Friday, July 31

Blocked Gates

I wasn't going to post again til next week cos I just posted a new post yesterday (I will reply to your comments there soon, thanks!). But I just had to write this one today...cos what happened to a young schoolgirl in a leading Girls' school in Colombo Sri Lanka, had me in total shock and in sheer disgust at the authorities and the mockery of a so-called system. I just had to share this true story with you...it may open up your hearts, make you look at your brothers/sisters/friends/children under a new shade of light, may make you understand that after all, we are all human...and imposing rules and regulations, and expecting high standards of discipline from one another need to be done in a careful, respectful and in an effective manner.


The article is
here. However, the script is in Sinhalese, therefore some of you may not be able to read the article or see her pictures. But I hope you can read the comments there - some of them are in English, and most of them are revolting! It made me very sad to realise that there are downright stupid, judgemental and heartless people out there.


I'll tell you her story first. The girl was just 14yrs old, and attended this very popular Girls' school in Colombo (some of my friends and cousins went to that same school years ago). Just last week or so, this girl had been checking some nude photos/videos on her mobile phone in her classroom. Prefects walked in and caught her checking out some porn pics. So what did the prefects and the teachers do? Made her feel extremely awful, downright dirty, scolded her and have reported her to the Principal. They also warned that her cell will go to her parents' and she will be dealt with seriously. So what did the very-scared and humiliated girl do? She said she needed to go to the toilet, but didnt come back after 20mins or so. Students went to check on her and they found her there. Not alive though. She hung herself to her death, with the aid of her school tie!


WOW clap clap clap teachers and prefects! You must be very proud of 'achieving' your alma-mater's discipline standards? Or is it that you're gonna live with extreme guilt and regret for the rest of your lives? I think the latter!


What is wrong with our society? Some comments in that article made me wanna puke! It seems most Sri Lankans are still living in total denial of what's REAL and what's NATURAL to humanbeings. Sex, Porn, Nudity etc are part of this world...and they are very real. It's not something to be ashamed of or something that should make one feel disgusted. Sure, school kids need to be monitored and disciplined...but there are respectful and effective ways of doing so. Making one feel awful, small, dirty and disrespected is surely not one of them! There were some naked pics in her cell..so what? Is Porn such a big deal that curious kids need to be made to feel so terrible for exploring what is quite natural to any pubertal humanbeing? While they need to be 'educated' about sex and sexuality, no one has the right to make another feel dirty and wrong for being experimental. I think culture plays a big part here...Sri Lankans want to preserve their 'virgin' culture more than the lives itself! Quite the sad truth there. I'm appalled at how some people said that she deserved to die and that if she lived, she'd have turned into a prostitute some day! How very ignorant and callous. I have never seen Stupidity like that before! We are all different, we all have our curiosities, we all have our ways, we all need some guidance at some stage in our lives, we all DESERVE a second chance...don't we?


What happened was a terrible mistake on behalf of the school, teachers and the prefects. But they are denying any responsibility. Not surprised there at all. I guess they just want to preserve their 'pure' image that they carried on for years even at the cost of the life of one of their own? And now the Telecom Director of Sri Lanka is banning mobile phones from ALL schools in SL! HAHA is this even a solution? A quick fix that will really fix nothing! It's all a big joke. I strongly believe it's the school's and the culture's responsibility...her death happened due to the failure of an incompetent, outdated, gullible and an irresponsible system. Education and living face to face with the Truth is the only way to instil true discipline. And there is always a WAY to get a message across to someone. That way is very important. It's got to be effective or else you better not say it at all. Any thoughts? Honest opinions please.


Don't block the view...don't put barbed-wires around Truth and Nature...don't close the doors. Let them enter...let them see for themselves...let them know what it's all about. Let them understand without any fear or guilt. Cos, when the gates get blocked, the pressure will blow them into pieces....








PS: If something/someone's bothering you, talk to someone, get help, think twice before you take drastic steps...life is much more worth living than giving into a problem or to a bunch of bullies. And there's always someone who will understand how you feel - and it doesnt always have to be your teachers, parents or even friends. To save your life or someone else's life...talk. And when you wanna help someone, talk to them in an 'effective' way. Cos you never know 'how' you say something to another would ultimately affect them. Take care people and have a good weekend!


Current Music: How To Save A Life by The Fray

116 Cranium Signets:

vishesh said...

This reminds me of the time , some of my juniors stuck porno pics in the primary bathroom...the vice principle did cream in the assembly(we were amused to see , some calling the school a brothel :P ) ..but then they called a separate meeting and talked about the sanctity of sex etc :P They didn't call it a taboo etc ..in the end I guess what they said came across well...


Anyway regarding this story...what can we do Keshi? If we have this sort of empathy we hurt ourselves for what? No one will understand these things..all we can do is help people who need help...

Tarun said...

Thank good ness no one ever checked my Inboxs and phones.
Or else they would kill me 20 times.

