Monday, July 16

Missing Forever

Missing Person Notice!


Age: Forever young
Sex: Male
Last seen: Next to me a couple of years ago
Last clothes: Blue jumper and grey pants
Height: 6 feet
Complexion: Fair
Hair color: Black
Profession: Tough Police guy but a very loving father and a genuine friend to many (he helped many people in countless ways)
Nationality: Beautiful human being with the biggest heart
Name: Keshi's dad
Reward: Everything I own just to see him one more time


(The above pic of my dad was taken from his Identity Card...he was about 18yrs old in this pic)


Travelling the world...searching all the cities...scanning all the streets...knocking every door...checking every room...I'm looking for you, I'm looking for you. No one has seen you since that final Saturday...it's been a long time since we heard from you. My mother sits in silence...she can't help me either...cos she knows I'm looking for someone that I won't find. Climbed all the mountains...swam all the rivers...walked all the lonely roads...got wet in the rains for years and years...seeked in every heart. Still no sign of you....so I ask for help from someone out there who may know where you are. I'm forever looking for him...the life that I'm living right now is a lie...life isn't life without him. Can someone tell me the meaning of this life if our loved-ones have to die so young? Where do people go when they die?


Today's music is an old Sinhalese song called Unmada Sithuwam (crazy feelings), especially for my dad, cos he was a Sinhalese man who loved music - Sinhalese, English, Tamil, Hindi and lots more...he was a very good singer (what a deep beautiful voice!) and a great dancer too. This is a very famous song in Sri Lanka sung by renowned singer, the late Gunadasa Kapuge. This song is about a forbidden love (from the very famous Sinhalese movie 'Ektam Ge' which means the Lighthouse) - and even though it's really about 2 lovers, I think of my dad whenever I listen to this song. That's cos the music and lyrics remind me of a forbidden time...a time cut too short...a love between a father and a daughter that didn't receive enough time to breathe. Just like the tainted photograph, the memories may slowly fade...but my love for you shall never die...

The meaning of this song is written below. That's my own conversion and it's very hard for me to write this post, so please bear with me. And I'm so very sorry if I made you sad too. This post is not to gain sympathy - no sympathy can really fix me anyways. I met a close relative of my dad over the weekend after a very long time, at a Sinhalese musical show in Sydney. That person is also a great singer in Sri Lanka and is on tour here. It brought back all the the memories of my dad, his voice, his warmth, his face, his aura. This is how I feel today and I had to write it down. And now the meaning of the song is:


Crazy feelings just come into my mind...
Amidst the clouds from a distant past
A broken love that set fire to my heart
I'm alone now in a desolate house...
Amidst the frightening waves of a violent ocean
I own only the lonely and empty breeze
The falling mind is now my only solace
I'm alone now in a desolate house...
Among a thousand flowers I only longed for you
Why did that flower leave me and hide away
My hands still hold the scent of that flower
I'm alone now in a desolate house... ... ...


Current Music: Unmada Sithuwam by Gunadasa Kapuge

172 Cranium Signets:

Geet said...

Keshi....

I feel that way too.
I'm always looking for him, and I always feeling sad, and yearning to see him just one more time...

Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself, but know that only time will tell why these things happen.

Hugggg.

WP2007 said...

Hi Keshi

It's very seldom that I start reading something and have to stop. For me, this post is too much for me to handle. As you know I lost my parents, and now a friend has been missing for 4 weeks.

I am sorry for your lost, and you know I'm with you in spirit.

God Bless you my friend.

Bev

Southpaw unplugged said...

A tight squeezing hug to u bubbzy....

Mohan said...

hello there Keshi...sometimes time is the best answer for some problems..be strong my fren..cheers

KAYLEE said...

OH MAN THATS SAD!!!!!! did u get my message on the last post?

Margie said...

I know you would give everything you own, just to see your dad one more time!

This one kinda broke my heart!
It is so hard when our loved ones die so young.
Both my parents are gone too.
But they are never far away from me, as I keep them so very close to my heart!
My hubby's dad was just 45 when he left him at a young age of 15, and his mom died at 50....he misses them so much!

Hugs to you Swt hrt!

Margie

anuj said...

keshi

come here .. hugggggggs :)

Silvara said...

Hey babe....I know that feeling of having lost something and trying to find it again. I can't imagine life without my Dad and I don't know how yours is - A huge HUGZ to you.

Keep strong, think of all your happy memories and remember your Dad.

Love you lots :)

anuj said...

i read a lot of sad things on a of blogs bt nevr really cared abt it or felt it ..

bt this one was way too ahead .. n it was hard going through the post .. seriously .. it was hard .. n its harder now wht to say n wat not ..

keshi .. jus come back to ur happy mode .. thts all I wish ..
it wud alwyz be there at the bck of ur head .. cause we cant help it .. but do smile at small things n find hapiness in little craziness .. find peace in music :)

huggzz again
(see I wantd to flirt here .. bt i cant)

chocolteluva said...

well i cant say that i sympathize or empathize with you. i dont know that feeling of loosing my father. so i wont give you fake 'i understand how you feel thing"... i hate it when people do that to me... i most definitely dont understand, and probably wont until that happens to me too.

although, i do know how it feels to miss someone really close to you and have time cut things short. my grandpa and i were REALLY CLOSE.. i mean he inspired me to be a Physical Therapist, he was the only one who believed in me when i wanted to quit school ... he kept me going. he stood up for me and everytime i miss him, i feel sappy and blah.
its ok to write about your feelings, without apologizing. first of all its ure post.. ure blog.

think about it this way, he's looking down from heaven. he's ure GUARDIAN ANGEL. i think aobut it that way.. makes me smile when i do. i see my grandpa smilling back at me with that little grin he always had when he cheated on card games with me.

smrtnhuggble said...

oh yea... BIGGG HUGS!!!
chocolate helps too =)

Srijith Unni said...

You dont have to search, Keshi..! I`m sure he`s always with you, just right there.!

~Hugs..!

Srijith.

Margie said...

That was the biggest HUG I have ever recieved!
Thank you Angel!
ok, then that is what I will do!

HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!
Giving it back to you!

Time for bed here!
Morning comes too soon.

How was your weekend!
Mine was great!
Hope yours was too!

Luv ya too!
Nitey nite.

Margie:)

Menchie said...

I can't say I know how you feel because I truly don't. Not yet and I hope not for a long time.

But I do understand. Sometimes feelings like these need to be released. It's good that you're writing about it.

He is always with you. I'm sure of that.

Sun Follower said...

Can someone tell me the meaning of this life if our loved-ones have to die so young? Where do people go when they die?

People live on in hearts and memories and music and photos ... with those they left here. We all just met your father today... here in your blog... he lives.

*hugs*

Aidan said...

Hey keshi,
Sorry i cant tell you what happens after we pass on. I wont pretend to understand life, or why we loose those we care about. I will never say the words "god has a plan for us all" . SOmethings just happen, no reason, no plan, we are at the mercy of the universe.

You just have to live to the best of your ability, remember those who have passed honour their memories and they never truly leave us.

Hugs

Aidan

Sweetstickychewy said...

Thats a beautiful song keshi. The lyrics are beautiful.


I am not sure what to say but i hope a hug does speak much to your heart.

*Cuddles* Keshi. Muah.

Jim said...

u gotta let go
or your dad wont get atma shanti

Jim said...

its VESTs birthday today
MOVE ON

the bible says
Let the dead bury the dead

i dont really no what that means
but it sounds profound

Jim said...

