Do we ever become complete at some point in our lives based on what we have achieved and who we have met? Or are we complete as we are right now, with all the imperfections included. I think Im complete as I am right now - along with all my flaws, mistakes, unfulfilled dreams, and yes even with my single status. What makes me write this post? Well a friend of my mum recently told me this - Keshi you won't be complete without a man. I was terribly shocked by what she said and was thinking if I could really be hearing such a thing and standing there not digging a hole and disappearing. Not because I agreed with what she said but because I thought it was a really stupid statement and that even an ounce of my cranium should not be wasted at attempting to explain my views to her. But she's my mum's friend and she has a very conservative Indian background. I can't expect much more than that from such a person so all I said was 'Aunty dear (I felt like making it 'Dear Agon-ising Aunt'), I don't really think I need a man to validate my Complete status, neither do I need a man to add value to my self-worth. I don't need to live upto society's expectations and I like to do things my way, even though the the entire world may try to stop me (that's me standing at a No-Dogs area going well against the so-called rules). I'm complete as I am right now and I'm very happy with myself okkk'. She wasn't happy with that but do I care...cos I feel complete.
In my life so far I have achieved many a dreams, done well in studies and work, been a good daughter to my parents, haven't killed anyone (not yet), have lost sleep over few men, kissed a coupla hunks (who later became toads), gave my 100% to some people who crossed paths with me, made a huge bunch of friends from my blog (yeah you sweeties), laughed too much, cried more, partied hard, been stupid many a times, hassled people with my annoying habits, lost many loved-ones, even walked down a highway last Sat looking really lost, had great many disappointments, told some people off, learnt to accept defeat, got very close to death and have known life is never complete without being incomplete...that's just my way and that's complete to me. Well this may not be the picture-perfect life that some girls' lives turn out to be, but I think this is what my Perfect is and what I have been given. I know I haven't been given much in this life - I lost my dad too early, never found a man who could honeslty love me back, haven't got a shoulder to cry on when I really need to, get walked all over all the time, have hidden heartaches that no doctor can cure, there's 'something' that might kill me some day etc etc. But who has everything in life? So yeah, I can wallow in self-pity and cry for what I don't have but then I'd be wasting the time I have right now. I wanna make this moment go unwasted and live it to the fullest. That makes my life complete.
Everyone has their own definition of what Complete is. Mine goes like this...I'm complete cos I know who I am and I know what I want in life...even though I can't have everything I want in life, even though I have a thousand flaws, even though all my dreams may never come true, I am complete because I was, am and will be me always. As long as I haven't lost my original soul to material needs and societal pressures, I have all of me in me, and for that reason I'm complete. No one and nothing but only I shall define me.
How would a small path look like if it didn't have any wildflowers on the side? If not for the wildflowers that grow without any special care or need to be appreciated and looked at, we would never have known how beautiful a walk down that path would be. I'm happy for the wildflower that I am and maybe from my very 'imperfect' life, others can get some pleasure and grasp some lessons, and that'll do folks. I'm not a well looked-after commercial Tulip, I will never be sold in exchange of someone else's needs, therefore I'm complete in the eyes of nature. So what's your definition of Complete?
I'd like to finish this post with a song that Belinda Emmett (see previous post) wrote and sang while she was fighting Cancer. This song was released today on the eve of her funeral. Have a read of the lyrics. It's called LESS THAN PERFECT.
Looked into the cards
My fate amongst the spread
Following my stars
And analysing what's been said
Been writing down my dreams
Which later I'd dissect
Just trying to find some meaning in this life
Less than perfect
This life less than perfect
Looking for a signal
A sign amongst the throng
A glance into my past
To see where I went wrong
Been writing down my feelings
Which I fiercely protect
Just trying to find some meaning in this life
Less than perfect
This life less than perfect
Have you ever wondered
What it would be like
To be somebody else
With their perfect, perfect life?
But it's mine to carry
Mine to own
And it's not so scary
To carry it alone
And the wonder of it all
Sometimes it's hard to see
Sometimes I wanna crawl away
And go to sleep
In this life less than perfect
Have you ever wondered
What it would be like
To be somebody else
With their perfect, perfect life?
But it's mine to carry
Mine to own
And it's not so scary
To carry it alone
So here I am with my
Less than perfect life
Here I stand with my
Less than perfect life
Less than perfect life
Less than perfect life.
Have a good one guys and don't let anyone cramp your style. hooroo!
Current Music: My Way by Robbie Williams