Thursday, January 12

Mental Judge

Someone said that I'm too clingy...well I may be...so what? What about you? You are too un-clingy (if there's such a word, lol!). We judge alot of people and their morals every single day based on their looks, thoughts, words, deeds, jobs, life-styles etc etc.. Basically we are walking judges, are we not? I'm not ashamed to say that I judge alot of people too. Not that I think Im perfect but it's hard not to judge anyone. That's a normal human trait - to judge someone the moment they meet you or from long-term acquaintances. But what is the limit to judging so we don't over-judge someone? I mean when do we stop being unfair or being over-confident about ourselves that we point fingers at others as if we are too good in every frikkin way? Judgment overrule! :)

Take this example and tell me if I was being too judgmental or not (this is a true story).

One of my friends has a long-term girlfriend - he is a Hindu and she is a Muslim (they are both in their late 20s). His parents don't approve of him marrying her just because of her religion (but that's not my main point here). So he's waiting for them to approve of her so he can marry her. I could live with that lol, but what's bothering me is that he doesn't want to talk about her with anyone else...he doesnt want to mention about her to anyone outside his close friends-circle! He doesnt even like to be seen out with her especially by his relatives. I find that ridiculous and disrespectful to the girl. I'm sorry but I believe that Love conquers all and nothing will stop you if you love someone. And the fact that he's keeping her in the closet till the parents approve of her,
is just weird and too gutless - my judgement on him.

Ok here's the question...I told him that he's confused what love is and that it doesn't look like he
knows what true love is...lol he got annoyed with me. And he said that Love is just not movie-perfect and that I live in a dreamland, and that in real life parents' blessings matter alot. True, I agree parents' blessings matter, but hiding her from the society? I think he's a weirdo and that he's a coward and I told him so hehe. Am I being a good judge here or too judgmental or just mental? :) Be honest with what you think. Have I crossed the limits? To me, judging someone is normal comparing with your morals and experiences and that too with an open view to his/her morals...but over-judging occurs when your opinion about someone is formed soully on what you think is right...when you don't see the other person's point of view and when you think that only your views are correct. In this case, I really wouldn't hide my boyfriend even if he's not approved of by my parents...yes, I know that I'm only thinking of what I'd be doing in such a situation, but isn't true love generally blind :) - so what's your verdict on my friend and my judgmental skills?

59 Cranium Signets:

southpaw said...

***so what's your verdict on my friend and my judgmental skills?***
Verdict on ur friend...well i won't comment on somebody i dont even know virtually. As far as ur judgemental skills r concerned, u hv judged almost everything correct, but like u hv mentioned in his reply to ur judgement, u can't expect things what u think is right from every fellow human-being. Now today what i do usually or the way i think or the way i conclude on things, u may completely disagree and vice versa. Its good to hv judgemental skills, it does helps a lot in day to day life, but then the most important aspect of judging people is to when u feel u hv judged almost all the finer points then u also know how to put ur judgement infront of that particular person and thats the secret of successfull judgement skill. Phew!!! was i preaching too much???stop me if i go wrong anywhere....

anup.777 said...

You are right in the fact that people inherently make some sort of judgement about anyone just by a look... that's why first impressions are so important! Thereafter, subsequent time spent with the person will either quicky prove ur first impression correct, or will take a whole lot of time for u to admit that the first impression was wrong.... I'd rather not take a call on ur jdgemental skills (although they do seem logically in place) as there may be other factors that have been hidden from you by that friend... Oh the tangled webs we weave.... ;)

Ash said...

HI Keshigirl ....
good morning

He is justified in once sense and so are u....

but at least why the entire world know what u doing ...He doesn't hide from his close circle either...and his parents too....

well, relatives are a peculiar bunch of ppl if u want my opinion on them. wellwishers less and gossipmongers more ...he doesn't want to spoil the reputation of that girl and himself if there is a rare possibility that they marry elsewhere .....

what say ..a diffenet view?

saby said...

DUMBASS !
(as janice wud tell u)

the word here is not judge
it is just sizing up

saby said...

judging implies giving a value judgement

beautiful/ugly
wise/dumb

worldly wise/naive
good/bad

still_figuring_out said...

in my opinion, being judgemental is not wrong, as long i keep my thoughts on someone to myself and only share it with people i trust. in this matter, only 3 people ;)

if he doesn`t even show his girl to his friends, then is he sure he even loves her? and if the girl puts up with it, does she love him? since when a loved one had to be hidden? it is important for parents to approve a marriage. however, he took the risk by falling in love (if he is) with a girl from a different religion. he must have known the difficulties he might face from both sides.

you judged him to be gutless. i judged him to be right. as a devout hindu, i think he is doing the right thing by not going against his parents by marrying a muslim girl. being realistic is important in this world.

so you see, there is no right and wrong when it comes to being judgemental. it is one of the gray areas in life.

and you have the right to judge me based on my above comment ;)

saby said...

Keshi

i tink u have lost your roots
u r neither indian (sri lanka was a part of india)

nor western

dat muslim guy is true to tradition and to indian (Pakistan was a part of india too) values


remember SRK in Dilwale Dulhaniya le jayenge

He refuses to elope even when prompted by her mom

u r not westertn bcoz u will still go eeewwwww (like Janice)
if i told u
u have lovely tits


Now a western girl wud be pleased and say

'THANK U, now look at my butt'

PuNeEt said...

am I in top 10
...

dun know

chal will come back

enjoyyyyyyyy

huggzzzzzzzzzz

saby said...

