Wednesday, June 7

Guilty Of Innocence

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JEWEL_RAYS (AMY) FOR THE 8TH OF JUNE! LOTS OF LOVE AND KISSES TO YA HUNNY, MWAHHHHHHHHHHH!
I was thinking of watching the latest horror movie 'The Omen' last night, but since it was raining cats, dogs and even kangaroos ;-), we decided to stay indoors. Luckily one of my friends dropped in with the Hindi movie Water, a dvd I have been asking her to lend me since I read about this movie a while back. The director of this movie Deepa Mehta was not allowed to make this movie in India as there were many protests by Hindu extremists against it in 2000. The film was falsely accused of portraying Indian women as prostitutes, being part of a Christian plot against Hinduism, and even supporting the Western oppression of India. Amidst escalating protests, violence and personal death threats against Mehta and lead actors Shabana Azmi and Nandita Das, Mehta decided to cancel the production. That banned this movie in India. Although Mehta was forced to cancel Water in 2000, she never abandoned the project and last year was finally able to resume the production in Sri Lanka under an assumed name and with a new cast and a strict code of secrecy. So we watched Water last night and I was mesmerised by a bubbly little new actress who captured my heart with her very sweet and highly praise-worthy acting. Though this movie was a Hindi movie, the little actress in it is Sarala, a Sri Lankan girl and her acting is simply amazing! She had to learn Hindi (as she only spoke Sinhalese in real) just to do the movie and I think she's a brilliant little girl who is talented beyond her age. She was a treat to my eyes, heart and soul. In this movie, there's also Bollywood actor John Abraham (yes girls he looked hot even in those ancient clothes ;-) and the beautiful Bolly/Hollywood actress Lisa Ray (guys she's stunning!).

For those who haven't seen Water, the movie is about a child-bride and the heavy prices child-widows had to pay in a pre-independent India, set against the backdrop of Mahatma Gandhi's rise to power. 8yr old child-bride Chuyia (actress Sarala) hears of her child-husband's death. Her father, following the ancient custom, cuts Chuyia's long locks, shaves her head and exiles her to a widow's ashram(a spiritual place of refuge) where she is meant to live until the end of her life (yes it used to be plain cruel and unfair a life for widows back then). According to ancient Hindu texts, when a husband dies, the widow has three alternatives: Commit sati (immolate herself on her husband’s funeral pyre), Marry his brother (if one is available), or Live in forced poverty and isolation, withdrawing to an ashram for widows (one like where little Chuyia was sent to). Chuyia's aggressive and lively presence starts to affect the lives of the other widows of various ages in the ashram. She is boisterous, brutally honest and pretty cheeky. Though she is a very small girl, she asks very big questions...questions that the doomed widows in the ashram feared to even think about. She becomes very close with one of the young adult widows in the ashram Kalyani (Lisa Ray), and spends most of the time with her. The movie recites a grueling story of the harsh and punishing lives some widows spent as a result of meaningless ancient customs and poverty. Families that couldn't afford to keep their widowed children at home, sent them away to these kind of ashrams not only because of blind tradition but also because it meant one less plate to serve at home.

These women used to live in the ashram all their lives...from the tender age of 6 or 7 to the day they breathed their last breath. Hiding their desires in fear of society and culture, blinded by a faith that would punish them if they seeked any Earthly pleasures, these women suffered in silence, sacrificing their entire lives just to die one day having done nothing in life that they ever wanted to. How sad is that! I was feeling this immense pain for these women as I watched the movie and felt the need to put some sense into some very cruel people out there but my lips were sealed and my hands were tied already. These women have already served their rigorous jail terms for being a widow and for being a woman. Although it's not as harsh for widows right now, I still see various forms of oppression of widows in Indian/Sri Lankan cultures. My mother was a young widow (and she's a Hindu) and I remember she being victimised once by one of her own friends who thought it was not good for her daughter to see my mum's face as the first thing after she came of age. I also remember how one of my aunts was told not to stand infront of the wedding altar of her own daughter, just cos she is a widow and it's considered a bad omen. There is another young lady we know who's supposedly doomed for life cos she became a very young widow and so nobody even thinks she should remarry! Why are women punished this way when widowed men can go about doing anything and everything in life? Are these women supposed to be dead too just 'cos their men died? How blind and ignorant are we to go on like this even in the 21st century? Is being a widow such a terrible curse or is being a woman something to be guilty of? I think sheer ignorance is the issue here, nothing else
.
I find it revolting that widowed women are still being treated as cursed women in this modern era. No matter how much you say that the times have changed, the attitude certainly hasn't.

90 Cranium Signets:

Ekta said...

Hey keshi,
After a long time!!
Hey this sounds like an interesting movie--has heard about it but didnt know the story!!
Will try and get my hands on it too!
But ur right--somethings never change and mindset is one of them!

southpaw said...

The thoughts haven't changed as yet my friend and thats the most unfortunate issue.

sophie said...

keshy sweets
we say we are liberated....
but we are yet to be....

just for you

Hugzzz

Mr. J said...

Yep.. WATER is one movie that's different. Didn't know it was Srilanka. And that little girl... she was something really.

visithra said...

ure right about the widow thing - i hate that ceremony where some women comes and forcefully removes and breaks those symbols of matrimony - i warned every single old lady at my house if anyone did that to my mom - id scream - thanfully ppl are scared of me - n mom took it out herself

but yes there is that social problem where women are shunned by guess what women themselves - women can be the biggest enemies to their own kind

even if ppl don't practice such behaviour the ones that do try to assert it for them - ppl should just mind their own business

i dont think theyll ever learn

uttara said...

ppl say they change but they dont !!!!
n the society is the cause ...

hey devil B hows ya :D

burf said...

it is sad...

it is kinda wat da vinci code is about, 2 millenium of male oppression has changed the world from nature-worshippers to man-worshippers

PRADEEP K. said...

Welcome back Keshi, my dear. Thank you for coming back. :)

You are a wonderful soul and a sweet girl. Huggggggggzzz...

