Tuesday, April 18

Shades Of Charade

Some folks are like ever-changing colors. It's hard to trust the colors seen by night 'cos they'd look different in the morning. I don't like fake hellos and plastic smiles. I dont want praise and glory or honey-coated lies. 'Yes' you answered me last night...'No' you say by the dawn of light...colors seen by candlelight, may not look the same by daylight.

Net friends...is this a provable concept? I have made great many friends here on the net, no doubt about that. Most of us here are blog mates but I'm sure some of you know each other for a longer time and have exchanged emails/phone numbers etc and gone one step ahead in it. But I want to know the meaning of a net friendship with comparison to a non-net friendship. Why I feel I need to know this is 'cos I don't want to be the only one to think that there is actually feelings, emotions and love involved in net friendships. I could be living a one-sided relationship and I could be fooling myself to no ends. I had 4 good friends here - knew them for a long time, exchanged emails etc and they said a million sweet things about me. We built walls of steel around our friendship. But right now, not even the dust of those walls exist. Looks like those walls were nothing but just bits and bytes. And I swear the common reason why they erased 'Keshi' off their memory was 'cos I was being too upfront and I was too much to handle. My crime was my honesty and I know that few things I did/said hurt them. I have apologised but yet none of those many 'sweet' things about me counted in the end. What mattered to them was the one wrong thing I did. In real life, we forgive and forget great many mistakes between good friends and usually we are back on track. Isn't that what's supposed to happen between 'good' friends? Few other friends here I trust but who knows what the future of that will be? It scares me to get attached to people this way and get stabbed by their colorful thorns few months down the track. One by one, few of my close net buddies are showing that this is the most fragile bond on Earth. I sense imitation. Net or not, to me a friend is a friend. But I guess I'm wrong about this. Can someone tell me what a net friendship really is? Do we go about pretending or should we be open and honest about one another even at the risk of being thrown out of their hearts? Or is friendship much more important than our own selves and beliefs?

The colors of net bonds seem to change very rapidly from vibrant shades into light and almost non-visible hues. Why? Is it because no one really cares what happens to the other person 'cos everyone is behind some Id? But don't they realise there's a heart beating behind that Id? I guess it's not the walls that have been built with steel, it's their hearts - they don't melt. People who have told the most sweetest things about me have been the first to fade into the lightest tint ever. I still remain the same shade but you are different, why? A charade of bonds built in bits and bytes and words typed by cold fingers? Please tell me I'm wrong.

111 Cranium Signets:

southpaw said...

The concept of net friendship has diff meanings and diff consequences from person to person.
For me, most of my real friends were my net friends sometime.
Coming back to the post, if u think they cudn't take ur honesty or upfront nature, its their misery not urs, u dont hv to spend time in thinking about what went wrong...Its we who decide the scale of that honesty and upfrontness and at the same time we shud be ready to taste the same thing at times. And above all ppl tend to forget and forgive negative aspects of friends in real life coz the guilty feeling is more when u see somebody infront of u, while here u just hv to use the iggy tab and we humans hv the tendency to get tempted to te easy way out.
So stop dragging these thoughts along, move on, there r better things waiting for u and thats the bottomline coz I SAID SO.....
Have a nice day buddy...:)

Keshi said...

~~South

u always make perfect sense South...thanks!

**while here u just hv to use the iggy tab and we humans hv the tendency to get tempted to te easy way out.

true...it's just easy to iggi on the net...so most ppl take the easy way out. But ppl who knew u for so long could do that too? Its amazing. Anyways...

I have moved on South..but sometimes it hurts to realise that ppl u cared for had no feelings at all for u..

:) Hope u had a good long weekend...I was sooo busy mate...went to the temple and saw some cute hunks...lol...was wondering why Uttsy wasnt there with me..but she has been running ard causing accidents lol!

Keshi.

KL said...

Oh Crap! Wrote a big para, computer crashed, and everything got lost :(.

I get concerned about any human being, be it be the person I don't know but see him/her everday on the park bench. Thus, I'm also concerned about my net-friends, and I think getting concern is a big part of friendship. Other than that it is a tough question to answer. To answer it, I've to define what is friendship or who are friends? Shall I consider a person friend if she only sweet-talks and then disapper in my time of need? Or shall I call the stranger my friend who helps me and then disappear? If I follow this second definition, then shall I call the farmers who grow my food, the custodians who keep everything clean my friends?

A very tough question indeed...I am yet to find any answer.

ishita said...

hmmm...can't really say na keshi...i know a whole lot of ppl on d net but can say i know only very few ppl close enuff to call them frenz...and here again we've never met or even spoken on d fone...though on chat we might've talked about evrythin under the sun...i am not averse to meeting up wid some of them...sum kind of trust does exist i guess...

in real life it's different in the sense that i can put a face in the conversation...a face with expressions...i can gauge reactions....i can look and sense what's on his/her mind...which on the net i can't sumtimes (though wid a few i think i just can sense...but here again there is d lack of facial expressions...and that does make a whole lot of difference i feel)...

m not sure if u're gettin this...i guess u are?! ... BUT fact is a fren will take u for what u are...i am d same person in real and virtual...i tried the fake id/ psuedonym routine but i cldn't stop being me...and i guess i can safely say ppl have accepted me for what i am...

and keshi...real or virtual...sumtimes we do outgrow relationships...it's just that in real life u have the advantage of a face to face talk...on the net u can choose just to ignore sumone...as simple as that...

and fact remains be true to urself...a good fren will stand by u no matter what...i know that coz i have someone like that in my life...the rest come and share a time and space in ur heart and move on...that is life...u take the good memories and discard unpleasantness...

cheer up and keep smilin:-)

Outdoorsy Girl said...

Great post, Keshi, and very thought provoking. I believe that a true, deep net friendship can exist. But I feel that what Southpaw said about taking the easy way out when you don't have to face a person is true.

Sounds like you've really gotten burned by a few "friends" out there on the net. But keep in mind that if these net "friends" don't appreciate your honesty or do not have it in them to forgive a comment that hurt them (which if they would take the time, they would see they wrongly interpreted you and would see that you never meant to hurt) then these probably wouldn't be a true friend in "real" life, either.

You're awesome...stay honest...stay true and whoever can't handle it will be the one at a loss! :)

Cheers mate!

southpaw said...

That made some sense??? Great finally managed to convey my real feelings successfully.
Well i didnt have what u call a great weekend, except on sunday when i spent the whole day with my lovely wife and went to a party later in the evening.
lol...the bootilicious one had nothing to do with my accident, but ya i learned that she caused a lot of casualties in the water kingdom on sunday, i was just wondering that if she cud do such a thing with the shorts on, what she wud hv doen with the lingeries which i actually suggested her...lol...:):):):)

coolvir said...

Its really amazing how net has become an important part of socializing.....
I myself had made so many friends through blogspot and Orkut and am in constant touch with all my old buddies.
Btw have you read my post "A known stranger"...i wrote a couple of days ago....its about a similar experience i had with a net pal a week ago.

SamY said...

hmm ... what a mushy post *sob sob* :)

the ones who hurt are the ones dearest, some never realize it n walk away 4getting the niceties, n some stick no matter what ... so don't mull too much over it ... stick to those who stick with you

as 4 net friendship ... therz a certain curtain of anonymity which guards you ... so ppl c you the way you want them to see you (coz that how you project yourself) ... u'v got control over that ... more than what u could be in person ;) ... so it takes that much longer for me to entrust someone I meet on the net

when you have expectations, it hits you when tides turn. bring down your expectation on people n u'll breeze thru

on the bright side I have made some gud buddies on the net as well (not that they'v always been honest)

don't try to reduce these into absolutes, esp humans thoughts n emotions :)

btw dyu pick the images for ur post or write ur post for the images u pick :D

SamY said...

whenever I hear the words 'change of colours' 1st thing that comes to my mind is aurora borealis ... just google for it and chk out the image results ;)

Sunita said...

I am yet to learn the concept of net friendship because i am pretty new at this arena.

Jewel Rays said...

Oh Wow Keshi i just posted a post somewhat related to yours. not really alike but along the same lines i guess. That is so IRONIC..WOW..hahaha...

