Sunday, December 17

The Storm

Have you ever had a storm rip your heart out and take away with it everything that you've ever had? Have you ever lost everything you ever worked and lived for? Do you know what it is to lose all your dreams overnight? Have you ever felt so lost and destitute that you feel you'll never come out of it alive? Have you watched your dreams break into pieces and realised you still can't do anything about it? Have you lost your self completely that you begin to miss what you were before? Did someone ever steal your life that it seems it doesn't belong to you anymore? Did the storm leave you naked and in tears? Have you ever had someone laugh at your feelings as if you were nothing? Did you ever feel so hurt that there were no words to express it? Did you feel muted by that hurt itself? Have someone close to you ever made you feel that you are less important than the rest of the world? Did someone ever disgrace you infront of others that you just wanted to die? Did the whole world laugh at you along with him/her? Did you ever feel so misunderstood that you feel silence is better than saying anything at all? Have you just wondered what your life would have been if not for the storm? The storm that changed you forever. The storm that took with it everything that belonged to you. The storm that washed away your life and left you with nothing but a memory of someone who used to be. Have you ever watched your life just pass you by? Have you ever lost everything? I can't seem to begin again.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I had a terrible Sunday. This post came out of that experience. I have no words to express how lost I'm feeling right now, so please bear with this very personal post that may not make sense to you. Some people have no aim in life but to revel at the hurt and tears of others. I can't believe this is happening to me but who am I to question ha? I'm just another being in this big wide world who is subjected to hurt every single day. It happens to everyone and I'm no exception, so I'm not gonna ask WHY ME. The part that's unbearable is when it's someone who's very close to you that does this to you. Well maybe I'm ill-fated to be affected by someone like that, who knows. But I won't say I'll get used to it either cos I can't and I won't allow anyone to dampen my spirits. Whoever I have become from it all, I know it's a better person - a person with more sensitivity towards others' feelings. When you lose everything, in a way you become completely free. Cos after the storm everything is washed away. You have nothing more to lose.

Right now I had no one to talk to when I was truly broken. I just cancelled a bday party I was invited to while the person who hurt me went ahead (and it was my good friend's party so I felt bad not being able to be there...but she understood my feelings so it's ok). Anyways I wanted to talk to someone and there was no one around...except one good friend who was also on her way to a meeting, so I couldn't trouble her for too long with my probs. Called 2 other mates and they were not available either. Isn't it strange that sometimes when you need a friend, there's not a single one around? Well I felt like that today. Then I thought of all of you and I logged in and wrote this. I really am very thankful for blogs, cos if not for blogs, I'd be long gone by now. You guys are the best, so incase I never get to tell ya here's a big THANK YOU for always being here for me! For those people in my life who don't wanna hear what I have to say too, this blog will remain for them to read someday when they are ready to hear how I felt, and then it may well be too late to say sorry (Life is only a passing flash...say your dues without delay). But with you guys, I don't feel lonely anymore no matter what. Hail, rain or sunshine, I somehow find my shelter in you. Having posted this, I feel heard, understood and hugged. THANKS guys you're amazing and I'm sorry if I didn't say that before!


Current Music: One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey

138 Cranium Signets:

Jewel Rays said...

Keshi,

*hugs*

I have felt all those things that you have felt below. the storm that rips ya heart out.

i am glad you found the blog as a refuge at times and i am glad that i can place a little touch upon that little hurtful heart of yours though i feel i don't do much. i know how it feels when no one is around and i wish ican be the one at times.

Thanks for ya wonderful thanks despite the tears in your eyes. for one thing, keshi, you are a beautiful blogger with a beautiful heart. Your post and writings are not just one to be missed at any point of time. I want to say thank you too for the many silent ways you have contributed to my own life and at most being a support at many times in my blogs and the comments you leave with ya heart. i owe u a thanks too many a times..

*hugs*

southpaw said...

Like u said abt being felt ripped off, i hv had my share of such moments and today the same ppl who hurt me once r in deep shit and i dont even hv the time to look at them nor i intend to. But unlike u i disconnect myself from every freaking living thing i know in times of ignorance. The ignorance from the other end makes me even more stronger.
When u were trying so many numbers did u tried mine? or i dont belong to that category?
Anyway come out of it, hv a drink and get some sleep.

desperado said...

blog is meant for dis purpose only
n now keep d smile on the face

Anonymous said...

its not the end of the world
just take one day at a time

Anonymous said...

I'm only human, I'm just a woman.
Help me believe in what I could be
And all that I am.
Show me the stairway, I have to climb.
Lord for my sake, teach me to take
One day at a time.


One day at a time sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking from you.
Just give me the strength
To do everyday what I have to do.
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine.
Lord help me today, show me the way
One day at a time.

Do you remember, when you walked among men?
Well Jesus you know if you're looking below
It's worse now, than then.
Cheating and stealing, violence and crime
So for my sake, teach me to take
One day at a time.

One day at a time sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking from you.
Just give me the strength
To do everyday what I have to do.
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine.
Lord help me today, show me the way

One day at a time.

Anonymous said...

hey Keshi, really hope that u are fine. I not going to say much, this BEAR HUG is for u.

is nice to know a person like u as well, no worry we are always here for u, yep using blog to express how u feel... do take care. remember this life has it ups and down.. trust me I am on the very down side now...

but I always tell myself this, when things had come to the worst, whatever going to happen will be good. so be positive and smile.

HUGSS

Phoenix said...

hey..big hug for you baby..
you know urself too well that this happens to all of us and not just once. yet it sucks each time. Be a brave girl..be yourself...this too shall pass.
Time causes most pains; time heals most pains.
Be brave. Whatever we giv to this unvierse, the universe gives it back to us. Nobody gifts hurt n goes scot free. And for all the love u give, u surely wil get it back.
Cheer up honey

Anonymous said...

Keshi girl, Please don' ever feel like you're alone! You have so many people out here in this blogging world that care and I do know that feeling of nobody being around - coincidentally or on purpose when they don't want to face your problems.

If you ever want to talk - Melbourne ain't too far away from Sydney and there is always SMS, IM and email. :D The wonders of technology :)

Smile, girl, we all need you to help US brighten our day :)

trinitystar said...

Keshi,
Always remember you are never ever alone the cloak of safety and warmth surrounds you. It is because you have forgotten that you feel sad and alone.
People that hurt you do so out of their own fear. They fear your power and try to dampen your spirit.
Keshi know that you are a Being of beauty it is for the other to learn.
Feel compassion for this poor soul.
A dog has been beaten all of his life, and is a junkyard guarddog. You are friendly to them, even loving … do they see this? No, … they only see the past that still haunts and frightens them.
You are seeing the moment, and the love you feel for others and expecting them to like you. You do not see the past that haunts them … the thorn in their paw, not the distrust and dislike for others they have learned. There is never a guarantee that liking someone will make them like you … nor loving make them care about you. Remember Jesus and those that betrayed him. One loves, because one see the value within the other, one sees the need and cares for them, one sees the value in love itself … never because it will make them like you nor love you. There is never a guarantee of this.
Remember, what others are like to you, tells you more about who they are … than who you are.
Everyone here are right behind and most of all the Divine within you.
Big hugs for you.

Anonymous said...

Keshi its ok to let ur feelings go!
Its good that u used ur blog to let go everything u had!

U knw life is like a plane trip
You never know what all can happen
Maybe you can land safely, or anything can happen
It is so unexpected! And yet there are people who we trust and they still hurt us!
You do talk of a storm but you know it has to be over sometime:)

Nitemares dont last too long
One day u wake up and they are gone

And i must admit such situation just makes you more strong

thats so benovelent of you to think of us as friends and we will never let you down

But keshi sometimes in life you gotta walk alone
We are weak we do need someone to hold our hand, someone to depend on

But as they say

WE ARE BORN WITH NOTHING AND WE GO WITH NOTHING! NOONE WILL ACCOMPANY US WHEN WE DIE!!

thats a bitter truth
Life is about friends, close ones, people who you can rely on but then you know the first thing that comes into half the people's mind is "MYSLEF,I,ME"

So it is usual!
This made you cry but with each tear that trickled down your cheeks, you got stronger
And i daresay nothing can stop you know to run like a stallion in your life:) Am damn sure about it

Time heals everything keshi:)
U knw u got us with u:)

Hugggggggs

Jeevan said...

Yes dear this doesn’t sounds good! I too hate being alone on Sundays, but now so happy after dear this post, that u has come to us to share this day through this post. Hugssssss you strong keshi.

I have felt bad many times in my summer holidays with my loved cousins, as there are fast on everything and i can't equalize them through my week physical. I also can’t explain my situation and feel like I hurt by them and miss the times enjoying with them but I solace my mind.

Hope they will understand and felt sorry for their misunderstanding you my Friend:) pls smile:) take care and seep well in peace.

Anonymous said...

Get well soon buddy! Its not uncommon to feel left alone after someone hurts us! I too was in that situation before, felt the desperate need for supporting shoulder. My best choice then was to keep my mouth shut and wait for favorable tide to save us back!

Anonymous said...

