Wednesday, February 28

Body and Soul

I have been tagged by my beautiful friend Ish. She reckons I should list 5 things that I love about my body and 5 things that I love about myself. hmmm quite a tough one cos I love so many body parts man haha! Ok not that I work for the Mortuary but cmon, a girl loves alot of things about her body ha. Now let me put my thinking cap on and select the top 5 things that I really love about my body and self then.

5 things I love about my body:

1. My Eyes

I love my eyes cos they give me Sight - imagine a world that I cannot see? I can't even go there. I really feel for the blind, it's truly heart-breaking! I also love my eyes cos they can never lie. They always tell you the truth, whether I'm happy, sad, hyper or crazy they show it straight away :). In the misty morning fog with...Our hearts a thumpin' and you...My brown eyed girl, ...You my brown eyed girl... ... ...

2. My Ears

I love my ears cos they give me Sound. Cos I'm such a music freak and I love listening to birds, trees and waves, I can't imagine my world without Sound. I have a young cousin who can't hear - he's deaf. Looking at his world, I feel truly privileged to have ears that are healthy. These are the things we should be happy about in life cos some people don't even know what Sound is. The hills fill my heart with the sound of music...My heart wants to sing every song it hears... ... ...

3. My Vocal Cords

I love my vocal cords cos it gives me my voice and speech. If not for them I wouldn't have said 'Momma' which is the most beautiful word in the world, and I wouldn't be able to sing which is a big part of my peace of mind. That same cousin who can't hear, can't speak either. He talks to me in Sign language and sometimes I go inside and cry. Cos I can't imagine his world at all - a world without being able to say exactly what he feels and making sure the other person understands him fully. Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?...Tell me how you feel?...Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak...And they're talking it to me... ... ...

4. My Hips

Ok I know that many girls today don't like big hips and they wanna look like stick figures. Well I'm not one of them. I'm naturally curvy and people say I have voluptious hips. I love my hips cos they are a plus to my figure and makes me feel like a REAL woman, hubba hubba ;-). And I'm on tonight...You know my hips don't lie...And I'm starting to feel it's right...All the attraction, the tension... ... ...

5. My Legs

I love my legs cos they take me places. The fact that some people are in wheelchairs for life makes me realise how lucky I am. It's a great blessing to be able to walk, run, jump, play etc etc. They maybe simple things in life but they are things some people can only dream of doing. btw my legs are also well-shaped, strong and hot oooyeah ;-). Hot legs, wearing me out...Hot legs, you can scream and shout...Hot legs, are you still in school... ... ...

5 things I love about myself:

1. I love how I can express my heart out freely. I know it's not a very easy thing to do but it seems I have that in me naturally and I simply love doing it. I think it's really important to listen to your heart, talk to it, find out from it, speak it and follow it. Listen to your heart...there's nothing else you can do...I don't know where you're going and I don't know why...but listen to your heart...when he's calling for you... ... ...

2. My ultra-sensitivity. While I know alot of people don't like being cry-babies or drama queens, it's not that I wanna be one...I am naturally one and I love that. I'd rather be crying than be a stone-heart. I'd rather be hugging alot of people than having never known what it is to send out love. I'd rather be sad, angry and lonely when I should be so, than pretend to be strong. I'd rather live with my family and be called a wimp, than pretend to be a modern and independent woman living away from home. Cos I feel and care alot for the people who raised me and I'd rather be with them than be alone. I'd rather see the world from another angle...We are everyday angels...So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive...And I'd like to stay that way... ... ...

3. I love the fact that I can eventually face any challenge no matter how hard it can be. At the beginning I'd tremble, worry, cry and even blog and bitch about it. But then later on I know for sure that I can handle any monster. I've been through alot and I will not let anything/anyone get to me. Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride...Nobody's gonna slow me down...Oh no, I've got to keep on movin'... ... ...

4. I love the way I can connect with almost anyone, anywhere I go. Irrespective of age, sex, status, class, race, faith etc etc, I can easily strike up a happy and interesting conversation with anyone out there - it could even be the PM of Australia and I'd be chatting with him like he's my friend. My sister is very quiet in that respect and she thinks I'm a hyperactive chatterbox :) . But I like the fact that I know we are all human underneath our years, skin, uniforms and designations, and all it takes for one human to reach out to another is just talk like he/she is your friend - simply be human. If they say - why, why, tell em that is human nature...Reaching out...To touch a stranger..Electric eyes are evrywhere... ... ...

5. I love how I apply some humor to every aspect of my life, be it good or bad. I see Life as a passing flash, a fun ride that will only last for a short while, so I choose to laugh while I can. I know alot of people fear death but that's cos people are afraid of the uknown and also cos they think this Life is forever. When you realise that Death (and perhaps Taxes) is the only certain thing in this life, and that this Life is a BIG joke like Norbit hehe, then you'd start living life to the fullest taking one day at a time. Nothing lasts forever folks so c'mon don't be so hard on yourselves - we are here only for a while. So never mind the darkness...we still can find a way...'Cause nothin' lasts forever...even cold November rain... ... ...

If anyone out there can name the songs (and the singers) that I put at the end of each point here, then you're my kinda champion ;-).