Great minds think alike..haha..:P

well yeah what you expressed in ya post means much and speaks much. Its truth indeed. People paint out worlds with all their words but just how much of it is true. not a fan of fake hellos as well. i just wish people will be more genuine especially when the other party is genuine..haiz..

but again if they were geunine the question will be will we be able to handle it..if it comes to correction. but whatever it is i still think flattery goes out. i am truly not a fan on flattery. i prefer speaky mind outright talk me. gosh i love this post. so in the house with me..:)

uttara said...

i agree with south ..pllsssssss move on .. dont be upset in foolish ppls behaviour.. they will realise n come bk if they r worth while ...

real frnds act dumbber than net frnds which is even more hurting ... they act a as a jack ass ... so it ppl .. where there r ppl u will have all kind of emotions ..:)

so take it easy lady ....

me here na ur net friend ... HUGGGGZZZZZZZZZ
dont u think even if u get 1 from the whole lot ur efforts of being here is made???

am happy i got few .. u, raj,preet n amu ... so y worry .. be happy

hugggzzzzzzz

Trée said...

I have had many of the same thoughts Keshi and I'm afraid I have no answers. Relationships on the net seem to come and go as quickly as the on/off switch on our computers. I do admire your forthright honesty. Refreshing to say the least.

uttara said...

soutthyy

lollll

ya there wer lot of casualties w.o we both wearing the skimpiest out fit .. i donno wat wud have happened then ... ...lolll OMGGGGG

i wud have need a body guard then ..HAHAHHHAHAHAHA
i wud have called u only for that ..kidding ;)
loll

heheheh ....

southpaw said...

@Uttara
Calm down bootilicious calm down!!! u don't hv to take ur frustrations out like this, we r really sorry that the hunt didn't go well on sunday...lol...we really feel for u baby...winks...next time pls wear the outfits i suggested u, the success rate wud surely improve.

praveen said...

ooh keshi...we definitely know you ur meaning over here...

Net or not, to me a friend is a friend.

i would definitely agree on this one..i love my net friends just the way i love my other friends..and have never treated them like second class..

sometimes one can really find gems up here...and those good frens of mine you know urself dont you..y even amu and me got to know each other from the blog world when we are actually studying in the same campus..

so, keshi...just don't bother abt those who treat u like shit..it only shows that they're not fit to receive ur love..there are others who care abt you just as much..maybe you just dont really notice it...

stay strong dear, and remember..u ture frens will accept u just the way you are and stick by you no matter what...luv ya

southpaw said...

@Uttara
But dumbo those clothes turned out bad omen for the whole mission....lol

uttara said...

MWAHAHAHHAHAH ...


it was quite hoooooooottttttttt loll

am calm gabbar ;) ... dont worry .. i told na u be my body guard then ..hehheheh ...

lolllllll

bad omen ..lolll

gawwd i dint take a snap wither ..;) u wud have known then ;) ..loll but it was oo lala ...

hehehhe ...

Ghost Particle said...

if you view this new networked relationship as a new paradigm then maybe this is the next step in human evolution. I can sense so much love and honesty here, that there must be some people who take all this seriously. Maybe we can form a world where it is true, away from the malices of some people, this new-friends can be true friends. Everything else...only time will tell.

PRADEEP K. said...

Everyone is not alike, dear Keshi. Rest assured, you have some true friends, who love you for who you are. Net or not, they exist. :)

Rock on, Keshi!

Sujit said...

I always had this question in mind why do people whom we call as freinds chnage so fast. Espicially in the net world!!... I too had some good freinds.. but all vanished except one!! However their imprints and words still hang around. But, it does happen with our freinds who are in person also.. suddenly they vanish. But what really matters is the ability of the person to detach without any bounds of consequence, without trying to know what would happen to the person who think he/she is their freind!!.. Things still puzzle me.... about freinds whom we meet on net!.. Still i haven;t changed.. !

Everything is just words..!!! no action at all..!!

Actually i was about to write a post on this..!! But you are grabing the pie earlier!! than me!.. this is the second one :(..

:: The Protector :: said...

Wow Keshi i just now read a post somewhat related to yours by Amy. coming to post... a firend is a firend whether he is virtual or real doesn't matter, yeah there are some peoples who play with the innocence of the other.

no expections no loss

take care
Cheers!
:)

sebia said...

Hi there..
Back in your comment section after a long time..why?
and interesting post and nice reading all the canons,and bullets cming moi way:p..
u want moi sword keshi as well 2 butcher me in 2 tiny tiny tikkas and boties:p
Net friends..who are they sweety?
those who stood for u?and let every body else trash them ?cuz they believed in you whn ppl from allover were bz trying 2 butcher u?
yup those friends were biased about u,cuz they loved u the way u were..so they fought with all only to defend KESHI:)
and then wht happened,they were being trashed just for the heck of it in the same comment box of yours..and that time no COMMENT MODERATION were enabled:)))so THOSE SO CALLED friends stopped coming and commenting here,cuz SELF ESTEEM is something which is very prescious,and mud slinging and accussing people were never the forte....
keshoo baba,virtuality is just an extention of our reality..so net friends are as real as virtual friends are..
I dont like to indulge in 2 a spree to remind ppl stuff..but do u remember a time,just a lil bit whn everybody were screaming about KESHI and 1 girl SEBIA stood on IT for keshi..and thn all of them were running after her life..like that of a spanish bull:p...she lost so many good friends cuz of that,but she didnt went in to a publicizing spree..cuz she doesnt believe in thumping the ground to make other ppl realize and recognize..anyways if u have time..just dig in the past posts of mine..whn ITCC and all were grilling me for u:)
its very ez,for u keshi,to get hurt about something,and then write a post about it,u are good in sharing ur personal emotions..i am not..the reason i didnt cm here and write a comment..was the fear of same mud slinging which sometimes happen here..where u dont stand up to defend VIRTUAL FRIENDS..u wrote wht u felt like,i wrote in answer wht i felt like..and disabled comments..cuz i didnt want 2 indulge in to the spree of ppl trashing u and me or religion..and if u read my post clearly..i was upset about the comments more thn ur post....and keshi u sweetly dismissed me as we were never that close..werent we?
guess we werent:)
and yeah 1 thing..which everybody accussed me of..
i am not some religious fanatic,and i respect every religion and faith,above all FRIENDS..
tc

Die Muräne said...

okay, keshi, I tell you, you're wrong! lol

where ever your friend is, doesn't matter. just go inside and try to feel a connection. Only there you can decide!

But as in "real life"... nothing last forever. Live is change and if someone feels friendship is over for now or forever, don't hold, just let go. Because true love or friendship never holds back.

So my advice is: just stay, be open, be avaiable. to show your love

the_ego_has_landed said...

"But don't they realise there's a heart beating behind that Id?"

this made sense man! common...whoever they are they should take upfront comments and crtitcism in a positive manner..and y get so seriously affected? Dont u blog and make frens here to hear their opinions and comments? Its silly..

n keshi honestly I'm always extra careful of ppl who flatter lol...just be careful k:)

Known Stranger said...

a very good concept you had posted keshi. i had penned my thoughts in the name of name less friend in my blog with the thought of net friends.

hey.. thank you for dropping by and enjoying my hycu's

Known Stranger said...

http://retributions.wordpress.com/2006/04/12/islam/

i found your link here.

Known Stranger said...

thanks for the comments on dews

Orikinla Osinachi. said...

My Darling Keshi,
If I may quote you, "Net or not, to me a friend is a friend".

I spread out my heart to you over the expanse of the Internet.

Why?
It is called natural vibrations of the cerebral sensations of the human id.

The closest person to me as at present is Kye Lee, my Malaysian Muse who visited my blog on the Darfur Crisis and our dialogue continued via e-mail and friendship blossomed and we have shared our most intimate moments over the net without physical contact since we met in the blogosphere on January 6, 2006. And we have exchanged over 700 e-mails from January 6 to date. She understands me more than all the members of my family and others physically presnt with me in Nigeria. We correspond daily. She motivated me to write my book "The Language of True Love". Because, our love is true and is not based on our physical attractions. Our love is based on genuine attraction from our conservations.
From our senses. The ether of pure and true romance is the essence of human existence.

When you communicate with someone you have a strong feeling for through your senses, the vibrations travel at the speed of light to register on the sensory nerves of both of you.
How can you explain feeling horny while thinking of someone you love even though you are millions of miles apart?