Ohh what happened Kesh? ;( am not usually checkin' blogs on sunday but there's a feelin' that brings me here.And when i read ur post i felt oh ;(;( hugss u sweetie, i dunno why wonderful person like u have to suffer sadness?

You maybe sailing under the weather now, but hang-on... coz i know u will soon get over it! muaahhh... and dun forget that we're all here for u!

... u take rest, listen to some good music and have a deep breath and say " im ok coz many people loves me "

Godspeed!

luv ya babe! gudniteeee... see u tomorrow!

Anonymous said...

hey
keshi. i think most of us have gone through that, to a more or lesser extent..thats life, it hurts like hell sometimes but yeah..u r right after the storm is a kind of peace but still spmeitmes you are scared for life, you know that thre are times when you just cant look past it.

hope you recover from all this soon..just divert your attention, and try to have fun..treat yourself well and dont give the person who treated you like this the satisfaction of seeing you hurt.
i know..easy to say but...

lots of hugs.

Anonymous said...

hey
keshi. i think most of us have gone through that, to a more or lesser extent..thats life, it hurts like hell sometimes but yeah..u r right after the storm is a kind of peace but still spmeitmes you are scared for life, you know that thre are times when you just cant look past it.

hope you recover from all this soon..just divert your attention, and try to have fun..treat yourself well and dont give the person who treated you like this the satisfaction of seeing you hurt.
i know..easy to say but...

lots of hugs.

Anonymous said...

hey
keshi. i think most of us have gone through that, to a more or lesser extent..thats life, it hurts like hell sometimes but yeah..u r right after the storm is a kind of peace but still spmeitmes you are scared for life, you know that thre are times when you just cant look past it.

hope you recover from all this soon..just divert your attention, and try to have fun..treat yourself well and dont give the person who treated you like this the satisfaction of seeing you hurt.
i know..easy to say but...

lots of hugs.

Anonymous said...

that was me , as anonymous..couldnt comment otherwise.

Ramya-the sagittarian said...

I totally agree, all the friend in need is a friend indeed is absolute shit.
When u need people around u, nobody is around. And its not just, its me too! :(

Anonymous said...

Hi Keshi!
That's true what anom.said:
"its not the end of the world
just take one day at a time" and great words from Trinitystar.
We all need this support. Nobody is free from soul pain. I really understand you!
You have many good friends.
Sometimes who hurts you - feel even worse than you.
Blessing to you!

Arz000n said...

Isn't it strange that sometimes when you need a friend, there's not a single one around?
I dont know what exactly happend, but I can feel that it was kinda really sad and unexpected from someone very close to you.

I've been through lot of ups and downs in ma life (and you know me...and what we've been through..hehehe), so right now I just dont care much about all these things. Maybe I'm turning into a stone-heart or something that I've stopped thinking much about the way people end up hurting me.

The only thing I would advice you (though I know you have always been more matured than me), just dont break down coz things happend the way you neva expected them to be. Sometimes life surprises you in a way, you can neva even imagine of.

The storm will fade and things will return back to normal soon.

Hugzz and do take care...

Anonymous said...

Whoa! that actually helped me too..in a strange way...
n well..
*hugs*
:)

love said...

Oh dear Keshi you sound so sad, could it be you are thinking negative thoughts in matters that haven't really occured? I'm on holidays so so happy so I can only send you positive wave thoughts from this end of the world. Is this about love Keshi? Love is such a strong and delicate feeling, many times people react to the way we made them feel and we don't realise this.

Know that we LOVE you, I do, and you are always on our minds and hearts.

Love always,

Darling blogger from the stars

Blessed said...

Have you ever had a storm rip your heart out and take away with it everything that you've ever had? I HAVE HAD A STORM RIP MY HEART OUT BUT IT DIDN"T TAKE AWAY ALL THAT I EVER HAD Have you ever lost everything you ever worked and lived for? NO Do you know what it is to lose all your dreams overnight? NO Have you ever felt so lost and destitute that you feel you'll never come out of it alive?YES Have you watched your dreams break into pieces and realised you still can't do anything about it? NO Have you lost your self completely that you begin to miss what you were before? NO Did someone ever steal your life that it seems it doesn't belong to you anymore? NO Did the storm leave you naked and in tears? YES!! Have you ever had someone laugh at your feelings as if you were nothing? YES!! Did you ever feel so hurt that there were no words to express it? YES!! Did you feel muted by that hurt itself? NO Have someone close to you ever made you feel that you are less important than the rest of the world? YES!! Did someone ever disgrace you infront of others that you just wanted to die? YES!! Did the whole world laugh at you along with him/her? YES Did you ever feel so misunderstood that you feel silence is better than saying anything at all? NO Have you just wondered what your life would have been if not for the storm? YES The storm that changed you forever. The storm that took with it everything that belonged to you. The storm that washed away your life and left you with nothing but a memory of someone who used to be. Have you ever watched your life just pass you by? YES Have you ever lost everything? NO
YOU CAN BEGIN AGAIN BECUZ THO THE STORM WAS TERRIBLE AND BEYOND BELIEF AND PROBABLY MORE THAN I CAN FATHOM---YOU DO HAVE ONE IMPORTANT THING AND THAT IS YOU!!!!!! YOUR DREAMS MAYBE SHATTERED BUT WE ARE RESILIENT CREATURES. WE ARE LIKE THE PHOENIX RISING FROM THE ASHES. WE CAN, WITH TIME, PATIENCE, BUILD OURSELVES TO BE STRONGER. WE LEARN FROM THE STORM AFTER OUR WOUNDS HEAL. WE BECOME BETTER, MORE AMAZING.
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GOT ME THINKING WAS HOW YOU FELT SO ALONE AND NO ONE TO TURN TO-----GOODNESS! HOW I HAVE FELT LIKE THAT SO MANY TIMES---I FELT LIKE THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL AND AS I LOOK BACK NOW I THINK THE REASON NO ONE WAS AROUND WAS BECUZ GOD WANTED ME TO TURN TO HIM. GOD WANTED ME TO REALIZE THAT I NEEDED TO CONCENTRATE ON ME WITHOUT WORDS AND WISDOM FROM OTHERS. HE WANTED ME TO RELY ON ME AND HIM!!! JUST ONE MORE REASON FOR ME TO BELIEVE THAT THERE IS NOTHING THAT ME AND HIM CAN NOT GET THRU TOGETHER. THRU HIM I DON'T FEAR AS MUCH, THRU HIM I AM STRONGER....THRU MY MANY STORMS I AM STRONGER AND I AM HOPING WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL THAT YOU TOO CAN PICK UP THE PIECES. YOU CAN START OVER. THE WONDERFUL, AMAZING, ENDEARING, POSITIVE, LOVING, RAY OF SUNSHINE THAT IS, MISS KESHI, WILL BE LIKE THE PHOENIX AND RISE TO NEW HEIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!
BLESSINGS AS ALWAYS!!!
{{{hugs}}} AND MORE {{{hugs}}}

Anonymous said...

Always here for you Keshi. Hugs my friend.

Anonymous said...

Chocolate Pastry anyone?
Perhaps not ....

Keshi I think u have decide that a brief hiccup is an end of it.

Reading this I get a feeling u minigs for something which has to be carved.

You are trying to find solutions to your Real life in Virtual world.No matter how good/bad people may sound.This is the virtual world.

There are a few things for which You and You alone have to fight it out, all of us have gone thru this or may face a similar situation all by themselves.

My teacher ones told me, what doesn't kill you makes u stronger.

The point his your emotions should be in the shell of determination, self belief and feel of wanting to struggle.Optimistic atttiude is a key.

Then again the issue is it is really hard to understand a woman (personal experience here).Coz we are expected to understand problems which are not told ... u dont need to to everyone, but u need to work out whom it is worth while to talk to.

Talk to yourself, it is all about believe that U want to put your best forward.

I may have taken it in a wrong sense but someting bizzare may have happened for u to fall out.

Falling out is no shame, falling and never getting up again is ....

Tears are precious and sign of joy as well save them till time comes.

Who never fell never rose?

Cheers :)

P.S.: (Chocolate Pastry anyone?)

Helen said...

Keshi, I was drawn to daily reading your blog just a week or so ago, because of your energy, your viva-viva-vivacity (there's a reason why you chose to call your blog viva forever, sister), and your soul which must be brilliant, since I can feel it across latitudes and longitudes. These times do feel like storms...swirls of emotional energy, unfocused thoughts rumbling, and bolts of pain...they show you that you're alive and that you're supposed to grow and learn and yeah, have your heart broken once in a while. (But in the meantime, running, darts (at carefully situated pictures), painting, and kickboxing (once again, at carefully situated pictures) can channel a LOT of energy)

musings (m000nie) said...

there r people in this world who take u for granted.. its happened with me too.. not once but twice!!.. people who u love... who u can give everything that u own... people who will just have to state a wish n u try to fulfill it.. not worrying about the consequences...

n then what happens??.. once they r thru with what they want out of u they will disappear.. just go away.. whooshhh...

ur post got back some of the same hurt that i had felt a long time ago... or was it just yesterday??

cant remember!