He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist in our helper.

-Edmund Burke (1729-97)
Quote WorldFamous Quotes at QuoteWorld.org

Jewel Rays said...

Hey Keshi,

I guess being judgemental is something none of us can really walk pass. It juz naturally flow somehow. I guess its jsut the measure we use to judge that matters.

Well for one thing, i can understand if he is trying to wait for his parent's approval and all.I guess it vary with each individual but the fact that he is hiding his gf from people. that sounds pretty high school to me & somehow weird.hmm...it sounds pretty complicated.haha..:P

:: The Protector :: said...

>>Basically we are walking judges, are we not?

Ofcourse we are... being judgmental is not a wrong! but it should not hurt others!

>> is just weird and too gutless - my judgement on him.

judgement differs! weird i agree... but gutless is not my point is he's too possessive towards her...

Keshi said...

***South

whoaaa good stuff!

**u can't expect things what u think is right from every fellow human-being.

true I agree...but that's not what I expect of him...it's basically what I think abt his actions na...


**then u also know how to put ur judgement infront of that particular person and thats the secret of successfull judgement skill.

thats so right...u have to know how u convey the judgment...and I suck at it cos Im blunt lol!













***Anup.777

hey Anup WC to my blog and thanks for not being too judgmental abt me..lol!

Yup first impressions r a judgment :)


**as there may be other factors that have been hidden from you by that friend

true...I never thought abt it that way...who knows what else he's hiding apart from his gf..hehehe.

Thanks!















***Ash

hellloo hows ya? :)


**wellwishers less and gossipmongers more ...he doesn't want to spoil the reputation of that girl and himself if there is a rare possibility that they marry elsewhere .....


u got a great point there Ash...relative r a pain I know :) And yes it can damage both their reputation knowing what Indian/Sri Lankan culture is like. But Im being more liberal...Im just seeing their love and nothing else...I know Im asking for too much :)















***Saby

ok so what's ur verdict? :)

btw u judged me heavily there..lol!














***Still_figuring_out

heyy SFO hows ya?


**if he doesn`t even show his girl to his friends, then is he sure he even loves her?

Thats what I asked him too!


**however, he took the risk by falling in love (if he is) with a girl from a different religion.

He sure did...if he tookd that risk then he should be man enough to show the world that the girl was worth it...


**you judged him to be gutless. i judged him to be right. as a devout hindu, i think he is doing the right thing by not going against his parents by marrying a muslim girl. being realistic is important in this world.


:) ok. but SFO if he's such a devout Hindu and doesnt wanna go against his parents wishes, then why is he going on this way with her for 6yrs?


**and you have the right to judge me based on my above comment

lol na I Wont judge ya...u r entitled to ur opinion babez and I truly respect that :) THANKS!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

***My_Unveilings

hey Amy hows ya? :)

**I guess its jsut the measure we use to judge that matters.

very true! no one mentioned this before...thanks for that Amy, u always raise good points in my posts.


**that sounds pretty high school to me & somehow weird.hmm...it sounds pretty complicated.haha..:P

lol yess...thats what I told him and he got annoyed with me.















***Vishnu


heyyy Vishnu WC!

** but it should not hurt others!

true...must never convey ur judgment in the wrong way...like South said we have to know how to say it too...


** but gutless is not my point is he's too possessive towards her...

how is that? I mean if he's possessive of her why isnt he showing her to the world as his lady?













**Puneet

hey Pu bear....hurry up and be back ok :)



Keshi.

Jewel Rays said...

Thank you Keshi. :) hey u raise good points too. And like i said i;ve always loved your comments so what more ur posts. :)

Cheers!

PuNeEt said...

Now I hate u for one thing...
ok ok... dont get worried...
i cant hate u for long... ;-)
heheee

yest we had a session where one of the topic came up was... we keep judging the people from the day we meet him/her till his/her death infact post death also...

i thought of publishing a post on similar lines bt u already came up with one
sob sob sob sob :-(

okkkkk now my hating period got over :-))))

here I agree with u :-))

hez a coward... without a blink of my eyes...

and y i can so confidently give my opinion is ...
am passing thru a similar phase where me n my gf are waiting for the blessings of our parents...

its been close to 2 yrs now...
my parents have given their consent long back n still after a long wait her dad is being stubborn...
so now I'm gonna show him my who cares attitude...

even if my parents had not given their consent... i wud have gone ahead wit my relationship...

respect n luv has to come bothways..

I openly tell at my home wen I go to meet her... no big deal...

and relatives...
hahahhaha... WHO CARES...

its not difficult to fall in love wats difficult is to face the real consequence...
one needs to have a hell lot of courage...

for ur friend... the ground realities were known right from the begining...
so hez just avoiding his responsibilities...

may god give him courage...

ur judgemental skills are fantastic... as always...

i may need some ;-)
lolzzzzzzzz

huggzzzzzzzzz

Keshi said...

***My_Unveilings

Cheers to ya and thanks :)












***Puneet

Pu bear Im sooooooooooo happy that we agree on atleast one topic..lol! Im sooooo over the moon today yeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! clap clap clap...tang ta tang ta tanggggg...hehe Im dancing! :):)

Cos I was thinking u were gonna come back and blast me for calling this guy gutless lol!