Yes, millions of people online tell lies and exchange fake photographs claiming to be what or who they are not. But Kye Lee and I don't have to do that, because we don't owe each other any debt and we did not meet on online Dating site and telling lies to seduce each other. Our primary concern for the wellbeing of humanity brought us together. She knows more about the issues of human crisis in Africa and Asia than most people of her age online. Then, she composes awesome poems and stories touching the heart and soul of anyone who reads her. She is down to earth and honest to God. Finally, she is not selfish.
And those who know her in person in Malaysia have testified of her good nature and honesty.

Here in Nigeria, the closest female to me is in fact the highest paid model in Nigeria who is more sensual than intellectual and selfish and wants to monopolize me for her selfish passions. Yes, I give her some time. But, why my heart is, is where my treasure lies, in my beloved Malaysian Muse. But, our words are our most precious possessions and our words are the utterance of our conscience, the essence of our existence.

Then, after Kye Lee, the next most outstanding person I have met online from all the thousands of blogs and forums I have been visiting is you Keshi. And the issues of the facts of life you have addressed on your blog are more universal in content and context than the "apologia to trivia" minutiae of the "I woke up and had a sandwich" blogs populating the virtual world.

I have become hooked by the subject matter of your intellect.

As Jesus Christ said:
"O vipers' brood, how can you speak what is good when you are evil? For it is from the overflow of the heart that the mouth speaks"~ Matthew 12; 34 (Holy Bible.)

We can only fool fools. So, those who are Internet players and deceivers are in actual fact fooling themselves. Because sooner or later, the truth would be made manifest.

I wear my heart on my sleeves and I don't mind even if millions of strangers trample on it. For my heart will outlive them.

God bless.

susubala said...

It is a wide topic to be discussed. But sure for onething Keshi...i've good friends through net and u r the one !

cheer-up and ur post was really a thought provoking and made me think too !

Ash said...

Hey girl .......
buck up!!!

hows u ...
and how are things around in the land of the kangaroo.......
well get me a koala bear if u come down to india sometime ;)

net friends.......
i have nothing negative to say as the few friends i have made here have been very good ones ....
it is no one sided affair .....it goes both ways...

we are sceptical about this net boning as the face is invisible, the location is unknown.....and the belief is or should be maintained on the words that are typed in.......

well bits and bytes it might be but if there is a bond, there are friends too all around .....

cya
and keep smiling

Ash

Keshi said...

~~KL

aww I know how it feels to lose the whole comment :( But thanks for typing it up again....ur a swt hrt!

**I get concerned about any human being..

me too...its in my nature...

And ur right again...it's a tough one to define...anyone is a friend...as long as there's contagious contact, there's friendship...





~~Ishita

hey Ishipishi muahhh! I understand u perfectly mate :):) btw did I say u make perfect sense most of the time? U just say it honestly and thats what I like abt ya...


** but i cldn't stop being me..

yes ur right...one can try to hide themselves but for how long? cos very soon ur real self comes out. Its like how that anonymous person tries to abuse me, clone me using a million Ids for over 2yrs now...but whatever Id he/she uses, his/her real self shows in EVERY comment and he/she cant hide from being him/her self :)


**sumtimes we do outgrow relationships

and ur right abt that too...some ppl must have grown out of me too...thanks for bringing that up, it really made me think...hugggggggz!

Keshi.

Jeevan said...

Any thing can be, but when we tell friends, they are friend, I cant find any difference with net-friend or neighbor or school friend. The friends, who are near us, will help immediately, but the net-friend can’t help directly. I got net-friend (mostly blog) for at the last one year, I have talk to some through phone and met them in my house. I think some people will not give more response to net-friend, because some think net is just for fun, but currently I don’t have friends, so I thing the net-friends are my real friend. Hope I will get a good friend soon who I can touch, do happy fight, teasing each other and play.

Comment for the last post (the lone traveler)

You ask me:

I know u have asked me not to ask WHY, but Im compelled to ask...cos I feel u need to break out of those chains and be free...atleast every now n then...can I be of any help?

My answer is Muscular Dystrophy (a diseases that affected me), were I cant do any thing on my own.

Keshi said...

~~Outdoorsy_girl

hey Girl thanks :)

**then these probably wouldn't be a true friend in "real" life, either.

aww thanks...but I dunno if they feel the same away abt me...but its ok. I have taught myself not to bother abt that too...as long as I know I havent hurt anyone intentionally and as long as I havent let them down when they needed me...




~~Southpaw

hey South thanks!

lol Uttsy turned the water kingdom upside down ha? Were u driving towards there that day? lollz!




~~Coolvir

hey Vir hows ya?

** amazing how net has become an important part of socializing.....

so true...and alot of ppl even get married thru the net now :):)

I guess I havent rea dthat post of ur's...let me go see it...thanks!




~~Samy

hehe thanks alot mate...u really put some great thoughts there..some good advice for me...

**bring down your expectation on people n u'll breeze thru

I always wanted to stick by this...and to a certain extent I have done well cos I dun expect much now...but sometimes u want to know why good friends behave in a certain way...but yeah, in future no stupid n childish attempts to know all the WHYs :) Thanks again mate!

abt my pics...well I write the post and then choose the pics...its easier that way na :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Sunita

hey girl...yeah tell me when u have learnt it ok, muahhh!




~~Jewel_Rays

Hi Amy I missed ya tonz! So good to have u bakk...and we both wrote on similar lines..lol we r telepathic I think :):)

**but again if they were geunine the question will be will we be able to handle it

good Q but whats the point pleasing ppl when ur not what u portray to be? I mean what kind of ppl get joy out of it? I dun get it...hehe mebbe I need to leave the net cos it's quite hurtful to form r'ships here and then find out that these ppl never really took u serious...

thanks Amy I know for sure that ur one of the few genuine ppl on the net...huggggggz!




~~Uttara

Uttsy Hugggggggz! I know u r one in a million...I know that for sure!

**dont be upset in foolish ppls behaviour

I dunno if its them or me that's foolish :(


**real frnds act dumbber than net frnds which is even more hurting

lol ok do I know this real friend?

yes Im truly glad I have few golden friends on the net than a 100000 plastic ones...thanks n huggggggggz!

btw u destroyed the water park visitors...I mean the guys..lol goshhhh!





~~Tre

hey mate hows ya?

**Relationships on the net seem to come and go as quickly as the on/off switch on our computers.

aww so well-put...looks like it na...how sad...but well there r few good ppl out there...like u, hugggggggz mate!




~~Praveen

hey girl u always make me feel good...I luv u and honestly u have always been a genuine kind-hearted and loving friend to me...ty!

**..and have never treated them like second class..

true..I dun either cos these r ppl too...but alot of my own friends seem to think this is just the net so lets just forget her...it's fine with me now...cos I really dun wanna cry for something that dun deserve my tears...




~~Ghost_Particle

hey mate...hows u? :)

** I can sense so much love and honesty here, that there must be some people who take all this seriously.

aww thats was very beautifully put! yes there must be...and Im one and ur another...and most of the ppl here too :) how nice ha? hehehe...I guess I wanna hug u now...huggggggggggz! TY!




~~Pradeep.K

Pradeep hugggggggggggz ur one too! For sure! Thanks so much for that funny card...lol it was SOOOOO funny omg I laughed so much! hahahahaha!




~~Sujit

hey Sujit join the club...its the same with me...well but I have to count all of u as some very genuine ppl...so Im happy :) I have some great friends here too...

**Everything is just words..!!! no action at all..!!

yes...I guess thats cos net is all abt words...and some ppl r generous with that here :):)

no matter what, dun change who u r...be urself always mate.




~~Vishnu

**no expections no loss

Spot on, ty Vishnu!


Keshi.

burf said...

i helluva emotinal slap that is

keep it up baby ;)

:D

uttara said...

keshi ...lolll

**lol Uttsy turned the water kingdom upside down ha?

yes ... hehehhe naa

Were u driving towards there that day? lollz!

dreaming abt me i guess ... HAHAHAHHAHAHAH

lollll

muuuaaaahhhh


***I dunno if its them or me that's foolish :(

sometimes the situation is such u gotto let it go n get back to life ...:)

try n overlook ....