Current Music: Say It Right by Nelly Furtado

Monday, February 26

Short Stories

Alive And Kicking

G'day mates how's it going? Last week I was so busy at both work and home, I didn't have time to blog at all. So you wouldn't have seen me in your blogs. Anyways it's Monday now and I'm back in business :-). btw my sweetest aunt from NZ came over on Sat for a 2-week break so I'm so very happy at the moment. She's my mum's younger sis and she used to dote on us when we were kids. She's my fav aunt out of all my aunts, and she's the mum of the bride of that wedding in NZ I went to recently. I love having her over, it's so much fun when family is over, especially when it is a wonderful person.

Tale Of A Passive 'Stalker'
A dork started following me on Friday, a real dork. I was going to this Desi shop to get a DVD on Friday night. As it's close to my house, I was walking (not driving) and then I saw this North Indianish guy - he was good-looking, about 25-28yrs of age, driving past that shop, staring at me ofcourse (rolling eyes here..duh!). As he was driving I assumed he would be gone out of my suburb by the time I went to that Desi shop, got my DVD and was walking back home. Hell na he hasn't gone anywhere! Cos as I stepped out of the shop with my DVD, he was right behind me (I assume he parked his car, then traced my whereabouts and ended up at the shop entrance). Even then I was thinking that maybe he came to buy something at the shop. It didn't seem like that either cos he didn't go into the shop, instead he walked beside me - like I was his shopping companion, LOL good going mate! His guts were truly shocking. As I was listening to my iPod at the time, I used it as a weapon against any conversation that he might start. He didn't stop anywhere, he kept on walking with me - not ahead or behind me, but right beside me. I was now becoming really irritated as he was turning and looking at my face all the time too. So what I did then was something that most women would do to avoid a stalker - go into another shop and pretend like I was shopping there for hours so he can faint while waiting for me (I know most men hate shopping). Ah ah, but not this stalker Keshi. Instead of standing out and fainting for good, he came into the same shop! I was like WTF how do I tell him to just get out of my face and way. I was walking down the isle as if I was looking for something that was not there hehe. From the corner of my eyes I was trying to see where that loser was and whether he had left. You think he left? There he was holding a bunch of black socks and asking a shop assistant something about it. I knew he was just pretending to be interested in the socks - he was just waiting for me to come around, what a jerk ha? I felt like smothering him with those black socks right there, but I knew that would make me go to prison and nah I wasn't sure if I could blog from prison. Well anyways while he was inquiring about the socks, I thought it's the best time to get out of the shop and disappear. And I did just that. Guess what he did as I was leaving? He threw away the bunch of socks (while that lady was still talking to him) and came behind me haha! That was so funny I really laughed but thank God he didn't see me laughing. Then he started walking abreast with me, same as before. I then stopped on my tracks and gave him a very annoyed look (that look was long overdue btw). Then he was a tad uncomfy and said to me 'I'm sorry to bother you, I wasn't following you if that's what you were thinking...' and he looked a bit scared cos of the 'You'llbeinacoffinsoonifyoufollowmeanymore' kinda look I gave him. I was thinking to myself 'If you don't think you're following me then you're intellectually challenged to understand what FOLLOWING is, cos this IS FOLLOWING you loser'. Goshhh how can people deny what they're doing so obviously??!! Anyways I then kept walking and he wouldn't leave me alone at all. Then he stopped me and asked me something. I had to take off my ear-phones and then he said 'do you live around here?'...I said 'No' (that was a big big lie). And he goes 'oh ok, so do you live in the next suburb?'...I then said 'No'. He goes 'Where do you live' and I said 'I really don't know'...LOL and I put my ear-phones back on and got on an escalator and disappeared real quick. How desperate can some men be? And how can you really bring yourself to follow someone? It's a pathetic mentality. I could have easily got him to follow me further and right into the Police station cos it was really close by.

End Of A Legacy

As most of you suggested 2 weeks ago, I spoke to my friend again (the one who wouldn't talk to me cos I cancelled dinner). After 2 more futile attempts to get her to ring me back (through calls and txts), I finally emailed her asking her if she's punishing me for such a trivial thing and is letting a good friendship end cos of it. Hallelujah she fianlly replied to it! She wrote an email back saying she's not punishing me but she wants a break from being STOOD UP all the time! HELLO did I do that? Hell nah, I let her know that morning itself that I won't be able to make it for dinner and she calls it being 'STOOD UP'. I then sent her the dictionary meaning of being 'STOOD UP', incase she didn't really know what that word meant. I really sent her the meaning of it and told her not to accuse me of something that I didn't do, and if she wants a break from me that it's really fine...cos I too needed a break from her massive life-long WHINGING spree! And I also told her that if she can't understand my situation that day and let go of something that happened about a month ago, then I don't see any point in this friendship either. I told her that I'm done with her. No she has no reason to end this friendship...but I do. She's faithless...I can't afford to have such people in my life. So long my friend.

Happy week ahead dudes and dudettes!

Current Music: Break My Stride by Unique II

Wednesday, February 21


These are a bunch of rare and beautiful hearts that have changed my life for the better. Hit the PLAY button ofcourse and the slideshow is not in any particular order. And if you're one of my fav blogger buddies and your picture don't appear in this slide-show, it's not cos I forgot you. It's cos either I couldn't get a picture of you from your blog or I don't have one with me or that I believe you don't want me to show your pic on the net. Hence there are some great blogger friends of mine who are not in this slide-show and I'm really sorry about it - anyways you know who you are. So whether you're in/out of this slide-show, you are all in my heart, all the time. You are what keeps me going, thanks to all these beautiful hearts from all over the world! Lets spread LOVE and LIGHT, sending you Hugggggggz all the way from 'Straya'!

