WARNING: Please be respectful towards Ani Lhosang Dolma in your comments. Also, the latter part of this post ('An Epiphany' paragraph) may be distressing to some readers.
Do you believe that whatever is inscripted in your mind by birth will somehow take shape some day? I do. As a Buddhist, I believe in Karma, Aatma, Rebirth and Moksha. In our lifelong quest for knowledge, spirituality and eternal peace some of us believe that we are in control of ourselves and our lives. Partly we may be, but I believe we are given an etched path to walk on, and we somehow have to walk it whether we like it or not. Hence the vast diversity of different life experiences by us all humanbeings. Here's a story to prove that childhood visions/dreams may well be what you'll end up being some day...the path you have been given is what you'll end up walking somehow. This story is about a beautiful Nepali model (Kohinoor Singh, now Ani Lhosang Dolma) who turned into a monk . Some of you may have read this story before. The most interesting aspect of her story is that it was a childhood revelation planted in her mind (eversince she encountered a female-monk, demonstrating a calm and peaceful outlook) that revisited her later on in life, as her ultimate destination. And though this little girl grew up, forgot about that childhood vision and became a hot and popular model, that same vision came back to her not much later on and made a complete change in her life. Isn't that amazing! Doesn't that say that what you 'realised' as a kid can remain with you forever and some day materialise to be the reality of you? (the above 2 pics are of Kohinoor Singh, one when she was a model and the other after she became a monk).
Think about something that inspired you tremendously when you were a child...think about something that stuck with you for years and years, well after witnessing it (good/bad)...think about something that left a lasting impression on you and made you feel like that that's what you want to become or want from life some day. Even if you haven't 'implemented' it yet, maybe that vision is still in you somewhere, deep down your slumbering psyche, waiting to be awakened when the right cue is met? Here's something that shook me, pierced my developing belief-system and reigned my entire life after witnessing it so many years ago from now:
I was walking with my mum and dad down a hospital aisle. We were visiting a patient (a friend of my parents). I was barely 7. We had to walk past the Cancer ward to get to where our friend was. My parents were in front of me and I was tagging along behind them, looking at all the patients with my curious eyes (maybe that was my first conscious-visit to a hospital). As a child, I was very observant and didn't wanna miss a thing. Suddenly my eyes caught a female patient of about 50yrs of age lying on a bed...waist-down her body was left partly naked (for treatment I suppose). She had her legs spread open and she seemed to be in ALOT of pain...her facial expressions read Suffering & Death. I looked straight at her and I saw a huge cavity-like wound (as large as her entire abdominal area!). She basically didn't have any flesh between her legs...it was one big hole of blood and pus! I was in shock. I know no child should have been allowed to walk past that area, but it happened somehow. I saw it all. Apparently she was a Rectal cancer patient (I later found out cos I asked my dad why she was in so much pain and looked so different compared to other patients). My dad was a man who never obscured anything about life from us...he told us everything as it is. I remember going home and thinking about that woman for days, weeks and months...and then years. The trauma has worn off but the reality of our bodies hit me hard. Just then something surfaced to the top of my very young mind...something that had woken up after it met it's trigger.
Somehow I can't seem to erase that sight from my mind...and the thought that was born with it. And that thought is what a load of rubbish our bodies are...flesh decays and the body rots. Longing, suffering and death cannot be avoided by any humanbeing. The sight of that patient was a true testament to the temporary nature of our bodies and lives. We can conquer all of that by meditation. We can separate the body from the mind. But developing our minds to the highest point (still point) is not an easy task but I'm sure is the most peaceful state to be. The Bhikkus always intrigued me and being a part of the lay community, I always looked up to Bana (Dhamma preachings) from the monks during Buddhist events, both at home and outside. Even now whenever I go to a temple, I feel at home and at my best naturally. Since I grew up in a Buddhist environment, I always saw the temple and meditation as my ultimate peace in life. Is it a vision of my future just like it was for Kohinoor Singh? *can you visualise me with a shaved-head and in yellow robes some day? :):)* I know my mum won't be very happy if she read this post! Right now I'm VERY far from what it requires to achieve such a state of mind...but I know this inscription is within me. Share your stories, visions and thoughts please, thanks. And have a 'blissful' weekend too!
Buddham Saranam Gacchami
I take refuge in Buddha
Dhammam Saranam Gacchami
I take refuge in Dharma
Sangham Saranam Gacchami
I take refuge in Sangha... ...
Current Music: Buddham Saranam Gacchami (A buddhist song sung by the late muslim SL singer Mohideen Baig)