**lol ok do I know this real friend?

yess u do know him .. n flirted with him crazilyyy one point of time ;)

**
yes Im truly glad I have few golden friends on the net than a 100000 plastic ones...

i too felt the same way .. cos am not a fake so i donno how many of them r here ... but am lucky to find few who r sweet enough n loving to the core .. am happy ...:)


**btw u destroyed the water park visitors...I mean the guys..lol goshhhh!

goossssshhhhhh for a sec i thought i was a bull dozer ...LMAO ...

ok ya there was a havoocccc .. cos no 1 were in our league ;) .. as southy said i donno wat wud have happened if we were in our sexiest outfit ...hehhehehe

ok stop thinking n come back to life ..lollll

PRADEEP K. said...

Dear Sebia,

"...net friends are as real as virtual friends are."

I agree with you wholeheartedly.



"i wrote in answer wht i felt like..and disabled comments.. cuz i didnt want 2 indulge in to the spree of ppl trashing u and me or religion..and if u read my post clearly..i was upset about the comments more thn ur post..."

I cannot agree with these statements. Kindly do read my explanation:
Comments on any post are nothing but an expression of opinions from different people. They form the base for healthy academic discussions that enrich both, the author and the readers. I do not understand why you consider it as "trashing". I believe that you have taken the comments very personally, rather than treating them as opportunities to share your views.


"i am not some religious fanatic,and i respect every religion and faith"

I respect you for that. However, I have one simple question for you. Do you not disrespect the crimes that people commit in the name of any religion?

karmic_jay said...

I could write a treatise on this one. :-) Nyah just kidding.
It all depends on what we expect from net friendships. Granted we all have id's and nicks behind which there are real people, but the flipside of it is it can be used by people to be who not care cos of the anonymity.
Can you build net friendships? Yes I beleive you can. AS you might have guessed from a post on my blog, I hang out at the liberal/progressive blog (Eschaton). Over the past couple of years we have gotten to know people even met, and one does form bonds and friendships.
When we had to go India cos my wife *A* lost her brother unexpectedly late last year, I was not ont he blog and people noticed it. It was heartening to see an e-mail from one of them, she had written to find out what was up with the absence. We are all scattered across the US, but a bunch of them are in NYC which a cpl of hours from where we live, so I might go and see them next time they get together.
So yes we do form bonds, are they deep? I don't know, only time will tell.
Part of the reason I started a blog was just cos it was a way ot just sort of talk about things, regardless of anyone reading it. But partly was also cos with my long commute and all I don't often get a chance to reach out to people, make friendships. So the blog does help. It's nice to know I have a few everyday readers even though I may not have something fun or interesting to say always (thanks for reading my blog :).
Will this last I don't know. I have tried to be upfront about who I am. I have contact info, a recent picture of me. I sort of hope that helps to sort of break the ice.
I would suggest to not try to let people get to you although it is hard. Also I tend to generally believe in the better side of human beings, so for every shmuck out there there are a lot more nice people.
Someone sais we outgrow people sometimes. I don't think you outgrow real friendships, you outgrow acquaintences. Friendships grow, evolve and mature over time.
I don't know you and some of the other bloggers i regularly visit, but I do care for all of you. I would not visit the blog otherwise.
So take care pal and remember you are thought of warmly whoever you are. :-), as for those who don't have your friendship, its their loss.

Zombie said...

I used to get attached insanely to people I met online. Not anymore. I may care/respect about them now, but for me to go all out, I need to meet them. Meetings change everything, and I have come to believe that after having met atleast a dozen people from net.

desperado said...

i have made friends over the net through this blog world. I wont say that we have come very close and know everything about each other...but yet i have made one grt friend who has helped me in knowing myself better.
So i guess it is worth the effort.
And i dont think new friendships can sustain long if you keep the past in your mind. There may have been certain not so good experiences but then generalising it doesnt make sense to me.
Strong friendship bonds can be made even through these bytes

But still its all easier said than done and trusting someone is real difficult , even when you know the person in real life.

Keep Smiling buddy. Brighter colours await you in your life ahead

Yashita said...

I dont know keshi, I do have online frnds, and I love talking to them...really look forward to talking to them...but sumwhere a net bond *is* a fragile one...no matter wat, a friend in real life is much more 'real' na? atleast for u it was only friendship, sum ppl fall in love thru chats and e-mails, online relationships though exciting can get tiring and are indeed like a charade, I mean how well can U get to know a person throu e-mails??? but still, a few sour incidents should not make u throw away such a wonderful medium...

you mite have heard this before...this is sumthing I tell myself wenever I feel betaryed and hurt...

"maybe God wants us to meet a million wrong people so that wen we meet the right person, we know how to be glad..." maybe it's true...a few failed realtionships, online or offline are good...we can always learn and make better friends...keep the faith...take care
(sorry if I sounded a lil preachy:))

rebel_on_loose said...

Again a real thoughtful post from u Keshi...
"A charade of bonds built in bits and bytes and words typed by cold fingers? "
I don't think this is always the case Keshi...coz i strongly feel that 'blogging' in particular reflects much more about the person than say just chatting or sumtimes even real life coz when u jot down ur thoughts in isolation ur much more likely to write uninhibited than u wud speak out face to face.
However the problem arises when the same words r misinterpreted by others since sumtimes the tone and tenor of words can easily get misunderstood without proper context.
As far as people putting up a false mask/charade is concerned...i find it pretty bewildering...coz sooner or later their true self wud come out anyways.
I'm not sure about online yet but at least in real life specially at work i've come across manyy ppl who pretend to b friends but actually try to rise up by stepping over ur shoulders.
Needless to say even if such ppl reach the top they wud find it a very lonely place to b.

:P fuzzbox said...

Friends should be friends no matter if online or off. But it is good to be a little hesitant until you have time to know someone in whatever venue before trusting heart and soul in anyone.

niki yokota said...

what is a net friendship?
for me, net friendship is like ocean. good to see, good to hear the sound of waves. ^^
im tooo lazy to reply mails and IMs tho...

Stud said...

Babesterness,

" I still remain the same shade but you are different, why? A charade of bonds built in bits and bytes and words typed by cold fingers? Please tell me I'm wrong. "

I somewhere read that women respond to stress with a cascade of brain chemicals that causes them to make and maintain friendships even if it's online. Indeed net friendship is special(surely for me). They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gap, and help us remember who we really are. By the way, they may do even more so for women coz' women have a larger behavioral repertoire than just fight or flight:) I think, whoever amongst us have a close friend slash net friend slash confidante is more likely to survive any experience without any new physical impairments or permanent loss of vitality.

Whereas first thing men do is let go of friendships everytime they get overly busy with work and family or even remotely offended(Do they really worth a tear drop?).

And to answer your 'words typed with cold fingers' bit, keshister...know this, it isn't hard for men to realize that the salvation lies just a mouseclick away if things aren't quite exactly the way they would have preferred. Nonethless, i believe care is the ingredient that keeps true friendships alive despite net, separation, distance, or time. Care gives latitude to another person and gets you past the dislikes and annoyances. Quite simply, caring sustains love.

I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to fall
I'll be there for you, cause I've been there before
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too

Aryan

Autumn Storm said...

This is something that has been coming up just lately. I think, we have two breeds here, one that invests and one for whom it is superficial, virtual, temporary, fleeting with no real emotion or importance attatched.
I know, I've been lucky to meet some really wonderful and completely genuine people, perhaps I've been luckier than most. Anyway, Kesh, you certainly are not the only one to invest real emotion in the friendships here - unfortunately you got burned in these cases. The best kind of friend will tell it like it is, good or bad, admire you for that - their loss, anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.
Good post, Kesh. Hope you have a good rest of the day, x

>|' ; '| said...

i dont think all people are like that...i guess theres a saturation limit to everything.i believe that emotions are involved wherever a human being is involved.be it on net or in real life...i guess u gota move on..

Orikinla Osinachi. said...

Okay, let's laugh for a while.

I met an online friend who told me that people called her Serena Williams and added that she was prettier than the two Williams sisters. Then we agreed to meet and I looked forward to meet the sexy Serena Williams' look-alike. But when I saw her, I thought the cave woman just resurfaced in the 21st Century! And she even needed a shaving powder for her hairy face. She was short and had funny legs.I gave the chocolate and book I bought for her and endured our conversations as I promised to take her to a concert. She kept on feeling inferior until I left her.

I did not allow my buddies or girlfriends to see her. I took her to a cyber cafe and left her there for over two hours whilst I went to visit my relations and friends. That was the end of the story.