**even if my parents had not given their consent... i wud have gone ahead wit my relationship...


Im so very porud of ya! U r now declared a REAL man :) lol by Keshi hehehehe...


**respect n luv has to come bothways..

Absolutely!


**and relatives...
hahahhaha... WHO CARES...


I admire the way u think...just brilliant! lol yes who cares?? Cos the relatives r usually the most jealous and judgmental ppl in ur life, so let em talk - who gives a damn!


**the ground realities were known right from the begining...
so hez just avoiding his responsibilities...

Yep thats what I told him..and he got annoyed with me lol!


Thanks sooooo much for thinking the way u think...I like it!


Hugggggggggz!
Keshi.

La_Surrealiste said...

Well..as biased and stubborn as I am..I think I'd side with u on that one..he is acting like a coward in hiding her from the world..while I can understand perhaps why he does it..I still think it needs to be overcome ..I side with u there totally :D and your video posts are addictive..khee khee...thank u!!!!

tulipspeaks said...

i'm puzzled..is it a sin not to show to the others that you are with a gal? hmm.. it happened to me once..and to tell the truth, i felt horrible about it.. i felt like having a discreet r/ship with him..know what i mean?

btwn, i'm more judgmental than you are, keshi..so, welcome to the club ;)


hugsss

=am000nie=

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

hI kESHI ....

I guess I am not sure if i completely agree with u here.

i know a guy who loves a gal like crazy. his parents and her parents know ... and so do his close friends ... but he doesnt wanna reveal it to the world ... infact , he even refuses to let her go alone to his house. he doesnt mind her going to his house when his mom is there , but not when hez alone ... and the reason he gives is that he doesnt want neighbors to see ..

well , u def cant say his love is fake , coz he made sure his parents knew ....
in his case too , both sets of parents are not ready to accept them ....

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

ask him the reason ... and he says he is ready to reveal it to anybody the moment the parents agree , but not till then ....

and even he'd never take her out when his relatives are around ... of course , his cousin knows .. but on his own accord , he never tells anyone abt her.
and hez waiting to intro the gal to his grandmom....

i too misjudged him like u did .... but then , realised he was right abt a lot of things ... he had seen a lot of ppls' future spoilt this way , and was not ready to risk the future of the gal he loves - what if he cant marry her .. thatz his logic.

and he isnt ready to compromise his parents' reputation .. he is ready to marry her even if his parents object ... but hez not willing to risk their reputation by just hanging out w/ the girl ....
i was irritated at his seemingly indifferent attitude and uncompromising stand .... but now , i think hez right .. i feel all the more esp after i saw a couple breaking up , and that led to lot of slander ...
of course , if i were in that girl's position , i wouldnt mind slander coz i dont care abt what ppl think , but am sure my parents would mind ....

so u see ....

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

if ur friend leaves the gal now just bcoz of the religion thingie ., all i can say is that hez a spineless freak !!!!

he should have thot of it b/f falling in love ... btw , why is it always " Falling in love " and never " Rising in love " ????

but that maynot be his reason for "hiding" her .... maybe his reasons are genuine ....

i made the mistake of misjudging ... hence , i say this ...

but , u can never say whether his intentions are good / bad .. right ??

Johnny B. Good said...

Sorry dis was on my clip board
i had to post it some where


Only men who are not interested in women are interested in women's clothes. Men who like women never notice what they wear.

Anatole France

Vanathi said...

You are judging well...

Sudeep said...

I m -NOT AT ALL- blaming any community here, but u probably didnt hear 'bout honour killings..

if i were in ur frnds place i would do the same for the sake of the gal n not in an act of cowardice..

Vivek Panda said...

the guy is a freaking jackass. i stand with u keshi. love conquers all.

icyblue said...

Keshi.... Just a few words.

He is a gutless ball-less guy! Simple!

You ain't wrong dear..! He is.

Cheers!
Icy

icyblue said...

PS: Don't judge urself..lol.. :D

Wish ur friend all the best in his life... ! Wonder how that wud turn out to be.. nevertheless :-)

Pele said...

Like some have said - its a matter of perspective. Personally, the word 'judgement' breeds a sense of right/wrong (in the context in which you have written). There are no rights or wrongs in the world. All of us have our own viewpoint and the ONLY thing you can do is tell your friend what YOU would have done in his place.

To use a Matrix analogy, you can show him the door, but you cannot make him walk through it. :)

And as far as 'love' is concerned, well dear, it's all a question of 'yes darling' OR 'no, sorry'. Dunno. :) Murky. ;)

niki yokota said...

hi keshi-chan!!
i dont really like these ppl who keep their bf/gf in the closet(>_<)
screw them! haha~
ur judgement is very true! pls dont let them bother u.

Casablanca said...

I'm a clinger too!! And well, I aint gonna change it.

uttara said...

southpaw ..

u aint wrong at all .. wateva u said is true ... u judge the person sooo well i should compliment u for that ...

:) HUGGGGGGGGGGZZZZZZZ







keshiii ...
lemme say something to u .. u gotta keep somethings to urself .. n not puke all ur emotions here okie ...
n coming to the topic ....

umm its a persons view n the objective ... so it all depends if he wants to or not to publicies its the scenario he is taking care of ......

he would have thought something over it so he is careful with his move right ....

may be not all want it public .. not cos the love is more or less its the situation lady ... so we should respect their decisions .. right ?