He taught me how to be gentle with women. When my father died, I didn't cry. I thought it was heroic. I was one of the pall-bearers, I thought I had become a little big man. But I felt cheated despite the fact that he had prepared me for his death... And my mother's death made me realize that nothing is permanent. I stopped hoping for anything. I cried a lot. Nothing shocks me anymore.


It was the most painful moment of my life, when my mother died in my arms. She had become alright and suddenly she died. Just like Dad. Her blood had become septic. It was very painful. The first time I prayed to God was when she lay dying. I never prayed, that's the kind of family we were. A Muslim family that never forced you to pray. And it was the first time, I really prayed, but she died all the same.

Aditi said...

**hug**

Anonymous said...

I imbibed my basic values from her, learned a number of things from my mother. Like never cut down on your expenditure, increase your income. That's why I'm a spendthrift.

Never acquire or want anything that has a bad feeling in it. In Urdu it is called manhoosiyat.

Like if you ask someone for money and he says, "nahin yaar kal de dunga," just forget it.

That's the reason why I still have not touched my mother's money. Because I know she would not want it that way. I only took a television set she had given me last when I came to Bombay.

My property, my business, my cars, everything is still in Delhi. I haven't taken anything because if she's not there to give it to me, I don't want it. And she'll be happy if I don't take them and instead get the all on my own.

She also taught me not to hurt anyone. Like I said she would slap people if she got angry with them, but she would love them at the same time. Neither she nor my father have ever hit me. They were very gentle people. My mother behaved like a true friend, when I told her I wanted to marry Gauri. Is she Muslim or Chinese? Nothing was asked.


i am a die hard Sharukh fan

priya said...

Keshi, I know its hard but look at the mirror and u can see him in you which can always bring joy forever.

Die Muräne said...

so sad and beautyful post at the same time, Keshi.

don't crawl the mountain. he's with you already.

Dalicia said...

i hope he'll be found!

Cazzie!!! said...

He lives in you Keshi, in your heart and soul :)

Iceman said...

Nothing that I say or anyone else say is gonna change things... or is gonna give u peace...

It simply cant be changed... I don't see how that void can be filled!

But you know what, some day u all will b together. Wait for that day patiently, calmly. In the mean time, do everything possible to fulfill dad's dreams n wishes, so that whenever u meet him upstairs, he doesn't have a chance to complain. All he will do is love u & not waste time complaining!

I really dont know what else to say! All the very best to you Keshi! You are a great girl! I wish u all the love in this world!

And just a suggestion, watch this movie called What dreams may come . Its such a wonderful movie.

This piece of message is just for ya keshi... not for the world out there... Its just for ya! No need to publish this one.

Princess said...

hey keshi,

its really hard to be without someone who was very close to you... I understand ur pain...

One of my frnd got so tensed abt her dad recently. it was only me who tried to make her feel a lil better. Now her dad is fine after the bypass surgery. it was a very critical stage for her and her family. I really prayed a lot. She was telling that even enemies shld not get such a situation in life. I am terribly bad in consoling. But i hope u will be fine soon..

take care,
lots of luv,
-Aiz.

And hey congrats for u hv become a star blogger with that interview...

Poo said...

AWWW...My sexyroo is sad ...let me give a cuddly, juicy and squezzzzeeee Huggyyyyy

Come dear cheer up.

Want to see that 100 v smile :))

Love you dear.

AmitL said...

Hi,Keshi..I was quite touched to read this post.Frankly,there are some tests in life that God takes,which have no answers.(I know,coz I lost my Mom back in 1990,and it was like a bombshell had fallen).I became more serene,peaceful,quiet,tightly controlling my emotions...and,till date,I still cannot feel extremely happy or extremely sad.But,that's life...the test continues.

Sam said...

Hi Keshi,
Frankly I am at a loss as to how to react. There are so many things I want to say... but i can't put them in words...it's hard, it's sad.. but the show must go on... a dear friend of mine passed away a few weeks back, and this is what I wrote in her remembrance, hope you like it.... and mreo importantly understand the message in there:

and a gust of wind came
and blew her away.....
and left her fragrance lingering in the air....
her sweet charm which enchanted many,
is still felt in the passages of time
gone by but cherished still.
her sway in the breeze
would make you smile,
and i can see you smile,
as the remembrance sweeps your senses.....
cherish them all for she brought you joy,
she made you smile,
gave you a reason to be happy,
for a few moments.....
smile and celebrate life in her memory
for that was her motto....
the little white flower that she was....
the little naughty friend that she remains!!


he's always with you, because unknowingly you perhaps do things just the way you believe he would have loved to see you do!!
that's how the ones dear to us live for as long as we live!!

Vik said...

I really don't want to empathize you or sympathize you by saying something that I really don't know about. It would be an insult to Mr. Keshi's Dad if I pretended to say something.

I just hope you will be strong and such a heart shattering incident cannot be forgotten and I only wish you well and hope you are back to your happy self, if possible.

Hug is a very good medicine and here is a virtual hug to you my friend.

Vik Rajagopalan

The Lad said...

Yes I think too..He is always there with you and IN you..
always!!

twistedttruth said...

Thank God I read the entire para. Didnt realise it was about your Dad for the first lines,and was about to post "I'm 5'6"" like Brendon or something. Hope you see that the humour hear means no disrespect :)

desperado said...

lovely song...brilliant dedication

Princess Banter said...

Have faith, my dear. That indeed was a beautiful song...

cindy said...

I know where he is!!

He's in your heart and will always be there! :)

Jeevan said...

I realize you crave, where u looking for your dad’s hugs and love that was brought close to ur mind through meeting his relative. What’s I really pray was, that the guy who was suppose to marry u in future, should make u the feel of being with ur dad. Hope I dint said anything wrong to hurt u, but what my hear feel should be express her righ.

Hugsss…

AakASH!!! said...

Ohhh dear. Sometimes one has no words to say, and in this case i cant even really hug you.

But if words were real, heres a real warm clasp for you across this distance. a BIG HUG.

>>>

I was once like you are now, and I know that its not easy,
To be calm when youve found something going on.
But take your time, think a lot,
Why, think of everything youve got.
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.
- 'Father and Son', Cat Stevens


Love.

niki yokota said...

hi keshi-chan
ur dad is very handsome!!
why dont u marry a SL man looks like him :)
my dad lost his mom early, and
married someone looking very much like her.
it might sounds weird but it might be a good choice of him.

Trée said...

Keshi, I would hope that one day my son would feel as strongly about me as you do your dad. As a father, I have to say this is one of your most moving posts. Love and hugs my friend. :-)

Ash said...

He's always there with you Keshi.
*Love and Hugs*

Vikas said...

BIG HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG TO YOU...

HOPE THIS WILL HELP YOU!!!

I understand u my friend

Take Care
Vikas{V}

CapCity said...

Although the circumstance is sad, this was beautifully expressed, Keshi. Although no hug can replace your father's - I humbly offer one anyway:
(((((((HUGZ)))))))

Shionge said...

Keshi my dear pal...he's watching you from above protecting, guiding you always :D

HUGzzzz my dear pal!

Asha said...

He was soo handsome Keshi! I am so sorry you lost him so young.GOD loves good ppl it seems.
Hugs and kisses from me to you.Hang in there Kesh.

Alok said...

Keshi ..... words r insignificant here and they often cheat us ....