(PS: Those who are in this slide-show, just let me know if you don't want your photo here..I'll take it off. Thanks and I'm sorry if I made a booboo!)

Current Music: Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler

Monday, February 19

Threesome Thrill

I'm gonna take part in a steamy Threesome today, for a change you know. My darling Amy tagged me on this 3-Things tag that is. What were you thinking mates jeeeeez you sex maniacs!

Ok so here I go:

3 things you should know about the no. 3

1. Three coffees a day, keeps the doctor awake
2. Two's company, three's a crowd
3. God thought 3 was bad so he stopped at just 2 sexes

3 things that scare me:

1. Cockroaches, spiders - basically any sick creepy-crawly
2. The thought of a loved-one dying
3. Frikkin sea-gulls that try to kill me during lunchtime

3 people who make me laugh:

1. Myself
2. Ben Stiller
3. David Letterman

3 things I love:

1. My passion

2. My body
3. Men - ooo lala ;-)

3 things I hate:

1. Hypocrisy
2. Ill-treating old people
3. Bullshit (this includes malicious gossip)

3 things I don't understand:

1. My bloody purpose on Earth
2. My wierd neighbour who's never home
3. God's plans

3 things on my desk:

1. A bottle of Spring-water
2. Stationary
3. My mobile phone

3 things I'm doing right now:

1. d'oh doing this tag ofcourse
2. While listening to Sweet Child O'Mine
3. Poking my tongue out at you...yes you

3 things I want to do before I die:

1. Get around to writing my Will (yeah I have a big estate - my heart that is)
2. Meet atleast one blogger in real? Hello anybody out there, .. ..awww ur so far away from me.
3. Die knowing I loved the people in my life with all my heart

3 things I can do:

1. Shower for much longer than needed
2. Dance almost anywhere
3. Flirt in grand style and class ;-)

3 things you should listen to:

1. Me talking...I'm such a chatterbox
2. Me singing...yeah I can sing alrite
3. My 3yr old nephew going 'Whaaayyyy?' for anything and everything we say

3 things you should never listen to:

1. Posh-Spice singing
2. Gossip
3. Anything that's against your instincts

3 things I'd like to learn:

1. Belly-dancing
2. How to lose a jerk in less than 2 days
3. Deepest fantasies of a man. Any takers?

3 fav. foods:

1. My mum's cooking
2. Seafood
3. Marzipans

3 beverages I drink regularly:

1. Coffee
2. Fruit-flavored Vodka
3. Iced Tea

3 TV shows/Books I watched/read as a kid:

1. Sesame Street
2. Secret Seven
3. Nancy Drew

3 people I tag:

1. You
2. You
3. And you

I can see some are smiling and some are wondering hehe. Happy Monday folks!

Current Music: So Far Away by Dire Straits

Friday, February 16


Ok how did my Sucky-day go? Well it sucked big time. To be honest, to see so many men/women carrying flowers after work on V-day got me feeling a litttle blue. I was like WTF why can't I find my soul-mate? Not cos I wanted flowers on V-day but cos I feel awfully lonley sometimes, especially when I see so much romantic Love all around me. It's like Im on this eternal Love curse that I always attract jerks (got jerk-magnet genes here) and nothing works out for me. I'm such a big mush-pot and I'm living without Romance? There's something very wrong about that. Anyways please don't tell me that I'd find my man when the time is right etc etc. I'm quite tired of believing in that (rolling eyes here) and to be honest I don't think he exists. I think maybe Love God thinks I should just shut up and continue this way till I die? Well maybe it's time we sack Love God then cos he's not doing his job well. Probably he's on drugs. Anyways, I'll be honest guys...though I hate V-day's marketing stunts, I still would love to receive flowers/chocs from a guy who truly loves me for who I am on any day. Problem is, there's no such guy. HAHA? yes haha! Anyways, on V-day I had to go to the shops on my way back home to buy a metal soap rack for my Shower. As I was paying for it, the cute guy at the counter asks me with a smile 'You're not giving this to him tonite are ya?'. I was like 'haha no ways, I wouldnt give this to him on V-Day'. Then I suddeny stopped on my mind tracks and thought to myself, 'btw Keshi WHO did you mean by 'him'?'. I lied to that check-out guy pretending that I had a man when I was really single. Now why did I do that?? Maybe I was a bit embarassed to say Im single and dateless on V-day, or maybe it was cos I just didn't think clearly before I answered him. Or was it my subconscious talking? Anyways, I then asked him what his plans were for that night, and he said that he's sitting at home too, doing nothing. Ok then I aint the only single person on Earth..I do have a check-out guy to share my doomed fate don't I, thanks alot for that Love God, duhhh!

