Wednesday, February 18

Love-Struck On The Way To The Loo!

Welcome to Big blogger Brother Part-1! Remember I have selected 6 housemates to share my house with from few posts down? Suresh, Rakesh, Jay, Amit, Ria, Nita and not forgetting the silent Intruder Soul. Everyone arrived at my place as expected and are doing well so right now...some have even taken over the place with the Sports channel on 24/7, Bonds jocks all over the couch, eating non-stop but not much cleaning happening and just lazying around you see...*Males I mean, ahem!*. Anyways, we are all having a great time so excellent time I must say! And this is the first part of that joint post. Each new housemate was given an individual topic/scenario by me (and none of them knew each others' topics) *given by me ofcourse since I'm the bragging host btw - Big Sister? I think not!* and since some housemates wrote posts that are longer than their stay *no complaints there, I love long should know it by now!* I decided to do this much awaited joint post in separate parts. So this is part-1 and it has posts from 2 housemates that are totally zombified being in LOVE! Check it out for yourselves how Suresh and Rakesh bear their hearts out in the open!


Suresh was given the following scenario:
You bring your girlfriend home and want to have a romantic night with her...but with 6 others in the house, there's absolutely no way of doing that. You cant go out either cos it's raining heavily. You check your room and there's Amit and Rakesh snoring on your bed. You check the loo and there's Ria in there. You check the kitchen and there's Nita and Keshi in there! *rolling eyes by now*. So what do you do to make it happen? And the following script explains what Suresh did.

IS RAAT KI SUBAH NAHIN (No Dawn For This Night)
Suresh had been invited as a guest to Keshi's house. He took this opportunity to get close and know Keshi better. But he had never guessed that there would be other guests.... five more. Somehow Hollywood slasher movies came to his mind.... those movies where strangers gather at one place and suddenly one by one they start getting killed.... very brutally.

He diverted his mind and thought of his girlfriend, Simran. Simran wanted to see her at the earliest as her brothers were planning to get her married off to some software guy from across the borders. He told her to meet her at Keshi's place after some days. At that point of time, he didn't know that there would be other guests.

It was raining cats and dogs when Simran landed at Keshi's place. He just couldn't take her to any nice restaurant or have a candlelit dinner under the stars. Somehow he had to manage within the house. But Keshi was an angel... she had given him a room. Suresh and Simran just crashed into that room to find Jay and Amit sleeping together. The Guys woke up. But didn't make any move to vacate the room, "We were watching the ultra modern version of Devdas. Its too good. We got very involved with the characters." Suresh tried to smile, "So which one of you is Devdas?" The Two masculine gents looked at each other, "None! I am Paru and that is Chandramukhi". Without daring to speak a word, Suresh and Simran came out of the room.

Suresh had to go to the loo. The loo is usually the place where brainwaves came to him. But someone seemed to have taken it on rent. Suresh banged the door twice but someone from inside was weeping out loud,
"No! I can't. The whole world has gone mad. This is the only place where I can find peace."

Suresh had never entered the kitchen at his home. But now that was the only place where they can take refuge. Even that was preoccupied. Rakesh was cooking something. On enquiry, the chef remarked in the soothing manner, "You know they say a way to woman's heart is through her stomach and a man's heart is through his ears. So I am cooking some delicious Food for dinner so as to get close to Keshi." Suresh tried to correct the other person, "I think Its the other way around, 'a way to a man's heart....." But the other party was not listening.

That's when Simran had a good idea and shared it with Suresh. All Suresh had to do was convince the chef, "U know what they say An apple a day keeps the doctor away.... Guess what is it 's improved version...A garlic a day keeps everyone away." Now that he had captured the chef's attention, "
You know garlic is a passion food. You cook garlic and you can win over Keshi. But before that boil it in such a manner that the smell spreads all over the place and remove others so that we can enjoy this romantic night.... what do you say?"

The plan was put to action and the result was as expected. But the landlady Keshi was very angry for the ill-treatment of other guests by the romantic pair and looked at the perpetrators Suresh and Simran. Will she throw them out of her house? Will she excuse them?

