Tuesday, March 21

Unnamed Ships

Anthony: I love you Juliette. You know I do.
Juliette:
Let's just be this way then. I'm happy, 'cos I love you too.
Anthony:
I know our love is not shallow. I know it need not be defined by marriage.
Juliette:
Let's be with each other forever as long as we can. As long as we are alive.
Anthony hugs Juliette tight and starts to kiss her gently...

There was a serious decision made just then...some of you may have guessed it right. These 2 are lovers, yes deeply in love but for some reason they cannot marry each other. Maybe it's their families, circumstances or something else that's not allowing them to marry. However, both of them realise that they cannot part from each other...cos they truly love each other. And they are wise enough to realise that love doesn't always end in marriage and it doesnt have to. So they decide to stay that way and continue their relationship - I do not know how to name this kind of relationship, but I know it's beautiful, it's a divine union much more than just marriage, it's a love much more than what's in a courtship...

Some relationships are hard to define and difficult to name. Boyfriend, girlfriend, mother, son, husband, wife, father, daughter, sister, brother, friend, colleague, uncle, aunty, cousin are some relationships we already know of. But a relationship like the above cannot be named easily. It may even be considered unethical, not soically acceptable or even disgusting. Simply because it cannot be defined by a word in the social dictionary. Hence the amount of love and sacrifice involved in such a relationship is overlooked by many of us. Someone puts up a board saying that Marriage is the only way, so everyone goes by that board. The moment someone takes a different path, it's considered WRONG. Immoral it may look like, but can you love someone so deeply? Will you sacrifice your family, your culture, your future, just to be with the one you love even amidst society's mockery? Alot of people think that giving up their love for something else is the biggest sacrifice...but I think it's the other way around. It takes a true and brave heart to disregard the traditonal practices of society to be with the one he/she loves amidst society's scorn.

There are few divine relationships in this world that many won't understand and not every relationship can be defined by a word or two. And it really need not be defined to be accepted by the society. What is needed is the passion and all else will fall in place. The conventional way is not always the way. A ship doesn't need a name as long as it sails beautifully. Have you seen such other ships?

130 Cranium Signets:

Outdoorsy Girl said...

Very insightful and true, Keshi. Sometimes the most powerful bonds of love don't result in marriage, but you cannot deny the depth or connection of that love.

I enjoyed this post, mate. (You have me saying "mate" now! haha) :)

Tanvi said...

could i be first? lol i dun think so...buh forget the ships im sick of all that crap

i juz dropped by to say that i restarted my blog:p lol

the_ego_has_landed said...

me in a hurry...just realised we;re both online NOW! :p so if u have yahoo u could add me:) tc!
will come later n read this..ta!

Dawn....सेहर said...

Very truly said Keshi...I totally agree with you...!
I hv seen both sides..where they sacrifice and then still live a unhappy life making the third person also unhappy!
And another where they go against and lead a hppy life n bring out a healthy family too!!!

I think we are small ppl and one shd lead to fulfill our own dreams rather wasting in sacrificing...:)
Good post...I liked the way you drafted the whole pic

cheers gal

luvwannabefree25 said...

Oh my gosh.. I'm that guy. I met and fell in love with a girl from India several years ago. We spent all of our time together.. we dated for about 4 years.. all the while battling with her parents because they wouldn't allow her to marry an American... it was awful... when she went off to medical school I'd go see her on the weekends in Chicago.. it was wonderful but that underlying problem kept rearing up... her dad made it miserable for us and her mom wouldn't have it.. we finally split up because it was just too hard to keep up the battle... we were both so much in love... here's the kicker.. she dated a another American while in med. school... who incidentally was also in med. school with her... oh.. the parents didn't have a problem with it... (really pisses me off)... anyway... he asked her to marry him... meanwhile I was coming out of a different relationship with someone else... one day she called me and asked if I would meet her at our special place... the one where we spent endless hours chatting about life... how many children we wanted... the future.. .all of it.. I agreed... when I arrived we hugged and walked around the park for many hours... laughing, crying, and trying to figure out what to do... she finally told me that this guy had taken her on a trip out to California and had asked her to marry him... the reason she wanted to see me was to ask me what she should do... she really wanted me to say don't do it.. to spend her life with me... but I didn't... I loved her so much that I couldn't do it... we never would have had the blessing of the family and I told her that I wouldn't be able to live knowing that I did that to her... we cried... she pleaded with me... we cried some more... I told her I needed time to think about it... it wasn't until about 6 months later that I had a dream about her.. it woke me up.. at that moment I realized that she was the most important thing in my life... that I had to find her... I sent her an email to see how she was doing and to tell her that I had done a lot of thinking ... that I was in love with her.. and asked if she wanted to talk... she responded and said that the previous week she had gotten married in India to the American... I was devastated... she said that her love for me would always carry her through life... that even though she knew that her marriage pleased her family... that I would always be "the one"... with that she wished me well... told me she loved me ... and I never heard from her again... shes out there... and occasionally I'll be doing something that will remind me of her... and I'm comforted knowing that she is happy... that she has a wonderful life... and that she still carries memories of us in her heart... ;)

Ekta said...

Hey keshi,
Well its sooo true...I soo relate to it...have experienced one such nameles relationship where the peron continues to be a grt friend and sometimes these nameless relationships can give you some of the most cherished memories EVER!
Thats why we see so many live in relationships today where both people are comfortable!

Luv:- Hey dude, hats off to you for doing what you did-its not easy to let the person u love go away so easily!....I am an Indian and can completely udnerstand how difficukt the situation must have been with the parents not agreeing!Heres wishing that you find your right lady soon and feel all the love and joy that you deserve!

uttara said...

keshi ...

this is exactly wat i have gone thru .. damnnn :( its so bloody painfull .. damnn the society .. we dont live for ourselves we live for the society i guess ..concervative n narrow minded ppl.. its so sad

how u been sweety .. hugggzzzzz

muuuaaahhhh

PuNeEt said...

Will you sacrifice your family, your culture, your future, just to be with the one you love even amidst society's mockery?
YES

I give a damn...

U need not prove ur feelings or relationship to ne1...
so far its their in hearts...
its existing

Cheers

Tarun said...

I am a sailor...any ship out there contact urgently ;)

this kind of relationship doesn't look that simple in practicle life as it's defined here. Believe me, if someone wants to try go for it but you will realize later in the life what I said today.

Sacrificing or not, either way doesn't give guarntee for happy life.

Jewel Rays said...

:) Its beautiful when a connection is so deep and fulla love and to see it go wreck just because some people can't come into alignment with it.

Unnamed Ships. Been on two beautiful ones..And how it hurts when it has to part. :)

I believe when it comes to a relationship or love between two individual the society should be disregarded and the flame keep on its light. Easier said than done. The persecution could be so great sometimes. but once again its our life and how we wanna touch it up.

It hurts when u got to part with someone you love and build ya life with so much.

its basically an ouch.

smiley said...

if u really love someone more than anything else in this world why worry about the world. be together by all means

Shriedhar said...

as long as the 2some sweet pair is independent, as long as they kno hw to handle the consequences, n more imp as long as they luv each other..
the relation can happily last :)) .

Autumn Storm said...

Many an argument with my family over M's dad - turns out they were right, but the fact of the matter is, I did choose to go against their wishes and I'm still paying for that in small ways.
Such an interesting post, Kesh, I'm not even sure what kind of relationships you have in mind, though Jeff's example is likely what you have in mind. My first thoughts were for people who just don't get married, which is pretty standard here, where I am. "We've no need of a piece of paper to prove our love." My parents only got married last summer - 'common-law' marriage, I'm guessing, is something quite unique to certain parts of the world, all the same rights follow as would a 'paper-marriage'.
I'm babbling :-) Good post, Kesh

sittingnut said...

hey mate !

nice post.
you are right we (meaning society) name and categorize things arbitrarily and expect others to live according to them. i say don't give a damn for them. those labels etc are needed only by cowards who are unable to decide for themselves and they will get the life they deserve.

Will you sacrifice your family, your culture, your future, just to be with the one you love even amidst society's mockery?
yes, but in my case i don't give much value to my culture anyway and i create my own future and ppl who oppose me( if any) will not be my family any longer.

have a good day!

4u2nvau/Rohit said...

How about...

FRIENDS with BENEFITS

4u2nvau/Rohit said...

Ok now on a more serious note...

Its really tough letting go of someone you truly love. Hurts even thinking about it, and you don't always have to end it in marriage.

Radha and Krishna loved each other but they never ended up getting married did they? As long as you know you love him/her who really cares bout what the world thinks.

PRADEEP K. said...

KESHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII :)

WOW!!!!! Lovely post!

Looks like you just poured MY heart out here!

I think, Keshi, that we are laying too much importance on society, customs, and traditions!

It is WE who define society, and not the other way round. WE are the masters of our life.

To answer your question, Keshi, I think there should be no rules for love. How two people want to live has to be decided by them, and not by anyone else. If they do not want to marry, that is their wish.

If I truly loved a girl, I would not bear others telling us how to live. If irritated too much, I would simply tell society to go @$#! itself.

Of course, the girl would have to be equally bold, as well. LOL


Lovely post, Keshi!
(Bear Huggggggggggggggg)
(Smile)

Keshi said...

~~Outdoorsy_girl

WC to my world mate ;-)

**but you cannot deny the depth or connection of that love

yep, exactly my point. Thanks!