When I went home, I had a single red rose, a heart-shaped chocolate and a cute Valentine ornament on my bed. Well I knew who it was from. My mum ofcourse LOL! Isn't she cute. She has been the never-changing 'Valentina' all my life..yes that's right. She loves me dearly and oh so unconditionally. So Shitrint sweetie it wasn't from a man and Aditi your guess was spot on :). I also received alot of txts/emails from cousins and friends. Rohit (4u2nvau) my dearest mate from Melbourne, sent me a txt rose and I think that was really sweet of him - his was the very first rose I got and I was thrilled to bits. My fav cousin sis asked me if I could be her Valentine..and I said 'no probs cos Im eternally single u know' hehe. And then all of you lovely friends here showered me with your beautiful V-day wishes, so thank you all! Quite surprisingly no guy here (except my sweet girlfriends) asked me if I (a very sweet gal you know) could be their Valentine:*(...I guess alot of the guys here are very shy? Or what am I thinking, they prolly have their Valentines already so who am I ha? Anyways thanks alot for all the wishes, kisses and hugs MWAHHHHHHHZZ guys!

This morning as I was waiting for the train, a bunch of teenage school girls came upto me and asked if I was some actress (couldn't catch the name properly) from this Aussie TV series. I was like WUT, no sweeties LOL! And then they giggled and went away (this photo was taken this morning by Mr.Nokia ofcourse). I wanted to catch that name cos I wanted to know if the actress they were talking about was HOT hehe. Btw on V-day I was smothered by so many roses on the train on my way back home. But it was nice to see various flowers, colors and boquets bought by so many people for their loved-ones. Simply beautiful! And I thought to myself...what a wonderful thing Love is. It makes us do the most beautiful things. I bought my mum and sis chocs as usual and my sis got us all chocs too. Well though I miss romantic love in my life, I'm blessed with various other kinds of Love and I'm thankful for that. Anyways could you help me fire Love God?

I wanna know what LOVE is... I believe in pure love cos I have it with me. And the Love I have given so far seems to be the only genuine love I know man could ever give that kind of Love back to me. Why? Does Love require so much effort? Isn't Love a natural feeling? Is it so hard to Love unconditionally? Yes I wanna know.

Current Music: I Wanna Know What Love Is by Tina Arena

Wednesday, February 14

That Thing Called LUUURVE

With the dawn of Valentines Day, must I tell you how irritated I am. Not cos I'm single and I most probably won't be getting flowers/chocs or those claustrophobic teddy-bears. What I'm irritated about is that Vals Day has become such a big marketing drama and it's all about products and nothing else. Do you need a day to celebrate/declare your love to someone? It's plain stupid. On this day, lovers around the world spend alot of money trying to woo their partners, some hoping for a quick fix to their failing r'ships and some others buying meaningless shit as a token of love. LOVE cannot be sold or bought, LOVE isn't a tangible asset. I mean, if you can be a faithful, loving and caring partner all year long, then that's all that really matters. Maybe for some people, sending chocs/flowers on Vals Day is much easier than that.

Well anyways, here's what I read on the papers the other day. That on Vals Day here in Aus, alot of people send horrible messages/gifts to their ex-partners,
cos Vals Day also means Payback Time. LOL isnt that cool? Cos that's my kind of sadistic Vals Day hehe. Apparently some people send a smelly dead fish to their EXs while some others send a gift box with a note saying 'Words fail me'...and when you open the box, it's got an illustration of the middle finger up. Haha words seemed to have failed indeed! Then there are some others who send funeral wreaths to their EXs...and some apparently send Deepest Condolences messages. One person sent a card saying 'You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment'. So there are florists/websites that actually provide such services on Vals Day. Some web-sites also offer to send black roses, just the stems of roses or funeral wreaths. Love experts say that it's a way of dealing with recent and/or bad break-ups and believe it or not, apparently doing that CAN be therapeutic. While I think that it's mean and I won't do that kind of thing to any of my EXs (Bev I'm tempted to send that dead-body-in-sunnies pic to Mr.Darcy but I won't), I think it's seriously funny and I'd just like to enjoy the humorous side of it. So here are some sadistic Vals Day gifts that Keshi could come up with for our beloved EXs.

**Send a card saying 'Won't you be my Valentine'...and when he/she opens it, it reads 'but the chances you stand are pretty low cos my brain isn't mutilated'

**Send a beautiful pic of you two during happier times with a note saying 'btw I was sleeping with Rob at the same time'.

**Send a funeral wreath with the message:
Born: 23-06-1980 (his DOB)
Lost his/her marbles: Permanently

**Send a lovely box of chocs when opened reads 'RIP' all over.

**Send a big cosy teddy-bear that when pressed in the tummy makes horrible belching noises and laughs like Dracula on deathrow (ok I know Dracula can't be on deathrow..rolling eyes!).

**Send a card with a pic of a hot man/woman at the fro
nt saying 'baby you got it all' and when opened says ',you got it all wrong'.

**Send an Oxygen cylinder with a note which reads '
You may need this 6 feet under'.

**Send a long love letter saying all the lovey-dovey stuff and then signing off with 'And now that you're gone I don't have to put up with your reeking body-odor that always reminded me of my last trip to the zoo'.

**Send Mortein-sprayed black paper roses.

**Send a fake Police notice reading 'You're under arrest for being you - a Romance criminal'.

**Send a bottle of perfume reading 'Flammable when sprayed'

**Send a heart-shaped card that reads 'Your heart is as small as your certain body parts are'.

**Send a card with a pic of Cupid reading 'I was under the influence of alcohol when I shot the arrows at you and now Jenny put me in prison cos of that - get me out plz!'.