HUGGGGZZZZZ sweetyyyy
muahhhhh


uttara

Zombie said...

judging - for good or for bad - shd be avoided. i have been judgemental, and i have been proved otherwise , many times. no comments on ur judging skills. if it works out for one, grt..if it doesnt, told ya! :p

rebel_on_loose said...

Well he should've thought about all these things before going ahead with the girl...till then it's fair if takes his time to decide whether or not to proceed....but once he's decided and gone ahead and proposed his "Love" to the female and still tries to 'hide' it from his frnds and parents! That's downright sissy! Wht a Wus.
"Love" is a very precious little word,not meant to be thrown around like that.
Such people give it a Bad Name!

Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

Shit!! Keshi .. this is the second time am writing the comment coz this bloody blogger thing got stuck...
So it might lose all it's essence now!

Anyway ... i think the guy's correct as long as he's not ashamed of going arnd with a girl of a different religion ... which am sure hez not ... otherwise he wudnt even think of marrying her.

But even i wudnt want others (read outsiders) to know abt my relationships.

Therez nuttin wrong with u being judgemental abt it too ... everyone has his/her opinions and u being a frnd expressed 'em ... but hez gettin annoyed means therez something wrong there ... either hez being a pessimist and is probably aware tht there are slim chances tht his parents will agree for the girl ... or mebbe hez bothered abt the girl's image ... wht if he has to leave her ... bla bla

Coz u know how ppl are ... all they need is somethin to talk abt ...

Anyway all da luck to ur friend ! I guess hez a bit stressed out or something .... and wants to b left alone!

Stud said...

my lovely babester,

I remember this really holly bloke from many many years before telling me what Jesus has said : 'Do Not Judge'. And I for one, still wonder, if Jesus really meant that we should never judge others? 'For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged'.

hmmm, it's not the act of judging but the attitude with which we do it is most concerned. I think our common sense suggests that if no one ever judged other people, there would be no real human community and surely in a sinful world, no community can exist for long where nobody is held accountable. And, when you come to think of it, nobody would ever forgive anyone for the wrongs he had done.

I would suggest that, in our day and age, we need more - not less- judgement. Modern us, suffer from a fear of judging as passing judgement is considered an act of the medieval, undemocratic intolerance.

But know this babester, when we judge, we also form an opinion. But an opinion is not necessarily the same as a judgement and opinions are often framed by our pride and so my dear.....ummm,i need say more:)

:P fuzzbox said...

I guess that I am more judgemental than you because I am of the opinion that your friend is a grade A hypocrite. He should either bow to his tradition and follow his parents wishes and traditions or embrace the western ways and be with the one he loves. Dilly Dallying around with the girls affections are just a base form of hypocrisy and just plain wrong.
I know, who am I to judge? But a person has to be true to himself before he can be true to another. Either embrace the old way or the new but the only animals in the middle of the road are roadkill.

The Phoenix said...

Judging correctly
Judging incorrectly
Over judging
Judgment skills

What's the common denominator here?

It really comes to your relationship with your friend. If the two of you are accustomed to pretty much saying whatever is on your minds, then you both have permission to be judgmental with each other.

If that is the case, then you have free range to say whatever you want.

The thing is, if you disagree wholeheartedly, it's very difficult to keep the other person's perspective in your sight. Your own set or morals will probably overshadow that. I say, don't kid yourself. When you are being judgmental - you are coming straight from your own perspective.

What's the point in sugar-coating it saying, "But I do understand, I am keeping in mind your perspective."

Yeah right. It might be in your mind, but it quickly is pushed aside when your own moral and ethical codes start flexing their muscles.

saby said...

i am awake and itching to post sumting nasty again today

sittingnut said...

good morning and huggzz!

so what's your verdict on my friend and my judgmental skills?

it depends on whether you have a right to judge. if you are a close friend to either one and know all the particulars, yes, you can judge. in fact you should be frank to him. (but maybe not to strangers)

and if the case is as you describe without any hidden complexities, i would have to say he is either a 'unmanly' coward, or as you say does not love this girl.
and i would seriously question the intelligence of the girl too.
all that i again emphasize, if the facts you give are the truth, nothing but the truth, and the whole truth, it is not for nothing that courts have that oath .

have a great day.! :-)

Keshi said...

***La_Surrealiste


FM muahhhhhhhhhh!


**Well..as biased and stubborn as I am..I think I'd side with u on that one..

Thank ye milady :)


**he is acting like a coward in hiding her from the world..

Cowardice is the word lol!


**while I can understand perhaps why he does it..I still think it needs to be overcome ..I side with u there totally :D

thanks babester I feel good abt my judgmental skills now hehehehe...


**and your video posts are addictive..khee khee...thank u!!!!

awww Im addicted to my own blog now..lol just cos of Kurtn and Axl :):0 Gladu like em...huggggggggggies!














***Amu

muahhhhhhhhh Amu!

**i'm puzzled..is it a sin not to show to the others that you are with a gal?

not a sin Amu...it's a shame u hide someone u love..isnt it?


**hmm.. it happened to me once..and to tell the truth, i felt horrible about it.. i felt like having a discreet r/ship with him..know what i mean?

yesss! I'd feel less respected and less appreciated if someone did that to me...if u love someone truly u wont be afraid of anyone else...to hide her from the world seems fishy to me...


