Friday, March 31


Let's have some weekend fun folks! Name the HOTTEST bloggers (male/female) and the reasons why. (Please write down their site addresses).

This is not to get any glory but to realise how different each of us perceive blogging/bloggers in our own special ways, to get an understanding of how we view each other, and also to get to know some great new bloggers out there that I/we haven't visited yet.

My list will be ALL of you and I will give you the reason WHY respectively after each of your comments.

Apart from ALL of you hot males and females ;-)
Linny is one HOT blogger I simply love reading and I'm sure most of you don't know her - she's not a regular in my blog. Why do I think she's a HOT female blogger, well she writes humorous posts that very well relate to many of us single girls. She writes in a simple and straightfoward style, without any preaching (unlike me :), and she really reaches many of us through her ordinary yet highly interesting posts. She also has a skill to use the right words to express the exact feelings that we are feeling and I think that's a rare. And she has great wit to go with it all! Have a read of Linny when you have time.

Ok now list me your favorites folks!

Wednesday, March 29

Hello, I exist!

There are some people who really need to read this post but they may not be bloggers, unfortunately! Anyways I write this post wishing that one sun-shiny day they will tumble upon my blog and read this, hopefully realising how much of a booty-pain they were to me. Have you come across people who don't give a damn about someone else's existence? People who think that they are the only ones who breathe around (leaving aside the huge breaths of moronology)? Well surprise surprise, I have come across many such dudes and have been the royal victim of their gigantic existences many a times. Few incidents are listed below for your pleasurable reading:

***One day I was walking down the street when this lady was coming down towards me. She was walking in front of me and had absolutely no sense whatsoever that I was in front of her too (no she wasn't blind). I mean does it take such a long time and alot of grey matter to realise that someone else is walking in the opposite direction in front of you and that you would have to move over a little bit to share the pathway? She saw me, oh yes but she wasn't moving anywhere, in your dreams hunny! I was moving alright but I didnt's have much room onto my left and she wasn't that lean either. Anyways she walked past me as if I never existed and yeah she brushed (rather bashed me) with her giant elbow that I nearly hit the shop window on my left. I guess she never knew others walk down the streets too or perhaps she was in a dizzy spell somewhere in Madagascar where there's lots of space?

***Another time...another day. Well I was in this Cafe ordering cofffee, and this guy comes in laughing so loud, so loud that the whole cafe started to look at him wondering what's wrong with him. Well he came and stood behind me (with his mate) in the queue still laughing his jocks off, and I really coudn't bear it anymore I thought of leaving the cafe. But I so wanted to have a coffee yet this guy was irritating me cos it was so LOUD that even the Kookaburras would have put their head-phones on. Then I turned around and gave him a 'Are-you-ok-man-or-do-you-need-to-be-admitted-into-a-mental-hospital?' kind of stare and he still didn't get it, cos he looked at me and started that laugh again. I guess it must have been a good joke but he certainly wasn't the only one around the coffee shop who was going mental that day.

***Then there are marketing calls that I receive on a daily basis, I just wonder where they employ these nagging people from. They are so rude and don't let me say what I want to say rather they choose to decide for me! One day my phone rang and as soon as I picked it up, she addressed me by a shortened form of my real name, like she knew me all her life - and this was a person I have never met, never spoken to and probably never will in my entire life. And she said that she was from a phone company and that she wanted to know if I'm interested in reducing my overseas phone bills, cos they had some fabulous cheap network etc. Fair enough but I immediately said that I wasnt interested and that I had to go now. She wouldnt listen to me and she said 'Maam why are you not interested in reducing your phone bills?'. I said 'Cos Im just not, can I go now?'...and she goes 'That's strange that you don't want to reduce your bills, how come?'...I said 'I love to pay high bills and that's just the way it is' and I hung up.

***Don't you hate it when a 3rd person interrupts you when you're talking to someone? Well one day I was talking to my cousin and this other guy comes baaaang right in the middle and utters something totally irrelevant. I was so angry that I just stopped talking and my cousin sort of got it but yeah he was answering this other guy too WTH! Maybe he was bored with what I was saying but Iit really drives me up the walls when people have no manners whatsoever and come crashing down in the middle of a conversation as if nothing and nobody else exists other than themselves. So I told him so and he goes 'oh c'mon Keshi you know me duncha sweety...?'...jeeeeeez next time I see him from afar, I will stop talking altogether, how about for the whole day?

