The Epilogue

Let the Love we shared here keep us alive...let these days never end, for they reside in our hearts forever and ever. My heart thanks your heart for being here always, right from the beginning to the end of my journey. But nothing lasts forever, except for the heart-prints that we left here. So til we meet again, so long my darling friends! It's been a lovely long walk down the Blogville Lane...a timeless and an ageless walk.


Some say love, it is a river,
That drowns, the tender reed...
Some say love, it is a razor,
that leaves, your soul to bleed...
Some say love, it is a hunger,
An endless aching need...
I say love, it is a flower,
And you it's only seed.

~here lived a girl named Keshi~

Music: Some Say Love by LeAnne Rimes

A New Direction

An Old Road...
I think the following lyrics (of the song My Way), sums up my feelings much better than what I said yesterday. Thanks for all your messages so far, they mean alot to me! But I think it's time for me to pack up my attachment to this place, hit the road and drive down a different route this time...it's about taking risks too. But I don't want to leave in bad spirits (like how I felt yesterday), hence I'd like to thank each and everyone who contributed to my being, by expressing here and in their blogs. I loved being here, learning, growing together, laughing, crying, sharing and feeling so taken care of. But all beginnings have an end too. Maybe I'll come back to post here some day, but I'm really sorry I can't be around Blogville til then. My inner voice right now tells me to leave, hence just like how the seasons don't last forever, I'm bidding goodbye for now. The lyrics below says everything my heart wants to say to you before I leave...

And now, the end is near

And so I face the final curtain

My friends, I'll say it clear,

I'll state my case, of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full

I've travelled each and every highway

And more, much more than this,

I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few

But then again, too few to mention

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course

Each careful step along the by way

But more, much more than this

I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew

When I bit off more than I could chew

But through it all, when there was doubt

I ate it up and spit it out

I faced it all and I stood tall

And did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried

I've had my fill, my share of losing

And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing

To think I did all that

And may I say, not in a shy way,

No, oh no not me, I did it my way

For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught

To say the things he truly feels

And not the words of one who kneels

The record shows I took the blows

And did it my way!


A New Journey...
Taking some time off from Blogging will clear my mind. So I just want to go now...I want some solitude and time away from the madding crowd. My heart has to find a new home for a little while. The show can't go on forever...I did my best and now the curtains shall draw. The ones who truly care, thank you for being the flowers in my every step of the way. You know I love ya. Thank you for always being here when I needed someone to talk to, for trusting me and for accepting me just the way I am. Now kiss me goodbye and send me off with love. Don't worry and don't feel sad...it's a break much needed. Hopefully I'll be back sooner than you imagine. Take care all of ya! *HUGZ*

Current Music: My Way by Elvis Presley

This current song update is my treasured dedication to ALL my friends, both past and present, who have been here decorating my life with love, wisdom and warmth over the years, to this very day. I wish you well in all your future endeavours, I hope life treats you kind and I hope you have all you dreamed of...but above all things, I'm wishing you LOVE. Cos whatever we say or do, whatever we go through, LOVE is the final destination. And I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YA. Stay gold!

Current Music Update: I'll Always Love You by Whitney Houston

I Can't Stop The Rains...

UPDATE: Guys I'm extremely busy at work with meetings, new projects etc. So I won't be able to come around to your blogs until I get some free time. I might pop in to 1 or 2 blogs when I can but I can't do my usual rounds. Til then, enjoy your week ahead!

I'm doing this post for a dear friend of mine. He texted me the following lines and wanted me to do a post on it (he's no longer a blogger but he reads my blog). Maybe he needs to read all your answers to gather some collective hope and wisdom that will help him get through what he's facing right now. So please write whatever you think about this line, from your experiences or knowledge. This is what he wrote:

If only...but then, o well, what's done is done. It has to be paid.


Here's what I have to say about that line. I'm writing an instant poem to get my thoughts across to ya D. I hope you'll understand what I'm saying. My apologies in advance if I hurt your feelings in the slightest way through this verse. HUGS!


I'm standing still
All alone
Hit rock bottom
I thought I died
A million times
I've spent my life
Thinking thoughts
Of what's been done
If only I could
Turn back the clock
I'd have no nights
To kiss my days
In total silence
I hear a sound
In total darkness
I see a light
In the deepest cut
I feel a touch
In the bitter-most path
I find my sweetness

As all my pictures

Fade to black

I cling to my soul

Life, it gives me back



Current Music: Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me by Elton John

Current Music Update: Don't Hold Back by The Potbelleez

A Life Less Ordinary

Life In My Mailbox...

