Tuesday, September 26

Runaway Spinster

There is this girl I know. She loves to love. I think she's in love with love. She wants to fall in love, she wants a sweet guy who can hold her tight, she wants the wedding dress, the cake, the car, the brides' maids, the wedding song, a wedding waltz, the whole darn thing. And she wants to have kids some day, be a loving mother, a sweet wife, become a private pole-dancer for her husband ;-), be a woman who can give anything that her man needs etc etc yawwwwwwn etc. Too rosy? Rleax cos it's over. Right now she's going out with friends and she does get asked out too. And sometimes when she goes out with a nice guy for coffee and then when he wants to take it to the next level...she freezes right there - FULL STOP! Heyy hold on, what did you want? To get cosy with me? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....she dies a sudden death then and there. And suddenly she's not even in his planet anymore.

Ladies and gentleman she's none other than Keshi. It's me guys hehe. Yes you're right, I think I have issues. I think I'm over
the top with my freedom that it makes me run away from potential partners. Actually even before running away, I have Fast-Forwarded the scene in my head and I have frozen the reel right there. So I know what to do. I read a similar excellent post on Amy's blog and that's when I realised that I'm not alone. Cos before her post I thought I must be a wierdo that no one wants to know. So thanks Amy for bringing that up cos it puts me in the 'Normal' category - hey Amy it may be just you and me, but 2's better than 1 right :) .Yeah so what is it that makes girls like me and Amy suddenly become marathon runners when guys they meet wanna take it to the next level? I think it's the liberties we have right now that don't wanna make us compromise. Is it a compromise? Well maybe it is I don't know. That may sound like we are a tad selfish or even afraid of r'ships, but it's really not like that (ofcourse there are times when some men scare the hell out of me that it makes me wanna spray Mortein on them). But think about it this way. I have many married friends who are suffering in silence. While few of them appear to be truly happy in their marriages, some others are basically putting up with it. Man, woman, married, kids, fights, boredom, clashes, divorce? No maybe just put up with it. Cos they just have to. Why? Either cos they have kids/shared assets and its too complicated/costly to separate than to stay together OR they are of Indian/Sri Lankan origin that glues them to a marriage for life even if the husband/wife is the Oklahoma bomber. Cos in these cultures divorce is unacceptable and something that's seen as terrible. So there goes your whole life. I don't mean to say that ALL the marriages are fake - I'm sure there are thousands of people who have found their soul-mates and are absolutely happy in their marriages and are now probably thinking Keshi is just all sour grapes. But there's also a whole lot who are disappointed and have no way out. It's happening right in front of me and that disturbs me. I mean what if I fall in love with the wrongest man on Earth and then it becomes too late to get out? I know its all in the risk but is it really worth taking that kind of risk? I know that love is blind and when the right one comes along I might not feel this way and not even run like Roadrunner (I might actually melt in my chair that he might actually run away). But but but...what about Shilpa that I met in the neighborhood who THOUGHT she found the perfect man 10yrs ago, got married to him, had 2 kids with him and now that VERY man is treating her like shit? That is a true story. She cries every single day and my mum and I comfort her most of the time. She's stuck in this horrible marriage cos she doesn't want her kids to suffer and being unemployed, she's helpless. What about the risk that she took in trusting her heart about that man? It went wrong and it very well can go wrong. And what about my aunt and uncle who fell head over heels in LOVE (yes love) with each other, got married, had 3 kids and are now constantly bickering at each other? They don't even sit and talk for even 2 mins! And there are some young friends of mine who are married (maybe for about 5yrs) and still advise me not to get married. One husband is flirting around with so many other women - and yeah that friend of mine initially fell in LOVE too. Eventually are all the sacrifices and the compromises really worth it when it comes to your freedom? Why can't people be in love without bringing law and rules into it? Does love require promises and vows? Or do those very promises and vows make love less than what it really is? Would Shilpa and my aunt have been happier if they didn't get married? It must have been love back then but it's all over now isnt it...and why is that?

Right now my life is good as it is and I really can do without heartbreak. Though I miss the tender lips of a man on mine and my lips are eternally cursing me for it, there's no other need right now hehe (Gawwwwd I'm dying to kiss!). What will I be in 5yrs time, I don't know. But right now I don't wanna be married cos everyone else is. A sweet romance would be nice though but maybe he and I can just dance, kiss and play like kids without taking it any further - without even knowing each others' names or families or any other details. Will love be forever then? Cos the moment we take it to marriage level, that love seems to turn into obilgations. Or it maybe I still haven't met the angel who will take me by his wings and give me all the love I need OR it maybe that I haven't met the devil who will charm me with his magic spell and later on make me his ironing board. I know that either way the risk has to be taken to know what it'll be like. Or shall I just run?

Current Music: It Must Have Been Love by Roxette

137 Cranium Signets:

southpaw said...

u badly need an expert's opinion.

Vivhyd said...

This post is confusing Keshi.. perhaps its ur confused mind which has got this out.. Sorry!! I think the obligation thing u referred to need not be like that. A different perspective cud help there..

ghee-ghee said...

I love the song..It must have been love.. :)

oh well,what can I say?I envy your freedom?LOL!

there s a saying; marriage is like strangling your neck,hehe..

yeah,boredom and routinely activities suck when you are already in a looooong marriage life,but uh,not all things are negative,i may say so.somethings you`ll get experience that you cant get when you` re single :)

Just enjoy and live your single life to the fullest,Keshi!!and im sure that one day,you`ll know naturally what you like in the future :)

P.S.

Hope you meet a cool hot dude that wont make you run away and freeze,LOL!

a big huggggg!

ghee

Anonymous said...

It must have been love
But it's over now

If I recall the song.

Anyway, I've been there and done it.

The best relationship I have ever had was a brief moment it time, and I didn't even find out his name. I am not a slut. It was the two ships passing by in the night. This time they collided. It was the only time I have ever allowed myself to do something like that, but it is a nice memory.

Bev
www.1050chum.com for streaming oldies online. Canada's fist rock station.

Sujit said...

run is a never ending things!.. and the haunt for love continues!.. you make choice and leave the rest!..

KK said...

I dont think running is a solution. Its just evading from the problem. Unless you try it out you wont know if it was the right decision or not.
Well there is nothing like being single... all fun has to come to an end one day so same way even being a single also needs to come to an end some day :)
Even I am scared to go to the next step... If I get married then I will be restricted to one person ;)

saby said...

mmmuuaaaahhhh
mmmuuaahhhh
mmuaaahh



want more?
then dont run

tulipspeaks said...

Simple la solenumna..

You'll never know what God has in store for you.

*wink wink

You might be running away like a Runaway Bride (kekekeke) but blv me, when time comes, you will know it yourself. Sit back and enjoy your singlehood while you can. 27th Sept 2007 might not be similar to 26th Sept 2006. Darling, you'll never know.


muuuaxxx


=ammu=

priya said...

/Or shall I just run?/
If you are running for yourself its fine. But if you run from commitment, well its always on the go.....

Life is always love; share;care;sorrow;commitment; responsibilities.

We cannot escape from all this in our day today lives.
Love and marriage are 2 different elements. Love before marriage is different, and after marriage its steady.

Love can either balance or rock. If you are for !!! just go for it.
Even if u r not ready for marriage you can live together and get to know well.
Am I talking too much keshi. I think u don't mind!!!!

Love is not a commitment unless you decide to get married.

Madhu said...

Hey Keshi, chill! You are not alone....so many girls think that way...i did so too.

My take on love and marriage is that you should try it out...dont run away. Of course there's no guarantee it will be successful but if u didnt try how would u know. In marriage or for that matter any relationship, if its not working...its better to seperate than fake it. Make up sex is not that good!!!

Am very clear about this, the day either of us loose interest in each other and there is no future for the relationship we will seperate...cos its better than fighting constantly and thinking of what may have been. If u have kids, there will be a worry but if u can work something u need not sacrfice ur life! i might sound selfish but hey! what do the kids gain by seeing their parents fight all the time. Atleast they can be spared of that!

Saying all that, let me say this too...Love and marriage can be bliss, if only both parties are truthful and are ready to put their ego aside and understand each other. Its a work-in-progress so u can never flip a coin and guess the result.

I really do hope u decide to go ahead and find ur Mr.Right.....or even Mr.Ok-for-now. But do try!!

saby said...

Honestly guys
marriage kills romance

wat was once love and loving
is now marital duty
another chore

she used to spend hours in front of the mirror to look good for me
now she dresses for the other guys

i see her at her worst
i get nagged like crazy

u cant blame me, can u?
for having found love and romance again

outside marriage

we dont talk much nowadays
i spend all my free time on the net

in far off places in USA and Canada
Indian girls dont flirt

i prefer Karen and June and Melinda
(she hates me now though) _

Madhu said...

One more thing...u should realize u wont necessarily get a perfect husband....he may not do things the way u like it, he may not like the same things u like,...but hey if u love each other that's what matters.

saby said...

u married girls lissening?
pay heed

its not too late to bring back the romance

but if he is 56
its too late

The Phoenix said...

The biggest gain is always the biggest risk.

Anonymous said...

P.S.

This is the leading news story at this moment in Ontario, Canada.
It has gone international.

Home / Top Stories / Allegations Of Verbal Abuse & Threats Of Deprivation Mark Tie Domi Divorce Case

Allegations Of Verbal Abuse & Threats Of Deprivation Mark Tie Domi Divorce Case
Tuesday September 26, 2006
Tie Domi has faced a lot of fights in his life, but for the first time, he's encountered one he hasn't completely won.
The former Leaf and his estranged wife Leanne reached a temporary settlement in their painful - and very public - break-up on Tuesday.

The likely soon to be ex-Mrs. Domi has accused her husband of having a fling with Aurora Liberal MP Belinda Stronach. It's believed she was demanding up to $45,000 in monthly payments - and a divorce.

Bev

saby said...

our marital vows need redrafting

till death do us part
for getter or worse
is a prison cell

and saath janam tak
is the height of heights

we shud say
'till we continue to love and cherish each other'




and not a minute more

Saltwater Blues said...

hiya keshi!

Keshi said...