And if you ever log into YM, You'll see my offlines berating you for leaving us. Ignore them, they do not mean anything now that you are back. ;)

Cheers, and rock on!

tulipspeaks said...

i'm suppose to be on break from today onwards but how can i resist when keshi wants me to comment here? :)

so, here i am.

Those were the ancient customs meant for ancient ppl. I'm not saying they were uncivilized, but probably those customs made sense back then. The 3 choices widow has when her husband dies may be was the ONLY choice back then. those were the time when girls are seen as burden and married off at young age; those were the days when the womenfolk knew nothing about the world except for the fact it revolves around their husband. so, when he dies, she loses everything.

But now, thats not the case. I'm sad to read about child marriage which still being practised in some parts of the world. This is the era of women. This our time, gals! No, our world doesnt revolve around one person called husband, we are talking about the real world waiting for women. Time has come for women to come front. and this is certainly not the time for those ancient customs to hold us back.

guess many of u r right. i'm a feminist. period.


muuuaxxxx and hugssss

=am000nie=

Ghost Particle said...

...and we wait for movies to show the vices of the society.

RefleXtion said...

Movie sounds really interesting. Lisa Ray - dunno what to make of her...ya know...she's kinda....false in her interviews. I'll see if I can get my hands on this movie.

SamY said...

men have always feared women commin into power ... more prevalent in ancient times than today

child marriage by itself is hideous ... its like treating humans more like animals ... butchering before its too late to realize u were ... in fact I'v seen those during my trip to MP :( ... @ some vinayaka temple ... kids were standing in queue #-o ... gosh

quite honestly women r timid when it comes to handling society as compared to men ... proly just not used to it

as u rightly put its their naiveness and timerity that taken advantage of :(

anuj said...

hey gal .. umm u already said a lot .. nd all of it is true .. nd howevr sofisticated we hav bcome we still havent got over such deeds .... evils still prevail in one form or d other ..

if widows r nt restricted tdy .. thn thy r raped, abused .. so it is still their jst in a diff form ..

all we can do is to see to ourselves as to not to play on our own beliefs & stand by thm ... nd may be help d one in need ..

nd hey cheeer up gal .. u hav nevr been so quite ???? wheres tht exuberence haan .... nd u an indian ?? didnt knw :D

newyz .. TC dear . cya.

karmic_jay said...

It sounds like an interesting movie. Well written post too.
I heard the review of this movie in the car on public radio and was mesmerized by it.
The child actress was praised but the reviewer thought the movie was ok. I am not sure I will watch it. I go thro phases when I won't watch certain movies but that changes. I have seen the women in my life deal with tough circumstances (nothing as bad in the movie) and I always have trouble watching movies that depict women being treated badly.

I am sorry to hear about how your mom had to deal with issues because of her status. That is just plain wrong and a prime example of superstitions that keep people anchored in an archaic world.
Although times are changing. On a personal note, my wife lost her brother last year. So her sis-in-law is now on her own with a little daughter. But she has two loving families standing by her and she has complete freedom to do what she chooses with her life.
PS: When you said you were taking off, I wondered if there was anyway to write to you. Do you have an e-mail addy? If you feel like parting with one mine is karmicjay at gmaildotcom. If you don't thats fine too. Later :)

tt said...

Keshi, if you think human flu is bad, imagine if I said, "I come to Melbourne on plane to zee you and Sarala! lol!

Maya Cassis said...

hey keshi

So true.Women in general are not treated well but the widows have a horrible time.I used to look in horror when they taught us about child brides and Sati during our history lessons.It felt so burdening to think of all that when we are all in fairy land and cartoon world.It didn't seem to be true when we were kids but while growing up and staying away from my parents I came to know what being a girl was really like.
In my family,we are three daughters and all three of us are constantly learning how to live in a male dominated society.
I really want to see Water now that you have brought it back to notice :)

coolvir said...

Keshi for president......

I will vote for you :)

Homo Escapeons said...

Such stupid notions of honor and ill omen are heartbreaking. Maybe if those men knew that they and all vertebrates are created as a female that they might reconsider their superiority complex.

It is absolutely heartbreaking how assinine it is to have such cultural ignorance still prevailing in the 21st Century.
I can only hope that the liberation of one half of our species is accomplished in my lifetime.

The suppression of equality and basic human rights for women anywhere in the world is such an evil, ridiculous, shame on us all.
The film sounds intriquing but I'd have to watch Bend It Like Beckham, Whale Rider or the Joy Luck Club if it ends on a sad note.

Vivhyd said...

Have water on my lptop for sometime now.. will have to watch it oneday..

Manic Street Preacher said...

ive seen the movie a month n a half bak...
the most PATHETIC start comes typically when the child is asked..
"beti, do u remember getting married?"
"no."
"..uve become a widow now."
she dusnt evn know what it means!!!!
jus dropped by ur blog.

peace..!!
\m/

Manic Street Preacher said...

ive seen the movie a month n a half bak...
the most PATHETIC start comes typically when the child is asked..
"beti, do u remember getting married?"
"no."
"..uve become a widow now."
she dusnt evn know what it means!!!!
jus dropped by ur blog.

peace..!!
\m/

nishu said...

Water was quite moving I must say cool choice.

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

Hello Keshi! :)
Okay, I haven't watched Water and I was too young in 2000 (12, I guess) to remember those protests. But I've read enough about it.
Anyway, I think if such "laws" exist in the society, it's because we LET them exist. We LET them continue and we LET them become so deep rooted in our "traditions" themselves. There are a lot of women who accept this meekly...it's partly their fault too for not standing up and speaking against it. What's stopping them? The fear of getting ostracised by the society? But being widows, they're ostracised enough already. So, I don't think it'd matter much for them if they protest and break away. However, that would at least jolt the stinking society back to normal. LOSERS. I've never seen something like that around me...but read enough about it to feel outraged. Nothing can be done unless those who are affected themselves learn to protest.
And if Blogger eats my comment again today (it has done it with other people 5 times today), I swear I'll hire a hacker to destroy this site. X-(

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Finally I am able to get to the comment page...
Hey this reminded me of a trip where I visited Brindavan I guess..The place has many windows n we were shown their dewlling area..Something about tht place made me feel like those ladies were reaching out for help to get out of tht place...I dont know wht happens there n for many years I wanted to and help them, but the selfish me went with my persuits...Your post has made me ralise tht this unfinished dream can be completed and it is not late...


