :) I know that having a baby will change ur priorities overnight...it'll be basically abt him/her then...not abt ya. Well I guess it's a lesson for u too...to learn to share everything in ur life with a mini-you hehehe. At first it could be a scary thing to venture into but it certainly is worth every bit of the goosebumps :)


>i think i should just not worry >about it and play whatever hand >God deals me. i trust what ever >He throws @ me i can handle or He >wouldn't have in the first place. >It's like life is a game of chess >& God is always 5 moves ahead of >me, but i'm alright with that cuz >i know he'll let me win! :)

When u see ur own flesh n blood, in that instance u will see God...

Good luck mate!
Keshi.