Southy na I think I need married ppl's opinion. No other expert can tell me better. U r married..so tell me what u think abt this. Is the Love still there and r u 100% in love with ur wife still?


---------------------------------

Viv heyyy!

Confused? No I wasnt confused at all when I wrote this. This is hpw I feel and how alot of married ppl ard me behave. Maybe Im takign it wrong.

Ok so tell me ur perspective of it then.


-------------------------------

Ghee MWAHHHHHHHH!

Freedom I have girl...but I do miss companionship sometimes.

**there s a saying; marriage is like strangling your neck

lol okkkk!


**somethings you`ll get experience that you cant get when you` re single

definitely! but d u have to be married to experience them?

**Hope you meet a cool hot dude that wont make you run away and freeze

LOL I hope so too. tnxxx Ghee huggggggggggz!


Keshi.

saby said...

heyyyyyyy Keshi

u not being fair to SOUTH
kavita reads his blog

mine dont
TANK GOD!

Keshi said...

Bev Im so glad u shared that story with us!

**The best relationship I have ever had was a brief moment it time, and I didn't even find out his name.

So beautiful. See thats what I mean. I mean that's real love. Obligation-free, unconditional and spontaneous. Had u 2 gotten together for marriage, wud u still remember that moment in such a special way? I dun think so.


--------------------------------


Sujit

**run is a never ending things!.. and the haunt for love continues!..

I didnt u'stand that. plz explain. tnxxx!


--------------------------------

KK heyyy!

**I dont think running is a solution. Its just evading from the problem.

I know it's def not a solution. Maybe Im still hurt from my last breakup so I avoid r'ships. I dunno.

**Even I am scared to go to the next step... If I get married then I will be restricted to one person

LOL ur cheeky!


--------------------------------


Saby mwahhhhhh! :) lol u ok??


**Honestly guys
marriage kills romance

I think so too. Maybe not 100% but it somehow dims the sparks. Cos I see ppl living together and they r much happier than offcially 'married' couples. I think the legality of marriage puts a burden.


**she used to spend hours in front of the mirror to look good for me
now she dresses for the other guys

well thats another thign I have noticed. Few years after marriage, ppl r bored and they wondering why they got married. They r still together but def not in mind. Whats the point.


**we dont talk much nowadays
i spend all my free time on the net
in far off places in USA and Canada
Indian girls dont flirt

Atleast u admit to it. Thats great. Some dun wanna admit it. But it's happening all the time! Secretly or not.

tnxxx Saby!


---------------------------------

Ammmu mwahhhhhhhhh! I missed ya hun.

**27th Sept 2007 might not be similar to 26th Sept 2006

yes thats right. lets wait n see :)

tnxxx n huggggggggggz!


---------------------------------

Priya heyyy!

**If you are running for yourself its fine. But if you run from commitment, well its always on the go.....

thats right...tnxxxx! No Im not running away from committment...I guess the men I meet r not my kind then :( or it it? I dunno.


**Love and marriage are 2 different elements. Love before marriage is different, and after marriage its steady.

Why does marriage have to steady the love? Cant it be steady on its own?


**Even if u r not ready for marriage you can live together and get to know well.

that wont happen in my family. My mum will kill me the day I tell her that. hehehehe.


**Love is not a commitment unless you decide to get married.

there u go! That love becomes an obligation after marriage?



Keshi.

southpaw said...

Yes its intact coz we never lived like an officially married couple though we are. Even when i wasn't married she did everything what she does now and i did the same as well. Moreover as far as the social and the internal craps involved in the marriage is concerned, we don't hv all that. The moment u start taking ur wife as a wife rather than ur companion and vice-versa things start getting screwed up gradually. She has her own set of friends and mode of entertainment, i hv my own, we dont interfere in each other's business and that doesn't means that we live like strangers or the love has disappeared in the course of time or we r into some sort of compromise. There r certain things in life which one has to let take its own course without giving much thought abt it, the moment u think much, lot of arguements creep in within ur mind and u r all messed up. Anyways that was my own experience, u hv ur own ways of thinking and u r fully entitled to it, so the max i can say is Good luck, may u get what u want rather than the so-called compromising life....

Anonymous said...

Hi Keshi.
All of your posts are worth reading coz it seems as if you know everyone's mind. :)

You really don't have to feel that by thinking about your future life you are doing something unacceptable. it's just obvious with each one of us.

Next is that we all have a notion that our mr/miss right'll come some day on a horse wearing a mask like an angel &..... but that day never comes. By this i mean that your mr.angel shall b around you and u'll feel when he's there.Just wait for the right time.

My perception about the devorce & stressed marriages is that people tend to adjust in the initial days of their relation. i.e somewhere in their very heart they know that theres something wrong with the other person but still they carry forward or you may say drag the relation.And eventually this becomes the biggest mistakes of their life.

As far as your idea about your going to be relationship is concerned you are clear{your initial lines} about that & i don't think that any man would expect anything more than what you are ready to give [:)]. but then along with your heart use your brain also and give your love to the person deserving it..and remember that your decision's of today shall decide your tomorrow.so decide gud and remember these lines by Khalil Gibran:

"It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations."

Oh!! it's the quality of your post that made me to just write on and on....i wouldn't have stopped if it wouldn't have been my Numerical Analysis class{:(}.
cya!!!

visithra said...

Hehehe oh dear count me in - n my friend too - i tell her not to runaway n then i runaway myself - well i guess we keep seeing so much negativity - its frightening to commit to one person today only to find out theyre a devil in disguise

everyday i hear some sad story - marriages ending in 3 months, ppl ditching another weeks before the wedding months after agreeing, husbands having affairs - women who use men n dump them as easily - heck no one seems to be spared

im not helping am i? - yeah i like the comfortable-ness of today

saby said...

YES

u both need SPACE South
dats why i am going to DAMAN now for 10 days


Cheers!

Seema said...

Keshiiii...U r not alone gal...ditto...
But I guess rite now the best is to enjoi tis freedom n as all the coments say wait n the rite one will come by n move ahead with a conviction that its gonna b great...well all I can say is yr just normal n these are anxieties of ne gal like u n me! So chill...take care

Keshi said...

Madhu tnxx sweety! U make good sense.

**Its a work-in-progress so u can never flip a coin and guess the result.

true but there's an effort needed there. shouldnt love be free of effort? shouldnt it come naturally? Does it need marriage to confirm it?


**he may not do things the way u like it, he may not like the same things u like,...but hey if u love each other that's what matters.

I know. I aint nowhere near perfect either. But lookin ard me, alot of ppl who fell in love r so out of love after marriage. It's the reality.


tnxxxx n huggggggz dear!


----------------------------------

Phoneix hey mate hows u?

**The biggest gain is always the biggest risk.

I know...we have to take the risks or else life wud be empty. But seeing some ppl who took that BIG risk and now regretting it big time worries me sometimes.


--------------------------------


Hi again Bev! tnxxx for that.


**The likely soon to be ex-Mrs. Domi has accused her husband of having a fling with Aurora Liberal MP Belinda Stronach. It's believed she was demanding up to $45,000 in monthly payments - and a divorce.

Love is grand. Divorce is 45 grand ha? :) See what I mean. Thats a huge price to pay having taken that risk called marriage. Love ends up in dollars - HOW?


---------------------------------


Saby

**'till we continue to love and cherish each other'

thats true.


**u not being fair to SOUTH
kavita reads his blog

So? how wud that matter to South of he's truly and fully in love with his wife? He's not cheating like u do anyways, does he? lol!


---------------------------------

Heyya SaltwaterBlues hows u?




Keshi.

Keshi said...

Southy thats a realy great comment. TY!

**The moment u start taking ur wife as a wife rather than ur companion and vice-versa things start getting screwed up gradually.

Spot on! Now how many men/women will think that way? Im glad u do and both u and Kavi r sensible and lucky ppl. The tags WIFE/HUSBAND strains the love.


**There r certain things in life which one has to let take its own course without giving much thought abt it, the moment u think much, lot of arguements creep in within ur mind and u r all messed up

thats sooo true. ur absolutely right. But how many men/women except the labels WIFE/HUSBAND to behave in a certain way? Thats when things get screwed up. And thats why I mean marriage spoils alot of things for ppl who cant see beyond the labels.

tnxxx that was great!


--------------------------------

Sunil hows u?

tnxxx for ur great comment. Loved it. U r absolutely right when u say that they still drag the relation w.o. confronting. It happens all the time!


**"It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations."

that is such a beautiful quote! tnxxx so much for sharing that with us here. Such wisdom!

yes love happens in a moment...it not in the years spent together, it's not defined by marriage and it's certainly not an expectation. TY!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Seema tnxx sweety :) I so hope Im normal lol!


**guess rite now the best is to enjoi tis freedom n as all the coments say wait n the rite one will come by n move ahead with a conviction that its gonna b great...

true..ty!


Keshi.

southpaw said...

@Saby
Don't swim in the liquor there, but in case u can't control urself go for the Kingfisher lite, rest is all putrified spirit...

southpaw said...

Alright then i hope u come out of that anxiety and keep an open mind.

Jewel Rays said...

Hey Keshi...

Juz what i have been waiting for! been looking forward to this post of yours! :) When i was reading the first paragraph i was like OMG that sounds like me..hahaha..:P And i love the expression of it . and the last pic is so cute and funny. really what i feel..hahaha..:P

I don't really know what to say really..:) but sure feel that way and really wonder whats the issue within me. Unless that is unveiled a solution could be just standing willing..;)

HUGS gurl!!

nice post and pics.!

Keshi said...

Visithra ur spot on!

**i tell her not to runaway n then i runaway myself -

I say that to my friends too and Im all single everyday LOL!


**well i guess we keep seeing so much negativity - its frightening to commit to one person today only to find out theyre a devil in disguise

so true. I guess its what we see happening ard us. And I cant believe that even after watching so many sugary Tamil/Hindi movies, Im still sane. :)


--------------------------------

aww South u think Im anxietic?


--------------------------------

Amyyyyyyyy mwahhhhhhh! I was waiting for ya :)


**When i was reading the first paragraph i was like OMG that sounds like me.

LOL it'll only have to be one of 2 girls...Amy or Keshi. :):)


**and the last pic is so cute and funny

I loved it too ROFL!