I would love to watch this movie but I dont think it is available here anywhere so let me wait and see...
i cant believe women are stil treated in such a manner...the peopl eI know have remarried or if they were old, they would just have fine time, no force or anything for anything!

People are so rigid in their mentalities n just blindly follow something!
BTW JOhn is sexy as ever is it...Oh...I long all the more to watch this! :)

saby said...

if u happen to see the most beautiful girl in dis world today ....

dont be silly
its not Vestie


its her

Sujit said...

yup, although the time has changed, the attitude remains the same, that would change so easily. I believe there was to be a revolution that can oppress these things!.. And as far I have looked at hindism!.. its the vedas and upanishads.. that speak about soul, its purity and divinity! that constitutes the hindusim. I really dont know the act of rituals comming in anywhere!.. and these rituals were made not back when hindusim was created!.. I believe it was some in between!... But, freinds used to say sati was introduced during mughal period where they used to brutal treat women. So, its better to die than being a slave to mughal men! and hence people used to commit sati!.. but once mughal had gone!.. the ritual remained .. thats bad!!.. just dont know.. when things would change and people will think as the time progresess!!

Darius said...

Ugh. I hadn't heard of extremist/oppressive versions of Hinduism.

Does every religion have that sickness in some form? Maybe not Buddhism. You don't seem to ever hear about Buddhists hurting people. (I think it's against their religion - DUH, right? I mean shouldn't that be really really basic to all religion?? I know I'm preaching to the choir here, just really bugs me...)

Keshi said...

~~Ekta

**somethings never change and mindset is one of them

Exactly!

hye get the movie and see it if u can...quite touching.








~~Southpaw

Southyyyy hows ya? yep the most unfortunate thing is how ppl still see widows as bad luck and cursed souls. I mean how many Indian/Sri Lankan guys will consider a widow for marriage?








~~Sophie

yes we r yet to be...spot on!

Sophie those HUGS were so very special, thanks n HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ! :)








~~Me

so u've seen it...great :) Yes it was done in Sri Lanka with many Sri Lankan actors in it too..not only the lil girl, her father and granma r also SL actors...








~~Visithra

awww I know that ur dad died too...how sad and strange that I have so many friends here who've lost their dads. I'm glad u were sticking out for ut Ma...I never let ppl say anything to my mum too these days...back then I was small so I didnt know how to handle big mouths :) Now I do. Just few weeks ago I told my Aunt off for telling that my mum must have sinned in a past life to become a widow in this life...stupid Aunt! And yeah I know abt that ceremony where the Thaali is taken off and the bangles removed...how dumb.


**women themselves - women can be the biggest enemies to their own kind

So true! I guess women need to speak up and clear and not let the society walk all over them.

Thanks Visithra!








~~Uttara

Uttsy Devil Bubzz hows ya? Im good...just had devil-toast and satanic-coffee for brekky lol!

yeah I know...society is a pain in the a##...but who cares abt the society! These women need to realise that.



Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Burf

hey Burffyyy :)

**has changed the world from nature-worshippers to man-worshippers

I know ur in DVC world these days now that u have seen tbe movie :), but yeah...the word has definitely changed from nature-worshippers to man-worshippers...ur spot on there!








~~PradeepK

hey Praddyyy...hows ya today? Got ur email. Im well and duncha worry, as long as I live, u can reach me from atleast email na :) So tc n thanks!







~~Amutha

Amuuuuuuuuuuuu awww lol u good girl :) Im so glad u commented here cos I wanted to hear wut u thought abt it...thanks a ton! Very powerful msg to women there whoaaaa!


**womenfolk knew nothing about the world except for the fact it revolves around their husband. so, when he dies, she loses everything

So true! But Amu even now most Indian/Sri Lankan women think their husbands are the world...dun they?


** This is the era of women. This our time, gals!

yes girl so wake up! Dun just bury urselves in meaningless rules just cos they were ur culture's customs. It's a good thing to respect and value ur traditions but altogether stupid to blindly follow meaningless ones...so like Amu says,this is certainly not the time for those ancient customs to hold us back.

thanks Amu for that and u tc and have a wonderful break mwahhhhhhh! be bakk soon cos I'll miss u too much :*(








~~Ghost_Particle

hey Ghosty!

**and we wait for movies to show the vices of the society

yes..isnt that silly :) But I guess alot of women cant really stand up for themselves in these kind of households...they just supress their true feelings and wait n wait...so it's good to have movies like this too..it gives the power and the encouragement for such women to speak up...








~~Reflextion

hey mate hows ya?


**...she's kinda....false in her interviews

I havent seen her interviews at all...anyways she's gorgeous looking isnt she :)







~~Samy

heyy hows u Samy dude? :)


**men have always feared women commin into power

yes true...and it's these kind of cowardly and selfish men that impose such rules on women. And even some silly women do that to other women...just cos they r uneducated.


**some vinayaka temple ... kids were standing in queue #-o ... gosh

really? It still happens in India? OMG! Why cant it be stopped cos it's a violation of children's rights...

It is indeed the ignorance in them...but we can really solve that buy education, cant we. Thanks Samy!








~~Anuj

hey Anuj how d? :)


**evils still prevail in one form or d other ..

true...even today widows r being looked at differently..stupid ppl!


Im quiet? hmmm maybe cos I was very busy this week at work :) Otherwise I can never be too quiet or slow lol! My mum says I need a slowing drug hahahaha!