Anonymous said...

*Have you ever felt so lost and destitute that you feel you'll never come out of it alive? Have you watched your dreams break into pieces and realised you still can't do anything about it? Have you lost your self completely that you begin to miss what you were before? Did someone ever steal your life that it seems it doesn't belong to you anymore?*

YES!!! To all these and more!! Are you kidding?! I was ready to go "Bye Bye" and I was 23yrs old,naive and was just married!!Hey, I survived that and believe me nothing lasts forever!!

Rise up and love yourself.Tell yourself; nothing and nobody will EVER treat me this way again and don't let them!! Once you can do that, you are your own person and people get intimidated by you and stop bullying! Personal experience!!:)

Cheer up and hang in there.HUGS!!

Eclipsed Thoughts said...

Hey KAP... Cheer up!

First thing... let me clear out a few questions to myself and then maybe i can come out with big advices (they surely are wonderful to give, but implementation?? ***I scratch my head***

Have you lost your self completely that you begin to miss what you were before?

Yes... and in due time, i did want to kill everything around... (not human beings though... i was talking about situations and environment)... but with time, it all seemed trifle

Have someone close to you ever made you feel that you are less important than the rest of the world?

This was a good line... i have felt used, misused and then thrown away... felt terrible but then it was too much to bear, so i stopped bothering... took me more than a year to get over all that shit... but i am fine now... thats the point... i survived, fought and then i am back to LIFE!

Did someone ever disgrace you infront of others that you just wanted to die? Did the whole world laugh at you along with him/her?

Yes... but maybe my eyes were too filled that everything was misty... i could see nothing more than few blurred shadows... dunno if they laughed at me or their happiness... but anyways, nothing was clear... it seems to blurred now... hazy and misty!

Did you ever feel so misunderstood that you feel silence is better than saying anything at all?

Hmmm... yes, i did... no words needed to explain this!


Others... hmmm... no i didnot think how my life would have been if there was no storm in my life... i guess life would not have been so exciting and nice as it does... i would not have learnt to appreciate things and people around... so its all good... it was meant to be and i am glad it happened to leave me stronger- mentally and emotionally!

Now the advice part... i dont know how you take it... but remember life is all about a walk, (vertical or inclined)... you are always on the ascend and from the point you stand, the past would always be few feet below you... past would always be a trifle, short, dwarf and small.. (exceptions are always there)...
The point where you stand, you see the exact size of your pain because you are both on the same level...
Your future would be on the higher level than where you are now... so it would always look too big, difficult for you to handle...

I reality,... the size was always the same ... it all mattered on the way you looked at them... the ground you perceived all this...

So dont worry, todays issue will be a trifle tomm... God bless you... stay happy!!!

Lera said...

Keshi dear come on.. cheer up , you are gonna feel better with Time, just think of all the good things and try to enjoy your day by taking Time to recharge your batteries :) I 'm sure that gets you feeling refreshed with a whole new perspective on Life and people.

Anonymous said...

Hugs & Kisses sending your way Keshi...just like you, blog buddies helped me pulled through this lousy feelings and I know exactly how you feel right now.

Yes there would be time when friends are not around to hear you out but with us, we'll always be here for you.

Be strong & Be positive, hope you'll feel better soon.

Luv ya, don't think so much.

Anonymous said...

BOOO!!!
am back,
every body gets ripped apart, its just the way of bearing the pain, some simply take it as another incidence in the life some just sit and start crying, some learn from it and some just dont care.
lets not talk about being ripped apart. Wanna go on a date with me???
:P
Hey dont say, U and ME??? and a date !!
U will rip me apart :P
come on give me a smile after reading this and that smile shud be genuine.
Oh I forgot,
HUGGZZZ and lots of kisses muuaahhaaa
;-)
keep smiling

samuru999 said...

Keshi my dear
I do not know what to say!
I just came here to comment on your previous post, and I see this one!
I have been so very busy this weekend!
You seem so very sad and broken!
My heart goes out to you!
I have had many hurts throughout my life.. so I can relate!
But, I do think I have ever felt as
badly as you are feeling right now!
It is making me so sad to know you terrible you are feeling now!

I am leaving right now, as I have to visit someone!
I will come back later!
I will say a prayer!
Take care angel!
HUGGGGGGGGZ!

Margie

Kavi said...

Heyy ! You are there for me. We are there for you ! As Ghosty says, this is one world !

I am sure these things happen to all of us, and happen for good too. Over time, there is realisation of who the real people are, and who will impact us the most !

Sometimes situations are so difficult, and many a times, i have realised ( much later) that the difficult times had the most lasting of impacts on me !

Keshi, people are different ! So are the people in our lives ! Rebuild brick by brick, whatever has been washed away by the storm.

This probably is the best chance to rebuild the house the way you wanted ! If there is any thing that i can do, just let me know !

Anonymous said...

Keshi,

There will be the rare person who does not feel at least once in their life that somebody close betrayed them in some way. People react in different ways - some get very angry, some turn inwards, some just want to get even.

However, the best way to cope is to let people continue to interact with you, that will let you realize that close friends will always be there for you, to cheer you up and to make you feel special.

It is just a matter of time, and to restate a very old adage, 'time can heal anything'

Anonymous said...

U ok baby ??
I'm so worried, cz you are a darn precious soul.
Dont forget what your name means girl. Love you.

Just wanna tell you this one thing.
Rem'br Nelly Furtado, 'Powerless'...?

Putting it here for you.

Paint my face in your magazines
Make it look whiter than it seems
Paint me over with your dreams
Shove away my ethnicity
Burn every notion that I may have a flame inside to fight
And say just what is on my mind
Without offending your might

Cause this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do
So say what you want
Say what you want

I saw her face outside today
Weatherworn, looking all the rage
They took her passion and her gaze and made a poster
Now it's moccasins we sport
We take the culture and contort
Perhaps only to distort what we are hiding

Cause this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do
But say what you want
Say what you want

Hey you, the one the one outside, are you gonna get in, get in
Hey you, the one that don't fit in, how ya, how ya gonna get in
Hey you, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in with your
Broken teeth, broken jaw, broken mojo
Yeah, this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do

Cause this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do ?


Baby, life's too short. Live it before it walks you by and never nevr forget we're all gonna be there, no matter what !!
*hugssss*

Anonymous said...

After this post, I hate you! You ran away! Instead of bashing up whoeva/whateva made you post this! Others may have hugs and kisses for you, but I'm sorry, I dont relate to ppl who dont stand up for themselves!
(Man, I sound like a hipocrite!)

Anonymous said...

a blue sunday huh :(

** Do you know what it is to lose all your dreams overnight?

YES

** Have you watched your dreams break into pieces and realised you still can't do anything about it?

YES

** Have you lost your self completely that you begin to miss what you were before?

YES

** Did you feel muted by that hurt itself?

TOO Often

** Did you ever feel so misunderstood that you feel silence is better than saying anything at all?

Silence is better in most such situation :)

** Have you ever watched your life just pass you by?

YES :(

** Have you ever lost everything?

therz only one such thing - life

** Isn't it strange that sometimes when you need a friend, there's not a single one around?

its the probablity of ur glum mood falling at the LCM of unavailability of ur friends ... it happens ... doesn't mean they ain't there :)

tc nutty :)

Anonymous said...

:(

hmm, storm, mb better than slowly drowning

keep warm

m

Keshi said...

Amy ty n HUGGGGGGGGGZ! I was reading ur comment first and was in tears...cos it made me realise how much u guys care for me and r here for me when I need u. So THANK U!

-----------------------------------

Southy I didnt call u cos I wasnt sure if u'd be free...I know ur a very busy guy. But I buzzed ya on YM b4 writing this post...u were on SMS. And then I didnt get an istant reply so I thought u were busy...so I emailed u and Uttsy. U 2 r the first I always email when something happens...u know that dun u.


**But unlike u i disconnect myself from every freaking living thing i know in times of ignorance.

At a time like that I feel like disconnecting from everyone too but Im such a 'people' person. So I cant be alone for too long...I just have to get connected to someone somehow. I need to feel, hear, see, listen, talk...with people. Or I'll die. That's why Im here.

ty so much Southy...ur comment made me feel good. I did just like u told me to. After calling my best cousin in NZ n having along chat with her, I had a shower, got some Pizza delivered, had a drink and then went to sleep listening to music. I was ok in the morning...although not 100%. ty so much HUGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

ty Desperado for always being here for me HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Anonymous heyy why do I feel that I know ya :)

**its not the end of the world
just take one day at a time

yeah ur right...not the end of the world, but it felt like it was the end of my world. It really did. How wud u feel if someone close to u abused u with bad words in front of others? What if they lied abt u infront of good friends saying that u said this n that abt them. How wud u feel when u have nothing but words only to prove to them that u didnt say such things abt them? How wud u know if those friends will ever be the same again with u just cos some loser lied abt u? How wud u know?

I love that song...one of my fav songs.

-----------------------------------

Vince aww HUGGGGGGGGGZ ty! U guys r amazing. So much love for me here.

**things had come to the worst, whatever going to happen will be good.

I hope so...I really hope so Vince. TY!