♥ÐÅyÐяєÅмє®♥ said...

though i deeply grief the death of the girl...I really can't blame the prefect for that...
she was just 14 and checking nude pics ain't a crime..I used to do it much before...but it isn't socially acceptable for a kid to roam with pornography...so prefect was in right in that...
only problem is that rather than raising a hue n cry...school needed to have a social counselor to deal such teenage curiosity with diligence ...but not every school in third world can afford one...


I am not gonna read the article...as I don't wanna read shits about a dead kid ....

♪♪HARINI♪♪ said...

oh you have no idea how bad the situation is... in our schools, mobile phones are banned in the first place, parents dont talk to the child properly, so however much some teachers try, it doesnt help much..

but there are also some teachers who cant deal with it at all!! last year in school, we were 10 boys and 3 girls in our class... one teacher happened to come and tell me " harini try to stay more with the girls than with the boys. do you want the principal to hear of this??"
here, even thinking of yourself naked is a crime and if anyone did anything of the sort the girl did, they would get into the same amount of trouble.. the principal understands that its normal and that they have to be guided and all that, but they cant handle it that well.. in classes 6& 7 and all the lower classes where the kids start learning the reproductive system laughing or smiling is a huggge crime..

however most teachers are slowly understanding this and are doing a pretty good job.
but i think its the parents who should be blamed. yesterday, i asked my mom if i could go to the movies with my classmates- 4 boys and no girls. she said no and said unless at least one girl comes along i cant let you go!!!!

now if you stop your kids from getting friendly with kids of the opposite sex, where would the equality in their work place come into picture? how could wives expect their husbands to treat them well?

the whole system is so pissing off that i feel like moving to another country altogether, maybe thats why so many ppl are moving to the us

Vinz aka Vinu said...

thts bad...

bt the sad part is the world will never change...be it Sri Lanka, India or anywhere...

i recently read somewhere on these lines happened in so called developed nation America also..

Damn these guys..!!

Keshi said...

ty Vish!

**but then they called a separate meeting and talked about the sanctity of sex etc :P They didn't call it a taboo etc ..in the end I guess what they said came across well...

Thats called 'effective' speech and thats exactly what I meant by this post. Good on them!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Tarun its not even abt that...its just our attitude to life n others. Why do we see sex as such a punishable thing?

Kids need to be guided, not made to feel horrible for being themselves.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Bro!


**she was just 14 and checking nude pics ain't a crime..I used to do it much before...but it isn't socially acceptable for a kid to roam with pornography...so prefect was in right in that...

I agree that but the Prefects were wrong in making her feel so upset abt it!



**school needed to have a social counselor to deal such teenage curiosity with diligence ...but not every school in third world can afford one...

thats true but this isnt a village school. This is one of the oldest and best Girls' schools in Colombo!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Harini ty for being so honest and sharing ur experiences with us!


**harini try to stay more with the girls than with the boys. do you want the principal to hear of this??"

thats actually dividing gap between males n females more n more! It's ridiculous.



**now if you stop your kids from getting friendly with kids of the opposite sex, where would the equality in their work place come into picture? how could wives expect their husbands to treat them well?

a very good point raised there! This is a problem in most 3rd world countries. Girls n boys r brought up to believe that its taboo to associate one another and so when they grow up, they r so disconnected and feel strange with one another...even at work, and at home as husbands and wives.


Culture shouldnt mean making men n women alienate from one another. It's such a stupid thing to do.


Keshi.

иidhi S said...

You know, this is what I hate abt our societies, the double standards. In the name of Saving you culture, you go on instilling pain and terror to their very own, we in India too have such political groups, who keep on doing shit stuff, in the name of saving "their" culture. I doubt they even have a hang abt the culture they are on a killing spree for. Ass@#$%... b@#$%#$...
I really am shocked and sad abt what happened to the girl. This situation might have been dealt with, in a well matured way.
She was just, 14, a teenager, who was just doing what normal teenagers do around the world. Her fault was may be just that she was a girl born in a country where people pet double standards abt their cultures. Since the day a girl is born, she is put under tremendous pressure of the society.

I pray, the world become more sane.

Keshi said...

Vinu I agree it happens everywhere but things like this happen very often in countries like SL and India. Sadly. Cos ppl r ashamed of sex and the attraction between a male and female. When in real, they are a natural part of life.

Open education is the key. But even schools and the govts seem to be ashamed of all that!

Keshi.

Mirage said...

Gosh that was really sad... I don't wanna sound sexist, but dyu think the teachers, prefects, etc would've done the same if it were a boy looking at porn? Or would he have been excused? Just a thought...

Arv said...

jerks...

their idea of discipline cant be any worse...

I agree with you mate... watching mature content is not illegal as long as you meet the legal age limit.

though in her case it was not right, the teachers and so called educators should know better to impart discipline in a better way...

what these people did was atrocious...

people ought to know things better... sex is a part of us.. no different from eating or sleeping... as long we dont offend others by viewing or performing it, there aint anything illegal or immoral about it...

Keshi said...

ty Nidhi!

**Saving you culture, you go on instilling pain and terror to their very own

yes I wonder what they r trying to save so much when there's so much resistance! If there's resistance that means something is not right. Dun they get it?

This girl was a victim of a stupid system that is of no use to anyone. And it should never hv happened.

