Take A Load Off

Guys what do you do when you hurt someone? And if someone else hurt you, how do you forgive that person? It's hard isnt it. Most of the time you just can't take away the hurt caused cos the other person is not willing to understand/forgive you. Sometimes it's hard cos nothing you do would really take away the hurt (maybe the hurt caused was too big). What do you do then? As much as others have hurt me in many different ways in my life, I'm not afraid to admit that I have hurt others too. That makes me human but surely it doesn't give me an excuse to continue doing so. We all hurt each other (intentionally or not) but we must always learn lessons from each of our mistakes in life, so that we don't cause the same kind of hurt again. And when we do hurt someone, what's important is to realise that we were in the wrong. Alot of people go on trying to defend themselves even when they were the ones who caused the hurt. I have done that too. But later on I have realised that I was wrong - and that realisation is very important. We get carried away with our ego/pride that we don't want to admit we are wrong, even if we were truly wrong. Ok why all of this on Mon morning? Cos I lost it with my mum last night and we had a small argument. So I switched off theTV, stormed out of the living room and went to bed straight away. That was my way of dealing with it. And I usually don't go to bed like that - cos me and my mum are like best friends and we chat for a long time every night before going to sleep. So last night I couldnt sleep at all. And why couldn't I sleep? Cos I WAS WRONG and it felt like I was a whole lot heavier than usual! And I shouldn't have gone to bed without making up with her. I was feeling very uncomfortable cos I was thinking what if something happened to my mum tonite and I never got to say Sorry! I know that's extreme worrying but you never know right? So I wanted to get up and go to her bed and give her a hug - I looked at the clock it was 1am and I know my mum would kill me if I go disturb her then hehe. So I didn't. I whispered a little prayer and went back to sleep. This morning when I woke up in a hurry, I ran to her as she was doing something in the kitchen, I hugged her from behind and I said 'Mum I'm really sorry for behaving that way last night!'. She was smiling and saying 'I know your silly temper, go now and get ready for work'. I had tears in my eyes. Aren't mothers always so forgiving? So why can't we forgive our friends this way too? Mostly forgive ourselves too. I know it all depends on the nature and the size of the hurt but if mums can always forgive their kids, why can't we have that kind of heart too? Saying Sorry and Forgiving...both has to be genuine though. It has to work both ways or your burden won't be taken away from both sides. Say Sorry for lies and see how bad you'd still feel. Also Forgive for lies and see how bad you'd still feel. Last night I was genuinely Sorry and I know that my mum genuinely Forgave me too. And that's why I'm so happy and feel relieved this morning. They say it's easier to forgive than to forget. That's true. But I think if you genuinely feel Sorry and the other person can genuinely Forgive, then it's easier to forget too. Why carry a load when you can take it off by saying Sorry and Forgiving each other? I know of people who are angry for years with each other over silly matters. It's crazy or what! Apparently long-term baggage can lead to heart disease and other physical illnesses. Now do you want that? No one wants that so why put yourself through trauma like that? Now I know it's not thaaaat easy to say sorry/forgive, but then think about it this way. Do you want to carry that kind of guilt/anger/hurt for so long even at the risk of your health? Do you want to carry that kind of guilt/anger/hurt to your grave? if you or the other person die before you could reconcile, what have you achieved? Chances are the other person is hurt as much as you are too. Everybody hurts, so let's realise that first.

Imagine carrying a heavy backpack on your back for life? How stressed you'd be and how badly would that load affect your health both in and out. By saying Sorry and Forgiving each other, trust me you'd feel like that massive backpack is taken off your back. That helps your body and mind to relax and as a result you'd be healthy too, so will be the other person. So folks, ring up that friend you hadn't spoken for a long time even if she/he may be the one who should ring you. Send a 'I'm really sorry' card to the person you hurt last week. Buy some flowers on the way home tonite to say how you feel about a loved-one at home. Give a hug. Take someone out for dinner if you feel she/he needs to be shown how you feel. And if you didn't get a chance at all to say sorry to/forgive that someone who's not alive anymore, say a little prayer and do something special in her/his memory today. Folks say your dues today. The wait is a weight.

BTW guys I saw REM perform this song LIVE when they were in Sydney couple of years ago. I was at the concert. It's an amazing song and they are an amazing band. Enjoy!

Current Music: Everybody Hurts by REM