-----------------------------------

Phoenix HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!

**Whatever we giv to this unvierse, the universe gives it back to us. Nobody gifts hurt n goes scot free.

so true. But what I dun u'stand is why do I get hurt so much? I havent hurt anyone to the extent of how I get hurt by others. It's bizzare cos I dun u'stand that. I look upto God and ask why so much pain in my life when I havent hurt anyone. And I dun get any answers...well not so far.

ty so much for being here for me!

-----------------------------------

Silvara I luv ya!

**If you ever want to talk - Melbourne ain't too far away from Sydney

that really made me smile...all Victorians r so warm ha? :)HUGGGGGGGGZ ur one more bright star in my life!

-----------------------------------


TrinityStar hey that was such a powerful comment. ty so much!


**People that hurt you do so out of their own fear. They fear your power and try to dampen your spirit.

thats true...I agree. But being human it's so hard to watch em always hurting u. I need to find a solution for this. Maybe I should distance from that person - go somewhere far away. That will bridge the mental gap we have between us...u think it will?


**what others are like to you, tells you more about who they are … than who you are.

that really made sense ty! What they r to me can also be how I allow them to treat me. So from now on I wont let myself be treated that way. I will not let em speak to me like that.

ty for all ur encouragement HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!


Keshi.

samuru999 said...

Dear Keshi
Are you doing any better?
I have been thinking about you so much today, and wondering who could have hurt you so badly and caused you so much pain!
Sometimes the pain of the mind is much worse than the pain of the body!
Be strong, have faith that...
this too shall pass!
We all have our burdens to bear!
They can make us stronger...
I know mine have made me a stronger and actually more loving person!
I decided a long time ago I would never allow another person to diminish me!
If someone cannot treat me with the respect and love I give to them, I know it has nothing to do with me...it is more about who they are..

I pray you will come through all this a stronger person!
I am here for you!

A big HUG from me to you!

Margie

Keshi said...

Vipul ur awesome! I wish u guys lived down the same street as I do...how nice it wud be to hang ard with each other in real ha? :)


**U knw life is like a plane trip
You never know what all can happen

it sure is. And yday I experienced some turbulance hehe.

yes I agree with u that we r alone right thru out. No man comes to this world with another and no man can take someone else with em when they die. I said those exact words to someone yday during this major argument. I told em that I can lose all of em and I dun really care...cos Im alone anyways. And u said those words here too..amazing!

ty Vipul I appreciate ur love n concern so very much, HUGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------


Jeevan ur sooo precious! Dun let anyone tell u otherwise.

** there are fast on everything and i can't equalize them through my week physical.

aww that really made me sad. Dun think ur not equal cos of that. Just cos u have a physically challenging life, that doesnt mean ur any less than them. Actually u r much more than them cos look how brave u r. And ur living with it everyday...thats a tough thing to do mate. I have great respect for u cos of ur courage and strength cos I dunno wut I'd do in ur situation. HUGGGGGGGGZ n ty for being here for me...I LOVE U!

-----------------------------------


WC Nirek!

ty so much for ur encouraging words.

**My best choice then was to keep my mouth shut and wait for favorable tide to save us back!

thats a nice way to put it. Yes let me wait for a favorable tide then...I think I have it already...thats u guys. TY!

-----------------------------------


Kath HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!

I dunno either Kath..I dunno why I get so much hurt in return of all the love I wanna give out...I guess it's God's work for me. Thats how I think of it. I mean I have no other explanation. Maybe He wants me to go thru all this for some reason. There must be a reason na Kath?

** take rest, listen to some good music and have a deep breath and say " im ok coz many people loves me "

ty so much. That made me smile :) HUGGGGGGGGZ baby ur so sweet!

-----------------------------------


ty Rose!

**treat yourself well and dont give the person who treated you like this the satisfaction of seeing you hurt.

thats right...I will not let them dampen my spirits. I will live life the way Im supposed to. ty so much n HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

Hello Ramya!

**I totally agree, all the friend in need is a friend indeed is absolute shit.

yeah thats bull shit. It doesnt happen in real life. I mean even the bestest of friends dun help u when ur in real shit. That happens only very rarely. I have one friend like that in real. I know she will never let me down. She opened her doors to me when I left my previous place after an argument. She had no complaints when I walked thru her doors with a big suitcase. She WCd me with a warm smile and asked me to stay with her as long as I like. It was only for 3 days that I stayed there but the way she made me feel is so genuine. I will never forget that.


Keshi.

Anonymous said...

Keshi...U ok sweety? Here is one big squeezy "HUG" for u! I came here to comment on one of your "Keshi style" posts which make me giggle the whole time I'm on ur blog but I felt sad after reading your post...Somtimes ppl don't understand what they are losing & once its lost then they realize the value of it...You are gem of a girl & whoever did this to you will repent One day I'm sure...I'm always here for u :) We all go through these phases of life but all we need is courage & hope & Inshallah you will be fine :)

Stay Beautiful...!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Keshi

It is still Sunday on this side of the planet--Had to check on some things--will write later.

Hang in there girl--you're the greatest--remember that.

Hugs

Bev

Keshi said...

Krys heyy ty sweetie!

**Sometimes who hurts you - feel even worse than you.

I wonder how they feel after hurting a person. Do they feel happy or do they feel sad? Or do they feel like they won something great? I really dunno.

-----------------------------------

z000nie I missed u HUGGGGGGGGGZ n WB! So nice to have u back. I hope u had a good week in London?


**Maybe I'm turning into a stone-heart or something that I've stopped thinking much about the way people end up hurting me.

z000nie I can u'stand u here...Im turning into a stone-heart too. But only to those ppl who hurt me. I will not let em get to me anymore.

ty so much for always advising me with the wisest words. U r so very precious to me. TC n I love ya!

-----------------------------------


hey Pegasus!

**that actually helped me too..in a strange way...

really? aww why dun u tell us HOW it helped ya.

-----------------------------------

Love heyy who r u? I mean u havent left ur name.

anyways ty so much!

**could it be you are thinking negative thoughts in matters that haven't really occured?

Na they really happened. worse. Im only telling u a bit. I wont make things look worse than they really r. I usually make em look better than they really r :)

Hugggggggz n ty for being here for me!

-----------------------------------

Blessed ur wisdom amazes me!! ty so much girl HUGGGGGGGGGGZ! U lifted me up from the pits of darkness. U will never know how much ur comment helped me to realise this:

**YOU DO HAVE ONE IMPORTANT THING AND THAT IS YOU

Those r golden words!! Yes I have ME dun I. Why didnt I realise that WOW! I may have lost everything but I still have ME with me. Blessed u have no idea who that line shook me into reality. I thank God for having u in my life.


**THE REASON NO ONE WAS AROUND WAS BECUZ GOD WANTED ME TO TURN TO HIM.

thats another golden line from u that opened my eyes. Maybe Im not giving enough time to God. Im always looking for Love in the wrong places. These places dun have any Love for me. It's Him who could give me unconditional Love. Ur soo right. Maybe I need to pend more time with Him than ppl ard me.

ty so much Blessed...I will rise again...:) How can I not when I have u? HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

Tre I know u r ALWAYS here for me...I LUV U mate!

-----------------------------------


Tarun I wudnt mind some choc pastries right now :) ty!

**There are a few things for which You and You alone have to fight it out, all of us have gone thru this or may face a similar situation all by themselves

so true...sometimes only you can decide what's best for u...thats what I did yday...I sat alone in the house thinking...and I have made some great decisions. And I know I will stick to em for life. I will this time.


**Falling out is no shame, falling and never getting up again is ....

I agree. Ty so much Tarun and I will get up again...no matter what. Cos u guys always give me the strength to do so. HUGGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------

Helen hey ty sweetie! When I first created my blog, I didnt think abt the word VIVA so much. I just named my blog VIVA FOREVER cos of that Spice Girls' song. I love that song so thats why I named my blog after that title :)


**have your heart broken once in a while.

yes I agree. My heart wasnt unbroken to begin with Helen. It was always scarred from the beginning. My dad was the only one who was ard to make me feel better. He loved me 100%. No one else loved me that much. He's the only man in my life. And after he died when I was only 16, my heart never repaired itself. And now more ppl stab me in the face. So right now, my heart is broken for life. But atleast I have a heart ha :)


**(But in the meantime, running, darts (at carefully situated pictures), painting, and kickboxing (once again, at carefully situated pictures) can channel a LOT of energy)

hehe so true. I will stick to that great advice. ty so much n HUGGGGGGGGGZ Helen!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

m000nie HUGGGGGGGGZ!

**there r people in this world who take u for granted

I know that feeling...this is so much abt ppl taking me for granted. I have been taken for granted all my life from someone close to me. I never had a good r'ship with that person and I know I will never. Cos that person has taken me for granted and dun realise what they r doing. Well I dun have all my life to sit and get wasted. yday I made up my mind. I have nothing to do with that person ever again. Not that Im angry with them but Im just taking care of myself. It's high time m000nie. ppl should be given a chance to show their potential. I did give this person more than one chance...perhaps 100 chances. Now it's time to halt it for life.

ty so much HUGGGGGGGGGZ u tc! Dun let anyone walk all over u. I did that for many years and that why I paid a heavy price for it. So do TC of yourself.

