This is a home for my heart...a distant refuge for my spirit, away from the madding crowd and the masquerades that we live. This is where everything is unveiled and nothing is compromised.
We once were. Now all I have are pieces of the broken us. All my life I have had friends of all kinds, all walks of life, from all around the world. Yet I still have not found a friend that I can call my 'best friend' or 'true friend'. Don't get me wrong, I value all my friends equally and do believe that they are real and contribute to my being in their own unique ways. But I also know that not a single humanbeing can be at their BEST all the time, or be consistently TRUE to someone else. People can't be with you forever. You can't be with them forever either. So why do we try to make them our's, try to call them 'my', 'mine' etc? People make mistakes, just as much as they can make each other happy. And we all have our own cross to bear let alone bear other people's crosses for them. We all want the best for our loved-ones but we do fail them sometimes. And that's not a crime. Cutting to the chase, that means there can't be a friend on Earth who will always be TRUE to you and will always be there for you til the end of time. Let's face it people.
As I lay myself to sleep, I wonder about you...I think of the times we've had together...I remember how it all fell apart...I feel the void right now. I'm not a perfect person. I'm as fragile as you are. But I still value you as a friend. Friends come and go. No one stays forever, even if they do, nothing is forever. People often think I must have alot of friends. In real, I have only a very few close friends, and ALOT who are no longer in my life. Even with those few friends, I do have a distance...we don't hang out together all the time. I'm a very friendly person but I'm a very difficult person to be a friend to. That may well be because I appear aloof though deep down I really care...I live in my own world and I know you live in your's. I give ample time and space to my friends, just as much as I require the same from them.Some friends don't talk to me anymore cos I didn't meet up with them or cos I couldn't keep up with their demands or cos their priorities changed completely. Hey that's ok...Im not crying for you anymore, neither am I upset about it anymore, though I was at the start. Cos now I believe that's just the way it's ought to be. I don't 'try' to keep anything going cos I believe that if there's something real, I don't have to 'try' to keep it going.It will stay alive on it's own. To me, that's what genuine friendship is. And even if it dies someday, I know it was once there. Let's move on.
Just as much as you have not been there for me, I know that I haven't been there for you either. In a perfect world, we'd be comforting each other til the end of time. But unfortunately, that's not what nature is. I do understand that no one can be 100% there for someone else and til death do them part. That's rubbish. From time to time we fail, and it's ok. As long as we realise that as humans we are prone to change, then I think we will be able to come to terms with the fact that there's no such thing as a BEST/TRUE friend per person who will be there for you at all times. Every friend we make adds to our life just as much as we do to their's. Being the best and being true is all momentary.It may change any time. Cos people change, times change and priorities change. But that doesn't mean they were never your friends. Everything in this world goes through an exciting beginning, a blood-rushing peak and then a Nirvana-like saturation period.If even after that saturation period, you still care about each other without having to say or do anything, then cherish that. And sometimes things end abruptly and will be never be the same again. It's ok. It's nature. We can never go against nature. Start to accept the fact that the more expectations you have out of your friends, the more miserable you will be.Let's give ourselves and others alot of time and space.
Thanks for being in my life once upon a time. You're not around anymore but you're still a friend that made a difference in my life.Nothing has to last forever for it to be real. If you don't have a so-called forever friend, don't panic. I'm in the same boat, and I have no qualms about it either. Cos I know, nothing and noone is forever. So I choose my best as my friend, and make the most of the time I have with the people I meet. Surf's up, come on let's have fun while it lasts, cos we may not get this moment again. And this moment is real. Let's grab it.
PS: My dear friends SMM and Veni recently wrote posts on Friendship. This post was inspired by their wonderful posts, and this is my take on it. Thanks guys!
You are right...nothing lasts forever..not even best friendship. I tell myself that all the time and yet the void left by an ex bff..is yet to be filled. It is the rejection, the disappearance w/ out a word that hurts...
The line nothing lasts forever rang a bell w/ me. That's right. Nothing does. Not even friendship. At this point I went off into my own tangent. A so called BFF disappeared from my life w/out a trace. No calls, no e mails, no text, no replies to my calls, mails and texts. So the rejection(if that is the right word) is still hurting. Not to mention the void this person left. I have not had my closure even after 1.5 years. Hence the tears :) Thanks for reaching out. Hugs back. Muwahs.
You know what Keshi? I'm the kind who needs space and time too and clingy friends usually end up drifting away from me. But my childhood best friend and I have a sort of understanding. Catch up every few weeks, don't be judgemental and pick up where we left off last.
these are all delusional words in this materialistic word...
all that matter is u need to have prosperity...and happiness..whateva the medium be... tough philosophy..but i found it true but not so long ago... but it is true nonetheless...
Im glad Im not a difficult person for u to be a friend to. but I know that I dun 'please' my friends...and in that process, I hv lost some friends. but Im glad u stuck by :) evn tho I hv been quite rude to u at time. tough luck, deal with it ;-)
**and i prefer to be true then best
That's good Hemz. Genuine ppl r hard to find. But at the same time, we hv to stop and think if we r being genuine to others too.
**I'm the kind who needs space and time too and clingy friends usually end up drifting away from me.
Im so like u. I need alot of time n space. Im not the kind of friend who'd hang ard u all the time, neither do I want my friends to hang ard me all the time lol!
I dunno...Im different in the sense that I value solitude alot. I wish more of my friends u'stood that.
You have this sublime ability to think deep down and connect ur thoughts with the masses.Just as all of us readers think,u pen them down..Ur blessed and so are we I should say.. :)
And abt friends being really momentary,ife took me to cleaners with all my never ending expectations with ppl arnd and I've learned my lesson I think.I do love to be among my friends,but then deep down,I kno this might not be lasting long.that moment,makes me feel weird though I ges I've started to live outta it too..
I wanna cum down to oz just to be able to c ya and believe me,both of us(me and ria didi) are coming down one fine morning..and knock at ur doorsteps.. :)
Perfectly put gurl!!No wonder i like u so much for the person that u r. Thats what true friendship is all abt!! One need not be with the other person all the time to call each other friends. The true test of friendship are at times when u r down and out and they r there to pull u out and vice-versa.
I am very approachable and social as a person but if u ask me how many close friends i can barely name two of them, one of them being my guy. Thankfully we are friends first and then a couple and i like it that way. :)
And the best thing abt true/real friendship is tht no matter when u meet them, u start from the same point where u had last met. Thats how it is for me and my close friends.
love the new look Kesh and love the fact that u're back here even more!! I saw u on rajbir's blog ... left u a comment there too btw :)
about the post, I read somewhere that we get to know certain ppl at certain stages of our lives...and like circumstances, places, situations and even we change ... so do the people we meet, get close to, cherish...they have relevance then...but maybe them and us don't fit in each others lives all the time...a rare few do if at all...but we're never without special someones, are we? faces change...but emotions previal...
****I do understand that no one can be 100% there for someone else and til death do them part. That's rubbish.
Its surely not rubbish dear..(I am not contradicting ya though)
We tend to call it rubbish because we really do not find such people in our life. The search still continues. I have only found my parents to be as such.
Yes. we need to live considering life the most important..we certainly find ways to justify or find a filler to fill that void...well your post gives a lot of hopes to live life without being depressed about the absence of such angles :)
There's a lot in that post which I have often thought myself. Friendship is perhaps just as over-rated as professions of undying love that will never change. Says the cynic in me.
It's very difficult to maintain close friendships when there's so much about the people involved that is/has changed. Lucky are those who manage to keep friendships intact through every little change. Sad it is however, that one must have to face parting at some point.
Being in the moment, as you say, is what really counts :)
I'm in the same situation & so far I've always cribbed about the fact that I do not have many close friends like my mates form school who are still very much each other's "best-friend"
You are right..nothing lasts forever.We make great friends but not all of 'em stay with us all the time. I can relate a lot to this touching post =)
ur post made me think of all the friends who arent with me anymore. I dont even know where some of them are. Till now, i was holding grudges against them 4 jst disappearing. But now i want to thank them. We did have some special moments and they did support.