I know that India is the same when it comes to issues like this. I read in Rakesh's blog how those politicians r going on and on abt a reality show...dun thy hv better things to worry abt India?


Keshi.

Rakesh Vanamali said...

All said and done, blocked gates are fun to jump over!

Tarun said...

Yes it was insane to handle kids in that way.

Ot would be interesting to know,what would they have done if the little kid was one of the teachers or principal own daughter/relative?

Keshi said...

hey Mirage :)

**but dyu think the teachers, prefects, etc would've done the same if it were a boy looking at porn? Or would he have been excused?

good qn. Im not entirely sure how they wud hv handled it, but this is a popular school in Colombo. Thats what shocks me even more. Its not a village school or something. The teachers here should know responsible ways of communicating with their students in a situation like this, instead of acting like neanderthals!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Arv I agree she was misbehaving during class, but like u said, no one has the right to make her feel so small and dirty. The teachers should hv known better. And this is a school in Colombo, not in the Middle East!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Rakesh but not all those who jump the gates fall on to the other side safely. Like this girl. Sadly!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Tarun there's no 2 qns abt that!


**would be interesting to know,what would they have done if the little kid was one of the teachers or principal own daughter/relative?

I know SL very well. They wud hv EXCUSED her and given her special treatment!!!


Keshi.

Tarun said...

In between hows the little kid whom u have sponsored is doing?
Do u write to him regularly?

Chriz said...

sad end to that girl in the loo.. sometimes oldies dont take proper decision.. they try to be smart donkeys..

a careful , calm approach can soothe matters really..
singalese looks good.. i dint understand though.. liked the script

Devika said...

School is anyway not the place, but sadly it often is...and so such things happen...if you come to know the stories in this country, it isn't any better,

a school has to have its needed discipline - i don't blame them.....but they could have treated the child with care,

wishes,
devika

Keshi said...

Tarun he's good :) Im gonna write to him again this wknd...I wanna send something special for his bday in Dec.

tnxx for thinking of him!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Chriz!

**sometimes oldies dont take proper decision.. they try to be smart donkeys..

spot on! Some oldies r nothing more than a bunch of bullies.



**a careful , calm approach can soothe matters really..

Thats exactly what I meant by an 'effective' method of action. Nothing good can be achieved by terror, fear or scorn! It will all be useless.

u like Sinhalese? Cool! :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Devika!

yes even though school is a place of great discipline, thats where most things happen...u said it the best. Cos school is made of KIDS...young adults learning abt life and the world. And they r prone to make alot of mistakes.


And like u said, teachers should know better than to make them feel guilty and ashamed. Discipline doesnt hv to cost a life!


Keshi.

Ria said...

Thats the sad truth in places like SL as well as India. People live in denial....and talk such stupid things! How can somebody pass a judgement on somebody's character! For heaven's sake she's dead now, and ppl still can't stop spewing venom...what had she done to them! Was she their daughter, sister, friend!? Ask her parents what they r going thru. They must have been made to feel so guilty that i wonder if they will be able to survive the ordeal.

I don't get it as to what do ppl get by creating a huge hue and cry over matters which can be sorted amicably, without any publicity!
I want to ask the authorities what did they achieve by leading that girl to suicide?? Are they under the impression that no teenager will want to know abt sex or nudity!? Thats ridiculous!!

Let me tell u abt a similar thing in India, the health minister has said that the best way to curb the population of India is to distribute televisions in the rural areas. The pretext being that, the young couples in rural India wud stay busy with tv at night, which wud in turn act as a distraction...resulting in lesser sex!! Can u believe it! this kinda statement being made by a Health minister....i m sure u got my point! If there r such ppl in the system, how can u expect the country to progress!!

Thats what i keep telling people around that a country doesnt prosper only when infrastructural changes happen!!for real progress to happen, mentalities need to change. We need to progress mentally!!Only then can we claim that India is progressing!!

I am apalled by this incident!

Thousif Raza M.B said...

You know keshi its not just in sri lanka, its even worser in india

i mean what do people think while acting like this???

i totally agree the girl was none at fault, its natural,
if they had just took her to counselor, it would have been far better, at least an innocent life woudldnt have been erased

you know govt are always like this they think banning mobile phones and with things like that, kids will never attempt anything,

and whats more disgusting is authorities acting as they are not to blame, what sickos yaar, shit

and people talking abt that poor lil kid, sheesh, even if these people have hundreds of ugly truth hidden among them, they point fingers at others and become holy souls what crap.....

i honestly agree with the P.S talking helps, its the most effective way to solve any problem, its makes you feel better every time you share a problem which you cannot solve

brilliantly written and i just cannot imagine the situation the parents are into at this time, may god help them and give them peace......

take care and keep writing.......

Devika said...

definitely Keshi...and know what its often after a suicide that school authorities come to think of compassionate ways of dealing with children

Here in Delhi, teachers are even guilty of throwing chalk pieces on the eyes of students..leading a child to lose sight, one was made to stand with bricks on her back as punishment outside the classroom....and eventually the child died,

its only when the news is out, the school authorities come to accept it and improve....

devika

Swetha Padakandla said...

