Thursday, May 7

Iranam Pavasa...

Do you know what the title means? It's in Sinhalese and it means 'Destiny's Thirst'. Have you ever loved someone so much that parting with them took away a huge chunk of you with it? I have. That's why I feel I'm qualified to write this post, with the huge hole in my heart that gives me the strength to pen down my feelings exactly the way they are. My writing here are the ashes that are left from the fire that burnt my heart and left it with forever-scars. The ink that I write with are the feelings that I feel. I wasn't sure if I should write this post today but it dawned upon me that I should write it when my feelings are raw. So here I am. We have loved-ones that we'd like to live with forever but even a Love that strong cannot win with Destiny. Cos if I could redesign my Destiny, I'd have the people I want in my life right now. But some things are just not meant to be. And life has to go on...at the hands of Destiny.


You went towards your Destiny...you were called by it...you had to go...you just had to quench Destiny's Thirst didnt you? No, you didn't want to leave me...no, you never thought you would. But can we stop getting thirsty? Can we stop getting hungry? Even we can't. We had our plans and while we were busy making plans, Fate had it's own plans for us. And you went towards it when all I could do was stand here, watching you go. You just had to quench the thirst of Destiny, but you left me parched and starving for you til the end of time. But what am I in the face of Destiny? What is my thirst compared to the thirst of Destiny? I cannot make you stay, I don't have the power to change your Destiny, I don't have a magic wand to grant me all my wishes...so I watched you go...so I cried as I stood helpless, letting you fulfill your Destiny...letting your Destiny change my life, and making me go towards my own Destiny.


This post is dedicated to my darling friend Nehya who lost her dearest dad 2 days ago. I love you hunny and please know that I'm thinking of you and I know exactly how you feel right now. Fathers when they leave, we are left with a thirst that will never be quenched. I have never met your dad in person but I can quite confidently say I have 'met' him...how? Through you. You're a beautiful person, in and out, and there's no doubt that your parents are equally lovely people. They have raised you so well and I can tell that your dad brought me to you, hence himself through you. I love what I saw in you, and I say THANKS to your dad for the preciousness he engraved in you. He's a gentleman and a truly genuine soul, I respect him alot. I know nothing I say right now can comfort the huge loss you're dealing with. So all I want you to know is that I'm here for you. It's a long road ahead Ne...but you will come to terms with it and you will learn to live with it one day. Just know that ok.
*HUGZ*


This song is one of my fav Sinhalese songs, from an old movie called 'Ganga Addara' (it means, by the river) that I watched with my dearest dad long time ago. I was only a little girl then. I remember holding my dad's hand, walking with him, asking him silly questions, watching his wide smile, hearing his deep but gentle voice...getting a lil scared when he scolded me. I remember his face...I remember his love. I remember the day he went towards his Destiny..how his Destiny's thirst cost me my best mate ever...also, how it all gained me a strength and courage like never before. This song takes me to a distant past...a faraway place...to a beautiful time...to a memorable face.

oba ruva chaaya...sanga we paaya...
(images of you, come to the surface, and then hide away...)


Current Music: Ganga Addara by Vijaya Kumaratunga

82 Cranium Signets:

Hemanth Potluri said...

fingers crossed for me being first :)..

urs..hemu..

Hemanth Potluri said...

Destiny's Thirst....

i love the title it reminds me wat i lost in the flight towards destiny...

**I cannot make you stay, I don't have the power to change your Destiny, I don't have a magic wand to grant me all my wishes...so I watched you go...so I cried as I stood helpless

yeh i know wat u meant over this ...sometimes i feel the same when i look at the things i lost which are loved by me so much :)..


**This post is dedicated to my darling friend Nehya who lost her dearest dad 2 days ago

Ne love u buddy ....we all are by ur side and we never let go ur hand...:)..



sweets i love the whole para u wrote abt ne's dad...that really so awesomely sweet...love ya for that wonderful words u gave her HUGZ...


**I was only a little girl then. I remember holding my dad's hand, walking with him, asking him silly questions, watching his wide smile, hearing his deep but gentle voice...getting a lil scared when he scolded me. I remember his face...I remember his love.


u broke the silence of love with such beautiful words....i am soo happy and sad ...but u made such beautiful post for her dad and ur dad....HUGZ ...sweets...now pls dont make me cry more...:(......love ya both :)...

urs..hemu...

P.S: i loved the music of the song...its refreshing :)....

Hemanth Potluri said...

sweets i just wanted to say one more time....i just loved the way u described everything...loads of love...

urs..hemu..

NetBizSavvy said...

..."Stand up for what you believe in-even if it means standing alone."

