Monday, January 23

Eyes that Touch...

I know a pair of eyes that are the most beautiful ever...
They capture my heart and touch my soul...
'Cos those eyes not only see,
They listen,
They speak,
But mostly they touch...
Touch the deepest places of my soul...
Touch me with every word they speak...
They touch me just by listening to me...
Touch me when they don't do anything at all..
They touch me in a way that just cannot be told...
So touch me with that magic again and again
For they show me how it's not to be in pain...

And those eyes that 'touch' belong to a wonderful girl called Musings...and her birthday is on the 25th of Jan. Happy Birthday mesmerising eyes
m000nie! You deserve only THE BEST. May all your current secret wishes and dreams come true in this brand new year of your life and may God bless you with a long and joyous life!

Folks, let's celebrate m000nie with each of you writing few poetic lines about her, as I know she loves poems :) It doesn't have to be can use your own language and just translate for all of us if you can, thanks! Let's start the dazzling party folks
! m000nie your beautiful eyes and mesmerising spirit just take my breath away...Have a great day on Wednesday sweety!
Since everyone wanted to see m000nie's eyes, here's the link she provided :
Guys I wont be regular in blogging for the next 3 weeks or so 'cos I have to attend my cousin's wedding in New Zealand. I will be flying out on the 25th (hence these early wishes to m000nie in order to celebrate her before I leave), so till then please take care and don't miss me too much :*( I will miss you all like crazy and I will try to log in from there :) MUAHHHHHHHHH all, Au Revoir!

Thursday, January 19


How many of us have great many wishes. Infact there is no one without a single wish inside of them. Every damn living thing wishes for something. Even animals wish for ex-pet kitty Cindy used to wish that she was a moviestar 'cos she always acted like one...walking around like Marilyn Monroe and snobbing other so cute. Anyways have you noticed that it's wishes that don't mostly come true...we wish for something but we can only wish for that...that's why we say 'I wish..', 'you wish!', 'wishing I could...', 'I wish for you...', 'best wishes...' etc etc. Cos we can only wish at the time we wish and fingers crossed, hope for the best.

Once upon a frikkin time, I used to wish for a perfect world...atleast around me...great everlasting friendships, boy next-door being a Tom Cruise or Hugh Grant look-a-like (yeah right...Keshi roll her eyes...), going to parties dressed up in JLO kinda clothes, cat-walking the ramp strutting my stuff ;-), being an air hostess who's the hottest in the air lol!, perfect days with sun and sun alone, mum to be happy forever, dad to be by my side when I marry that over-dosed guy, husband and kids that look like the Brady Bunch family, cooking food that look and taste like something out of a recipe book...oh how I wish! 'Cos not all friends remained forever, no Cruise look-a-alike next door but alot of Richard Symmonds look-a-likes hell yeah, no JLO kinda clothes could be worn out cos mum simply wouldnt let me :(, no air-hostess job 'cos my teachers figured out I had the kind of cranium that could be used on ground, no perfect days
'cos the sun sets everyday and the darkness comes out, mum turned a widow quite young, dad didn't even see me going past year 10, no Brady Bunch family - not even a Mr.Brady duhh, no cooking without the smoke alarm going off - leave aside the recipe books! Gosh didn't I say these were just wishes...that these were just desires man, not confirmed promises from God. I think even He just wishes for a break from me sometimes lol!

I think Dreams are different...they are kind of goals in life and most of us achieve atleast some of them in our lives...but wishes are always wishes...why? Right now I wish for a genie to come out of nowhere and make this one wish come true...I wish that all your wishes come true - quick, give me one current wish dudes :)

Tuesday, January 17

The Birthday Present

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y T A N V I !!

I know it's on the 18th of January but I wanted to cheat and be the first to wish Tanvi, one of the very few genuine people on the net. She is my little sis that I never had. She was my friend when everyone drifted away from me. She tried to understand me...took time and effort to get to know me...did not just diss me just cos others did. She went through alot herself but was never too late to come wipe my tears...she was always there, somewhere on the net in bits and bytes, pouring her love and care for me. So Tanvi, on your birthday I want to wish you a beautiful day with alot of love and care from all your loved-ones and may that love and care last for many more years to come...MUAHHHHHHH!