I was offended, because she lied online.

I have a visible life online with so many professional references and my photograph is available on a professional site. So, I cannot be posing and posturing to be who or what I am not.

Personally, I don't appreciate anonymous visitors to my blogs.

Again, some online visitors have ulterior motives. Because, I have had the experience of one of them asking me to introduce her to one of my associates and after that she disappeared.

My final take on this is, please beware of strangers on the www.
Because, predators have been discovered lurking behind online profiles masquerading as your well-wishers or "friends".

Seeing is believing.

God bless.

The Phoenix said...

I would say that a friendship over the net is at least one step shy of a real in person relationship. With some anonymity, and that lack of meeting in the flesh, it's still not a complete relationship.

Chemistry, for example, is never fully known until you meet. Any kind of relationship has those intangible dynamics that you can't put on paper.

So many people see online relationships as equal to other relationships, and I think that's where a lot of people are disappointed.

You need to see an online relationship for what is is...a good beginning.

Dalicia said...

keshi, here's my email

americasiana@yahoo.com

it's quite hard to say. i have been netting for quite a while. the person maybe chatty on the net but not in real life.

overall, my experience meeting netfriends has been a good one.

but for me, i feel more comfortable sharing my thoughts and feelings with my friends or netfriends that are FAR-FAR-AWAY. i don't people talking about my problems to everyone.

well, it's quite hard to judge the person's words on the net.

anyways, people do come and go.
but if he/she is your friend. he will stay with you :)

sittingnut said...

heyy!
good to see you back :-)
hope you enjoyed the holidays i did.

as for friends ,the trouble is we can never know them completely, even offline ones, no matter how much we interact with them. they might fulfill all the requirements of friendship(if there are such things) at one time and not be there sometime else.
people change and then change again. that's life.
we should be honest about ourselves and our expectations of others (not just friends) constantly, that is the only way. otherwise we would be in for unexpected heartbreak. one cannot escape heartbreak altogether by being honest but one may escape the disappointment.
it is of course easier for a rather cynical cold fish like me to say things like above. it's quite another for a warmhearted angel like you to feel them.
that you feel them and write about them in such posts like these and the response you get shows how filled with love the world actually is and how like you most ppl are even if they disappoint once in a while. think of that.

hope you have great day :-)

tsduff said...

Hi Keshi,

I've always really enjoyed your topics, and the way you respond to each and every comment with honesty and humor. Personally, I feel like I am the same person online as I am off line. What you read is what you get. Guess there are a great many folks who just can't shed the mask for anyone, and I find that sad.

Thanks for your great presence online. I get the feeling that you are what you seem to be - a warm and real heartbeat behind the ID :-)

Maya Cassis said...

Girl,You have been tagged!

Keshi said...

~~Sebia

hey Sebzz good to see u here...I thought u'd never speak to me again...


**and interesting post and nice reading all the canons,and bullets cming moi way:p..

did u feel it coming ur way, WHY? U havent done anything wrong to me...u only 'misunderstood' me. Some of the ppl I wrote this post for may not even be reading this.


**Net friends..who are they sweety?
those who stood for u?and let every body else trash them ?cuz they believed in you whn ppl from allover were bz trying 2 butcher u?
yup those friends were biased about u,cuz they loved u the way u were..so they fought with all only to defend KESHI:)

Sebzz I didnt ask any body to defend me. If u think u were biased in trying to defend me, then u havent trusted me in the first place :) U know the anonymous losers and ITCC tried their mighty best to get me down but na I never was upset by them. Such crap dun affect me. If anyone was abused and cloned and wut-not, it was Keshi who got the worst treatment on the net. But Im still here, smiling :) I know that few of my friends were there for me, but if u say they were BIASED, then r u suggesting that everything that skank ITCC said abt me might have been true? lol I hope not Sebzz. And Sebzz he/she loves u and it was not so hard for u to handle him/her and I dun think u got abused the way I did. U know, some friends just left me cos they coudlnt handle this anonymous abuse. So d u call such friends 'friends'?


**and then wht happened,they were being trashed just for the heck of it in the same comment box of yours..

who r u talking abt? I dun get it. In my comment section, nobody gets trashed. I keep all comments as long as they r within the 'decent' limits. If someone dun like something another person said here (and its not abuse) I cant help it Sebzz. Rem how much I got 'trashed' in all ur blogs' comment sections...did I stop visiting u? NO. Cos what mattered to me was YOU guys...not the trashy comments from losers that I dun even know. Even in ur blog, I got trashed heaps...but I still kept visiting u Sebzz...up until very recently. U never came to my blog in a long while (not that Im holding anything against u for that). U were in most blogs and u keep in touch with most past IT chatters. But if u consider me such a close friend, couldnt u have dropped me a msg some time? What sparked our old friendship was that Veil post..why Sebzz? Couldnt u have commented on my A FAITHLESS JOURNEY post or any other post for that matter? Why just this one? And it wasnt abt u...it was abt fanatics.


**THOSE SO CALLED friends stopped coming and commenting here,cuz SELF ESTEEM is something which is very prescious,and mud slinging and accussing people were never the forte....

hahaha...ur telling me this Sebz?? In all of those so-called friends' blogs, I was the one who was trashed, cloned, laughed at, racist jokes spewed at...but I still visited ur blogs cos some loser's crap thoughts didnt matter to me...and not that I didnt have any self-esteem either but I wanted to be with my friends..so I closed my eyes and my mind to those trashy comments abt me and still visited ALL ur blogs. But some of u chose to drop me like a hot potato...why?


**she lost so many good friends cuz of that,but she didnt went in to a publicizing spree..cuz she doesnt believe in thumping the ground to make other ppl realize and recognize..

yes I rem...but I didnt ask u to stand by me Sebzz and lose ur friends...I was all alone in being trashed left right and center...and I still get trashed but do I care? becos he/she is a mental patient and I have mercy for such ppl. It may not be ur style to write abt ur personal experiences in ur blog...but it's my style. And I get alot of great advice from all these ppl here...and they didnt choose to leave me just cos I had some fanatic stalking me everywhere. They just come here to learn something from me and also to teach something to me...so I appreciate their views and I like sharing with them my personal stories. Not that many other IT friends r ard for me to talk abt anything either.


**u wrote wht u felt like,i wrote in answer wht i felt like..and disabled comments..cuz i didnt want 2 indulge in to the spree of ppl trashing u and me or religion..

who trashed ur religion Sebz? D u consider me such a low person with no morals or values as to trash someone else's faith? Everyone here was talking abt fanatics...and u cant deny the fact that loads of Islam followers r becoming dangerously fanatic these days...and that was the issue...not ur religion Sebzz. IFYI I have very good muslim friends and they found this post quite true and none of them were offended. Thats why I dun get why u and Jackal got so upset abt it.



**and if u read my post clearly..i was upset about the comments more thn ur post....and keshi u sweetly dismissed me as we were never that close..werent we?
guess we werent:)

were we that close Sebz? take a look at this...Tanvi came crashing down on me cos she claims u r one of her very 'close' friends..and that u guys chat everyday etc. When did we last chat Sebz? Mebbe a year or 2 ago...and even tho I was on on ur blog up until very recently, u were not in my blog for ages...even b4 the Veil post. It doesnt matter to me but my point is how d u define me as a 'close' friend then? We were not in touch for so long Sebzz. Yes we were good friends back then but isnt it a bit too much when Tanvi and U tell me that I should have asked u b4 writing that post? WTH it wasnt abt u! And thats my point.


**and yeah 1 thing..which everybody accussed me of..
i am not some religious fanatic,and i respect every religion and faith,above all FRIENDS..

No one accused u Sebz. U went and wrote a post claiming a good friend of ur's who u trusted etc was so prejudiced, biased etc etc. ppl trashed me too after that in every other blog calling me a dickhead...none of my friend here said anything bad abt u Sebzz. I hope u realise that.

Thanks for coming here and explaining ur side...I appreciate that. U tc.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Die_Murane

**okay, keshi, I tell you, you're wrong!

lol awwww :) Thanks!

Ur right...if it's over then it's over...I dun wanna hold on to something that's so fragile...

Thanks mate, u made me think...