Yes, the moment I have been waiting for weeks, just arrived last night. When I went home after work, I had a special package in my mailbox...love and cuddles in the form of a letter...a heart beating to live...longing to love, learn and grow. It was my first ever sponsored child's documents with his pic, and family details (refer to my last post about him here). As my dear friend SMM asked me to introduce this lil boy to all of you too, I'm doing this post especially for SMM, for darling Margie and for anyone else who's interested. I'd like to call him baby Dee cos his name starts with the letter D (sorry I'm not allowed to display his pic or make his personal details all that public). He lives in a wartorn area in Sri Lanka with his parents, he's 4yrs old and comes from a very poor home, he's the only child in the family so far, he doesn't go to school and his hobby is playing Ball games. When I opened the package up, saw his small face, quizzical eyes, that sweet I-don't-like-being-photographed look, very old shirt and read his details too, I was in tears. Not cos of baby Dee's status, but cos of all the trivial things people give so much importance to in life. Even on the net, people just cannot live and let live. And this was a child from an extremely war-stricken area in SL, and he's only asking for a chance to LIVE. Nothing less nothing more. And what do some so called grown-ups do...constantly bicker, hurt each other, whinge about nothing, engage in power struggles, feel sorry about themselves for the slightest thing and think about themselves only. How very immature, stupid and selfish.


A Long Way From Home...
Man life is simple! It's not demanding...it doesn't ask you for anything. It's just there...it's beautiful...it's pure. Why make it so complicated? Why twist it, turn it, bend it, break it, abandon it? Why are we leaving Life behind when all it wants us to do is embrace it? No it's not even about our many Wants, and no I'm not telling you to feel sorry for this kid or praise me for my deeds again. It's about LIFE...it's about how it's just there and how we don't make the most of it. Like Margie said in her post today, we are blessed with the joys of so many ordinary things. Life is in the ordinary things we come across every single day. And children like baby Dee and these 2 kids in the pics don't even have those ordinary things in their lives, such as fresh clothes, shoes, security, sound health, a comfy bed, education, a clean bathroom, 3 meals a day, Internet, telephones, Maccas, movies, ice cream, parks, toys, birthday parties, hugs and kisses, a glass of milk....guys can you see how far away some of us are from the simple LIFE? (pic: a street child in India living off basically nothing)


Staying In Touch With Life...
We have added so many things on top of life. See how far we have gone from Life...how much we have run away from what LIFE really is. Strip off all your worries...remove all your masks...tear off all your disappointments. Just be for a minute. What do you get now? Life staring back at you, not one inch away from you, not one bit different to you. We don't need much to live...we don't need to run so much or gain so much distance to live. So why have we left Life behind? Where are we going so fast? We are a long way from home. Baby Dee is an example of LIFE in it's purest forms...a life longing to live...a life breathing...a life that don't want anything else but LIFE. (pic: a starving child in Ethiopia finding it unable to cope)

Some Prayers Are Better Unanswered
Did you miss your coffee today? Perhaps something didn't turn out the way you wanted it to? Is the kitchen tap leaking? Those nice shoes arent on sale anymore? Maybe you forgot to buy your shampoo on the way home last night? Or maybe your friend didn't return your call. Perhaps your electricity bill is higher this time or your phone just died. Or you may be cursing God that he didn't answer your prayers? Don't panic...without all of that, Life still breathes. These children do.


Current Music: New Kid In Town by Eagles

Love-Struck On The Way To The Loo!

Welcome to Big blogger Brother Part-1! Remember I have selected 6 housemates to share my house with from few posts down? Suresh, Rakesh, Jay, Amit, Ria, Nita and not forgetting the silent Intruder Soul. Everyone arrived at my place as expected and are doing well so right now...some have even taken over the place with the Sports channel on 24/7, Bonds jocks all over the couch, eating non-stop but not much cleaning happening and just lazying around you see...*Males I mean, ahem!*. Anyways, we are all having a great time so far...an excellent time I must say! And this is the first part of that joint post. Each new housemate was given an individual topic/scenario by me (and none of them knew each others' topics) *given by me ofcourse since I'm the bragging host btw - Big Sister? I think not!* and since some housemates wrote posts that are longer than their stay *no complaints there, I love long posts...you should know it by now!* I decided to do this much awaited joint post in separate parts. So this is part-1 and it has posts from 2 housemates that are totally zombified being in LOVE! Check it out for yourselves how Suresh and Rakesh bear their hearts out in the open!


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Suresh was given the following scenario:
You bring your girlfriend home and want to have a romantic night with her...but with 6 others in the house, there's absolutely no way of doing that. You cant go out either cos it's raining heavily. You check your room and there's Amit and Rakesh snoring on your bed. You check the loo and there's Ria in there. You check the kitchen and there's Nita and Keshi in there! *rolling eyes by now*. So what do you do to make it happen? And the following script explains what Suresh did.


IS RAAT KI SUBAH NAHIN (No Dawn For This Night)
Suresh had been invited as a guest to Keshi's house. He took this opportunity to get close and know Keshi better. But he had never guessed that there would be other guests.... five more. Somehow Hollywood slasher movies came to his mind.... those movies where strangers gather at one place and suddenly one by one they start getting killed.... very brutally.