***The other day I was on the train and these 2 Asian people were talking so loud that I thought they were having a fight. I seriously thought that someone needs to go over to them and help them make peace but I never thought I could be so wrong. Cos the next minute they were laughing (loud ofcourse) and even then I was thinking that probably they were laughing out of their frustration at each other (cos it sounded like evil laughs - muahhahahaha kind). But the next minute the speech tones got really violent and loud again. So I told my friend that may be we should ask what's wrong and he was laughing at me (cos he is Asian too). He told me that they were just talking happily. Whaaaaat, in that tone? I'll settle with the hope that I must be blonde.

***Last Sat I was shopping and then I met one of my mum's Indian friends. She suddenly stopped on tracks and started talking to me whereas I was really in a hurry. Seems like she didnt realise that even though I told her so, and she was going on and on about her son, her husband, her laundry, her cooking, her dinner party, her okra, her sarees, her aunty's son, her sister's brother-in-law's daughter's wedding etc etc...I was fainting at this stage and never before have I hoped so much for a phone call so I could just excuse myself and leave. No such luck so I ended up having coffee with her woohoo. I was in a trance all the while.

***Most of you know that I fired my Driving Instructor cos of bad breath. Well the fact that he had such a terrible and strong breath almost got me killed on the wheel (no not by some car accident) but by his breath alone. Whenever he opened his mouth to say something I had to hold my breath just so that I wont go into a micro-sleep and crash into someone else's car. I so wished that I could tell him that there is a dental disease calle Gingivitis in this world..but me being so kind, I just couldnt tell him so I went home, rang up the Learner school and told them that he was weird. So they sent me someone else the next day, clean-breath and all, thank God! Yeah I know God drives around too and probably knew I was dealing with a weapon of mass destruction.

People need to realise that there are others around too...yeah we exist too, so be cooperative please...share public property, speak softly, don't force yourself upon others, don't interrupt rudely, understand that someone may be in a rush, have a daily shower instead of killing your train-mates, brush your teeth often and if that doesnt help get some Listerine lol! Basically be kind and courteous to others around you and be AWARE :)

Monday, March 27

On the sofa with me...

Thanks all for you support in trying to find Janice. I hope we will hear from someone soon. Till then I have my fingers crossed that she and her baby are well. This is a holler sent out to all of you to keep your friends updated on what's happening with you. Atleast keep one friend informed. I know that it should not be an obligation but there are some of us who care and worry about you. Anyways, I hope Janice is keeping well wherever she is and let's hope we will hear from her soon.

Today's post is going to be quite laid back..I thought that I
need a breather and u guys too, from all my heavy posts. So lets answer some silly personal questions..hehe...

1.What time of the day is it at your end right now? Sydney 2:30pm...
2.What did you last eat? A Tuna sandwich...
3.What are you wearing right now (hopefully you're wearing something ahemm)? White crop-shirt and dark brown tight skirt with low-heeled shoes...
4.What was your weekend like? Pretty much Janice-in-my-mind and temple...
5.Did you sleep well last night? No...I was turning and tossing like a maniac when I realised my quilt was on the floor and I was in some strange position...
6.What's your favorite time of the day? Shower the soaps, gels and body-stuff in my shower...
7.Who did you last kiss? My little 4yr old niece yesterday...
8.Did you see any cute guy/gal today? Yes on the train...too bad it never gets past just that stage...
9.When did you last speak to your mum/dad? Just now on her mobile...
10.When did you last have an argument and have you patched up? I think it was weeks ago...and yeah I patched up with him...
11.Who/what cant you live without right now? My mum and my self-confidence...
12.Are you in love right now? Yes, with so many cute guys..on a serious note Im in lust duhh!
13.If you met me in real, what would be your first expression? If I met you, I'd give you a hug...would u mind?
14.Have you ever loved someone who's already taken? Nope never...
15.If I came over to your place, what would you do? I would take you to the beach near my home and have coffee with ya, yakking away ofcourse...
16.How do you watch TV? On the sofa, with my legs up on the coffee table...
17.What do you need right now? A good massage...
18.What's your favorite sense? Smell and touch...
19.Where would be the the ideal spot to be with someone you love? Spain...
20.What's closest to your bed? My Closet door that I keep closed 'cos Im afraid of ghosts...boooo!

yeah boring I know but it's your turn to answer get on with it mates!