:( very sad!
scolding is not the means of communication with the children!

children have sensitive minds and perfect or teachers could have explained it in a good way rather than scolding like that!

sad to know about this!

Keshi said...

Ria I applaud ur comments on this! Very well-said! Exactly my sentiments and there's no need to say, we both SEE it very clearly..whats happening behind all those fucked-up systems.


**How can somebody pass a judgement on somebody's character! For heaven's sake she's dead now

Spot on! I was thinking the same. It's so sad that someone who did no harm to anyone gets talked abt like that in a public forum, and she's not even alive to defend herself! it made me very sad to read those comments. It was as if either they were not human or that I wasnt one.


**They must have been made to feel so guilty that i wonder if they will be able to survive the ordeal.

only they wud know HOW it feels now. None of these losers in forums wud hv a clue! And like u said, this cud hv been anyone's sis, cuz, friend or daughter.



**I want to ask the authorities what did they achieve by leading that girl to suicide?? Are they under the impression that no teenager will want to know abt sex or nudity!? Thats ridiculous!!

bravo! Exactly wut I want to ask them too. This girl is not a machine...she's human and a teenager. Obviously she'd hv been curious abt sex. If she didnt, then she cudnt hv been human!



**The pretext being that, the young couples in rural India wud stay busy with tv at night, which wud in turn act as a distraction...resulting in lesser sex!!

HAHAHA u r kidding me right!!! And that was the 'Health' Minister saying that? LMAO I cant stop laffing!

What r they trying to do? Make the whole country hv an erectile dysfunction? Then they should contact God to redesign the human reproductive system.


**for real progress to happen, mentalities need to change. We need to progress mentally

ur spot on again! Thats what I keep saying too...but u wudnt believe it even some so-called educated Indians and Sri Lankans wudnt stop to think abt it, cos they r too drunk in their big fat culturally driven Ego!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Thousif!

u r so right. Counseling wud hv really helped her...not scolding!


**and whats more disgusting is authorities acting as they are not to blame

It annoys me and makes me wonder how these ppl run a whole country!


**you know govt are always like this they think banning mobile phones and with things like that, kids will never attempt anything

And its not gonna even solve anything. It will only make the kids more curious and prone to more misbehavior. This is like treating the symptoms and not the cause.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Devika thats so v sad! I cant believe that happened in a school OMG. Didnt someone end up going to Jail?

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Swetha!

**scolding is not the means of communication with the children!

spot on! Scolding and making ppl feel small r def not ways to get a msg across 'effectively'. Thru Fear and Guilt, nothing can be achieved.



Keshi.

Devika said...

The first was suspended from school...the second, case is still going on,

wishes,
devika

Keshi said...

oh ok Devika. btw r ya a teacher?

Keshi.

Devika said...

Not in any school..i teach undergraduates at home...a kind of private tuition, a pass time...

I am an civil engineer and a lawyer by professional qualification...but not practicing either...some consultancy i do offer, though in both :)

wishes,
devika

!Teq-uila Del Zapata said...

wat a pity.
Well such culture sooner or later are going to get changed and if not they tend to decline.
At my age also, its a taboo in our perfectly modern society to talk abt sex, I cant do that on an open medium, people think i am uncivilized or "american", LOL at that.
Kids like these are exteremly innocent of their action. you see this is all result of falsery like schools image and parent's image and culture's image, they tend to be bigger than lives of people.

AmitL said...

Arghh!What a disaster-it's too late to do anything but feel sorry for the poor girl and may her soul rest in peace.
---
There needs to be some action taken against schools that do such drastic things as threatening students,beating them,et al..for God's sake,we're not in the dark ages any more,are we? I read the same kind of news in Indian papers too-people being paraded naked on the roads for some minor offence,kids being buried upto their heads on the solar eclipse day,for good luck(Whose,heaven knows),et al...and,then we crib about racism and racist attacks in other countries!

Jeevan said...

You’re right, a balloon could bear only certain air and if we blow more it would burst. people have to understand that what we’re going through have been gone by them in past and what they could have been left is similarly ours. I believe whatever the ill one does; death is not the only solution, realization makes a person well being.

Instead of being strictness, parents and teachers are just penalizing students without realizing. There’re many students being unaware about the changes in there mind and body at adolescent age struggles a lot what they feel is right or wrong. I strongly support the education about adolescence and sex at schools and collages, and indeed there’s a need of teachers to be trained how to handle this subjects.

The universities just says we don’t allow cell phones inside campus, sounds me they only bother about being good in campus and don’t care whatever there practice ill or set path to ruin. Sad end for that girl!

- Sugar Cube - said...

Some people are so backward about coming forward.

Its pathetic she had to kill herself.I read the comments on that article.It stunned me to read what ppl have said.
I mean...really..the girl was just watching porn.. its not like she was caught having sex with a guy from her school!
Jeez! You know if something like this were to happen in India..they'd make a fuss bout it too.

Every country has gotta come out open bout sex.It natural for all young adults to know of it..& the fact is the more these ppl try to curb the freedom on it..the more adolescent ones are attracted towards these things.