**Unless that is unveiled a solution could be just standing willing

so true. I wish we can just break that barrier somehow...I mean I wish that barrier-breaking man comes along soon LOL!

tc n huggggggggggggz!


Keshi.

TLW said...

I dont think you are alone.....and not just girls I guess..Well, you may find a coupla guys too;-)

KCS said...

Rocky spoke to me just now and asked me to leave everything and read this post and put a female's point of view on this.

The anxiety and the confusion about Men and Women you have is fine, but not the reality ofcourse. As a human being you got to take chances initially and carry on if its okay, there is nothing wrong if it doesn't works out and you have to retreat, thats what makes us human. But on the other side after all the education and exposure we had, it always gives us the tool to measure the decision first hand right in the beginning and generally it goes fine. If a person is okay initially there is nothing wrong in going a step further, you never know what you are missing. Take for example Rocky-rajbir ofcourse, you must see him to believe me, he is one of the most arrogant and serious individual you can ever expect in your life(He'll kill me for this :D) and what do you think when you know that before you he had affairs with 60 something girls? But still i must confess i was bowled on the first sight and even after knowing his past i decided to gamble and you can see the jackpot i have won. Even today he gets numerous sms from various females, but i have faith in his committment and i haven't been disappointed as yet. I know i am not supposed to say any further on this but dear keshi you are depriving yourself with this confusion, come out of it.
Take care.
Kavita.

Keshi said...

TLW yes it can be the same for guys too. This post is for everyone. tnxxxx for confirming it ;-)


-----------------------------------


Kavi heyyyyyyyy WC! Im so glad to have u hear WOW :) Im so honored. TY for taking the time!

Both u and Raj r lucky ppl. Absolutely lucky in love. And I congratulate u 2 for being so candid abt ur r'ship. So beautiul and so sweet both of u.


**and what do you think when you know that before you he had affairs with 60 something girls?

LOL I know. I'll be honest, if I were u I'd never have dated him - seriously. Cos I'd freak out when I hear of his 66 lovers. I'd actually faint.


**Even today he gets numerous sms from various females, but i have faith in his committment and i haven't been disappointed as yet.

And thats what's imp. U have faith in him and Im sure has in u too. Thats very much required and if 2 ppl cant build that then a marriage breaks down.

im so happy for both of u. I wish I could meet u in real. MWAHHHHHHH n tnxxxxxxxx sweety! TC.


Keshi.

southpaw said...

I m sorry but thats what u hv made urself out of that unnecessary confusion in life...

My word! the wife never misses any opportunity to describe my arrogance....

Keshi said...

Southy heyy yes THE WIFE is here :) How nice!

** unnecessary confusion in life

so u think it's an unnecessary confusion lol?



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Guys someone just emailed me this. LOL read it:



World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl
said, "NO!" And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping,
dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never
had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased... did whatever the
hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, had
many boyfriends, saved more money, and had all the hot water to
herself. She watched chick flicks, never football, never wore
fricken lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem,
never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and
burped, swore and farted all the time.

THE END

adi said...

first of all, u two r not alone

men have felt like this for centuries ;)
welcome to the club
and yeah, the song is what i love very much.

need not run buddy. u r not letting things happen by themselves. just that. take care. and if u wanna feel even the next part of the story, welcome to delhidreams ;)

southpaw said...

Yes i think its an unnecessary confusion in life which is depriving u of things u deserved. Come out of it, Life isn't that bad...winks*

Silvara said...

LOL. I think you're very normal Keshi - taking that first step into a reltionship is scary enough, let alone making a committment for life. My advice: Take it slow - know the one that waits for you is the one worth waiting for. It's not about being bound to one person, but WANTING to share your life (or a few moments) with one person. The scariest part of falling in love for me, was the thought that if it doesn't work out - they have a part of you that can never come back. In the case of marriage - no experience yet, but get back to me in about a year's time :P

Love the song as well - Take care girl :)

- Silvara

samuru999 said...

Keshi my sweet!
What a post!
This is one of those posts where I am a little lost for words!
But, I'll try my best to tell you how I feel!

I have been married for a while, and it was love from the start...
and today the love is as real as it ever was.
Over the years my love has gotten
stronger, and it is the same for my husband.
Every day he wants to make love to me... now how great is that?
Oh, don't get me wrong... we have had problems, but no matter what
happened... our love got us through it all.
I wish I could give you some wise advice dear keshi....
But, what would it be?
Only that love is the most beautiful thing in the world when it is real... and don't run away from it!
I have to go now, as my hubby is waiting for me.
I often stay up too late...
and I promised him I would join him when he goes to bed...
and you never know what will happen!
I feel romance in the air tonight!
Maybe I will comment more later...
as I do not think I have been much help to you Keshi.
Sorry about that love!
Huggggz!
Margie

Autumn Storm said...

Okay, I just know I am going to have an overly-romantic, rose-tinted view on this one. :-)

Firstly, there's always a chance that things will not work out, very little is certain in this world, people are capable of change, outside forces can influence and all the rest of it. That's a given.

That said, perhaps part of the reason things turn sour down the road are for reasons such as complacency, not making enough effort and so on.

Also, perhaps these perfect partners were not that at all. We've all been attracted/fallen for someone completely wrong for us.
I like the whole idea of falling in love and it all being perfect as much as the next person, fate and soulmates and all the rest of it - think I'd like to hang on to the possibility of that being something that does happen sometimes. :-D

I'm just babbling away here, but it seems to me, it takes a while to figure out who we are, or to put it another way to become who we are, and so I can't see how until we have done so, we would be capable of knowing with whom we could spend a lifetime.

Date, date, date, that's my advice, if you know what you don't want, then it will be easier to figure out what you do want and then when you find it, you'll stick around to work at taking it to that next level, I'm sure.

As for the whole soulmates thing, sweet as the thought is, I think there are potentially very many people out there, that one could make a happy relationship with, emphasis on 'make' - quoting hundreds of people now of course, but I figure they are right, a happy, long-lasting relationship takes all kinds of effort and from both sides, but it'd be worthwhile.

What's this whole age thing anyway. Biological in part, influence of society around us in part also, but I don't see how one can put any sort of timeframe on it - that's the thought that keeps me warm at night, anyway ;-D
If I'm still a Miss when I'm 50, then I'll start worrying, join a dating agency and trust in them to find me a so-called perfect match based on a serious of questions.

& what would it matter anyway. Well, as you said (or something like it), it's not in the marrying, it's in having a relationship that builds and develops over time, I'd like to have that at some point in my life, as most of us would.

Ok, end of babble :-)

uttara said...

keshi ...

ya lot of times i have a turmoil the same as u have .. but i dont deny few facts as what raj and his lovely wife have put across beautifully..
i may not be in a good position to say anything here..
but i think raj n kavita have said

huggggggggggggz!!!

deepsat said...

oh keshi dear.. dont run away like that!!

if u run away from love, u will only get chased!! and marriage, thats one thing u can hide from!!

give the next potential a chance!! draw ur boundaries and see how it goes!!

;-))

Madhu said...

**Its a work-in-progress so u can never flip a coin and guess the result.

true but there's an effort needed there. shouldnt love be free of effort? shouldnt it come naturally? Does it need marriage to confirm it?


Hmmmm i think any relationship needs effort. We all take efforts to patch up with our parents, sibilings....make them happy by doing something...its the same with a husband/boyfriend. Love and Marriage are two different perspectives....i agree marriage is not necessary to show that u love someone.

U can be in love and not commit but in marriage there is commitment and a lot more involved. Not only does marriage bond two ppl, but two families.

Kroopa Shah (Kr00pz) said...

Well. count me in on that. So that makes 3 of us. And no, we are not weird :-)

SamY said...

I knew it was u just as I was finished with the pink text ;)) ... so who was that guy /:)

well well ... guess u havn't seen women who treat men like shit ... I'v seen such creatures

did u know ... it much easier for a woman to live without a man that a man to live without a woman :)

Love is a triangle keshi ... its 3 sides are intimacy which makes ppl friends, passion/lust which make ppl romance and commitment which makes ppl stick ... only when all 3 component come in its true love

I'v known women @ 30 who r not married n r soo longing for it ... I known men go in ruin as the grow older when single or seperated ... living single ain't ez keshi just coz Dr kalam or susmita did ... not everybodies piece of cake

to lot many marriage is stars n glitters ... coz they do it usually @ a point when they want to lay hands on one another ;)) ... or they think they r of age ... it a question of mental preparedness

if u feel like r'ship/marriage is like getting stuck in a coffin, then hold ur horses :)

as for the risk ... its just like ur career keshi ... u can just work ur days n be just another employee in just another company or stick you head out plausibly getting ur finger burned ... but thatz how gr8 ppl turned up

** It must have been love back then but it's all over now isnt it...and why is that?

boredom perhaps ... sometimes taking a break or time-off helps ... maybe they just ain't compatible ... expectations ... a million reasons keshi ... ppl need change

as for failed marriages ... it happens even when both the ppl r amongst the nicest ... they just dun fit it ... no one need to be @ fault

** What will I be in 5yrs time

lemme guess ... a mom for a cutie n a sausy chick for ur loverboy :p

Anonymous said...

Ahhh dontcha worry.. I'm in the club too.. :D Yep, it's alll about the freedom of staying single ;)

Perspective Inc. said...

Aww.. running does nothing really!!
Love the post btw! :)

desperado said...

too much thinking going on..huh???

not always right dear
sometimes its better to flow wid d tide....wid d heart...do it

if you wont use your heart what matters if its broken

Keshi said...

Adi tnxxx for assuring me :)

**welcome to the club

lol ty!

Next part of the story is abt u and ur GF? aww...

---------------------------------


Southy Im not sure abt that...anyways tnxxx!


---------------------------------

Silvara hey tnxxx! :):)

**It's not about being bound to one person, but WANTING to share your life (or a few moments) with one person.

thats soooo true! TY for that.


**the scariest part of falling in love for me, was the thought that if it doesn't work out - they have a part of you that can never come back.

big time! It happened to me last time I broke up with my ex. He took a huge chunk of me with him. I wasnt the same again.

ur getting married next year? I'd get heeby jeebies if I were ya lol! Good luck sweety! Something so nice to look forward to.