~~Tanvi

wow sexxxy new profile pic Tannzz! Im so glad u re-started ur blog...yeyyyyyyyy!





~~The_ego_has_landed

aww Ego I dun YM from work...:) even from home I hardly chat..but if u still want my ID I can email ya...let me know...





~~Dawn

**I think we are small ppl and one shd lead to fulfill our own dreams rather wasting in sacrificing

Spot on! I mean do what ur happy with...or else u will be ruining ur's and some other person's life for the sake of the society.





~~Luvwannabefree25

aww u have gone thru some very difficult r'ship Jeff. Thanks for sharing it with us here...makes us open our eyes...

U loved an Indian girl? Goshh it must have been so hard dealin with the very-different cultures and attitudes to ur's...well, I think u handled it very selflessly...but r u happy now or d u still wish u were with her? And what abt her - is she really happy now?





~~Ekta

**these nameless relationships can give you some of the most cherished memories EVER

they sure do...I have had such a r'ship...only he and I know what we had..but yeah in the end, he became yet another society's scapegoat...





~~Uttara

heyy Uttsy so busy ha :*(


**.. we dont live for ourselves we live for the society

so true...all of us do that no matter how hard we try to deny it...





~~Puneet

aww Pu bear I always knew that u wudnt give a damn abt the damn society :) hugggggz!


**U need not prove ur feelings or relationship to ne1

so true..but how many of us really go and do it? I mean how many of us would even settle to live-togther with a lover if we cant marry em?





~~Tarun

**I am a sailor...any ship out there contact urgently

lol me a ship :):)


**this kind of relationship doesn't look that simple in practicle life as it's defined here.

u r so right...not necessarily that it aint practical but it's not accepted...cos how many of us will really do it?


**Sacrificing or not, either way doesn't give guarntee for happy life

so very true...





~~Jewel_Rays

heyy Amy ur right...

**I believe when it comes to a relationship or love between two individual the society should be disregarded and the flame keep on its light. Easier said than done.

so true...it's easier said than done...cos how many of us will really do it?

it hurts to part for such reasons...yes..but we still choose to hurt than to be together...why?





~~Smiley

hey WC Smiley!


**if u really love someone more than anything else in this world why worry about the world. be together by all means

My point too...but it's not that easy to do...why?





~~Sridhar

heyy mate...

**as long as the 2some sweet pair is independent, as long as they kno hw to handle the consequences, n more imp as long as they luv each other..the relation can happily last

true...but it's not that whether it will last, it's more to do with if others r happy with it...isnt it usually the case?





~~Autumn_Storm

hey girl I missed ya..great to have ur thoughts abt this.


**turns out they were right, but the fact of the matter is, I did choose to go against their wishes and I'm still paying for that in small ways...

but look at the prize u have...ur lil angel...


**"We've no need of a piece of paper to prove our love."

I feel the same abt love...but not many from my family or culture feels that way as yet...





~~Sittingnut

hey mate hows u today?


**those labels etc are needed only by cowards who are unable to decide for themselves and they will get the life they deserve

so true! They need rules tohang on to...


**but in my case i don't give much value to my culture anyway and i create my own future and ppl who oppose me( if any) will not be my family any longer.

I admire ur individuality...truly encouraging!





~~NV

hey mate hows Mel? Rocking I bet :)


**FRIENDS with BENEFITS

u mean friends who claim to be friends in return of benefits? I know such ships too :) Good one! Bring on more...


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~NV

**As long as you know you love him/her who really cares bout what the world thinks.

Well-said!
Now wud u really leave home if u really loved a girl and ur parents opposed to it?





~~PRADEEP.K

Glad u like this post Pradeep :)


**WE are the masters of our life.

So true - thats what I mean too.


**If irritated too much, I would simply tell society to go @$#! itself

ROFL!


**Of course, the girl would have to be equally bold, as well.

true...very very true. Cos it's hard if only one person feels this way and the other is gutless...:)

Thanks!


Keshi.

4u2nvau/Rohit said...

Melbournes looking lovely as ever.

Don't forget to watch the closing ceremony, theres gonna be a whole heap of bollywood stars.

I went to see Talvin Singh on Saturday night, which was good. Too many hippies tho, stank up the whole place. Wana go see dhol foundation today but I can't :( working...

4u2nvau/Rohit said...

Well-said!
Now wud u really leave home if u really loved a girl and ur parents opposed to it?


See you can't really leave your parents just like that. Yeh the guy/girl might love each other alot, but what about the parents? Don't they love their children? Can the children be so selfish to forget the years and years of care and love the parents gave them?

If my parents opposed then I don't think I would ever marry. I don't believe in arranged marriages. Whats the use of being with someone you hardly even know? ad would that other person want to be with someone who already loves someone else?

I really don't know what I would do :( Just thinking bout it makes me sad :(

Nanyaar? said...

Wo, that hit a spot, Im sure to a lot of people.

And yes As long as we both love each other er.. I mean two people love each other with their all.. what more can u want Xtra??

Anand said...

Hey keshi,
U cldnt have said it in a better way!
For one, I have never strongly believed in the concept of marriage--which is that I dont beleive that one necessarily needs to be married just to validate a relationship--yes you marry if you believe its going to make your relationship better!
Most of us go through such nameless relationships at some point of time and ist upto us what we eventually take from them--no matter what the outcome is!

Die Muräne said...

and sometimes it's so special. Like when I read something in a blog and think so much the same...and then I feel deeply connected.
no name for it

tt said...

"but yeah in the end, he became yet another society's scapegoat..."

In the Idie language, Hindi, scrapegoat is "bakra".

Lol! You seem to have shaken up Puneet!

Sugababee said...

This is really interesting...
The entire marriage thing… well it obviously doesn't have to end that way. Love doesn't HAVE to have a label... so long as the ones in it know it and are content with it.
Now as per the doing anything for love...u say that giving your love up is not the biggest sacrifice as going against the grain of society would prove to be more so. Which is extremely agreeable however, people have different values in life such as parents and in order for them to be content; they seek their parent’s happiness as well. As wrong or right as that may be, it’s not about sacrificing for society’s sake but rather sacrificing for happiness in line with personal values. I think that many people would sacrifice hearing what others think in order to be with their love but it’s a totally different thing to dissatisfy those closest to you for your own happiness as it may even be seen as selfish (of course, in line with personal values). See it from different eyes…
:)

Shikha said...

There are some people who want all the love but in the end say 'my parents wont agree'..then there are others who say theres another person but in the end says how much that other person means to them and continue with the relation..nameless relnships but the sad fact is that love there is,and people get hurt..

Dewaker Basnet said...

20th person posting a comment..dunno when my idea of blogging the first comment will be a reality..;)
very well written post..u know there are several relationships which go beyond the realms of possible physical bondings yet are much beyond them..
have been in one such relationship which i feel have been blessed with, whatsoever be the end to it.
don't want to divulge in too much of details:) but thanks for making me realize how much the relationship means to me.
thanks keshi..
the first blogging dream yet seems to be a distant one;)

Pri said...

well, i wud choose to disagree wth u on this oe...may wud stand up against me on it...but still neverthless i put fwd my view wth a few questions to u??..
tell me keshi, if the love betwee thm was soo deep, so real, y does it seem shallow enough not ot face society or those blasted norms goin agaist it...why r they choosin the "cowardish" way out...why rnt they fightin against those darned forces wch stand in opposition...dosent this mean tht they hav plain given up all becos its soo convenient tht they dont really need to stand up against it,by kinda puttin up a "its the real love" front...
U know wht, here it mite be said tht the opposing forces r too powerful to stand up against n sometimes things cant be helped ...well i can only but say tht in such a situation, a couple who stayed away cos they know its never meant to be wud be far more respectable in myeyes...its not bout society but rather its bout respect, respect for the love they share n confidence tht no matter wht they'll always hav tht "love" wth thm n yet know tht no matter how far apart they are...their love is respected and happy...itsot always stayin close to ur love thts required to make u happy...sometimes lettin go juss for the same is not the"cowardish" way out...as long as both of thm know tht their love was , is n always will be..physical proximity dosent really count...
but thn again , thisis juss another view..my opinion...:)n everyone will hav their own...n i guess so will tht couple *smiles* as long as they feel rite bout it, nothin shud really matter...
love n peace to all :)

Het Waghela said...

What is there in the name, now this name can not only be of person but also of any relationship. Shakespear didn't told that he meant it for human beings name, he could have meant it for relationship also.

Its not at all necessary to give name to every relationship u come across, coz sometimes name spoils the relationship.

Also u should be strong enough to accept the relationship with the other person. Beat ur chest and say that u r close to that person, why to afraid of and whom to afraid of.

Jewel Rays said...

I guess it varies with individual situations keshi. maybe it not only has to be family but their own beliefs or probably even other things. :)

saby said...

though i am married to one
i sail in many ships

cant help loving many girls for many reasons

but i cant jettison my original ship to board another

Jeevan said...

Your writing is very beautiful Keshi.:)

“”Will you sacrifice your family, your culture, your future, just to be with the one you love even amidst society's mockery?”” If we are with our love guy/gal our mind will think, that he/she is enough for our future. But after somedays our mind will think, we have taken a wrong decision. It will be easy to tell that I don’t care about my family, culture, future and society, I like to live with by love guy/gal, but it will not work out in practical.

Boldnbeautiful said...

Simply superb script.