VERDICT by the host:
And what do you think Keshi did? Since Garlic is an aphrodisiac (intensifies sexual desire), she got all her housemates to eat what was cooked using Garlic, and they all started doing the Lambada in a Garlic-driven frenzy while Suresh and Simran stood staring shell-shocked at their foiled plan! The love-struck-but-traumatised-by-a-manic-Garlicanised-gang couple immediately left the house, as getting wet in the pouring rain seemed less damaging than witnessing the shameless moves of some overdriven Garlic heads!


Rakesh was given the following scenario:
You are in love with one of the 3 female flatmates (you choose the girl). Write about the torture you're going through being under the same roof with her, watching her every move etc (not being able to tell her yet). And the following script explains what Rakesh was going through.

I Don't Know What To Do...Cos I'll Never Be With You!
“All right guys, it’s been a long night, we’re hitting the sack” said Keshi and all three of them gathered their pillows and after a round of hugs and good night pecks the girls were off to their bedrooms. I was mesmerized swaying to her movement as she walked away. She looked so good, just like a cow in a barn yard, lazily walking away after having her fill of grass.

Smack, I felt on my head and saw Jay staring at me, “I know what you thinking” he said.

Now, definitely he couldn’t imagine me picturing this wonderful piece of ass as a cow, I smiled to myself “No way CB (Cynical Bastard aka Jay), Not in a thousand years”. I somehow liked his nickname – Cynical Bastard, it gave us all a chance to abuse him without him feeling abused coz. after all, it was the name he’d bestowed upon himself.

I could see Amit and Suresh sitting across on the couch, discussing something earnestly. I was sure, they would be discussing either Hindi movies or finance. Now I’m a huge fan of Hindi movies myself but not when you’re staying with the choicest pretty ladies. And pretty soon, they finish their discussion with a handshake as if saying “No offence buddy but cool discussion” and we say our good nights to them as well.

“Don’t sleep on my side of the room Amit” I shout behind him as they walk away.

Jay again looks at me puzzled “What’s with that side of yours anyway?”

“Nothing CB (somehow, I always emphasize on the B) Just its near the bathroom door so I don’t have to walk a lot at night” How can I tell him that from that bed, I can look out straight at the kitchen door and whenever she comes to the kitchen, I can rush in there with an excuse to bump into her.

He finishes the last of his beer in his can with a huge gulp and I down my corona, my mind dizzy with the thoughts of this girl who’s suddenly gate crashed my heart and has taken complete possession of it. The thoughts of my first meeting with her come back to my mind. Keshi introduced all of us to each other and the moment she spoke, I was hooked. Her voice sounded like one of those divine voices (couldn’t remember where I’ve heard a similar voice, maybe when I called the phone sex number) so throaty and full, absolutely loved it the moment I heard her for the first time.

She said something like “Hi, so YOU are Rakesh” and I mumbled something like “No, I’m FUNNY”. It was a sick joke and I hate myself for saying this the first time we met but that’s the thing, my brain fumbles whenever I see a pretty lady. Maybe, all blood rushes out of my brain and goes somewhere else ;-).

But nevertheless, she laughed a little and said “Yeah, you ARE funny”. I loved the way she used to emphasize these words in between her sentences. Felt like she was wrapping her sentence in sugar candy and hitting me on my head with those handles.

I had visited her blog a few times before we met but her profile didn’t say much except that she’s a multi-faceted personality swaying to the emotions of her inner self. I didn’t really understand what she was trying to say but felt that that message was for me but in a code which my heart would decipher someday. Right now, everything was swaying from her thoughts and the beer that we had.

“You know Rakesh, Beer is Gods way of telling us he loves us and wants us to be happy” Jay said, and he dozed off there on the couch and I went back to my bed and dozed off.