Hugzzzzz ....

take care

homo escapeons said...

You know that we share this tragic sentence and I have tried to figure out WHY since 1980.
I have come to the conclusion and decided that there is no reason. For over a decade I travelled the mystical and the religious paths seeking solice and understanding but in the end these failed miserably and came up vapid and void manufactured excuses.

As far as I can see there is no great plan, no formula, no magical invisible world to blame. So I keep Dad alive by trying (and usually failing miserably) to be a kinder, gentler, human being. There simply would be no reason to evict so many of the GOOD people from this awful world...if you can think of one please fill me in.

I live with the hope that my kids will always remember me as trying to emulate my Father because I use him as my benchmark. I see so much of my Dad in my oldest son (who passed away a decade before he was born)he is so gentle and kind..it is so cool.

Now I realise that genetics is responsible and a little environment but it is still fun to think that there is more to it than that. Either way I am thrilled to see that all of my children are so dynamic and intelligent and kind...it is far more than I could have ever hoped for. Procreating well is the best revenge.

Prashant said...

Your Question :
Can someone tell me the meaning of this life if our loved-ones have to die so young?

My Say : Keshi, Do you really need answer?Do you?

Smiles :)

mystic rose said...

keshi,
hugs! that is a very touching nad heartfelt post. the space of a father is something that can never be filled by anyone else.

take care sweetie.

AVIANA said...

i'm gonna have to write later...this requires more of me to write and i can't do that now since i'm at work...i can't give my true thoughts on this to help ease your pain and dry the tears...

Top cat said...

I wish I could say something to comfort you but I don't think words can help.
How about a HUG
tc

Helen said...

Aaah, Keshi, I am so very sorry for your pain. I am hugging you and holding you right now.

Nanditha Prabhu said...

I dont know what to write here.
It must be hard to lose something that is precious to you.
but as long as he lives in you ! you have not lost him?
keep him alive in you , the love he , and you and all of us hold in us... keep it alive Keshi ...

Paul said...

Sorry you lost your dad so young. Has to make it that much harder.

Two thoughts: There is, of course, "the grieving process," which takes years. Coming out the other side of that process helps a lot psychologically; it doesn't resolve the spiritual problem that death poses.

I hope this doesn't sound awful, but I'll take the chance and figure that you have enough of a sense of me - it's been a couple years, I guess? - to understand that I wouldn't dream of trying to use your situation as an excuse to "market my book." But as a matter of fact, it happens that the book originated in my grappling with exactly this issue - i.e., the problem of death.

Yes, we can deal with it psychologically well enough after enough time goes by. But hey, this person I loved, someone maybe I would have given my own life for, someone whose existence I saw as priceless, as being of inestimable value, is, to all appearances, gone. No more. Nulled and voided by the universe, so to speak. So our grief when we lose people we love isn't just all about us.

My book is my best response to the spiritual level of your question. It's a big question.

Thumbelina said...

Hi Keshi,

U know something? Just now when i was on the way home from work.. Suddenly, Grandma came into my mind.. Tears filled my eyes, but i stopped myself from crying in the bus..

When i log in to see ur blog.. I realised tat u are also thinking abt ur dad... :)

So concidental..

No matter wat, Grandma is still part of me & ur dad will always be a part of u. When u look into the mirror, u'll be able to see "him".. "He's" there..

Your lovely eyes = His eyes
His eyebrows = Your eyebrows
Your lovely nose = His nose
His lips = Your lips

He is forever with u :)

Love,
Thumbee

Jeya Anand said...

thats sad...i guess i have heard that in ur previous post too...take care...

Whomever u love , u will have to lose them one day or the other....

keep up...

and did u try Mozilla....?? I think i will change my theme shortly...atleast 2 other have complained abt this issue...:(

Nirek said...

Hugz dear! Dad's position can never be fulfilled with anyone's love!

Ps said...

Yes-I can so relate to this post--I guess you know why.People say things like "he lives on in you", "he is watching you" and "he will be your guardian angel and so on.

But NOTHING makes the pain go away.One just learns to endure it with a smile.

Endure it and hide it.(and everyone thinks you have moved on)

Ps said...

I guess the best way is to honoue their memories--and to hold them close to us.Memries are so precious..Its ALL that we have.

CM-Chap said...

Time is the only thing that can help u Keshi

Autumn Storm said...

I want to say though it may sound both corny and just as something that I am throwing out there without basis just to say something, but where he is is inside of you. The only thing to survive us after we leave is the love that we leave behind in other people's hearts, the memories that they have of us. And you are lucky in one respect, in that you have your mother and sister to relive and share those things with. So sorry for your loss, as someone else said, I cannot know how you feel unless I had experienced the same, to be robbed at such a young age, at a time before you were truly grown, before he had time to know you as you are now. I don't have firm beliefs when it comes to God and the afterlife, but there are thoughts that radiate warmth and those are the ones that I choose to gravitate towards when I have similar thoughts, thoughts about how my brother, to cite one example, is missing out on the lives of his children, then it is such a nice thought that they might be watching us, that they might know somehow who those left are now. I feel your sadness in this post, your longing, and it is heartbreaking. Beautiful in its openess too. Hugs to you, Kesh, I'm glad you know what it means to have had such a loving father, that I am sure has carried you through many things, before and after he had to go away.

Jenny! said...

Your father never left you, he will alwasy be with you in your memories, prayers and thoughts. I am so sorry foryou loss, and I would love to say that it will get easier, but it's never easy. Stay strong, brave and loving...kisses!

Coco said...

Life and Death are a mystery...

Losing a loved one is always difficult, no matter how many years have passed since their passing. "Time" does help, though.

Never forget, that even though your father is not "present", he is always with you...blessing you!!

HUGS!!
Take Care!

EBEZP said...

Keshi I am sorry for your loss. He's there looking after you, watching over you, laughing about your mistakes. Always and in your heart.

Thanks for the kind words on mine. I'm ok but just a lot going on at a mental and emotional level. Maybe we should just run away together and leave everybody to it!! Dream on!!

The least we can do though is share this

Little Miss Muffet said...

oh keshi, i'm sorry that you have to bear such a big loss..a father is always such an important figure in a girl's life..and time never really does heal the pain...it must have been really difficult for you to write this post...many hugs! i'm sure wherever he is, he's thinking of u too...

MyUtopia said...

What a sad and beautiful post!

The Acid Tongue said...

Sad and tongue tied.
Wish you all the strength and patience you need. And more.

Connect.

diyadear said...

it s a beautiful song dear.. it was touhing.. n a big tight hug to u dear..

Ghost Particle said...

i would want to write something keshi, but the pain gets into me too, sometimes i wonder too much and i mess up my mind. Life is full of tragedies and love. see how far away those extremes are. But I am happy because of the way you are today, no one will ever doubt for a moment you are a survivor and a fighter and (a reasonably well looking :p) human being. Tried to seep a joke into this but still the sadness prevails. All your wishes will come true.

Expression ! said...

Lots of hugs for you.I wish you always find him in your heart alive and cheerful.

AnonymousBlogger said...

As sad as it all is, your dad would be happy knowing that you have not forgotten about him. He would be very proud of you!

KAYLEE said...

hoW R U TODAY?

Margie said...

Hi Keshi
Hope you are doing ok today!
I just got home a little while ago, and wanted to let you know I have been thinking about you!

Sending lots and lots of HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

Your dad was so very handsome, but more than that he was a Beautiful human being with the biggest heart! as you described him.
You were blessed to have a dad like that!
Treasure all the beautiful memories!