He diverted his mind and thought of his girlfriend, Simran. Simran wanted to see her at the earliest as her brothers were planning to get her married off to some software guy from across the borders. He told her to meet her at Keshi's place after some days. At that point of time, he didn't know that there would be other guests.

It was raining cats and dogs when Simran landed at Keshi's place. He just couldn't take her to any nice restaurant or have a candlelit dinner under the stars. Somehow he had to manage within the house. But Keshi was an angel... she had given him a room. Suresh and Simran just crashed into that room to find Jay and Amit sleeping together. The Guys woke up. But didn't make any move to vacate the room, "We were watching the ultra modern version of Devdas. Its too good. We got very involved with the characters." Suresh tried to smile, "So which one of you is Devdas?" The Two masculine gents looked at each other, "None! I am Paru and that is Chandramukhi". Without daring to speak a word, Suresh and Simran came out of the room.

Suresh had to go to the loo. The loo is usually the place where brainwaves came to him. But someone seemed to have taken it on rent. Suresh banged the door twice but someone from inside was weeping out loud, "No! I can't. The whole world has gone mad. This is the only place where I can find peace."

Suresh had never entered the kitchen at his home. But now that was the only place where they can take refuge. Even that was preoccupied. Rakesh was cooking something. On enquiry, the chef remarked in the soothing manner, "You know they say a way to woman's heart is through her stomach and a man's heart is through his ears. So I am cooking some delicious Food for dinner so as to get close to Keshi." Suresh tried to correct the other person, "I think Its the other way around, 'a way to a man's heart....." But the other party was not listening.

That's when Simran had a good idea and shared it with Suresh. All Suresh had to do was convince the chef, "U know what they say An apple a day keeps the doctor away.... Guess what is it 's improved version...A garlic a day keeps everyone away." Now that he had captured the chef's attention, "You know garlic is a passion food. You cook garlic and you can win over Keshi. But before that boil it in such a manner that the smell spreads all over the place and remove others so that we can enjoy this romantic night.... what do you say?"

The plan was put to action and the result was as expected. But the landlady Keshi was very angry for the ill-treatment of other guests by the romantic pair and looked at the perpetrators Suresh and Simran. Will she throw them out of her house? Will she excuse them?


VERDICT by the host:
And what do you think Keshi did? Since Garlic is an aphrodisiac (intensifies sexual desire), she got all her housemates to eat what was cooked using Garlic, and they all started doing the Lambada in a Garlic-driven frenzy while Suresh and Simran stood staring shell-shocked at their foiled plan! The love-struck-but-traumatised-by-a-manic-Garlicanised-gang couple immediately left the house, as getting wet in the pouring rain seemed less damaging than witnessing the shameless moves of some overdriven Garlic heads!


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Rakesh was given the following scenario:

You are in love with one of the 3 female flatmates (you choose the girl). Write about the torture you're going through being under the same roof with her, watching her every move etc (not being able to tell her yet). And the following script explains what Rakesh was going through.


I Don't Know What To Do...Cos I'll Never Be With You!

“All right guys, it’s been a long night, we’re hitting the sack” said Keshi and all three of them gathered their pillows and after a round of hugs and good night pecks the girls were off to their bedrooms. I was mesmerized swaying to her movement as she walked away. She looked so good, just like a cow in a barn yard, lazily walking away after having her fill of grass.

Smack, I felt on my head and saw Jay staring at me, “I know what you thinking” he said.

Now, definitely he couldn’t imagine me picturing this wonderful piece of ass as a cow, I smiled to myself “No way CB (Cynical Bastard aka Jay), Not in a thousand years”. I somehow liked his nickname – Cynical Bastard, it gave us all a chance to abuse him without him feeling abused coz. after all, it was the name he’d bestowed upon himself.

I could see Amit and Suresh sitting across on the couch, discussing something earnestly. I was sure, they would be discussing either Hindi movies or finance. Now I’m a huge fan of Hindi movies myself but not when you’re staying with the choicest pretty ladies. And pretty soon, they finish their discussion with a handshake as if saying “No offence buddy but cool discussion” and we say our good nights to them as well.

“Don’t sleep on my side of the room Amit” I shout behind him as they walk away.

Jay again looks at me puzzled “What’s with that side of yours anyway?”

“Nothing CB (somehow, I always emphasize on the B) Just its near the bathroom door so I don’t have to walk a lot at night” How can I tell him that from that bed, I can look out straight at the kitchen door and whenever she comes to the kitchen, I can rush in there with an excuse to bump into her.

He finishes the last of his beer in his can with a huge gulp and I down my corona, my mind dizzy with the thoughts of this girl who’s suddenly gate crashed my heart and has taken complete possession of it. The thoughts of my first meeting with her come back to my mind. Keshi introduced all of us to each other and the moment she spoke, I was hooked. Her voice sounded like one of those divine voices (couldn’t remember where I’ve heard a similar voice, maybe when I called the phone sex number) so throaty and full, absolutely loved it the moment I heard her for the first time.