Thursday, March 23

Looking for Janice...

I miss Janice (Pic of Janice on the LEFT) so much that I want to cry right now. Janice is a sweet girl I met on IndiaTimes chat a long time ago and we became friends instantly. She liked me for my kick-ass attitude...that's exactly what she told me and I still remember her giggles and warmth. Then she got married to a guy called Chris in India and then they both left to the US - that's what she told me. And even from the US she used to keep in touch with us and also started blogging regularly. She is such a crazy girl and she always put a smile on my face by her most famous word 'DUMBASS' which she often used on Saby and a little bit on me. Well she got pregnant and then she was going into labour in Dec 2005. Up until the end of Nov '05 she blogged and told us all about her pregnancy etc and then she left, promising us that she'll write us all about the good tidings of joy as soon as she gives birth. It's March 2006 now and no one has heard anything from her as yet. As I have no contact details of her's other than the blog and email, I don't know who to contact. And some anonymous person from her area in India had come to Saby's and my blogs and stated that Janice and baby died during childbirth! I refuse to believe that until I hear from one of her loved ones...and when is that going to be? Can someone please help me find Janice, cos I've been missing her alot and I want to make sure that she's ok. If anyone else here knows her please make an effort to find out if she's doing ok..that's all I need to know, that she and the baby are ok. I've been missing you Jan...
Maybe I didnt say
Maybe I did
What you are to me
Is a gentle touch
A beautiful soul
A never-ending story
And you shall live forever...

Tuesday, March 21

Unnamed Ships

Anthony: I love you Juliette. You know I do.
Let's just be this way then. I'm happy, 'cos I love you too.
I know our love is not shallow. I know it need not be defined by marriage.
Let's be with each other forever as long as we can. As long as we are alive.
Anthony hugs Juliette tight and starts to kiss her gently...

There was a serious decision made just then...some of you may have guessed it right. These 2 are lovers, yes deeply in love but for some reason they cannot marry each other. Maybe it's their families, circumstances or something else that's not allowing them to marry. However, both of them realise that they cannot part from each other...cos they truly love each other. And they are wise enough to realise that love doesn't always end in marriage and it doesnt have to. So they decide to stay that way and continue their relationship - I do not know how to name this kind of relationship, but I know it's beautiful, it's a divine union much more than just marriage, it's a love much more than what's in a courtship...

Some relationships are hard to define and difficult to name. Boyfriend, girlfriend, mother, son, husband, wife, father, daughter, sister, brother, friend, colleague, uncle, aunty, cousin are some relationships we already know of. But a relationship like the above cannot be named easily. It may even be considered unethical, not soically acceptable or even disgusting. Simply because it cannot be defined by a word in the social dictionary. Hence the amount of love and sacrifice involved in such a relationship is overlooked by many of us. Someone puts up a board saying that Marriage is the only way, so everyone goes by that board. The moment someone takes a different path, it's considered WRONG. Immoral it may look like, but can you love someone so deeply? Will you sacrifice your family, your culture, your future, just to be with the one you love even amidst society's mockery? Alot of people think that giving up their love for something else is the biggest sacrifice...but I think it's the other way around. It takes a true and brave heart to disregard the traditonal practices of society to be with the one he/she loves amidst society's scorn.

There are few divine relationships in this world that many won't understand and not every relationship can be defined by a word or two. And it really need not be defined to be accepted by the society. What is needed is the passion and all else will fall in place. The conventional way is not always the way. A ship doesn't need a name as long as it sails beautifully. Have you seen such other ships?