My mom was that kind of person too!
Such a beautiful and caring soul!
I think about her each day of my life.....she gives focus to my days, even though she's not with me!

Take care hun!

Margie:)

Blessed said...

"so I ask for help from someone out there who may know where you are..."
I know where he is--HEAVEN.

"Missing forever" Not forever even tho it feels that way. One day you will be reunited and it will feel as if it was only yesterday that you saw him last.

My heart goes out to you my dear sweet Keshi.

George said...

I am so sorry Keshi ... you would not be human if you didn't miss him and want to see him again. You're precious and so are your memories.

[[[[[hug]]]]]

Anonymous said...

ref to Niki

when u have a dad like that
it is hard on the guys who want to court u


He has set a standard that most guys wont be able to live up to

and u will always judge the guy in comparison with your dad

Nora said...

Stellar writing Keshi. I'm so sorry for your loss. Stay strong. Your father is very proud of you. x

anits said...

Hi keshi.hope you are ok...even though u cant see him physically...you still seeing him within you.. that is wat LOVE!
a big hugs for you dear!

take care!

javagirl1111 said...

Oh, Keshi...you are making the tears well up in my eyes and sting. I wish I could give you a real live hug right now. And even knowing that that really wouldn't help. This is just so sad.

Much Love and Prayers Today for dear Keshi...

Kina

Fleiger said...

I know what you feel... Sometimes it is just unfair.

The Phosgene Kid said...

Great song. I love "world" music, have a lot of Arab, Indian, and Asian music. Don't understand a lick of most of it, but love the tones and sounds. beautiful stuff.

I miss my folks all the time - perfectly natural. That's ok though ,because that is how they live on - through us. Still, it would be nice to be able to talk to my dad when I have problems...

Mumbai Guy said...

I understand how you feel. Lost close and dear one myself last year and can say life changes it meaning to something completely opposite.

Isnt wierd that we just are hapless in front of life?

Keshi said...

Geet I feel ya...HUGGGGGGGGGZ!

**Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself

Its not that ur doing it to urself..it's natural..its human...it's a part of u. If u try to fight those feelings, then u wudnt be u right?

Anyways ur a very brave girl.


-----------------------------------

God bless u BEV! I dunno how u do it...I really dunno. U have gone thru so much.

Did u hear abt ur friend?

HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------

aww ty Southy HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Mohan ty matey!

Time is only making it worse...atleast for me...it's been a very long time Mohan but the emptiness seem to grow...

-----------------------------------

Kaylee I did. I wish u all the good luck in the world sweetie.


-----------------------------------

Margie hun I cant even imagine losing my mum...it's too painful for me. HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!

Both ur parents must be beautiful souls...I can see them both from within u...U R SO SPECIAL Margie.


**My hubby's dad was just 45 when he left him at a young age of 15, and his mom died at 50

thats so very sad!


***HUGS***

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Anuj that was so sweet. ty n HUGGGGGGGGGZ right bak at ya!

Why d u sound so sad in ur blog? U ok?

Im sorry if this post made u sad...:*(

-----------------------------------

Silvara ty sweetie. HUGGGGGGGGGZ!

Losing someone u love is the biggest loss in life.

-----------------------------------

Choco ur granpa sounds like a very cool and loving man. I wish I knew him too. Cos I never knew both my grandparents...well I've seen my maternal granpa but I was too lil then to get to know him. He died when he was abt 70. My dad's dad died when my dad was abt 7months old. And then my granma got married again and my dad never liked his step-dad...cos he used to beat him alot. Thats what he told me.


**he was the only one who believed in me when i wanted to quit school ... he kept me going

Just like him, my dad was the only one who was very interested in my studies and who came to all my Prize-Givings and clapped for every single student. And then he wasnt there from Year-10 Prize-Giving onwards..cos he died when I was 16.


Im sure ur granpa is watching every single step u take...

God bless ya girl!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Srijith tnxx!

Sometimes I feel his presence...so very close to me..I wish I cud touch him tho...


-----------------------------------

Menchie God bless both u and ur loving dad!


**It's good that you're writing about it.

yes...it helps me to tackle the grief...atleast for a short while...


-----------------------------------

Sun_follower ty!

** We all just met your father today... here in your blog... he lives.

that line from u touched me deeply. HUGGGGGGGGGZ n TY!




Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Aidan!

** I will never say the words "god has a plan for us all"

I know..sometimes it sounds so fake. If God knew better wud he do such a thing...like break ppl's hearts by taking their loved-ones way too soon.

HUGGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

MWAHHHHHHHH Amy ty!

U dun hv to say a thing...u being here means alot to me.


Im glad u like the lyrics of the song. This music video is not the actual movie's video. The actual movie is a black n white movie from my dad's younger days...I hv seen the movie and it's a beautiful story with great actors...very sad ending tho.


-----------------------------------

Jim Im so sorry to hear abt ur mum n dad. Ur mum's death must hv been really painful to experience. I cant imagine my life w.o. mum. And like u said, losing a loved-one makes u do thing u hv never done b4..such as praying, crying, not wanting anything in life again...


**u gotta let go
or your dad wont get atma shanti

I cant let go of something that I just cant...Im not gonna fight it...cos its a part of me. ppl may call me too emotional etc etc but I cant help that...this is how I feel and until it dies naturally I will feel it...and Im not sure if it'd even die..


-----------------------------------

HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ Aditi!




Keshi.

KAYLEE said...

//I wish u all the good luck in the world sweetie.//

Thanks I am.Very nervous about it.Of course my family doesnt know it cuz i dont show it but I have not eaten hardly anything for 4 days cuz of it!:(

Keshi said...

Anony heyy!

** I haven't taken anything because if she's not there to give it to me, I don't want it.

I like that quality in u.


-----------------------------------

ty Priya!

** but look at the mirror and u can see him in you which can always bring joy forever.

alot of ppl tell me I hv my father's lips and his gentleness...in a way it brings me joy but sometimes it makes me cry so much...


-----------------------------------

Murane HUGGGGGGGGGZ n ty!

**don't crawl the mountain. he's with you already.

thats a beautiful thing to say...I'll keep that in mind.


I know u lost ur dad too. U really help me retain my sanity. TY!

-----------------------------------

Dalicia he died. I dun think I can ever see him again in this life.


-----------------------------------

Caz I really do feel like that sometimes...the things I say, the way I act, the smiles...


HUGGGGGGGGGZ n ty!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Icedude ty so much!

**so that whenever u meet him upstairs, he doesn't have a chance to complain

u think so? But it seems like a very long wait for that...:(


I will see that movie for sure...ty so much!

btw I had to publish the whole comment cos there's no way to hude one part of the comment, is there? :( Sorry!


-----------------------------------

Princess hey ty!

Sickness is inevitable but when it happens to young ppl, it's extra sad. I hope ur friend's dad gets better soon.



Keshi.

anuj said...

nopes.. m nt sad :)

alls well keshi ..
hope ur doin grt too ;)

Keshi said...

Poo aww ty n HUGGGGGGGZ to ya as well!

Im finding it so hard to bring bak my smile these days...I feel everything is a lie...this whole frikkin life. dun u think?

-----------------------------------

Amit I was so very sad to hear u lost ur mum. HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ! I dunno how I can live w.o. my mum...u r so very strong.