**Send a card with a pic of Cupid crying in a corner with the message 'I have never been so wrong in my Love career baaawaaaaaaaa!'.

**Send 'A book of Love' when opened shows gory pictures from the movie 'Fatal Attraction'.

**Send a card that says 'Stuck on you' and when opened says 'like how a fly would be stuck on crap - glad I shed my fly-life'.

**Send a bullet-proof vest with a note saying 'To be worn only when you walk out the door lovey'.

**Send a Massage gift voucher that reads ' Massage parlour address: City Morgue'.

**Give him/her a call and say 'Happy Valentines Day to you! As a Valentines Day gift for you one of your exs just let us know that she/he is suffering from a certain rare contagious disease that you didn't know of when you 2 dated. So we want you to be tested immediately. Is that a good Vals Day gift btw?'.

**Send a note saying 'Roses are red, Violets are blue, If I were a paper-shredder, I'd choose you'.

Now please make up your own sadistic lines and share with me. And by all means enjoy Vals Day the way you like it folks :). Remember true Love cannot be demonstrated through an off-the-shelf product. It can only be made to feel. Have a great day with your loved-ones! btw I'm kissing all the boys today, who's first?...MWAHHHHH!

Current Music: Somethin' Stupid by Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman

Monday, February 12

Blah Days

So much Love from all over the world! That last post made me realise that there are so many people who truly CARE. Thank you so much guys, I felt like my dad packed me an aeroplane full of angels and sent them down to Earth to keep me company :). You guys are just amazing! The energy that all your beautiful messages conveyed to me made me realise how blessed I am to have you all by my side. I can live with nothing now cos I have you, and that's all that matters. I love you guys!

My weekend wasn't all that bad. Sunday as planned was spent at a quiet Buddhist temple lighting lamps, offering flowers and thinking of dad. Then we met up with some friends and had lunch at their place. It was a peaceful Sunday. I had all of you in my prayers and thoughts. One other thing happened last week which I nearly forgot to tell ya. As I was walking down the street after work, guess who was driving down that same street? Mr.Darcy.
O well I'm not telling you that I'm missing him, but he did see me, and guess what I did? I pretended like I didn't see him and kept on walking elegantly (hoping and praying that I wouldnt trip and fall like an idiot) past his car wanting to make him feel like he missed out on a great deal LOL! Well I could sense him getting uncomfy in his seat hehe. Anyways that was it. I didn't have time to think about him when I went home, cos I was too busy talking to mum about him, telling him about what happened etc haha! Yeah that's me. btw mum had met Mr.Darcy's mum down the street last Friday and apparently she was invited to a family prayer ceremony at their house on Sat! Now none of us have ever been to their house before (even though I've known Mr.Darcy's mum for a very long time). So I told mum that it's totally upto her. I don't control my mum's social life. She can do whatever she wants to and after all, Mr.Darcy's mum is not a bad lady. She's really a wonderful woman. But my mum couldn't go as planned on Sat cos we had visitors over. In a way I'm glad about it. Cos I don't want Mr.Darcy to think that I'm still interested in keeping ties with him. Even though his mum invited my mum over, who knows what the rest of the family would think. And seriously I'd be better off with a suga-daddy!

O those friendship maths! I have (must be 'had' by now) a good friend. She and I have known each other for like 8yrs now. Well we sometimes meet up for dinner after work...perhaps once/twice a month. So as usual we planned to meet for dinner 2 weeks ago (at the time I was moving house). But I couldn't meet her as planned cos that night I had go go back home straight after work for an urgent matter, so I had to cancel dinner plans that morning (that was also the first Monday after Mr.Darcy and I ended it and I was feeling quite sucky). So I told her that on Mon morning that I won't be able to make it that night and I also told her about my crappy weekend with Mr.Darcy etc. She was so upset that I wasn't gonna meet up that night, and she just spat the dummy on me. Not even a single word was asked about how I was feeling about Mr.Darcy's crap etc or how my move was going. She just emailed me straight after that saying that she's really mad with me cos this was the 2nd time I cancelled dinner plans (yeah that's right...cos I had to cancel it one more time earlier cos I was flying out the next day for that wedding in NZ and I got very busy). Anyways I always give enough time for my friends when I cancel plans - it's not like I don't call at all/not turn up/make people wait for hours for me. While I agree I was slack and I was wrong, should it make a good friendship of 8yrs end forever? Cos she's not answering my calls/emails/txts at all for 2 whole weeks now and it's really not like her. Just what's with that? People have left me waiting for them for hours, some didn't even turn up as planned but I have still forgiven them (after being pissed off for few days ofcourse) and moved on. I was wrong here, I agree - I was wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong (gasping for breath now) but that doesn't mean I have to be crucified/jailed for it does it? Shit happens. I was sorry, I did say sorry to her, I had my very valid reasons for cancelling it, I told her early enough, she heard it, she lost it with me, she doesn't wanna talk anymore, she is being quite arrogant, well THAT'S FINE with me cos I'm quite used to that kinda crap from so-called 'friends' - friends who can't seem to think beyond themselves. And one more thing...she can go to hell.