Society Damn it. but the two person envolved get a lots of happiness. Life seems content.

People kill all the dreams for social status.

Sometimes I feel, wish, I had all the guts.

josh said...

:-)

kannan udayarajan said...



It takes a true and brave heart to disregard the traditonal practices of society to be with the one he/she loves amidst society's scorn.


...well said ..
Again...
Your words remind me of BrokeBack mountain

Guess you 'll surely see it now..
:)

Mind Curry said...

absolut truth! :)

i am glad there is someone else thinking in the same way as i do. i have written and talked at length about these stupid rules and laws we make as a society and as individuals.

love in any form is pure, it is only with such boundaries that we make it impure.

Contented said...

Hey Mate! Nice post...a way of exploration isn't it...=)

I agree with the types of ships you are talking about...

****Alot of people think that giving up their love for something else is the biggest sacrifice...but I think it's the other way around

I am not good in giving opinions about love, but it all depends on how your equations of happiness are related to the sacrifices you are making...Well, Life is about being happy afterall...Having no regrets...=)

desperado said...

havent faced d situationn wouldnt wanna face it too ;)

but seriously can u fight wid ur family for ur love...dont know..n dont even wanna be in tht situaation where i have to choose

burf said...

it is all just an illusion

Ben Heller said...

"Alot of people think that giving up their love for something else is the biggest sacrifice...but I think it's the other way around. It takes a true and brave heart to disregard the traditonal practices of society to be with the one he/she loves amidst society's scorn."

Great quote Keshi, and I agree totally. Nice piece.

done said...

Hello Keshi:)
I myself choose the traditional way of marriage first before sex, and of course I wanted that for my daughter(15), but this idea wasn't for her, and I wanted to help her with her choice. I just want her to be safe with her decision, and know what to look for out there when it come to love and or lust. I took her to a place where they taught about STD's and how to put a condom on correctly. I bought her some books in what to expect from sex, and how to look for signs of STD's. I'm getting her on the pill, so she can feel positive that she won't get a unwanted pregnancy. I don't agree with her choice, but this really isn't my decision, because I really don't have any control, I can't control her feelings, even though it would be nice:) I as a mom, I want the best for my kids, and I tell them how I've done things, but in reality life is your choice, and you have to make your own choices to learn. I Love my hubby and we have great sex, and my traditional way worked for me, but my story is different than everyone elses, and we all have to finish our own chapters with our own thoughts, and with God's help we all can try to feel good with our choises. Take care, and thanks for your comment on my blog:) Elisa:)

PuNeEt said...

if i can stay with her i can as well marry her...

certain bondings help flourish a relationship...

Vivhyd said...

aha.. relevant topic :).. sad nah that life isnt always how we want it to be and to have society to get in way of what could be a very love filled marriage.. sad.. u r rite that love doesnt always have to end in marriage but.. r the 2 persons strong enough to knw that and still love and in future if one of them has to/gets married.. then what? only wish our hearts could think like our brain/head.. life wud be so much easier.. (boring thgh)..

niki yokota said...

my fren said his love for wife reduced to half, when the baby girl was born..lol
now hes crazy for his daughter and not interested in wife.
in such cases, love without marriage/kids is truely nice!(^o^)/

anup.777 said...

well.. the pic certainly grabbed attention .. LOL :)

anyway, the topic is quite serious ... and being the 'traditional' kinda guy ... I believe in the sanctity of marriage ... and although live-in relationships are common-place now-a-days and society has started to accept it as well ... I still refuse to change ...

Of course, every person has individual choices and difficulties ... and it is brave to take a stand that's contrary to prevailing norms ... but I say ... if u love someone ... be bold and go against the society that's trying to prevent ur marriage ... and get married ...

I expect brickbats for this ... but that's just me ... I say what's the truth ... for me ... it may not be the truth ... for u ... :)

saby said...

the girl of your dreamz or
bahu banne layak ladki?

The Phoenix said...

I guess this is more of an issue in certain cultures. The parents choosing the bride's husband is a dying tradition these days, but the practice is still quite alive.

I think parents might not be directly choosing, but they still exert influence...more of an indirect choosing.

It must be tough trying to reconcile tradition that very very old and what a person feels as an individual. Very tough indeed.

alice said...

oh my god...!!!
i m in the same position right now...beautiful post Keshi...

and i m strong believer that u dont need marriage to define love....

and u can have a soul mate and a husband.....they can be two diff people...


u might love ur husband a lot and have a best friend too...

Jo said...

Alot of people think that giving up their love for something else is the biggest sacrifice...but I think it's the other way around.

Agree with you totally.

ishita said...

hmmmmm...the thing about luv is it's constantly changing...growing...sumtimes...reducing?!...and to be in any form of relationship...(and i am speaking very!! practically keshi)...requires a lot of work!...even love!

and well...i do agree that it takes a lot of courage to disregdard set norms and follow your heart...not many can do it...

and sumtimes...luv isn't everything sadly! We just have to think of ppl around...have to consider others...have to...*sigh*...

kkalpz said...

Hi kesh...
Nice post and JD's comments were beautiful n touching.Its better to have "loved n lost" than to have "never loved at all"...wat say???

Sounds nice...abandan the rest of the world for your true love...but how many of us are able to do it and how many of us actually want to do it??
Believe me sweety...being "in love" is just a temporary phenomenon...when that love begins to fade n arguments n fights start creepin in you need a support system to keep you goin, and tht support system is your family. For me society can take a hike for all i care but family does matter.
But the thought of such "divine relationships" does make one feel warm...:)
hugssssssss

P.S...checked out your amu's n ur pu bear's blogs..lol...they rock.

tsduff said...

This is an issue close to my heart as I am in this very position right now. My Love doesn't want to be married at the moment - for what ever reasons. But we are committed to each other for the rest of our lives together on this earth. My friends, my family, and even my place of employment are Christians. Up until my Soulmate re-entered my life after 33 years, I held the same values, which are ~if you chose to live together, you should marry~. Since this is a decision made by both partners, it isn't entirely my own to make. So, now, I chose to live with my Partner, married or not. This may be the way we go through the rest of our lives together - it is okay with me. But I am having to face the disapproval, judgement, snide comments, uncomfortable conversations, questions and hints from family and friends. Does a piece of paper really matter? Aren't we married in the eyes of our creator, as we have pledged ourselves to be? Our respective children are grown, our responsibilities to their rearing are ended. Part of me is at a loss, when people look at my finger for the ring that isn't there, the one that signifies that we are "legal", proper, righteous... etc. Ultimately, I am of the mind that he and I are one. That is all that matters.

Sudeep said...

yyaaaayyyy keshi.. hows' u?

hmmm... its kinda difficult for live-in relationships in this orthodox society but scenes r changing for sure

but the ppl involved shld be really in deep luv otherwise....

Keshi said...

~~NV

Hey na I wont miss the Closing Ceremony...and yeah I heard that there's gonna be Bollywood sweeties...hehe cant miss it!


**Too many hippies tho, stank up the whole place.

lolllllll @hippies!


**Can the children be so selfish to forget the years and years of care and love the parents gave them?

ur right NV...but my point is if 2 ppl love each other, why cant the parents agree? cos it seems that they too r bloody bound by the society??

Dun be sad...I just wanted everyone to start thinking...:) hugggggz NV!





~~Nanyaar?

heyy mate!


**And yes As long as we both love each other er..

lol!


**I mean two people love each other with their all.. what more can u want Xtra??

it's easier said than done...cos we can say it here but when it comes to the reality, how many guys/gals will really stand by their lovers?





~~Anand

heyy Anand!


**which is that I dont beleive that one necessarily needs to be married just to validate a relationship--

thats true...so true. But the damn society expects the piece of paper...and most of us expect the secuirty that comes from marriage.


**yes you marry if you believe its going to make your relationship better!

actually in some marriages it makes it worse...cos ppl start taking each other for granted.


**ist upto us what we eventually take from them--no matter what the outcome is!

true...and what we give also matters...thanks!





~~Die Muräne

heyy matey hows u :)


**and sometimes it's so special. Like when I read something in a blog and think so much the same...and then I feel deeply connected. no name for it

awwww this had me dumb-struck! What a beautiful way to express our nameless ship :) huggggggggggz!





~~Twisted_Truth

heyy TT hows u?


**In the Idie language, Hindi, scrapegoat is "bakra".

is it? lol ok thanks :)


**Lol! You seem to have shaken up Puneet!

huh I didnt get that...why d u think so?





~~Sugababee

heyy Suga!


**Love doesn't HAVE to have a label...

nice one...


**it’s not about sacrificing for society’s sake but rather sacrificing for happiness in line with personal values.

Ur absolutely right Suga!


**but it’s a totally different thing to dissatisfy those closest to you for your own happiness as it may even be seen as selfish (of course, in line with personal values)

I agree...but Suga, it's not only the couple who's bound by the society here..it's the loved-ones too, cos if 2 ppl love each other, why do they have to disagree?





~~Shikha

heyy girl...


**nameless relnships but the sad fact is that love there is,and people get hurt..

so true...hurting others to stick by ur love is the biggest hurdle...but why do others get hurt?





~~Dewaker_Basnet


**20th person posting a comment..dunno when my idea of blogging the first comment will be a reality..;)

aww First or not, I value ur thoughts alot mate...I really do.