**and,till date,I still cannot feel extremely happy or extremely sad.But,that's life...

I agree..Im the same...I hv never been the same since my dad died. I dun wanna be so overjoyed abt anything anymore...cos nothing is permanent.

But when u feel sad, Im here to talk ok? cos u were here for me and that means alot to me.

-----------------------------------

Sam that verse broke my heart! U lost a dear friend? How very sad. Can I ask how she died?


**smile and celebrate life in her memory

Loved that...ur such a great friend Sam. Im proud of u.


I know...I do certain things like my dad used to do. And Im always living my life the way he wud hv loved me to. He once told me this:

"help ppl in need when they come to u...it's not a big deal to do is it?"

He said that cos some neighborhood kids wanted some help with their homework...and they came to me...I was a bit reluctant cos I was sleepy at the time...thats when he said that to me. Those words stuck in my head for life.

-----------------------------------

Vik ur such a great mate...ty n HUGGGGGGGGGZ!

Im amazed at all the beautiful things ppl say here...not even my close cousins give me this many hugs.

ty for being here...it means alot to me.




Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Lad WC n ty! Thats such a beautiful thing to say...


-----------------------------------

TT I totally understand :) ty for the smiles n HUGGGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------

Desperado it feels great to know that u enjoyed the music n the lyrics.


-----------------------------------

Banter u liked it too...wow Im glad. HUGGGGGGZ n ty!



-----------------------------------

awww Cindy MWAHHHHHHHH!


-----------------------------------


Jeevan u identified my dilemma...I really felt like I hugged my dad when I hugged his relative on Sat.

And my dad used to hug me and my sis all the time...he used to sit between us on the sofa and put his big arms ard us and hug n kiss us. o he was such a warm heart! Im crying as I write this...

ty Jeevan for ur well-wishes!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Aakash I felt ur HUG across the miles...ty so much! It means alot to me...u hv no idea!


**Why, think of everything youve got.
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.


Beautiful beautiful words...so beautiful and so true!

A BIG TY to u!

-----------------------------------

Niki ty sweetie!

**ur dad is very handsome!!
why dont u marry a SL man looks like him


I know...he was one of the HANDSOMEST men in his batch too. He was also a very well-known Police Officer in Sri Lanka. But his life wasnt very long cos he was too brigh a candle that burnt too fast.


I dun want a man in my life to make me happy...and the only man who truly loved me. I think I had the best man in the world as my dad...and thats enough to keep me happy for eternity.'

ty so much Niki ur so sweet. HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------

Tre that is one of the most BEAUTIFUL comments I received on this post. TY!

**I would hope that one day my son would feel as strongly about me as you do your dad

Ur son is one of the very few LUCKIEST kids on Earth to have u as his DAD!


HUGGGGGGGGGGZ n ty!


Keshi.

susan said...

awww...Keshi...I'm so sorry for your pain. (((Hugs)))

Keshi said...

aww ty so much Ash!

-----------------------------------

ty so much Vikas HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------

Cap ur HUG means alot to me too. HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ n ty!

Right now if HUGS could build a bridge, it'll take me all the way to heaven to see my dad. I received that many wonderful HUGS.

-----------------------------------


MWAHHHHHHHH Shionge ty so much!


-----------------------------------

Asha ur comment had me crying...cos it's so very touching. ty n HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

**He was soo handsome Keshi!

He was very tall and whenever he walked into a room, he was so very visible..not only cos of his handsome frame but also cos he was such a big personality. Such a loving, pleasant guy who loved to laugh and also help ppl all the time. He brought a truckload of destitute ppl home during some racial riots...we had strangers sleeping in our livingroom all cos my dad felt sorry for them and wanted to protect them. They were with us for abt a month. He brought loads of food for them too. Thats how big his heart was.


**I am so sorry you lost him so young.GOD loves good ppl it seems.

I feel so sad that he died so young too. God has alot to ans to when I see Him.

-----------------------------------

hey Alok!

**words r insignificant here and they often cheat us ....

they do ha...


ty Alok!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

HE u always make good sense. ty!


**So I keep Dad alive by trying (and usually failing miserably) to be a kinder, gentler, human being.

I know ur dad already...cos I so can see the wonderful n intelligent him thru u!

Ur kids wud def hv to be GREAT too. Cos they u HE's kids.

HUGGGGGGGGGGZ mate!

-----------------------------------

Heyy Prashant!


**My Say : Keshi, Do you really need answer?Do you?

I can do w.o. an ans but how do I fight the emptiness?

-----------------------------------

ty Rose!

**the space of a father is something that can never be filled by anyone else.

yes...no matter how old ur parents may get or how long it may be since they died, there's no replacement for them in this world.


-----------------------------------


ty Lisa! HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------


Rick HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

Words dun help much I know...but having u all here is such a magical feeling.

-----------------------------------


aww Helen I really felt that HUG. ty n MWAHHHHHHHHHH!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Nanditha ty dear!

**but as long as he lives in you ! you have not lost him?


I know...Im a part of him and he's a part of me...


-----------------------------------

Paul sounds like it's a terrific book. I've read some books abt Death b4.


** No more. Nulled and voided by the universe, so to speak

and that exactly is the reason behind all the shock...and it's been a very long few years since my dad died but the shock is still brandnew...

ty Paul for taking time to come here n comment!

-----------------------------------

Thumbee ur comment brough a tear to my eyes...HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ dear! I know ur granma is watching over ya too.


**When u look into the mirror, u'll be able to see "him".. "He's" there..

yeah...I see him in my features and sometimes in my behavior too. U said that so right. ty sweetie!


-----------------------------------

heyy Jeya ty!

**Whomever u love , u will have to lose them one day or the other....

true...but having him die so young doesnt make sense to me...life seems like a big void bottomless pit.


I didnt try Mozilla...will let u know. tnxx!

-----------------------------------

Nirek ty n HUGGGGGGGGZ!

**Dad's position can never be fulfilled with anyone's love!

Spot on. No one in this world can replace ur parents.


-----------------------------------

PS ur so right...


**But NOTHING makes the pain go away.

Nothing at all. I sometimes wonder if it's some sort of punishment for me.


My cellular album is all I've got now...


ty sweetie!


-----------------------------------

Chap its been a very long time but the pain is still very brandnew...I cant forget him neither can I move on....

-----------------------------------

Autumn HUGGGGGGGGGGZ! Such an honest and realistic view from u, as always.


**at a time before you were truly grown, before he had time to know you as you are now.

thats exactly wut I meant by the 'forbidden time' bit. He never knew me like this...I wonder what he'd think of me if he knew me now...Im all grown, went to Uni, independent, working, driving ard, meeting ppl, looking after my mum etc etc...he's never known me like this. He only knew me up until I turned 16. And I never knew him after his 44th bday....I wonder what he's be like if he lived now. I feel robbed of time n moments with him.


**thoughts about how my brother, to cite one example, is missing out on the lives of his children,

***HUGS*** It must be so very hard! I cant even imagine wut ur going thru losing a brother. Its just so very sad.


**then it is such a nice thought that they might be watching us

Ur brother must know what a beautiful angel u r...he must be seeing u and me talking this way. Thats indeed a very nice thought to think.

Luv ya Autumn! It seems all the nice ppl on this Earth go too soon.

-----------------------------------

Jenny those words mean ALOT to me. ty n HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!



Keshi.

Ramya said...

He's probably somewhere around you... why ? within you !!!
But am sure he's constantly watching over you !
:)

Keshi said...

ty Coco and Im writing this with heavy tears dancing in my eyes...