Im Sri Lankan...my mum is a Hindu (with Kerala roots) and dad is a Sinhalese (pure Sri Lankan Buddhist). :) How abt u?



Keshi.

Johnny B. Good said...

dis shit drives me crazy
we all no about the plight of women in India

but wat are we doing about it?

if u have a crush on your widowed bhabi

marry her now and give her children
and dont give a damn to society and their talk

Keshi said...

~~Karmic_Jay

heyy Jay matey hows ya?


**The child actress was praised but the reviewer thought the movie was ok. I am not sure I will watch it.

did u mean 'the reviewer thought the movies was NOT ok'?


**I have seen the women in my life deal with tough circumstances

yeah I kinda know wut u mean...coming from a very traditional Hindu/Buddhist family, I myself have seen women in my family/friends putting up with alot of tough situations...and me being the very liberal thinker, finds it all too hard to fathom why they put up with that kinda thing...


**That is just plain wrong and a prime example of superstitions that keep people anchored in an archaic world.

yeah Jay...even tho we live in Aus and most of my aunts/uncles have been here for a long time, their attitude towards widows hasnt changed at all. Even last Feb when we went to my cousin's wedding in NZ, my mum was not even CONSIDERED to do the bride's ceremonies cos she is a widow (they needed 5 married women for some ritual thingy). My mum is all fine with it...she never questions anyone and I hate that. I know I cant change traditons but I certainly feel I CAN change ppl's mindsets if I try and if they have a brain.



**. But she has two loving families standing by her and she has complete freedom to do what she chooses with her life.

Thats great to hear! She's one lucky girl I guess...


hey Jay I will email u soon :) Thanks alot for that and u tc.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Twisted_Truth

hey TT :)

**imagine if I said, "I come to Melbourne on plane to zee you and Sarala!

lol now wut dus that have to do with human flu? btw I aint in Mel..Im in Syd :)







~~Maya_Casis

hey Maya how have ya been? Great to see u here.


**In my family,we are three daughters and all three of us are constantly learning how to live in a male dominated society.

aha..but I guess u have a liberal family whish is good. Cos I know ur a liberal thinker. My mum (even tho she's a Hindu) always taught me to think for myself..make decisions based on what my conscience says...even tho she's stuck in that traditional era, she's still a very free spirit.

yeah watch WATER if u can...def a great movie to see and it was made in Sri Lanka :)








~~Coolvir

hey Vir :)

**Keshi for president......

lol no ways...I hate politics and I know I wont be able to survive in parliament even for 1 day...cos I'll end up crying each time someone says something to hurt me lolllll!

u can vote for me but lets hope I dun win...cos u dun want a suki-lala as ur president d u? :):)








~~Homo_Escapions

hey mate!


**Maybe if those men knew that they and all vertebrates are created as a female that they might reconsider their superiority complex.

haha good one!


**The film sounds intriquing but I'd have to watch Bend It Like Beckham, Whale Rider or the Joy Luck Club if it ends on a sad note.

hehe...it's not sad altogether...it's quite honest and enlightening...watch it if u can. It comes with subtitles.








~~Vivhyd

hey thats great...see it then :)








~~Manic_Stree_Preacher

hey MSP WC and thanks! I rem ur nic from IndiaTimes Chat...by any chance, r u that same dude? :)


**beti, do u remember getting married?"
"no."
"..uve become a widow now."

I know..I rem that part too..so sad...such an innocent lil girl being asked such heavy questions...







~~Nishu

hey Nishu u saw it? great :)



Keshi.

sittingnut said...

heyy mate!

good morning!

i am going to see this next weekend. it is in cinemas here.

i think ppls attitudes do change, but only slowly.
that is of course no comfort to ppl who have to suffer bc of them.

another thing that hinder change is the fact that most ppl in our cultures do not openly criticize elders and their ideas out of respect even when they are patently 'bad'.
this makes for a rather hypocritical society.

in the end one has to find one's own way to escape whatever restrictions imposed by society. ('society' is one's own family and 'friends' most of the time.)

-
how glad i am you are back :-)

Keshi said...

~~The_Girl_Who_Sold_The_World

hey girl hows ya? na u havent lost this comment..lol @hacker!


**Anyway, I think if such "laws" exist in the society, it's because we LET them exist. We LET them continue and we LET them become so deep rooted in our "traditions" themselves.

So true...it's cos these women (and men) allow it to happen...it's sad but it's like these ppl want so much sadness in their life and they're addicted to meaningless sh#t!








~~Scribblez_To_Wakeup

hey Scribblez!


That's interesting..so there r places like this still in India?

**The place has many windows n we were shown their dewlling area..Something about tht place made me feel like those ladies were reaching out for help to get out of tht place

goshh sounds freaky...how do they live this way?


**Your post has made me ralise tht this unfinished dream can be completed and it is not late...

aww u wanted to help them? how generous of u that u even thought abt such a thing. I have seen this movie now and I havent even decided to help em :( Anyways I think for us to be able to help them, they must be willing to change and help themselves too. If they cant see beyond their blind faith, how can we help them?

John makes me wanna be a widow in that movie lol!








~~Saby

who is Vestie and how does that relate to this post?









~~Sujit

hey Sujit!


**its the vedas and upanishads.. that speak about soul, its purity and divinity!

aha...but did any Hindu religious text say that widows r doomed women? I wanna know that.


yes the mindset needs to change and it's something thats so very hard to change. Thanks Sujit!










~~Darius

G'day mate!


nope it's not Hinduism..it's the ppl who created such rules...just like in any other religion :) btw Buddhism is not a religion mate...it's way of life (a philosophy).



Keshi.

Anand said...

Damn!!
One more movie in the must see list!
List is ever increasing!!
And well things are improving yes, but not changing!!..
Guess it will be another 2 decades probably for things to really start changing!
Till then we can only keep our fingers crossed!

Keshi said...

~~JohnnyBGood

**we all no about the plight of women in India
but wat are we doing about it?

exactly! what r u doing abt it? U live there :)


**if u have a crush on your widowed bhabi

this is not abt lusty crushes over ur bhabi Johnny...this is abt widows and it could be anyone, not just ur bhabi.