Current Music: Lying Eyes by The Eagles

Friday, February 9

When The Clock Strikes 6

February 11th is the day my dad died. He was only 44 when he left this world. I don't look forward to this weekend cos it hurts to think that he's no more. Even though it's been a long time now, it seems like just yesterday that he hugged me and my sis. He used to do that all the time. He used to sit between both of us and just squeeze us with his big arms saying 'I love you two very much'. I was a little girl then. Now that I'm all grown up and standing on my own two feet, I haven't got my dad by my side. That's not such a great feeling btw. Cos of that, I don't feel so happy about my so-called great achievements. Cos he used to be at my every Prize-Giving in school. He was the only one who was truly proud of my many achievements back in school. Now he doesn't even know what kind of work I do, how I look now, what kind of girl I have turned out to be, my heartbreaks, what my car is like, my blog and all of you lovely friends that I have made. What would he have thought then? Would he be watching me when I sit on my couch and think of him, eat my brekky, go for long walks, hug my mum, get angry and cry...would he be watching? I dunno. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't.

He died on a Saturday morning at around 6am. He was not sick at all. He was a strong young man with alot to do in life. That night he slept in my room - it was wierd why he chose my room that night. I remember I was sleeping next to him on the other bed. Mum and sis slept in the other room. We talked for a while before falling asleep. At around 6am, mum came to wake him up. He wouldn't say a word or shake an arm. I remember I was staring at mum waiting for him to respond. He was facing the wall, fast asleep - it seemed like that. Little did I know he was gone far away from me by then. Mum knew in few mins that he was gone. She screamed and collapsed. I didn't know what was going on...I was only 15. I couldn't imagine that my dad, the very good-looking, tall, strong, young man was dead. I really couldn't believe it cos I thought he was going to live forever...atleast till I was old and he was very old. That's what dads are supposed to be like. Suddenly alot of people started to come over to my place, and an ambulance was called in. They took my dad with them. I remember how they carried him off the bed and put him on stretches. It was not a scene I can take my mind off cos he was never like that before. I was hoping he would return well and alive. I remember hoping so hard for that. Instead he came back in a coffin. That was the day I changed forever. I remember how our lives changed vastly from that day onwards. I remember so well. It was wierd having to start life all over again without him at home. It was the most traumatic experience in my life which has left a pain that will never cease to exist.

Dad I miss you like you'd never know. Goodbye for now, but I hope we'd meet again someday somewhere and get to be together for a very long time. Do you know I think of you all the time? When I drive, I think of how you used to drive me around. You'd be thrilled to see me driving these days and sharing a bit of the road-rage you used to have. I remember how you took great care of all the dogs we had. Do you know I don't have any pets now? It's wierd, yeah I know. Anyways it's not easy living without you. Would you have thought that you'd leave us just like that? I know you'd never have wanted to. Sometimes I wonder if you can see me, cos I feel your spirit around me...sometimes I do. Is that really you? I wish I could touch your face and hold your hand...I wish I could tell you how much I love you, just like you used to tell us. You may be gone but your Love remains right here dad...and it keeps me alive. Your Love is the reason why I'm alive.

Guys this is not a post to get sympathy/attention. This came truly from my heart and I just want it to be a tribute to my dad. It's amazing how the pain is still very raw. You'll never know how much you need/love someone till they're gone. People are irreplaceable so please cherish them and let them know that you care for them, while they're alive. For it's no point saying it after they are gone. Who's gonna listen and who's gonna respond?

On Sunday we will be going to a Buddhist temple to offer prayers in memory of my loving dad. I will be shedding alot of tears but that's nothing new. The day he died a part of me died too.
Sorry to make you all sad and thanks all for listening. I hope you will have a good weekend, Take Care folks!

Current Music: The Reason by Hoobastank

Wednesday, February 7

A Revealing Weekend

Many of you wanted to know how my Move to the new house went. Well it was quite moving hehe. Hey Bev copying your clever lines here girlfriend ;-). The new place is alot more spacious and more homely for some reason. I like it. And guess what - I fall asleep easily in my new room. Nothing fancy about it but there's something in that house that makes me sleep like a log (knowing what a hyper-active hopeless insomniac I am, I feel good after a long time). Although the Move was stressful, it was a great opportunity to get rid of old/unwanted stuff and start afresh. It was also a great opportunity to keep aside some clothes for the Salvos. Now AB knows about my drama-queenish life cos of the huge number of jeans/tops/shoes that I own. While alot of kids are starving in Africa, I own a big closet full of clothes and shoes - I know Im guilty as hell, stop looking at me that way. I haven't attained Nirvana as yet alright. But the Move and AB's recent 'Jeans' post got me thinking real deep. This time around I put aside 2 big bags full of 'good' clothes - no they are not old or damaged, they are pretty good and I have only worn them like 2 or three times. I just thought I'd learn to let go of few of my fav things in life, and donate them to someone who probably never had a pair of jeans/top like the ones I own. So yeah, there are 2 huge bags waiting to be dropped at the Salvos. I feel great letting go, really. What have you let go of lately?