**u know there are several relationships which go beyond the realms of possible physical bondings yet are much beyond them..

yes...the divine kind...not all can u'stand such r'ships...ppl r so guarded by the society they mock such r'ships...


**have been in one such relationship which i feel have been blessed with, whatsoever be the end to it.

good for u...and I wish u all the best :)


**but thanks for making me realize how much the relationship means to me.

aww I did that? Im so glad then :)





~~Pri

heyy Pri I totally agree with u...but...


**if the love betwee thm was soo deep, so real, y does it seem shallow enough not ot face society or those blasted norms goin agaist it...

thats exactly what Im saying Pri..lol! Fight the society's stupid rules...u dun have to go by them :)


**why r they choosin the "cowardish" way out...why rnt they fightin against those darned forces wch stand in opposition...

how d u mean cowardish way out?


**dosent this mean tht they hav plain given up all becos its soo convenient tht they dont really need to stand up against it,by kinda puttin up a "its the real love" front...

NO AT ALL :) U tell me...if u love a guy and ur family dun agree...what wud u do? U'll fight for a while to win their consent and if they still dun agree, what wud u do? How much can u fight?


**its not bout society but rather its bout respect, respect for the love they share n confidence tht no matter wht they'll always hav tht "love" wth thm n yet know tht no matter how far apart they are...their love is respected and happy...

I agree...but what's the point in having that LOVE in ur heart, and suffering with someone else or even alone?


**as long as both of thm know tht their love was , is n always will be..physical proximity dosent really count...

it does...in Love it counts to be with each other...otherwise it's too painful and ur just puttin up a brave face just to go with the norms of the society. I find that ridiculous Pri.


** as long as they feel rite bout it, nothin shud really matter..

true...this is my opinion and that was ur's :) so yeah, it's very subjective...hehe, thanks for that very powerful comment Pri woohoo I love debates :)





~~Het_Waghela

heyy Het!


**Its not at all necessary to give name to every relationship u come across, coz sometimes name spoils the relationship.

thats so true! remain nameless if it must...keep is simple :)


**Also u should be strong enough to accept the relationship with the other person.

I agree..both have to be strong and not be bound by society too much...


**Beat ur chest and say that u r close to that person, why to afraid of and whom to afraid of.

Often fear of rejection from family, society etc is the reason to part...but as some said here, maybe it's also that they dun wanna hurt their loved-ones...but imagine the hurt they r causing themselves n the partner by doing just that...n why cant the families think like that too?






~~Jewel_Rays

heyy Amy!


**I guess it varies with individual situations keshi. maybe it not only has to be family but their own beliefs or probably even other things. :)

ur right girl...as I saw many diff points of view here, I so agree with u there..it's situation-dependant and very subjective...





~~Saby

**though i am married to one
i sail in many ships

like that's news..??


**cant help loving many girls for many reasons

yawwwwwwwwwn...lol!


**but i cant jettison my original ship to board another

lol whats that?





~~Jeevan

Heyy Jeevan...


**If we are with our love guy/gal our mind will think, that he/she is enough for our future. But after somedays our mind will think, we have taken a wrong decision.

why wud u think it's the wrong decision? That means u were not sure of her/him in the first place...:)


**It will be easy to tell that I don’t care about my family, culture, future and society, I like to live with by love guy/gal, but it will not work out in practical.

yes ur right...that's my point too...it's easier said than done...and from those who agree with me, I'm asking if they will really do as they say...





~~Boldnbeautiful

heyy BnB!


**Society Damn it. but the two person envolved get a lots of happiness. Life seems content.

yaahaa :)


**People kill all the dreams for social status.

thats so true! ppl r so afraid of the society that all they wanna do is show-off to the society...whats the point?


**Sometimes I feel, wish, I had all the guts.

Im glad ur brave enough to admit that we r all weak in many diff ways..thanks!





~~Josh

hey Josh WC and smilezzzz...:)





~~Kannan_Udayarajan

Kannan hows ya?


**Your words remind me of BrokeBack mountain

Gotta see this now! :) thanks!





~~Mind_Curry

heyy MindCurry hows ya?


**love in any form is pure, it is only with such boundaries that we make it impure.

ur so right! Boundaries is the WORD, ty! ppl tie all sorts of ropes ard their love, and what do we get...a stressed out, bruised and damaged Love...and now it needs to rest, so ppl give up.





~~Contented

hellooo :)


**I am not good in giving opinions about love, but it all depends on how your equations of happiness are related to the sacrifices you are making...

true...as Suga said too, this is so true...


**Well, Life is about being happy afterall...Having no regrets...=)

yup...no regrets thats right...but how many of us live day in n out with regrets...





~~Desperado

heyy mate I too hope u wont face a situation like that ever :)


**but seriously can u fight wid ur family for ur love...dont know..n dont even wanna be in tht situaation where i have to choose

life is all abt choices Desperado...we cant avoid them...after all, it's good to get such challenges, it will bring out the ultimate best in u :)





~~Burf

heyy Burfy :)


**it is all just an illusion

it is...and ppl r so bound by that illusion, it's shocking.





~~Ben_Heller

Thanks Ben and hows ya? :)





~~Elisa

Hello Elisa WC and thanks :)


**but this idea wasn't for her, and I wanted to help her with her choice.

It seems like that ur a very liberal woman...a great mum...


**but this really isn't my decision, because I really don't have any control, I can't control her feelings, even though it would be nice:)

Im so glad that a mother's comment is here in this post. Cos most ppl saw this in the lovers' point of view only. But parents need to realise that they too r being selfish when they try to control their kids' life...because we simply cant do that and shouldnt do that...cos Love is an emotion that someone else have no right to control.
Ur a very open-minded n well-informed parent...ur kids r fortunate.


**but in reality life is your choice, and you have to make your own choices to learn.

well-said...alot of Indian/Sri Lankan parents dun let their kids choose for themselves...they r brough up to listen too much to their parents :) and in the end when it comes to love n marriage, that too becomes mostly the parents' choice...not in all families but most families...


**we all have to finish our own chapters with our own thoughts, and with God's help we all can try to feel good with our choises.

exactly my point...we got to make our own choices w.o. worrying abt what the society thinks...God is there to guide us...

ty so much Elisa...I really appreciate ur words...I hope everyone reads ur comment..




~~Puneet


**if i can stay with her i can as well marry her...

true...but if for some reason u cant marry her, will u still stay with her?


**certain bondings help flourish a relationship...

u mean marriage? I so believe that marriage dont necessarily HELP flourish a r'ship..it only adds the 'social acceptance' element to
it and ofcourse the mental security to the r'ship that most of us seek...but then again it's my opinion :)





~~Vivhyd

heyy Viv!


**.. r the 2 persons strong enough to knw that and still love and in future if one of them has to/gets married.. then what?

then they r both not strong enough for this kind of r'ship..


**only wish our hearts could think like our brain/head.. life wud be so much easier.. (boring thgh)..

hehe I think what we must say is that 'if only our heads could think like the hearts do' :) Cos too much head-usage stains the emotions...





~~Niki_Bakshi

Bakshi babes hows u?


**my fren said his love for wife reduced to half, when the baby girl was born..lol

goshh lol!


**in such cases, love without marriage/kids is truely nice

I think u got agreat point here...cos marriage comes with a rope that ties the love too tight...it damages it. Kids...oh well, why cant u have kids w.o. being married? I know it's not the 'society's expectation but I dun think there's anything wrong with it...if u can love, bring children into this world and take good care of them, then why not...





~~Anup.777

eloooo Anup :)
u liked the pic ha? why did it catch ur attention, now tell me..lol!


**being the 'traditional' kinda guy ... I believe in the sanctity of marriage ...

:( wut if I say I love u and we should live together? lol!


**and although live-in relationships are common-place now-a-days and society has started to accept it as well ... I still refuse to change ...

u refuse to change Anup cos u n I r bound by our culture, tradition and social rules...


**be bold and go against the society that's trying to prevent ur marriage ... and get married ...

good one :)


**I expect brickbats for this ... but that's just me ... I say what's the truth ... for me ... it may not be the truth ... for u ... :)

very true...it's quite subjective...thanks dude! :) Hows ur studying going?





~~The_Phoenix

hey mate...


**I guess this is more of an issue in certain cultures.

More in Indian/Sri Lankan cultures yes...


**It must be tough trying to reconcile tradition that very very old and what a person feels as an individual. Very tough indeed.

good point...it's quite hard trying to match the old traditions with a new mentality...





~~Alice

heyy Alice so this is close to ur story...awww...


**and i m strong believer that u dont need marriage to define love....

good on ya Alice!


**and u can have a soul mate and a husband.....they can be two diff people...

so true!


**u might love ur husband a lot and have a best friend too...

thats right..but even that kind of r'ship will be hindered cos of the society's dumb perceptions...dun u think so?





~~Jo

hellooo Jo :) thanks!





~~Ishita

Ish hows ya?


**the thing about luv is it's constantly changing...growing...sumtimes...reducing?!

ur right...I know that too :)


**practically keshi)...requires a lot of work!...even love!

It sure does...I agree.


**i do agree that it takes a lot of courage to disregdard set norms and follow your heart...not many can do it...

ur right..many agree with me but I know that all of em wont really do it when it comes to reality...


**and sumtimes...luv isn't everything sadly! We just have to think of ppl around...have to consider others...have to...*sigh*...