-----------------------------------

Ebezp HUGGGGGGGGZ! That was so cute :)

mebbe we should just run away on a HUGathon!


I hope u come of the bad times ur facing right now mate. Im here for u anytime ok? TC now.

-----------------------------------

Missy u r so right. A father is always such an important figure in a girl's life. I realised that more after his death. Cos I got to see how some ppl changed, how the very relatives who were helped by my dad spew venom on us, how ppl who laughed with my dad when he lived now mocked at us...

When u lose a father, u lose alot of fake ppl in ur life too...thats the only good thing abt it tho.

ty n HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

Its beautiful cos its real feelings...ty Utopia!


-----------------------------------

Acid ty mate...HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!


Keshi.

Poo said...

Hi Sexyroo How are you ladoo ??? Check b/wfrnds have some surprise for you


Love poo

Keshi said...

Diya deary Im glad u like the song...HUGGGGGGGGGZ n ty!


-----------------------------------

Ghosty ty so much!

** But I am happy because of the way you are today, no one will ever doubt for a moment you are a survivor and a fighter and (a reasonably well looking :p) human being

hehehe so cute...that really made me smile :) ty n HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!


Im a survivor of many battles...some u already know of, some u dun. But Im glad u realised Im a tough survivor. So r many others out there.


-----------------------------------

ty Expression thats so true!


-----------------------------------

aww AB Im honored to hear that from u. ty n HUGGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

Kaylee Im well ty sweetie. How abt u?

-----------------------------------

Margie ur parents hv got to be AMAZING. Cos they r MARGIE's parents.

I wish I knew them tho..I mean when they lived. D u hv photos of em? I hv alot more pics of my dad in his later years...I will scan em n put em on my blog some other day.


HUGGGGGGGGGZ n ty for being here for me! U r always here for me. That means alot to me.

-----------------------------------

hey Blessed HUGGGGGGGGGGZ n ty!


**One day you will be reunited and it will feel as if it was only yesterday that you saw him last.

really? If thats true then I cant wait for that day to dawn...


-----------------------------------

ty George HUGGGGGGGGGGZ! U being here means alot to me.


-----------------------------------

Anony...

**and u will always judge the guy in comparison with your dad

Im not sure if thats true cos my dad didnt live long enough to observe my dating preferences...but I know he nearly beat up some guys who whsitled at me and called out my name and I was only 14 then...:)

-----------------------------------

Nora tnxx hun! MWAHHHHH!


-----------------------------------

Anits ur so sweet...ty so much and HUGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------

Javagirl HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!

**you are making the tears well up in my eyes and sting

I know that feeling all too well!


-----------------------------------


Fleiger heyy tnxx!

**Sometimes it is just unfair.

yep..and I see no meaning in this stupid life that somehow seems like one big fat lie.


-----------------------------------

aww Phos I felt so sad when u said u wish ur dad was ard to talk...cos thats how I feel too...often. ***HUGS***


**Don't understand a lick of most of it, but love the tones and sounds. beautiful stuff

Im glad u like the music here. Its a truly emotional song too.


-----------------------------------

MG Im sorry to hear abt ur lose...HUGGGGGGGGGGZ! Can I ask who it was?

**Isnt wierd that we just are hapless in front of life?

oyeah...I plan things in life but life sometimes laughs back at me. Fate mocks me. Now I dun plan anything...it's been a very long time since I made plans.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Kaylee why cant u eat? Dun let things get to u so much that u neglect ur health..its not something u can afford to do. I hope u u'stand that sweetie. HUGGGGGGGZ TC now!

-----------------------------------

Anuj Im glad. :)


Well I dunno abt me tho...Im in this very melancholic mood...sorry to bore u with my probs tho.


-----------------------------------

Susan HUGGGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------

Ramya I hope so too...HUGGGGGGGGGGZ n ty!


-----------------------------------

Poo HUGGGGGGGGGZ! awww ok I'll check it soon...ty!
:) U put a smile on my dial.



Keshi.

KAYLEE said...

// How abt u?//

very good today for a change.

KAYLEE said...

I do understand that but,I just am never in a mood to eat anymore:(.I guess i just need to force myself too huh?

Keshi said...

Kaylee its natural to lose appetite when ur awaiting such a big thing as surgery...I can u'stand...cos I hv been there..thru those feelings of anxiety and not wanting to eat etc...

but Im sure u'll feel ok soon...u'll get used to the decision u just made and u will eventually start getting back to ur usual routine...

JUST TC OF UR SWEET SELF!
Keshi.

Ekta said...

Well hes up there looking at u and smiling...happy that he has u as his daughter!

Poo said...

It was soooo nice talking to you :))

yeah crazy muaahhhhhhhh :)))
muaahhhh:)) lolzzzz

TC sexyrooo :)) Love you always

Kalpana said...

We don't know when the situations get bad. But, we do need to be prepared for whatever it is. It is not so easy to go thru the toughest phase on earth, missing the beloved ones. It is a pain, but we need to get along with time. Sorry for what happened. Hugz keshi.

KAYLEE said...

THANK YOU SO MUCH I AM SURE I WILL TOO:P

The Grunt said...

I feel for you, Keshi. Today has been a rough one for me, btw.

Sweetstickychewy said...

:) am glad to hear that keshi.

*Hugs*

Keshi said...

Ekta I wish for that too...HUGGGGGGGZ n ty!


-----------------------------------

Poo u too babez. ty for making me smile today..ur call was a life-saver...I was so down. And then I heard ur sweet angelic voice...and that post in BUF too. I felt somehow my dad sent u to the rescue. HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------

ty so much Kalpana. That means alot to me. HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------

Kaylee good on ya girl!


-----------------------------------

Grunty I'll pray for u...I want u to be well and happy. TC of urself.

HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------

aww ty Amy n HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!



Keshi.

Poo said...

Oye """ty for making me smile today""" Coomon on sexyroo

sweet angelic voice - Its not so nice ....i was so excited to speak to you :)))

I felt somehow my dad sent u to the rescue. :))

Common on sweetheart put on dancing shoes now and rock the offc floor :))

TC and keep that smile ON always :))

****hugzzz*****

Julia Scissor said...

God loves those who die young.

Hugs.

Keshi said...

nah Poo its real..I mean the feeling...I mean how I felt when I saw that post of ur's in BUF...not cos u mentioned me there, but cos I saw Prachi's new pics with that book I sent and also my card...it somehow spoke volumes for some reason..the way I was feeling for 4 days now suddenly changed...when I saw those pics of Prachi, something told me that my dad must hv known I was missing him badly...and he reminded me that Im surrounded by friends who really care...friends like u and that my love has reached them too...those pics were proof.

so TY!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Julia I think so too..and Im not saying this cos he's my dad, but he was TRULY a good person. He was like a LION by his looks but such a softy inside. He had a heart of gold. He genuinely helped so many ppl..ppl he didnt even know.

Also he never had big dreams...he didnt wanna earn big money or suck upto big ppl for promotions etc. Believe me SL Police is highly corrupted. He told off alot of big guys too. He did his job well and he was happy with whatever he had...and thats what I love my dad..cos he didn't run after BIG dreams. He lived for today helping ppl ard him.

TNXXX!
Keshi.

Poo said...

:)

Keshi common with a new post ...you will feel better

Lets have a quiz/game here

Names for Keshi???