---------------------------------

Margieeeee mwahhhhhhhhh! :) I know u'd have great advice for me. TY!

**Every day he wants to make love to me... now how great is that?

AWWWWWWWWWW how sweet! Im not surprised there cos what a wonderful woman u r!


**and you never know what will happen!
I feel romance in the air tonight!

OOO LALA ;-) tell me all abt it tomorrow :):)

tnxxxx for all the advice and HUGGGGGGGGGGZ sweety ur spot on!


---------------------------------


Autumn_Storm that was so well-thought of. TY sweety huggggggggggz! I loved every word u wrote. Brilliant.

yes u gotta try to know.

**I like the whole idea of falling in love and it all being perfect as much as the next person, fate and soulmates and all the rest of it - think I'd like to hang on to the possibility of that being something that does happen sometimes

Spot on! The possibility indeed. Thats what keeps u going. I mean while I put my running shoes and run run run, I might be burying all the possibilities even b4 they r born.

See I dun date. That must be my problem too. Cos I refuse to date. As long a s aguy is a good friend, thats all that matters to me. The moment he gets romantic with me I run a million miles...I might even pass the entire Great Wall of China! But I know that im a good lover...I was once. I think my broken past makes me do this now. My heart is scarred beyond plastic surgery Autumn. That must be why. Anyways u've got great advice for me.


**If I'm still a Miss when I'm 50, then I'll start worrying, join a dating agency and trust in them to find me a so-called perfect match based on a serious of questions.

yeah thats right. I shouldnt be worried now cos Im still young. when Im 50 and if Im still single I'll think abt it...and I'll def think of u. HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

---------------------------------

Uttsy mwahhhhhhhh! No u dun have such probs sweety...ur not so headstrong like me r ya?


----------------------------------

Deepsat lets see then...tnxxxxx! :)


----------------------------------

Madhu I somehow feel that 'effort' is not needed when u truly love someone. It come snaturally and I wont define that as effort.

**Not only does marriage bond two ppl, but two families.

true. But b bonding families, u gotta be sure u have the bond. marriage should not bond 2 ppl, love should.


--------------------------------

Kr000pz WC aboard Virgin Airlines LOL, tnxxxxx sweety!


--------------------------------

Samy lol u knew it was me? Awwww...


**its 3 sides are intimacy which makes ppl friends, passion/lust which make ppl romance and commitment which makes ppl stick ... only when all 3 component come in its true love

why d u require marriage for someone to stick ard?


**if u feel like r'ship/marriage is like getting stuck in a coffin, then hold ur horses

def not hehehe. But u never know.


**lemme guess ... a mom for a cutie n a sausy chick for ur loverboy

a mini-Keshi hell u dun want that LOL!Saucy chick for my guy...now that I am ;-)

tnxxx Samy for all the assurance. Now why r ya still single? :)




Keshi.

Keshi said...

Johno hello :)

**it's alll about the freedom of staying single

so true. Somehow being single rules ha? tnxxx!


---------------------------------


PerspectiveINC WC n ty! :)


---------------------------------

Desperado heyyyyyyy!

**if you wont use your heart what matters if its broken

true...but I did use my heart b4 and it's now broken beyond repair.

TC.


Keshi.

Eclipsed Thoughts said...

make it 3... (from 2)... even i am quite like that.... always scared to let go of my freedom....

But anyways, i believe my freedom is very impt to me... some pppl i know say that i am in a vain search of platonic love....

Phoenix said...

Ahh..marriage u know is one of those things..u'd regret it when u do it, u'd regret it if u don't
:D

Dunno what i want..ia m too damn young anyway, but hey...bunk it na and think about the mr. kissable yet...when it's meant to work out, u wont be confused...and everyone esle will know too...because this blog would be blaring something like "He's the One!":P

Sush said...

everything seems so confusing, there are such moments and phases in life...

aaaaaaaaaaa big huggggggggggiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee everything will fall into place pretty soon.

mathew said...

strong thoughts..Infact am not sure what exactly to write as comments as I have never even thought about it..

Just wanna say..Go with what your heart tells you..But consult your brain before as well!! :)

Orikinla Osinachi. said...

Sweet Keshi,
For how long will you continue to whine over this?
It was actually boring. And I won't flatter you here.

You are scared, because you were hurt really bad in the last relationship.

When the right man comes, the closed door of your heart will open wide to welcome him. And he will heal your broken heart and comfort your soul.

God bless.

the sunflower said...

i know exactly what you're saying here....! these thoughts pop in everyone's mind... even though they are not a runaway spinster!

Neers said...

make it 4!!! :p

Anonymous said...

hey keshi... this is a period of time which every person would go thro' i guess.. u'll definitely know when u r really in love.. tht time u won't run.. u'll jus stand there n want him to take u in his arms n kiss.. wait for tht time :)

Mehak said...

Confusing post Keshi....too many If's & but's & maybe's...but thats the way you are feeling right now...

Hey Gurl no running away....My best wishes with you.....May you find your soul mate.....I don't want to say soon...cuz even if you find him later in life...i want him to be the perfect one for you....

Love being in Love & being Loved !!!!

cheerios

Contented said...

Thats a bewildering question I have too...Do let me know the solution in case you find it....LOL...:P

Anonymous said...

I mean what if I fall in love with the wrongest man on Earth and then it becomes too late to get out

You won't know till you try to get know someone right? What you say is the next level is really the only way to find out. And you will onll know how a person is when you start talkling about things at the next level.

As for rules and laws in a marriage.. I think in any relationships has agreements or understandings about how things work. More importantly I think it is about communication and keeping those lines open. It is also about respect.

I can't speak for other marriages, but all I can say is they all need a lot fo work and understanding and investment at all times.

That being said, I think you should go for it, you won't know what it is all about unless you take the next step. Just my opinion.

R2K said...

: ) Run away!

Anonymous said...

Late as usual...

Anyways, don't think only women do this. I have seen many of my male friends thinking before taking the next step, like asking a girl out. A lot of time is spent building different scenarios, and over-analysing them...

BTW, congrats for coming out of closet ;)

indianangel said...

Heya Looks like you are seriously starting to feel the pain of being lonely! eh? There are certain things that we do need to compromise when two people get on to a relationship sometimes for life! You know what when our parents know us well for 25-27 years we still have differences of opinion with them - dont we not? Just in the same way it happens between partners/spouses too. We have started a new way of getting to know each other off late a kind of new tradition catching up should I say? Get to know your guy/gal, stay around for 3-4 months before you decide the nuptial knot! In this 3-4 months start trying to understand one another, see what your frequencies are( you can probably act in front of your partner for a day or probably for a week, not for months!), and most of all dont ever try to point out on what your partner's mistakes are, Finally after 4-5 months if you think your ideas and interest match with your partner's then you should proceed! I know there are folks who have had a great life for 5-6 years and then all hell breaks loose! A relationship counsellor helps in most cases to help you at these times. anyway Im off to office right now, will come back later again with a few more points. After all life is to be enjoyed - take care! Hugzzzz! :) No fret lady, dont worry! :)

SamY said...

** Samy lol u knew it was me? Awwww

that was 2 easy

** why d u require marriage for someone to stick ard?

marriage IMHO is an institution conceptualized to deprecare ppl grazing around with anyone and everyone by whim n be commited ... may be a bad analogy but they don't want ppl to be like stray dogs ... no hard feeling ... but I hope that conveys the message ... nevertheless ppl do ... now imagine a world where such an institution didn't exist

** a mini-Keshi hell u dun want that LOL!Saucy chick for my guy...now that I am ;-)

even little lord krishna was hell :)

** Now why r ya still single? :)

I am just not ready for it :). I wanna do somethings before I am bound. A person can't takes risk with commitments which r often dependencies.

More importantly, I feel like being stuck in a coffin when I think of marriage. Maybe coz I'v not as yet met the person who wud make me feel otherwise :).

Plenty more reasons. My 1st reason is the base for all other reasons ;), so i'll cut it here.

CHIC-HANDSOME said...

life just a good

Autumn Storm said...

Feel for you, Kesh, and I can understand in as far as is possible with you being you and me being me.

Here's a thought:
Sometimes things hurt so bad they can seem impossible to let go of/get past. Seem being the operative word and anything being possible.
It may take a while, may take a long while, but to do it would be worth it in the end and so much more.
Life's too short and too precious to do anything other than to grab every opportunity for some happiness.


Love and hugs, x

Foodie's Hope said...

That's called maturity, Keshi!! You don't want to wear your heart in your sleeves any more and think twice before jumping in!!
I know, believe me! When you are giong out with someone, we are always at our BEST behaviour,bubble bursts when you get married and live with them!! :)) You think 'what the hell was I thinking?' Too late then!!:D:D
But if you meet a person you really like, it is worth taking a risk. If you don't, then you end up with lot of cats!! :D:D I am not saying that's bad..But.....

Dh@v@! said...

Wht a coinc... my winamp is also playing "It Must Have Been Love" n i love that song...
btw nice post - i think its not required right... by default wo to hai... :)

saby said...

http://imnutsincapsluv.blogspot.com/2006/09/we-are-married-now-end-of-romance.html



.

Maya Cassis said...

Keshi,it's totally normal for you to run.When you meet your true love,you will just know.And trust me on this one,you will stand glued to his ground and you will not even break into a sprint at that moment...simply cos you wouldn't want to. :)

Hazel Dream said...

Hmm I have been running from the third level because i am chasing my dream. but i know i can run but i cant hide .
In between i have done some mistakes and I have been someone else's mistake. and yes i am scared of triumph of time over love. but then its our maturity which will balance it .

dumbdodi said...

Kesh....first of all there is no need to be under pressure for not being married...to strike a comparision its like being under pressure for not being size 6-8...

But if you wish to get married but its the bad marriages around you that is stopping you...then honey there are failures in everything..but going by the failures around you one can't stop living.....

And one always has a choice...if something does go awfully wrong..there is always a way out...if you talk about the cultural and social obligations..do you think honestly you are governed by them as of now...if not then what makes you think that will change...and society matters to you as of today then what will being married change....