~~Sittingnut

heyy hows u? wow it's in cinemas over there...great, go see it.


**most ppl in our cultures do not openly criticize elders and their ideas out of respect even when they are patently 'bad'.

thats so true..the 'respect' thing, I know...


**this makes for a rather hypocritical society.

so true..we suffer in fear of becoming a cultural outcast.


**in the end one has to find one's own way to escape whatever restrictions imposed by society.

spot on! the solution is in one's own hands...


**('society' is one's own family and 'friends' most of the time.)

indeed! cos everyone's so worried abt wut the 'society' thinks!


Im bak cos of genuine friends like u :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Anand

Thanks Anand!

it'll take time yeah but wut I dun u'stand is why it takes so much time for our ppl to change when the rest of the world has changed long time ago with regard to issues like this. Must be Slow thinking...


Keshi.

Sujit said...

just read the part what vedas tell about women not the part before that!!!
http://voi.org/books//hvhb/ch7.htm

Sujit said...

http://www.vivekananda.btinternet.co.uk/veda.htm

There is a part on
Aryan Ideals of Womanhood

Kumar Chetan said...

Keshi I remeber a quote I will like to say here
"Woman is the only enemy of woman."
Rest I really dont like all this and dont agree with this setup. The Hinduism you see is all distorted. Infact all interpreted to suit the requirement of powerfull. It will change. But slowly. And the change is visible if you travel to interior of India.

Ghost Particle said...

//yes..isnt that silly :) But I guess alot of women cant really stand up for themselves in these kind of households...they just supress their true feelings and wait n wait...so it's good to have movies like this too..it gives the power and the encouragement for such women to speak up...//

I agree with you..the degree of tolerance...but the physical wounds, the torture is unbearable, sometimes i feel god made womens the weakest. But in the end, the current generation wants gender equality, not to distance male and females. If we live together we can solve much of the troubles. Didnt we stand together to stand agaisnt stupid practises like sati and such.

starry nights said...

tHANKS FOR VIsiting my blog. interesting post but sad that this happens in the 21st century , I think it is just sheer ignorance and not wanting to change.

burf said...

what is "mariahing"? :D

is it something like "keshiing"? ;);)

:D

Suji said...

Seems to be an interesting movie. Will try to watch it soon. Its so true that society's attitudes don't change. Very sad situation.

talldarkman said...

Oh, how I would have loved to liberate all those young widows.....if only I had been born about 60 / 80 (or as many) years ago. ;)

But then again I am thankful that I am in this age and time, coz all of those young widows would not have compensated for the friendship of keshi,......and all the other mad (crazy) girls of IT :P

talldarkman

PS : Keshi, I have updated....but the post is boring....I myself don't approve of it......it is only on ur insistence and prodiing that I have scribbled something.

Shikha said...

Nice post..we live in a strange place with stranger people..i have seen people who,when a family copes with a death of a close relative 'faster than usual',ask among themselves "why arent they crying,why arent they mourning",rather than being happy that they have got over the death..People like to have a tragic image to pour their sympathy on,sometimes even when there is nothing tragic left..makes them feel godly..

uttara said...

hey vamp .. howz ya???

loved ur vampish pics ..lol muahhh

leave the bloody society alone .. who cares ... ya we do by some or the other means ..lol

vampish mermaid..:d

lil _kath said...

...awww i talked to ya this morning ^_^ yippeeee!!, hehe, u sounds sweet and sexy ,hugsss u kesh!
...hey my voice sucks ;( coz im still in cold u know...
...im really happy to hear you,i'm still smiling right now ^_^ coz u just said "hey kathyyyy ur voice is so sweettt" and we end up laughing and i dunno what i've told you after hehe...^_^ felt good na *wink*

..coool! i wanna see this movie...am gonna check it in dvd later, thanx for sharing sweetie :)

..have a nice day!

luv,
-kathy-

Keshi said...

~~Sujit

hey thanks for the links Sujit...will check em out soon!







~~Kumar_Chetan

hey Kumar!

**"Woman is the only enemy of woman."

true...so rightly stated. If all of those wicked mum-in-laws and sis-in-laws and widows themselves just stop treating women like 2nd class citizens, then we will really see some change...








~~Ghost_Particle

yes...u raised a very valid point..that both men and women need to work together to see a good change...everyone must oppress human inequality.


**...but the physical wounds, the torture is unbearable, sometimes i feel god made womens the weakest.

this is the lowest form of inequality. I cant even imagine how these women must feel...such a sad thing to happen!








~~Starry_Nights

WC Starry!

**I think it is just sheer ignorance and not wanting to change.

Spot on! It's time women too open their eyes and stand up for themselves.








~~Burf

hey Burf Im burfying now ;-)








~~Suji

For the Society to change, we must change first..cos we r part of the society...and we must also educate others ard us abt this...slowly but surely we will change.








~~Talldarkman

hey TDM hows ya? long time!

**.....if only I had been born about 60 / 80 (or as many) years ago

lol ur flirting even in this widow post? great :):)


aww u value me as a good friend? Im so glad to hear that TDM, thanks so much n huggggggggggz!









~~Shikha

hey girl hows gymming going? :)


**..People like to have a tragic image to pour their sympathy on,sometimes even when there is nothing tragic left..makes them feel godly..

so true! Some ppl just going on forever with grief when there's really nuttin...these ppl r so addicted to grief I think only cos they feel it's so spiritual! These widows r doing the same when in real they wud love to live life like everyone else does.









~~Uttara

lol HIII Vampish mermaid! Let me swim to the depth of ur vampish ocean...:):)

did I look like a vamp in those pics? awwwwww lolz!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Lil_Kath

awwwwwwwwww Kath YEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY now we know each other's voices...na na u sounded really cute even thru that bloody cold lol! WOW I was so happy after hearing ur voice..seriously I was in some sweet paradise :) It's so exciting when u hear a blog buddy's voice for the 1st time after knowing them for a long time...thank u so much for calling me mwahhhhhhhhhhh!