I feel bad for the girl.It must be a huge loss to her family..but the way ppl are passing remarks is like adding salt to wound.

Sandy said...

Children today are more on their own than ever. They do not know who to turn to in times of need. Parents and schools are so into turning out 'good' citizens that they completely ignore the child's needs.
The society is so full of shitheads who think they can dictate what everyone should and should not do.
The purpose of society should be to make everyone feel accepted but instead it now serves to chain people up into preconceived and outdated frames of 'good values'.
In this particular case the poor girl should have received counseling and guidance, not threats. It is a shame that sex is associated with negative values like sin and impurity. It just makes me sad.

Donn said...

That is deeply disturbing.
Here in Canada we recently had an egregiously misnomered Honour Killing involving 3 murdered daughters who "disgraced his family" thanks to some f*cking idiot who moved here from the Middle East and forgot to leave the 7th f*cking century at the border...F*CK YOU ASSHOLE!!!

*deep breath

The solution to many of our cultural idiosyncracies is to thoroughly rid the world of all religio-male domination...it's completely un-natural since all vertebrates are formed as default females.

Therefore I summise that our world will never EVER be in sync unless/until females are guiding the state of affairs. We've let the males do it for a few hundred thousand years and where did that get us..exactly.

I for one am willing to lead a more natural life that would focus on communication and caring as opposed to fear and intimidation.

If women ruled the world would we be wasting Trillion$ on weapons? No.
Shoes? maybe? but not weapons!

Anitha said...

Very true :)

Phoenix said...

its really shameful the way people deal with issues without first thinking it out and then approaching the subject with warmth and understanding...

we as future parents and elders must take into notice these incidents and make sure we dont commit same follies

usha said...

my good God!

u know what, i guess they should be taught at these teacher's training institutes, on how to deal with situations like this.

in fact i guess they need to be taught a lot many more things.

but i only hope they were more sensitive and sensible human beings, to start with. really.

Jack said...

Keshi,

I really feel so sad for the unfortunate girl. I fully agree with you. We need more human approach and let the children grow up with care and proper guidenance but not humiliation.

I will write on previous post soon.

Take care

Margie said...

Oh Keshi, this is just too heartbreaking!
That poor dear girl!
I don't think I can read the article.

TC dear, and have a happy weekend!

Margie

rayshma said...

that's truly appalling. and it bothers me. but it doesn't surprise me.
yes, ppl do have closed minds. educated people, at that too. why just the teachers, a lot of the parents treat subjects like sex as taboo and dirty. which is what leads kids to feel guilty about their actions.
sri lanka, india... even in the US, where society is a lot more open about sex - here also there exist parents who don't deem it necessary to communicate with their children about the changes they will go through and how they should handle them.

it's really sad. and i can only hope that we, as parents someday, will be able to help lower such cases.

Priya Joyce said...

wat happened to the girl is reely reely sad..but there's another aspect to this..that is the failure of parents or teachers to maintain a relationship with children that is neither very strict not very lenient giving them the freedom they require but also keeping a close watch on thier activities..
And moreover..many teachers and parents do not agree with the psychological aspect..
i remembr one teacher saying that these dys kids have become so weak in mind that they commit suicide if someone scolds them....n that's what many people think...
actually speaking they need to change this belief of theirs..and rather help the child to grow in all aspects n decide wat is right and wrong...

tats it..

:)
tc

Reality Check said...

That scared the shit out of me.. ooops sorry!! but that made me so sad to think that everyone is so judgmental..

question that pops in my head is if it is ever going to end.. that girl had to loose her life and still it is not going to end..

Ne

Jimmy said...

it happens all the time in INDIA too Keshi

INDIA was once free from prudery
we gave the World the first SEX Manual and KHAJURAHO and we had wonderful institutions like DEVADASIs


but the INDIA of today SUXS

Dowry and bride burning
child marriages
child rapists


I wonder why my cuntry men say MERA DESH MAHAN

Jimmy said...

but we cant change the World Keshi
we can only change our selves


be the change u want to see
said MK Gandhi

comfortably numb said...

we pretend everything is great and hunky dory, we r on the path to modern society n et all and then quite frequently, such an incident comes and smacks us in the face and we are forced to see the reality...sad:(

ANWESA said...

its a real unfortunate event. she ended her life for a silly reason. i just cant imagine how much trauma had she bore before taking such an extreme step.

i think u can never get rid of "vices" just by stopping the causal elements. it needs strength of mind.if u really wanna stop kids from watching porn,etc. the best way to make it happen is-FACE THE TEMPTATION.if d child has a certain strength of mind,he/she'll surely adhere to the right path.
u cant force young ppl,u need 2 understand dem....

ani_aset said...

the way they handled it in my school was i guess the ideal thing to do..knowing the importance of sex ed, they actually had counsellors come over to school and speak directly to students. We were made to play games and accept the differences of opposite sex. I till date thank the lady who went through the pains of answering some very difficult questions our parents would never like to face.

what happened with the girl is rally sad, things seem pretty much same in srilanka as they are in india. Living in denial mode.

Suresh Kumar said...