And Kesh one has to give a part of themselves or 'FREEDOM' if you choose to call it that. In any relationship we get tied and there are obligations but mostly if we love that kith or kin of ours obligations don't seem obligatory..so hun marriage or a husband is no different...also it doesn't hold true just for you...your partner will have awful lot to give to you..and awful lot of 'FREEDOM' to lose as well dear

The bottom line is 'ONE CANT HAVE THE CAKE AND EAT IT TOO'....and the choice is yours and yours alone

Your happily married friend
Radhika :-)

Within Without said...

Wow, Kesh...now THIS is daring and honest.

You're clearly scared of being hurt, because you still hurt from before.

And that seems to have been reinforced in your own heart and mind by the marriage breakups, etc., that you see around you.

In North America, the divorce rates are at about 50 per cent. That is shocking, but it's true.

Once burned, twice shy...that appears to be what's happening to you, and I can relate.

You say how much you want to be kissed, etc., but your whole issue is about all the other stuff that eventually comes with it...commitment, etc.

For the past six months I've been carrying on this long-distance relationship with someone.

She was and is crazy about me, but fear and reality gripped me and wouldn't let go.

The last time she was here, I broke it off and told her I just didn't feel the same intensity towards her that she had for me.

I DON'T think she was or is right for me, but then I've got a lot of fear playing as a motivator in there too...fear of being hurt again but also that I didn't feel that same magic for her that I felt for another woman a couple of years ago following my divorce, a woman who ended our relationship.

I didn't want that relationship to end and it did and I haven't really been the same since then.

I've gone out with lots of women and had plenty of opportunities to get into a deep relationship, but usually I've been the one to end those.

I really think with me it's just a matter of I don't want to make the same mistake I made originally when I got married, so I'm ultra careful and, yes, I'm very picky at this point.

But it sounds to me like your concerens are more driven by fear. And until that fear leaves your heart (remember the old Bee Gees tune, How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?) you won't be ready to let someone in like that.

So your individuality and safety are preserved, but then you miss out on the true closeness you seem to really want.

So your life can end up feeling somewhat empty. Yeah, you're not being hurt because you're not allowing yourself to get into a situation where you CAN be hurt.

It's like going over to a friend's on a cool autumn night for a marshmallow roast around a fire but then standing so far away from the blaze (so as not to get burned) that you can't feel its warmth -- the whole point of being there.

I just think at some point you've got to reach the point where you step out there and into harm's way a little bit and take some risks if you want the rewards.

When you do that, and when you say consciously you're going to do that, you'll start feeling alive.

That's my experience, anyway.

Anonymous said...

Johno??? After, Johnee, which was the lastest, this one is up the charts.. Hmmm, wonder how much more creativity is left :p

niki yokota said...

awww keshi-chan is missing men's lips??
thats chweeto!!!
i dont like kissing :P
prefer virtual love these days.

Jeevan said...

"I'm dying to kiss!" awe the last Para was very sweet dear. Wish u will get an understandable Lover and Hubby;)) like to play like kids" hum its lovely.

desperado said...

was listening to dis song...wanted to share wid u keeping in mind d post n ur thoughts...

song called The Dolphin's Cry by Live

The way you're bathed in light
reminds me of that night
god laid me down into your rose garden of trust
and I was swept away
with nothin' left to say
some helpless fool
yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace
you're all I need to find
so when the time is right
come to me sweetly, come to me
come to me

love will lead us, alright
love will lead us, she will lead us
can you hear the dolphin's cry?
see the road rise up to meet us
it's in the air we breathe tonight
love will lead us, she will lead us

life is like a shooting star
it don't matter who you are
if you only run for cover, it's just a waste of time
we are lost 'til we are found
this phoenix rises up from the ground
and all these wars are over



PS: Do listen to this one...ull love to rock to dis one..my promise...just relax dear...take care

samuru999 said...

Keshi
This will be my 3rd try!
Blogger is not working today!

Anyway, it is the middle of the night there, and I hope you are having beautiful dreams.

You know I want so much for you to be truly happy Keshi... and that includes being happy in love!
Not that you are not happy now...
but you can be so much happier in
love!
I wish I had a magic wand, and I would weave a spell of magic that you would never be sad again.
But, I have no magic wand to do that... and we each make our owm magic.

I know you were hurt by love... and it seems to me you are afraid to trust in love again.
But if you do not trust you will
not allow love to come to you.

Twice I was hurt by love very badly...and all I wanted to was
cry a million tears.

Then one day...I was awoken by the most beautiful sunrise...and on that day I decided I would no longer hide myself away from the possibility of love entering my life again.

I was willing to trust in love again... and 3 months after that day... I met the love of my life!
And, I have been in love ever since.

Keshi... open up your heart to the idea of love... and trust in it!
You have to be able to trust in love before it will come to you!

I have love n lost twice... but,
the one true love of my life has
been by my side for a while now!

Do not let all the horror stories
about love gone bad scare you!
It does not have to be that way!

I will go now... as I many things to do!
I hope all this rambling might have given you just a little encouragement!
I want only the best for you!
Love to you...
now n always!

Margie

Pallavi said...

Keshi interesting post and just so to add that you are not alone, there are quite a few girls out there who feel the same way.

The Old Lady said...

Sometimes in life you need to take a chance.It is true it may all go wrong.But,if you never try it you'll never know.Someone asked me once.What do you regret most in your life the things you did or the things you didnt.I regret the things i didn't do.The things i did ,i know how those turned out.Bit i do wonder sometimes.What if i had go on the date, taken that job.How would my life be different.I wouldn't marry though just for the frills of a wedding.But if you find someone to love then i would consider it.Maybe you won't stay in love forever.But wouldn't you like to feel that complete love even for a short time.
Take care
Saby sent me over by the way
http://pinklady.typepad.com/

Cherrypie said...

Keep running. Until you find one that catches up with you and overtakes you.

Buy good trainers in the meantime

s0ulasylum said...

aaah kesh.. u've just spoken on behalf of all of us 20 somethg independent- living for ourselves, gals out there! trust me honey.. u and amy are not the only ones.. we're right behind you .. err .. some of us are even leading u ... thr thr.. look ahead.. u see tht nose ringed gal.. thts me.. LOL :))

i guess if guys are allowed to have commitment issues and are branded 'out-of-planet' and 'whacko' on wanting to commit and also get away with it, i think we're allowed at least this much in our brains..

sweet romance.. no strings attached sounds purfecto... altho the point being.. its easier read in books and watched on celluloid than it happenin in real.. :( ..
but trust me.. whn u meet the guy u have to be with .. yup. im goin right ahead n bringin destiny in (im a hopeless romantic, shoot me pls!:).. ) trust me u'll just instinctively know.. and if you have to think to make a decision, its never meant to be, even as a frivolous relationship..
whoa! i dnt know wht im saying here.. i've been typing nonstop.. hahaha.. hope the comment makes sense in totality!
and dont worry abt them men babes.. they're already buzzing around ya.. all you need to do is beckon! :D

The Individualist said...

I think, when instead of loving because you are in love with love, if you love because you are in love with the person, you will be a lot less confused.
And yes. Indian culture is not synonymous with 'adjusting' wives anymore. And it's a good thing. People tend to say that the increase in divorces in the country is a terrible thing. But I think, on the contrary, it is a very good thing. It, at least, shows that people do not stick for the sake of sticking. And ruin their lives even more. It also shows that people, read 'women', are becoming more and more confident of living single. And 'marriage', like one fellow blogger says, is not a necessity in one's life.
"Cos the moment we take it to marriage level, that love seems to turn into obligations."
Love seems to turn into an obligation once you get married? Am curious. Would you like to elucidate on that? :)

s0ulasylum said...

ooooh also.. loveeee this song!!
me encanta.. muchos gracias bonita!! :D

Keshi said...

KAP heyyy!

So ur joining me too? GREAT! I knew it u'd be there ;-)


**But anyways, i believe my freedom is very impt to me... some pppl i know say that i am in a vain search of platonic love....

hehe yep they tell me that too. They tell me I'm dumb, that I think too much, that I'd never find that kind of pure pure love, and even if I find it that it'll die soon after few months of dating etc etc...well I dunno, I still believe that that kind of platonic love is out there and that it can happen between 2 ppl...even if it doesn't end up in marriage.


-----------------------------------

G'day Phoenix!

**u'd regret it when u do it, u'd regret it if u don't

Spot on! :)


**bunk it na and think about the mr. kissable yet...

Some great advice there ;-) tnxxx!


**because this blog would be blaring something like "He's the One!":P

LOL it sure will have that title! tnxxx for making me laugh :):)


----------------------------------

Sush hows ya?

**everything will fall into place pretty soon.

u think so Sush? well tnxx for hoping for me :)


----------------------------------

Matty how r ya? Hows Deutcheland?


**Go with what your heart tells you..But consult your brain before as well!!

I did go with my heart and brain 4 times b4...all 4 times proved I was not cut out for lasting love. hehehe. Anyways tnxx mate!

-----------------------------------

Ori heyyy!

**For how long will you continue to whine over this?

hmmm for as long as Im single u'd have to read such whingy whiney posts in my blog :):) Sorry mate hehehehe.


**It was actually boring. And I won't flatter you here.

no probs. be honest always :) yawwwwwwwwwn yeah lol!


**You are scared, because you were hurt really bad in the last relationship.

Im no scared! NO WAYS! I have loved with all my heart 4 times b4 and no Im not scared to love again. Maybe Im scared of a male's cheating heart or his inability to love unconditionally, but Im never scared to love!


**And he will heal your broken heart and comfort your soul.

well yeah 4 times bitten 100 times shy :) lets see...

tnxxx for everything Ori!


----------------------------------

Sunflower heyyy! Im glad u have similar thoughts too.



Keshi.

SaffronSaris said...

Poppy doll-pearl, I was reading your reply to my previous post, and I saw Saby's comment....LOL! I almost fell off the chair!!

You know, if you become an actress, stage or TV, then you can experience all these (and more) without too much emotions attached. brilliant huh?

Tarun said...

I see remake of 'Runaway bride' on the way....dear keshi

Keshi said...

Neers babez hows u?

**make it 4!

LOL great. :):)


----------------------------------

Heyyy Prasad!