She said something like “Hi, so YOU are Rakesh” and I mumbled something like “No, I’m FUNNY”. It was a sick joke and I hate myself for saying this the first time we met but that’s the thing, my brain fumbles whenever I see a pretty lady. Maybe, all blood rushes out of my brain and goes somewhere else ;-).

But nevertheless, she laughed a little and said “Yeah, you ARE funny”. I loved the way she used to emphasize these words in between her sentences. Felt like she was wrapping her sentence in sugar candy and hitting me on my head with those handles.

I had visited her blog a few times before we met but her profile didn’t say much except that she’s a multi-faceted personality swaying to the emotions of her inner self. I didn’t really understand what she was trying to say but felt that that message was for me but in a code which my heart would decipher someday. Right now, everything was swaying from her thoughts and the beer that we had.

“You know Rakesh, Beer is Gods way of telling us he loves us and wants us to be happy” Jay said, and he dozed off there on the couch and I went back to my bed and dozed off.


Zzz… What the heck, I’ve even started dreaming about her, I think to myself deep in my sleep. I can hear her voice ringing in my years “Kehne ko jashne bahara hai, Ishq yeh dekh ke hairaan hai… You know Ria, I love this song and once I got a speeding ticket coz. I was listening to this song and didn’t realize the speed limit”

I was deep in my sleep and her voice seemed to vibrate in my ear tunnels and reach my brain. I started dreaming that I’m the officer and I ask her “License and papers maám”. She flashes me this cute big smile, (she really had a big smile, so big that I could enter her mouth and sit in one of the caves between her teeth) and says in her throaty seductive voice “C’mmon officer, I’m getting late for a meeting”. I tell her, “Ok maám, gimme your phone number instead…” Man, I’m wondering, why am I so cheesy even in my dreams? I mean I could’ve jumped into the passenger seat, it was only a dream and my dream, I should decide what happens there…

Neverthless, I hear her voice again “You know Ria, that officer was such an uptight a%#hole. He didn’t even listen to my requests” WHAT? I was shaken awake from my dream? I heard voices of her and Ria giggling in the kitchen. Ohhh man, she was talking to Ria and I was dreaming about what she was saying??? I shook these crazy thoughts out of my mind and got up and walked to the kitchen in the hope that hers is the first face I’ll see today morning. Just when I was about to enter the kitchen with that silly smile on my face, Suresh barges out of the kitchen and bumps into me.

“Suprabhatam. What’s with this smile today morning? Is Prem in love???” He says. This was his thing. He referred to everyone in third person with Prem as their pseudonym even while speaking to them directly. For instance, if he wanted to ask Jay what he was drinking, he’d say to Jay “What is Prem drinking???” and point to his drink while tweaking his eyebrows. We found that amusing but he was such a nice guy at heart.

“Go ask Prem” I grumbled to him and he went away smiling.

I closed my eyes and shook my head to clear Suresh’s picture from my brains in the hope to put her picture on a fresh canvas. I opened my eyes and saw Keshi standing bang in front of me with a puzzled look “Are you sleep walking?”

Forget it, there was no way I could put her on a blank canvas today. So I just entered the kitchen and saw her. There she was stirring that spoon in her coffee mug giggling away over something not very funny while talking to Ria (Ria actually never said anything funny, she always talked about how she spent her weekend; last weekend, we went for a party, this weekend we went for a movie, next weekend, I’m meeting my guy for dinner).

The early morning sunrays entered through the window and seemed to make a beeline for her. She seemed to attract all the sunlight in the room towards herself. The sun’s rays filtered through her hair and fell on the marble floor in artistic patterns. While giggling and sipping her coffee, she caught me staring at her from the corner of her eye.

I looked down immediately feeling guilty just like the time my dad caught me watching porn on the computer. I was in two minds whether to look up or to turn back and head for the bathroom. Suddenly, I had that urge for an early morning piss. But again her voice resonated in my ears “Good morning Laurel, where’s Hardy?” She was referring to Jay obviously. We actually did look like L&H when we stood together but when SHE said it, it seemed like a compliment. It seemed like she’s suggesting, “Come here Laurel, wrap me in your thin bony arms”.

I smiled and walked towards her forgetting the urge for that piss. It had to wait now that sunshine had spoken. I picked up a bottle of water and sat on the stool pretending to drink. The fact was my bladder was already bursting and I couldn’t risk putting any more water in it.

Me: “Good morning Nita, Hardy is still sleeping.”

Nita: “Oh good I met you, I wanted to talk to you about something really important.”

Me: “Me and Important don’t really go together, don’t you know?”

Nita: “Oh ya right, but I think you’re the only one who can help me.”

Me: “Sure, anything princess, just name it” I turned on my charming button. By now, I wasn’t aware if there was anyone else in the kitchen and even she didn’t seem to care.