~~The_Ego_Has_Landed

hey girl :)

**Dont u blog and make frens here to hear their opinions and comments

so true...but the moment an opinion differs, there's heartbreak...I dun get it...

yes quick and high flattery may fall apart at the same speed...Thanks for the tip ;-)





~~Known_Stranger

hey KS...I will check it out soon, thanks :)




~~Orikinla_Osinachi

hey mate that was a very insightful look at online r'ships :) thanks!


**But, our words are our most precious possessions and our words are the utterance of our conscience, the essence of our existence.

Spot on! Beautifully put..thats what it really is...we speak what our conscience is...and na one cant lie for too long...

ur malaysian friend sounds very intrigueing...thats great u found someone so 'real' in this virtual world...what a treasure it is when such a thing happens.

lol @Serena Williams hahahaha! poor thing, u left her in a cafe and went away? ROFL mate! How could u do that?? :):)

yeah I know...alot of predators r on the net acting to be friendly and sincere etc...fools fooling themselves I guess :)

Thanks alot for all ur wonderful words mate!


Keshi.




~~

Tanvi said...

somethin tells me this post is bout me..lol keshi if this is bout me defending sebz then i wish u'd forget it..i did that cuz i respected her opinion n i respect urs too..u were right about writin ur thoughts here an d evrything..i just thought u needed to noe her side of the story too

i havent changed keshi..i hope u noe that..im still the same old tanvi..maybe ive grown a couple of years older n maybe ive gone through some weird things..ur still my frnd n hopefully im still urs..i really hope so..i dun wanna lose u over those comments..n i wont let us get apart cuz of it..i agree we dun keep in touch a lot..and maybe we should ..remember keshi? a year ago all the fun we used to have n we still emailed each other usually..why did that stop? i dont noe..im sorrie keshi i really am..i din mean to turn my back on u..i juz want u to noe that im still the same n no matter wut u wont lose me as a friend n i hope i dont lose u

Darius said...

Unless you got the definite impression of a falling out, maybe these people just lost interest in blogging. Blogs do come and go. Once in a while you stumble onto one that hasn't posted in years...

Keshi said...

~~Susubala

hey Sumi u in Chennai now? aww thanks and ur a genuine friend too hugggggz!





~~Ash

Ashhhhhhhhhhh! WB! U've been away for so long...hows u??

Koala...awww I can bring u a toy one :) Im scared of big ones lol!


**well bits and bytes it might be but if there is a bond, there are friends too all around .....

true...the bond should be there..thanks!





~~Jeevan

Hi Jeevan hows u today?

yes ur right...friends r friends irrespective of the medium we used to communicate with them...


**My answer is Muscular Dystrophy (a diseases that affected me), were I cant do any thing on my own.

omg is that really too serious? I mean u need help to walk etc? Im so sorry to hear this Jeevan...it came as a shock to me....





~~Burf

hiyya Burfy hows u? na I didnt mean to slap u lol!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Uttara

hey Water Baby lol!

**yess u do know him .. n flirted with him crazilyyy one point of time

omg omg I think I know!


**a sec i thought i was a bull dozer

ROTFLMAO!

goshhh wish I was there with ya and we ould have done our Charlies' Angels scenes lol!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Pradeep.K

**I do not understand why you consider it as "trashing". I believe that you have taken the comments very personally, rather than treating them as opportunities to share your views.

I have the same Q for Sebzz...'trashing' is what that anonymous loser does - abusing with racist and very personal jokes. ppl's opinions expressed in decent language is not trashing...it's freedom of speech whether it agrees with our views or not.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Karmic_Jay

hey it seems like u have met some very warm ppl over the net...thats great and that gives me hope too..

yes ur right...for every loser out there, there's a bunch of nice ppl :):) good one!

I guess friendship is the same everywhere...net or not...ur net friends proved it...


**. I don't think you outgrow real friendships, you outgrow acquaintences. Friendships grow, evolve and mature over time.

thats so true...if there's a strong bond, it wont break easily...

u visit the blogs cos u 'care'...that really struck a code in me...thanks Jay, it was a wonderful comment that made me really think!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Zombie

hey Misty hows u?

**Not anymore. I may care/respect about them now, but for me to go all out, I need to meet them.

I guess u r right...I have never met a net friend in real...so I cant tell yet. Thanks for that!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Desperado

hey mate hows ya?

** There may have been certain not so good experiences but then generalising it doesnt make sense to me.

thats true...it's the same thing in real life too...one bad apple doesnt make all the apples bad na :)


**Strong friendship bonds can be made even through these bytes

true..I agree.


**But still its all easier said than done and trusting someone is real difficult , even when you know the person in real life.

so true...we cant even trust some non-net ppl...

Thanks mate :) ur a genuine friend, I know that for sure...hugggggggz!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Yashita

hey Yash ur never too preachy and even if u r, I just love u the way u r!

**but sumwhere a net bond *is* a fragile one...no matter wat, a friend in real life is much more 'real' na?

u think so? hmmmm....u may be right. but I still cant see why a net friend is not real...


**"maybe God wants us to meet a million wrong people so that wen we meet the right person, we know how to be glad..."

thats so true...

thanks alot girl..I will keep that in mind hugggggggggz!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Rebel_on_loose

hey Rebzzz!


**coz when u jot down ur thoughts in isolation ur much more likely to write uninhibited than u wud speak out face to face.

thats so true! I guess words typed can be more real than words spoken in the face...


**However the problem arises when the same words r misinterpreted by others since sumtimes the tone and tenor of words can easily get misunderstood without proper context.

true..and thats when misunderstandings occur...


yes...even in real life there r heaps of ppl trying to cheat ur conscience but they cant do that for too long...cos sooner or later the real self emerges out...thanks alot for ur wisdom Rebzzz! Hugggggggggz!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Fuzzbox

**But it is good to be a little hesitant until you have time to know someone in whatever venue before trusting heart and soul in anyone

true....thanks mate!





~~Niki_Bakshi

hey Bakshi bubbz :)

Ocean? Wow what a wonderful comparison...sound of waves, some small and some huge..some rough and some calm...some playful and some treachehours...so true Niki! Lovely view of it. Hugggggggggz!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Stud

aww Stud that was truly a very beautiful analysis on this topic...Care indeed! If its there, we wont lose touch...thanks alot mate! And I think even after so many years and breaks, u keep coming back to my blog to say Hello, cos u really care :) huggggggggz!


**They soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gap, and help us remember who we really are.

so true...cos in real life the emotional gap is hard to be filled..cos ppl dun like to express their emotions so much in real...


**I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to fall
I'll be there for you, cause I've been there before
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too

DANKE! Thats really heart-warming :) muahhh!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Autumn_Storm

huggggggggz Autumn!

**one that invests and one for whom it is superficial, virtual, temporary, fleeting with no real emotion or importance attatched.

Thats a very smart analysis...2 kinds and ur spot on!


**The best kind of friend will tell it like it is, good or bad, admire you for that - their loss, anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.

I guess Im very very fortunate to have someone like U as a friend...huggggggggggz and u have a good day too Autumn!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Poison

thanks Posion!


**i believe that emotions are involved wherever a human being is involved

true...but there r some ppl who have no emotions on the net...or they pass that point and become stone-like...


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~The_Phoenix

A good beginning indeed...nicely put.

** With some anonymity, and that lack of meeting in the flesh, it's still not a complete relationship.

u may be right...cos meeting in real makes a big difference...


**Chemistry, for example, is never fully known until you meet. Any kind of relationship has those intangible dynamics that you can't put on paper.

very true! There's a bit of Chemistry already but meeting in real will either increase or decrease it I guess...

Thanks...a very good view of it!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Elaine

hey thanks for that...I will email ya soon :)


** i feel more comfortable sharing my thoughts and feelings with my friends or netfriends that are FAR-FAR-AWAY

that tells me that some ppl like to be private and remain so with their net friends...and others like to meet in real too...it depends on the person I guess.

yes...a friend is a friend and will stay so if the bond is there...thanks Elaine!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Sittingnut

hey so good to see u again too :) How was Auvurudu in SL? aww I miss those days...


**people change and then change again. that's life.

very true...and I must be changing too..hehe...


**it is of course easier for a rather cynical cold fish like me to say things like above

who said ur cold? u r one of the very few dudes who emailed me and also cared for me at times when ppl were hurting me...so na, ur not a cold person at all!