And it's quite okay not to have a "best friend". I have one back home I consider almost as a sister to me, but when she crosses the line, I will tell her to back off. No wonder I don't MANY friends but I am happy with the few I have! :)
a post with great insight, I agree with most of it and yet one thing is that true friends are truely for life and I hv no doubt about it, but yes I give them their space and I get mine and we still are close enough.. The space is needed to keep relations go forever..
i was planing to do a post on exactly the same topic and my take on it differs very little from yours. there is this friend of mine, and she has never been closer to anyone else... but lately im feeling wierd about it and cant bear her any longer.. and i was planning to do a post on her but decided against it as she might just visit my blog and find it... so i planned to do something more general like the one you've done :D
and i for one have never actually felt that someone is my BEST friend cos each person is different and i resemble each a little in a certain way. and even if a person were exactly the way i was, i cant get along with them.. so each is special to me and in different ways...
This post made me a bit sad. You are so true in all the words. I have many friends. At certain stages, I felt some of them were my best friends. But then reality dawns that they are not... they are just good friends.
I think we look too much in the outside. The search game never ends.
Could relate to that so much... Dunno what to say. I wanted to write something so damn similar but couldn't bring myself to, 'cos, tbh, it would bring back stuff which I'd preferred were left buried back in time...
But yeah, gotta move on with life. Totally.
If u ask me though, it is best to *not* have a "best friend". Of course, thts my opinion. 'Cos, I do not like such discrimination. A friend is a friend. Period. Cherish him/her for who he/she is. Not what you want him/her to be.
Keep the faith.
Peace. Be well.
--- When u ve the time, do lemme know wht u make of this.
Beautiful and thoughtful post as usual, Keshi. AND... what I see... you are NEW VIVA FOREVER! I like those colors: yellow and blue. Good idea and great job!!!
there's no such thing as a BEST/TRUE friend per person who will be there for you at all times
You're right, Keshi. Nothing is forever, as a water in the river - it comes and it goes. Only our hearts remeber forever (maybe yes maybe not?)
I agree that you should give time and space to your friends, coz you need it too....but its important to stay connected on a regular basis (and regular cud be your own definition) to keep the friendship alive.
As you said, "Just as much as you have not been there for me, I know that I haven't been there for you either." -
I don't think this would happen if there is genuine frienship....coz you would always seek for your friend when you need her/him....and vice versa....
However, I've been through heart-ache as well, and in general I agree that cherishing the good times and moving on without hoping that it shud last forever is the best way :)
I just realised I havnt had any true frnd till nw...everyone just comes and goes....N goes because I too demand my space, my liberty to think the way I want !!
friends may or may not last forever... the memories do.
but... IMO... sometimes, you need to try a bit. maybe the other person needs to know that they mean so much to you that you'll make that extra effort to keep them in your life.
Agree with every word . And it's the fact that u understand these things about friendship is what makes you sensible :)
Best friends are cliched. Even when I was young, Never searched for such a person, coz I knew all I can hope for are true/good friends. The criteria
with whom I'm comfortable with. can have fun. no judgements please. who I can rely on or trust with my feelings. who understands me and accepts .that I have my priorities too just as they have theirs. who know the bad things about me and still don't mind being around me :). who have the guts to be honest with me yet at times are willing to agree to disagree. who value me just as I value them, getting atleast an ALMOST even return to my actions.
Luckily in life, at every stage, I've always found a few who've stood by me, holding me up and cheering me.
"Start to accept the fact that the more expectations you have out of your friends, the more miserable you will be." So true keshi!
I felt lately that people remains forever, but not a person indeed. Sometimes we think, but never liked to express true thoughts about friendship to think to avoid disturbance my making strong words.
I had left a comment on your blog on this post, but I can't seem to find it anywhere :( Sheesh, I'm not sure now that I'd posted it then... and it was too long a reply to remember and put down now ... waah ...
all in all a good blog !! I've been lucky to always been supported by a few true friends in each stage of life and have known that nothing lasts forever ...
Have some friends that stand by me even today at every step and I'm thankful for their supportive, kind, funloving, understanding ways ...
Wish you the same today and forever. .. people to stand by you, have fun with and like you for who you are !!
at this point of time I am enjoying a lot with my friends and we do spend a lot of time with each other .. solely bcause we are all at the same place and bachelors .. soon our lives would change .. sadly !!
Yeah i cud relate to it, where on many occasions i thought, alright he/she , r they my best friends? okay they are not.....but fortunately i do hv that one person who's indeed my best friend, BEST, u know her as well...sunita. Its hardly 12 years and i always pray we stay that way till we become ashes...
as usual bang on Keshi...also am so happy tht I can read u again:) "be the friend u want" is what matters, I guess btw... my forever friends are loneliness and boredom, shadow and emotions (sowwie, cud not resist to be glum)
Very true and some points hit the heart.People, they come and go. We can't blame them if they had to. Right, let's take every moment that's real and keep it in our hearts.
I had a friend once whom I cherished so much. It shook me so bad when we fell apart. I still sink it in even today. I agree with everything you said in this post Keshi, even though I didn't want to. But that's life :)
Hi,Keshi-that was one interesting post...made me think back to the past and all the friends I have/had..and,yes,there is one best friend,from school days,but,he's in a neighbouring country here,and,since our jobs took us to different places,it's been tough keeping in touch,but,we still do.
**I'm a very friendly person but I'm a very difficult person to be a friend to.**...that's a nice way to express your thoughts-maybe I identified with it,because I'm similar.And,the reason is the somewhat cynicism that develops with time-being betrayed,hearing about how some friend was laughing at me behind my back,et al.:)And,then,came the realization- one's best friend is one's own self.Do you agree?:)
Keshi...either I'm jinxed or this post is. Tis is the 4th time that I am trying to comment. Hopefully this goes through.
You'v written it so well girl. Sometimes the same friends we thought we couldn't live without have now grown apart. It hurts when you'v shared so much with a friend and then that person just suddenly moves away (emotionally) and then there are friends with whom distance and time just doesn't count. You meet and you just pick up where you left off.
I miss having close friends around with whom I used to share every single thing. Ya I know people move on etc etc. Still. Especially when we were so close. We had our own space yet we were so close. I think if you want to end a friendship then you owe it to the other person to tell him/ her that instead of just dropping someone like a hot potato. It's like a relationship which comes to an end.
I would just be more hopeful. All that is harsh practical reality, but then one cannot be in a sceptic state. Friendship is a boon, relationship is full of expectations and dependencies and demand, but friendship just have agreed bonds.
**but even if its for a while, some people do come into our lives and touch it in a very special way for us to remember them for all our eternity
thats what I mean. It's all momentary.
If I take my blog friends as an example, friends that I hv now are not the friends I had just a year ago! Only very few r still here...and a whole lot of new ones too. Thats life :)
ur one such friend...one who always 'remained' in my life, no matter the distance or the circumstances. but even if that changes some day, Im glad that I found u on my way.
**but maybe them and us don't fit in each others lives all the time...a rare few do if at all...but we're never without special someones, are we? faces change...but emotions previal
**We tend to call it rubbish because we really do not find such people in our life. The search still continues.
I agree. But in our Search, we always find NEW and MOMENTARY friends. The old ones remain in our MEMORY. Some remain with us in body and soul, but they too hv to leave some day.
**I have only found my parents to be as such.
Parents love us unconditionally cos we r bound by blood. But they too cant be with us forever, can they Joyce?
yes, I hv paved myself a way to survive in a world thats to 'temporary'.
It's alright to hv basic expectations in a r'ship...it's natural. But to expect more than what a humanbeing possibly can provide, is just a waste of time, emotions and can be quite taxing on the r'ship itself.
**Till now, i was holding grudges against them 4 jst disappearing. But now i want to thank them. We did have some special moments and they did support.