Wednesday, March 15

A Faithless Journey

I'm at a friend's place for lunch (she follows Jehovah's Witnesses and this gathering consisted of many of her so-called Kingdom Hall friends). One guy walks up to me and asks 'hey Keshi what is your Religion?'. I say 'I was brought up in a Buddhist and Hindu background, went to a Christian school, one of my best friends is a Muslim - so yeah, I respect all religions and I believe in living life in peace, not in a text book full of rules'. He looks at me and says 'oh but it's not good to worship statues and did u realise that India and Sri Lanka though they follow Buddhism/Hinduism, are 2 of the most violent countries in terms of hatred/war and bloodshed?'. I was surprised at his straight face and his wannabe-divine facial expressions as he blurted out that stupid sentence. I really did feel like zipping him up in a freezer bag and shipping him to Uranus, not because I was insulted by what he said (I don't get insulted by un-informed beings) but because I felt miserable about his rather severe cranium deficiency. Anyways, I didn't say anything to upset him but I did say smilingly 'you know what, it doesnt bother me what you believe in so why should it bother you what I believe in?', simply because I didnt even want to waste my breath on someone who had such a limited psyche. He just smiled and said 'Sorry'.....I think he got my message or did he, ummm who knows - if not now, then some day he will.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make any 'Religion' (personally I'm beginning to dislike that word) sound better/worse than mine. In real I have many friends of many different faiths - just like here in the blog world, and I have no problem in what they believe in as long as I can see good people in them. What I'm trying to say is that even though 'Religion' was initially created to put man on a purer path in life, it has now become quite the opposite. 'Cos it's 'Religion' that divides people and it's 'Religion' that makes people clash with each other, burn churches/temples, slam aeroplanes into buildings, drop bombs on innocent people and call it co-lateral damage, spark racial intolerance etc - yes it's 'Religion' that's become the purpose of violence now. The reason why the Jews are hated, the reason why some religions are divided within themselves, the reason for the Israeli-Palastenian conflict, the reason for the Pakistani-Indian clashes, the reason for Sri Lanka's ongoing Sinhala-Tamil war, the reason for US-Iraq wars, the reason for recent and sudden growth of fanatic Muslim extremists, the reason for Irish-English clashes etc etc my dear folks IS 'Religion'. The mere differences in 'Beliefs' can lead to so much damage in an individual, society and the whole world - how sad is that!

Think about this...we as human beings are prone to many problems in life. We can become victims of natural disasters, diseases and man. Therefore we can be victims of anything and anyone. That is a fact. Just beacuse your beliefs are different from mine, that doesn't give you the right to insult me, murder me or even burn down my entire community. People must realise that beliefs are just beliefs...and they are going to be hell of alot different from person to person. Your beliefs are a mixture of what you have been brought up to believe in and your own experiences. My beliefs are a mixture of what I was brought up to believe in and my own experiences. So you and I can never be in each others' shoes. Therefore someone else being 'different' doesnt mean you are right and the other is wrong. 'Religion' should be a way of should bring peace to you and's not only about praying infront of a is also about respecting another's should not harm other people and violate their rights to their beliefs. It should make you a better person in thought, word and deed, not a blood-thirsty criminal. It should make you enlightened in each possible way, not deteriorate you day by day. Most of all, it should make you more tolerant of other people and their beliefs that are different to your's. After all, if you cant tolerate someone else's 'beliefs', do you honestly think your 'Religion' has helped you or that you have helped your 'Religion'?

You may be a Buddhist, Hindu, Christian, Jain, Jehovah's Witness, Muslim may be trying hard to practise your faith perfectly according to whatever the leader of your faith has passed on to generations of it's followers. And I believe that no 'Religion' teaches you to kill or make a mockery out of others (not that I have heard of such religions).
But if you cant tolerate another person's faith or you harm people just 'cos they are different, then I reckon you haven't realised what faith is all about. Such people I believe have no faith whatsoever and are doing shame to their own so-called 'Religion'. 'Cos a 'Religion' should bring peace to you and others around you. So do justice to your faith...give others the freedom of peace and the peace of freedom.

Tuesday, March 14

The Cellular Album

Watercolor memories of a school uniform, a heavy bag and tennis-shoes...reminiscences of bus rides full of chatter and giggles...fading aroma of home-made lemon-cake and strawberry ice cream...distant sounds of splashes in the pool and screams of jolly times...fond recollections of daddy coming home with Christmas presents...a black and white slide-show of dancing stupid to Locomotion...heart-warming memoirs of cousins coming over for holidays...far-away blazes of collecting sea shells in the beach...graying flashes of taking puppy Ginger to the vet...blurred snapshots of 12hr train rides to Granma's place...flickering flashbacks of running around her backyard and throwing stones at juicy mangoes...a soothing re-capture of bathing from a natural well, full of pure and cool water...vague sparks of walking down to the little stream to watch the fishes...evoked instances of catching little red birds and chasing after yellow butterflies...a fading picture of drinking Granma's medicine and fainting creating panic...unclear visions of playing crazy in the paddy fields so green...far-away memories of Granma's smiles that filled my senses...slowly dissolving flashes of playing hopscotch and getting angry with friends...funny memoirs of getting together the next day and climbing trees...happy recollections of buying new books and shoes for a new term of school, feeling so excited...a dimming flicker of losing a tooth and throwing it to the old photo beaming toothless in a heavily-frilled dress...a distant flicker of a bunny-shaped birthday cake with pink wiggly candles...faded and stained photographs of people that used to be...of smiles worth more than the world...of pets that filled my lonely days...of moments that will never be again...of emotions that can never be replaced...of places I long to go back to but most likely wont...of times that I can recall but will never be able to live back in..of those precious flashes from the past so dear to my they remain in the priceless album called my do you remember?