**u'll jus stand there n want him to take u in his arms n kiss..

awwww so sweet...lets hope that happens Prasad, ty!

-----------------------------------

Mehak hellooo!

**Confusing post Keshi....too many If's & but's & maybe's...

Im sorry to confuse ya :(


**I don't want to say soon...cuz even if you find him later in life...i want him to be the perfect one for you....

awwww HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ ty!


**Love being in Love & being Loved !!!!

well thats cos we r beings of love. we need love, want to love, love being loved. We r in this life cos of love, for love and to give love.

----------------------------------

heyy Contented!

**Thats a bewildering question I have too...Do let me know the solution in case you find it

lol what question? Shall I run? :):)

-----------------------------------

Sanjay matey hows u?


**What you say is the next level is really the only way to find out.

I know that Jay. But that next level which I took 4 times b4 went stray. Then I keep thinking maybe there's ever an endless love for me. U see some ppl's love lives r perfect...like how Julia Roberts said in some movie..their love lives r nicely shaped like a ring. But some others' love lives r not so well-paved...they just have to make shape it as they go...and some others love life's just dun exist...mebbe Im in the last category? Cos each time I tried love, it ended all too soon.


**More importantly I think it is about communication and keeping those lines open. It is also about respect.

true.


**I can't speak for other marriages, but all I can say is they all need a lot fo work and understanding and investment at all times.

aha Im sure.

tnxx Jay I'll keep all of that in mind.

----------------------------------

Alex heyyy!

**: ) Run away!

Really? lol tnxxxx! Right now I have abt 6 worn-out pairs of trainers :):)

----------------------------------

hiyyya Fleiger :)


**I have seen many of my male friends thinking before taking the next step, like asking a girl out.

Indeed. It's men who started this running away game lol!


**BTW, congrats for coming out of closet ;)

hehe I feel alot more free now.


----------------------------------

Heyyy Indianangel!


**Heya Looks like you are seriously starting to feel the pain of being lonely! eh?

yes it does hit me hard sometimes.


**You know what when our parents know us well for 25-27 years we still have differences of opinion with them - dont we not? Just in the same way it happens between partners/spouses too.

thats so true. changes occur. But that doesnt mean the love has to die??


**Get to know your guy/gal, stay around for 3-4 months before you decide the nuptial knot!

I really dun think that when u find that love it even needs 3-4 months to know him/her. U'll know straight away. Thats how I feel. :)


**and most of all dont ever try to point out on what your partner's mistakes are,

hehe I never do that. Anyways Im full of flaws too so how can I do that to someone else.


**Finally after 4-5 months if you think your ideas and interest match with your partner's then you should proceed!

u see thats what bugs me. I really dun like this idea of 'thinking','checking','testing' etc...I feel love is not be that.


**After all life is to be enjoyed - take care! Hugzzzz! :) No fret lady, dont worry! :)

ty so much Indianangel and HUGGGGGGZ!

----------------------------------

SamY hello mello! :)


**marriage IMHO is an institution conceptualized to deprecare ppl grazing around with anyone and everyone by whim n be commited ...

true but thats what marriage is...surely thats not what love is??


**may be a bad analogy but they don't want ppl to be like stray dogs ...

so ur guarding, tightening, securing, fencing love here? how can love be secured that way?


**now imagine a world where such an institution didn't exist

Im not saying marriage should not be there at all. Maybe it should - for ppl who seek 'security'.


**even little lord krishna was hell :)

lol and he must have been like lil Samy? awwww....


**I am just not ready for it :). I wanna do somethings before I am bound. A person can't takes risk with commitments which r often dependencies.

understood :)


**More importantly, I feel like being stuck in a coffin when I think of marriage.

ROFL! have u been inside a coffin? lol!


**Maybe coz I'v not as yet met the person who wud make me feel otherwise :).

Im sure God has a beautiful girl for Samy somewhere out there...cos Samy is a beautiful soul.


----------------------------------

JAMESEE-ST-SMILE WC!

**life just a good

? ok tnxxx!

----------------------------------

Autumn heyyyy!


**Sometimes things hurt so bad they can seem impossible to let go of/get past. Seem being the operative word and anything being possible.

thats so true. it may SEEM like that but it may really not be so.


**Life's too short and too precious to do anything other than to grab every opportunity for some happiness.

so true. ty sweety n huggggggggggz!


----------------------------------

Foodie heyyy!


**That's called maturity, Keshi!! You don't want to wear your heart in your sleeves any more and think twice before jumping in!!

u think so, tnxxx!


**I know, believe me! When you are giong out with someone, we are always at our BEST behaviour,bubble bursts when you get married and live with them!!

thats what I mean!


**But if you meet a person you really like, it is worth taking a risk. If you don't, then you end up with lot of cats!! :D:D I am not saying that's bad..But.....

LOL cute one! yes I dun mind being single...as long as Im jolly and free :) tnxx n hugggggggggz!

----------------------------------

heyyy Dh@v@! how have ya been?


**Wht a coinc... my winamp is also playing "It Must Have Been Love" n i love that song...

really wow!


**btw nice post - i think its not required right... by default wo to hai... :)

wuts wo to hai? :)

----------------------------------

Saby

**http://imnutsincapsluv.blogspot.com/2006/09/we-are-married-now-end-of-romance.html

LOL I'll check it out. tnxxx!

-----------------------------------

Maya helloooooo!


**And trust me on this one,you will stand glued to his ground and you will not even break into a sprint at that moment...

hehe thats what I think too..but let me wear more trendy trainers b4 that happens :)

----------------------------------

Hazel hows ya?

**Hmm I have been running from the third level because i am chasing my dream. but i know i can run but i cant hide .

3rd level meaning marriage? why cant u hide? lol I usually hide in my walk-in-wardrobe.


**In between i have done some mistakes and I have been someone else's mistake.

aha...


**and yes i am scared of triumph of time over love. but then its our maturity which will balance it .

true. I think whatever meant to happen will happen. And time does not wait for us but that does not mean we can hurry destiny.


Keshi.

Jim said...

Heyyyyy Keshi

SOUTH cheats too
he has a ting for UTTARA, the bootilicious one

southpaw said...

I think u didn't get what i meant to say, anyways like u said thanks, u r welcome!
Good day!

Jim said...

LOVE in the morning
LOVE in the evening
LOVE at supper time


SHUCKS!
dis guy sure is horny

Keshi said...

dumbdodi hows u sweety?

**to strike a comparision its like being under pressure for not being size 6-8...

true...


**then honey there are failures in everything..but going by the failures around you one can't stop living.....

thats true too. but I myself have failed 4 times b4...I dun regret loving someone but it has failed.


**And one always has a choice...if something does go awfully wrong..there is always a way out...

hope so...


**do you think honestly you are governed by them as of now...

nope Im not. I dun give a damn abt society but I do respect my culture. So thats why I cant live together with a man. I'd have to be married to test waters and that can be a big blunder.


**And Kesh one has to give a part of themselves or 'FREEDOM' if you choose to call it that.

Given it many times b4..and failed terribly. But Im a winner in terms of having loved someone with all my heart n soul. Cos I think only very few ppl can love that way.


**In any relationship we get tied and there are obligations but mostly if we love that kith or kin of ours obligations don't seem obligatory..

true...


**also it doesn't hold true just for you...your partner will have awful lot to give to you..and awful lot of 'FREEDOM' to lose as well dear

Im sure! he'd actually cry alot lol!


**The bottom line is 'ONE CANT HAVE THE CAKE AND EAT IT TOO'....and the choice is yours and yours alone

sure I know that. But I really never u'stood that proverb in the first place. Cos u buy/make a cake to eat dun u? :)


**Your happily married friend
Radhika :-)

thats great sweety! Im so glad I have one more friend who's HAPPILY married. Gives me hope :)HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

WW heyyya!


**You're clearly scared of being hurt, because you still hurt from before.

mebbe...I have been hurt 4 times b4...


**In North America, the divorce rates are at about 50 per cent. That is shocking, but it's true.

that itself shows that alot of ppl take marriage for granted...and that after marriage love seems to vanish.


**Once burned, twice shy...that appears to be what's happening to you, and I can relate.

4 times burned, 4 million times shy :)


**You say how much you want to be kissed, etc., but your whole issue is about all the other stuff that eventually comes with it...commitment, etc.

true...I wanna kiss w.o. committment...how would that feel? I mean so far a kiss has been in the hope of being married some day...how would a kiss w.o. that hope feel? I dunno.


**She was and is crazy about me, but fear and reality gripped me and wouldn't let go.

awwwwww...


**The last time she was here, I broke it off and told her I just didn't feel the same intensity towards her that she had for me.

really? omg thats so hard to do but Im glad u were honest with her.


**I DON'T think she was or is right for me, but then I've got a lot of fear playing as a motivator in there too...

I can u'stand ya...


**but also that I didn't feel that same magic for her that I felt for another woman...

WW but u should never compare...Im saying this cos I have done the same mistake..I always compare a past BF and trust me no 2 ppl r ever gonna make u feel the same way...I mean the feelings/magic whatever u feel will never be the same for 2 different ppl.


**I didn't want that relationship to end and it did and I haven't really been the same since then.

thats sad...


**I've gone out with lots of women and had plenty of opportunities to get into a deep relationship, but usually I've been the one to end those.

it kind of makes u feel u had the power until someone else ended it right?


**so I'm ultra careful and, yes, I'm very picky at this point.

good for u...


**But it sounds to me like your concerens are more driven by fear.

im not sacred to love...but Im scared of being hurt...


**And until that fear leaves your heart (remember the old Bee Gees tune, How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?) you won't be ready to let someone in like that.

true...I love that song btw.


**So your individuality and safety are preserved, but then you miss out on the true closeness you seem to really want.

thats right...I feel so lonely sometimes...


**Yeah, you're not being hurt because you're not allowing yourself to get into a situation where you CAN be hurt.

hmmm food for thought indeed!


**but then standing so far away from the blaze (so as not to get burned) that you can't feel its warmth --

yeah but is my only reason for being on Earth to have a man?


**When you do that, and when you say consciously you're going to do that, you'll start feeling alive.

well I think I'll try :)

tnxx alot for all the great advice mate! And u tc too ok?? HUGGGGGGGGGZ!