-----------------------------------

Hugggggggggz Asha I love ya!

**Are you kidding?! I was ready to go "Bye Bye" and I was 23yrs old,naive and was just married!!

ur serious? awww...Im glad u came out of it.


**Hey, I survived that and believe me nothing lasts forever!!

true. Not even the chances I gave this person. They dun last forever too. Yday it ended. I wont have nothing to do with them anymore.


**Rise up and love yourself.Tell yourself; nothing and nobody will EVER treat me this way again and don't let them!!

I did that yday after a long battle. I will never let that happen to me again. Im precious and I wont let ppl tell me otherwise.


**Once you can do that, you are your own person and people get intimidated by you and stop bullying! Personal experience

ty so much! U really made me feel stronger and courageous. Luv u so much and I emailed ya. HUGGGGGGGGGZ Asha!

-----------------------------------

KAP heyy Huggggggggz!


** i did want to kill everything around...

yes me too..I felt like that yday...I was like WTF is this big illusion called my surroundings.


**This was a good line... i have felt used, misused and then thrown away... felt terrible but then it was too much to bear, so i stopped bothering... took me more than a year to get over all that shit...

yes...and it has taken me more than a year to realise that I was letting myself get walked all over. How strange ha.


**i survived, fought and then i am back to LIFE!

Good on ya!


**Yes... but maybe my eyes were too filled that everything was misty...

awww HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ! I wish I was there to give u a hug then and to tell everyone to piss off.


**i guess life would not have been so exciting and nice as it does... i would not have learnt to appreciate things and people around... so its all good... it was meant to be and i am glad it happened to leave me stronger-
mentally and emotionally!

yes! thats why I asked that Qn. Cos if not for that storm we wud not know what Life really is. The storm makes us stronger. It may change u forever but it's for the best.


**ut remember life is all about a walk, (vertical or inclined)...

I absolutely LOVED that comparison. WOW! ty so much for that. It opened my eyes KAP.


**I reality,... the size was always the same ... it all mattered on the way you looked at them... the ground you perceived all this...

So true!


**So dont worry, todays issue will be a trifle tomm...

I so hope KAP. ty for everything n HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!


Keshi.

Anonymous said...

Falling in love — 20 minutes ago
Worth doing!

It was early September. The leaves were just beginning to change color in preparation for the fall. Bumbershoot was up and running in Seattle, and my newest internet boy had never been. I made him come along with me, a nervous and exciting first meeting. A week later I was in his bed.

He was chivalrous. Very kind, acommodating. His eyes were deep and reflective, and his troubled mind snuck out through them even when they were closed. We talked about everything, shared things we hadn’t told anyone. He claimed a violent mind, a hatred for humanity… but his affection toward me and socially timid manner disproved all of that.

He touched me, the first person to do so in longer than I could remember.

We were connected. We were above humanity. I was on top of the world.

It didn’t last long. It wasn’t entirely mutual. But I fell so fast and so deeply in love with him that it didn’t matter. I lost my virginity to him. And it was beautiful. He made me laugh with every breath, and despite trying to maintain a distant demeanor, he cared about me. Told me he didn’t want me smoking.

We had a wonderful time. First love is such a glorious thing. I had to let him go, as his first love already had him and he wasn’t ready to lose her. But those two months were some of the happiest and most exciting times of my life.

I will never stop loving him, nor enjoying his intimate company.

Dec 17, 02:34PM PST | 0 comments

Keshi said...

Lera u guys always re-charge me anyways :) ty n HUGGGGGGGGGZ baby!

-----------------------------------

Shionge I know u'll ALWAYS be ard and I love ya Girl HUGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

Kumar is that Kumar_Chetan? :)

**some just sit and start crying, some learn from it and some just dont care.

I sit n cry, then I move on somehow...


**lets not talk about being ripped apart. Wanna go on a date with me???

hehe yeah why not...where r u planning to take me? Sounds nice :):)


HUGGGGGGGGZ Kumar ur so sweet!

-----------------------------------

Margie HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ angel! Im ok...guess why...cos U R HERE. So dun worry abt me. I know no matter what u will be thinking abt me...that's enough to keep me going cos someone loves me ha...MWAHHHHHHHHHHH!

-----------------------------------

Kavi ur awesome! TY.

**Over time, there is realisation of who the real people are, and who will impact us the most !

true...so true! Now I know who my real loved-ones are. The labels dun always lead to real love. They have to make us feel loved. If not, they r just labels.

yes Im building brick by brick, and this time it's my way...like u said, I will do it the way I want. Enough of being controlled and living life the way someone else wants me to. And I want ur help Kavi...when I build it, I want u to come and live with me :) HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

Ashish heyy ty!

Time does make u feel better...I dunno if it heals tho..cos my dad's death is still very raw in my heart. And the way someone made u feel hardly ever gets healed with time.


**However, the best way to cope is to let people continue to interact with you, that will let you realize that close friends will always be there for you, to cheer you up and to make you feel special.

So true! ty so much for this. It really made me think on what I should do. HUGGGGGGGZ Ashish!

-----------------------------------

Cinderella I love that song. ty n HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!

**Yeah, this life is too short to live it just for you

thats my fav part...its so true na. In my case, it's so true. Im gonna be OK no matter what. Cos u guys lift me up. I love u girl!

-----------------------------------

The_FaceSmasher heyy!

**After this post, I hate you! You ran away! Instead of bashing up whoeva/whateva made you post this!

how can I bash em up? I did bash em up with my words tho. I told em off and told em everything I ever wanted to say to em. Now I have nothing to do with em. Wud that make u happy now and not hate me? :)


**Others may have hugs and kisses for you, but I'm sorry, I dont relate to ppl who dont stand up for themselves!

alrite then. I did stand up for myself tho. Anyways no worries mate. ty!



Keshi.

Anonymous said...

We'll sing in the sunshine
We'll laugh every da-a-y
We'll sing in the sunshine
Then I'll be on my way

I will never love you
The cost of love's too dear
But though I'll never love you
I'll stay with you one year

And we can sing in the sunshine
We'll laugh every da-a-y
We'll sing in the sunshine
Then I'll be on my way

I'll sing to you each mornin'
I'll kiss you every night
But darlin', don't cling to me
I'll soon be out of sight

But we can sing in the sunshine
We'll laugh every da-a-y
We'll sing in the sunshine
Then I'll be on my way

My daddy he once told me
"Hey, don't you love you any man"
"Just take what they may give you"
"And give but what you can"

"And you can sing in the sunshine"
"You'll laugh every da-a-y"
"You'll sing in the sunshine"
"Then be on your way"

And when our year has ended
And I have gone away
You'll often speak about me
And this is what you'll say

"We sang in the sunshine
"You know, we laughed every da-a-y"
"We sang in the sunshine"
"Then she went away"

Keshi said...

heyyy Samy I agree...many ppl have gone thru this kinda shit..even worse maybe.

yes I agree...Silence is golden in such situations. But I did say what I wanted to say. The hurt was unbelievable. They words that person said and the way they behaved was beyond comprehension. Not my style anyways. It was shocking.


ty so much n HUGGGGGGGGGZ! I know ur there for me :)

-----------------------------------

Anonymous heyy!

**hmm, storm, mb better than slowly drowning

I think so too.



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Margie Im ok...duncha worry sweetie HUGGGGGGGGGZ! But I was shattered yday...I didnt know what to do or where to go. I was truly broken. Like u said, the pain of the mind is the most excruciating pain ever.


**If someone cannot treat me with the respect and love I give to them, I know it has nothing to do with me...it is more about who they are..

I agree. I think I let this person in my life for far too long and I gave them too many chances. Now I have nothing left to offer. yday I made up my mind that I have nothing to do with this person ever again..cos the hurt caused yday was beyond comprhension. Im even ashamed to writeit here cos it's not my kind of act. So I'd leave that just like that and put them behind me. It's a very difficult decision and I so hope I will stick to it.

ty for thinking of me and being here for me always. U r an angel in disguise. I always say that. HUGGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

G'day Bev ur still in Sunday ha :) Cool! My blue Sunday is gone.

ty sweetie HUGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

Hey Anonymous thats a beautiful song. I loved it cos the cost of Love is indeed too dear. Nothing is forever so temporary Love is good enough. Ty!



Keshi.

Arz000n said...

I hope you are in a much betta mood than what was portrayed in this post of yours :))

Dont let people come and hurt you all the time....you have been through a lot and its time for you to stand up and say F*CK OFF and carrry on...

I know tis kinda rude...but this is the only language people understand these days....the more you care, the more you gonna get hurt all the time..

Think I need more fruit drink...before going to bed :))

Greeetzzzz....and you have a nice day ahead gal...hugzzzzzzz and keep smiling okie :)))

SaffronSaris said...