Zzz… What the heck, I’ve even started dreaming about her, I think to myself deep in my sleep. I can hear her voice ringing in my years Kehne ko jashne bahara hai, Ishq yeh dekh ke hairaan hai… You know Ria, I love this song and once I got a speeding ticket coz. I was listening to this song and didn’t realize the speed limit”

I was deep in my sleep and her voice seemed to vibrate in my ear tunnels and reach my brain. I started dreaming that I’m the officer and I ask her “License and papers maám”. She flashes me this cute big smile, (she really had a big smile, so big that I could enter her mouth and sit in one of the caves between her teeth) and says in her throaty seductive voice “C’mmon officer, I’m getting late for a meeting”. I tell her, “Ok maám, gimme your phone number instead…” Man, I’m wondering, why am I so cheesy even in my dreams? I mean I could’ve jumped into the passenger seat, it was only a dream and my dream, I should decide what happens there…

Neverthless, I hear her voice again “You know Ria, that officer was such an uptight a%#hole. He didn’t even listen to my requests” WHAT? I was shaken awake from my dream? I heard voices of her and Ria giggling in the kitchen. Ohhh man, she was talking to Ria and I was dreaming about what she was saying??? I shook these crazy thoughts out of my mind and got up and walked to the kitchen in the hope that hers is the first face I’ll see today morning. Just when I was about to enter the kitchen with that silly smile on my face, Suresh barges out of the kitchen and bumps into me.

“Suprabhatam. What’s with this smile today morning? Is Prem in love???” He says. This was his thing. He referred to everyone in third person with Prem as their pseudonym even while speaking to them directly. For instance, if he wanted to ask Jay what he was drinking, he’d say to Jay “What is Prem drinking???” and point to his drink while tweaking his eyebrows. We found that amusing but he was such a nice guy at heart.

“Go ask Prem I grumbled to him and he went away smiling.

I closed my eyes and shook my head to clear Suresh’s picture from my brains in the hope to put her picture on a fresh canvas. I opened my eyes and saw Keshi standing bang in front of me with a puzzled look “Are you sleep walking?”

Forget it, there was no way I could put her on a blank canvas today. So I just entered the kitchen and saw her. There she was stirring that spoon in her coffee mug giggling away over something not very funny while talking to Ria (Ria actually never said anything funny, she always talked about how she spent her weekend; last weekend, we went for a party, this weekend we went for a movie, next weekend, I’m meeting my guy for dinner).

The early morning sunrays entered through the window and seemed to make a beeline for her. She seemed to attract all the sunlight in the room towards herself. The sun’s rays filtered through her hair and fell on the marble floor in artistic patterns. While giggling and sipping her coffee, she caught me staring at her from the corner of her eye.

I looked down immediately feeling guilty just like the time my dad caught me watching porn on the computer. I was in two minds whether to look up or to turn back and head for the bathroom. Suddenly, I had that urge for an early morning piss. But again her voice resonated in my ears “Good morning Laurel, where’s Hardy?” She was referring to Jay obviously. We actually did look like L&H when we stood together but when SHE said it, it seemed like a compliment. It seemed like she’s suggesting, “Come here Laurel, wrap me in your thin bony arms”.

I smiled and walked towards her forgetting the urge for that piss. It had to wait now that sunshine had spoken. I picked up a bottle of water and sat on the stool pretending to drink. The fact was my bladder was already bursting and I couldn’t risk putting any more water in it.

Me: “Good morning Nita, Hardy is still sleeping.”

Nita: “Oh good I met you, I wanted to talk to you about something really important.”

Me: “Me and Important don’t really go together, don’t you know?”

Nita: “Oh ya right, but I think you’re the only one who can help me.”

Me: “Sure, anything princess, just name it” I turned on my charming button. By now, I wasn’t aware if there was anyone else in the kitchen and even she didn’t seem to care.

She smiled “Princess, Ahan? See, that’s why I wanted to talk to YOU. Umm… I wanted to ask you… err… how do I?”

Me: “Oh C’mmon, Nita and shy? Don’t tell me.”

Nita: “Not shy silly, just feeling awkward. Can’t think of anything…”

She thought some more “Umm... Ok, YOU tell me, what would you say to someone if you really love her like crazy?”

It seemed like I’d waited for these words all my life. It seemed like everything was falling in place now but I had to pretend and appear cool. I couldn’t fold up and collapse in front of her just listening to her professing her love for me. So I played along.

