Wednesday, May 25

Convenience Marriage

I believe most people marry for convenience. Some call it true love...but no, all they want is someone to rely on, someone to take care of them when they are old, someone for company, someone to have children with, someone for that and this...I know that humans need company, love and care, but it makes me wonder if two people would fully trust each other and love unconditionally if there was no such thing as marriage. If there was no paper pledging their love for each other, what would happen? Would they do better than taking each other for granted? Just look what happens when a divorce or separation is about to happen. I bet no one walks away wanting nothing from the other. I heard my friend's friend saying she will take every piece of furniture from him before she gives him the divorce, meanwhile he had taken the custody of their only child...and they could demean themselves this way only because of the obligation that was attached to that piece of paper.

32 Cranium Signets:

Anonymous said...

I entirely disagree with you. True, marriages are not made in heaven. Marriages are made on the earth by earthlings for earthly reasons. Marriage is a certificate of social acceptance of the relationship between two persons. You may argue that if the relationship is all about love and trust, why we need a certificate.

The society enforces certain responsibilities on the partners, which otherwise might be not so strong. I believe in the institution of marriage, apart from reasons of procreation and love.

saby said...

i dont tink mice shud be permitted to take part in dis debate

Legal marriage is an out moded institution

law cannot enforce fidelity, love or trust

legal marriage is required only for pre-empting property disputes of heirs and succession rights

and to prevent manipulation of woomen

now wih empowerment of woomen
woomen dont want legal marriage either

and by nature men and woomen want more than one sexual partner

nature wants it dat way
we are programmed to procreate and propagate the species

Pithaly has done a doctorate on dis subject
i learned from him

DLAK said...

I believe I will have another whisky/diet coke.

saby said...

Pssssst! Dlak,
the racial discrimination is on the previous blogg u ass

Stud said...

Goodbye Keshi babesterness and all blogmates :)

Miranda said...

It is sad. I got married young, I was with him for half my life. Its been 3 years now and we cant even be in the same room together. funny how we shared so much, and it only took a few ill words to tear it apart.

Tanvi said...

i kinda do believe in love n i dun think ppl marry cuz of the convenience...maybe some but not all..we kinda do it indirectly because if we love the person then we noe that they will be around to take care of us...n maybe realizin that makes us love them even more..n i think people would still love each other that much if there was no such thing as marriage...
but then again..thatz juz me

jkhkhjkh said...

Institution of Madness

I would never tell you marry,
If you found yourself in love, that's all I got to talk.

Thats no one else's business,
So why would you be signing up a contract with your love.

So long as you dont marry, you will always have the freedom, the choice to be in love.

If you sign up for the preacher when love's emotions are too uncontrolled,

You have got legal problems, if your love dies and never nurtures at all.

marriage is the Institution of Madness,
Is killing the only true love you,ve got.

jkhkhjkh said...

The previous post answered Mirandas' conundrum.

Tanvi, when you say,"if we love the person then we know that they will be around to take care of us"...

Which means that one is constantly seeking security. Emotional security, physical security, monetory security, and so on. Is seeking security, love?

Verily, the only security is the knowledge that there is no security.

And if there is no security, then "time" does not enter the picture. If time does not enter the picture, then love is dynamic,

Only then can you love.

Tanvi said...

pithaly..we dun love to seek security..u dun start loving a person knowing that they're gonna love u back...security is just something that u get by love..but not everyone intentionally wantz security wen they actually want love..

Anonymous said...

Tanvi u r a kid , a 16 yr oldie to talk about marriage ..go n study!!!!!!!!!!

4u2nvau/Rohit said...

why get married at all??? lol

Keshi said...

anonymous 7:16pm I agree with you. however my point was that if not for the 'legal' documents the two sign on their wedding day, would not their love for each other exist? Are you saying that they try hard to stick together because of 'legal' implications? If so, marriage is just like any other business bond.

Saby I totally agree with you. ~~Law cannot enforce fidelity, love or trust~~ 100% correct!

Stud where the hell are you going saying good-bye n all? come bak :)

Miranda that's what I mean. Whether married or not people separate...but when married people feel more obliged and more strained about their 'responsibilities'. And I believe that love and trust isnt about that at all. Hope ur happy now Mirrz whoever u r with right now :)

Tanvi sweety i did not mean I dont believe in love :) What I meant was that people 'expect' too much when they get married...expect to be taken care of, expect to be loved back, expect to acquire belongings if in dispute etc etc only because of the 'treaty' thats signed. Now dont get me wrong, I know there are people who are NOT like this at all...they are happily married without taking each other for granted...but there are alot of others who dont have a 'natural' sense for what love and marriage is. You are right, some people will truly love each other forever, even if marriage does not exist.

Pithaly I agree...u seem to know it all :)
~~And if there is no security, then "time" does not enter the picture. If time does not enter the picture, then love is dynamic~~
Love that bit!

Tanvi what Pithaly means is that people uncosciously DO 'expect' security when they love someone and that security is intensified in expectation when getting married...if u know what I mean :) And thats now what 'love' is...

loll nv let me tell pearly...wait :)

Living in Aus and coming from a conservative family background, I can see why most of Indian marriages are not open and happy ones...basically these people 'put up' with each other for the sake of marriage and society. Now dont come crashing down on me lollz...there are happy ones too. But alot of people are just 'surviving' the marriage.

Keshi.

saby said...

my parents did

bt it was tuff for dem
and me

as a child, u end up taking sides
i hated my mom, i tot my dad was the victim

much, much laterrr
i understood
mom was not to blame

it was just incompatibility
they shudnt have gotten married in the first place

mrchaos_chilled said...

no comments

Janice said...