Thursday, March 9

Object of my 'Addiction'

Ok let's 'crack' it folks ;-) We all have one or more addictions, no matter how much you try to deny it. Be it coffee (looks at Rohit.T:)), books, clothes, smoking, sleeping, music, TV, movies, boys (looks at Uttsy lol!), girls (looks at Saby - no 'lol' cos it's a serious addiction of his btw), drugs, alcohol, or even the Internet (looks at everyone lolz!). But these are few of the addictions we commonly know of. Wait till you see the rest. I did my homework about addictions before writing this post and was amazed to find out that there are some bizarre addictions out there! You may never have heard of them unless you yourself are a hopeless addict of any of the Addictions in the list below:

*People (so-called co-dependency)-The most common and under-recognized of all addictions, also the most powerful and the most dangerous.
*Compulsive overeating,Food addiction
*Self-mutilation,Hair pulling
*Narcissism,Body Dismorphic Disorder (BDD)-addiction to imagined or real defect in appearance.
*Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
*Exercise,Body building,Anabolic steroids
*Sex,Voyeurism,Pedophilia,Exhibitionism, etc.
*Gambling, Games
*Work, Hobbies

*Power-Military,Police, Politicians,Religious,cult and gang leaders,Correction and Probation officers,Gurus
*Theft,Vandalism,Con-men,Compulsive and impulsive lying,Image (phonies)
*Violence, Terror
*Religions,Cults,Superstitions,Self-help, Gangs
*Risk taking
*Internet addiction-a composite of people addiction, "Falling in love" addiction, Sex addiction, Risk addiction, and Hobby addiction
*Blogs (added by Keshi btw)

Phewww cant imagine someone being addicted to terror and violence - should offer them some Gloria Jeans coffee for a change. Being addicted to people is supposed to be dangerous 'cos apparently that's what happened in the Nicole Brown murder case (OJ Simpson trial). Now don't be so worried if you have any of the above addictions, 'cos apparently it isn't serious unless it dominates your daily life and you are powerless to stop the chaos despite many promises to do so. The article I read says "An Addiction is a strong dependence or habitual use of a substance or practice, despite the negative consequences of its use. Addictions can be formed to any activity or behaviour which allows people to escape from life and its problems and includes shopping or spending, sexual activities, gambling, food, prescribed and illegal drugs, alcohol and even other people." - which probably means that if you're a die-hard blog addict, you have some (conscious/unconscious) real-life issue that you're trying to escape I right or wrong here, please enlighten me, cos I better know if I'm going mental. Ok jokes apart, what I wanted to convey to you from this post is that after reading this, if you think you have a serious and unhealthy addiction(s) that need attention, please see that you attend to it and take the next step to recover from it. But keep in mind that for it to be a serious and unhealthy addiction, it has to dominate your daily life, be negative and harmful to you and/or others, and you have to be powerless when it comes to controlling it. Also know that some people ruin their lives by serious addictions such as drugs, people, alcohol, gambling and money.

Some of the Addictions I may well be suffering (or enjoying rather) from are: music, clothes, shoes, blogs, music, blogs music and blogs. Oh did I mention blogs? I guess not. And No I don't want to go into Anti-blog-rehab 'cos FYI this is what's keeping me sane. In other words, if I went into rehab, I would have to prepare my Eulogy on the way - how boring is that. Anyways how about you, addicted to anything weird lately?

Wednesday, March 8

Re-United Airlines!