I call you Keshiroo, BIG Ladoo !!! ...so what do others call you?

Lets see how many sweet cuddly names you will be named !!!

Outdoorsy Girl said...

Keshi...This was such a touching post. I don't know how anyone could've read it with dry eyes.

This kind of pain never ends, but eventually you are able to add loving, happy memories again in with the sadness.

You seem to savor your memories of your dad and that will always keep him alive in your heart...until you can be with him again. Hugs to ya, girl.

Keshi said...

Poo I love the Ladoo one the best haha! btw I love ladoos.

well lets see my other nics...

HE calls me Keshtar
WW calls me Keshikookaburra
Cheesy calls me Keshur
Neha calls me Kookie
Ishi n many others call me Kesh
Lisa calls me Chica
Saffy calls me Keshipoppydollpearl
Jit recently decided to call me Kesar :)
And there r many more...


Nice one Poo HUGGGGGGZ!

Keshi.

Rajeev said...

Im really sorry to hear that! I donno wht to say here! :(
*Hugs*

peace & love
Jeevy

Keshi said...

Outdoorsy that was very touching one from u too. HUGGGGGGGGGGZ n ty for being here!

-----------------------------------

Rajeev ty so much for being here. And HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!



Keshi.

Poo said...

so will there be a quizz..

Imagine a name for you from everybody

This will be fun :))

Keshi said...

It really will be a fun one Poo. It will be in my next post for sure. ty for the idea! MWAHHHHHH!

Keshi.

Jim said...

Oh Shit Keshi
that wasnt me

i was quoting Sharukh

i am not emotional
i loved my dad

but i knew it was coming
i just cried for 5 mins
and i moved on

my mom died earlier
but i didnt love my mom as much

Jim said...

Sing, sing a song
Sing out loud
Sing out strong
Sing of good things not bad
Sing of happy not sad.

Sing, sing a song
Make it simple to last
Your whole life long

Don't worry that it's not
Good enough for anyone
Else to hear
Just sing, sing a song.

Sing, sing a song
Let the world sing along
Sing of love there could be
Sing for you and for me.

Sing, sing a song
Make it simple to last
Your whole life long

Don't worry that it's not
Good enough for anyone
Else to hear
Just sing, sing a song.

Keshi said...

Jim so it was SRK's story...I sort of smelt it :)

Anyways...I cant sing when Im not so upto it...I really dun feel like it today.

tnxx for trying to cheer me up tho...HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!


Keshi.

Jim said...

i have a selective memory


when i think of my dad
(we have one day in the calendar reserved for this- All Souls day)_

i remember the good times only
and i sing

Keshi said...

Jim I cant be selective when it comes to thoughts of ppl who r precious to me.


**when i think of my dad
(we have one day in the calendar reserved for this- All Souls day)_

U wudnt believe it, TODAY is that day for Hindus! I didnt even know until my mum just told me.


**i remember the good times only
and i sing

me too...but remembering cant be forced either...happy/sad thoughts come into my mind and I cant fight em just to keep myself smiling...it wud be a lie then.



Keshi.

Anonymous said...

we also have one day called ALL SAINTS DAY

when the souls have finished their days in purgatory

they are taken to heaven
and they become saints

watching over us
so sing Keshi

i bet your dad is a saint now
and watching over u
and smiling

dont let him see u cry

Anonymous said...

Well OK
but when i want to cry
i have a drink

Dream Catcher said...

A big HUG...this is such a sweet post..
i dont have anything else to say..just *hugs* n lot of them...

Sam said...

"help ppl in need when they come to u...it's not a big deal to do is it?"

dats a lovely thing to have been said!! and explains a lot abt u...

as for my friend... well i'll tell u some other day... may at BUF or on chat someday... the reason was LOVE.... funny isn't it??

PoisOn CoAtEd ELiXir said...

Dear Keshi,

i have been there (almost) and have had these feelings, these questions have troubled my mind a great deal for a long time. in many ways they still do.
I dont know where people go when they die, but i feel its very wrong to say that their memories will die, for they would continue to live in us and will always be a part of who we are and why we are.
most of our actions will be a result of their presence and absence from our life.
you know that life can be really hard at times and happiness is only intermittent, so i find myself at peace when i believe that its better that they didnt have to face much more of life. its our selfishness that makes us want them to continue and be with us.
it is sad, but all this sadness helps bring people together.
all the love.

anuj said...

you will b fine soon keshi

ToOothlEss WOndeR! said...

They say one can cry her little pains off. And it is true too. Sometimes we prefer not to do that, because the the pain is woven by strings of sweet memories. And through the pain, you see the light of love that lingers long after the people you love are gone - through our times of happiness, and otherwise.
This is how I take it _ I think they've gone to a place far away where there is no phone, but they're happy there.
What you need is a nice warm hug.
You take care.

Kulpreet said...

Sorry Keshi.

I am sure you will, eventually, make him proud.

Kulpreet

mathew said...

mm..sometimes words are not enough to sooth someone..but pray for you..

Poo said...

Meri Jaan Kaise ho aaj aap...(My Love how are you today).

Abhi Jaldi se hasne ka aur masti karne ka(Now smile and do loads of masti)

Nachnega (u Must Dance)

Aur Pyar karna (And Love)

MIss you :))) i am still in offc working and was thinking about you and everybody whom i have met in this 4 corner Box(Computer) :)

Loads of love to you ...when you this message it will be morning so smile sweetie :)))

TC

Love Poo :))

Nadine said...

I'm sorry for your pain. Losing a loving parent is never easy. It seems you had fond memories of a man that you love greatly. May God give you comfort and peace.

gautami tripathy said...

Keshi, you are looking at all the wrong places. Look within yourself. He is there. He was never gone from there.

Stop looking right now. You will find your peace.

vishesh said...

oh keshi....i dont want to comment....

i cant think of saying anything...

Alok said...

Hey Keshi ... how r u today????

toby said...

...:)
Sorry, I'm still chuckling about your "Fucking" post. And your hilarious anti-man rant. I was wondering where that came from...
Others have expressed better than I can their sympathy for your loss but, on a slightly different tack, I hope you don't set the bar too high for blokes who will never measure up to your dad.

Art said...

It must be so terrible like this.. I remember when dad had to go thru brain surgery.. I was tesnsed like never.. I was at home taking care of my kid brother, while mom was at the hospital.. That was the longest wait ever.. And I cried a lot after I got to know he was fine.. All that tension released, I felt like a new person.. But till date if dad complains of headache we all get scared...

Art said...

Somehow this got missed in the previous message..

Take care dear.. Nobody can fill ur dad's space.. may be to make for it... God has sent u so many good friends.. and will keep sending.. more

Autumn Storm said...

Likewise, Kesh, somehow I think they do, that your father does, see and know and feel you still. Hugs to you, sweetie, xo

KAYLEE said...

HOPE YOU ARE WELLL!

trinitystar said...

As someone said in one of the comments ... Gaze into the mirror and you will see your father living in you. Always.
hugs for you Keshi!

Margie said...

I have a surprise for you!
I actually posted a poem today!
Can't believe it myself!

I came to tell you as at least I'll have 1 comment on it...haha!
I think I'm long forgotten in Blogviile by everyone but you!

You are too sweet a person to forget about me.

Well, I'm out for the rest of the evening....to a movie and diiner with my swt hrt!

Bye for now Keshi dear!

HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

Margie
P.S Thanks for the sweet card,
It brightened up my day!