She smiled “Princess, Ahan? See, that’s why I wanted to talk to YOU. Umm… I wanted to ask you… err… how do I?”

Me: “Oh C’mmon, Nita and shy? Don’t tell me.”

Nita: “Not shy silly, just feeling awkward. Can’t think of anything…”

She thought some more “Umm... Ok, YOU tell me, what would you say to someone if you really love her like crazy?”

It seemed like I’d waited for these words all my life. It seemed like everything was falling in place now but I had to pretend and appear cool. I couldn’t fold up and collapse in front of her just listening to her professing her love for me. So I played along.

Me: “What would I say? Hmm… can’t think of anything good right now, coz. you know I’ll have to give it a lot of thought” And the truth was at that time, my brain was buzzing with her sentence “LOVE HER LIKE CRAZY… LOVE HER… LOVE… LOVE”. I couldn’t sit straight, forget about thinking.

Me: “But why are you asking?” I asked, hoping to hear the most cherished words every guy dreams.

Nita stopped sipping the coffee, looked up into my eyes and smiled, my heart stopped and she said “It’s Valentines day right?”

Me: “Yeah…”

Nita: “So I’ve to call my husband… and”

I didn’t hear a word after that, I think I have to go and piss after all…

VERDICT by the host:
awwww if only all men on Earth were as genuine and sweet as Rakesh is, I would be married by now with 5 kids, doing the dishes, washing clothes, working around the clock, cleaning the house 24/7, putting up with a Footy-obsessed husband that leaves empty beer bottles and wet towels on the floor etc. ehhh, maybe I'm better off with my binoculars and drooling on Rakesh as he drives to work every day, what say girls? I mean look at him! *ahem I think he's gonna be a long-term housemate of mine cos ya know I'm a very compassionate soul haha!* Ok I have to go to the loo now excuse me excuse...duh someone's hogging it for the past 3 hours! *rolling eyes*

THANKS a bunch Suresh and Rakesh for your brilliant imagination, warm company, precious time and very sweet gestures! You guys simply rock! I love having you here and it's a pleasure to have done a joint post with you. *hot smackers to ya from Keshaayyyy!* ;-) And don't go anywhere yet...cos you're still living with me and the rest, until all the others post their posts too. :)

Now all of you stay tuned for the other 4 hot housemates' and the silent Intruder's sizzling posts that will come later on!


Current Music: You're Beautiful by James Blunt

My very public Private Universe

All Shades Under The Sun...

Everyone is on the Internet! EVERYONE. What does that term mean? People from all walks of life, various lands and cultures, different personalities, diverse backgrounds and experiences, with varying interests, with complimenting/conflicting ideas and opinions and a vast span of beliefs and individualities. Now where and how do you fit in this crowd? The truth is, you and the others on the net have only one common quality…and that is, you and they chose to be on the Internet – nothing less nothing more. Everything else about you and them are different. Well there may be some similarities too but no 2 people are the same...if you take 2 people on the net, their ethnicity, age, hair color, personality, education, skills, beliefs etc etc will never be the same. Yes we are all human but boy o boy we all have our story to tell, and no 2 stories are ever the same! So what does this mean? On your good days, you will find few people agreeing with you, making you feel understood and validating your thoughts as the ultimate truth. And voila you feel awesome! But on your bad days, you’ll have some people disagreeing with you, making you feel like a misfit and some even abusing you for being who you are. And then you feel really irritated. Don't pack up and leave, cos you are what you are and they are what they are.


Colors Seen By Candlelight...
It’s natural to feel great when people agree with you and feel a little sad when they don’t. But can EVERYONE on Earth understand you? Also, can you understand EVERYONE else on Earth? It’s not something possible to do by any human being. No one can get in the shoes of another 100%. There will always be someone who doesn’t understand you or who’s gonna make you feel silly for what you believe. But should it affect you? I think not. I’m sure there are people on the net that baffles you too…that make you wonder what on Earth they had for brekky to behave like that! Yes total comprehension of the psychology of another human on the net is a far cry, when you can’t even fully understand the people you live with for years and years. So don’t try to do it…don’t try to read EVERYONE’s mind on the net, neither should you try to tell EVERYONE on the net that your thoughts and beliefs are the purest. It’ll only drain you. Different people come on the net for different reasons….some may be here to get the attention they never get in their real lives…some may be on the net to recover from whatever they have gone/are going through in their lives…some may be on the net to seek the love they never get in real…some may be here just for the heck of it, to kill time…some may be here to express, learn, share and connect with others…some others may be here to control total strangers cos they don’t get to control people in their own lives. We all have different reasons why we chose to be on the net, and there’s no way that we’ll ever know the real lives of our friends and foes on the net. Cos on the net, we get to see only a small fraction of people’s personalities. And that means some of the people you may be associating on the net could be mentally ill, suicidal or even serial offenders. It doesn’t have to freak you out but I said that only for you to realise how vast a place the net is. What you see is not what you always get.