Im glad u hv the heart to see them that way. yes, its the MOMENTS that count.
yes ur right. every friend is GREAT at different things. I hv a friend to chat abt guys with, another friend to do shopping with, a friend to drive around with, a friend to go bush-walking with etc etc. :)
**but decided against it as she might just visit my blog and find it..
if I were u, I'd still write it. If ur friend finds out, does it matter? Cos its the TRUTH isnt it? :) And if she's a genuine friend, she has to understand, not be upset with it all.
I've had friends who's ego I've torn apart and yet they remained with me. Same goes to me :)
If u really can 'face' each other while the truth is being laid out on the table, then ur real mates.
yes even I feel sad when I think of some of my past mates. there was a girl who was once my so-called 'BEST FRIEND'. We met at Uni, we went out together, we did alot of things together, we helped each other move houses, we were there for each other in every step of our lives, our families became friends too, we were basically the ideal BEST FRIENDS u'll ever get.
And then, something happened to her. Suddenly she became a different person. She stopped calling me. Changed her religion. She ignored all my calls, emails and my desperate attempts to get back the girl I knew...my TRUE FRIEND at the time. Nothing cud bring her back.
It's been a few years now since we last talked. I dun even know where she is! I still hv her number but I know my call will not be responded to.
I'd never hv imagined that we'd be like this some day. But it happened.
As I lay myself to sleep, I wonder about you...I think of the times we've had together...I remember how it all fell apart...I feel the void right now.I have someone as well that a day doesn't pass that I don't wonder what she is doing as well as wishing what she and I had could have worked out. And yes, I have this void that defies being filled.
I'm a very friendly person but I'm a very difficult person to be a friend to.This drives me crazy. I find that I often have a hard time being open and socializing with people I just meet. My "small talk" skills are weak at best and unless I have someone supplying fuel for conversation awkward silences soon replace interesting talk.
Surf's up, come on let's have fun while it lasts, cos we may not get this moment again. And this moment is real. Let's grab it.I have discovered that my best course of action around people is to go ahead and risk making a fool of myself. Which most likely I do but the one out of ten times I don't is worth it.
**....but its important to stay connected on a regular basis (and regular cud be your own definition) to keep the friendship alive.
I dunno Shachi. I used to be like that. u know, thinking in terms of 'what's imp' to do, than just being myself. Now I don't think what's imp to do. I just let myself be me. I dun expect anything from my friends and I dun go out of my way to keep something alive. I dun hv to.
**sometimes, you need to try a bit. maybe the other person needs to know that they mean so much to you that you'll make that extra effort to keep them in your life.
I agree. but I dun TRY to keep anyone in my life. Simply put, I just can't do that. What will be, will be.
The criteria u listed is what every FRIEND should be like. Sadly, not many can live upto it. Once in a while, u find ppl like that and then u've got a cherish them.
I used to hv a criteria for everything in life...now I dun. I just hv a rough sketch but I just go with the flow. cos I realise that humans can never stick to something all the time. we do stray sometimes.
ur right...urself is ur bestest friend. cos when all ur mates go to sleep, when ur family is tired of listening to ur woes, when ur dog is tired too :), and when ur net friends r busy with their lives, all u hv is YOURSELF.
**,hearing about how some friend was laughing at me behind my back,et al.
**sometimes with best friends, we just pick up where we left behind even if we don't meet all the time.
yes I agree. I hv 2 mates like that in my life. we live States and countries apart right now, yet whenever we meet we pick up where we left last.
But I dun like to call em my BEST friends...cos even if I meet someone new and make them my friend for a day, I'd hv had something BEST abt them to remember. So all friends I make, no matter how short/long the friendship was for, matters to me and are the BEST for whatever they are unique at :)
**I think if you want to end a friendship then you owe it to the other person to tell him/ her that instead of just dropping someone like a hot potato
I agree. u dun drop ppl from ur life just like they r a hot potato. Thats not the kind of friendship Im talking abt here.
I mean, when friends find new things in their lives, new paths, new priorities etc, that shouldnt make us sad...and we cant expect them to be just the way they were before. u know what I mean dun ya?
If they r ur real mates, they will come back to u after we give them ample time n space. if they dun come back, then that doesnt mean what u had b4 was fake either. sometimes ppl leave us SMM for no fault of our's or their's.
hello keshi ; ) wow, you've done some remodeling to your place ; ) it's very nice. nerd? there is nothing wrong with being a nerd...i'm a nerd, too. and i'm ok. yes, little girls, YOUNG girls- 5,6, and 7 year olds having "girly" parties at the salon!! yes, it's a fact. how sad. how are you? hope you and your family are doing well. stay well...hugs & blessings
Im sorry abt ur friend. However, by now u wud hv realised that most of us in this world hv such a 'void' in our lives.
** have someone supplying fuel for conversation awkward silences soon replace interesting talk.
me too! omg ur so like me :) I chat alot in Blogville, cos its all to do with WRITING. but if u meet me in real, u will experience alot of SILENCE hehe. unless Im fuelled for interesting convo, I can be very 'strangely' and 'irritatingly' silent.
And thats another reason why Im reluctant abt meeting blog-mates in real. Cos they'd hv EXPECTATIONS of a chatterbox in me, but in person Im silent and difficult to hv a convo with, unless the other person intrigues me with their convo hehehe...
And yes, just like u, I often make a fool of myself too lol!
Calling her BEST is not to devaluate anybody else. Out of all my friends, she knows me more than anyone else, for the rest i gotta speak my heart out, with her my face is good enough for her to read me accurately. Instead of best i guess i shud hv called her special...:)
well every time i think of posting about the people whom i cant stand right now and decide against it i tell myself "keshi would have gone ahead with it." but what it would seem like if i do post about the person is, i felt is that she would get real hurt and angry and upset. but what was posting about how irritated i get with her. well i keep telling it to her all the time and it does piss her off... i for one don't think i can be a very true friend to her either. so i thought id just leave it for a while, anyway im not going to be allowed much of computer-time :(( but i will be doing a post on how ive never been able to be "best friends" with somebody...
hope you had a nice weekend.. :D i had one too... for four days :P it just ended yesterday..
btw, my comment doesnt seem to make much sense to me in the first place... ill come back and comment again if i can rephrase it better :)
**how irritated i get with her. well i keep telling it to her all the time and it does piss her off
isnt that her problem? not ur's.
whenever friends dun u'stand me or get pissed off for being told the truth, I just let them be. there's nothing more I can do. we always think that there's something we MUST do to get our points across to ppl. but the truth is, DOING NOTHING is the answer after a certain point :)
finally i could comment using my blogger id... mostly i use my gmail id directed directly from my google reader.. thats why i end up commenting in a different id.. but if i do that, ill make it sure that i leave my url along with the comment www.chronicwriter.com
keshi, i totally agree... i do act like that... she says " and i am feeling so bad because of you!!" and i say, "im sorry, thats what i feel and thats what i say, so i cant help it."
:P i just read my previous comment.. what i meant to say was that it would look like im bitching bout her behind her back... but now after a lot of thought, i am gonna do that post sometime.. well as soon as i feel like it.. :D thank you sweetie for making me feel like doing it. *hugs*
hmm...nice thoughts but i disagree at few places. not coz i live in a fairy world but coz of few experinces. best/true friend might not be there with you always but will b there wenvr u need. best/true friend doesnt need a hi hello wassup everyday...he/she needs to know that u r wenvr he/she needs u, even if it is after few months/years. i m tellin u coz it happend 2 me. there is no differentiation b/w best friend, true friend, real friend...blah blah friend, its just that person who u know will b there wen u need. y does a person strt goin around and have bf/gf...just to remove their void so tht thy have a person to pour themselves into. dont u thnk tht on a temporary basis thy r their best frind. but ur bf/gf might not be there with you forever unless its true love but a frind will. because thts wt makes friendship so beautiful. a true friendship is without expectations. not neccesarly every person will find that sorta person, but gladly i did. thts y i thing otherwise. but certainly well written. true from heart.
I know i'm rather late to comment but pardon me as i was quite busy with my classes besides for you blog i always need extra time as your entries are long....
I'm touched that you feel the same and made you write about it too....
After the post i got to know....i'm not the only one....
