Tuesday, July 28

After The Pretty













In the depth of this pain, there's a glimmer of hope..
At the top of this joy, there's a tinge of betrayal
In the stillness of the night, there's a life beginning..
In the empty of this life, there's a fill of breaths
At the bottom of this darkness, there's a birth of light..
In the core of this laughter, there's a mile of tears
At the height of rejection, there's a span of acceptance..
In the beauty of this smile, there's a crooked deception...


I'm not sure why I wrote what I wrote above. Something deep within me wanted me to express it somehow. Those thoughts just popped up in my mind and I inked them. Maybe there's something in my subconscious mind that needs to be taken care of. I don't know. Maybe how some people have been behaving has made me stop in my tracks and ponder upon it. Maybe I'm not sure where I'm heading with all of this...I feel lost. Maybe I'm feeling a sense of detachment...maybe I'm tired of people's lies. What happens after all the pretty words are being said? Where do friends go after that? It seems people have left and I'm still here, living in their afterglow...reliving the times in their shadows. I'm caught in your shadow and all I have is hollow. Was it real? Was it a joke? Was it just me?


Can you relate to it/understand it/make sense out of it? Spill em. I'd like to know. Thanks in advance.


Current Music: Afterglow by INXS

120 Cranium Signets:

Devika said...

I think its just the Automanic you, Keshi :)

Last night I wrote so much...and put them to fire!

My idea is don't work on useless/worthless thoughts...it happens to everyone...

all the world is a stage Keshi....laugh and the world laughs with you...cry and you do it alone...

some write poetry out of it, and sometimes it becomes a matter of joke for the common man!

I love poetry though...i must say the refined, distilled ones :)

wishes,
devika

Rakesh Vanamali said...

It certainly made a good read! Besides, if you felt writing it.....then it was good that you wrote it....isn't it?

ZiLliOnBiG said...

we all have two parts of our subconscious self. one part which says, everything is fine and people around us love you and care about you. This part takes care when you are in the most pleasant self, cheering you up and providing gleefulness.

We also have a part of subconsciousness which is constantly insecure about everything about and around us. It keeps cropping newer doubts and cynicism about everything, relationships, friendships etc. And when this part takes over , we are left with gloom and poignant.

I guess we all go through blues, and when we are passing through such stage, everything appears sad.

The whole world is a figment of our imagination. What we perceive is what we see. We assume about people, if they hate us, or love us, but the truth is far removed. TC, :))

ZiLliOnBiG said...

sorry, i didnt tell you about ur POM, its nice, simple and yet insightful.Very true

Sorry, i got carried away and preached. Give me a chance and i can go-on and on preaching, for a whole day. i love preaching.

**In the depth of this pain, there's a glimmer of hope..** so true, if only if we stop and think this way and not get carried away by the Pain. TC:)

Hobo ........ ........ ........ said...

Move on...

Maddy said...

Keshi girl,

Its all reminder of our life and path to the enlightenment. Whatever combination ( opposites) you have expressed are mutually exclusive. We can’t enjoy and experience one of them without the other. Enjoy the happiness to the core with a pinch of salt( like other things).

Detachment doesn’t give us happiness, but detached attachment.

Ria said...

Its the bitter reality of life!!what u see is not always what u get. Things may not be as they appear to be. Hence, i never take anyone on face value. What u hav said is only a realisation that comes across after having several such experiences. Nothing new actually.

Arv said...

realisation... and coming to terms with it...

I hope you are feeling ok now da...

the poetry was simply a pure flow of thoughts... it showed :)

more than those words... you know wat is on my mind...

pls take care...

Rashmi said...

I think all of us have two minds... one negative and the other positive... and both are at conflict with each other..

And somewhere even if we have everything and people who love us, we feel that somewhere we are alone and seperate from the others...

Suresh Kumar said...

Hota hain! It happens!

I am in a partnership and sometimes I feel is his words and smiles all are genuine. Then If I harbor such negative emotions for long, it wud definitely destroy me. So I just do my work and at the end of the day come home and do what i enjoy doing most- blogging, listening music or chatting with friends....

Don't worry about intentions... Be yourself...

SMM said...

Its like yin and yang, good and bad, black & white, angels & demons - the optmist & the pessimist in you appears together. You talk about the dawn of a new day and then in the same breath the darkness of night brining it to an end.Sometimes, we tend to welcome the dawn of a new day while sometimes we yearn for the dark of the night and the day to end.

But somewhere at the back of a mind we also know that the end of the night will bring a new day. one friend lost can also mean you meet a new friend.