**the response you get shows how filled with love the world actually is

yessss! How could I have overlooked that!! Thanks mate huggggggggggggz!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Terry

muahhh Terry I feel the same abt ya! Very real and very warm-hearted woman u r :)

** Guess there are a great many folks who just can't shed the mask for anyone, and I find that sad.

true...it's not that we should not be private at all, but to lie or to discard friends easily is very hurtful...

thanks Terry u have a great day!
Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Maya_Casis

aww am I? lol ok..let me come ard soon :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Tanvi

I guess we just lost touch Tanvi...not ur fault..I stopped chatting altogether and only blogged. Found great many ppl here but I still kept in touch with all of thru emails, didnt I...

I know u wanted to make sure I got Sebia's point of view...I got it but it has no responsibility for me...cos I didnt write abt her or Islam in general, and u didnt u'stand that Tanvi. Coudlnt u have told Sebzz abt my point of view too? Instead all of pointed fingers at me like I was some criminal...guess I have a reputation to be victimised (since my IT days) so it was normal for ppl to attack me than attack someone like Sebia. It was a choice u and few friends made between me and Sebz..but thats ok. Im fine.

Thanks Tanvi!
Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Darius

WC Darius! Na it's not that they dun blog anymore..they do, just that they dun wanna be ard me anymore :)

Thanks!

Keshi.

Tanvi said...

keshi that's where u dun get me at all..i noe ur post wasnt about her..I NOE IT WASNT..but the other post that said about how sebia posted stuff on her blog..i was talkin bout that
i still email too keshi..u cant say that i dont..i noe i dont do it a lot but i do get around to emailin u..n i did not choose sebz over u..i dunoe how u got that..
n ur sayin im pointin fingers at u? do u remember keshi how i first met u? we had a fight cuz of someone else n i didn't wanna leave it that way so i came lookin for u to apologize..im not gonna leave thingz this way either..i didnt mean to hut u i didnt mean to choose her over u..i didnt mean to do any of that stuff..if it seemed like i did..then all i can say is sorry n i've said that..look if i really didnt care i wouldnt sit here n explain all this to u..i've known u since long n i noe some stupid argument shouldnt end things..

Tanvi said...

and i do wanna be around u..why do u think im here..i noe i dun usually cmment..that doesnt mean i dun visit ur blog keshi..i do

Dawn....सेहर said...

Hey Keshi...its been ages...seems like :)
How r ya gal? Hope things r at its ease ;)
Well...as usual its an awesome topic...and let me tell u..abt my thoughts on this :)
Being from the technological aspect from business side and also being a net savvy...I never differentiated between friendship whether its in person (u know wht i mean non net ) or net friendship...its as simple as we do business electronically... :D...consider withdrawing cash from bank machine by urself or by cash back option from a store...:D
Rest is all about genuine ness …its like all fingers are not similar even though its of the same hand :D…
I do have some awesome experience and hence I don’t want to believe that it is dream world or virtual friendship is nothing but plastic…!
Its true that we lead a plastic oriented life with regards to money…but believe me there r ppl with genuine feelings n emotions…:D
One’s a bad experience makes one cautious but hey never loose faith..:D
Huggz n cheers to you my dear

Keshi said...

~~Tanvi

ok thanks Tanvi! Bt I certainly didnt feel like u were not taking sides...u were yelling at me asking me to understand her..what abt all the things that Sebz wrote abt 'ME' (not abt my religion or a veil or whatever..it was abt ME and a whole lot of judgemental stuff abt ME). Did any of u ask her why she did that and that it might have hurt me too?

This is what she wrote abt ME...

**I am not the kind of a person, who indulges in to baseless arguments and games of refutations just to prove something or get her kicks outta sheer rush of adrenaline caused by these baseless arguements...Specially I don’t find virtuality as a place to point fingers at others or make fun of others religious beliefs..but I felt a strange kina sadness enveloping me after reading a very good friends blog.i was seriously shocked,cuz I always thought of u as a person with greater tolerance level 2wards others beliefs..Keshi..I would have seriously appreciated it, if u asked me or even dewdy before writing such a baseless thing... all those friends whom I always considered as UNBIASED and UNPREJUDICED. With loads of religious narcissism..

etc etc etc...


So Im someone who gets a adremaline kick out of posting 'baseless' things? I m prejudiced? I'm narcisstic? I'm biased? Im hurtful/ Im untrustworthy? blah blah blah :) Na I dun wanna be brooding over this cos ppl can think whatever they want abt me. But u guys made such a big fuss over a post I wrote and started to tell me Im wrong etc...who came in defense of me when Sebzz 'concluded' all of the above abt me? Where r my so-called friends? Who's side were u on then?

I dun want anyone to take my side Tanvi :) Just talk the truth and see both side's point of view. This was a simple post taken too personally and ended up being a huge attack on me. I guess u havent read many of the anonymous abuse on me after this post. Thank God none of my friends here wrote anything like that abt Sebia :)


Keshi.

Tanvi said...

alrite well think that way keshi..im juz gonna stop now cuz i feel like i keep on ramblin n u barely read wut i said..later..have fun

Keshi said...

~~Dawn

hey girl hows u? Im well and so good to see u here :)


**withdrawing cash from bank machine by urself or by cash back option from a store

thats a great example wow!


**its like all fingers are not similar even though its of the same hand

my mum always tells me this...awww....


**…but believe me there r ppl with genuine feelings n emotions…:D
One’s a bad experience makes one cautious but hey never loose faith

Spot on! Thanks Dawn and u have a great day!

Keshi.

Tarun said...

Today I am telling you one secret to know people, never ever believe a person who always talk sweet on net or in real life.

Keshi said...

~~Tanvi

**..im juz gonna stop now cuz i feel like i keep on ramblin n u barely read wut i said

I feel the same abt u guys..u barely read what I say...u just want to highlight on the 'hurt' caused and Im sick of it.

Thanks anwyays!
Keshi.

Stud said...

hmmm, sebz, tanvi??...Come in my arms O baby D mine n' I'll care thee...together our love blooms just as the caterpillar transforms into a beautiful butterfly:)

Aryan

southpaw said...

Completely agree with Tarun's comment, it does causes diabetes.

White Magpie said...

You are wrong

Ekta said...

Well Keshi,
I dont think its got anything to do with being a net friend or otherwise?
Well a friend is a friend whether u know him thru net or any other source!
I personally have never made a net friend but have a very good friend whom I just met on a plane one day!!...

And yes people change--ALWAYS they do..and there is nothing u can do about it!

The fight is always to see whether the extent of their change and the aspects that have changed are still acceptable to u in their current state or not...and that happens in EVERY relationship not just friendship!

lil _kath said...

...i think there's no difference between friends that you personally hang-on everyday and the ones the you talk only on net.
..its the connection between and the trust you gave to each other.
...yeah its very rare to find one but......friendship ends when u stop sharing.

...to love without condition
...to talk without intension
...to give without reason
..and to care without expectation
..is the heart of a true friend!

..goodluck sweetie^_^

cheers,
-kathy-

Shikha said...

For most people,its just two terminals that are involved and they find it hard to accept the 3D version of the other terminal..as for me,i found my guy on the net:)

Keshi said...

~~Tarun

thats true...wise words ty!





~~Southpaw

aha gotcha!





~~White_magpie

aww thanks..so theres hope here too :)




~~Stud

aww hugggggggggz! :):)




~~Ekta

I knew u'd agree with me...net or not, a friend is a friend :) thanks!

**The fight is always to see whether the extent of their change and the aspects that have changed are still acceptable to u in their current state or not

thanks for that...that got me thinking...

huggggggggz!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

~~Lil_Kath

Kath hugggggggggz!

**its the connection between and the trust you gave to each other.

Spot on! And d u think that connection wont die if it's true, no matter what? I think so...


that was a lovely verse...so beautiful!

**to love without condition

I wish most of my friends could do that just as much as I do that too...

luv ya Kath!





~~Shikha

hey girl hows u? long time!

**for me,i found my guy on the net

wow! there u go...it's not just 2 terminals after all ha...


Keshi.

Princess said...

Hi Keshi,

I do not believe in sharing all personal details to a net friend like phone numbers & address. But I can surely say that there are quite a good number of true friends of mine in the net. And they make my days a bit more happier. It is not necessary to know everything about a person to be her/his friend. But it is necessary to know how she/he behaves with you and interacts with you and shares the feelings with you. Whatever be my identity in the net, I'll be what I am. There is no change in it. Even you do not trust all. And I too won't trust anyone so easily. I need time to interact with them and then only I'll be able to know what kind of person someone is. Then if I wish I'll reveal my identity to some extent. Thats it. Net friends are people who express whatever they think coz they need not worry how the other person would react to it. Real life friends are people with their own qualities. They are always there for us at times of joys and sorrows. They know who I am and they understand me thouroughly.