Love isnt everything...so true...but ur life is everything and d u want to have such a huge regret in life? I dun mean to be selfish but parents no agreeing to ur love is also another side of ppl being bound to society's rules...why cant the parents too think outside that circle and try to u'stand their children's feelings?





~~Kkalpz

hi Kalpz...


**Its better to have "loved n lost" than to have "never loved at all"...wat say???

better to have tried and lost yes :) than to never have tried...hehe...


**but how many of us are able to do it and how many of us actually want to do it??

My q too...:) but I can do it...will u?


**Believe me sweety...being "in love" is just a temporary phenomenon...

not for me...:)


**when that love begins to fade n arguments n fights start creepin in you need a support system to keep you goin, and tht support system is your family.

true...but u cant be so paranoid abt everything in life that u choose to have the family instead of the partner...to have both wud be nice :)


**For me society can take a hike for all i care but family does matter.

it does....but so does the person u love...


**P.S...checked out your amu's n ur pu bear's blogs..lol...they rock.

Oh c'mon Im sure u have been there b4..wink wink :)





~~Tsduff

Terry my dear hows u?


**This is an issue close to my heart as I am in this very position right now.

Never knew that b4...aww...looks like this post is relevant to many ppl here...


**My Love doesn't want to be married at the moment - for what ever reasons. But we are committed to each other for the rest of our lives together on this earth.

I see nothing wrong with that...and I wish u both well!


**~if you chose to live together, you should marry~.

Same belief in my famiy n culture....but I think different...


**So, now, I chose to live with my Partner, married or not. This may be the way we go through the rest of our lives together - it is okay with me.

aww ur soo like Juliette I mentioned in this post...wow I found a real Juliette :) Hugggggggggz!


**But I am having to face the disapproval, judgement, snide comments, uncomfortable conversations, questions and hints from family and friends.

I know the drift...goshhh I always hear that kind of talk going ard in my family and friends (oh she's not married wonder why, ohh she lives with her BF ewwww, oh she has no ring etc etc etc). It's sooo boring lol!


**Does a piece of paper really matter? Aren't we married in the eyes of our creator, as we have pledged ourselves to be?

My Q too...what matters to most ppl is the so-called paper 'pledge'...I dun get it.


**Part of me is at a loss, when people look at my finger for the ring that isn't there, the one that signifies that we are "legal", proper, righteous... etc.

Righteous in the eyes of the Society..who cares abt them Terry?


**Ultimately, I am of the mind that he and I are one. That is all that matters.

Well-done...I'm proud of women like u...bold n brave and courageous to go ahead with ur love amidst so many fingers pointing towards u...in the end u won, didnt u?

God bless u Terry!





~~Sudeep

Im well Sudeep n u? :)


**hmmm... its kinda difficult for live-in relationships in this orthodox society but scenes r changing for sure

yes...even my family will kill me if I do that...but I guess we r so bound by our rules...and it's not gonna be easy to break em off and set ourselves free...


**but the ppl involved shld be really in deep luv otherwise....

true...thats what I mean...if u REALLY love someone, u wud do anything to be with that person...



Keshi.

Rex Venom said...

As always, you are totally correct. We creatures can’t really control how and who we love. Some of us try to make up for that and try to guide the way we let our love come into out lives. I have to tell ya, and this is from personal experience, when you just say screw it and let love take over, life gets a hell of a lot brighter. Cheesy, sure, but right.
Rock on!

Keshi said...

~~Rex

**I have to tell ya, and this is from personal experience, when you just say screw it and let love take over, life gets a hell of a lot brighter.

Spot on! Let go of the boundaries...set urself free...


Thanks mate!


Keshi.

luvwannabefree25 said...

Hey Keshi... yeah... it still hurts today... I was in Starbucks today and saw an indian lady there.. and for just a moment she reminded me of my Simi... and my heart just jumped... I still can't believe after several years how much I still truly love her... people say that it was a noble thing for me to let her... I say ..in retrospect... what a dumb ass thing to do... damn it!!!

lil _kath said...

sigh...
...love doesn't always end in marriage and it doesn't have to.
yeah that's true kesh ,and i think love exist in no time,and we can't stop it..even it's impossible to be with the person anymore,love not ends there...

feel the love...coz love is satisfaction in the love itself.
when you love someone that satisfies you as the end in itself.
you don't have to be with that person just to tell him how much you feels about him.
and "Love" is giving with no expectation in return.

ahh love ,love ,love damn!
hehe..jokin'^_~

love you,muaaah!

hugss,
-kathy-

Keshi said...

~~Luvwannabefree25

**I still can't believe after several years how much I still truly love her...

shows that true love never dies...


**people say that it was a noble thing for me to let her... I say ..in retrospect... what a dumb ass thing to do.

They r right, u did a noble thing cos how many of us can be selfless like u have been? On the contrary, u still could have married her cos she came back to u..but wud her family have accepted u?





~~Lil_Kath

hey Kath :)


**feel the love...coz love is satisfaction in the love itself.

So true...but in a love like this, wudnt it be nice to be with that person w.o. having to worry abt the society?


**ahh love ,love ,love damn!

lol I know! Love is overrated na :):)



Keshi.

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

hey ....

when i came here yest , i was #20 ... and now ....

but , couldnt comment yest b/c of lack of time ....

what abt the rlnship we share here ? are we friends ? acquaintances ? what then ????

marriage is a way to legitimize ur relationship ... but uless the people are involved are so content and trustful of each other , such a rlnship ( w/o marriage ) cnat work .. and what happens when the wanna have a kid ? agreed that it might not matter to them ... but it'll to the others .. right ?

i agree that such rlnships could exist and would infact not mind being in one such ... coz i can survive just on myself ..

kkalpz said...

I dont wanna lose you...but i dont wanna use you...just to have somebody by my side...n i dont wanna hate you...i dont wanna take you...but i dont wanna be the one to cry...it dont really matter...to anyone anymore..like a fool i keep loosing my place...n i keep seeing you up thru that door.

There's a danger in loving somebody too much...N its sad when you knw its your heart you cant trust...There's a reason why people dont stay who/where they are...Maybe sometimes love just aint enough.

Thts a beautiful song by patty smyth...one of my fav...now to answer your qs...No kesh..i cant do it...i cant ignore the years of love and hard-work of my parents and i will prolly let go...but i wont call it a 'sacrifice'...will just put it across as 'some things in life r just not meant to be'
If you can do it....HATS OFF to you lady.
YEAAA!!!! to have both will be like heaven on earth na....:)

P.S...i knw i been there before but what i meant was i took the links frm ur blogs...in fact been jumpin a lot of blogs frm here off lately..:D..thks for lettin me into ur wonderful blog world..:)

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

@ ur reply to ur last post ....

yes ... u r right ... religion can only be discussed when the people involved are confident abt religion .. and are tolerant enough to view their and others' religion dispassionately

Kumar Chetan said...

61st comment.
Not the last on something called love.
I think am going thru such a relation.
I want to marry her but she is already married.
Anyway.
Thanks for visiting Shameless_Self_Promashan ;-)™

sophie said...

hey wonderful post da...
really awesome...

Keshi said...

~~Deepa

hey Deeepz :)


**but uless the people are involved are so content and trustful of each other , such a rlnship ( w/o marriage ) cnat work ..


why cant we rephrase that sentence to this:

"If the family/society r content and trustful of each other, such r'ships CAN work"
:)


**and what happens when the wanna have a kid ? agreed that it might not matter to them ... but it'll to the others .. right?

what will happen to kids? why cant one have kids out of wedlock?


**coz i can survive just on myself ..

aww me too - I have a r'ship with myself...and unnamed ship that sails pretty well by itself :):)


**religion can only be discussed when the people involved are confident abt religion .. and are tolerant enough to view their and others' religion dispassionately

I love how u expressed it! Wonderful view...thanks Deepz!





~~Kkalpz


**i cant ignore the years of love and hard-work of my parents and i will prolly let go

How can u view loving someone as 'ignoring' ur parents' hard work? Can ur parents control how u feel abt a person or rather should they control?


**thks for lettin me into ur wonderful blog world.

oh c'mon u know the blog world way b4 me...I know u Kalpz ;-) but all's well that ends well :):)





~~Kumar_Chetan

hey WC Kumar and thanks :)


**I want to marry her but she is already married.

really? that must be really hard to deal with...


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Sophia

hey WC Sophia...and thanks :)


Keshi.

ishita said...

but Keshi...sumtimes wen in luvv we don't see things in a clear perspective (luv is blind is not just a saying...it's so very true!)...and parents don't just always think of 'society' or 'what ppl wld say'...they do luvv their children and they do luk out for their interests...

In fact, many a times, they see and visualise their child and his/her choice(s)...they know their child...and sumtimes what they see clearly is what we don't...can't...being in luv! we can turn around and label them as being too concerned abt society...of being a hindrance...but that's not the case always...

after all the years spent in raising us with luv and care...why would they not have our best interest at heart??

But yes i agree...the above would not hold true for all parents...and such parents i cannot even begin to understand...

and u know:) i can't help but look at it from a parent's point of view:-)...since i am one now:)

PuNeEt said...

u might be indicating towards something specific...

as far as I'm concerned I dun find a reason for not marrying her...
I'm a REBEL ;-)
lol

perception abt marriage differs

Cheers

ishita said...

but Keshi...sumtimes wen in luvv we don't see things in a clear perspective (luv is blind is not just a saying...it's so very true!)...and parents don't just always think of 'society' or 'what ppl wld say'...they do luvv their children and they do luk out for their interests...