Keshi.

Rose said...

Havnt seent this movie..

Im sure i will after this post..

..Me

Die Muräne said...

I didn't see this film so far. It sounds very interesting.
Sometimes when I read or see stuff like that then I think India is such a different cultur then here in Europe. And it's hard to comment because I don't know more...
I only can tell, when my dad died there were many many people calling or visiting my mum. Giving help or whatever. All kinds of people: friends, relatives or people she hardly knew... was a great help for us all.
But nethertheless she still feels not whole and complete without him.

Gangadhar said...

not seen the movie yet..but have an idea to watch dis movie..I've seen all of her movies...

btw happy birthday to Amy...

ektaran said...

saw this movie few months back...n its just FAB

burf said...

how do u do it when u r like 10,000 kilometers away... i thought u need to be around 10 millimeters away for that :p

:D

desperado said...

yeah heard a lot abt the movie though havent watched it
well we indians love to protest on any damn issue...i guess we all take out our daily frustrations this way.be it Water, Da Vinci Code or recent petrol hike

but yeah widows are still not given the proper respect n freedom till date...just the stupid religious beliefs..though we are ready to twiest them at any point of time to suit our needs

alice said...

its so sad its not being released in India...and it's gona take some time to change the attitude Kesh...

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

Welcome back :))

Guess , i should get around to seeing Water too ....

saw Fanaa last week ...

Jo said...

Didn't know Sarala is a Srilankan girl. She was the sweetheart in this movie.

Due to the flase notion by some extremist groups, so many mediocre people think this movie is anti-Hindu. But its about the then-social evils and of course, religion will have a role in any social evils. (be it any religion).

I recently had quite a messy discussion on this movie in my blog. :-)

Jeevan said...

husband is not only a life for women, that is one of a relation, which comes in our life. The life is not end when a women become widow, there are many thing in life, to achieve and love. I really hate the religious ceremony against the women who loss his husband. Will try to watch this Water.

Alapana said...

In the last post you asked about my previous blog:) If you remember http://akruti.blogspot.com.

Now for the post.Yet to watch the movie,but then i sure agree with you,we are yet to bring lot of changes in the so called society,Damn the so called middle class educated society,these are the people who are always scared of society,most of the Dos and Donts arise from here,False prestige, Nonsensical ideologies still plague this country,specially in case of women,No i am not talking abt the so called modern women whom we read abt everywherer,Lets get into the interiors of the country and you will understand what i am saying.Strange that people of our age too sometimes follow such path blindly.
I got married recently and my granny is a widow,i remember she dint come to see me or my hubby fearing that it would be a bad omen,a few relatives warned me not to meet her first.
Me and my husband went and met her first thing in the morning,and no,no harm happened to either of us, Its all in the way we think,and i feel its high time alteast our generation be ready to have their own opinions on such issues instead of depending on shastras or puranas or vedas,I strongly belive that the biggest religion is humanity,and which has no rules to follow and neither any traditions to talk about,we all are human,and if we can treat eachother with respect that would make this world a beautiful place to live in.
Women is a beautiful part of this world,lets not demean them with such issues which make no sense,and for that we and our thinking mostly must change,i hope it does,thats when we can say there is true progress.

rebel_on_loose said...

A deep n thought provoking post from u this time Keshi....
Though i feel this widow discrimination is no more to be seen in the urban society,but yea the scene is quite bad in the rural areas even now.
Looks like i have to chk out Water now....and u do check out Omen !!

Dewdrop said...

Keshi, off topic but just wanted to wave you a hello. I've been slacking on Viva Forever, gimme sometime to catch up please. Hope you been well :)

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Hey
I am not sure how they are treated bu the place looked very dingy from the outisde and I could get a vibe looking at the place that the women were like unhappy there.

We can do further investigation to find out what is really within the walls...

And wht u said is true...! Help is really hep when it is accepted and wanted...

christabelle said...

keshi, this is so true, this violation of women is just 2 bad, in my tribe God help u if ur husband dies, hm, 1st u'll be accused of killingg him before being subjected to various humiliations, my mum too was a widow, if not 4 my brothers who stood their ground she 2 wld hv bn subjected to such, believe me I've seen it happen and it's not something u wish even for ur enemy!Why,in this day and age? somebody pls answer.

Sudeep said...

Guilty thief Keshi victimising innocent Sudeep.. he he

was thinking of watching the latest horror movie 'The Omen' last night
gud i shelved the thought of coming to ur house last nite.. m scared of horror movies..lol

I still dont understand the logic behind banning movies dealing on such topics

No matter how much you say that the times have changed, the attitude certainly hasn't.
i agree.. hope it changes n tht too soon

starbender said...

Happy Birthday 2 Jewel!
:)

anuj said...

m an indian ..

chal TC .

Mr. Maverick said...

I too watched it last week. I loved it. I dont really like Lisa Ray, but her performance wasnt bad.

Some of the dialogues were fantastic. Especially the one where John Abraham's friend is explaining the 'Unnatural Concern'.

Arun

saby said...

June 8 was Carafs bday too

saby said...

What is Old Age?
It is that condition when you can no longer be swept off your feet by the magic of a moment.

Its a disease. One that should be eliminated.

By the way;
A Rajasthani man turned 137 years young on May 20!!!
Now that's what I call OOMPH!
http://news.webindia123.com/news/Articles/India/20060520/340060.html
posted by Caraf @ 2:40 PM 3 comments

Sunday, June 04, 2006

saby said...

wooo hooo
i beat the blogger outage

sittingnut said...

heyy mate!

there was a problem with blogger earlier when i tried to comment . :-(

yes i am going to see this during weekend :-)

hope you have another great weekend.

Keshi said...

~~Rose

:) Thanks!