~DREAM BIG~

Coco said...

so sorry to hear about your friend's dad passing...it brings back so many memories and feelings! tell your friend that this period of "pain" will pass, it will take time, but it will pass.

my my my...the coffee guy! does he speak spanish? tell him you want "algo dulce" (something sweet)- that will make him blush;)

so are you still going to the UK for the wedding?

miss you!!

hugs & blessings

Devika said...

Good post, Keshi

I believe in destiny and therefore its remains in me are not scars...but something I cherish :)

My father, my friends lost and all those people I shared time with...are all still part of me..and I love them as ever I had when I look back...perhaps missing them I love them all the more :)

My love and prayers for Ne,

love,
devika

Tabitha said...

Lovely Blog....Parting n Good Bye's can just rip ones heart at times...U ve used strong words to describe ur feelings..Take Care

Vinz aka Vinu said...

My concern for your friend..
You better take care of her..

No words for this post and the content..I can exactly feel wtever you said..

Tk care

Veni said...

Sweet.....got me to appreciate my dad even more....am sorry for your friend...

Ria said...

I dunno wht was it...tht made me cry...this post, i knw is not related to me in anyway. But it has something in it which tells me tht we cant stop anything from happening....how much ever we try we cant stop certains events which happen in our lives and burn a hole in our hearts. I knw hw it felt when i lost my grand pa....i regret not having learnt from him, his wisdom which he took along when he left this world and us!

I remember my mom, searching for grand pa, not being able to come in terms with his death! I feel baffled with the whole idea of death.....and this also makes me wonder wht if humans were immortal!? It wud be so amazing to hav our loved ones by our side always....i cant understand wht a person must be going thru when they lose a loved one....a few months back one of my friends lost her ex-bf, he fell from the 8th floor of his bldg....nobody knws wht lead him to tht, the mystery of his death went along with him.

It took months for my friend to get over it....but can we really get over it? Will we not miss tht person forever! i still miss my grand pa and often wonder hw wud he feel if he was here today.
I shudder to even think of life without my parents, at times i plead to god, if there is any way i can stop the inevitable from happenning....i wish i cud!

Arv said...

Some people are like a rush of flood... they flow through your lands, nourish you and make you lively... and when they leave they do take a part of us with them...

but they also leave us behind much richer for the next flow of flood :)

Love ya Ne... Shalom...

take care da... Enjoy ur evening...

cheers...

♥ÐÅyÐяєÅмє®♥ said...

I just pray fate doesn't play such a cruel game with me ever....

it was a heartfelt post..I hope nehya gets comfort from it....

seeing her hurt is too much to bear... and I kno how u must had felt wen u wrote about the loss...I kno how hard it was for u then and how hard it is now...

AmitL said...

This was really touching,Keshi!Keep in touch with your friend-I'm sure she needs all the support she can get at this hour.No amount of consolation of the 'it's all destiny',or 'whatever has to happen,will',etc can console a person at such times.Only time heals,that too,partially!Since we've both experienced this phase,I guess we can understand what the mind goes through!Sigh!TC.

oo7 said...

nicely expressed...
i know what a person goes through during this phase.She needs us and A lot of hugs.

We are here for u Ne.
tc and cry a ton

Utopia said...

sometimes i guess destiny, fate or whatever it is takes its course and we loose out.

NE~ISM said...

Keshi, Thanks! I did understand you and this post clearly.

I know it is going to get better and I am going to be able to walk again with my head high in the clouds. Right now all I can think of is when?

I am going to get this together with help from everyone I am sure. And stop wallowing around in my sadness.. but right now it seems that that sadness keeps him a little bit closer or is it just my selfishness? I dunno.. but I do know it is friends like you all that keep this state I am in reading to leave and smile all over again..

Thanks for the kind, encouraging words... Love ya!

Nehya

NE~ISM said...

BTW, You made me cry reading about my dad and how you can see him in me.. and me in him.. Gosh I loved that part. I always want that part to live in me.

He was a great man and he showed me and taught me so much about life, how to love and how to never give up on anything.. and I just feel like he was taken so quick.. I want him back but I have to learn with everyday that passes by he is in a better place..

I can tell your daddy was a great influence in your life also! We walk around with some great wisdom floating around inside us!!

Nehya

Asha said...

My condolences to your friend, it's tough to lose loved ones.

See you in June sweets. I posted my last at FH and preparing to fly. I haven't told any bloggers where I am going, just you!

Take care and be good! :)

яノςんム said...

I really pray to god to give her strength..
her loss is irreplacable..
and so is urs..

i dunno what to say, but a thought of losing someone gives u shudders..
my dad last month when met with an accident, i was so scared and broken even though his injuries by god's grace were not too major..

yes we cant fight destiny, but really, i wish her all the happiness in the world as her dad would have wished for her..

Mohita said...

Beautiful!