Well...i have come to a point....i'm just happy i have friends....perfect or not why bother...no one is perfect after all : )
Music seems to adore me as it keeps reaching my ears...guitars and cars...friends I cannot be without...poems, life, ocean, people...these are some things I simply love. This is my personal e-diary...if anything I blurt out here hurts anyone, my sincere apologies in advance. What I write here are my deepest thoughts that I hardly discuss with people close to me in real. These are my conversations with my mind and the walls who sometimes have better listening powers than humans. But ofcourse I value everyone's views and I intend to grow from them, so you're most welcome to express yourselves here.
Life is too short so I try to 'live' longer every day...and yes one day at a time.
Knowledge is power hence people have been the source of that power in me...I thank them always.
We once were. Now all I have are pieces of the broken us. All my life I have had friends of all kinds, all walks of life, from all around the world. Yet I still have not found a friend that I can call my 'best friend' or 'true friend'. Don't get me wrong, I value all my friends equally and do believe that they are real and contribute to my being in their own unique ways. But I also know that not a single humanbeing can be at their BEST all the time, or be consistently TRUE to someone else. People can't be with you forever. You can't be with them forever either. So why do we try to make them our's, try to call them 'my', 'mine' etc? People make mistakes, just as much as they can make each other happy. And we all have our own cross to bear let alone bear other people's crosses for them. We all want the best for our loved-ones but we do fail them sometimes. And that's not a crime. Cutting to the chase, that means there can't be a friend on Earth who will always be TRUE to you and will always be there for you til the end of time. Let's face it people.
As I lay myself to sleep, I wonder about you...I think of the times we've had together...I remember how it all fell apart...I feel the void right now. I'm not a perfect person. I'm as fragile as you are. But I still value you as a friend. Friends come and go. No one stays forever, even if they do, nothing is forever. People often think I must have alot of friends. In real, I have only a very few close friends, and ALOT who are no longer in my life. Even with those few friends, I do have a distance...we don't hang out together all the time. I'm a very friendly person but I'm a very difficult person to be a friend to. That may well be because I appear aloof though deep down I really care...I live in my own world and I know you live in your's. I give ample time and space to my friends, just as much as I require the same from them. Some friends don't talk to me anymore cos I didn't meet up with them or cos I couldn't keep up with their demands or cos their priorities changed completely. Hey that's ok...Im not crying for you anymore, neither am I upset about it anymore, though I was at the start. Cos now I believe that's just the way it's ought to be. I don't 'try' to keep anything going cos I believe that if there's something real, I don't have to 'try' to keep it going. It will stay alive on it's own. To me, that's what genuine friendship is. And even if it dies someday, I know it was once there. Let's move on.
Just as much as you have not been there for me, I know that I haven't been there for you either. In a perfect world, we'd be comforting each other til the end of time. But unfortunately, that's not what nature is. I do understand that no one can be 100% there for someone else and til death do them part. That's rubbish. From time to time we fail, and it's ok. As long as we realise that as humans we are prone to change, then I think we will be able to come to terms with the fact that there's no such thing as a BEST/TRUE friend per person who will be there for you at all times. Every friend we make adds to our life just as much as we do to their's. Being the best and being true is all momentary. It may change any time. Cos people change, times change and priorities change. But that doesn't mean they were never your friends. Everything in this world goes through an exciting beginning, a blood-rushing peak and then a Nirvana-like saturation period. If even after that saturation period, you still care about each other without having to say or do anything, then cherish that. And sometimes things end abruptly and will be never be the same again. It's ok. It's nature. We can never go against nature. Start to accept the fact that the more expectations you have out of your friends, the more miserable you will be. Let's give ourselves and others alot of time and space.
Thanks for being in my life once upon a time. You're not around anymore but you're still a friend that made a difference in my life. Nothing has to last forever for it to be real. If you don't have a so-called forever friend, don't panic. I'm in the same boat, and I have no qualms about it either. Cos I know, nothing and noone is forever. So I choose my best as my friend, and make the most of the time I have with the people I meet. Surf's up, come on let's have fun while it lasts, cos we may not get this moment again. And this moment is real. Let's grab it.
169 Cranium Signets:
me first :)....
urs..hemu..
Enlightening indeed....
Happy Easter love :)
true post from te core of the heart...i felt some part reading myself and seeing my self in the mirror :)...so beautiful it is sweets..
**I'm a very friendly person but I'm a very difficult person to be a friend to
i never had the difficulty to be ur frnd :)..and i am happy for that..
**I give ample time and space to my friends, just as much as I require the same from them.
truly said..time and space should always be considered :)..
**. Being the best and being true is all momentary. It may change any time
best is just a word...being true frnd is being true to ourself :)..and i prefer to be true then best..
** Start to accept the fact that the more expectations you have out of your friends, the more miserable you will be
expecting is not a good thing but do expect no do believe u will have ur frnd on ur side..:)...but dont expect something to be done :)...
i have read veni's post it was beautiful from the heart abt friendship...now i will be off to smm :)..
urs..hemu..
Everything u have written is just so true Keshi.. Every line of the post..
gurl..
you are speaking my thoughts. you know i was thinking of the same thing, when i woke up today.
Was surprised when i got online and saw ur post...
Thanks keshi, i am feeling better right now :)
Btw, Happy easter
You are right...nothing lasts forever..not even best friendship. I tell myself that all the time and yet the void left by an ex bff..is yet to be filled. It is the rejection, the disappearance w/ out a word that hurts...
oh phoo :( there u go making me cry.
The line nothing lasts forever rang a bell w/ me. That's right. Nothing does. Not even friendship. At this point I went off into my own tangent. A so called BFF disappeared from my life w/out a trace. No calls, no e mails, no text, no replies to my calls, mails and texts. So the rejection(if that is the right word) is still hurting. Not to mention the void this person left. I have not had my closure even after 1.5 years. Hence the tears :)
Thanks for reaching out.
Hugs back. Muwahs.
friends may come n go but the little moments of kinship shared by ppl sometimes lasts 4evr,eternally.this is my take on ur beautiful post.
No keshi thats not the way it ought to be..but sadly thats the way it is
You know what Keshi? I'm the kind who needs space and time too and clingy friends usually end up drifting away from me. But my childhood best friend and I have a sort of understanding. Catch up every few weeks, don't be judgemental and pick up where we left off last.
Works for us. :)
Keshi, a person's best friend is that person and no one else.....I learnt it the very hard way a long time ago!
And hey, I guess U need to do something about ur template.......ur space looks a lil crammed up! Just a thought!
i felt as if i've written this post...u been spyin on my mind keshi??
frnd
true frnd
best frnd
girl frnd
these are all delusional words in this materialistic word...
all that matter is u need to have prosperity...and happiness..whateva the medium be...
tough philosophy..but i found it true but not so long ago... but it is true nonetheless...
Hemz ur first most of the time! :) Does this mean u sleep, work, eat, live in my blog? LOL!
Keshi.
ty Southy! :)
Just as much as it was enlightening to u, can u relate to it?
Keshi.
aww ty Hemz!
Im glad Im not a difficult person for u to be a friend to. but I know that I dun 'please' my friends...and in that process, I hv lost some friends. but Im glad u stuck by :) evn tho I hv been quite rude to u at time. tough luck, deal with it ;-)
**and i prefer to be true then best
That's good Hemz. Genuine ppl r hard to find. But at the same time, we hv to stop and think if we r being genuine to others too.
Keshi.
ty Urv!
Keshi.
aww Caz ty n u too babez!
Keshi.
hey thats good to know Vaisakh :)
Keshi.
Lavida tnxx!
It happened with me too. Trust me, I hv been hurt, rejected and alone until that same pain gave me comfort. Thats how I arrived at this post.
u will find closure when u stop waiting for them.
*HUGZ*
Keshi.
ty Anwesa!
**but the little moments of kinship shared by ppl sometimes lasts 4evr,eternally
aww how true!
Keshi.
hey TT!