I read this post earlier but was a bit disturbed.

The behavior of the so called teachers who r required to show the right path is unthinkable. It seems they have made her feel very guilty. They had killed her mentally and she completed the physical part..

The excitement and curiosity to know these things is very natural in that age.
Its horrible thing for the seniors to do....

Jimmy said...

a woman wants out



Judy has been abused by her husband for years and is now trying to finally move on. But when he shows up again Judy must figure out with the help of her freinds how to rid him from her life once and for all and how to begin coping.

Judy Bently has been abused by her husband for years and every time she thinks he's gone for good he keeps creeping back into her life, tormenting her until she is nothing but an empty shell. But when he disappears for a long period of time after leaving her lyiing on the bedroom floor with several injuries she begins to wonder if he'll leave her alone for good.

With the help of her best friends Dora and Karen Judy slowly starts to piece her life back together, finally enrolling in a program to help and ensure the safety of women who have been abused. Feeling bruised and alone, Judy begins the healing process, while at the same time dealing with being pregnant and the fears of single motherhood. For the first tme in a long time she feels in control. Like everything is going right.

But when her husband shows up again after six months Judy is now afraid for her life. Can she fight him off once and for all or will she once again be sucked into the prison she'd tried so hard to escape from?



-stolen from DIAMOMDS (Diva4uall)

Jimmy said...

a TRUE STORY written by a VICTIM



Battered Nightmares

Author: DIAMONDS
LAURA EGGEBRECHT


Looking Back To The Past ... I Vision You ...
My Heart Belonged To Only You. My Love,
I Felt It Deep Within ... My Memories ...
There So Clear As If A Looking Glass .. Of My Todays .

While I Loved You ... I Gave You My Heart
You Pulled Me By My Hair , Threw Me Up
Against A Wall , Back Handed Me , And
Disrespected Me In Every Way ... Many Tears
Upon My Eyes Rolled Down My Face .

Many Prayers Were Said While I Took
Your Many Beatings ... In My Mind Over & Over Again
I Asked .. God To ForGive You ..
For You Knew Not What You Do ...
Many Times , Many Tears Like A Water Fall .

The More I Tried To Love You ... The More
You Beat Me , Kept Me From Family & Friends .
While I Around You ... You Kept Me Shakin Within .
My Life , Confused & Me So Scared ,
My Only Out .. Is , A Womens Shelter
For Battered Women ... And A Restaining Order

And Yet Scared For My Life ...
With Memorys Of .. My Battered Nightmares

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

Brow-beating people into submission NEVER works. The sooner a society realizes that, the better off we're all going to be.

Jimmy said...

I have a BAD problem
I am bipolar
drink triggers it


drink is poison for bipolar guys
so I joined Alcholics Annonymouses


my first AA meeting today
I an a big PROBLEM

some of these guys wanted to have a drink with me

Talking To My Soul said...

Tragic. The way the young girl was dealt with. I guess the school could have been a little more careful and responsible in handling. The teachers should not have left the girl alone.


However, I dont disagree with the idea of banning cellphones in the schools. Not just for porn or anything. Dont you think the child deserves quality time with friends rather than fiddling with a gadget? Machines make us more and more aloof to human beings, mind you. One of the biggest negatives of technology is that alienation.

My prayers for the kid's family.

*smilez*

Jimmy said...

HAPPY FRIEND SHIP Day Keshi

Jimmy said...

oooooppps wrong SHIP
we are on a different cruise

HAPPY LOVERS day Keshi baby

iriz said...

this is shocking. such life is too much as a trade for prejudgment.

those people who gave her a provocative remarks to end her life has minds as tiny as a mind of a cockroach. or maybe i should not describe it that way, i should give respect to cockroaches.

i felt you. i feel it too.

moi said...

oh this is a very sad incident, i think our society needs to be more aware of such situation and should handle it more carefully. Sex is a taboo word around, and it gets misunderstood in a lot other ways.

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

it was sad that she took an extreme step.
yes, i do believe that keeping a *moral* veil over issues furthur aggravates them and that the curiosity about *sex* and alike leads many students to visit porn sites.

However I do think that we must also develop some strength in ourselves to face the world, even the best of people can give in to bouts of anger when they see someone else *flouting the rules*.
suicide is never an option, I'm sorry if I come across as rude or heartless, but I do feel sorry for those who loved the girl, that they too had to suffer her death.


-though not the right occasion but-'happy friendship day'

Margie said...

Keshi, I read some of the comments ppl wrote in response to the article & yes, you are right!
There are many judgemental & heartless ppl out there!

Oh, this is just too darn sad!
Must go now & listen to some good music to take my mind of this whole matter.

How was your weekend?
Mine was quiet but very nice!
My daughter is home now from her honeymoon & I'm so glad!
I missed her so much!
Now, if she can just find the time to call her mumsy, I'll be truly happy! LOL!

TC, hun!

*HUGS*
Have a good day!
I know it's Mon. there...SIGH!

Margie

Keshi said...

Devika ur an all-rounder WOW! :)

Good on ya.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

well-said Anuz!

ppl seem to be crazy abt false Images/Cultures that they try to preserve even at the risk of losing lives!