Me: “What would I say? Hmm… can’t think of anything good right now, coz. you know I’ll have to give it a lot of thought” And the truth was at that time, my brain was buzzing with her sentence “LOVE HER LIKE CRAZY… LOVE HER… LOVE… LOVE”. I couldn’t sit straight, forget about thinking.

Me: “But why are you asking?” I asked, hoping to hear the most cherished words every guy dreams.

Nita stopped sipping the coffee, looked up into my eyes and smiled, my heart stopped and she said “It’s Valentines day right?”

Me: “Yeah…”

Nita: “So I’ve to call my husband… and”

I didn’t hear a word after that, I think I have to go and piss after all…

VERDICT by the host:
awwww if only all men on Earth were as genuine and sweet as Rakesh is, I would be married by now with 5 kids, doing the dishes, washing clothes, working around the clock, cleaning the house 24/7, putting up with a Footy-obsessed husband that leaves empty beer bottles and wet towels on the floor etc. ehhh, maybe I'm better off with my binoculars and drooling on Rakesh as he drives to work every day, what say girls? I mean look at him! *ahem I think he's gonna be a long-term housemate of mine cos ya know I'm a very compassionate soul haha!* Ok I have to go to the loo now excuse me excuse...duh someone's hogging it for the past 3 hours!
*rolling eyes*

THANKS a bunch Suresh and Rakesh for your brilliant imagination, warm company, precious time and very sweet gestures! You guys simply rock! I love having you here and it's a pleasure to have done a joint post with you. *hot smackers to ya from Keshaayyyy!* ;-) And don't go anywhere yet...cos you're still living with me and the rest, until all the others post their posts too. :)

Now all of you stay tuned for the other 4 hot housemates' and the silent Intruder's sizzling posts that will come later on!

Current Music: You're Beautiful by James Blunt

62 Cranium Signets:

Anonymous said...

Keshi, can't say much here! I guess you know exactly what i'm thinking ;-) I guess, there are a million binoculars already strained at your house, trying to catch a glimpse of you.

And the song was a beautiful addition! Thanks a million for that.

And I'm sorry if I've offended anyone (Suresh, Jay, Ria, Nita) in the post above. I was just trying to make it funny (at your expense, though)

Suresh - So Prem is horny eh? And Simran, I was so sure she'll feature in your post... he he. Buddy, you just had to ask and I'd hold up a curtain for you while you go at it on the kitchen platform lol...

Keshi said...

HAHA Rakesh nah I must THANK u! U did a great job. I was LMAO while reading ur funny and real too! :)

**there are a million binoculars already strained at your house

no there r no such ppl ard my!

btw did u know Suresh had PREM and I changed all of em to SURESH? LOL ask him...he's really cute with his Prem & Simran stories! I loved it.


Keshi said...

And Rakesh this song...cos its abt LOVE and especially cos u love this song alot. ;-)


Kartz said...

... And Keshi spins a web again... ;)

@ Suresh and Rakesh

Peace. Have a nice day.

Suresh Kumar said...

Hmm.... Keshi.... Anyway I would have preferred to get drenched in the rain like the bollywood style.... Anyway I hope I will be accommodated when I return in the morning.

Rakesh : No offence at all. I liked your post.
Yeah, sometimes i get lost in Prem's world. I confess to that. Seems someone has injected me the truth serum.
And Better luck next time with a girl. :)

Feeling horny ?
Barsaat ki RAAT hain,
aur Ladki SAATH hain.
So what do you expect PREM to do? :)

The Rat... said...


W00t... so keshi girl enjoyin with ur hot room-mates huh... :-D.. i seriously tot Rakesh ll have secret passion on u not otherwise.. chalo thats d way it has to be... everyone cant be chriz , rite?

i am straining my binoculars at ur place, anyways... Rakesh nahi tho jay,jay nahi tho Suresh.. he he he he

utopia said...

hahahah! interesting :-)

Margie said...

oh, loved it!
So funny!!!!!!
Thanks, guys!


!Teq-uila Del Zapata said...

awesomely written posts.
you rule man!
wow lol for Garlic thing
one suggestion though:
the list of your admirers is so long and I am having tough time figuring our who is who, I request u to put a blog roll list(top 10 or top 20 kinda.) and whenever they are referred they should be hyperlinked with respective blogs, so that this confusion of who is who will not make me crazy.