Another revelation happened over the weekend when I visited an old uncle of mine at a Nursing home((where very old people live). He was put in there cos he had a fall and broke his hip, and he now has to fully recover before going home. So on Friday night I drove there and it was my first visit to an Aged/Nursing home . I have been to a Hospice before on a charity mission, but never been to an Nursing home. Well guys it was one hell of an experience! The moment I walked in I was in tears, yes tears. Every room I passed by had some very old person (probably nearly 100yrs old) living in isolation, the TVs on but heads down in deep slumber, some staring at the walls with sad droopy eyes. Some had old photographs on their bed-side tables, some had their many medals on display. It was quite profound, what it all said to me. Some of the oldies were there for recovery and some were there permanently cos they had no one to lookafter them at home. It was heart-warming and quite sad at the same time. These are the senior-most citizens of the society - they are humans who were once young, just like us, and have now become physically incapable. We all have the same fate, none of us can escape this fate no matter what. It broke my heart to realise how short youth is. I mean I knew that before but as I walked among hundreds of very old people in that Nursing home, they were a living example of how fragile humans become with age. I thought of Cazzie then. Cos she works for a Nursing home in Melbourne. Now I understand why she's so full of love and compassion. I went and said Hello to an old man who looked like he needed some company. He said 'G'day Mate!' as I passed him so I stopped and talked to him, asked him how he was and what he's upto. He was very happy to talk to me, said that he was there permanently and that he's bed-ridden. He looked like he missed his family/past very much. I just want one thing guys - to die before I couldn't walk/sit up by myself. I don't wanna live like that, stuck in a Nursing home, not being able to do anything by myself, having strangers to bring my food, lift me up, take me to the toilet etc. I'm sorry guys but I don't wanna live that long. The mockery of this human life is truly shocking. At one stage of our lives we feel we can do anything...only to realise that with age we become totally helpless creatures. btw I'd be a very stubborn and cranky oldy who wouldn't even know how to knit. And I'd still want my Queen, Dire Straits, Nirvana and Guns N Roses CDs around. And hell yeah I'd still blog from my wheelchair. But I wouldn't know how to wear my sexy clothes and not look ridiculous :(. What kind of oldy would you be?

And on Saturday night I was invited to a BBQ at a friend's place. He and his wife built a beautiful mansion recenlty, so they invited few of their friends for a swim and then a BBQ dinner at their new home. So we all went there and as my sis drove us that night, I could have alcohol without worrying about having to drive back etc. If I drive to a party, I make sure that I don't drink at all - not even a glass of wine. I'm too responsible, that's me...I'm a law-abiding citizen guys hehe. So cos it was my sis who drove that night, I had 2 glasses of Chardonnay and later on a glass or 2 of Baileys. Another friend of our's (call him J) who drove his own car to the party that night was totally stoned after dinner. I mean how irresponsible is that? You don't drive and then get trashed, knowing that you have to drive back home that night?? It's putting himself and others at risk. Anyways, not my problem. But nah wait a minute, it did become my problem! How? Cos when we were getting ready to go home, the guy who invited us to the party asked me for a little favor. What was the favor? Well he asked if I could drive J's car back home as he was drunk 'over' the limit and I was 'under' the limit. EXCUSE ME, who asked J to drink like that??? And how do they know if my blood alcohol level was under/over? Whether it was under/over the limit, what if I get stopped by cops? Would it be any better than J getting stopped? I was under the influence of alcohol too and hell nah I don't wanna lose my license/get fined/get demerit points/get my ass into Prison to save J's ass. Now who would do that? Only an idiot. I said 'NO, I'm really sorry I can't do that kind of favor'. Did anyone think about me getting into trouble with the cops? No one uttered a word then, except J. He goes 'Well if you can't help me, that's fine' with a disappointed look. HUH! How can you call 'driving under the influence of alcohol to save my heavily-drunk friend's ass' a Help? Actually I'm helping everyone by saying NO to it. Cos I won't drive when I've had alcohol no matter how small/big the amount may be, cos that's just my policy. We both had drinks and we both should not be driving that night, full stop. While J is a nice guy and have been a great friend of mine, I'm sorry I don't do illegal favors, not even to friends. Woud you have done it?

Revelations and revelations and revelations. I'm liking it phewww!!

Current Music: I Want To Break Free by Queen

Monday, February 5

D' Ya Think I'm Sexaaay?

Yeah it's him asking you. What do you think ha? Sexy or should it be fatal? Anyways call me mental, I laugh alot. I like to laugh and I see the funny side of even the most traumatic situations (like the Trauma that is in this first pic). Seriously why would anyone wanna put themselves through that? Anyways when I laugh I feel great and relaxed. When I laugh I forget my blues and I feel the world is a wonderful place even if it still has alot of super idiots. I laugh at those idiots too cos cmon they are laughable LOL! Anyways, just yesterday I was laughing like a maniac at some silly joke someone said and then I realised I ran out of breath. So I was trying hard to stop laughing but my body wouldn't let me stop it. For a moment I thought I was going to die laughing and that that 'Laughter is the best medicine' quote was wrong and it should be re-phrased to 'Laughter is the easiest method of suicide' (yeah I was thinkling of all that while nearly seeing the 'other' side). But nah I came back to life cos I could eventually gather myself and stop laughing somehow hehe.