A Private Universe...
So, the way we think of ourselves, our needs and desired outcomes vis-à-vis those of others on the net are like train-tracks…cos they never meet. Sometimes you try to do your best by EVERYONE on the net but there’s always SOMEONE who’d diss you for no reason or for no fault of your’s…who’ll ridicule you even after you were nice to them. What do you do then? If I were you I’d ignore them...cos they don’t deserve my time or my energy. I come on the net to express, learn, share and connect. And even though some may think that people on the net don’t deserve to be respected or treated nicely, please know that people on the net are not robots…that they too have a heart and blood flowing through their veins. My blog is my online home. This is the place where my heart and soul lives. My blog is a snapshot of the life of my heart...a written journey of my heart...my own private universe in a very public domain. I have a lot of respect and love for it, and I give that kind of respect to other blogs too. And when someone asks me to get out of their blog for no fault of mine, I’d like to take it as either this person is going through a personal dilemma that I’m not aware of, or this person totally lacks respect for others. Such arrogance and disrespect I detest and I refuse to be the target of. My policy in life is (net or not), if someone doesn’t respect me, I don’t step into their territory again...if someone doesn't want me in their lives, I leave them for good. I’m not affected by them, neither am I confused by their behaviour. I’m no shrink but I can understand that no 2 people are ever the same, and that some people are simply different. I'm not here for scores of comments (though I get them), I'm not here to win a competition in writing, I'm not here to show off my skills or qualifications, I'm not here to hurt or boss people around, I'm not here to sell anything, and I'm not here to be the target of anyone's sheer ignorance either. I'm here cos I am.

Take Only What You Deserve...

Now, a true story for all: Lord Buddha once went to a house where he was so respectfully invited for lunch...and as he was eating his lunch with fellow monks, the host suddenly started abusing Lord Buddha using utter profanity, and for no reason at all. Lord Buddha did not panic, neither did he retaliate in anger and disappointment...but he continued having his lunch in silence and with the same peace of mind that he entered the house. The host was very angry that the Buddha didn't react...so he came upto him and asked 'how come, after all this abuse, you're still having your lunch without saying a single word to me?'...and the Buddha replied 'you invited me to have lunch here...which I graciously accepted and enjoyed having at your home...but I can't accept your abuse cos that's not what I came here for'. And he thanked the host and left with his monks in sheer grace and beauty. Later on, the host ordained himself at the feet of the Lord Buddha.


Likewise I'd like to say this to people on the net. I’m not here to please EVERYONE, neither do I expect EVERYONE else to please me. Cos I’m not EVERYONE, and EVERYONE is not me. I'd whole-heartedly accept your invitation for me to be at your online home, but I simply reject your abuse. And even if you abuse me and chase me out of your home, my being stays the same...resilient under all weathers and words. I'm content and my heart shall continue living here and writing her story.


Tell me, why are you on the net and what does your blog mean to you?


Current music: Private Universe by Crowded House

Alone But Wonderful Tonight...

It's Valentines Day...lovers are getting comfy and cosy in each others' arms, love is being celebrated in many many ways and here I am blogging in my room on a cold gloomy Summer's night. I'm not complaining, I'm very happy with my single status. Infact Valentines Day makes me wanna puke haha! Not cos I'm jealous of all those who are in love but cos I think everyday should be like Valentines Day. We do have ups and downs, and we do have fights with loved-ones every now and then...and that's ok. But to give out wishes, pressies, cards on V-day only, and not really mean that LOVE is such a waste of money, effort and time. I'm a lover of Love, and that's why I hate to see that Love being abused or misused just for commercial gains or for superficial needs. But who am I to say anything cos this world works like that, whether I like it or not right?


Having said that, my day didn't start with Love anyways...it started quite the opposite way...and I ended up crying after a very long time *no sympathy needed plz*. And I thought to myself why does this always happen to me...I'm nice to people, I go out of my way to make others happy, I give my time and whatever I have to make others feel safe and happy...but I become the target of some people's wrath and frustrations. And no one is by my side usually and no one ever understands me so no point trying to explain anyways...cos no one wants to listen to what I have to say except tell their own stories. Why do some people treat me like I'm nothing? Is it because I'm nothing? But maybe that's what my life is about...maybe that's why I'm so strong amidst all my tears...maybe that's why I'm as hard as a rock though I'm as soft as a rose petal deep inside. After a loveless start to the day, I received few lovely txt msgs and emails from some very dear friends in and out of Blogville, and I finally felt loved and appreciated. Yes, someone thinks of me somehow...and that's enough for me to be content and keep going. Thanks Raj, Trinaa, Margie, Arv, Soul and some mates of mine from Sydney for putting a smile on my face today! *HUGZ*


So yes, I'm spending another V-day in my life all alone, yet content, listening to this song and thinking about the one man who loved me genuinely...it's been awhile since I last spoke to him or saw him...but I feel his LOVE even this very minute as I type this post.