Poppy doll-pearl, big, beary hugzzzz all round for ya.
Before there were blogs, there were teddy bears and diaries for one to pour one's emotions too. Aren't they the best "friend" who listens quietly and non-judgementally?
I remember insisting on bringing a teddy with me to Japan, so that it made going back to a tiny room at the end of a long day a little more bearable.
I totally understand what you mean. Rem I told you I know someone who seems to get great fun jibbing me? I look at it from another perspective and thank him for letting me realise that there are so many more nice people aroung me. Anytime I forget that, I go on a little chat with this person, and, notwithstanding the jibes, come away thankful that I have other decent friends.
Better week ahead for you, and more hugzzzzz!!

Keshi said...

Sugar sorry I missed u in the crowd. HUGGGGGGGGZ n ty!

**Somtimes ppl don't understand what they are losing & once its lost then they realize the value of it

So true. So lets wait n see what happens. Thats all I can do.

I luv u girl! tnxx for being here for me.



Keshi.

Keshi said...

z000nie ur absolutely right! I care too much and Im sick of it. I just cant bring myself to be rude like they r to me. But i think yday I said wut I wanted to say. I really did.

** know tis kinda rude...but this is the only language people understand these days

hehe ur so cute.

Wut fruit drink r ya having? Can I have a sip?

;-)

Huggggggggggz!

-----------------------------------

Saffy MWAHHHHHH!


**Aren't they the best "friend" who listens quietly and non-judgementally?

Definitely! I have 3 cosy teddies...they r all sitting on top of my closet and watching my daily-life with their big brown eyes. I wonder what they r thinking. I wonder if they feel sad too but I know they love me unconditionally.

Luv ya n HUGGGGGGGGZ!



Keshi.

Anonymous said...

Hi Keshi

The hurt you feel has been felt a thousand-fold.

Yet, no one experiences it the same.

For anyone to say ‘I know how you feel’ is being irresponsible.

For they know not of your feelings.

I will be your shoulder to cry on.

I will your ear to listen.

I will not be your voice to advise you.

That voice you have inside.

The one that guides you through life.

The one that laughs when times are fun.

The one that cries when times are sad.

The one that makes you the beautiful lady you are.

The one that makes the Keshi we all have come to love.

GREAT BIG HUGS!!!

Bev

Outdoorsy Girl said...

Keshi...

I SO sorry for your terrible day! It sounds like whatever happened was on a huge scale and I hope that you are feeling better already.

I can absolutely relate to not having a friend available when you need them. Unfortunately, for me, sometimes it feels as if my friends are unavailable to me even when they are avaiable to talk. I have a hard time finding someone who can understand what I am feeling. I have maybe one or two friends that I know I can count on at all times.

This blog world has done wonders for me during times that I feel I have had to deal with problems alone.

I also know that storm you speak of. My storm hit me about 5 years ago. It destroyed everything in my life and I was completely lost. Sometimes I can still feel the wind from that storm, though it has long blown away.

The people with the best of hearts (like yours) seem to the ones who get hit the hardest by the storms another has created. I like to think it is because they are the strongest. God bless you! Your blog friends will always be reading and thinking of you when you need someone the most. :)

KK said...

Hey Keshi,
I can understand exactly what you are trying to say. I have gone through situations such as this a couple of times. And its very true that when you feel the need of friends you dont get to find anyone then.
Wish I could help you in anyway I can. Feel free to let me know if I can help you in anyway. These tough times will be there for some time. Try to put it behind and get going.
Huggggggzzzzzzz!!! Take care.

southpaw said...

u called up in NZ?
did u convey my Hi to ur cousin Anu...:D ahem ahem!!!

That sms on YM is such a stupid service works at its will, many hv complained on it...:( but i m glad u r feeling better now....:)

samuru999 said...

Hi again Keshi
I am so glad you are ok!
Could you please visit me again...
there is a message there for you!
Christmas is almost here...
I feel the Christmas spirit in my heart...don't you feel it too Sweetie?

I'm off to visit this sweet little old lady that is in a nursing home!
I'm bringing her some love and good cheer and Christmas goodies!
So, gotta run!
Hope your day is wonderful!

Hugggggz!

Margie

Anonymous said...

ys thats me
where do u want to go?
just keep smiling
;-)

Keshi said...

Bev u r so sweet...ur comment made me cry...happy tears...for having ppl like u in my life. HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ n thank you! That was so heart-warming.


**I will not be your voice to advise you.
That voice you have inside.

I know what u mean...we have to bear our own cross...and we have to let our self guide us. Instincts r a gift in each of us and we have to let that guide us thru all times. ty so much for being part of that light. MWAHHHHH!

-----------------------------------


Outdoorsy u know wut...ur comment brought tears to my eyes..it really did. Cos I was feeling sad that u too had to go thru such a terrible storm. I can imagine how painful it wud have been for u. But ur a strong woman. And u came out of it unscathed. U have yourself in place still. And thats what matters. HUGGGGGGGGGZ!


** it feels as if my friends are unavailable to me even when they are avaiable to talk.

yes thats right. Its so hard to communicate with even the bestest of friends, at a time of need. Good times r always so much easier to share. But when it comes to troubled times, ppl often find it hard to convey the thoughts and also to listen without bias. Its a very hard thing to find in this world. A friend who's both available and is willing to listen w.o. judgement.

But rem...we have each other here. No matter what, we have a world who undersstands us over here. And Im thankful to God for my blogger friends.

u tc and always know that Im here for u. HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

KK u just gave me what I wanted from u. U were here for me. U came here to check what's happening with me and u left ur heart-prints here for me. That means u thought of me today. Thats what I wanted and Im glad ur my friend. HUGGGGGGGGGGZ n ty!

-----------------------------------

Southy I txted Anu yday...but I did mention to her abt u 2 months ago :):)

but the cuz I spoke to was not her. This is Renu...she and I grew up together. More than cuzns we r great friends. She knows everything abt and I abt her. So it was good talking to her for 1hr. She made me realise that I can do nothing right now but to ignore such ppl (very hard to do) and move on.

ty Raj!



Keshi.

Anonymous said...

Oh Keshi my heart goes out to you. Do look at my latest post..its on a similar vein :) and KNOW in your heart that you are not alone...
May the force be with you :)
Big giant hugs

southpaw said...

.but I did mention to her abt u 2 months ago :):)***Ahem ahem...thank u thank u...:D

I guess cousin renu is right to a certain extent, do it.

Anonymous said...

Hey Keshi,

Remember tat we are always here for u no matter wat happens..

**Have you ever had a storm rip your heart out and take away with it everything that you've ever had?
- Yes i had...

**Have you ever lost everything you ever worked and lived for?
- Yes i had...

**Do you know what it is to lose all your dreams overnight?
- Yes i know... It hurts badly...

**Have you ever felt so lost and destitute that you feel you'll never come out of it alive?
- Yes i had...

**Have you watched your dreams break into pieces and realised you still can't do anything about it?
- Yes i had & it was devastating....

**Have you lost your self completely that you begin to miss what you were before?
- Yes i had & i felt totally lost & duno who i really am...

**Did someone ever steal your life that it seems it doesn't belong to you anymore?
- Yes, someone did... It hurts terribly & i cant find more words to describe tat kind of pain...

**Did the storm leave you naked and in tears?
- Yes. It sometimes made me lose control over myself...

**Have you ever had someone laugh at your feelings as if you were nothing?
- Yes, it is as if they do not care about how u felt at all.. I also have friends mocking me at why am i sacrificing so much when i get no returns...

**Did you ever feel so hurt that there were no words to express it?
- YES! Many a times i felt this way... Sometimes it is always this case, words cant express it all....

**Did you feel muted by that hurt itself?
- Yes i had...

**Have someone close to you ever made you feel that you are less important than the rest of the world?
- Yes. But no matter wat happens, i'll be there when he or she needs me no matter wat...

**Did someone ever disgrace you infront of others that you just wanted to die?
- Yes... But i didnt die away like tat.. I managed to prove to him/her tat i can do it..

**Did the whole world laugh at you along with him/her?
- Yes & it feels humiliated...

**Did you ever feel so misunderstood that you feel silence is better than saying anything at all?
- Yes.. Tats why sometimes ppl say slience is golden...

**Have you just wondered what your life would have been if not for the storm? The storm that changed you forever. The storm that took with it everything that belonged to you. The storm that washed away your life and left you with nothing but a memory of someone who used to be.
- Yes..

Have you ever watched your life just pass you by? Have you ever lost everything? I can't seem to begin again.
- Yes.. Sometimes it feels like the end of the world...

Dun be afraid of letting ur feeling out in the blog here as i also do the same... Sometimes we cant find a single soul to be there for us when we really need someone by our side for comfort.. Tats why i also turned to blogspot to let out my unspoken feelings...

Although i am in Singapore & you are in Australia, we are still near to each other.. The channel which brought us together is this "Blogspot".

As i read ur entry, tears filled my eyes.. I felt like u were the only one who understood how i felt when i felt torn apart...

I also wanna shout a loud "THANK YOU" for being such a wonderful blogmate!

In Life, there are always ups & downs... Stay happy & make this path of urs wonderful...!

Love,
Thumbelina

sophie said...