I felt so relieved after reading it.

Wonderful expressions.
I have fallen in love with your blog.Its of the Best on the blogosphere.

Your write ups reflect the beauty and honesty of your conscience.You are of the few people,whom I might look upto,sometime in the future.

KK said...

My hearty condolences for Nehya... May her dad's soul rest in peace...

Liked the song Keshi..

Mayz said...

m blank...starin at d screen...not able to see clearly coz of d tears in my eyes...

i wanna thnku for this post keshi...u r a really nice human being...

hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!

KK said...

Not sure if my comment got saved...

My hearty condolences to Nehya... May her dad's soul rest in peace...

Liked the song Keshi...

d gypsy! said...

I have heard quite much about Nehya...

may the almighty give her the strength

its always difficult loosing people u love...

Adisha said...

I wonder why people we love leave us... the reason comes forth with time, but some questions have no answers !

Such a beautiful post !! I'm sure your friend would be truly touched by your effort.

My condolences to her. I hope peace falls upon her and your heart.

Cheers love,
adisha

pisku said...

I don't know what to say so I won't try.
Wishing peace to both of you.

Priya Joyce said...

I am out of words....my wisdom fails sometimes before your posts...
I really feel very bad for nehya....
I really can't question or blame anyone for it....

destiny....I basically believe in it..or i can say I believed ..in

I used to say things llike this has happened coz it had to...not because of nything else....but my spiritual inclination makes me to believe in god's grace...who can change things..its more of his will that can change...and not destiny

I am not contradicting.just putting up my opinion :)

tc

Prashanti :) said...

Almost brought me to tears kesh !!!
I really hope nehya finds strength and goes on with life and makes her dad proud!!!

Shachi said...

Heart-wrenching...I am at a loss for words.

Tons of hugs to Nehya, and YOU!

I'm there whenever you need me.

Keshi said...

Ne HUGS! Im glad u liked it but most of all, I wish u sunnier days and calmer times in future. I wish for u quiet bliss and peaceful solitude...but above all, I wish for u LOVE.

TC!

And tnxx ALL for ur comforting words and prayers for Ne. Keep praying.


Keshi.

Suresh Kumar said...

Your Dad is still there with you. I am able to get some glimpses of him through your writings now and then. Destiny has not been that successful in taking away his soul from you..

Well...Your friend Nehya would also know this one... This post will definitely reach out to her like it has reached me.

You Know... whenever my mom is sad or hurt, she consoles herself remembering my granny and telling to herself, "Mom used to tell me...." and thus takes some strength.

ishipishi said...

this is what I've always loved about u kesh...the way u reach out to people...it's a heartfelt touching post which may have been written with neyha in mind but which speaks a truth that many of us will derive comfort from...

Kunjal said...

I pray God give strength to your friend in these moments of grief!!
yes goodbyes are never planned they just happen:)

sittingnut said...

ignore the troll called padashow . he attacks me and those he thinks of as my friends, bc i have exposed his family's corruption.

i am sorry that you among others you are at his receiving end. ignore and moderate him.
if you want, don't publish this comment as well

N B said...

Hey, nice blog. Came here after seeing a comment by Sitting nuts :-) You are on my Google reader from now on. keep going keshi (I hope I got it right) :-)

Rakesh Vanamali said...

Life is very mysterious and destiny even more! Nonetheless, I am a very staunch believer in destiny........ however, every little thing that we do contributes towards building that destiny!

My heartfelt condolences to Neyha! I shall continue to pray for her!

Keshi said...

Hemz is always first :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Hemz Im glad u learnt something from this post.

ty for ur very kind words!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Hemz tnxx again!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

I agree Net, ty n WC!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Coco lovely to see u here after a long time :)

**algo dulce

ooh lala wuts that? :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Devika!

**I believe in destiny and therefore its remains in me are not scars...but something I cherish

yes but I cant CHERISH all of em..cos the moment my dad died certainly left a SCAR in me!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Tabitha!

yes...it took a big chunk of my heart with it.

Im glad u u'stand my feelings.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Vinu!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Veni!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Im sorry for all the lossed u've been thru so far Ria. HUGS! I know how u and ur mum feels too.


**a few months back one of my friends lost her ex-bf, he fell from the 8th floor of his bldg....

Thats so sad!

When ppl leave, they take a huge piece of us with them. No doubt!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Arv HUGS! I know u think abt ur dad alot too..tho u dun write abt him as much as I do.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Bro!

I just want Ne to realise that there's a survivor here...someone who lost her dad when she was quite young...but she's still alive :) And thats me.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Amit!

**a few months back one of my friends lost her ex-bf, he fell from the 8th floor of his bldg....

spot on! Time doesnt take away ALL the pain..but atleast in time, u learn to live with the pain.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty oo7!