Tarun said...

Smiles without any intention to either flatter or deceive.

Never ever understood poetry.
:(

I am not even making an attempt to understand.
Nothing against the poetry though.

Tarun said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thousif Raza M.B said...

it was awesome, it felt so simple but the thoughts aw, they are just out of this world i tell you


can relate to them, sometimes what we feel is exactly felt by the other, or for that matter most of them,

but you have written in beautifully yaar just amazing,i loved it very very much


i updated my blog hope to see ya there soon

take care and keep writing........

MARIA said...

I wish you a bless day ♥

Akshat said...

Hey K...

Cheer up it's life......believe me i'm in school and beside studying.... everyone is back-bitching, gossiping, spreading rumor and what nots......

But the fact is people who actually matter to you do not believe in those rumors.....

So it shouldn't mater you know!!

Love this song btw!!! :D

ani_aset said...

It swinging between hope and despair at the same time. Seems like you are going through a bad phase and are looking for some hope or,
going through a really good phase and are afraid that it may not last long

White Magpie said...

The whole life is a paradox. We meet everything in phases. Plus we want it ALL, don't we? Our mind crunches all this continuously and bloody doesnt let us focus..This is Sigmund Fraud for you minus the xual overtones :)

Cheer up..Jo chahiye mil jayega..

Jeevan said...

These are indeed nice thoughts. Many a pain and suffer might brings certain thoughts in seek of expressions, right and truth. Sometimes pretty words fade, if they aren’t true shade.

Talking To My Soul said...

The mind is not still. It is when the subconscious where thoughts dormant hitherto do rise and take over.

Stop a while. Allow yourself a few breaths. You have been surrounded by so many thoughts some of which have been given vent to here on this space but some lie deep down.

A small break would you have refreshed. Though it comes at a huge price of us being left alone here. But wait we will.

Be good. Be at peace.

*smilez*

Jimmy said...

and we also have to buy ARMS from USA to safeguard our nuclear reactors
clever bastards
the US of A

Jimmy said...

Devikaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

missed u heaps
where u been?

humbl devil said...

get drunk on some champagne..if you dont like the taste of beer...and then read this post..and type whatever comes to your mind...

p.s.
i never got drunk in my life...:P
somehow alcohol takes a loooong tym to get it's effects on me...

Arunima said...

lemme decode it...
Its mixed emotions Keshi.
u talk of hope bt also of betrayal.
u mention tears bt also life!
sumthing is bothering u deep down as if u have 2 make a decision or choice!

Mysterious Mia said...

hey sweetheart...

how r u ...
am here after a while, just wasnt getting the time to catch up on blogville.....

anwyays i guess u just blurt out yur inner most feelings......dont ya worry cos a lotta times it does happen that we land up expressing ourselves n then think if it was really us .....

i guess it yur inner voice talking to u :)

btw a big warm hug for ya :)

KK said...

Everyone has their cloudy days and their share of bright sunny days... so I am sure everyone understand what you have written...

Just jump out of the blue fast :)

Margie said...

Yes, I can relate very much to what you wrote!
You know that, right?

And, I'm always here for you!

BBL...ok!

Take care, hun!

Margie:)

Shachi said...

Very deep! Not sure what is in your subconscious mind....but it's good you wrote it, blogged it, and let it out.

Be happy again :)

I have read your posts last few days, but in a hurry or with interruptions so have not commented on all of them. Work is busier than usual so I get tired once I get home.

You are on a blogging spree - enjoy it :)

Priya Joyce said...

This feeling wud get away soon re..dun worry..Its that we just can't expect certain things at certain times..I'd say u keep behaving as u were and just dun bother how the world behaves to u..
At least u'd be happier inside :)

tc

Jimmy said...

I am longing to see the day
when the blog goddess will be a blushing bride

Jimmy said...

I bet she wont wear white

Jimmy said...

where have all the good times gone?

the loves
ROHIT 4u2nav
looney
NEHA
the japonese girl
Kerry
Caraf
Karen the star bender
sheesemeister
and countless others

the fights
the police guy from Jammu
the Red Indian with a hammock on a tree

these are partying in the clouds
Janice
Pithaly


one day we will all meet again
up there

no more fights
jealousy
envy

just pure unadulterated love

SaffronSaris said...

I guess we might never know. The human brain is already complex, and sometimes people just want to make it even more complex, for whatever reason....

As Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage, and man, mere players".

We just have to pay our dues in this life and hopefully, the dues don't get too long to pay off, and we can have some fun and good company along the way.

:D

Margie said...