You have a heart that glows in
the dark Keishi...
and we can play our down notes
together with grace.

a little symphony of love.
love always floats to the top:)

(hugs)

em said...

Hi Keishi,

Thanks for continuing to visit my blog. I've finally added you to my Google Reader so that I'm updated with your posts. :-)

Anyway, moving on, I understand what you're going through right now. I may not have the exact feeling that you do, but like you, I've been hurt by someone close to me. At one point, I was truly affected by allowing myself to get hurt by someone like this. It sucks that I have a lapse in judgment that allowed this person to walk all over me. It hurts, it stings, it sucks.

I wish I can say that you'll be over it soon, but obviously, I can't. I mean, I'm not over my sad past either. But please, take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. And if ever you can't find people who would physically be there for you, please do find comfort in knowing that your cyberfriends will be there for you, at the most, giving comfort through words of wisdom or sharing personal experiences that would make you feel less alone, or at the very least, being there and listening (or in this case, reading) what you're going through and leaving comments in hopes that you'll get through this soon.

Take care and Godspeed.

*hugs*

awaiting said...

Doesn't it feel good to come to a place where you can let it all out?

There is always a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen.

Everyone has already taken up all the words, I'm all out!

Much love, Keshi!

:)

Keshi said...

Margie MWAHHHHHHHH I'll be there soon TY!

**I'm off to visit this sweet little old lady that is in a nursing home!

awww how nice of u! Give my love to her too!

-----------------------------------

Kumar heyy :)

Where do I wanna go? hmmm since its a date lets go to the movies...u pick the movie :)



Keshi.

Keshi said...

LaVida I think I was in ur blog when u were in my blog :) TY sweetie HUGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

Raj I did LOL!

And yeah Renu is always right...she's a darl.



Keshi.

Anonymous said...

keshi, i understand what you are going thru. there are some really bad days in life. don't fall into that tunnel of depression!

time will heal you!! and the real you is still there inside waiting to come out and shine like a beautiful day!!

cheer up girl!!

;-))

Anonymous said...

MOVIE on a date???
Ah come on Keshi, we can go to movie anytime, why waste a date for a movie???
Lets go to some place where we can just sit and talk. You suggest me some place and dont think about restaurant or a cafe.
*THINKING* Wat will I wear on a date?

Anonymous said...

Keshi, give it time and you will feel better. Time always helps. If no one in "real life" will listen to you, come here and tell all of us about what happened. It will make you feel better. You will feel relief.

I do agree that our blogs are like a sanctuary where you can say anything and everything and no matter what, you will feel a bit better.

Jay said...

One thing about all your bloggers friends is that we will all always be here for you Keshi!

Anonymous said...

Have you ever had a storm rip your heart out and take away with it everything that you've ever had?

Yes .... Not once but many times and its takes hell lot of time to recover from that
---------.

Have you ever lost everything you ever worked and lived for?Do you know what it is to lose all your dreams overnight?Did someone ever steal your life that it seems it doesn't belong to you anymore?Did you ever feel so hurt that there were no words to express it?Have you ever felt so lost and destitute that you feel you'll never come out of it alive?

YES !!! I Loved him so much for 3 yrs and when it was the time to stand beside me ... he was not with me .... and now he is married to someone :))) Thats life it took almost 8 mths for me to come out of this ..and beleive me i had no frnds that time ...ts was the hardest time of my life ...I was totally lost.I was blank i din't knew what to do where to start again ...
-------------------

Have you ever had someone laugh at your feelings as if you were nothing?

Many times and its always been my frnds !!! who laugh at me
---------------

Have you ever watched your life just pass you by? Have you ever lost everything? I can't seem to begin again

It's not that i have lost everything ..... there is lot to explore in life ... but i don't know where to begin :)))
--------------

Keshi .... lots of love and warm huggggggggggz to you :))) I wish i cud buy you a hot chocolate fudge Ice cream you will love it ...

Anonymous said...

**HUG**
that is a huge hug with arms widespread..
ya know u have always got us.. and while i could tell u storms pass..and this one too will.. or some such thing.. i'd rather just offer a tub of ice cream even if its virtual..more effective i think

Keshi said...

Thumbelina HUGGGGGGGGGGZ! Im here for u too. Ur comment really made me cry too!!! It was moving and I felt so glad that I found u too. No matter what kind of ppl we have been given to deal with in real life, we really do have some very warm hearts over here in blogvilel ha. So Im thankful for that! Gotta count my blessings :)


**Yes, it is as if they do not care about how u felt at all.. I also have friends mocking me at why am i sacrificing so much when i get no returns...

We all have ppl lik this laughing at us. But it's ok. Cos u know wut..they r the fools. Cos they cant feel like we do. So they r the weak and the insensitive. So let em be.

Thumbelina rem u have me ok?? TC n now u have a beautiful day! And THANK U!

-----------------------------------


Sophie o for sure! HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!

**a little symphony of love.
love always floats to the top

that was beautiful, TY!

-----------------------------------


Em heyy ty n huggggggggz!

**It sucks that I have a lapse in judgment that allowed this person to walk all over me

yeah but dun say that u were weak in ur judgement...it's them who r weak. Cos they r the ones who cant feel. U can feel cos u have a heart. And they dun.

I thank u for ur kind words of encouragement. yes we r here for each other no matter what. Have a wonderful day Em!

-----------------------------------

Awaiting my sweet sista HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!

**There is always a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen.

true..thats why I said that I feel hear, understood and hugged, even b4 anyone commented :)

-----------------------------------

Deepz heyy Hugggggggggz!

**and the real you is still there inside waiting to come out and shine like a beautiful day

that really got me thinking TY!


-----------------------------------

Kumar heyy :)

**Lets go to some place where we can just sit and talk. You suggest me some place and dont think about restaurant or a cafe.

ok then why did u ask me WHERE? LOL! alrite...lets go to the lake...I like sitting by the lake and dreaming :) Howzat?


***THINKING* Wat will I wear on a date?

LOL awww...just wear ur denims and a T hehe.

u r so sweet!

-----------------------------------

AB tnxxx mate!


** If no one in "real life" will listen to you, come here and tell all of us about what happened

isnt that so true! I mean sometimes no one in real life really wants to listen to what u have to say. Thats why I consider Blogs as my life-saviour.

-----------------------------------


aww Jay TY huggggggggggggz! that means alot to me.




Keshi.

Keshi said...

My_Life ty so much! I'd love that ice-cream for sure :) ur so sweet!

**he was not with me .... and now he is married to someone

thats soooo wrong. How could he do that to u!! But u know, d u need a man like that in ur life anyways? He's not worthy of someone like u. So he's better off being where he is right now.

Huggggggggz n TY!

-----------------------------------

Aditi ty so much HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ babez!


** i'd rather just offer a tub of ice cream even if its virtual..more effective i think


definitely :) YUMMMMMMMMMM!



Keshi.

Vest said...

Keshie. Been there done that, sometimes a friend in need can be a blessed nuisance. However, be assured you will never be a loser.

Anonymous said...

Just to add MAY BE .....

Too much of thinking and wanting for something you do not have, takes you outside of yourself and makes you forget who you are, forget why you're here....and we are in Pain we don't know whr to start!!!!

Keshi said...

Vest hey tnxx matey!

**sometimes a friend in need can be a blessed nuisance.

I agree. Sometimes it's best to be alone.

I got the Craker business :) I call em Bon Bons hehehe.

-----------------------------------

My_Life heyy!


** we are in Pain we don't know whr to start

yeah thats true. Too much pain can make u forget who u r.



Keshi.

Jewel Rays said...

This may sound weird. but i was kinda upset that i could not be there for you in real . my heart kinda hurt. I am really glad to hear that you smile reading my last post. it means alot keshi. and i mean what i say in this comment.

cheers Keshi and hugs biggies. Adore ya!!

Anonymous said...

hugs Keshi.. U have to ride thru storm sometimes and I understand how u feel cos I feel the same these days .. Blog is gr8 n am as thankful to u.. take care

Anonymous said...

**Im here for u too. Ur comment really made me cry too!!!

- Dun cry dun cry... **Pats ur back**

**We all have ppl lik this laughing at us. But it's ok. Cos u know wut..they r the fools. Cos they cant feel like we do. So they r the weak and the insensitive. So let em be.

- Oohh... HaHa.. Okk, let them be fools.. HeHe..

**Thumbelina rem u have me ok??

- Yupz! I will!!

You take care too!! Muackzz!!

Thumbelina

Sujit said...

people from the world of words.. are always there with you.. to share the journey that you pass along.. :).. its like hand in hand.. we move along a road that has never an end :)..! hope you are feeling better now :)..

Keshi said...

Amy HUGGGGGGGZ!

**but i was kinda upset that i could not be there for you in real . my heart kinda hurt

awww thats so sweet. I know ur a very sensitive soul just like me. Well I can feel ur love across the oceans Amy. Thats for sure! So tho u cant be near me physically, I know ur thinking of me. MWAHHHHHH!

-----------------------------------

Huggggggggz Viv n ty! Im always here for u too ok??

-----------------------------------

Thumbelina :) ur a darl HUGGGGGGGGZ n ty again!