**At my age also, its a taboo in our perfectly modern society to talk abt sex, I cant do that on an open medium, people think i am uncivilized or "american",

then u should tell them that SEX is not American...its HUMAN.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Amit!

**I read the same kind of news in Indian papers too-people being paraded naked on the roads for some minor offence,kids being buried upto their heads on the solar eclipse day,for good luck(Whose,heaven knows),et al...and,then we crib about racism and racist attacks in other countries!


HAHAHAHA very well-said there!!! Amen to that!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Jeevan!


**. I strongly support the education about adolescence and sex at schools and collages, and indeed there’s a need of teachers to be trained how to handle this subjects.

I agree totally.

Both TEACHERS and students need to be educated abt SEX I guess! It seems even adults r fearing and denying that Sex is a part of life.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Sugar!

yes ur absolutely right. ppl seem to be making themselves blind to REALITY on purpose. what a sad world we live in.

And it didnt hv to take a death for that to be realised!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Sandy!

ur right abt the Society being full of shitheads!


** It is a shame that sex is associated with negative values like sin and impurity.

very true. I wonder what the stigma is abt when these same ppl cudnt hv been born w.o. SEX!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Donno!

I rem her story..I think I even blogged abt it bak then.


**thanks to some f*cking idiot who moved here from the Middle East and forgot to leave the 7th f*cking century at the border...F*CK YOU ASSHOLE!!!


LOL HAHAHAHA! I so know what u mean. The demented brain of that guy needs to be paraded on DUMBASS day.


If women ruled the world...hmmm not sure what it wud be like, altho I believe there r extremely dumb and self-righteous women too. Dumbness is gender-free. lol!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Anitha!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Raka!

**its really shameful the way people deal with issues without first thinking it out and then approaching the subject with warmth and understanding...



I agree totally. why cant we as intelligent HUMANS think BEFORE we act and hv to regret! It beats me u know...it makes me sick!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Usha!

** i guess they should be taught at these teacher's training institutes, on how to deal with situations like this.


Well-said! The teachers in SL seem to be just passing exams to get a job, but not realising that they hv a bigger responsibility than just teaching...they hv to deal with KIDS - growing young adults that need alot of psychological guidance too.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Jack!


**We need more human approach and let the children grow up with care and proper guidenance but not humiliation

Agree totally. Only thing is that most humans seem to forget that often!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Margie yes it upset me alot. Tho its an isolated case, it's a very big deal and ppl must not forget abt that poor girl and the unfair treatment she received by the very ppl she trusted - HER TEACHERS.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Raysh!


**here also there exist parents who don't deem it necessary to communicate with their children about the changes they will go through and how they should handle them.


I wonder why most parents/adults from countries like Indian n SL r AFRAID and ASHAMED of sex.

Im no Westerner, I come from a conservative SL family with parents I could say were quite strict...but I turned out well cos in school we were taught abt Sex...we were educated abt it. And even at home, I rem my mum told us everything abt sex and virginity etc when were just 12 or something...she told us abt the world and life, and how we hv to be responsible for ourselves. Yes my parents were strict but they were never unreasonable. They always made room for us to grow independently and to think liberally. I thank them for that, always!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Joyce!

**And moreover..many teachers and parents do not agree with the psychological aspect..

I agree. They act as if there's no psychological aspect to a human!



**i remembr one teacher saying that these dys kids have become so weak in mind that they commit suicide if someone scolds them....n that's what many people think

Thats very narrowminded and gullible to say such a thing abt Suicide. The mind can be weak/strong and it all depends on the individual. But to judge them as weak is so very unfair and super dumb I must say!


The teachers need Education on Psychology. Big time!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty RC!

yes ur right....is it ever going to END, is my qn too!

Keshi.

Jimmy said...

I understand how MARGIE feels
like Margie I am a believer in MAN and the human race


but the press just wants to sell NEWS
so they published STORIES of poor Michael Jackson

the guy was human with HUMAN follies
his face was burnt so he attempted to a get new FACE

he loved kids and he slept with then in bed like I do with my kids


but some guys have a dirty mind
but there was soo much GOOD in Machael Jackson

his performances for CHARITY

We are the WORLD

Keshi said...

ty Jimmy!

I agree...all those ppl who boast abt culture and protecting it at the risk of hurting ppl, r massive hypocrits.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty CN!

I agree. but its not even abt 'modern' society. Its abt the mental GAP between children n parents/teachers. We dun go to school just to learn Math, Science etc...we also go to develop personally. Alot of teachers and parents forget that.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Anwesa!

** she ended her life for a silly reason. i just cant imagine how much trauma had she bore before taking such an extreme step.

I can only imagine the humiliation she must hv had to deal with infront of other students n teachers!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Ani_aset!

**they actually had counsellors come over to school and speak directly to students. We were made to play games and accept the differences of opposite sex.

we had the same kinda of Sex ed in school. And im sure that helped most of us to come face to face with it all w.o. feeling scared or guilty.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Suresh!