The way some people behave is just a reflection on how they really are.
Pretty words spoken by those that pretend to care but then the truth comes out & we know the real person.
Sincere people don't tell lies!
Nothing I hate more than lies & fake people!

God, Please deliver me from fake people!
Don't u feel that way too, Keshi?

I had my fill of a very fake person when I was at my dauhgter's wedding & when I came home I stewed for days over her but then I just said to myself, "Why shud I even give her a 2nd thought."
Just not worth waisting my precious time & I just let it go.
It was freedom to me!

TC my dear friend!

Going to soak now.
Just wanted to share that little bit with you before going!

Margie

irshad said...

Good Read to cheer up a boring day.

♪♪HARINI♪♪ said...

i think it was real, and it was you being you.

its so normal, i mean the poem isnt something about some treasure hidden at some place people havent visited and you could find the place and the treasure :P that would have been something you could worry about!

this is something everyone feels and goes through.. just that happiness and sadness are so mixed together that one cant exist without the other. sometimes one is more visible and we overlook the other, sometimes we see both...

and youre a person who see both the happiness and sadness together so you wrote this poem..

right?

!Teq-uila Del Zapata said...

very layered, not an outright one. i like all the deceptive contradiction in the lines. Beautiful poem, however, i am not still able to guess ur mood(or mood swing in a single poem.)

Sandy said...

In the beauty of this smile, there's a crooked deception...
That is a very beautiful finish. I love how you've expressed opposing emotions in every line.
It reflects the paradox of feelings constantly at loggerheads in each one of us. They are always there, we just tend to lean towards one side or the other. The Zen concept of balance may be applied here to derive many different meanings.
Keep posting. Your writings are a pleasure to read. :)

AmitL said...

Nicely written..Keshi,what I read from these lines is- however optimistic one is, a bit of pessimism always creeps in, and vice versa...and,with good reason.It's not us, but, the external factors around us that cause this!And, need I add-it's one's own self that can make one happy or unhappy over any such events. As 'The Secret' says' Thoughts become things'!:)Have a lovely day!

aritra the daydreamer said...

hey nice one..This feelings happen with everyone...
By the ways whats ur answer of the fill in the blanks...every man has a-- and every woman has a.....
we readers answered now its ur turn...

shooting star said...

well....it seems to me love and hatred are entwined in the words...just as hope and pain are....
you seem to be in doubt.....
the most difficult thing in the world is not when others dont understand you..but when u dont understand yourself!!...
now i read that somewhere...and it is very true!!!!

Jack said...

Keshi,

The lines you penned show that each coin has two sides. Now why are you feeling so hallow? Focus on your family, work, relatives and social circle in the same order. Lay down your priorities and try to follow them. But this does not mean that you forgo your funloving side. Be yourself with confidence and follow your conscience.

Take care

Jimmy said...

Nage aaye
nanga jayenge guys

u gotta accept it
u were born alone (unless it was a twin birth)


and u will go alone
better to begin to love aloneness

aloneness dont mean lonely
says OSHO

rayshma said...

you know, kesh... no matter how genuine the intentions of friends. no matter how well they wish for you, end of the day, it's each of us to our own.
be it friends, partners, parents... i don't think anybody can be there for us the way we can be there for ourselves.

Margie said...

Make it a happy day ~
Keep any sprinkle of sadness away ~
ok!

*HUGS*

Margie

Keshi said...

ty Devika!


**My idea is don't work on useless/worthless thoughts...it happens to everyone

no thought is worthless/useless Devika. :) If u feel em, then they must hv some value/truth associated with it.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Rakesh!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Zillion!

yes we all hv 2 sides to us...positive and negative.


**We assume about people, if they hate us, or love us, but the truth is far removed

Isnt truth what one FEELS?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

And ty for the kind words abt my poem! @Zillion

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Hobo!

**Move on

does that mean forgetting it? I cant seem to tell my memory cells to forget something :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Maddy!

** We can’t enjoy and experience one of them without the other

spot on!


**Detached attachment

how does one achieve that state?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Ria!

** Hence, i never take anyone on face value

ur right...but what seems hard for me to do is to kill those erroneous first impressions.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Arv!

Im ok...it has all become a part of me. Im living with it now.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Rashmi!


**And somewhere even if we have everything and people who love us, we feel that somewhere we are alone and seperate from the others...

isnt that the epitome of life. Being Together yet alone.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Suresh!

Im being myself :) if I run away from these thoughts, then Im being someone else...isnt it?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty SMM!