Arv said...

that was some read... good work by your flatmates :)

have a nice day mate... cheers...

Talking To My Soul said...

Ah! Suresh was so li'l gentle (I understand, he was with his lady) and boy! Rakesh more than made up for that with his imagniationn (on fire) and whacky humour. You guys are having a ball at Kesh' place, I am sure.

I am watching, people. Kesh, your flatmates are rocking.

Tremendous, I say. Laughed a lot.


irshad said...


This is one of the best Keshi.. :)

Regards, Irshad

mayz said...

u kno this whole living situation kinda reminds me of big brother...y dont u do that too...let all d bloggers vote on who gets kicked out...m feelin sadistic tdy :P

Asha said...

That is one loooonngggg post! :D

Have fun with your roommates, glad you are enjoying them and they are sharing your space! ;)

Akshat said...

Hey K

Oh it's so longggggggggggggggggg...Haen't read it yet!! Would do soon....btw love james blunt!!!..

Take Care

Jay said...

Those were both awesome.

Rakesh is a funny guy! haha

Good stuff, both of you!

AmitL said...

Hahaha..Keshi,no wonder you didn't put all 6 posts together...even reading these two end to end at one go(No pun intended) was,err,tedious..u see,I can't ROFL and read at the same time..great going,Suresh and Rakesh..:)

Anonymous said...

Too long post.

Ria said...

Wow!what a rocking start to our joint post babe!i think Rakesh and Suresh did an amazing job. :) Although i feel Rakesh's part are more juicy... (u knw wht i mean) ;)

And hey Rakesh u need not feel sorry for anything...i think i enjoyed my special appearance in ur post. :P It was funny and nice. :) Really liked ur version dude! :D

And Keshi u r too good hun!! An awesome director i must say. ;)

Anonymous said...

To be honest with you.....
I gave up reading ...its too long man...
Life Reflections

Princess Mia said...

wow......i did nt know this was happening at yru blog...interesting.... i need to catch up on the other posts that i issed out...

Chriz said...

creaaaaative indeeed...

this one banged and rocked...
was that nitaraaaa@ nita?
cool she is...and the rest f the gang too

prabirsaha said...


You amaze me!!! You are a natural story teller. You will be very rich and famous one day!!! if you choose to become so...the world needs this skills, you are what I call the STAR-CREATOR profile as per the "Wealth Dynamics" model.

A standing ovation for you ...applause :))

Keep writing .... and I love your whacky sense of humour .... sensual too ... high 5


Keshi said...

TOO funny I mean! @Rakesh :)

btw u called my ass a cow? LOL great!


Keshi said...

hey ty Kartz :)


Keshi said...

aww ty Suresh!

I loved ur script..and u r so very cute with ur Prem and Simran soooo cute!

**Anyway I would have preferred to get drenched in the rain like the bollywood style....

haha thats why I made u 2 go out...its more romantic and u 2 can dance in the rain like SRK n Kajol! ;-) Just dun catch a cold!

**Anyway I hope I will be accommodated when I return in the morning.

ofcourse! The door is open to u ALWAYS :)

Who's horny btw? Rakesh? LOL!


Keshi said...

hey ty Rat!

**i seriously tot Rakesh ll have secret passion on u not otherwise.. chalo thats d way it has to be... everyone cant be chriz , rite?

HAHA r ya serious! he picked me, I think cos Ria is already taken and Nita is married, in his story :)

I hv strained alll my binoculars Rat...excuse me, I must go buy a new and more powerful pair of binoculars LOL!


Keshi said...

ty Utopia! :)


Keshi said...

hehehe ty Margie!

Rem Im a piece of JUNK lol! And im hvn so much fun!



Keshi said...

ty Anuz :)

why d u need to know the list cos u wudnt know them anyways lol!


Keshi said...

ty Arv!

I doubt u read it tho lol!


Keshi said...

OMG Soul the Intruder is freaking me out! He cud be noticing all the dumb things I do infront of the mirror every moring :(

ty Soul ;-)


Keshi said...

ty Irshad!

why is it one of the best? :)


Keshi said...

haha Mayz nooooo I wudnt wanna kick any one of em out!