**No keshi thats not the way it ought to be..but sadly thats the way it is
when I said thats the way it 'ought' to be, I meant the course of each r'ship as it takes shape...u know wut I mean.
ur right..its the way IT IS.
Keshi.
ty Ki!
**I'm the kind who needs space and time too and clingy friends usually end up drifting away from me.
Im so like u. I need alot of time n space. Im not the kind of friend who'd hang ard u all the time, neither do I want my friends to hang ard me all the time lol!
I dunno...Im different in the sense that I value solitude alot. I wish more of my friends u'stood that.
Im glad u hv a good friend close to ya :)
Keshi.
ty Rakesh!
** a person's best friend is that person and no one else
yep well-said! cos when after all the friends r gone, u r left with YOURSELF.
**template
really? I see no probs here. How big/small is ur screen Rakesh? Cud be that too. Let me know.
tnxx!
Keshi.
hey Mayz thats good to know :)
I guess we hv all been 'killed' by friends well enough to hv found closure lol!
Keshi.
well-said bro!
**these are all delusional words in this materialistic word...
spot on! they r all terms that we give to our 'expectations'...and then we get disappointed by our own cravings.
Keshi.
You have this sublime ability to think deep down and connect ur thoughts with the masses.Just as all of us readers think,u pen them down..Ur blessed and so are we I should say.. :)
And abt friends being really momentary,ife took me to cleaners with all my never ending expectations with ppl arnd and I've learned my lesson I think.I do love to be among my friends,but then deep down,I kno this might not be lasting long.that moment,makes me feel weird though I ges I've started to live outta it too..
I am touched..!!
Take care and have a nice week ahead.. :)
Nikhil
I wanna cum down to oz just to be able to c ya and believe me,both of us(me and ria didi) are coming down one fine morning..and knock at ur doorsteps.. :)
Happy Easter.. :)
Nikhil
I so so agree with you...I also dun have any "Best" friend...I had during my school days...but then distance did us apart..
...but I have some very good friends...and I love them all (and you are one of them :D)
luvly post :)
Perfectly put gurl!!No wonder i like u so much for the person that u r. Thats what true friendship is all abt!! One need not be with the other person all the time to call each other friends. The true test of friendship are at times when u r down and out and they r there to pull u out and vice-versa.
I am very approachable and social as a person but if u ask me how many close friends i can barely name two of them, one of them being my guy. Thankfully we are friends first and then a couple and i like it that way. :)
And the best thing abt true/real friendship is tht no matter when u meet them, u start from the same point where u had last met. Thats how it is for me and my close friends.
yes, no person can be there for another all the time, every moment...
but even if its for a while, some people do come into our lives and touch it in a very special way for us to remember them for all our eternity :)
*I'm a very friendly person but I'm a very difficult person to be a friend to.
I think I know that by now :P
oh yeah, looks like we have club called 'Visit Oz & Keshi - 2009'. Am joining my bro Nikhil and Ria :)
take care mate... cheers...
love the new look Kesh and love the fact that u're back here even more!! I saw u on rajbir's blog ... left u a comment there too btw :)
about the post, I read somewhere that we get to know certain ppl at certain stages of our lives...and like circumstances, places, situations and even we change ... so do the people we meet, get close to, cherish...they have relevance then...but maybe them and us don't fit in each others lives all the time...a rare few do if at all...but we're never without special someones, are we? faces change...but emotions previal...
****I do understand that no one can be 100% there for someone else and til death do them part. That's rubbish.
Its surely not rubbish dear..(I am not contradicting ya though)
We tend to call it rubbish because we really do not find such people in our life. The search still continues.
I have only found my parents to be as such.
Yes. we need to live considering life the most important..we certainly find ways to justify or find a filler to fill that void...well your post gives a lot of hopes to live life without being depressed about the absence of such angles :)
Yeah Keshi, you are right...only this moment that connects me with you is real...in the real sense of living...
Yet, You would continue to live in the same force in me..even if we may lose touch for some reason...
for that matter, any friend of mine would live in me as much as I live myself :)
wishes,
devika
Hey Keshi!
There's a lot in that post which I have often thought myself. Friendship is perhaps just as over-rated as professions of undying love that will never change. Says the cynic in me.
It's very difficult to maintain close friendships when there's so much about the people involved that is/has changed. Lucky are those who manage to keep friendships intact through every little change. Sad it is however, that one must have to face parting at some point.
Being in the moment, as you say, is what really counts :)
hmmm, I sure think there'll be a few upset ppl after reading this post Keshi ;-) he he
But yeah, I guess, no expectations make friends go further...
Like that - Be real :)
Very well said, Keshi. I agree with you.
"Expectations kill".
Very well said, Keshi. I agree with you.
"EXPECTATIONS KILL"
Straight from the heart!
Well, friendship a beautiful relationship and it will always be. Only, sometimes our expectations of it seem to draw boundaries.
Nice read.
I'm in the same situation & so far I've always cribbed about the fact that I do not have many close friends like my mates form school who are still very much each other's "best-friend"
You are right..nothing lasts forever.We make great friends but not all of 'em stay with us all the time.
I can relate a lot to this touching post =)
ur post made me think of all the friends who arent with me anymore. I dont even know where some of them are. Till now, i was holding grudges against them 4 jst disappearing. But now i want to thank them. We did have some special moments and they did support.
And it's quite okay not to have a "best friend".
I have one back home I consider almost as a sister to me, but when she crosses the line, I will tell her to back off. No wonder I don't MANY friends but I am happy with the few I have! :)
hi keshi,
a post with great insight, I agree with most of it and yet one thing is that true friends are truely for life and I hv no doubt about it, but yes I give them their space and I get mine and we still are close enough.. The space is needed to keep relations go forever..
much luv,
-Aiz.
i am so lucky to have three best friends :)
i never expect...experience has taught me a lot.
nice post...as always
you know what you know what, YOU KNOW WHAAAT???
i was planing to do a post on exactly the same topic and my take on it differs very little from yours.
there is this friend of mine, and she has never been closer to anyone else... but lately im feeling wierd about it and cant bear her any longer.. and i was planning to do a post on her but decided against it as she might just visit my blog and find it... so i planned to do something more general like the one you've done :D
and i for one have never actually felt that someone is my BEST friend cos each person is different and i resemble each a little in a certain way. and even if a person were exactly the way i was, i cant get along with them.. so each is special to me and in different ways...
btw, loved the way you put it..
This post made me a bit sad. You are so true in all the words. I have many friends. At certain stages, I felt some of them were my best friends. But then reality dawns that they are not... they are just good friends.
I think we look too much in the outside. The search game never ends.
Could relate to that so much... Dunno what to say. I wanted to write something so damn similar but couldn't bring myself to, 'cos, tbh, it would bring back stuff which I'd preferred were left buried back in time...
But yeah, gotta move on with life. Totally.
If u ask me though, it is best to *not* have a "best friend". Of course, thts my opinion. 'Cos, I do not like such discrimination. A friend is a friend. Period. Cherish him/her for who he/she is. Not what you want him/her to be.
Keep the faith.
Peace. Be well.
---
When u ve the time, do lemme know wht u make of this.
Hey happy easter babe!Just dropped by to say that hav a gr8 weekend. And i'll will hav a good time in Goa. :)
Me being me....
I just think of friendship as a phase, or a wave (nerdy Keshi should remember all things spelt as wave, amplitude, phase shift and all)
LOL
Anyways, the point is I have had different true friends at different point in times.
Beautiful and thoughtful post as usual, Keshi.
AND... what I see... you are NEW VIVA FOREVER! I like those colors: yellow and blue. Good idea and great job!!!
there's no such thing as a BEST/TRUE friend per person who will be there for you at all times
You're right, Keshi. Nothing is forever, as a water in the river - it comes and it goes. Only our hearts remeber forever (maybe yes maybe not?)
I wish you the best!
I mean - blue and green of course, as our green Earth and blue Sky.
Perfect colors!
Good post Keshi! very thought-provoking.
I agree that you should give time and space to your friends, coz you need it too....but its important to stay connected on a regular basis (and regular cud be your own definition) to keep the friendship alive.