Thats so true...darkness and light cannot live w.o. one another.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Tarun it isnt Shakespeare! :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Thousif ty!

:)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Maria I wish u the same, ty n HUGZ!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Akshat!

**Bitching

Im so over ppl bitching abt me LOL! Im immune to it all. There r BIGGER things in life to concentrate on :)

yep I love INXS.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Ani_aset!

**Seems like you are going through a bad phase and are looking for some hope or,
going through a really good phase and are afraid that it may not last long


isnt that what we all go thru?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Magpie how true!

Freud always amused me...at Uni, I used to focus too much on Freud's dream theory and compare it to my real life experiences...and i believe he got it all pinned down!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Jeevan!

** Sometimes pretty words fade, if they aren’t true shade.


u always amaze me with ur brilliant interpretations of my posts!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Soul! :)

I think ur right...most dormant thoughts/matters of the mind dun get attended to unless we give ourselves a break.


**A small break would you have refreshed. Though it comes at a huge price of us being left alone here.

ok Im off! ;-)


*catches a plane to Haiti*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jimmy wut does that hv to do with this post?

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Devil I hv been drunk just once...yes I blogged abt it too lol! And trust me, it wasnt PRETTY!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Arunima!

yes perhaps I need to make a decision...but making decisions and sticking to those decisions r 2 different things :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Mia!

*HUGZ* I guess so :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty KK!

ur right abt that.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Margie! :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Shachi!

yes I've been on a blogging-spree lately :)...maybe cos I feel there's so much to say but so lil time.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

yes ur right Joyce ty!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jimmy that will be in my next life ok :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

I'd prolly wear BLACK!

@Jimmy

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Altho I miss Caraf, Jan and Pithz.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Saffy!


**We just have to pay our dues in this life and hopefully, the dues don't get too long to pay off,

I agree! Life is just a temporary phenomenon.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

very true Margie!

Fakesters r a pain in the butt lol!


**God, Please deliver me from fake people!

Spot on! I wish I'd find the strength somehow.


*HUGZ* n ty!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Irshad :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Harini!

yes its very real...good/bad, sad/happy, life/death all cannot live w.o. one another.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Anuz ty!

no need to guess my mood :) as long as u u'stood the thoughts and enjoyed it, its all good hehe.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Sandy!


**They are always there, we just tend to lean towards one side or the other.

well-said there! Pendulums we r :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Amit!

yes ur right...we cannot avoid the 'other side' can we.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Aritra ty!

abt that men/women post...I wrote my own answers in the comment section of that post. Check it out :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Sushmita!


**the most difficult thing in the world is not when others dont understand you..but when u dont understand yourself

yes thats so true. And when u dunno what to do or how to do it.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Jack!

Feeling down is so human isnt it :(

ty so much for ur advice and kind words!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

I agree Jimmy...lonely and alone r 2 different things.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Raysh!

that was very well-said.


**i don't think anybody can be there for us the way we can be there for ourselves.

spot on! I guess I was feeling that all loneliness of a sudden...


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Margie! I will try ;-)

and tnxx alot for ur beautiful e-card too.

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

vishesh said...

I think you have come to terms with accepting all those things :) Everytime I write a new poem , I start a new journey :)

Keshi said...

ty Vish!

**Everytime I write a new poem , I start a new journey :)

very well-said...I love the way u put it. u nailed it.

Keshi.

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

Polarity is essentially a Western construct. A lot of these things that we only seem to see on a continuum can just as easily be seen on a circle, as integral and interrelated parts of the whole, etc.. You, Keshi, seem to be in the midst of experiencing that whole.

Keshi said...

Hart I thought so too...ty so much for ur great wisdom here!

Keshi.

Jimmy said...

I can never forget u Keshi
u taught me a lott

how to blog
and today TQMC is has a great net presence

I make money with TQMC
some day I hope to visit Sydney
and kiss u

Keshi said...

Jimmy u make money from all the 'crap' u write? lol! Who pays ya for that? Some druggy? ;-)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

btw did anyone pay u for all the abuse u write abt me ard Blogville?

Keshi.

Jimmy said...

Dummy
go here www.tqmc.com

Keshi said...

I know that blog of ur's but I didnt teach ya QM did I? :)

Keshi.

Jimmy said...

u r sadly mistaken Keshi baby
I never hurt u

Pithaly tried to plead my case
and he is gone too with Janice

Keshi said...

ok :)

Keshi.

Jimmy said...

I was one of the first guys to start business blogs

thanks to u and Caraf
Caraf tot me SEO

Keshi said...