**btwn, i'm more judgmental than you are, keshi..so, welcome to the club ;)

LOL ok so that means Im just a Bronze member n u r a Gold member hehehehe..hugggz babez!














***Deepa

heyy Deepzz hows ya?


**but he doesnt wanna reveal it to the world ...and the reason he gives is that he doesnt want neighbors to see ..

ok tell me why he doesnt want neighbors to see her? I mean is it the neighbor that he loves or the girl? hehehe...I cant understand that mentality...but it may be just me...


**well , u def cant say his love is fake , coz he made sure his parents knew ....

yess he will have to...if he intends to marry her...but why is he bothered abt neighbors??


**ask him the reason ... and he says he is ready to reveal it to anybody the moment the parents agree , but not till then ....

but WHY?


**and even he'd never take her out when his relatives are around ..

I dunno him but relatives r the worse lot..sorry...so I wouldnt worry abt what they think abt me or my partner...


**and hez waiting to intro the gal to his grandmom....

thats nice...


**he had seen a lot of ppls' future spoilt this way , and was not ready to risk the future of the gal he loves - what if he cant marry her .. thatz his logic.

thats understandable Deepz...I can see his point as my friend said the same thing. But I believe in one thing...ur future can be spoilt ONLY if u let ppl spoil it. Meaning...u dun have to cop any flack from anyone but u can still live ur life w.o. worrying abt what others think..cant u?


**and he isnt ready to compromise his parents' reputation ..but hez not willing to risk their reputation by just hanging out w/ the girl ....

This is typical Indian/Sri Lankan mentality :) Sorry but I had to say that. Loving someone isnt spoiling ur parents' reputation is it? U would only do that if u hang ard with too many girls and do other bad stuff. This is one girl he intends to marry...how would that spoil his parents' reputation? Sorry but I dun get it :):)


**i wouldnt mind slander coz i dont care abt what ppl think , but am sure my parents would mind ....

well I know what u mean...but ppl will alwasy talk Deepz...they have mouths and we cant stop that...we msut be much more stronger than that not to take crap from anyone...if someone wants to gossip and ruin ur life, just dun let them...thats all I can say :)
With parents, well I know they will be upset...but Im sure they r not gonna misunderstand u just becos of some gossip??


**if ur friend leaves the gal now just bcoz of the religion thingie ., all i can say is that hez a spineless freak !!!!

LOL na he wont leave her for religion...he's only waiting for his parents' approval.


**btw , why is it always " Falling in love " and never " Rising in love " ????


lol yess I always thought abt that too..that may be cos when u r in love u get into to so many probs...so u FALL...and never RISE...lolll!


**but , u can never say whether his intentions are good / bad .. right ??

I cant for sure tell what his intentions r...but I can sense they r not soo brave...but thats just me, I may be wrong...

Thanks girl, I understood what u meant..sometimes it's just too hard, we can only do what we like, we have to think abt the whole family...














***Johnny B. Good

ellloo...


**Only men who are not interested in women are interested in women's clothes. Men who like women never notice what they wear.

lol ok I'd agree with that :)


















***Vanathi

heyy Vanathi!


**You are judging well...

oh thanks girl :) U have some awesome judgmental skills too...I know from ur posts...














***Sudeep

hellloooo :)


**I m -NOT AT ALL- blaming any community here, but u probably didnt hear 'bout honour killings..

WTF lol! Honor killings?


**if i were in ur frnds place i would do the same for the sake of the gal n not in an act of cowardice..

ok tell me is it cos u wanna protect her from gossip and bad reputation? Does gossip affect u so much and if u think it would spoil her furture, then how? Tell me Sudzz...















***Vivek Panda

Hi Vivek!


**the guy is a freaking jackass. i stand with u keshi. love conquers all.

LOL awww thanks...hahaha I like the way u said jackass lolllllllllz! Thanks!














***Icyblue

Icyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Huggggggz!


**He is a gutless ball-less guy! Simple!


LOL! I know x 100000!
hahaha @ballless hahahahaha!


**Wish ur friend all the best in his life... ! Wonder how that wud turn out to be.. nevertheless :-)

he would turn out to be a wife-harassin, couch-hugging boring hubby lolll! i.o.w. momma's big fat boy :):)














***Pele

hi Pele!


**There are no rights or wrongs in the world. All of us have our own viewpoint and the ONLY thing you can do is tell your friend what YOU would have done in his place.

yess u r absolutely right...


**To use a Matrix analogy, you can show him the door, but you cannot make him walk through it. :)

so right...I agree...u can only tell him...it's upto him to do what he thinks is right...


**And as far as 'love' is concerned, well dear, it's all a question of 'yes darling' OR 'no, sorry'. Dunno. :) Murky. ;)

aha spot on! Well-said Pele thankssss!















***Niki

elloooo Niki chan :)


**i dont really like these ppl who keep their bf/gf in the closet(>_<)
screw them! haha~


lol yes screw em babeh...hahahaha!


**ur judgement is very true! pls dont let them bother u.

nope they dun bother me, he really drives me up the walls with his attitude...anwyays all's well. He's now thinking Im sorta right...lol but he doesnt wanna still take her out much...















***Casablanca

Casa heyyy WC!


