Shades Of Charade

Some folks are like ever-changing colors. It's hard to trust the colors seen by night 'cos they'd look different in the morning. I don't like fake hellos and plastic smiles. I dont want praise and glory or honey-coated lies. 'Yes' you answered me last night...'No' you say by the dawn of light...colors seen by candlelight, may not look the same by daylight.

Net friends...is this a provable concept? I have made great many friends here on the net, no doubt about that. Most of us here are blog mates but I'm sure some of you know each other for a longer time and have exchanged emails/phone numbers etc and gone one step ahead in it. But I want to know the meaning of a net friendship with comparison to a non-net friendship. Why I feel I need to know this is 'cos I don't want to be the only one to think that there is actually feelings, emotions and love involved in net friendships. I could be living a one-sided relationship and I could be fooling myself to no ends. I had 4 good friends here - knew them for a long time, exchanged emails etc and they said a million sweet things about me. We built walls of steel around our friendship. But right now, not even the dust of those walls exist. Looks like those walls were nothing but just bits and bytes. And I swear the common reason why they erased 'Keshi' off their memory was 'cos I was being too upfront and I was too much to handle. My crime was my honesty and I know that few things I did/said hurt them. I have apologised but yet none of those many 'sweet' things about me counted in the end. What mattered to them was the one wrong thing I did. In real life, we forgive and forget great many mistakes between good friends and usually we are back on track. Isn't that what's supposed to happen between 'good' friends? Few other friends here I trust but who knows what the future of that will be? It scares me to get attached to people this way and get stabbed by their colorful thorns few months down the track. One by one, few of my close net buddies are showing that this is the most fragile bond on Earth. I sense imitation. Net or not, to me a friend is a friend. But I guess I'm wrong about this. Can someone tell me what a net friendship really is? Do we go about pretending or should we be open and honest about one another even at the risk of being thrown out of their hearts? Or is friendship much more important than our own selves and beliefs?

The colors of net bonds seem to change very rapidly from vibrant shades into light and almost non-visible hues. Why? Is it because no one really cares what happens to the other person 'cos everyone is behind some Id? But don't they realise there's a heart beating behind that Id? I guess it's not the walls that have been built with steel, it's their hearts - they don't melt. People who have told the most sweetest things about me have been the first to fade into the lightest tint ever. I still remain the same shade but you are different, why? A charade of bonds built in bits and bytes and words typed by cold fingers? Please tell me I'm wrong.