Keshi said...

hey ty Asha! :)

Sharing the bathroom with males isnt so much fun tho!


Keshi said...

aww ty Akshat!

take ur time :)


Keshi said...

hey ty Jay! ;-)

yeah Rakesh is addictive!


Keshi said...

ty Amit!

yeah imagine 7 posts in 1 post? LOL!


Keshi said...

Hobo then dun read it :)


Keshi said...

aww ty Ria!

yes its a great start to our shared accommodation online :) It will get better with all ur JUICY posts coming up too!



Keshi said...

Reflections WC n ty!

No worries @too long!

u see I cant please everyone! :)


Keshi said...

hey Mia no worries :)

**......i did nt know this was happening at yru blog

cos u hv been so out of touch with my blog :(


Keshi said...

ty Chriz!

awww we miss u at our place! btw u left ur red undies behind...can ya come n collect em? LOL!


Keshi said...

ty Prabir!

**You are a natural story teller. You will be very rich and famous one day

the only WEALTH I'm seeking from my posts is self-contentment by making ppl around the world LAUGH/SMILE :)

Cos so many ppl live boring or sad lives...if not for a lil laughter, their lives wud be more dull.


Margie said...

Girls just wanna have fun...even junk ones like the likes of you & me! LOL!

Missed answer...just voice mail ):
Next time!

I'm going to visit the kid that was in the skiing accident now and I'm very anxious to see him!

Bye, hun!


Keshi said...

hey Margie :)

no one's home then.

hell yeah girls just wanna hv fun! make it INSANE JUNKIE girls lol!

Guess some SANE girls r hvn very lil fun or no fun at all in their lives..I do feel sorry for em :( Life is too short to be a whine-bag u see!


Anonymous said...

OMGOSH! I LOVED THIS KESHI!! hahaha! So much laughter here! I loved both posts.. Rakesh was so funny!

Keshi said...

hehehe ty Ne MWAH! :)


firebird said...

Keshi, this is a blast! I can't tell how much is truth or fantasy...but I don't care, it's a great read either way! Sure brightened up MY day with laughter! (And was NOT at all too long--)
And thanks for your very lovely comment on my blog--that made my day too!

Keshi said...

hey WC Firebird and ty!

Fantasy it is :) but we all need some Fantasy in our lives or our lives will be so dull.

btw u hv such a neat blog!


Southpaw unplugged said...

Didnt knew that that competition was gonna build up a beautifull family like this...:)

Keshi said...

Southy its actually turned into a sweet FAMILY n its really nice :) tnxx!


SMM said...

This was superb fun Kesh...I think I'm going to crash and get a few others too so we can have an impromptu Saturday night party at your place with all your happening roommates :)

irshad said...

Hi Keshi,

A good post but I would like to mention the fact that loving someone and being physical are two different things.

Agreed that being physical is part and parcel of love (when you have full faith in the other person).

Being physical without love or any emotional attachment is lust.

Keshi said...

haha ty SMM! :) ur most WC to crash at my place anytime babez, i'd love ur company!


Keshi said...

tnxx Irshad!

**Agreed that being physical is part and parcel of love (when you have full faith in the other person).

DUH like I didnt know it? :)

This is just a FUN post Irshad...take it lightly. Besides we dont live in a totally black n white world...LOVE, LUST they all jump their definitions in our day to day situations. Its not all pinned up so neatly in real life :)


irshad said...


Ha Ha true enough... Nothing in this world is black and white if so there will not be any ambiguity about anything and no wars coz everyone know is right and who is wrong... :)

Keshi said...

yes Irshad Im glad u realise that. If ppl u'stood the real difference between Love and Lust, Love n Hate, War and Peace etc etc we'd be living in such a PERFECT world :)


comfortably numb said...

tht was 2 gr8 write ups bak 2 bak...gr8 stuff guyz...loved it totally!

Keshi said...

aww ty CN :)


Princess Mia said...

am back back.....n i shall try my best to keep myself updated....i miss reading yur posts

Keshi said...

aww Mia its ok..I know we all get busy at different times.