On my birthday I get very emotional's like I just want everyone to know I exist, lol! I
seek attention and want to be wished well etc...yes I'm vain but don't forget I'm only human. I love cakes, candles, presents, chamapgne and celebrations...I want people, music, dancing, chatter, food and laughter. But thinking of all that, now I wonder if that's what birthdays are really about?? It's a celebration of life...yes..but leaving the party out, lets think a bit more deep. On a birthday, maybe one should think about what he/she has been to others so far in his/her life...what are his/her achievements in terms of being a human being...what have you been to others. Cos that's what really matters in the end. Not your money, clothes, shoes, cars, houses, parties or degrees. It's what sort of person you have turned out to be and realising what your mission in this life is. I know I was born to try even if all hope is lost...try in my darkest hour even if I don't see any light at the time. The purpose I'm here is still not very clear but as long as I keep trying I will get closer to the mission. This year on my birthday, I'm going to take a quiet walk along the beach and think back on what I have been to myself and to others...whether I have been what I should really be. Whether I deserve the best birthday present ever - the realisation of myself. Look at the radiant candles on my cake and think of how many people's lives I may have enlightened - or how much more I have to work on it. With Tanvi, I know she is just being herself and doing her bit the right way...she's an adorable little darling who has a heart of gold...Tanvi you have lived every minute of your life to the fullest, never hurting anyone and I admire you for that. Your positive and selfless spirit just rocks! I dedicate 'Disappear' by Hoobastank especially for you..I remember you told me once that you love this song :) So tell me guys, what does a Birthday really mean to you and how do you usually spend your birthday? What do you intend to do this year on your birthday?

Friday, January 13

Independent Hunnies

Girls girls Chalrlies' Angels (Uttsy and st000nie;-) and all the other beautiful and smart angels here...honestly tell me how many of you are 'decently' Independent? uh oh...before telling me that, you must tell me what Independence means to each of me it means enjoying my freewill to the fullest, having my own money, space, peace and freedom to think, speak, do whatever I want without having to feel guilty about it and hurting anyone's feelings.

I think women of this era have come a long way since the olden days...they have evolved from mere housewives to smart working housewives and super mums...
from mere daughters to intelligent and financially independent working women...from dependents to breadwinners of familes...from basically nothing to THE ONLY thing ;-) Women have always been an essential part of the society and family...if not for women there won't be a mother, daughter, sister and a damn smart friend around..hehe...boys chill - you are equivalent in all that too. But some men make their women so dependent on them that these women have no freedom to do what they want. I have friends who are smart and having good positions at work but they still depend on their husbands/dads/boyfriends etc for many many things that they shouldn't really be dependent for. I don't mean that they shouldn't be dependent at alll and that they should totally run free...everyone needs to depend on someone somehow...but it should never be gender-driven and a total invasion of individual freedom. Personal freedom and space is as important as much as mutual consent and respect. My mum was a housewife and although my mum and dad loved each other alot, she was completely dependent on my dad for many things...for money and many decisions. Her whole world revolved around my dad. And when dad died she was at a complete loss...but being the smarty that she is, she picked up and survived. But she did go through alot to arrive at that, as a result of her total dependence on dad before his death. Times have changed...but I still know of some women who won't do anything without their men's consent. Even if that means choosing someone to marry, wearing certain clothes, going out with the girls, drinking and dancing etc..what many of you too know such women?

All I can say what you like girls and be independent in your thinking as long as it won't demean you or your loved ones...being smart and doing a great job aren't enough to set you free in life...just think independant. That doesnt mean being stubborn and not listening to the people you love, but it means thinking for yourself and doing what you think is right as long as it doesn't hurt someone else. All the women who are Independent throw your hands above me...c'mon now ;-)

Thursday, January 12

Mental Judge

Someone said that I'm too clingy...well I may what? What about you? You are too un-clingy (if there's such a word, lol!). We judge alot of people and their morals every single day based on their looks, thoughts, words, deeds, jobs, life-styles etc etc.. Basically we are walking judges, are we not? I'm not ashamed to say that I judge alot of people too. Not that I think Im perfect but it's hard not to judge anyone. That's a normal human trait - to judge someone the moment they meet you or from long-term acquaintances. But what is the limit to judging so we don't over-judge someone? I mean when do we stop being unfair or being over-confident about ourselves that we point fingers at others as if we are too good in every frikkin way? Judgment overrule! :)

Take this example and tell me if I was being too judgmental or not (this is a true story).

One of my friends has a long-term girlfriend - he is a Hindu and she is a Muslim (they are both in their late 20s). His parents don't approve of him marrying her just because of her religion (but that's not my main point here). So he's waiting for them to approve of her so he can marry her. I could live with that lol, but what's bothering me is that he doesn't want to talk about her with anyone else...he doesnt want to mention about her to anyone outside his close friends-circle! He doesnt even like to be seen out with her especially by his relatives. I find that ridiculous and disrespectful to the girl. I'm sorry but I believe that Love conquers all and nothing will stop you if you love someone. And the fact that he's keeping her in the closet till the parents approve of her,
is just weird and too gutless - my judgement on him.