As you said,
"Just as much as you have not been there for me, I know that I haven't been there for you either." -
I don't think this would happen if there is genuine frienship....coz you would always seek for your friend when you need her/him....and vice versa....
However, I've been through heart-ache as well, and in general I agree that cherishing the good times and moving on without hoping that it shud last forever is the best way :)
I just realised I havnt had any true frnd till nw...everyone just comes and goes....N goes because I too demand my space, my liberty to think the way I want !!
friends may or may not last forever... the memories do.
but... IMO... sometimes, you need to try a bit. maybe the other person needs to know that they mean so much to you that you'll make that extra effort to keep them in your life.
lovely post.
How awesome! Thanks for sharing!
I really enjoyed reading this post. Keep writing..
Agree with every word . And it's the fact that u understand these things about friendship is what makes you sensible :)
Best friends are cliched. Even when I was young, Never searched for such a person, coz I knew all I can hope for are true/good friends. The criteria
with whom I'm comfortable with.
can have fun.
no judgements please.
who I can rely on or trust with my feelings.
who understands me and accepts .that I have my priorities too just as they have theirs.
who know the bad things about me and still don't mind being around me :).
who have the guts to be honest with me yet at times are willing to agree to disagree.
who value me just as I value them, getting atleast an ALMOST even return to my actions.
Luckily in life, at every stage, I've always found a few who've stood by me, holding me up and cheering me.
Wish the same for you today and always !!!
Cheers,
adisha
so true..
all the words.. best friend , true friend .. all these come with some expectation tag attached...
our soul is our best friend keshi
www.chronicwriter.com
Yeah I like my solitude too. :)
*hug*
"Start to accept the fact that the more expectations you have out of your friends, the more miserable you will be." So true keshi!
I felt lately that people remains forever, but not a person indeed. Sometimes we think, but never liked to express true thoughts about friendship to think to avoid disturbance my making strong words.
I had left a comment on your blog on this post, but I can't seem to find it anywhere :( Sheesh, I'm not sure now that I'd posted it then... and it was too long a reply to remember and put down now ... waah ...
all in all a good blog !! I've been lucky to always been supported by a few true friends in each stage of life and have known that nothing lasts forever ...
Have some friends that stand by me even today at every step and I'm thankful for their supportive, kind, funloving, understanding ways ...
Wish you the same today and forever. .. people to stand by you, have fun with and like you for who you are !!
cheers,
adisha
What a honest post, and soul- searching writing!
Hi Keshi, this is my first time here. And I'm glad I visited.
hmm .. its kinda true ..
at this point of time I am enjoying a lot with my friends and we do spend a lot of time with each other .. solely bcause we are all at the same place and bachelors .. soon our lives would change .. sadly !!
Keshi rocks with her new template after a long time. Cute.
I'm a very friendly person but I'm a very difficult person to be a friend.
Yes it does happen and at times we have lines not to go over even people who are close to us.
Well, I like you. Tough to do much beyond that on the net...
Yeah i cud relate to it, where on many occasions i thought, alright he/she , r they my best friends? okay they are not.....but fortunately i do hv that one person who's indeed my best friend, BEST, u know her as well...sunita. Its hardly 12 years and i always pray we stay that way till we become ashes...
as usual bang on Keshi...also am so happy tht I can read u again:)
"be the friend u want" is what matters, I guess
btw... my forever friends are loneliness and boredom, shadow and emotions (sowwie, cud not resist to be glum)
Great post!Reality pierced in each word u wrote there.Good one!
whats taking you so long to reply? :(
Very true and some points hit the heart.People, they come and go. We can't blame them if they had to. Right, let's take every moment that's real and keep it in our hearts.
Great post Keshi!
Hey girl!
Beautifully done.
I had a friend once whom I cherished so much. It shook me so bad when we fell apart. I still sink it in even today. I agree with everything you said in this post Keshi, even though I didn't want to. But that's life :)
Take good care!
I have friends that I see regularly and ones that I don't. That's how I classify them.
Hi, Keshi! Really beautiful posting! Very nice flowers!!!
Happy Day!!!!!!!!!
Hi,Keshi-that was one interesting post...made me think back to the past and all the friends I have/had..and,yes,there is one best friend,from school days,but,he's in a neighbouring country here,and,since our jobs took us to different places,it's been tough keeping in touch,but,we still do.
**I'm a very friendly person but I'm a very difficult person to be a friend to.**...that's a nice way to express your thoughts-maybe I identified with it,because I'm similar.And,the reason is the somewhat cynicism that develops with time-being betrayed,hearing about how some friend was laughing at me behind my back,et al.:)And,then,came the realization- one's best friend is one's own self.Do you agree?:)
Happy Easter Gal.
must say a very matured post:)
time changes circumstances changes and people changes too!!
great post, nd I did conform to it a lott :)
Hey you.
Friends come and go. Yup!! But true friends they keep coming back... n they do that just for you!! :)
gud mornin sweets ...how was ur weekend..hope u enjoyed it well.:)...and hoz the sunshine today :)..
urs..hemu..
nothing else matters...
I know what you mean Keshi but sometimes with best friends, we just pick up where we left behind even if we don't meet all the time.
I have a few....crazy ones ;)
Keshi...either I'm jinxed or this post is. Tis is the 4th time that I am trying to comment. Hopefully this goes through.
You'v written it so well girl. Sometimes the same friends we thought we couldn't live without have now grown apart. It hurts when you'v shared so much with a friend and then that person just suddenly moves away (emotionally) and then there are friends with whom distance and time just doesn't count. You meet and you just pick up where you left off.
I miss having close friends around with whom I used to share every single thing. Ya I know people move on etc etc. Still. Especially when we were so close. We had our own space yet we were so close. I think if you want to end a friendship then you owe it to the other person to tell him/ her that instead of just dropping someone like a hot potato. It's like a relationship which comes to an end.
I would just be more hopeful.
All that is harsh practical reality, but then one cannot be in a sceptic state.
Friendship is a boon, relationship is full of expectations and dependencies and demand, but friendship just have agreed bonds.
The old advice to keep your friends close and your frenemies even closer is great...
if you want an ulcer.
where r u babe??havnt seen u around from a long time.
Amazinggggg!!!!!
ty Nikhil!
**that moment,makes me feel weird though I ges I've started to live outta it too
yes, me too. And it gives u REAL comfort and makes u LIVE it to the fullest.
Keshi.
hehehe Happy Easter to u too Nikhil! :)
Keshi.
ty Prakar!
**but then distance did us apart..
And sometimes ppl live close to each other but mentally they drift apart. It happens.
Keshi.
ty Ria!
Im glad u hv found ur soul-mate :)
**And the best thing abt true/real friendship is tht no matter when u meet them, u start from the same point where u had last met
well-said!
Keshi.
hey ty Arv! :)
**but even if its for a while, some people do come into our lives and touch it in a very special way for us to remember them for all our eternity
thats what I mean. It's all momentary.
If I take my blog friends as an example, friends that I hv now are not the friends I had just a year ago! Only very few r still here...and a whole lot of new ones too. Thats life :)
Keshi.
ty Ish HUGS!
ur one such friend...one who always 'remained' in my life, no matter the distance or the circumstances. but even if that changes some day, Im glad that I found u on my way.
**but maybe them and us don't fit in each others lives all the time...a rare few do if at all...but we're never without special someones, are we? faces change...but emotions previal
I so agree. The emotional connection hardly dies.
Keshi.
ty Joyce!
**We tend to call it rubbish because we really do not find such people in our life. The search still continues.
I agree. But in our Search, we always find NEW and MOMENTARY friends. The old ones remain in our MEMORY. Some remain with us in body and soul, but they too hv to leave some day.
**I have only found my parents to be as such.
Parents love us unconditionally cos we r bound by blood. But they too cant be with us forever, can they Joyce?
yes, I hv paved myself a way to survive in a world thats to 'temporary'.
Keshi.
ty Devika!
ur right...we live in each other even if we dun live together :) Well-said there!