~~Die Muräne

heyyy sweet Swiss Choc ;-)


**Sometimes when I read or see stuff like that then I think India is such a different cultur then here in Europe.


it sure is different from ur culture ha...well we r all learning each others' cultures too from blogs...isnt that fun :)



**I only can tell, when my dad died there were many many people calling or visiting my mum.

ohh no ur dad is dead too? this is such a strange thing cos most of my friends here dun have their dads :( Im so sorry to hear of ur dad's death Murane...


**But nethertheless she still feels not whole and complete without him.

yep...its the same way my mum feels...but she never mentions it but I can sense those vibes...







~~Gangadhar

Gangzz u'll like this movie...see it if u can.








~~Ektaran

WC Ektaran and thanks :)








~~Desperado

**well we indians love to protest on any damn issue...

lol true...


**but yeah widows are still not given the proper respect n freedom till date...

yes...and alot of ppl may say it's much better today etc but it really isnt...cos I aint talking abt the rich and spoilt widows...Im talkin abt the middle-class and the very poor widows...







~~Alice

yeah it takes alot of time for ppl to change...







~~*. D E E P A .* ~

now Deepz u ok???

and how was Fanaa? I love the songs in it!







~~Jo

hey Jo :)


**Didn't know Sarala is a Srilankan girl. She was the sweetheart in this movie.

aha...such a cutey!


**But its about the then-social evils and of course, religion will have a role in any social evils. (be it any religion).

so true! blind faith.



**I recently had quite a messy discussion on this movie in my blog. :-)

u did? aww..I better check it out then, thanks Jo!








~~Jeevan


**when a women become widow, there are many thing in life, to achieve and love.

true..but how many of us Indians really believe in that?


**I really hate the religious ceremony against the women who loss his husband.

yeah...the removing of the thaali and the bangles etc...stupid drama!







~~Alapana


**In the last post you asked about my previous blog:) If you remember http://akruti.blogspot.com.

awwwwwwwww is that u? :):) So sweet, now I remember, thanks!


**Damn the so called middle class educated society,these are the people who are always scared of society...

so true!


**No i am not talking abt the so called modern women whom we read abt everywherer,Lets get into the interiors of the country and you will understand what i am saying.

Spot on!


**Strange that people of our age too sometimes follow such path blindly.

OMG yes! I have few cousins like that too...they r so modern in every other way but they still believe in this kinda sh#t!



**I got married recently and my granny is a widow,i remember she dint come to see me or my hubby fearing that it would be a bad omen,a few relatives warned me not to meet her first.

lol this sounds so much like my family....:):) Im glad u went and met her anyways...cos WE have to make a change or else our children will always end up believing and following crap like this.


**we all are human,and if we can treat eachother with respect that would make this world a beautiful place to live in.

Exactly! Thats all we need.

Thanks so much Alapana!







~~Rebel_On_Loose

Rebbbbbbz!


**Though i feel this widow discrimination is no more to be seen in the urban society,but yea the scene is quite bad in the rural areas even now.

yes...how many rural women must be suffering in silence.


**Looks like i have to chk out Water now....and u do check out Omen !!

hehe yep will do :)







~~Dewdrop

Dewdyyyyyyyyy I'll be honest I was thinking u left me for good :*( Like most of my friends did. But I have faith in ya cos I know ur a level-headed chick with a very clear and unbiased mind...thanks so much for dropping by and letting me know that ur only busy and nothing else was going on...I always love to see u here and read ur wise thoughts...thanks n hugggggggggz come back soon, mwahhh Dewdy-dooo!







~~SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP

hey Scribblez!


**place looked very dingy from the outisde and I could get a vibe looking at the place that the women were like unhappy there.

sounds so depressing...


**We can do further investigation to find out what is really within the walls...

yeah we should I think...any leads to how to go abt doing it?








~~christabelle

Chrissss!


**if not 4 my brothers who stood their ground she 2 wld hv bn subjected to such...

really? ur mum too? goshhhh I hope she's ok now and that she's happy...


**Why,in this day and age? somebody pls answer.

I think ppl dun wanna move on from what their ancient families believed...it's the cultural customs and the relgious jargon. ppl need to break those rules and start to think with a clear conscience that's not fogged up by stupid man-made rules.








~~Sudeep

Sudddddddddz WB! :)

**Guilty thief Keshi victimising innocent Sudeep.. he he

lol huhhhh? why d u say so? U a victim of what? All I know is that Im a victim of ur pole-dancing lol!


**gud i shelved the thought of coming to ur house last nite.. m scared of horror movies..lol

hahahaha I wud have scared u then, not the movie!!


**I still dont understand the logic behind banning movies dealing on such topics

me neither...must be fanaticism...








~~Starbender

thanks Star!







~~Anuj

**m an indian ..

duhhh I know that lol but wut I meant was which part of India etc :)

TC.








~~Mr. Maverick

Arun hows ya?


**I too watched it last week. I loved it. I dont really like Lisa Ray, but her performance wasnt bad.

why do some guys here dislike Lisa Ray? Care to tell me...:)


**Especially the one where John Abraham's friend is explaining the 'Unnatural Concern'.

aha...so true!








~~Saby

**June 8 was Carafs bday too

awww I better wish her then...thanks Saby!








~~Sittingnut

hey yeah BLOGGER sucks :):)


**yes i am going to see this during weekend :-)

cool!

U have a great weekend too!



Keshi.

visithra said...

Ppl were just a supersticious lot

n i still exert that a lot of these silly notions were brought by men n established by women

when my dad passed away mom used to do that to herself - stay at the background - not do anything - not dress up like she used to - i had to force her to do a lot of things - now shes ok but of course some ppl like ur aunt have the foulest mouths

birth n date are 2 things everyone must go through - so whats the big deal?

Keshi said...

Visithra I agree with u 100%. It's mostly insecure fanatic men who impose dumb rules on women and then some very scared women who follow em...sighhhhhhhhh!

My mum is the same when it comes to clothes now..doesnt wear all that flashy colors (she used to have 100s of beautiful sarees and dresses)...well not anymore...and one of my aunts has the BIGGEST mouths too.

yeah we all r born and we all die soem day...so wuts the big deal!