In fact, many a times, they see and visualise their child and his/her choice(s)...they know their child...and what they see clearly is what we don't...can't...and being in luv, we can turn around and label them as being too concerned abt society...of being a hindrance...but that's not the case always...

after all the years spent in raising us with luv and care...why would they not have our best interest at heart??

But yes i agree...the above would not hold true for all parents...and such parents i cannot even begin to understand...

and u know:) i can't help but look at it from a parent's point of view:-)...since i am one now:)

Keshi said...

~~Ishita

hi my dear!

I do understand all of what u said...i do i do i do :) having said all of that, what I mean if a couple cant marry cos of their parents' not giving their consent despite their true love for each other, then there must be a valid reason for the parents to reject their love...what could be such a valid reason?





~~Puneet

Pu bear just entered my building, wow! :)


**as far as I'm concerned I dun find a reason for not marrying her...

gooooooood :) but what if ur/her parents dun let u marry her? wut wud u do?



Keshi.

Keshi said...

ok I think Im abt to be stoned by rotten eggs and tomatoes by all parents who might be reading this..lol I better run for cover :)


Keshi.

Het Waghela said...

Yes thats true Keshgurl.

We sometime spoil the things for making everyone in this world happy, each and every damn person should be happy and i should be the sole reason for the happiness of that person, everyone tries to be god rather then what they should be "HUMAN".

In such try we make no one happy including ourselves.

Now i thnk i am making things complex.

anup.777 said...

":( wut if I say I love u and we should live together? lol!"
say it, na ... then see ... :)

... yes, I'm studying ... whenever I'm not distracted by pretty gals like ya ... :)

Keshi said...

~~Het_Wghela

I sooooooooo applaud ya for what u said just then!


**everyone tries to be god rather then what they should be "HUMAN".

thats soooo true! W ecant make everyone happy cos we r human...by sacrificing our love we may feel good for a while, but what comes afterwards? Instead just be human and do what ur supposed to do...thank so much for completing what I wanted to say Het :)





~~Anup.777

**say it, na ... then see ... :)

heyy marriage-loving-guy I dun wanna pressure ya :)

Studying? ok thats great...but I should come ard to ur place just to see how well ur studying...hehehe...u know, check on ya ;-)


Keshi.

Vivhyd said...

Keshi.. its like the scenarios are changing now.. people are more open abt love marriage than be4.. althgh still the toughest of cases are ruled out..

Keshi said...

~~Viv

Happy Bday mate!
Sweet pics of the lil-u there...so so sweet!

yes the trend is changing but it wont change completely for a very long time...


Keshi.

sophie said...

i blogrolled u...

rebel_on_loose said...

Hmmm well now that's a very different subject.
I agree to the extent that wen u do like someone so much then wht others say shudn't matter at all. But then in that case the persons involved shud not go ahead and marry someone else since tht wud be grossly unfair to that 3rd person.The concept of a different soulmate and a different spouse is somewhat undigestable.
If one loves someone so much,he/she better be loyal to each other forever!
TC!!

Gangadhar said...

The situation may be such that you can't even label your relationship or give it a name. For example, you have a one-night affair with your boss. You are not really lovers or friends, but your relationship is no longer that of employer-employee. It's hard to define what you mean to each other and where the relationship is headed. In any relationship, your partner's intentions may be unclear or actions contradictory. He or she may come and go, appear and disappear, say one thing and do another. One minute you know you are loved and the next minute you are not sure. It's difficult to know where you stand. While in this limbo, the relationship remains suspended in time, without a guaranteed future or a present reality. No relationship comes with guarantees to begin with..

Dalicia said...

i know i'm a stubborn person. and i tend to go against my parents wishes. however, my parents don't have a problem with me marrying people of other race. our family, is pretty much an international family.

if for some reason they don't like the guy i'm with. i do hope they'll at least try to learn about him first.

will i sacrfice my family. well, i hope i don't have to be in the situation. likely the answer is YES. sorry, i don't like the idea of live in boyfriend. i expect commitment from him because i'm committing my time, my love and care...which is what marriage is to me.

snazzy said...

Hey Keshi, wanted to say hi. Hope you are doing well:-)

Take care
Snazz....

anup.777 said...

its okay, buddy ... say it na ... I'd love to hear it ... :) lolz ..

yippy!!! :) when r u coming over? ... to check me out? ;) ... i mean check on me ... :) lolz ...

Princess said...

Love is Divine.

You made me think of such social
obstacles once again, which makes some people's life a hell on earth by forcing them to marry a person whom they don't love. Really a revolution alone can bring a change in such a society.

Ekta said...

Hey Kkalps!
Thats one of my all time fav nos too!!!!!
Its such an old number...didnt know anyone else even knew abt it!!!
Its an amzing number with awesome lyrics!
Glad u like it too!

Nitika said...

u know wat keshu I wanna cry now missing so many wonderful post here....after crying I will go n kick the internet service provider If I can...hehehe...but seriously ma net is working so slowly n raising ma temper....
i will go into some missed post post which I’m eager to read..wish me luck sweetie I need luck...can’t trust on ma net..*sob*

tt said...

I was reading this post for a second time, and I finally got it.

Saby's ship is a Pirate ship. Not with an eyepatch though. More like a black thong bikini.

Het Waghela said...

You are always welcome.

Its nice to have a discussion with u on ur blog. :)

saby said...

DAMN!
u need a google search facility in yr comments section

i made an indecent proposal to TANVI
i cant find it now

saby said...

sophia
i blogrolled u too

i hope dat means i have the hottz 4u

Orikinla Osinachi. said...

First Keshi is also a Nigerian Igbo name. Are you a Nigerian Ibo?

Now on Endless Love and nuptial vows.

Marriage is the consummation of the communion of love between two lovers.

What makes it marriage is not the wedding ceremony or marriage certificate. But the mutual consent and agreement to love and live together for as long as you live.

The man said, 'Her bones have come from my bones. Her body has come from my body. She will be named "woman" because she was taken out of a man.' "That's why a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. The two of them will become one" (Genesis 2:7, 22,-25).
More

Personally, I believe in Free Love and I am trying my best to choose one of my best female companions to marry without breaking the heart of the others. And I have actually left town and taken refuge on the exotic Bonny Island in the Gulf of Guinea to make up my mind without the harassment of anyone of them.

Personally, I see marriage as a monopoly and selfish possession of one man or one woman.
It is very selfish to demand and make a man to vow to love you and you alone forever?
Who are you?

I want to be free to love as many women as I love. Linda, Becky, Uchenna, Jennifer, Yvonne, Yuliya and others. Because, I was born to love.

I would be bored of loving the same woman everyday by day. Phew.
She must be worth my life time for me to be totally attached to her alone. Who is she? An angel?

The world is full of beautiful women.

True love is the greatest sacrifice of all.

A marriage without love is like a desert without oasis. Or a body without the heart. Dead.

PuNeEt said...

how can any1 force me not to do anything or to do anything...

i'll stay separate if thats the only alternative
(bt touchwood thats not the scene ;-) lol... they are considerate enough :-)) )

musings (m000nie) said...

k00kieeeeeeeeeee... im bakkkk.... hows u sweety????

nice post... as alwaysss... n i think ur absolutely right... we cant give a name to such a relationship... n i dont think we should even waste our time thinking of names... just b satisfied about it being lovely and beautiful...

KL said...

What's in a marriage? Signing up a paper, or vowing in front of lots of people that they are going to be husband and wife for the rest of their lives??? Why do they need to do that? Why do they need to sign any paper or vow in front of people???

Love is all that should matter. Without love, any sort of marriage or relationship is null and void.

Yashita said...

keshi, I agree with you on the part that a relationship whch does not need a name to survive is more beautiful, honest and true...if two ppl can have a realtionship where they don't the security and constant assurance of the society, then it indeed is a strong relationship and such two ppl strnger than any1...

but I am a bit confused here, how can you break some1's trust, you parents faith in you and dessert them for ur love?? it hurts bothways...but wen u have to choose one path, it takes more courage to to leave d ppl who have given u birth and who have gone thru so much pain to bring u in this world...I personally dun care about d society and culture thing..but I think it tough to choose b/w home and heart!!both sacrifices are equally big!!

Trée said...

Hi Keshi. Excellent post. Some of my most valued relationships have no name, no classification--they just are. I have other relationships that do have names, titles and legal connections. I wouldn't say any of those are stronger because of the label or legal. These sorts of things always sit on top of the relationship, never apart of it. Hope my angel is doing well. :-)

Wanderer said...

hmm first of all seducive pic!
Nywyz
It isnt necessary that love mite end up with marriage thats so true
Some relationship doesnt need any meaning to be made up cuz they just do!
Somethings arent defined they are just made!

Somethings arent named yet the feelings are named!
The thing that matter's the most is the strong bond that exist's regardless of the nature of the love

confused said...

mmmm, I have to say I partially agree with Pri here.

If a man wants, a man can do. What is society, an amalgation of individuals? If you are living in a free society, and you claim you cannot exercise your choice of freedom, that does not mean you could not have done it, it simply means you were not read to pay the price for it. For e.g , if I dont like someone and I would like him dead, why wont I do it? Because I am not ready to pay the price for it -a jail term.

So couples who claim they cannot stay togther simply do not value their relationship enough.