Im sure she knows that we r here for her.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Yes Utopia...sometimes we lose, but at other times Destiny is kind to us.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Ne HUGGGGGGGGGGZ! Im really glad ur speaking abt it in the open and right now itself. It just goes to show that u hv already started DEALING with it and that ur a very STRONG person.

It took me years to be this open abt my dad's death. I was quite lost for quite some time.

u TC now. And know that we r here for ya.


Love ya!

Keshi.

Devika said...

I understand Keshi,
I too have felt a moment of shock..but then my idea of death immediatly brought me in terms with it..

I think of death as a way of salvation from the trials of life,

really ...and it never bothers me they way I see people crying over it,

and then except for the moment of leaving, everything remains the same...i simply think all are here somewhere in this world....and sometimes I feel their presence, too

devika

Keshi said...

hey Ne twas all genuine...whatever I felt abt ur dad.


**He was a great man and he showed me and taught me so much about life, how to love and how to never give up on anything

no doubt there! I cud tell all of that...just by knowing u.

u know, u hv a very special way abt ya. u never give up on ur friends..u place trust on someone and u get that trust back in return, cos u truly care abt ur mates. u hv that kinda quality abt ya, which is rare. Im sure it came from ur dad.

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Asha ALL THE BEST hun and come bak soon luv MWAH!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Richa!

I can honestly say that writing abt my dad's death in my blog, and all the support I received from all of u hv really eased the pain.

TC of ur dad!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Mohita thats such a sweet thing to say. ty so very much! :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty KK!

Im glad u like the song too :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Mayz d u want a HUG from me? :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

I got it KK tnxx!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Gypsy ty sweetie! And I know the pain u hv been thru too. HUGS!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Adisha!

They leave, cos their Destiny calls them...

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Pisku!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Joyce!


**but my spiritual inclination makes me to believe in god's grace...who can change things..its more of his will that can change...and not destiny

I believe that God's will is our Destiny. :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww HUGS Prashanti n ty!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Shachi!

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Suresh ty so much! That means alot to me ya know.


** "Mom used to tell me...."

awww...it just goes to show how ppl still remain a part of us, even after they r gone.

My hugs to ur Ma!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Ishi, same goes to ya HUGS! :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Kunjal!

Yes...unexpected goodbyes r harder to deal with.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

SN hey hows u? After a long time :)

That guy has some serious issues!

No its not ur fault. This has gotta stop tho...thats why I finally broke the silence on this.

tnxx alot for coming here!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

NB tnxx!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

yes Rakesh ur right...ty so much!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

I agree Devika...I too see Death that way...as a release from this cage called Life.

but, that doesnt mean we dun MISS the ppl who hv died.

Keshi.

Devika said...

true Keshi...then you know what my weird mind says.."what is there to worry about, you miss so many who are still alive but far from you"

I don't know if its right or wrong..good or bad...I hate being sad....from my writing people might get a different reading...But when I write it comes out that way...

I don't like being sad...and I get mad if I see someone sad!

i want to see happy faces around...that means only little compromises....But sometimes people don't realise...Oh I am into a different topic :)

devika

Jeevan said...

The only option we left was to live with destiny. Nothing can console lose of dear ones… but we have to more on like a river fall at varies places and again began to move on. My condolence to her and more than anyone u can feel her well i know keshi. hugs

WarmSunshine said...

Keshi....

*hugs*... I have no words to say.

As for Nene, I haven't spent much time with her, just seen her off and on. But one thing that always touched me was her spirit. Happy and bright... like a warm sunny day. I was taken by it instantly when i first got to chat with her. I hope Allah helps her through. I pray that she becomes strong enough to face it... I pray Allah gifts her with more of that lovable spirit!

Love.

Kartz said...

Ya, I did hear of Ms. Nehya's tragic loss. Thoughts and prayers to her family.

You writing reminded me of Wordsworthian lines - "breaking the silence of the seas, among the farthest Hebredes."

'nuff said, buddy. I love the way you did justice to the title...

Peace. Be well.

♪♪HARINI♪♪ said...

well i had never thought about how it would feel like to lose someone till a few years back. my teacher had lost her husband and she had two very small daughters. i saw her devastated and then realised how it felt....

i dont know nehya but my prayers are with her..

rayshma said...

shall pray for nehya to find the strength she so needs! it's horribly difficult... but she will emerge a stronger person... and make her dad proud!

Vani said...

Its really touching keshi..I read this post a week before but didnt know wat to say..I was lost for words..

My sympathies nd love for Nehya..

Keshi said...

tnxx ALL!

Keshi.

Unseen Rajasthan said...

The Thoughts Are Really Outstanding !!! I Am Lucky To See Your Blog !!!