Ok here's the question...I told him that he's confused what love is and that it doesn't look like he
knows what true love he got annoyed with me. And he said that Love is just not movie-perfect and that I live in a dreamland, and that in real life parents' blessings matter alot. True, I agree parents' blessings matter, but hiding her from the society? I think he's a weirdo and that he's a coward and I told him so hehe. Am I being a good judge here or too judgmental or just mental? :) Be honest with what you think. Have I crossed the limits? To me, judging someone is normal comparing with your morals and experiences and that too with an open view to his/her morals...but over-judging occurs when your opinion about someone is formed soully on what you think is right...when you don't see the other person's point of view and when you think that only your views are correct. In this case, I really wouldn't hide my boyfriend even if he's not approved of by my parents...yes, I know that I'm only thinking of what I'd be doing in such a situation, but isn't true love generally blind :) - so what's your verdict on my friend and my judgmental skills?

Wednesday, January 11

Discharge me

You Know You're Right - NIRVANA

I will never bother you
I will never promise to
I will never follow you
I will never bother you
Never speak a word again
I will crawl away for good
I will move away from here
You won’t be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it would come to this
Things have never been so swell
I have never felt this well
Pain...You know you’re right...
I’m so warm and calm inside
I no longer have to hide
Let’s talk about someone else
Steaming soup against her mouth
Nothing really bothers her
She just wants to love herself
I will move away from here
You won’t be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it’d come to this
Things have never been so swell
I have never felt this well Pain...
You know you’re right...Pain...

(I'm loving the fact that I can now post music vidoes instead of pics for my posts...atleast till I get bored of it :) I will attach a video for some of my posts in future...and these are songs I love too much and listened to for many years...i.o.w. these songs were there for me when no one else was..hope you'll enjoy them too and would get to know me better from my taste of music. Uttsy and FM are going to love seeing Kurt in action ;-)).

Have you known people who claim that they are your goooood friends but never show it? Well I have known some people like that. When he was depressed, sad and lonely I was around for him...consoling him, telling him that everything will be alright...that the sun will rise again tomorrow wiping away the darkness...that the flowers will bloom again in Spring giving life to Winter-stricken trees...that the birds will sing again ripping away the deadly silence in his ears...that the music will play again in that old dusty jukebox...that there's a rainbow waiting to light up his sky after the pouring rain. He admired me, glorified me, blessed me and spoke about how we would be forever friends...and how thankful he is for all the love and care I gave he looked forward to seeing me everyday, talking to me everyday and bathing in my divine glory...yadda yadda yadda...only in words but. He never showed it. He only spoke of it - yawwwwn! Cos the moment my world came crashing down, he disappeared. He was running away from me like he was trying to avoid a contagious disease. Like I was a demon that was trying to swallow his pride. Like I was a I was a worthless piece of garbage that if avoided could bring a peaceful life to him. Yes that's what his friendship was like...only verbal, no actions. Good for you mate...just discharge me cos I wanna be free of your fake admirations and empty words - they don't do anything for me. You are as fake as your words are. I wanted only one thing from you - a good heart but you don't even know what that is - I know, it takes a lot more than just words to have a heart. So thanks for releasing me. Never wanted to even say this but this is my way of getting it off my chest and setting myself free. I will never bother you I will never promise to I will never follow you I will never bother you Never speak a word again I will crawl away for good I will move away from here You won’t be afraid of fear....You know you're right.

Monday, January 9

November Rain

First of all I wanna thank My_Unveilings (Amy) for all the help she offered regarding video posts. Thanks Amy I love ya and I will always be grateful to you for this! This is one of my favorite songs and it is dedicated to someone who loved me but I didnt have the freedom to love him back then...he's not here anymore. One October was the bluest month for me and it followed with cold November rains forever...

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head just knowin' that you were mine..all mine
So if you want to love methen darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin' In the cold November rain
Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you
Sometimes I need some time...on my own
Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain,
ohhh yeahhh I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain
Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one...

~~November Rain - Guns N Roses

Wednesday, January 4

Calling Mr.Right...Hearing Mr.Wrong!

The men I meet, boy oh boy! How come all the other girls have cool guys as their boyfreinds and I somehow get attracted to jerks? Like Linny's latest post stated, I strongly believe I have genes that get me attracted to jerks/losers. Yep let's blame it on the genes. At the beginning he's really cool and very interesting to hang around with. But very soon he'll demonstrate the fact that my genes wont and don't change - they have got me attracted to just another jerk. Trrrrrrring trrrrrrring...woooooooosh - out the door!