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww thats rohit sounds like such a sweetheart sayin why get married at all makes me fantasis about giving a nice knock on the head with a broom... lol belive it or not i kinda like rohit hes a cutie pie i liked him on chat the way he kept askin us to cut it out wht we were discussing ... oh n btw kesh honey i don know Chris's SHOE SIZE hehe *WINK WINK* thanks for tellin me abt it i was damn curious after out little talk:)....and yes keshi taking for granted arrises in every relationship not just marriages take the mother daughter father son relationship also or even brother sisters people behave differently with others friends or in the work place they are friendly tolerant at times cause they know those people are not ur mummy daddy that will take ur tantrums.... u end up snappin or being rude to family cause u know they r family that too is a taking family for granted isnt it... no relationship is HAPPY kesh there are ups n down in every ones life but going thru being there for each other is wth cements the foundation or in sum relations atleast i belive....

saby said...

heyyyy Jan,
watch it!
u mite get a hard knock on the head from Pearl

its not fair, u gott Chris
now u trying for xtramarital wid Rohit

Anonymous said...

Saby seems to believe more in living together stuff. Marriage has a greater social acceptance in comparison to live together relationships. Many marriages are forced on the couples, or with little consent on the persons, in traditional indian societies. That does not mean people become mute spectators to the drama unfolding in the marital relationship, they are not victims, nor they are the culprits, incompatibility happens in every relationship. Since when we are alike?

Marriage does not limit your freedom to fall in love, if you call changing your partner like opening up a new bottle of whiskey, love, then you may disagree with me. Marriage is essentially a meeting up of two minds, when they disagree, that does not result in a divorce or a split, cause of the societal restrictions put on you, may be kids, financial security.

You are always free to make a range of choices in any cirm-cumstance, I believe so. Marriage is no different. Marriage is a convenient place to make few choices, regardless of the love element, how haphazard those choices might be, how fragile they might be.

saby said...

quote 'i believe so'unquote

annony mouse why u hide?
who ru ?

its OK not to be cool!

Keshi said...

hehe Jan hugggz! Yep I agree with ya...no r'ship is 100% perfectbut the marriage papers add to that imperfection. n abt nv...hmm he's too sensitive these days...Id let him be kesh-free for a while :) prolly he had enuff of Keshi humor.

no comments chaozz?? aww I thought u r the most matrimonial guy on IT lol!

hey anonymous 2:44pm I agree with ya...marriage has a 'social' acceptance but why do we care so much about the 'society'...that's the crux of tangible expectations....thats what we worry so much about. Most Indian couples like to show happy faces to the world while they come homw and trash each other - happy face is because of the 'expectation' of the society for u to be happy in ur marriage. but u know Im totally pro-marriage :) I dun seriously encourage living together...atleast its not something my family would appreciate. But I dun see anything wrong in that either...its just like marriage without the legal implications, isnt it?

Keshi.

Keshi said...

And hey all,

I have enabled Anonymous comments as few of my friends who would like to comment without their IDs requested me to do so. So please no abuses.

Thanks!
Keshi.

saby said...

most marriages in india are child marriages

the wooman is just barely out of school

and she is engaged and married off
and soon starts littering

it happened dis way wid my parents too

The Unlucky Charm said...

well... me is too young for a placing my views here...bt plagiarizm is my potency!...n one more thing i wud like to add is...one should not use most-confusing-unstrctured-very general-word-called-luv...in any type of debate...in order to minimize the confusion.
.--- so ..here i go...
Aim at seven things in marriage;
All the rest you may isparage;
Get money,good looks,
And knowledge of books,
good family,youth,
Position and truth.

- Panchtantra.

you must unlearn the leson if you have learnt it before ,that marriage is for the satisfaction og animal appetite (Read convenience here) .MK GANDHI * i guess.

the ULC said...

the satisfaction of* animal appetite

n few other spell errors..

saby said...

there are only 2 kingdoms for living beings
animal kingdom and
vegetable kingdom

fruits and vegetables dont need a sexual partner to procreate

Man (and wooman) is a virile animal
and sex is a basic need

the catlik padres have to take oath of celibacy and see wat happened in USA !

it happens in India too but it dont get publicized

Anonymous said...

Marriage is legalised prostitution.

--pearl-- said...

tanku saby :)yep hes O-n-l-y mine:)

kesh-i dun think ppl always start relationships thinkin that they r gonna get married... most of d relationships.. once u knw that person n everythin.. its only then u feel d need to marry...so in dat case..they dint fall in love to get married...soo this line
"wonder if two people would fully trust each other and love unconditionally if there was no such thing as marriage".....in marriages(unless arranged) they fall in love first n den get married...so yes ppl can fall in love,and love each other..without actully bein married..i guess lol

Anonymous said...

I shall not comment more on this subject except than qouting this humorous poem of a famous German poet, Heinrich Heine.

After our wedding day
all will envy you,
for you can loaf and you can play,
with nothing else to do.

And when you scold and when you curse
I shall keep still, of course;
but if you do not praise my verse,
I shall get a divorce.

julia said...

dats tuff on the lady
Heinrich Heine's verse stinks

julia said...

heyyy guys,
lemme tell u about dat professor saby

he nos a lot theory
but he fails in pracs

he needs sex counselling

saby said...

Rohittttttt,
ur being taken for a ride

Thë Icè Þr¡ñce§§ said...

wow ..
wat a great post we got here.
everyone wid great opinions. and i lost mine after reading them all. well i guess ill cum back wen it pops back in my head.

^_^