I agree marriage is not a destination but only a milestone on the path of life. So, if a couple stays together without getting married, I have no problem. But I have a problem with people who ''claim'' they cannot stay together so fling themselves into one last gasp of passion before destiny takem them on their paths.

Maybe the same passion could have been more uself in trying to stay together.

I do not have a problem with physical relationsips, but their purpose must be clear. If it is a night of passion, so be it but do not justify it to yourself by calling it love...

It never was love....

Pri places too high a premium on not getting physical before everything is ''clear''.... I dont think that makes a lot of sense..

Gist of the comment...I disagree with everyone...

I am quite a disaggreable fellow...lol

kkalpz said...

u knw me as in????

Rohit Talwar said...

Good post!

I know 3 such couples and they're doing great. It's good to see them together!

Jackal said...

keshiiiiiiii.....missed u...nice post...i know a few ppl who have gone ahead and grabbed what 'they' wanted and i know they did the rt thing.....i aslo know a lot of ppl who let go there love due to all those things u mentioned.......some ppl just chicken out unfortunately i had a few of this kind in my life......in india so many relationships are sacrificed at the alter of religion......
..i read ur previous post too......i feel exactly as u do....if ppl cud look beyond religion......for me its never an issue.....in my big extended family there have been abt half a dozen inter religious marriages.....i feel proud of tht fact........
give me hug........byee tccc

:P fuzzbox said...

Your Juliette of the story made me think of another Juliette story. I rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Keshi said...

~~Sophia

hey thanks :)






~~Rebel_on_loose

Heyyya Rebbbz :)


**But then in that case the persons involved shud not go ahead and marry someone else since tht wud be grossly unfair to that 3rd person.

true...it's unfair for everyone!


**The concept of a different soulmate and a different spouse is somewhat undigestable.

Spot on! Why wud someone go settle with another knowing that he/she is not the soulmate...it's pretty slack.





~~Gangadhar

hows ya Gangzz?


**For example, you have a one-night affair with your boss. You are not really lovers or friends, but your relationship is no longer that of employer-employee.

so true...these dun have a definition...


** It's difficult to know where you stand.

In such r'ships we find it difficult to know where we stand only cos of the society. Cos the society has an identified set of r'ships and we always think in those terms only.


**No relationship comes with guarantees to begin with..

very true! Thanks mate :)





~~Elaine

heyya Elaine hows u?


**however, my parents don't have a problem with me marrying people of other race. our family, is pretty much an international family.

mine too :)


**if for some reason they don't like the guy i'm with. i do hope they'll at least try to learn about him first.

thats what I mean too. Not only the kids, but also the parents need to try n understand...


**sorry, i don't like the idea of live in boyfriend. i expect commitment from him because i'm committing my time, my love and care...which is what marriage is to me.

cool I agree :) but if he's committed to u w.o. a legal paper, wouldnt that keep u happy? Just a Q ok :)





~~Snazzy

snazzzooooooo muahhhhhhhhhh! I miss ya mate...where r u these days? All ok? Hows that girl? ;-)





~~Anup.777

heyy Anup!


**its okay, buddy ... say it na ... I'd love to hear it ... :) lolz ..

lollllllllz! :):)


**yippy!!! :) when r u coming over? ... to check me out? ;) ... i mean check on me ... :) lolz ...

lol chekc u out ha? well do I need to? I have already done that..lollz!





~~Aizwaikcha

heyy Aishhh :)


**Love is Divine.

Yep...Love between 2 ppl is a scared bond that should not be cluttered with man-made rules...


**You made me think of such social
obstacles once again, which makes some people's life a hell on earth by forcing them to marry a person whom they don't love.

I know alot of ppl like that..I do feel sorry for em...but then again, they could have done what they wanted too..


**Really a revolution alone can bring a change in such a society.

true...it wont change for a very long time to come..





~~Ekta

Hey Ekta I like that song too..old one but very nice one...





~~Nitika

Hey Niti dun cry...lol..just take ur time n read it bubbz :) huggggggggz!





~~Twisted_Truth

heyy TT :)


**Saby's ship is a Pirate ship. Not with an eyepatch though. More like a black thong bikini.

LOLLLLL hahahaha!





~~Het_Waghela

hey Het thanks :) I really look forward to all of ur views on my posts...it really makes me grow in many ways...hugggggz!





~~Saby

heyy Saby baby no indecent comments allowed here ok?? :)





~~Orikinla_Osinachi

WC Orikinla! Wow what a beautiful name...what does that mean?


**First Keshi is also a Nigerian Igbo name. Are you a Nigerian Ibo?

nope :) me no Nigerian hehehe...Im SriLankan/Indian...


**But the mutual consent and agreement to love and live together for as long as you live.

true...but do we need to prove that on a piece of paper?


**"That's why a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. The two of them will become one" (Genesis 2:7, 22,-25).
More

I read abt this somewhere...wow very interesting...


**And I have actually left town and taken refuge on the exotic Bonny Island in the Gulf of Guinea to make up my mind without the harassment of anyone of them.

so ur blogging from Gulf of Guinea? WOWWWWW!


**Personally, I see marriage as a monopoly and selfish possession of one man or one woman.

I agree...it's a very selfish institution...cos it's forcing 2 ppl to pledge their love just to keep the bond socially secure...


**I want to be free to love as many women as I love. Linda, Becky, Uchenna, Jennifer, Yvonne, Yuliya and others. Because, I was born to love.

lol okk good one :):)


**I would be bored of loving the same woman everyday by day. Phew.
She must be worth my life time for me to be totally attached to her alone. Who is she? An angel?

lolllllllllz! ur so funny hahahahaha!


**True love is the greatest sacrifice of all.

I guess so...but wouldnt it be just great when u find that love? btw Lust n Love r 2 different things...:)


**A marriage without love is like a desert without oasis. Or a body without the heart. Dead.

So true! Thanks so much for ur wonderful thoughts on this and Im so glad to have u here...:)





~~PuNeEt

Puuuu bear :)


**how can any1 force me not to do anything or to do anything...

admire ur confidence :)


**i'll stay separate if thats the only alternative
(bt touchwood thats not the scene ;-) lol... they are considerate enough :-)) )

lol aww thats great Pu bear! So when r u gonan invite me to the wedding? this will be my great chance to visit India :)





~~m000nie

m0000nie I SO SO SOOOOOOOO Missed ya! Where the hell were ya?? I was SO worried! U ok??
HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ n WB!


**just b satisfied about it being lovely and beautiful...

so true...thanks dear. Im so glad ur bakkk MUAHHHHHHHHH!





~~KL

WC KL!


**Why do they need to do that? Why do they need to sign any paper or vow in front of people???

I dun get that bit too but we all still do it. why wud u wanna prove ur love to the society?


**Love is all that should matter. Without love, any sort of marriage or relationship is null and void.

yep...and how many marriages out there lack love...alot I bet!





~~Yashita

heyy Yash!


**if two ppl can have a realtionship where they don't the security and constant assurance of the society, then it indeed is a strong relationship and such two ppl strnger than any1...

yep..agreed.


**but I am a bit confused here, how can you break some1's trust, you parents faith in you and dessert them for ur love??

u break ur parents' trust only when u r doing something wrong...is loving someone wrong?


**I personally dun care about d society and culture thing..but I think it tough to choose b/w home and heart!!both sacrifices are equally big!!

It's not choosing between home n heart...love is not a choice is it...?





~~Trée


hey mate Im well n u? :)


**I wouldn't say any of those are stronger because of the label or legal.

there u go!


**These sorts of things always sit on top of the relationship, never apart of it.

so true...the legal element is the bit abt marriage that disgusts me..

thanks and hope u'll have agreat day ahead :)





~~Wanderer

heyy Wandy! :)


**hmm first of all seducive pic!

lol hahaha! It is ha ;-)


**Somethings arent defined they are just made!

so true...


**Somethings arent named yet the feelings are named!

Spot on!


**The thing that matter's the most is the strong bond that exist's regardless of the nature of the love

awesome expression, thanks!





~~Confused

heyy Confused hows u? Dun say confused ok..hehehe...


**If a man wants, a man can do.

I soooo agree! If there's a will, there's a way...


**that does not mean you could not have done it, it simply means you were not read to pay the price for it.

Exactly my point!


**So couples who claim they cannot stay togther simply do not value their relationship enough.

amen!


**Maybe the same passion could have been more uself in trying to stay together.

thats so true...love is not just physical, it's mental and spiritual...


**Pri places too high a premium on not getting physical before everything is ''clear''.... I dont think that makes a lot of sense..

hehe...Pri any thoughts on that?


**Gist of the comment...I disagree with everyone...I am quite a disaggreable fellow...lol

lol I like ppl like u...ppl who r hard to please :):)

Thanks mate, loved ur wise words...





~~Kkalpz

heyy Kalpz!


**u knw me as in????

lol u know I know u..dun u know I know u? :)





~~Rohit_Talwar

heyy Rohit!


**I know 3 such couples and they're doing great. It's good to see them together!

wonderful!





~~Jackal

hey Jackal ur bakkkkk! WB! I missed ya too...awwww...


**I know a few ppl who have gone ahead and grabbed what 'they' wanted and i know they did the rt thing.....

yes thats it...do what u WANT to do...not what u NEED to...


**some ppl just chicken out unfortunately i had a few of this kind in my life......in india so many relationships are sacrificed at the alter of religion......

thats when ppl decide to go by the norms of society...such ppl really dunno what Love is.