Well, what is it that makes you get attracted to someone initially? For me t's the matter what people say, looks are important for first impressions. I like a guy to be smartly and neatly dressed (not overly neat cos I really would like him to be straight..), I would want him to be decently clean (not stinky as hell that would make me wanna run 871 miles - boy that would be good for my waisteline though..), I would want him to have a cute and honest smile (not a fake one just to find someone to do his laundry or to listen to his snores..) and I would want him to have some sex appeal (now that's really important isnt it?). Well all of these factors are there in most of the guys I meet, but sooner or later he would show that he's either a Momma's boy or Mr.Wrong from Dumbdudeland or jealous and selfish Mr.Know-it-all or Prince Not-so-charming-with-no-manners or Mr.Im-too-simple-and-I-love-Scratching, or Chain-smoking gingivitis speciman or an About-to-become-murder-victim - btw Im the murderer. That don't impress me much..ah ah! They say love is blind but you certainly can't be blind to all of that can you?

Maybe Im quite unlucky in the Romance Department cos no matter how romantic or what-not I can be, the guy ends up being a jerk. You may think I'm the real loser - well in a way yes cos I don't seem to find my man so easily...but Im not the one who's not impressing them - cos while they are highly impressed with me, they never impress me. Not that I'm playing hard-to-get either, they just simply turn me off. The fact that he's good-looking, has a zillion dollars in his bank, has a new convertible Porche or that he has a posh house with a pool and spa don't impress me - please get real crazy man! Somehow I must admit that I did know few great guys for a while, and that's just before they turned jerky. Yeah, so where are all the great guys? They say either they are married or are gay, so then when is it my turn to bump into my man or is it that he has already turned gay? Please don't say 'Keshi your man will come along at the right time' I said before, either he's on a sleeping pill overdose (most probably dead by now) or he wasnt born at all. And please don't say 'Keshi there is a soul mate for everyone and he will come on horseback just for you'...either his horse is brain-dead that it doesnt know how to get here or he's gone somewhere else and happily married, with kids going to kindy by now - oh I give up!

A close friend asked me if I think we are able to be happy without having a answer is YES...I'm quite happy right now, although it would be good if a man existed in my life. But That's not the only Happiness in life..being happy is totally upto doesnt come from any external's within you and happiness is what you define it to be, and it's a constant vigil one must maintain. But I sure would like to get into a beautiful bridal dress and take nice romantic photos even if there's no marriage after that lol! And yeah...they say Men are from man sure is still in Mars not knowing where Earth is - poor guy. Didnt I say I have some special genes that attract me to Martians, well that's why he's still there. What about you, what initial qualities impress you and how easily do they all fall apart after a while? And do you honestly think a Mr./Miss.Right exists or we just have to mould one out of a Mr./Miss.Wrong no matter how pathetic they initially are?

Tuesday, January 3

Bridge of Love

G'day mates!! I wish you all a very happy, healthy and successful New Year surrounded by Love! First of all let me tell you how much I missed you all - well actually I can't express it enough, cos words are just not enough. Though I had heaps of fun,parties, dancing, trips etc, a huge part of me was missing...and that was YOU - so, muahhhhhhhhhhh guys and I'm so glad to be back with all of you (Keshi all smiles now :)

On Christmas day I was at a b'day and Christmas party and it was huge! We danced till dawn and I had heaps of fun. But the best night I ever had was the 31st night...the Sydney Harbor bridge as usual was doing it's best to usher the New Year in, in great style. This year's theme was LOVE. The fireworks this time was unbelievable! The bridge had a glowing heart on display and the fireworks started with the song 'Don't funk with my heart' by Black-eyed peas (Attached are some pics of the Sydney Harbor Bridge on New Year's eve 2005) . It was absolutely spellbinding and everyone's spirits were soaring high in Love. It conveyed a very important message...LOVE is the key. Love can cure anything...Love is all we need...Love is all around...Love is in you...learn to Love when all else fails...Love no matter what...don't forget Love...don't discard Love...find that Love...share that Love...spread the Love! Build a
bridge of Love between you and your fellowmen to reach out to them...use that bridge to get to their hearts...yes bridge that gap you have been having for so a bridge of Love in this brand New Year.

My New Year's resolutions remain long as I have Love in me, I'm confident that the rest will take the righteous path...that no one will be able to put me down...that nothing will upset me to the extent that it will kill my spirit...that every not-so-good thing that will happen will be conquered by that Love in me...that I will survive the wuthering heights...that I will be just fine no matter what, cos I know what Love is. How was your holiday season spent and what about your New Year's resolutions folks? Boy am I not glad to be with all of you again - HUGGGGGGGZ!