----------------------------------

Johnner heyyy ;-)


----------------------------------

Niki mwahhhhhhhh!

I do miss kissing...cos Im a hell of a kisser lol!

**i dont like kissing :P
prefer virtual love these days.

OMG nooooooo! How can u not like kissing Niki? awwwwwww it may be cos ur last man was a bad kisser? lol!


----------------------------------

Jeevan heyyy!

**"I'm dying to kiss!" awe the last Para was very sweet dear.

lol!


**Wish u will get an understandable Lover and Hubby;)) like to play like kids" hum its lovely.

hehe...I wonder if there's any man out there who thinks Im not crazy now :(

tnxxx Jeevan!

----------------------------------

Desperado u bring out some great lyrics..how beautiful! I'd def listen to that song...tnxxx!


**so when the time is right
come to me sweetly, come to me
come to me

r ya calling me to u? ;-)


**we are lost 'til we are found
this phoenix rises up from the ground
and all these wars are over

truly amazing lyrics! WOW!


----------------------------------

Margieeeeeeee mwahhhhhh!

U know wut....whenever I see u here and read ur words, I feel so loved...I feel I have a sis here for who's always wishing me well and wanting me to happy...isnt that such a beautiful feeling! Margie even tho we have never met in real, Im forever thankful to for givin me that feeling of love and appreciation. I never really got that in real life. I LOVE U so much!


**Anyway, it is the middle of the night there, and I hope you are having beautiful dreams.

I did have dreams..but Im not sure if they were beautiful - mebbe some silly dreams hehehe.


**but you can be so much happier in love!

I was happier when I was in a r'ship...but on a different level I was miserable too...mebbe cos that was not right. I guess few moments of true love is good enough than a lifetime of trying to establish one. u know wut I mean.


**I wish I had a magic wand, and I would weave a spell of magic that you would never be sad again.

how sweeeeeeeeeet! U already have a magic wand - YOUR HEART.


**But if you do not trust you will
not allow love to come to you.

true...


**Then one day...I was awoken by the most beautiful sunrise...

so beautiful...Im glad u took that step.


**and 3 months after that day... I met the love of my life!
And, I have been in love ever since.

Lovely!


**You have to be able to trust in love before it will come to you!

I do trust love Margie...I do...but Im not sure that if the men I meet have the strength of character not to break that trust. I guess I gotta trust anyways :)


**Do not let all the horror stories about love gone bad scare you! It does not have to be that way!

aha..


**I hope all this rambling might have given you just a little encouragement!

u always encourage me...I love reading ur thoughts. ty Margie!


**I want only the best for you!

ur such a loving soul. HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

----------------------------------

Pallavi great to know u share similar thoughts :)

----------------------------------

WC The_Old_Lady!


**What do you regret most in your life the things you did or the things you didnt.I regret the things i didn't do.

true...but there r certain things u can do, u cant do and possibly wont do. We really cant try out EVERYTHING we want to, can we?


**What if i had go on the date, taken that job.How would my life be different.

true u'd never know...but had u done those, u wouldnt have done the other things u wud have by now...u know what I mean.


**But if you find someone to love then i would consider it.

definitely!


**Maybe you won't stay in love forever.But wouldn't you like to feel that complete love even for a short time.

Spot on! Thats what I mean. I have felt that love b4. And since I didnt take it to marriage level, it left a great memory in my life. At the same time I have been hurt b4...many times...by trying to take it to the next step.


**Saby sent me over by the way
http://pinklady.typepad.com/

awwww...'d visit u soon. TY for ur great advice. MWAHHH!

----------------------------------


Cherrypie heyyyy!

**Keep running. Until you find one that catches up with you and overtakes you.

good one :) tnxxx!


**Buy good trainers in the meantime

I have many...in the process of buying another new pair ;-)


----------------------------------

s0ulasylum glad u like the sonng too sweety :)


**u've just spoken on behalf of all of us 20 somethg independent- living for ourselves, gals out there!

hehe mah pleasure.


**some of us are even leading u ... thr thr.. look ahead.. u see tht nose ringed gal.. thts me..

ROFL cute! lead me then...I'd love to follow u :)


**i guess if guys are allowed to have commitment issues and are branded 'out-of-planet' and 'whacko' on wanting to commit and also get away with it, i think we're allowed at least this much in our brains..

hahahaha true! I guess the women r taking their revenge now :):)


**altho the point being.. its easier read in books and watched on celluloid than it happenin in real.. :( ..

na sweety...it happens many times in real life. Read Bev's comment up there. Alot of ppl have sweet romances that perhaps last not more than a couple of days. Those r the best unconditional romances ever I guess. Those r'ships that have no label.


**yup. im goin right ahead n bringin destiny in (im a hopeless romantic, shoot me pls!:).. )

LOL nooooooooooo dun tell me that....:):)


**and if you have to think to make a decision, its never meant to be, even as a frivolous relationship..

spot on! thats soooooo true. Thats what I mean too. Alot of ppl think, try out, check, test their partners to see if they r 'right' for them..but do we even have to do that in LOVE?

ty sweety hugggggggggggz U JUST ROCK!

---------------------------------

WC Individualist!


**I think, when instead of loving because you are in love with love, if you love because you are in love with the person, you will be a lot less confused.

probably! but u know why I just fell i n love with love? cos falling in love with a man got me in deep waters.


**And yes. Indian culture is not synonymous with 'adjusting' wives anymore.

Im glad abt that. Women have to have rights too.


**And 'marriage', like one fellow blogger says, is not a necessity in one's life.

its not a necesiity indeed..thats what I always said too. But coming from a Sri Lankan family, Im not gonna be able to live together with a man either.


**Love seems to turn into an obligation once you get married? Am curious. Would you like to elucidate on that? :)

ok take for an example my aunt n uncle...thet fell in LOVE and got married. After few months of their fairy-tale marriage, they started fighting over who should be doing what (obligations) etc etc...later on they never even spoke to each other for years...they somehow put up with each other (obligaions again)...had kids (another obligation of being a couple)...went on for years w.o. a divorce (obligation #10,000) etc etc. Now they r in their 50s and 60s...still fighting. Where is that initial LOVE?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Heyyy Saffy dolly, lol @Saby!

**You know, if you become an actress, stage or TV, then you can experience all these (and more) without too much emotions attached

so u mean it's only in the movies....sigghhhhhh :(

----------------------------------

Tarun lol but lets hope I dun become a runaway 'bride' :):)

how have u been?


-----------------------------------

Southy heyyy hows u? :)

na na I got wut u meant....u said not to be confused this way and it's unnecessary. And wut I was saying was that Im not sure if it's 'unnecessary' confusuion looking at the the things that has happened in my life...


---------------------------------

Jim I know Southy likes Uttsy but he's not a cheat...they r good friends.

Ur the biggest cheat on this planet..I really pity ur wife LOL!


Keshi.

southpaw said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Keshi said...

Southy I know u have been thru hell and bakk. Even more pain than I have been thru. I admire ur courage and strength and Im really proud of u for where u r today. U've done well. HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!

Nothing's stopping me Southy...just that somethings need to be stopped by me b4 they stop me.


Keshi.

Jim said...

dis guy sure gott balls of steel
me too


they were plastic once though

Jim said...

Nothing's stopping me Southy...just that somethings need to be stopped by me b4 they stop me.



shucks
i sure wish she wud speak english or hindi or greek


i cant understand a word of austrayalayan

and i hate VEST

Jim said...

Keshi... open up your heart to the idea of love... and trust in it!
You have to be able to trust in love before it will come to you!


yes Margie
i been lucky too

the second time

saby said...

Oh Shucks
SOUTH just lost his balls of steel

starry nights said...

Dearest Keshi..dont know where to start. First of all I dont think you need to be scared of getting into a serious relationship.I know when you lok around at unhappy marriages you ask yourself why should I put myself through that, when I am really happy right now.All marriages are not like that.In any marriage just as in any relationship you have to work at it. there has to be a compromise and a give and take between two people. And never go into a marriage thinking you can change your partners thinking, because you never can.sometimes you have to accept the person and try to work around it.We were so much in love when we got married. we got married against all odds,had some really hard times trying to live with one another, there were constant fights but deep down the only thing that made me stay with him was my love.As you grow older and after a few years of being together it started to get better, even though we still do have our squabbles, we truly love each other and cannot live without the other, I would do this all over again, it is worth it. You will make someone a beautiful and smart and sensitive wife.

Anonymous said...

Awww what a sweet post Kesh ^_^ well, u dun have to run anymore when u met Mr.Right, u'll be freezed for sure :P right there, that moment ^_^ and im waitin' to hear a story like that from u awww ^_^ sooon!

Well, marriage is not always a bed roses, like any relationship theres ups and downs and i think thats part of it.Its just a matter of understanding from both sides. Long years of marriage quite changed the feelin', i mean love is there but the excitement before marriage were gone ;)bcoz of routine things we do. So u need to work for it too like doing the same thing before...go on date, go to movie together or just a walk in the park sometimes... anything that can back the old sweet days ^_^ im a sweet person so i dun have problem w/ it *wink*

goodluck for ya... dun rush ^_^ enjoy single days hehe!...

had lunch?
... oops im scrappin' w/ uttsy on orkut and how we wish u were there too w/ us, its gonna be more fun na ^_^ aww i know u dun have that free time now sweetie..its ok, we love u muaahhh! TC...have a nice day!

hugsss**

Anonymous said...

Free is Good...

And when did men start starting any games? I thought that was the province of female of the species...

Oh, forgot to ask, "one/many of my frind(s)" is approved code for disclosing private info without disclosing it officially, right?

southpaw said...

@Saby
The balls are of genuine steel thats why they realised that everyone has their own identity and mode of thinking and implimentation and maybe thats why i hv developed some tolerance to ur silly jokes as well.

Kautilya said...

Well...
Good things take time 2 come by... when they do kknock on ya door...
make sure.. to hold em for ever!

saby said...

dis is getting more ushy than Gen Mush

we need a break ....

Do You Need a Second Opinion?

A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and calls home.

She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"

Sponsors (article continues below)


She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?" Shouts the doctor.

"Getting a second opinion!"