Kesh.

Madhu said...

after reading ur post, am surely gonna see the movie.

its a sad thing that ppl have manipulated the rules and made society a puppet to these rules. back then ppl just followed blindly, but now no more. def this cant mean overnite changes but when ppl like us put our thoughts to action, things will definitely change.

nowadays remarriage for young widows is not uncommon, and the best part is parents initiate this showing that the attitude towards girl child has changed.

l'heretique said...

"According to ancient Hindu texts, when a husband dies, the widow has three alternatives: Commit sati (immolate herself on her husband’s funeral pyre), Marry his brother (if one is available), or Live in forced poverty and isolation, withdrawing to an ashram for widows"

JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY; CAN ANY ONE TELL ME WHERE/IN WHICH ANCIENT HINDU TEXT IS THIS ACTUALLY WRITTEN?

Ashley said...

Water is still in the theater here in the US, but I haven't seen it, yet. I was waiting for the DVD! Earth and Fire were excellent films.

L'heretique asked about sati (bride immolation). I have looked into this issue in the past and I could not find any Vedic ('Hindu') text to support this practice. It is mentioned in the Mahabharata, the queen commits suicide when her husband, the king, dies. That's about all I know.

cheesemeister said...

Why, why, why did they see the need to remake The Omen? Apparently this version isn't even particularly scary. I'll probably see it but not in the theatre.
Seems that in most societies women are oppressed to one degree or another. Which is why we have to be twice as tough as men. Not "flexing our muscles" tough but tough inside. Women are often the source of strength in difficult times yet rarely are they acknowledged for it.
I'm not saying that only men are responsible for this. Women have to take a stand to change attitudes too. For all the good men and women who work towards making things better for all--right on!
Peace.

Keshi said...

~~Madhu

hey Madhu thats true...alot of these women r playin puppet...

**. back then ppl just followed blindly, but now no more.

I too thought that it was just in the olden days. But some ppl here said that it stil happens in India...and there r widow ashrams like this in some places.







~~l'heretique

**JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY; CAN ANY ONE TELL ME WHERE/IN WHICH ANCIENT HINDU TEXT IS THIS ACTUALLY WRITTEN?

According to WIKIPEDIA, it was wriiten in the ancient Hindu text RIG VEDA...

have a look here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sati_(practice)








~~Ashley

hey Ashley WC and thanks :)


**Earth and Fire were excellent films.

yeah I heard alot abt these movies...I will check them out soon.


Wikipedia says abt the text Rig Veda that sanctions the Sati...I have given the link to heretique in the previous reply. Have a look. Yeah Mahabharata mentions abt a queen who commit suicide over her husband's death.








~~Cheesemesiter

Meisterzz I saw THE OMEN...will tell u all abt it soon :)


**Women are often the source of strength in difficult times yet rarely are they acknowledged for it.

so true...well I guess it's cos we r just women ha? sad.


Keshi.

kandykane said...

i still wish Lisa Ray wasn't chosen as the lead actress..

Keshi said...

~~KandyKane

hey WC KandyKane :)

Why do so many ppl dislike Lisa Ray? I dunno her much but can u tell me why she's so disliked? thanks!

Keshi.

tsduff said...

You know Keshi, I am a widow. The injustice and inhumanity for anyone to be made to suffer for the loss of one's spouse is just unimaginable.

Keshi said...

~~Terry

wutttttt Terry sweety ur a widow? I never knew! How? Cos ur with someone right now na? Was it b4 then?

Keshi.

tsduff said...

I lost my husband (he was ten years older than I) to liver failure 2 years ago. We knew he wasn't healthy, but had no idea he would just die suddenly like he did. He was 55 years old.

My grieving eyes were downcast, upon the ground and I thought I would never live again. Then, through a new door appeared the first Love of my life - the first intimate boyfriend I ever had (I was 14, he was 15 when we first met). Fate was just right that we should be together, as neither one of us was looking to meet someone. We have been together ever since, partners for life. I wonder sometimes, why I am so blessed, while others never find true love at all.

Keshi said...

Terry now that is a true fairy tale! WOW Im so happy u found ur teenage swt hrt again. Sorry that ur husband died but then u have true love in ur life again..thats what matters. Im so HAPPY for ya, hugggggggggz!

Keshi.

Deepali said...

Water comes under skepticism when you consider the subject taken i.e. widow prostitution in pre-independence Benaras.

Notice the time lapse. Also notice the small scale issue.Overall irrelevant today.

My beef is that she chose a sensational story which does nothing for any widow today in India and parades as one who wants to 'uplift' Hindu widows. The issues facing them are clearly different and it varies from each part of India across different religions. If she's actually interested in addressing their plight then why not get real with the time period and sample size?

I don't like how she coolly portrayed it as a widespread phenomenon still prevalent today which does nothing to stereotypes and gross misconceptions of hindu women outside of India. Lisa Ray didn't even come close to looking her actual role in the movie. Very poor characterization via wardrobe and make up.

Chuiya was the real saving grace of the movie and I'm with you on how talented the little girl is.

I'm wary of Mehta's works because she approaches India with a heavy Oriental bias - one of the last things you'd expect from someone of Indian origin.

Even more dubious is why Canadian government funds her projects - this has nothing to do with Indo-Canadian women or Hindu-Canadian women!

TLW said...

Where are your other posts that I thought I read

Keshi said...

~~Dee

heyy hows u Dee? long time!


**My beef is that she chose a sensational story which does nothing for any widow today in India and parades as one who wants to 'uplift' Hindu widows.

U think so? Well this was my first time watching a Mehta movie and I thought while using an ancient practice, she portrayed how widows r treated even now. Not that they r sent to ashrams anymore but just think abt how many Indian widows r considered a bad omen even today.

yeah Chuiya was superrrb! :)







~~TLW

hey TLW!

wut d u mean other posts??

Keshi.