**in my big extended family there have been abt half a dozen inter religious marriages.....i feel proud of tht fact........

thats great :) huggggggggz!





~~:P fuzzbox

heyy Fuzzy!


**Your Juliette of the story made me think of another Juliette story.

Romeo n Juliette? :)


**I rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

I did not get that line...what d u mean mate? :)


Keshi.

sajini said...

Seen it too many times. By the grace of God, all of them are going great. But I like both sides. It all comes down to commitment and sacrifical loving in my opinion!!.. But hey what do I know!!

Keshi said...

~~Sajini

ur right girl..it all comes down to what each and everyone of us value...thanks!


Keshi.

saby said...

if God wanted us to love just one
He wudnt have given us guys 2 testicles

Keshi said...

~~Saby

that sooo doesnt make sense here...

btw where is Janice?


Keshi.

kkalpz said...

Hiii....
i think u r confusin me with some1 sweety...no probs...can i have ur mail id plzzzzzzzz????...u inspired me to do something...something i sud have done long ago n i wanted to but never managed to...but you/your blog gave that extra push n i finally did it...want to share it with you...:)
Tc

Jay said...

Your question: Will you sacrifice your family, your culture, your future, just to be with the one you love even amidst society's mockery?

My answer: It depends. If our families and our cultures worth our loves, yes. If they just don’t worth our love or to be loved, why bother hurts our lives for them.

I am not encouraging people to abandon our families for our girlfriends or boyfriends. But if our family truly love and care for us, they would understand our choice and our happiness. But if they don’t, do you think it is worth to keep your loyalties, loves and cares for them? My answer is NO!

As for Keshi’s third question – Future. Well, what is the future when we lost the one that will makes us happy? What is future without love? If future promises us “money” and our love ones promise us “happiness”, I would go for happiness.

Remember, you can’t buy love and happiness with billion of dollars.

Like me, if I could trade my bright future with someone I love, I would.

I have the money.. but I cannot buy the love that I want. That regrets me the most until today!

Scott said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog. I appreciate it.

Great blog you have here. Insteresting post and blog.

I understand what you are saying about not all love ends in marriage. I have been there!

Scott

Sujit said...

To the question.. i haven;t seen such relation. But usually, it depends on the attitude and nature of the person involved in love. For some.. parents/relatives are more important the person who they love and they leave off things.. while other its their love which is more imporatnt than anything else.. for which they leave the other things off.!! However. . most of them love may not result in marriage.. love remains within the persons!! forever!!

saby said...

Heyyyy Jay

u gimme all your money
i give u all my love

PuNeEt said...

oooh thats gonna be awesome
keep ur travel bag ready in that case...
i can mail u ne day with invitation ;-)
lol

Cheers

sittingnut said...

good day mate!

was busy for the last few days so did not get to read comments here until now . quite extraordinary the comments you get :-)

Keshi said...

~~KKalpz

**something i sud have done long ago n i wanted to but never managed to...but you/your blog gave that extra push n i finally did it...

:) good for u.





~~Jay

That was a very enlightening comment, thanks! I think u think exactly like I do. If you love someone truly, u can do anything, even go past ur controlling parents perhaps...unless ofcourse there's a grave reason fot their opposition.


**I have the money.. but I cannot buy the love that I want.

thats so true! In the same way, no poing making ur folks satisfied if deep down u still long for ur love...





~~Scott

heyy thanks Scott :)





~~Sujit

** most of them love may not result in marriage.. love remains within the persons!! forever!!

hey thats very true..but when the love remains n if u cant be with that person, how painful is that...





~~Saby

:) Jay will kill ya...he's not so stupid...





~~Puneet

so it's coming up soon? wow!





~~Sittingnut

lol Sittingnut d u read ALL of these comments?



Keshi.

Abhialldeway said...

Where there is love there is always hurt. that is a fact of life. love is a feeling of trust n commitment. there are those who chicken out n there are those who fight the wind. Very inspiring post

Pri said...

keshi...this is juss not fair...!!! u r juss being nice to "confused"---- *scowl*
he is not only disagreeable but also confused as to wht he really thinks...heehee *rollin her eyes knowin thrll be more to hear frm whr this came frm*...
I say sumthin n im called a "prude" and he says sumthin n they r wise words :((
am real jealous rite now *throws a tantrum, lookin at keshi hopin she'll say some nice things bout her too*

the_ego_has_landed said...

"A ship doesn't need a name as long as it sails beautifully."

lovely:)
nice post...altho i dunno what to say...well..i really think lving for society is a waste..live for ur happiness and ur lover's...cause that s what matters in the end..the self-satisfaction...

n yeah...lets keep in touch:)

Maya Cassis said...

only through love can we conquer anything in this world

southpaw said...

I don't know whether i m qualified or experienced enough to quote anything on this subject....
As far as what u hv mentioned i for myself dont give a damn about what the society thinks about any relationship. My first ever relationship got screwed up coz a bunch of suckers thought that the gal's future was in jeopardy. My second relationship succeeded like a dream come true, so at times when i look back i m totally confused, like i m completely confused out here as well...

sittingnut said...

actually i do :-)
comments are almost half of what makes this blog so extraordinary.

Keshi said...

~~Abhialldeway

hey WC n thanks :) Ur right...where there is love there is hurt and where there is a will there is a way..thanks!




~~Pri

lol Pri sorry did I say something to hurt ya...Huggggggggz! na na I did not say that Confused is totally right...:):) Cheer up...u r right too..we all r right in our own ways :)

Pri is a swt hrt with a very strong mind and storng values...luv u for that girl!




~~Southpaw

u r a living example of courage and perseverance when it comes to LOVE..I just know it :)




~~Sittingnut

hey thanks :) and it's really u guys who make this blog worth a read...


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Maya_Casis


**only through love can we conquer anything in this world

Spot on! And yet ppl r too afraid to give love a chance...


Keshi.

KL said...

Dear Keshi, I have put up a post on Janice in my blog in order to locate her. Hope you don't mind. I am feeling very sad and lost on reading this post and all the comments here and in other places, and that is why done such a thing.

Vivek Panda said...

wow!! a really nice post! very enlightening indeed...

Keshi said...

~~KL

I replied to u in my latest post..thanks so much for great support and immense love!




~~Vivek_Panda

thanks!


Keshi.

outsiders said...

many see marriage only as a means to legitimise love, but I believe its a backup when things get tough..

the bond of marriage pushes people to try harder to hold on.. maybe its needed, maybe its a pessimistic outlook but then hey, its good to have safety nets in life...

susubala said...

Keshi….1st of all let me tell u one thing…this post has attracted me a lot….not b’cos of the photo, but due to the subject !

Man…I had spend really an hours time in reading at this post and the comments!

I find most of them agree with you on this virtual relationship….but then I would like to tell u one thing …THE LOVE IS ETERNAL AND IT IS ALWAYS THERE FOR THE ONE WHO DESERVES ! I had gone through the reply of LUV and he still loves his female when he saw an Indian girl somewhere recently! That’s the spirit of true love one has got for the other and needlessly marriage comes into picture!

When it comes to the sexual part….i totally disagree that…the unnamed relationship cannot stretch for longtime. Even though if u r not married to the one whom u love and when u feel he/she is comfortable with the other partner, then your sexual attitudes are supposed to be CUT in the relationship and the feel for he/she to live happily stands first. I FEEL, THE LOVE IS CERTAINLY UNDENIABLE AND THE DEPTH OF LOVE AND AFFECTION WILL LAST FOR EVER THAN THE LUST ! What I am trying to insist is, an unnamed relationship can be eternal when there is a true sense of love alone, when other things come into picture, then I don’t think it is an eternal love, but lust !

@Luv : U r so sweet in letting ur love go and marry somebody…but then it is too painful ! I could imagine ur feelings, but then my wishes for u to get one who could cover-up your thoughts for ur love !

@Tarun : What u said is exactly correct. It is not so easy to have a so close relationship as what most of them thinks when it comes practically. Man it is not so easy at all !

Eventhough those relationships do exist, it cannot last longer, as we can’t be truthful to both the past and the present. Its so tuff to handle the situation! But one thing is clear the love and care for them will be everlasting!

nishita said...

wonderful post....and great to see that so many agree with it but strangely it seems all the people who say they care a damn about society , culture and marriage are found on the blog only ....in real world hardly see them....people even have a love marriage considering oh so many practicalities of life....sadly

Keshi said...

~~Outsiders

**many see marriage only as a means to legitimise love, but I believe its a backup when things get tough..

Spot on! Thats what I think too. Marriage is just a support system. If it's so enriched by love then u just dun have to get married to be with each other...

Thanks!





~~Susubala


hey thanks girl...


**I FEEL, THE LOVE IS CERTAINLY UNDENIABLE AND THE DEPTH OF LOVE AND AFFECTION WILL LAST FOR EVER THAN THE LUST !

True...so true...

And I agree with what u said..it's really hard in real...btu I believe if there is Love, there is a way :)






~~Nishita

Hey Nishi WC! Nice profile pic...I love flowers....


**but strangely it seems all the people who say they care a damn about society , culture and marriage are found on the blog only ....

ur so so so right! ppl can just preach but they wont act...we r so good at writing stuff here but just how many of us will stick up for their partners in real if theur parents disagree? I wonder...


Thanks!

Keshi.