V-day is a drag for someone like me. I have seen people who hate each other give each other gifts just for the heck of it on V-day. Now is that of any use? Presents without a PRESENCE is of no use to anyone. That's like being present in someone's life without a presence...I have so many people like that in my life too. If you really wanna give me something, let your heart tell me stories...let your heart deliver your actions...not your words. I don't want your wishes or your fancy chocolates...I don't want your money or your sweet sweet calls, or your empty hugs. Just let me feel your PRESENCE...and then I shall know you truly LOVED me...just the way how I feel his PRESENCE even today...and that man is none other than my dad. Yes dad, it's wonderful tonight...cos I feel your LOVE. I miss ya and I love you too. I'm thinking of you tonight, and I'm hoping you'll be reading this somehow from wherever you are...don't forget to wink at me with all your mates up there. I wonder how many fans you have in your new home...cos I know so many people loved you over here. *MWAH* This one's for you dad, cos tonight I'm alone but it's wonderful tonight...all because of your love.

Current Music: Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton

Sharing My Fridge, Hair & $10!

Expand Your Lives!

This time I have 6 new flatmates yeyy yeyy yeyy! Since it was too hard to choose 1 winner from all those amazing answers (each and everyone on of you gave such smart and heartfelt reasons for choosing your flower pics, thanks!), I did 'ini mini miny moe' on all the names of people who gave me answers in that post and selected 6 random winners. And they are..drum roll please...Jay, Ria, Rakesh, Amit, Suresh and Random_Ramblings! WOW I'm gonna be having 6 new fantastic, fresh, smart, sensible, witty and gorgeous flatmates in my house very soon, I just can't wait! Now don't be disheartened the rest of you..you'll have a chance next time ok (and after all, this is just a game so let's just have fun without getting icky about not been chosen etc). Now the 6 of you will get an email from me soon regarding our joint post and all you've got to do is write a small post for me on the topic given. Kapish? Beautiful! But this time, there's an Intruder too! And that person is selected by me purely for the reason that he/she didn't take part in my Flower post at all...lol payback time! And the honors go to Talking_To_My_Soul! Yes, you are the Intruder in our shared accommodation this time! I'll email you soon about what you have to do ok Soul? So, myself and the Intruder included, there's gonna be 8 bodies in my house for a while! So stay tuned everyone for that sizzling joint post that's coming up soon! ;-) Thanks all for being a sport and giving it a shot, you all rock!

Locks Of Love...
Now, my friend Anuz wanted to see before and after pics of my hair revolution. So here they are Anuz, especially for you! See how long my hair was, and see how short it is now. My hair was actually longer than this, cos this long-hair pic was taken last May! Yes it was hard to say Goodbye to it but I just had to find innovative ways to learn to Let Go, and I did :). Some people may say for goddsake its just hair Keshi, but we all have an emotional attachment to the way we look and to our identities. So yeah, I can honestly say it was hard to say Goodbye to my long hair but I thought about all those women and kids without any hair at all (be it from Chemo or illnessses). And where I cut my hair, they take long hairs and donate to wig-making. What a wonderful way to GIVE love.



I'm Gonna Be A Mum!
No I'm not pregnant, neither am I planning for it hehe. There's this dream of mine that I wanted to come true for ages and didn't really find time to see it shaping into reality...and now the time has come for me to make it real. I'm gonna be adopting a little 4yr old boy all the way in Sri Lanka, yes! (sorry I cannot give too many personal details about him or show you his pic due to privacy reasons). This little angel has stolen my heart completely, for even after I looked at his sad big eyes on a certain site's database and switched off my PC, he still hasn't left my heart. 2 weeks ago I saw his photo for the first time and the moment I set my eyes on him, I wanted to give him a life, a childhood, a reason to smile that he probably never experienced before. The website stated his hobbies as 'playing with my toys' and instantly hot tears welled up in my eyes. He's from a very poor and war-stricken family that often go to bed hungry, and the money that I donate to him every month is apparently more than enough for him and his whole family to survive. Yes, we are so much more luckier than many people out there. Have you ever given it a thought? I hope so. I'm not rich neither am I free of worries or troubles (I have plenty though I don't mention them here, and yes I sleep on a bed of thorns), but I think I have been blessed with many things in life that I'm able to share them with a less fortunate person...with someone who perhaps don't have a safe and happy childhood like I did. I feel alot of people, including my loved-ones, are mangled in their own selfish Wants that they forget to appreciate what they already have...so they whine, kick and cry over what they don't have. They fail to see how many others in this world live without even 1% of what they posses. And that's what makes me wanna be different...different to what the people I know are seeking from life. Sometimes their endless Wants choke my spirit. You don't have to have a million dollars to share with someone else...sharing only requires a feeling heart, and even $10 would make a difference in someone else's life or day. And what's the point in achieving many things in life, having endless assets and having loads of fun if we can't share? So if all goes well, from next week I'll be that little boy's 2nd mum :). And some day I hope to go visit this wonderful boy and his family in Sri Lanka...cos I wanna do one more thing, and that is HUG him with all my heart!