**I'm a clinger too!! And well, I aint gonna change it.

lol good on ya girl :)













***Uttara

Utssy bubbz hows ya? HUGGGGGGGGZ!


**u aint wrong at all .. wateva u said is true ... u judge the person sooo well i should compliment u for that ...

me or South? lol!


**lemme say something to u .. u gotta keep somethings to urself .. n not puke all ur emotions here okie ...

like wut lol??


**so it all depends if he wants to or not to publicies its the scenario he is taking care of ......

omg Uttsy u r with him too? loll I cant believe this...noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! :(:(
Love aint that cheap or ugly Uttsy...Love aint something to hide...so what if the parents dint like it and they had to go their separate ways? Atleast they loved each other...hai na?


**he would have thought something over it so he is careful with his move right ....

why d u have to be careful when ur truly in love with someone?


**may be not all want it public .. not cos the love is more or less its the situation lady ... so we should respect their decisions .. right ?

Love is not situational :) I respect his decision but I totally disagree with him..thats what I meant hehehe...

Hugggggggggggggz!
















***Misty

ellooooo misty muahhhh!


**judging - for good or for bad - shd be avoided.

aww Misty it's too hard not to judge...


**i have been judgemental, and i have been proved otherwise , many times. no comments on ur judging skills. if it works out for one, grt..if it doesnt, told ya! :p

but being proved otherwise shouldnt stop u from judging should it? We need healthy judgmental skills to live life well na.
Anyways thanks girl huggggggggggz! Sometimes it's good not to judge...ur absolutely right there Misty....














***Rebel_on_loose

hiyyyya Rebbbz!


**Well he should've thought about all these things before going ahead with the girl...

Exactly my point! And now that he's stuck with it, better deal with it like a man...:)


**till then it's fair if takes his time to decide whether or not to proceed....but once he's decided and gone ahead and proposed his "Love" to the female and still tries to 'hide' it from his frnds and parents! That's downright sissy! Wht a Wus.

I BOW DOWN TO YA, THANKSSSSSS! Goshhh and I thought I was being too cruel to him..hehehe. Sissy is just and under-estimation lol!


**"Love" is a very precious little word,not meant to be thrown around like that.

SO TRUE! Like I said before, Love is just not there for fun, it's serious stuff...and Love isnt situational or conditional...Love is LOVE...and it sees nop barriers...thats all I believe in - in a movie or in real life, Love is Love.


**Such people give it a Bad Name!

So true! It's ppl like him who divides Love into other categories...and gives ist a bad name...thank u soooooo much for ur valuable points dear...IO really liked ur comment!














***Cheesy

muahhhhhhhh Cheesterezzz!


**Shit!! Keshi .. this is the second time am writing the comment coz this bloody blogger thing got stuck...

lol so sorry...awww...


**Anyway ... i think the guy's correct as long as he's not ashamed of going arnd with a girl of a different religion ... which am sure hez not ... otherwise he wudnt even think of marrying her.

true Cheesy...but would u like ur BF to hide ya from his friends and relatives??


**But even i wudnt want others (read outsiders) to know abt my relationships.

ok so that maybe how u r...like he is...hmmm...:)


**Therez nuttin wrong with u being judgemental abt it too ...

thanks babeh...


**but hez gettin annoyed means therez something wrong there ...

lol see what I mean..hehehe..


**either hez being a pessimist and is probably aware tht there are slim chances tht his parents will agree for the girl ... or mebbe hez bothered abt the girl's image ... wht if he has to leave her ... bla bla

true...so what if he has to leave her?


**Coz u know how ppl are ... all they need is somethin to talk abt ...

yes but do we care abt such ppl and their talks?


**Anyway all da luck to ur friend ! I guess hez a bit stressed out or something .... and wants to b left alone!

mebbe...cos he must be afraid that he might lose her but all I said to him was...be a man and take her home :)













***Stud

elllo bebo :)


**Jesus has said : 'Do Not Judge'. And I for one, still wonder, if Jesus really meant that we should never judge others? 'For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged'.

yess I agree..I mean with judgmental skills given to us, how can we not use em?


**hmmm, it's not the act of judging but the attitude with which we do it is most concerned.

Spot on!


**I think our common sense suggests that if no one ever judged other people, there would be no real human community and surely in a sinful world, no community can exist for long where nobody is held accountable.

U r absolutely right!


**And, when you come to think of it, nobody would ever forgive anyone for the wrongs he had done.

so right...


**I would suggest that, in our day and age, we need more - not less- judgement. Modern us, suffer from a fear of judging as passing judgement is considered an act of the medieval, undemocratic intolerance.

right...


**But know this babester, when we judge, we also form an opinion. But an opinion is not necessarily the same as a judgement and opinions are often framed by our pride and so my dear.....ummm,i need say more:)

didnt get this Studdo...how can an opinion not be a judgment...I mean if I say u r sweet, that's my judgment abt ya as well as my opinion...enlighten me more plzzz...
















***:P fuzzbox

Heyyy Fuzzzy WB!


**I guess that I am more judgemental than you because I am of the opinion that your friend is a grade A hypocrite.

LOL hahahaha good one! I told him that too even tho he's a friend...he takes anything from me :)...and he was annoyed but I told him that he's not a man lol!


**He should either bow to his tradition and follow his parents wishes and traditions or embrace the western ways and be with the one he loves. Dilly Dallying around with the girls affections are just a base form of hypocrisy and just plain wrong.