Forever Friend,
Aizwaikcha.

Keshi said...

~~Aizwaikcha

hey Aish that reminds me I have to email u and havent doen that yet...Im so sorry Ive been slack! hey can send me ur email again...I think I accidentaly deleted that comment :(

ur right...one cant tell the details on the net not knowing for sure who is on the other side..we have to be careful. Thanks Aish!

Keshi.

Jeevan said...

I mean u need help to walk etc? you’r correct:) I am intersted to be alone for some time every day.

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Hey...Interesting question...well, over n over again I have been reminded tht my net connections are just over the net and I should not take it further. The reason being simple- There r many internet predators out there who will hurt you and harm you and you are being defensive....Does it qualify for you to think everyone is a predator and not get too close to them..Sounds harsh but that is the smartest way to be. I know of few ppl who have made real good frnds over the net but personally I have been duped several times and I learn from experience that I need to draw my line- a very distinctive line. Its my personal feeling. You need not be cold to the other but can be someone who has draw her boundaries. Unless u r upp for the challenge to get hurt n you dont mind taking the risk!

Keshi said...

~~Jeevan

hey thats not good...im so very sorry to hear that..I dunno what to say...cos nothing I say now will make u feel better...God bless u Jeevan!





~~Scribblez_to_wakeup

u may be right...cos we never know what kind of ppl r talking to us. But atleast I can tell who's genuine and who's not...only cos time always brings out the truth :)

Thanks a ton for ur wise advice!

Keshi.

Nikita said...

Keshi,

It's a make believe world out there. You can be anyone from the ghost of Indira Gandhi to JFK reborn as long as you talk smartly. Anyone can look up the map of any country, read it in Expedia and brag abt it on a grand scale. But I have met a few people who are none of the above and are genuine. It's just a matter of time after which you get to know of how the person is.

Keshi said...

~~Nikita

ur right girl...but anyone who 'tries' to be smart cannot be smart for too long..cos the real self wil show somehow na :)

Thanks alot, I will keep that in mind Niki...huggggggggz!

Kehsi.

Johnny B. Good said...

OK, i confirm u r rong
nett friendsships are no different from real world friendships

and some times friends turn in to lovers and marry

then they quarrel
then they divorce

marriage is like buying a mobile fone

u wish u had waited for the newer model

Stud said...

"marriage is like buying a mobile fone

u wish u had waited for the newer model"

lmaooo

Keshi said...

~~Saby

**marriage is like buying a mobile fone
u wish u had waited for the newer model


hahahahahaha ur so funny man!





~~Stud

ROFL!

Keshi.

anoop said...

Keshi...i just came across yr post and i must say that i can kind of relate to what you are going through...
the fact is only true friendships outlast time...they grow stronger as they grow older...in course of time only these true bonds stay and the remaining fall away...so its upto you to identify and throw out the bad apples and move on.. maybe all those walls of steel were just a figment of yr imagination!

Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

Keshurrr !

I was writing about this as well ... but i guess i better not continue now ... since u have put it so nicely already..

I thought i was extra emotional ... coz i do get attracted to ppl very easily ... and there hv been times when i have actually cried too !
We all have hearts ... we arent bots talkin to each other, its people like you and me itself ... but tis jus tht somtimes circumstances make us go bitter ... change is the only constant factor in life .... as life goes on ... ppl and their perspectives change ...their priorities change ... but if we're "friends" then we have to accept them as they are and not compel them to change acc. to us ..... thats how things go smoothly .....

the fact tht someone really "loves you" at one point of time .. and then suddenly they start hating u ... surprises me ... and tiz the same everywhere .... whether tiz the virtual world or the real ...

i started chattin for sheer fun and outta curiosity .... but it was too late when i realised how much involved i was into it ... the first thing after coming home i do is .. check my yahoo messenger ... mails .. etc ... with time ... these "net" friends of ours have become a part of us .... everyone is so special in one way or the other .... but then every coin has 2 sides ... there are some ppl who are absolute fakes ... who derive fun hurting others' feelings ... who use you when they need you .... i hope i never become like that ... i hope no one i know is like that ...

the fact tht i hav more net friends than da real ones sometimes worries me ... but then i convince myself time n again by saying ... a friend is a friend a friend ...... and its just unfortunate tht we cudnt meet in person ... but we can atleast try now ...

cheerz!

white devil said...

kesh,
in this world, i have learned to look very hard at people, there are so many that will disappear in a split second, loyalty is a hard thing to come by. i have always taken great care in who i consider an actual friend. the ones i do have are the ones who will always be there, no matter if i leave for a while or we get into an arguement, we will just resume where we left off, and show that we still cherish what is between us. you have to accept the good and the bad there is never just one side and as long as you feel that the good side is worth it, then you stay. i try and look at it in that situation, is it worth it? if so then you have a friend, not someone who will turn at the first second of discomfort friendship is not based on comfort it is about sticking together, trying to see it from both sides of the spectrum, trying to understand what it is that causes the discomfort, how it can be rectified and seeing that it is really worth it. just like how i am still coming around and talking to you i see you are worth it and it is in this that i continue to be friends with you though we may not see eye to eye i still have the respect to accept that this is you and that is all i need. it doesn't need to be everyone, people come and go but the ones that stay are the ones that are worth while. don't fret about the lost ones even though they seemed good and great, they couldn't stay. placation of the net buddy is irrelevant no matter if it is in person, via net, phone, email, you and them are exuding yourselves in those ways. it is still you and them, it is just easy for someone to disregard you because all they see is this pile of text and maybe a few obscure pictures that make up you, and if that is really all they see then it is not something you should dwell on. chin up there are always others who will pop up. i am reminded of the first time i encountered you on the net i made an odd comment about jesus and you didn't just disregard me you answered back showing to me that you are person of integrity and not easily bothered by the words i said, i am a bit of a mischievious imp i say weird and sometimes insulting things but like my friends they know i really don't mean them and that i believe that my actions are much more important then my words, i talk alot of shit and they accept me for it. they know i am just playing around. just as it seemed you realized. the actions i show to you is that i come and see you every once in a while despite my odd comments. i am here that is all i can do to show i care.

Keshi said...

~~Anoop

WC Anoop!

**.they grow stronger as they grow older

I believe in that..if someone is a friend, he/she wont fall apart no matter what...

thanks!





~~Cheesy_Termite

heyy Cheesy ur one true friend! muahhhhhhh!


u made so much sense thre girl...thanks alot! And I agree....a friend is a friend no matter what...

** but it was too late when i realised how much involved i was into it

well guess what...I was in the same boat...and na I havent changed to make my heart turn into a stone so that I dun get hurt...but Im more careful now. net or not, ppl still cvan hurt ur feelings..so we gotta watch out.

I know that u have always been a great friend to me Cheesy...and u have no diplomacy abt ya...ur a very genuine person I have met on the net and Im thankful for that...hugggggggggz!





~~White_Devil

hey Devil hows ya?

u know what mate...when I read ur comment and finished, I was smiling...even w.o. realising it :) Ur comment was that special and really touched my heart. It showed how real a friend one can find on the net. U r soooo sweet too! I feel the same abt ya mate...and Im so glad we met.


**no matter if i leave for a while or we get into an arguement, we will just resume where we left off, and show that we still cherish what is between us.

thats true...good friends picku from where they left even after many years. One of my best friends in real told me that and I always cherish those lines.

**i am here that is all i can do to show i care.

thats so beautifully put! Thanks and I know u care...and I care too...huggggggggggggz mate!


Keshi.

Ashish Gupta said...

on internet or otherwise... I believe wat matters is how ppl are from inside!

well.. I found my soulmate on net!

Keshi said...

~~Ashish_Gupta

hey Ashish WC and thanks!


**on internet or otherwise... I believe wat matters is how ppl are from inside!

thats true...I believe in that too.

aww ur lucky u found ur soul mate :):)


Keshi.

TLW said...

I wish you are wrong !!

Keshi said...

aww...

Keshi.