Pleasing Impossibilities

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

Don't Make the Wife Mad

A man left from work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.

When He finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

saby said...

i sure hope dat tolerance holds SOUTH

i hate to be in the ring with u
even with u wearing gloves

southpaw said...

The wheel of justice has started moving n the right direction...

http://rockybalboa752001.blogspot.com/2006/09/alright-now-some-update-on-late.html

southpaw said...

@Saby
Ha ha ha, alright i'll fight with one hand...

La vida Loca said...

Keshi..it is perfectly normal to feel the way you do ..went thru a similar thing....Ok I think I'll writ a blog about this by the weekend

uttara said...

u gotto change then

:)

Keshi said...

Jim ok lol!


----------------------------------

Starry thanks so much for ur wonderful and caring advice. I really appreciate it.

** And never go into a marriage thinking you can change your partners thinking, because you never can.

omg I so know that :) I never try to change ppl...I cant do that and I know others cant do that to me either.

I think u r very lucky Starry...that u have found ur soul-mate. HUGGGGGGGGZ n all the best to both of ya!


----------------------------------

Kath n Uttys orkutting? awwwwwwww SNIFFFERZZZZZZ :*(

I know ur the sweetest gal ever so how can ur hubby ever get bpred of ya? :)


** i mean love is there but the excitement before marriage were gone

that happens in any situation...cos now Im not all that excited abt my Mr.Nokia either :):)

yes u gotta work on a r'ship...I think Im dreaming when I say I need an effortless r'ship...

Anyways ty n tc sweety!


----------------------------------

Fleiger hello!

**thought that was the province of female of the species...

hehe na we got those germs from men :):)

I didnt get that last Qn??

----------------------------------

Kautilya ur right :) tnxxx!


----------------------------------

Saby n South having fun ha :) GOOOD.


----------------------------------

LaVidaLoca that wud b great ty sweety huggggggggggz!



Keshi.

Die Muräne said...

That's a good idea Keshi:
RUN! ;)

Keshi said...

can I run with ya Murane? :):)

Keshi.

desperado said...

*r ya calling me to u? ;-)*
....wht else were u thinking...i think i knw d art to repair d broken hearts ;)

take care dear and live life just like you do...dancing with letting ur hair loose at d tunes of life...

desperado said...

well download d song Dolphins Cry from here:

http://rapidshare.de/files/34725466/Live_-_Dolphin_s_Cry_PROMO_CDS_-_The_Dolphins_Cry.mp3.html

njoy d song

Within Without said...

Heya Kesh...

I started out relating some of my own stuff with the intent of it just to hopefully illustrate some of my points, didn't really mean for it to become an open confessional...

Anyway, I think one of the big issues with anything like this is expectations. What do you want as opposed to what he might want?

And vice-versa, in my case or any guy's case?

No, your whole purpose to be on the planet isn't just to love a man, it's not a completely all-or-nothing proposition.

You still have to be yourself but we're built to seek out and love someone. We all need that.

So that's a driving force for you and for me and for everyone. But what's the context at any one time?

The mindset, the heart's desires and needs? The timing has to be right. And it depends on what's happened in the past.

And what fears are there, like I said. You said you've been hurt four times before. That's a lot. If it's been four in a row, all bad experiences...what has gone on there?

Did you pick the wrong guys, was it just circumstance, were you expecting too much, putting too much emphasis on a certain thing?

I don't think there's much any of us can do to quell the fires within us. When the need to be with someone overcomes the fear of being hurt by someone, you'll go for it again.

But then when that happens, maybe don't place all the weight of the world on the outcome.

Hope this helps...

Anthony Arojojoye said...

Wake up Keshi. You are having a bad dream.

Within Without said...

Oh yeah, Kesh, I forgot to respond to one other thing (and you don't need to post this or respond to it, necessarily)...

Your point about not COMPARING one woman to the next is valid. But comparing the FEELING you get with one person as opposed to another is what I'm talking about.

The intensity of that feeling, more precisely. I dunno what it was about this one woman that absolutely drove me crazy about her, almost too crazy...I had never felt that before and still haven't since.

So now I'm trying to achieve a balance, and that's hard to find. You and I are different. Of course we're considerably different in age but also in experience or at least stages of life.

You're still looking for your No. 1 that you hope to spend a lifetime with (I hope I'm not misjudging that that's what you're looking for) while I've been there, done that.

Now I'm looking for something very special but not quite in the same way and with not the same kinds of expectations.

Dat's all, Baby!

Dalicia said...

well it's complicated..best not to think so much about it. not the first and the last time that it will happen to anyone!

SamY said...

** true but thats what marriage is...surely thats not what love is??

yeah ... lurve is infinite ... but tell me this ... would you be comfy being in love with a guy for whome ur just one amongst the many gals he loves?

** so ur guarding, tightening, securing, fencing love here? how can love be secured that way?

well one can try grazing, but u dun get a satisfaction nor do such relationships last :( ... unless ur fine with everything being casuall

when pp r young they r incited to graze, sounds exciting ... as ppl get old n reality bites they prefer being commited ... there will be a point when u'll want someone to claim that you r his ... n u claiming him urs ... hideous as it may sound now, life drives most ppl into that :)

** Im not saying marriage should not be there at all. Maybe it should - for ppl who seek 'security'.

think I missed to qualify as indescriminate grazing :). if a r'ship doesn't work it is better to move on. but if haphazard it usually destroys an individual

** lol and he must have been like lil Samy? awwww....



** ROFL! have u been inside a coffin? lol!

NO :-o, but I am very claustrophobic

** Im sure God has a beautiful girl for Samy somewhere out there

hope ... the quintessential human delusion ... our greatest strenth n simultaneous our greatest weakness :D

thnx kitten ... I so wish to know her ... lemme know if u find a crystal ball ;)

Kavi said...

Well written ! Capturing the many dimensions of life. Commitment, to many is always a big thing !

As i was reading your post, a maxim at work stood out stark, making it a must share with you. "Not taking any risk is the biggest of all risks" !

I guess it is important to take it one step a time, and not think too long into the future. Things have a way of working out !

niki yokota said...

so very true!! he didnt like kissing (^o^);;;

Twisted DNA said...

Keshi, it's very interesting to know about you, little by little through these posts.

I agree with you that there are a lot of couples who are living together just because they don't want to go through the hassle of separation.

I believe that people have very strong instinct for love. I am sure when you meet the right guy, you won't let him go. In the meanwhile, enjoy the fun of dating

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SaffronSaris said...

Poppy doll-pearl, enjoy your break, and come back soon :D

Ghost Particle said...

ok this post scared me. But then again i go into millions of chaotic thoughts thinking of the future. There is never a posibility of getting the perfect soul mate, even a near perfect one. Even if we get an understanding one, the person probably would be miles of the mark in things that we want to do because unknowingly we will stray from our goals slowly to accomodate that person. Strange.

Orikinla Osinachi. said...

Saby,
Those your references are lessons for life.

But, men are hardly losers.

Every unfaithful wife is the scorn of the community. But an unfaithful man could even be praised for his virility.

God bless.

Keshi said...

Desperado tnxxx!

** think i knw d art to repair d broken hearts

lol tell me how then...



-----------------------------------

WW u make perfect sense! I'm learning soooo much from ur wise comments. tnxxxxx alot!

**You still have to be yourself but we're built to seek out and love someone. We all need that.

so true!

And I know wut u mean by comparing the FEELING. Thats so true. Cos the intensity wont be the same.

Im not looking for my PERFECT NO.1...cos I dun think there's anyone who's perfect or no.1. Together we have to achieve that for ourselves.

tnxxx mate n good luck! HUGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

Anthony tnxxx I better wake-up b4 its too late :)


-----------------------------------

Elaine tnxxx hun I know wut u mean.


-----------------------------------

Samy heyyy!

**as ppl get old n reality bites they prefer being commited

I understand that but does that committment have to be in 'marriage' form?

Keshi reads into the crustal ball and sees a beauitful Indian chick living close to Samy's house...:)


-----------------------------------


Kavi tnxxx! Things do have a way of working out..thats so true.

**Not taking any risk is the biggest of all risks"

Spot on TY!

-----------------------------------

Niki heyyy!


**he didnt like kissing

so wut did he do then? LOL!


-----------------------------------

Twisted_DNA howdy?

**I believe that people have very strong instinct for love.

very true! And when that happens I dun think u need something called marriage to 'secure' it. Marriage is society-induced, Love isnt.

-----------------------------------


Carolina WC n ty!

-----------------------------------

Saffy ty hugggggggggggggz!


-----------------------------------

Ghosty will u marry me then? :) lol Im kidding!


**Even if we get an understanding one, the person probably would be miles of the mark in things that we want to do because unknowingly we will stray from our goals slowly to accomodate that person

thats so darn true. Isnt that strange!


-----------------------------------

Ori heyyy!

** But an unfaithful man could even be praised for his virility.

thats soo true! How unfair.



Keshi.

* The Cynical Consultant said...

aha..!
So that explains it.
I know someone who thinks similiar, and i think i can understand her better now. tks.

White Magpie said...

People stay stuck in the relationship cuz they were too chicken in the first place to say "NO" to get married. I say even if you have a teeny weeny % of doubt before getting married, STOP.

Another thingy, why do you have to think in terms of marriage for a relationship? If that happens, well and good but don't think in that context consciously. Enjoy the romance for what it is.

And know what? It's really not possible for us to know why that particular person is staying in the relationship even tho it seems dead from outside. We will never know the complexities and intricacies of other relationships. Everyone has a reason. A lot are chicken yes but a lot are not too.

Keshi said...

Cynical WC n tnxxx! Glad ur enlightened now :)


-----------------------------------

White_Magpie tnxxx! ur comment made perfect sense.

**I say even if you have a teeny weeny % of doubt before getting married, STOP

So true. I wish I could say this to my cuz who's abt to get married...they r fighting all the time but the wedding date is set for end of this month!


Keshi.

Known Stranger said...

you raise a point in a way i think. Hmm nice for first time i read others comments in your page.

interesting subject of posting. I am no married guy to give a opinion . You need opinion from married men so i keep quite

Keshi said...

lol KS yes tnxxx!

Keshi.