Maddie said...

Hi sweetie -
I understand the endless emptiness
of loving someone who is gone -
you keep thinking you want to share your
milestones and special moments with them -
and have little conversations in your head -
and Keshi -
he is there - listening - with you -
not in the sense that you have understand
"being there" all your life with him -
but he is still with you.

Hugs sweetie :( and he really was such a
vibrant handsome man - i see in that photo -
he exudes such life....

so his life is not extinguished - just changed
form - our life on earth I think is brief -
and you will be with him again:)

Keshi said...

Anoy tnxx!

Actually I never really cried all that much b4 he died.

if drinks were an option for me when I want to cry, I'd be dead by now :)

-----------------------------------

aww ty Dream_Catcher. HUGS right bak at ya!


-----------------------------------

Sam ty!

** reason was LOVE.... funny isn't it??

o no, so was it a suicide??


-----------------------------------

Poison WC n ty!

**most of our actions will be a result of their presence and absence from our life

I agree. Memories dun die but they can fade with time...but the LOVE they left will NEVER die.


yes it's our selfishness that wants our loved-ones to live more n more. But I didnt ask for more than normal...my dad was only 44 when he died.

ty for ur beautiful comment! Lots of love to u too.

-----------------------------------

Anuj ty ur so sweet!


-----------------------------------

Toothless ty and thats so true.


** I think they've gone to a place far away where there is no phone, but they're happy there.

awww...I wish they had a phone tho. Wudnt u wanna call me if I go there too? :)


***HUGS***

-----------------------------------


Kulz tnxx mate!



-----------------------------------


Matty I love praying...just sitting and thinking of beautiful ppl and feeling like I hv just spoken to God.

ty!

-----------------------------------

aww Poo HUGGGGGGGGGGZ! :)

Love Hindi!


**Meri Jaan Kaise ho aaj aap...(

Main thik hun, dhanyavad ;-) aur tum?


**Abhi Jaldi se hasne ka aur masti karne ka

Mein Masti rani hai...jante ho? :):)


**Nachnega

Kya tum mujhe apna Shoes de sakte ho?




**Aur Pyar karna (And Love)

awwww...aap bahut khoobsoorat ladki hai :)


MWAHHHHHHH my Hindi sucks but I wanted to say those to u in that beautiful language u speak.

Subh din meri dhost ;-)



Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Nadine!

**It seems you had fond memories of a man that you love greatly

yes...he lived only for 16yrs of my life but built a castle of golden memories in that short time.


-----------------------------------

Gautami thats so true. ty darl. HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------

Vish its ok...being here is good enough. ty n HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------

Alok Im doing good today :) tnxx!

And how r u?


-----------------------------------

G'day Toby and tnxx!

Im glad my funny posts cud make u laugh. I love to make ppl laugh :)


**I hope you don't set the bar too high for blokes who will never measure up to your dad.

hehe alot of ppl tell me this...well my dad was a strict man too...he set us high standards of discipline and never allowed a boy to get near us :) but we were teenagers bak then. I'd say he was a tad too strict in that aspect. But nah it hasnt made me run away from all blokes...I know what I want and Im sure my dad wudnt mind that now hehe.

tnxx Toby!

-----------------------------------

Art Im so glad ur dad got better. It must hv been a very DIFFICULT period for u and ur family. HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!

And ty so much for ur very kind words...I appreciate u being here for me.

And dun worry...ur dad will be fine. God bless!

-----------------------------------

MWAH Autumn!


**somehow I think they do, that your father does, see and know and feel you still.

I think so too...I really do.

ty sweetie!


-----------------------------------

Kaylee Im fine but hows u my dear?

Did u hv some food last night?

-----------------------------------


Trinity HUGGGGGGGGZ ty!


**Gaze into the mirror and you will see your father living in you.

Beautiful thought...


-----------------------------------

Margie hey hun I read it and commented. Wut a beautiful poem that is!


Enjoy dina n movie with ur man! HUGGGGGGGGGZ!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Maddie Im crying reading ur beautiful comment. HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!


**and he really was such a
vibrant handsome man - i see in that photo -
he exudes such life....


He was physically very good-looking and even better at heart. He was a very loving and jolly man. o how he used to live life! It was too fast and too short.

ty Maddie MWAHHHHHH!



Keshi.

KAYLEE said...

//Kaylee Im fine but hows u my dear?//

I am good a little stressed cuz no one does a thing around here I do it all!in a little pain too!

Did u hv some food last night?

a little bit i am getting better:)

AVIANA said...

how are you?

Trundling Grunt said...

Beautiful and sad. Take care...

Coco said...

Keshi, come on over to my place and smile : )

Blessings.

txandi said...

keshi dear, so carefree, so kind, no one would ever know with this tragedy you live.

yet meaning your life has, if so many stop by to read and comment, and one of them, was helped out from their own pit.

care yourself. ~t~

Keshi said...

Kaylee Im glad u ate atleast a lil bit. MWAHHHHHHHH good girl!

-----------------------------------

Lisa I got my Groove bak all cos of u my dear friends. MWAHHHHHHHH n ty!

-----------------------------------


Trundz ty n u too.


-----------------------------------

Coco Im on my way ty sweetie!


-----------------------------------

Txandi MWAHHHHHH!


**no one would ever know with this tragedy you live.

alot of ppl have gone thru worse tragedies in their lives...

I will check out what that link is.ty sweetie!


Keshi.

adi said...

hey keshi, hope u r feeling better now, all i can do is to pray for u... pls take care

mommyof2 said...

Don't know how to get rid of this empty feeling but I can send you lots of hugs... {{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Keshi said...

aww ty Adi HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

Mommy ur so sweet, ty n HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!



Keshi.

Kavi said...

A cornucopia of thoughts rush in. Dont quite know how to put them together..just to let you know we care for you..

Keshi said...

ty Kavi I know u care....

***HUGS***

Keshi.

alex said...

keshi,

people might go..but their love which is entrenched in memories will never fade.

The Shrew said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.I know it changes nothing but I just am and I wish I was there to give you a hug while you were writing this.

**hugs**

EXSENO said...

Hi Keshi,

I read about your father on Avianas' post today. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. My heart bleeds for you.

I understand your pain. I lost my mother and later my father. I still want to pick up the phone and call and I still miss the letters from my mother, but I can think of them now without so many tears and I can tell stories about them now and laugh at the funny things once again. Time, it takes time. I'll be praying for you.

P.S. I also cried at the song and the video.

Keshi said...

So true Alex. ty!


-----------------------------------

awww HUGGGGGGGGGGZ Shrew!


-----------------------------------

Exseno WC n ty so much!

yes Lisa's post touched many hearts.


**I still want to pick up the phone and call and I still miss the letters from my mother

Im so sorry to hear that u hv lost both ur parents. I dunno how I'd cope if I lose my mum. She's all I have right now.

I know nothing I sau wud change things at ur end so I just wanna give u a big hug.

HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

And I hv a feeing our lost parents r watching us and connecting us to be there for each other.

TC my friend!



Keshi.

prabirsaha said...

Keshi,

My respect goes to this great soul. People should know about this man, let me know when you are ready. My email id is reachprabir@yahoo.com and my contact no. is 0421010510

Best Regards
Prabir

prabirsaha said...

Keshi,

My respect goes to this great soul. People should know about this man, let me know when you are ready. My email id is reachprabir@yahoo.com and my contact no. is 0421010510

Best Regards
Prabir