Keshi.
ty DDD!
** Friendship is perhaps just as over-rated as professions of undying love that will never change.
spot on! It makes me wanna puke when ppl exaggerate LOVE and FRIENDSHIP, and base impossible expectations from them.
Keshi.
ty Rakesh!
u said that the best...no expectations make us go 'further'.
Keshi.
ty Venus!
It's alright to hv basic expectations in a r'ship...it's natural. But to expect more than what a humanbeing possibly can provide, is just a waste of time, emotions and can be quite taxing on the r'ship itself.
Keshi.
ty Pisku!
**Only, sometimes our expectations of it seem to draw boundaries.
thats right. when 2 ppl r friends, sometimes one can expect more than what the other can BE. Thats when the boundaries appear.
Keshi.
ty Sugar-cube!
**I do not have many close friends like my mates form school who are still very much each other's "best-friend"
well thats what ppl call each other. How do we know what 'BEST' means to each person? :)
So dun be sad. If u cud be a genuine friend to someone at some point in their lives, then u hv been and hv had a FRIEND. That's all that matters.
Keshi.
ty Ash!
**Till now, i was holding grudges against them 4 jst disappearing. But now i want to thank them. We did have some special moments and they did support.
Im glad u hv the heart to see them that way. yes, its the MOMENTS that count.
Keshi.
ty Asha!
Im glad u hv such a good friend in ur life. Wonderful!
Keshi.
ty Aiz!
**The space is needed to keep relations go forever..
I agree. Some ppl just dunno what giving SPACE means. And thats when I drift away from them all :)
Keshi.
ty oo7!
**i am so lucky to have three best friends
so which one out of the 3 is THE BEST? ;-)
Keshi.
ty Harini!
yes ur right. every friend is GREAT at different things. I hv a friend to chat abt guys with, another friend to do shopping with, a friend to drive around with, a friend to go bush-walking with etc etc. :)
**but decided against it as she might just visit my blog and find it..
if I were u, I'd still write it. If ur friend finds out, does it matter? Cos its the TRUTH isnt it? :) And if she's a genuine friend, she has to understand, not be upset with it all.
I've had friends who's ego I've torn apart and yet they remained with me. Same goes to me :)
If u really can 'face' each other while the truth is being laid out on the table, then ur real mates.
Keshi.
ty Suresh!
yes even I feel sad when I think of some of my past mates. there was a girl who was once my so-called 'BEST FRIEND'. We met at Uni, we went out together, we did alot of things together, we helped each other move houses, we were there for each other in every step of our lives, our families became friends too, we were basically the ideal BEST FRIENDS u'll ever get.
And then, something happened to her. Suddenly she became a different person. She stopped calling me. Changed her religion. She ignored all my calls, emails and my desperate attempts to get back the girl I knew...my TRUE FRIEND at the time. Nothing cud bring her back.
It's been a few years now since we last talked. I dun even know where she is! I still hv her number but I know my call will not be responded to.
I'd never hv imagined that we'd be like this some day. But it happened.
Keshi.
hey ty Kartz!
I agree with every word u said.
**it would bring back stuff which I'd preferred were left buried back in time
true...this post brought back some distant memories and I found that the feelings r still very raw...
Keshi.
hey Ria ty!
Keshi.
ty 'nerdy' Tarun!
lol!
A 'wave' indeedz!
**Anyways, the point is I have had different true friends at different point in times.
I agree...very well-said!
Keshi.
aww ty Krys!
Im glad u like my new template :)
**Nothing is forever, as a water in the river - it comes and it goes. Only our hearts remeber forever.
Well-said girl! Thats so true.
Keshi.
**blue and green of course, as our green Earth and blue Sky
yeyyyy! @Krys
Im all for FRESHNESS, HEALTH, PURITY etc :)
Keshi.
As I lay myself to sleep, I wonder about you...I think of the times we've had together...I remember how it all fell apart...I feel the void right now.I have someone as well that a day doesn't pass that I don't wonder what she is doing as well as wishing what she and I had could have worked out. And yes, I have this void that defies being filled.
I'm a very friendly person but I'm a very difficult person to be a friend to.This drives me crazy. I find that I often have a hard time being open and socializing with people I just meet. My "small talk" skills are weak at best and unless I have someone supplying fuel for conversation awkward silences soon replace interesting talk.
Surf's up, come on let's have fun while it lasts, cos we may not get this moment again. And this moment is real. Let's grab it.I have discovered that my best course of action around people is to go ahead and risk making a fool of myself. Which most likely I do but the one out of ten times I don't is worth it.
ty Shachi!
**....but its important to stay connected on a regular basis (and regular cud be your own definition) to keep the friendship alive.
I dunno Shachi. I used to be like that. u know, thinking in terms of 'what's imp' to do, than just being myself. Now I don't think what's imp to do. I just let myself be me. I dun expect anything from my friends and I dun go out of my way to keep something alive. I dun hv to.
Keshi.
ty Diana!
**everyone just comes and goes
ditto!
Keshi.
ty Raysh!
**sometimes, you need to try a bit. maybe the other person needs to know that they mean so much to you that you'll make that extra effort to keep them in your life.
I agree. but I dun TRY to keep anyone in my life. Simply put, I just can't do that. What will be, will be.
Keshi.
ty Susan!
Keshi.
ty Adisha!
The criteria u listed is what every FRIEND should be like. Sadly, not many can live upto it. Once in a while, u find ppl like that and then u've got a cherish them.
I used to hv a criteria for everything in life...now I dun. I just hv a rough sketch but I just go with the flow. cos I realise that humans can never stick to something all the time. we do stray sometimes.
Keshi.
ty Chriz!
**our soul is our best friend keshi
I agree. No one can make u happier than urself.
Keshi.
hey Ki ;-)
Keshi.
ty Jeevan!
ur right...we always 'adjust' or 'compromise' just to keep the peace. the moment we spill the truth, we lose alot of ppl.
Keshi.
Adisha I got that 1st comment too. :) tnxx girl!
And ur spot on!
Keshi.
WC Aradhana and ty! :)
Keshi.
ty Anuj!
**solely bcause we are all at the same place and bachelors .. soon our lives would change
yes...live in the MOMENT! cos soon it'll be a MEMORY.
Keshi.
ty Priya!
Im glad u like my new template. This came after 5 long years of blogging! :)
**Yes it does happen and at times we have lines not to go over even people who are close to us
I so agree! Personal SPACE is needed in any r'ship for it to survive.
Keshi.
I so agree Phoso!
tnxx for being so honest.
Keshi.
ty Southy!
I know her and she's a great person! Good for u 2 :)
**who's indeed my best friend, BEST
but when u say that Southy, ur making al ur other friends LESS valuable, arent u? :)
Keshi.
WB CN!
**"be the friend u want" is what matters, I guess
beautifully put!
**my forever friends are loneliness and boredom, shadow and emotions
if they make u calm, content and happy, it shouldnt bother others what u choose as ur FRIENDS. :)
Keshi.
ty Akanksha! :)
Keshi.
hey Harini!
**whats taking you so long to reply?
aww..long weekend and I was very busy with fam & friends :)
I hope u had a good one too?
Keshi.
ty Iriz!
yes ur right. MOMENTS is all we hv. I used to cling to ppl and try to keep them with me. Now I know I was grossly wrong. ppl dun last, moments do.
Keshi.
ty Sunshine Girl n HUGS!
I know how u feel. Read my reply to Suresh.
Keshi.
ty Grunty!
**I have friends that I see regularly and ones that I don't.
good way to calssify FRIENDS :)
Far apart or not, genuine friends will always stay 'connected'.
Keshi.
ty Dave ;-)
Keshi.
ty Amit!
ur right...urself is ur bestest friend. cos when all ur mates go to sleep, when ur family is tired of listening to ur woes, when ur dog is tired too :), and when ur net friends r busy with their lives, all u hv is YOURSELF.
**,hearing about how some friend was laughing at me behind my back,et al.
that cant be a friend...just a FRENEMY. :)
Im glad u shook em all off from ur life.