Thats good to know Jimmy.

Im a Search Engine Optimisation specialist ;-)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

o btw where is Caraf these days?

Keshi.

Jimmy said...

Gimme more tips how to optimize TQMC site

will pay
with kisses and huggs
and more ..




kisses and huggs

Keshi said...

dream on Jimmy! :)

Keshi.

Jimmy said...

Caraf cud be up in the clouds too
but I hope not

she is up in the mountains some where the Himalayas

she never liked parties and partying
Caraf is brilliant
gave up her religion at age 13
I did that at age 56

there is more about Caraf
she learnt some hard truths at an early age

and matured into an adult much too soon

like Michael Jackson
she didnt enjoy childhood

Keshi said...

I know Caraf very well..she's one of the FIRST friends I made in Blogville...and a GENUINE one too. I know she isnt loaded with bullshit like most ppl here...she's so real. I miss her.


**she never liked parties and partying

nothing wrong with partying but I know what u mean...did u know I HATE parties too...I go cos I get invited to many lol! But I love weddings :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

btw Jimmy I might disappear just like Caraf did...wut ur gonna do then? u wont hv anyone to pick on then.

Keshi.

Jimmy said...

u know I tried making money on Google adsense

I cheated and had about 500 dollars in my account and it was growing in leaps and bounds

and the Google guys got wise
I lost my account

now I am barred for life
hihihihihi

Jimmy said...

I love funerals
funerals make me get my feet on the ground

u realize that it is a waste of life to hold grudges
envy
jealousy
ego
and ego hurt


fame and fortune too dont last
u may make the head lines in the Press for a day or two

then another guy comes along and grabs the front page

and soon u r forgotten


but u and I will never die
our blogs will live on
even after we are dead and gone

like janicemumbai.blogspot.com
the dumb girl whose only cuss word was DUMBASS

and DUMBASS again

Jimmy said...

never depend on no one for your happyness


says OSHO
u must learn to love your self
and enjoy ALONEness

Keshi said...

I agree Jimmy.

**u realize that it is a waste of life to hold grudges
envy
jealousy
ego
and ego hurt


thats very well-said! It hits u harder when u go to a funeral. I hv ppl in blogs who dun talk to me...over silly things :) I wonder how they'd feel if they were ever to visit my funeral...I hv spoken to em, but they never reply..o well. Hatred can do alot of things when ur ALIVE.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

** u must learn to love your self
and enjoy ALONEness

thats wut I do all the time anyways. I may hv a 1000 friends here but I know at the end of the day, Im all alone..and Im ok with that :)

Keshi.

- Sugar Cube - said...

Firstly I appreciate your writing skills.Those words you have penned down are great along with being meaningful.

What I make of it is that...you are talking of some sight of hope no matter how dark a phase you are going through.And again , in the happiness..you see a lot of disguise.

What happened after all the pretty words are said ? That depends on how you want things to happen.

I feel immensely lonely too after all the talk with friends is done.After I've come from a party.After I've spend a good time.Suddenly there is so much loneliness that whatever I enjoyed seems like a short b'ful dream.

Its best to maximize events that make you happy.Spend more & more time doing what you loved to do.That way there sldn't be much of a lonely phase.

And mostly..an idle mind is a devil's workshop.
Engage into something or other.Keep your mind occupied.That won't make you feel 'lost'.
I'm trying to do the same :)

Jimmy said...

LIFE, Love and Death are all to be ENJOYED

Death is a new experience, why fear DEATH

for all u know DEATH and the beyond may be more JOYful

than all u have experienced till date

DONT fear the UNKNOWN

Jimmy said...

I think I am really dying Keshi
I am loosing weight like crazy

if u wish to kiss me
do it now
before its too late


http://laludreams.blogspot.com/2009/07/old-man-saby.html

Keshi said...

Sugar ty sweetie!

I felt really good knowing that I wasnt the only one feeling this way! ur words re-assured me.

Abt making myself happy..I dun TRY to be happy...its just not me. Im happy when Im happy..Im sad when Im sad. I cant runaway from those feelings (good/bad) or try to bury them...its just me. but tnxx alot for ur advice...ur wonderful!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jimmy I dun fear Death...I actually fear humans that r alive than I fear ghosts :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jimmy/Saby etc etc how do I know if its even u?

yeah ur skinny but that doesnt mean ur dying! *rolling eyes*

Keshi.

Jimmy said...

I get it
the last time u saw me
I didnt have any clothes on


no wonder u cant recognize me

Keshi said...

Jimmy u and ur clothes.

Keshi.