**They had killed her mentally and she completed the physical part..

spot on! Sometimes the mental pain can be so much that u cant seem to live anymore. ppl need to u'stand that w.o. calling her weak etc.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Jimmy!

Alot of women live like that...in fear and in denial. Just to save the Marriage! I say get out ASAP.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Hart!

**Brow-beating people into submission NEVER works.

Spot on there! For something to work, it needs to be driven with acceptance and appreciation...not with fear n guilt.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jimmy we all r bipolar!

Keshi.

Jimmy said...

OSHO had appealed to the MEDIA
dont SENSATIONALIZE the EVIL in this WORLD

there is a lotta good people too
who do GOOD but we dont hear about it in the PRESS


like an upcoming badminton player in INDIA

who tunmed down a promotion for COKE coz he truly believed that SOFT DRINKS have no nutritional value and they are damaging to the health


drink fresh fruit juice he said
even NIMBU PANI is good for the health and it costs only Rs 3/-

Keshi said...

ty Soul!

**However, I dont disagree with the idea of banning cellphones in the schools. Not just for porn or anything. Dont you think the child deserves quality time with friends rather than fiddling with a gadget? Machines make us more and more aloof to human beings, mind you. One of the biggest negatives of technology is that alienation.


Somehow I disagree :) We r in the Technology era and mobile phones r so 15th century now. We cannot look at technology as a threat cos we r already there, and to ban it now is like going back to stoneage. The problem isnt with technology...it is with the PEOPLE.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Happy friendship day to ya too Jimmy.

lovers? lol!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Iriz!

**those people who gave her a provocative remarks to end her life has minds as tiny as a mind of a cockroach. or maybe i should not describe it that way, i should give respect to cockroaches.

LOL yes!


small minds r a many these days!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Moi!


**Sex is a taboo word around, and it gets misunderstood in a lot other ways

yes and the reason is alot ppl live in denial.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Truthful and hey Happy friendship day to u too! *HUGZ* :)


**suicide is never an option

Agreed but we r talking abt a 14yr old child here, not an adult who can think clearly abt this situation n take the right steps. To u'stand abt Suicide or making the mind stronger, the girl needed to hv been handled in the right manner in the first place. Certainly not by making her feel awful. we cannot judge her actions from an adult's point of view...she's a minor and was under the care of her teachers at the time this happened.



Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Margie how nice! Enjoy ur time with ur daughter :) Im sure she'll find some time to call ya soon...when her guy's in the shower or something. lol!


I had a good weekend...a relaxed one this time. How abt u? :)

And yes, this story had me in despair for awhile...

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jimmy I say we need to KNOW abt both good AND bad. Or else the world be living in denial again.

Keshi.

!Teq-uila Del Zapata said...

I really dont think they are that mature. If they were, they wouldn't be required to be told that thing in the first place.

Margie said...

Going to bed now, Keshi.
Just came by to see if you had a new post up.
Will check on you tomorrow.

Nitey nite.
Have I told you lately how very glad I am to know you?
You are a very special friend!

TC

*HUGS*

Margie

Silvara said...

What the fuck?

Are you serious? I swear people are really are fucked up.

It's going to take a bloody long time before people's mentality starts to change - there is good and bad in everything but this was no way to deal with it.

Until people start realising what a big mistake they are making - more and more children like her will die.

Jimmy said...

very special friend = lover

Jimmy said...

Have I told you lately how very glad I am to know you carnally?
You are a very special friend!

White Magpie said...

Shit!! Recycling again and again. It will be eons when people stop thinking of sex as taboo just because they are not getting any. Or just repeating what they learnt from their parents, teachers, the education system. I dont blame the prefects. In all probability, they are the victims of what they have been taught. Its the elders and the whole system that should undergo a change in their mental thought. One of not putting across anything unjustly as taboo and second of making the mental base of kids so strong that they will trust to talk to someone if they are not capable of handling any incident.

Adisha said...

So horrific !! It's sad that the poor girl didn't really know how easy it is to solve half problems just by talking to someone, rather than ending what she has for what may or may not happen !! Sigh !!

Shachi said...

This is a sad sad story - I echo your feelings Keshi!!!!

I can write pages on this topic coz I'm so sensitive to it....but to keep it short, sex education by teachers and parents is key....and porn is not always bad.

Talking for me is therapy - whether its in person, on phone, email, chat, or in the blog world. It releases my stress and makes me free. So everyone should do that coz it helps a lot.

Keshi said...

true Anuz.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty so much Margie, u always make me feel appreciated. ur an angel for sure!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Silvara tnxx!

**It's going to take a bloody long time before people's mentality starts to change

I personally think such mentalities arent going to change, sadly.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jimmy urrrrrrg!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Magpie!

yes ur right...the prefects were also being taught by dumb adults.


**One of not putting across anything unjustly as taboo and second of making the mental base of kids so strong that they will trust to talk to someone if they are not capable of handling any incident.

very wellsaid there!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

true Adisha, its so sad she never got that chance.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Shachi!

**Talking for me is therapy - whether its in person, on phone, email, chat, or in the blog world

agree totally. Expressing is Therapy in many ways.

I think thats why we all love blogs so much too :)

Keshi.

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