Keshi.
ty Diana n same to ya!
Keshi.
ty Kunjal!
**time changes circumstances changes and people changes too
Spot on!
Sometimes I find myself more mature than my aunties n uncles too...cos they EXPECT so much from their fam & friends :)
Keshi.
ty Diya and Im glad :)
Keshi.
hey Reno hows ya? :) long time!
Keshi.
ty Sam!
**But true friends they keep coming back... n they do that just for you
I so agree :) Something keeps u stay in touch somehow.
Keshi.
hey Hemz Im good ty and how r u? I had a very busy long wknd :) A nice one.
Keshi.
hey Vish indeedz!
Keshi.
ty Shionge!
**sometimes with best friends, we just pick up where we left behind even if we don't meet all the time.
yes I agree. I hv 2 mates like that in my life. we live States and countries apart right now, yet whenever we meet we pick up where we left last.
But I dun like to call em my BEST friends...cos even if I meet someone new and make them my friend for a day, I'd hv had something BEST abt them to remember. So all friends I make, no matter how short/long the friendship was for, matters to me and are the BEST for whatever they are unique at :)
Keshi.
ty SMM!
:)
**I think if you want to end a friendship then you owe it to the other person to tell him/ her that instead of just dropping someone like a hot potato
I agree. u dun drop ppl from ur life just like they r a hot potato. Thats not the kind of friendship Im talking abt here.
I mean, when friends find new things in their lives, new paths, new priorities etc, that shouldnt make us sad...and we cant expect them to be just the way they were before. u know what I mean dun ya?
If they r ur real mates, they will come back to u after we give them ample time n space. if they dun come back, then that doesnt mean what u had b4 was fake either. sometimes ppl leave us SMM for no fault of our's or their's.
Keshi.
ty Anuz!
**Friendship is a boon, relationship is full of expectations and dependencies and demand, but friendship just have agreed bonds.
wut d u mean by AGREED bonds?
Keshi.
HAHA Donn well-said!
Keshi.
Ria I was v busy during the long wknd...had a friend over for few days and had alot of parties and family gatherings to attend to as well :)
TY!
Keshi.
ty Aqua_girl!
Keshi.
hello keshi ; )
wow, you've done some remodeling to your place ; ) it's very nice.
nerd? there is nothing wrong with being a nerd...i'm a nerd, too. and i'm ok.
yes, little girls, YOUNG girls- 5,6, and 7 year olds having "girly" parties at the salon!! yes, it's a fact. how sad.
how are you? hope you and your family are doing well.
stay well...hugs & blessings
hey ty BB!
Im sorry abt ur friend. However, by now u wud hv realised that most of us in this world hv such a 'void' in our lives.
** have someone supplying fuel for conversation awkward silences soon replace interesting talk.
me too! omg ur so like me :) I chat alot in Blogville, cos its all to do with WRITING. but if u meet me in real, u will experience alot of SILENCE hehe. unless Im fuelled for interesting convo, I can be very 'strangely' and 'irritatingly' silent.
And thats another reason why Im reluctant abt meeting blog-mates in real. Cos they'd hv EXPECTATIONS of a chatterbox in me, but in person Im silent and difficult to hv a convo with, unless the other person intrigues me with their convo hehehe...
And yes, just like u, I often make a fool of myself too lol!
Keshi.
Coco hey HUGS! So lovely to see u here :)
ur sincere nerd-friend Keshi did a remodelling of her online home yes lol! Glad u like it.
Hope all is well with ya luv!
Keshi.
mornin sweets ..my weekend was boring :(...but it was ok :P..so u had a very busy one :)..cool naa :)..
urs..hemu..
Calling her BEST is not to devaluate anybody else. Out of all my friends, she knows me more than anyone else, for the rest i gotta speak my heart out, with her my face is good enough for her to read me accurately. Instead of best i guess i shud hv called her special...:)
ty Hemz!
Keshi.
ty Southy!
**Instead of best i guess i shud hv called her special.
I agree :)
Keshi.
hiee
sorry i took long too reply. :P
well every time i think of posting about the people whom i cant stand right now and decide against it i tell myself "keshi would have gone ahead with it." but what it would seem like if i do post about the person is, i felt is that she would get real hurt and angry and upset. but what was posting about how irritated i get with her. well i keep telling it to her all the time and it does piss her off... i for one don't think i can be a very true friend to her either. so i thought id just leave it for a while, anyway im not going to be allowed much of computer-time :((
but i will be doing a post on how ive never been able to be "best friends" with somebody...
hope you had a nice weekend.. :D i had one too... for four days :P it just ended yesterday..
btw, my comment doesnt seem to make much sense to me in the first place... ill come back and comment again if i can rephrase it better :)
hey Harini :)
**how irritated i get with her. well i keep telling it to her all the time and it does piss her off
isnt that her problem? not ur's.
whenever friends dun u'stand me or get pissed off for being told the truth, I just let them be. there's nothing more I can do. we always think that there's something we MUST do to get our points across to ppl. but the truth is, DOING NOTHING is the answer after a certain point :)
Keshi.
finally i could comment using my blogger id... mostly i use my gmail id directed directly from my google reader.. thats why i end up commenting in a different id.. but if i do that, ill make it sure that i leave my url along with the comment www.chronicwriter.com
keshi,
i totally agree... i do act like that... she says " and i am feeling so bad because of you!!" and i say, "im sorry, thats what i feel and thats what i say, so i cant help it."
:P i just read my previous comment.. what i meant to say was that it would look like im bitching bout her behind her back... but now after a lot of thought, i am gonna do that post sometime.. well as soon as i feel like it.. :D
thank you sweetie for making me feel like doing it.
*hugs*
dp...
i think i left a comment here...
i cant find it anywhere...
aww ty Chriz!
Keshi.
hey Harini!
**it would look like im bitching bout her behind her back.
no I didnt mean for u to do it that way. I meant, do the post and invite her to read it :)
But I hope Im not encouraging any more trouble for ya!
Keshi.
Devil hey I didnt get a comment from u for this post (but I had one from u in the next post and it's there).
Maybe Blogger ate it. It happens :(
Send it again.
Keshi.
hmm...nice thoughts but i disagree at few places. not coz i live in a fairy world but coz of few experinces.
best/true friend might not be there with you always but will b there wenvr u need.
best/true friend doesnt need a hi hello wassup everyday...he/she needs to know that u r wenvr he/she needs u, even if it is after few months/years. i m tellin u coz it happend 2 me.
there is no differentiation b/w best friend, true friend, real friend...blah blah friend, its just that person who u know will b there wen u need.
y does a person strt goin around and have bf/gf...just to remove their void so tht thy have a person to pour themselves into. dont u thnk tht on a temporary basis thy r their best frind.
but ur bf/gf might not be there with you forever unless its true love but a frind will.
because thts wt makes friendship so beautiful. a true friendship is without expectations.
not neccesarly every person will find that sorta person, but gladly i did. thts y i thing otherwise.
but certainly well written. true from heart.
ty Aditya!
**dont u thnk tht on a temporary basis thy r their best frind.
thats exactly wut I was saying in this post. Its all MOMENTARY.
Keshi.
hmmm...keshi i wsnt tlkin abt friendship ovr thr..
** ur bf/gf might not be there with you forever unless its true love but a friend will.
this is wt i actually wantd 2 say..
newaz cheers
tk cr..!!:)
hey Aditya!
** ur bf/gf might not be there with you forever unless its true love but a friend will
isnt it the same for FRIENDS...they wont be with u forever unless its TRUE friendship :)
The keyword here is 'TRUE'...in any r'ship.
Keshi
Hi Keshi,
I know i'm rather late to comment but pardon me as i was quite busy with my classes besides for you blog i always need extra time as your entries are long....
I'm touched that you feel the same and made you write about it too....
After the post i got to know....i'm not the only one....
Well...i have come to a point....i'm just happy i have friends....perfect or not why bother...no one is perfect after all : )
Agreed 100% Veni and ty! :)
Keshi.
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