Ok guys we are re-united and flying, not so high but our wings have healed from all those injuries. Thanking you all for all the support and words of wisdom given to me at my time of sorrow. If anyone thought that my previous post was a public disgrace to my good friend, then you are mistaken my dear. 'Cos my blog is where I write about things I value, my deepest emotions, my most personal stories and I can get pretty straightforward with my posts...and if I did write up a post about someone (be it on a bright or gloomy note), that means that person means/meant alot to me or have affected my life in some strong way. I believe that certain people have that drive, the drive to make one feel extremely happy/sad etc - the drive to make you express about them openly. That means those people and their influence on me are worth causing a commotion about :)

Also, by writing that post I really received the much-needed relaxation and the realisation that I ain't a perfect friend either. 'Cos I hurt my friend too and there's his side of the story that none of you have heard yet. But that post was the outline of the short tragedy and I guess I learnt alot and grew so much from all your very wise advice. I also realised how hard it is to lose someone you really care for, how much some people really mean to me, and that it takes plenty of grace to realise that I was wrong too and to say Sorry. That was the biggest and the most valuable lesson.
So thanking you all, and apologising if I hurt anyone in my little process of learning and is your wisdom that brought me thank you again folks!

"A good friend is hard to find, hard to lose, and impossible to forget"..."Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say"..."Friendship is talking to your best friend without words"..."Money might make you wealthy, but friends makes you rich"..."You don't make friends, you earn them"..."Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end, but somewhere in the middle we've become best of friends"...

Friday, March 3

Friendship Algebra...

We are just net buddies...hold on a sec...why did I use the term 'just' when in real you can have a great friendship over the net. I have sound proof of that...or do I? Atleast I did for a while...the fact that it's no more doesn't make it unreal - it was there somehow. Net or not, two people can have a great bond, I believe in that. A friendship in bits and blog-hops and chats...through many keystrokes of affection and countless logins of anticipation. But somehow some caluclations creep in, yuikkkks - net or not, friendship accounts and balance sheets come in - why? Why can't we just be the way we are...why do we always have to prove to each other that we are infact great friends? After all, to me friendship means having to do nothing towards your friend to 'prove' your friendship. 'Cos trying to prove means you are not naturally there. Maybe that's why I have very few close friends in life...those who couldn't handle my carefree (or you could choose to say careless) nature just discarded me from their memory bank. I didnt say I'm not's fine. As long as you are happy, I'm happy. I said I love you, I miss you and I care for you...but as you suggest, none of that was for lies. Why would I spend my precious emotions on someone if I don't feel any love for that person? I can't do it, can you? But you don't think that's enough a measure of friendship...ah it's all about measures and calculations isn't it. I don't know friendship had a mathematical side to it, somehow I don't wish to learn it. I just like my illiterate self in this bond called friendship. Leave Algebra for school please.
Guys I will not be posting any birthday posts for my net friends hereafter - please forgive me for that. I don't want to treat anyone any more speical than another and it won't be fair if I forget dates etc. One of the reasons I haven't got a blog-friends list in my blog is also because of this same reason. Anyways, hope you all understand and I'm so sorry if I forgot anyone's birthday this year. Happy Belated Birthday Wishes to all who celebrated their birthdays already for 2006! And I know no Maths within special bonds...sorry if that disappoints you.

Thursday, March 2


I was. My body lies in a deep sleep...blind, deaf, mute, frozen...but I see, hear, talk, one hears me, sees one talks to me, feels me...I see them, hear them loud, talk to them, feel them for I'm everywhere. Frozen in time, frozen words, frozen touch but I roam like the breeze. My skin so white and lips so dark, my heart so scorched yet beating moist memories aloud. Last journey severed mid-way, yet all the events fresh as dew. I stumbled, I fell, I gave up...but I can't not yet. Unspoken words, undone deeds, unfulfilled is all I left behind...hearts scarred for life but I sailed to my next destination. 'twas too short, too good, too frightening, too lost, too quick. A bright flash once and a faded memory I've become. This sleep will last forever not, for my travels are a many...and I take refuge in another womb, in another time. And I begin. As the sleeping plant gets life with a sprinkle of rain, as new leaves sprout when Spring arrives, as the frozen lake melts with a kiss of the Sun, as the birds fly North when seasons change, I will rise up from the ashes, from this sleep, from this deafening silence, from this darkest night, into the dawn...blood will flow, my heart will pump again...lips will move and my skin will breathe...I will be seen, heard, talked to and felt again...another journey, another awakening...and I will be.