So what are few things that make me laugh:

**Dead bodies in sunnies. Have you ever seen them? I have. In Bev's blog where she once posted a pic of an old lady who died but had glasses on inside the coffin. LOL I know I shouldn't be laughing cos that was a true story but who could resist rolling on the floor laughing when they see something like that. Why would a dead body need sun-glasses? To sun-bake in 'heavenly' beaches?

Dirty old men paying alot of money to get married to younger women (trophy wives) and then dying in these women's arms, perhaps after just 3months of marriage - having written off everything to their sweet hearts, who will then use it to their hearts delight - with so many younger men ofocurse! What a joke you mental sex-crazy senior citizens! If all you need is a pair of boobs to hang on to, get blow-up ones and save your money for your families or give it to the state for some real need.

**People who are nowhere close to sexy even when compared to Abu Bakar Basheer, but try hard to be. Like the pic of Steve in that blinding Spidey suit that Tasha had on her blog. OMG he looked revolting, somewhat like Spiderman-gone-mental. After seeing that pic I was laughing for like 3hrs! Seriously I can recall that pic anytime to make me feel better, even if Im in the middle of a nasty accident that cripples me for life. Go to Tasha's blog if you wanna see his pic but be prepared to go to rehab after that. Steve's pic will get me through toughest times for sure.

**Suicide terrorists. They make me laugh cos they strap bombs around them to kill people but they wouldn't even be around to see what happens. They just die and then what? What if he was the only one who died? What a grand idiot. I reckon such people haven't met their embryonic needs..simple as that.

**Bin-Laden type of mountain dwellers who's missing out on all the fun of city life. I mean who wants to live in creepy dungeons, with long beards, stinky clothes and unclean food/water, when you can have a ball over here. Don't Bin Laden miss Levis jeans, Rock music, Blogging, lamb roast and regular flat-whites? WTH!

**People who blindly follow tradition. Here's an example of such a person. I know a lady who prays everyday...and what does she ask for from God (yes she asks for things from God!). And worse, she asks for MONEY! And if that's not enough, she's a gossip queen and quite a mean one too. I just laugh and laugh and laugh... ... ..LMFAO! I think even God must have been admitted into the hospital Laughing His Divine Ass Off.

**People who ask dorky questions. Such as meeting at the mall and asking 'Are you shopping?'. What esle would you be doing at the mall, cooking lunch? I mean cmon! And there are some others who ask hideous questions such as 'When are you getting married?'. I feel like saying 'I'll be getting married tomorrow but there's one problem...there'll be no groom, just a wedding party for the sake of it and you'll be the pole-dancer and the pole would have full of pointy thorns that when pricked passes poison into your blood stream..would you like to come?'.

**I'm sorry but sometimes I can't stop laughing at certain accents. I know I'm not perfect but then there are some people who just make you laugh cos of the way they pronounce certain English words. Such as 'Ungle' for 'Uncle'. There are also some people who say 'Paarchus' for 'Purchase'. And once this woman said to me that she was 'Bregmant'. And I didn't know WTH she was talking about - I thought that must be where she comes from. Later on when she mentioned about having her first baby, I realised that what she meant was that she's 'Pregnant' - HALLELUJAH! And there was a friend of mine who says 'Oooltra sound' for 'Ultra sound'. LOL Im sorry folks but I can't help laughing at such words. Call me mean but I'm programmed to laugh at funny things. But that doesn't mean I make fun of them. There's a difference.

**People with strange hairstyles. Mann there was this guy on the train the other day, and he had hair like Siberia. It was that big. He looked like he hadn't had a haircut in 90yrs or so, but he looked only about 25yrs old (how could that be). Anyways, that hair sure was going South-West and needed to be chopped off before he couldn't get through his own door.

**Myself. I laugh alot at myself cos I'm laughable, just like anyone else is. I can be pretty stupid at times. Once I was wearing a pair of sexy boots and walking down the street strutting my stuff, feeling glamorous and hot etc etc, and then ***WOOOOSH*** all of a sudden I was on the ground nursing my very bloody knee. I went home looking like a train-wreck. Once I fell off a chair when I didn't have to. I just wanted to see if I could balance my body while lifting the chair off the floor while seated. THUDDDD! I fell down and hurt my back real bad. One bright sunny day I nearly got run over by a truck cos I just thought it would stop for me until I crossed the road, just like that hehe. And just today I hit my colleague's cabin wall only cos I was staring at that Bon-Jovi look alike colleague in our office as I was going to get some coffee. He didn't see me hitting the wall but I felt really stupid and then I laughed and laughed and laughed in the kitchen. Well he's married but hey who said you can't look!

Anyways, I'm as crazy as any person out there is. We are all laughable in our own unique ways and we should all laugh often. Laughter is the best medicine indeed and it's use it to your health's delight.

Ok apart from Keshi's There's-Life-On-Pluto kinda sex life, what else makes you Laugh Your Sexy Ass Off?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST DARLING FRIEND UTTARA! MWAHHHHZ and HUGGGGGGGZ! This post is dedicated to you Uttsy so you can laugh all day today :). And today's music is dedicated especially for ya baby, have a good one and you know I JUST LOVE THE BEAUTIFUL SOUL THAT YOU ARE! You're a rare, extremely beautiful and precious butterfly that makes my life worthwhile. THANK YOU for being you. May all your sweetest dreams and beautiful wishes come true!

Current Music: Can't Get You Outta My Head by Kylie Minogue