WELL-SAID Fuzzy! I really like what u said...he cant sit on the fence and look at both sides and make everyone suffer for so long...he has to get down the fence and go on to one side...


**I know, who am I to judge? But a person has to be true to himself before he can be true to another.

OMG I said the same thing to him! I said that he has to be TRUE to himself b4 even thinking of Love and marriage...


**Either embrace the old way or the new but the only animals in the middle of the road are roadkill.

LOL roadkill hahahaha I love it! I called that Annonymous Imposter of mine roadkill too..cos all he ever does is go to blogs and spread rumors in a cloned Id of mine...he's in the middle with no one's attention..lol...

Thanks mate u raised some very open and honest pointes there...very genuine...thank u!














***The Phoenix

WC Phoenix!


**Judging correctly
Judging incorrectly
Over judging
Judgment skills
What's the common denominator here?

hmmm :) U got a point...


**If the two of you are accustomed to pretty much saying whatever is on your minds, then you both have permission to be judgmental with each other.

So right! So it depends on the r'ship too...yess...no one raised that point b4, thanks for bringing it up Phoenix!


**When you are being judgmental - you are coming straight from your own perspective.

Thats so true too..bummer :( But u still can judge someone on a general view point cant u...even if that dun suit ur set of morals...hmm let me think...


**What's the point in sugar-coating it saying, "But I do understand, I am keeping in mind your perspective."

lol yess...u r right here...


**Yeah right. It might be in your mind, but it quickly is pushed aside when your own moral and ethical codes start flexing their muscles.

hmmm yess...but in my friend's case, d u think his set of morals r fair on the ppl he loves or does he have a set of morals at all...I dunno Im confused now :(

I liked what u said...cos when u r judging, u r basically thinking from ur perspective only...thats so true!













***Saby

elllooo Saby!


**i am awake and itching to post sumting nasty again today

wuteva..lol...






Thanks guys! U ppl have some awesome judgmental skills and some very valid points...Im so lucky to be in the company of you...huggggggz!

Keshi.

saby said...

a lotta guys have been tried-found guilty- and executed

then pope john paul II apologized for Galileo's imprisonment for life

joan of Arc was burned at the stake. she was a witch, they said

, let the one who has no sin throw the first stone,, said jesus to the crowd who were stoning the woman cot in adultery

as dictated by the law of moses

Keshi said...

***Sittingnut

heyy somehow when I published ur above comment, it got lost...didnt post it here! Luckily I had it in my inbox...so I had to copy paste it...hope u dun mind.

How have u been? Hows the day looking in SL? Must be a beautiful sunny day...


**in fact you should be frank to him. (but maybe not to strangers)

true...Im usually very open and honest with my friends even if that means telling it to their faces...lol...even with strangers Im like this..lol I better be careful then :):)


**and if the case is as you describe without any hidden complexities, i would have to say he is either a 'unmanly' coward, or as you say does not love this girl.

lol see I knew it that u would agree with me here...thanks!


**and i would seriously question the intelligence of the girl too.

lol hahahaha! I dunno the girl at all, but I did feel sorry for her and I asked my friend how she puts up with the hiding fo so long..it's 7yrs now. And he goes...I personally wouldnt respect her if she asked me to marry her w.o. my parents' wishes..'. lol ok so what r they waiting for - till they turn 89?


**all that i again emphasize, if the facts you give are the truth, nothing but the truth, and the whole truth, it is not for nothing that courts have that oath .

haha good one :)


Thanks and u have an awesome day ahead too!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

***Saby

hello Saby hows ya?



** let the one who has no sin throw the first stone,, said jesus to the crowd who were stoning the woman cot in adultery


I agree...no one should judge someone completely...but we cannot avoid that too...we r human. Once again I tell u Im not Mrs.Jesus na..hehehehe...


Keshi.

UD said...

hi keshi, can u tell me the code to put videos which paly directly in windows media player.jus send me a mail @ aruntatikonda@gmail.com and dont post this comment.\kidding:)

saby said...

, humans of dis gen SUXS !,

sittingnut said...

i think my comment was posted while you were writing your long reply to others. anyway it is there now before your reply and your copy and paste one is also there. i dont mind having it twice. :-)

sun is still not up here as far as i can see, it's only just past 6. here. it rained in the night .

even with strangers Im like this..lol I better be careful then : . lol, no, no, i meant that you should not pass judgment on him in front of strangers who know him.

btw it's ok to write post like above since we do not know him in real life.

Keshi said...

***Sittingnut

ohhh I see it now..it's there :) I'll delete mine...

no I dun pass judgment at him in front of ppl who knows him..lol...I told him I'll make a post of this and get some feedback and let him know what the 'general' public thinks abt him..hehe...he doesnt mind cos none of u know him :)


Happy day ahead Sittingnut..):)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

***Arun

ok I will email u soon :)













***Saby

Sucks as in? lol!


Keshi.

saby said...

DAMN U !
u r egging me on
i intend to stop visiting your blogg

u guys say the tings dat makes my blood boil

and i have high bp
and u no i always have to have the last word on any subject

and i havent filed my IT returns yet

and my wife calls me to bed
and i cant leave dis comp

and .....
and .....

SHIT !

southpaw said...