(please note: This post is not for me to gain praise. By writing about my work towards the needy, I intend to make a positive change in others who may read this. That's my soul intention of letting you all know what I do on the sidelines of my life. Don't honor me for I'm only a small fish in this big ocean of life...if you really wanna make a difference, take a step ahead and help someone in need. Thanks all!)

Current Music: Bed Of Roses by Bon Jovi

Losing Something & Finding Everything...

And The Dewdrop Shall Fall...

Something died in me. Watching how the treacherous weekend bushfires wrecked so many lives of so many people here in Australia, I realised how fragile we are at the hands of Nature. We say we have the power, but we really don't. I sat on my couch and watched on TV how so many people lost all their belongings, houses and businesses, and how over 100 people lost their lives just like that. I was just a spectator of it all...I felt useless cos I couldn't do much to wipe their tears or to stop the fires. It all happened as it was planned by Mother Nature...some things are just meant to happen, and we have no power over them. So many friends from around the world called me, emailed me etc asking if I was ok...but I was nowhere close to these fires. I was safe and sound. But I was really broken inside. I could assure them that I was ok, that I hadn't lost my home or my life or any loved-ones. I'm ok...but someone else isn't. And it breaks my heart. But something set me free watching it all. I felt that if someone else could lose so much and yet survive, I can too. After all, life is just a flickering flash...you never know when it will all end. What matters is that you keep going somehow.

True Freedom Comes With A Heavy Price...

The extreme heat over the weekend drove me to do a very brave thing...I cut my long long hair! Yes someone needs to give me a Bravery award for this cos I was very reluctant to get rid of my long hair, but I did :). It set me free somehow. Have you ever lived with something that you couldn't live without at all? Have you ever said goodbye to something you loved so much, something that you held very close to your heart? I didn't even think twice, I just walked into my hairdresser's, asked her to cut my hair in layers and much shorter than I expected to and voila 2/3 of hair was gone! And I felt just fine. Living without something you once were very close to opens up a fresh new side to you...it teaches you to live with courage and strength like never before...it sets you free. It's hard at the beginning, but eventually you'll see that life has a way of teaching you how to be courageous, and for that you have to lose somehow. And it's life's biggest losses that find you your biggest strengths.

Angel Brigade...
Also I wanna thank Cess, Enchanted, Margie, Anuz, Mayz and Hemz for being my angels in the last few days. I also wanna thank Ria and Sunshine Girl for making me smile through their amazing post dedications to me. THANKS n HUGS I love you all! Cess, Hemz, Mayz and Anuz thanks for being so concerned and for all the very sweet emails...just goes to show how much you truly care. btw I will reply to all your comments in the last post as soon as I get some time. I'll also reveal my next flatmate in my next post. And sorry I haven't been around Blogville lately...don't feel upto it somehow...hopefully I will be back soon. Thanks All!


The Gains In Losses...

This post is dedicated to all those who lost lives, homes, businesses, belongings and everything they ever lived for in the horrendous bush fires in Victoria and NSW. Now that you've lost something so precious, you'd have found something else that's even more precious. And that will be your WILL POWER and COURAGE to go on, like never before. And that is all we really need to survive. Cos everything else in life, including our lives is for rent...nothing I have is truly mine, except my instincts, conscience and will-power. God bless you all!

Current Music: Life For Rent by Dido

From Mumbai With Love...

Update: *yawn* the game is back on! ;-)

I'll be choosing my next hot flatmate from this post, depending on your answer to the following question (no magic number X this time, and Chriz no you don't have to leave yet...not until the new one arrives ok, haha!). I will choose my flatmate based on the humor, wisdom, observation and interpretation skills elements of your answer to the question below. So look at the pics carefully, observe it's colors, background, shape etc and choose the one that's closest to your life for the answer and let me know why. And now the question is:

If your life was a flower, which pic would you choose and why? Describe it in few words. Easy as! Not! ;-)

Also, I wanna wish my dearest friend Uttara a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY for today! I chose a beautiful flower post today, cos a beautiful flower was born on this day and the life, color, fragrance and beauty of that flower has reached my heart across thousands of miles to shine on me forever. And Uttsy even if I'm not here some day, you know I'll shine down on ya from wherever I am...you know you'll always be in my heart...cos I will never forget the warmth and care you showed me here...and though this is the net, that LOVE is very real. My pic here is with the beautiful saree Uttsy sent me last year all the way from Mumbai, all the way from India (some of you may remember that post from 2008). Well Uttsy, guess what...I'm doing the top for it this weekend...cos I have an overseas wedding to attend in May and this will be what I'm gonna wear, I can't wait! :) Anyways you have a beautiful day ahead girl MWAH! This song is for ya, it's one of my favs. Enjoy!

Current Music: When I Die by No Mercy