***but that's not what I expect of him...it's basically what I think abt his actions na...*** what u think about anybody's action, u actually plant the egg of expectation then and there itself...:)
Damn!!!i m preaching again...

Keshi said...

***South


**what u think about anybody's action, u actually plant the egg of expectation then and there itself...:)

U r right...lol...but I dun expect him to do it just cos I believe in it...get what I mean? :)


Keshi.

PRADEEP K. said...

This post is really not about who is or not a better judge. This post is about two human beings who love each other.

Let me start by saying that I have tremendous respect for both, the girl and the boy.

If he loves a girl, and if she loves him in return, then the matter is settled. Marry her, take care of her, keep her happy, start a family. Why complicate matters with unnecessary factors? No true religion will ever oppose true love.


Please, people, Hinduism is not a religion! Hinduism is a faith, a philosophy. It is a science in its own right. Hinduism also teaches unconditional love, acceptance and compassion.

One who rejects another human being on basis of cult, class, religion, creed, caste or any other criteria, is not a Hindu, but is just a crazy, fanatic.

I don't sympathize with lunatics or fanatics.


What I have said above obviously requires a very high level of understanding. I hope, with all my heart, that the parents will try and undertsand this. And if they don't, then they will be responsible for all the pain that ensues.



**however, he took the risk by falling in love with a girl from a different religion.**

I really don't understand this. What risk? Nobody decides well in advance to fall in love. Nor can make elaborate preparations prior to falling in love. Love just happens. It is natural.


Well, a lot more could be said on this matter, but I must also understand that I may have no right to air my intensity on my friend's blog.

I pray that all goes well with the pair, and I also pray that religion shouldn't become their epitaph.

God be with them, and give them the strength they need.

Tarun said...

I can't comment anything for ur friend. As for ur skill I think u just judged based on his act. Did u ask why he is doing may be that girl too don't want to be seen by others. To judge we should know both sides of story. But nice try though.

Sudeep said...

Honour killing is not some stupid gossip ..

getting killed by ur parents n cousins for the sake of family's reputation is hell than some stupid comments frm passerby..

if she is gonna get killed wht there is remaining to think for her fucki' future??

Dawn....सेहर said...

After reading the story of ur friend...I totally think you are right...as he is a coward!!! One who loves doesnt have to hide...unless he feels what he is doing is wrong.
We all do hide things when we fear something is not right...so he need to grow up a bit...:)

You go gal...u said it good....u score all 10 ;)
cheers

Deepali said...

I think someone pointed out the relatives idea above and brown people know very well what that can all be about !

Apart from that, I think sometimes people just don't understand certain relationships. So maybe he only cares to explain and be honest with his parents and close friends.

Keshi said...

***PradeepK

Heyy Pradeep that was an awesome and genuine analysis! Thanks I really value ur thoughts...u think very openly and honestly...no hanky panky and not diplomatic at all..that's what I like abt ya...


**One who rejects another human being on basis of cult, class, religion, creed, caste or any other criteria, is not a Hindu, but is just a crazy, fanatic.

yep...but that's what his parents r like...he's not like that. He's ready to marry her.


** What risk? Nobody decides well in advance to fall in love.Love just happens. It is natural.

Thats so true! But I think some ppl said that he took the RISK, in the sense that he knew the consequences..that his parents would never like a Muslim girl as the bride of their son. He knew that b4 yet he took the chance...that's what they mean. I know what u mean..love just happens..there r no conditions...but some ppl know what their families r like...and if he still dint care abt what the family thought, then why is he hiding her now - for 6 long years??


Thanks so much for ur very genuine thoughts..I reall belive in all what u said...excellent points!



















***Tarun

ello Tarun :)


**As for ur skill I think u just judged based on his act.

Definitely...dun we all judge ppl by what they think, speak and do?


**Did u ask why he is doing may be that girl too don't want to be seen by others.

I asked...he said it's cos he doesnt want the realtives to talk abt them???


**To judge we should know both sides of story. But nice try though.

yes we should...apparently the girl wants his parents' blessings too. That's ok. But why hide from the society?













***Sudeep

elllooo Sudddz!


**Honour killing is not some stupid gossip...getting killed by ur parents n cousins for the sake of family's reputation is hell than some stupid comments frm passerby..

Very true! But why would u worry abt all that if u love the girl anyways?


**if she is gonna get killed wht there is remaining to think for her fucki' future??

So true!










***Dawn

hello girl hugggggggz!


**I totally think you are right...as he is a coward!!! One who loves doesnt have to hide...unless he feels what he is doing is wrong. We all do hide things when we fear something is not right...so he need to grow up a bit...:)


So true! THANK U Dawn ! Cos I feel the same abt him....if u love someone u un have to hide em...besides we hide certain things only when we know something is wrong in our own thinking...


Thanks dear...great minds think alike...:):)



















***Dee

Hello Dee hows ya?


**I think someone pointed out the relatives idea above and brown people know very well what that can all be about !

OMG yes lol...brown relatives r like leeches :):)


**Apart from that, I think sometimes people just don't understand certain relationships. So maybe he only cares to explain and be honest with his parents and close friends.

Thats true too..thanks so much!


Keshi.

coolvir said...

Mannnnn

Your comments are as(soo much wanted to say more;))intresting than your Post.

Keshi said...

lol Coolvir thanks but d u really mean it? hehehehe...

Keshi.