-----------------------------------


Sujit tnxx mate.

**its like hand in hand.. we move along a road that has never an end

So true! Isnt that wonderful :)


Keshi.

Anonymous said...

Dont think I am trying to impress you. You are already impressed by me. :P Honestly I also like the lake in our city and my idea of a date was going to lake. Or simply say, sit and talk. See our ideas match so we will have a good date.
;-) keep smiling.

Anonymous said...

Glad I have a friend called Keshi :)
Cheer up :)

Seema said...

Hi there...Keshi do u know something though we've never spoken or personally met..I always felt that your a Wonderful person..so true n genuine...n good people always last longer than the bad times...so take it easy for now

N yes...most of us have gone thru this stage...it feels broken and bruised, the very purpose of our life defeated and we even question our existence.....n no one around...but that's not the end...believe me God sends angels whom we may have never known of...n it just pases ! So here's lots of hugs n love yr way...u take care n ITS JUST A MATTER OF TIME...all's gonna be fine !

visithra said...

hugz ;))

indeed some ppl seem to enjoy hurting others we'l never know why - just remember ure stronger no matter how u dont really feel like it

Within Without said...

It's hard to know what to say here, Keshi.

First, a virtual hug and embrace for you hopefully to help you heal some of that pain.

Now I guess I know what you meant with your comment on my blog about having a Blue Christmas.

I don't know what this is about, who it involved or anything. But are you sure you're not overreacting?

Why would something that someone else said --no matter how bad it sounded to you -- have you so upset and talking about it stripping away your life and leaving you with nothing?

Are you being too sensitive?

You've got to have enough strength and confidence inside you to believe that person is full of sh** and that they're wrong.

Dig deep down inside you right now and think of who and what you know you are. What do you see and feel?

And how does that feeling compare with whatever this other person said...were they right?

I'm assuming your answer will be no. You can't control what others say or do. You can only control what you know and think and feel.

So I dunno Kesh whether this is a pity party or what...but whatever it is that's at your core, that makes you who you are, should be strong enough alone to get you through this.

I hope I'm not sounding insensitive here, I don't mean to be. But this sounds like one of life's kicks in the gut, and you're strong enough to put it in its place and stand up tall and tan again.

Remember...Viva Forever.

Anonymous said...

lol...I don't know...I wanted to say so many things...but sometimes you get so badly hurt that you end up laughing, no? what can I say? I know how that feels...every word...it was simply beautiful the way u put those words,ever word sounds so close...you know I dont' know you, never met you, but whaetever you are, I love you, cause, the storm came and you are still alive to post this...hugs.loads. time will heal. it takes time, but keep faith. and yeah,wen u need, no frnd is around:) but i was lucky to ahve a friend. i call her my angel:)if u want to...u ahve my mail address...write to me whenever u feel like. I might not give u world;y wisdom or be there in person to hug you and wipe your tears, but atleast, i'll make you feel better by telling you that they are other equally misfortunate (or should I say, fortunate?:)) like you and me.so take care. live good.

samuru999 said...

Good-night Angel!
Prayers going up for you tonight!

Margie

Anonymous said...

Hey Keshi,

Are u feeling better?? No blog entry from u today makes me kinda worried...

Thumbelina

Anonymous said...

there's bright sunshine after the storm... always.....

the fact that u stood strong right through the storm.. is so.. satisfying and well.. u r taught some lessons the hard way....

get over n get ahead...
its a brand new day!

PrAcHi said...

The part that's unbearable is when it's someone who's very close to you that does this to you.
Keshi dear.. I can exactly feel what you must have gone through. This is how exactly I was feeling some days back :(. N then when this happens, you get hurt so much.. it’s like noone is there for you, who will understand you and you are left alone in a dark!! N then you can’t do anything.. You are just helpless! *sigh*

Isn't it strange that sometimes when you need a friend, there's not a single one around?
I know, this happens. Many a times, n then it makes u depressed more!
Huuuuugggggggs. Don’t worry dear. We are connected through this virtual world, so we are just one-mouse-click away from eachother. Whenever you want a hug.. my arms are wide open for you. Whenever you want a shoulder to cry.. mine is there. N even if you want a company to cry.. I am there! N yeah.. You don’t need to say thank you for that :).. it’s always my pleasure.

Anonymous said...

It does happen at times, when you feel lost and no one near to hear your voice...I guess its part of life that every one of us go through one time or the other. All I can say we all are here to hear your voice and we indeed listening all the time!

Chin up girl...:-)

Anonymous said...

aww. keshi...HUGGGGGGSSS.

chin up gal:)

and you're missed on my blog!!

Anonymous said...

Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us. -- Thomas L. Holdcroft

:)

The Grunt said...

Keshi, I have been there before and many times. It is not fun at all, and yes, there are people who live to bring other's down and make them feel pain.

As for blogging, it has been incredible for me. I never anticipated getting to know so many people this way. I must say, for the brief time that you have been on my horizon, you sure have been an uplifting influence on me. This is why I keep blogging and why I haven't written that novel yet;) I will make time for that soon, though.

lee said...

ah keshi, isn't it a shame sometimes when others don't treat us as they should? You are a lovely lady and that fact will not change, no matter what someone says or does. It's so good that you were able to express it here and try and get the hurt out of your system.Sending you love, along with everyone else xxxxxxxoooooo.

Anonymous said...

U ok now na ?
Hope you are.
Love you babe.
Smile and shine.
*hugsss*

starbender said...

Geeze----I'm always at the bottom over here! :"(

Keshi-my heart has been ripped from me soooo many times that there is a large hole in my chest--U can just reach in anymore and take my heart right out! (not really-but it feels that way!)
No one really knows what I go thru every day of my life just to keep my kids safe in this world.
Is there really a light at the end of the tunnel??? My tunnel seems to be connected to another tunnel, and another, and another.....

I have lost everything I own many times over the last 25 yrs. (except my kids) Life has been very difficult, I have raised my kids mostly by myself, except for the last 5 yrs, I had some help. Christmas is comming and I have 5 kids to get gifts for--I'm not even sure yet how I will pull this off, but I keep my fingers crossed. (I don't enjoy this holiday any more)
Life certainly has not been what I thought as a child. The cold hard facts of life have more than set here. After every disaster--Life is good, until the next disaster sets in. Just remember 2 things:
1. That which does not Kill me, will only make me stronger!
2. This too shall pass!
Hope things get better for U soon!
~Hang in there~
: )

Anonymous said...

Storms don't rip me apart. I find those exhilarating.

And dear keshi, you are loved sweetie!

Cari said...

Keshi - I am so sorry that you are going through something so painful.

But your attitude is great! My dad always taught me and my siblings that with a good attitude you can overcome anything. No one can take that from you.

SO TRUE!

But, nonetheless - is still feel so sad to hear that your down...
wish me and you could go out and have a girl's night out! wohhoo!!

like u said ...

when u used a storm as the metaphor for ur situation

just like with any storm this too shall pass.

-ct

Priyanka Mahanta said...

Keshi girl feels sad and low...I don't like it. Dear, U r so beautiful, so hot, so talented. Then why do you allow someone to take control of your life or hurt U? Please don't accept anything from anyone lesser than what u deserve and U deserve THE BEST in life. This happens with me all the time. But after so many storms now I have nothing to lose. These 'storms' have made me a strong person and now I can easily stand up to face such miserable situations. Now if anyone tries to mess around with me or my feelings, they have to think twice. Be strong, girl. U r more loveable than U know. Take care of yourself....

neihal said...

a BIG hug Keshi
and kudos to you.....for being the person you are :)
cheer up :)

Anonymous said...

Aww Keshi. A warm heartfelt, assuring you things will be ok kind of a hug for you!

I am glad you found the blog as a way to reach out to people and your friends.
All I can say is don't lose yourself but lose the person who hurt you real fast, cos you don't deserve them!

s0ul said...

hey kesh, i just read this post.. hope your doing alright by now... this is what i meant when I wrote my last post.. only difference being i was at the giving end and it tore me apart to think how the other must've felt..
sometimes it helps to just blank out.. dont waste your time thinking abt it hney.. dun let anyone break ur spirit or put u down..!
christmas is right around the corner. and i honestly hope all the cheer around you will help lift your spirit.. if not we're all just a click away girl!
take care and have a wonderful week hun..

*hugs*

-Princess Shin- said...

o one can better bask in summer's balm than those who have endured winter's bite. Similarly, it is those who have suffered through life's darkest hours who are able to truly savor the bright dawn of happiness. The person who has transformed the worst of fate into the best of fortune is life's champion.

-Daisaku Ikeda-

I hope everything is ok for you my dear friend. Hang in there ya.. =)

Anonymous said...

awww.. hugs!!!
"Have you lost your self completely that you begin to miss what you were before? Did someone ever steal your life that it seems it doesn't belong to you anymore? Did the storm leave you naked and in tears? Have you ever had someone laugh at your feelings as if you were nothing? Did you ever feel so hurt that there were no words to express it? Did you feel muted by that hurt itself? Have someone close to you ever made you feel that you are less important than the rest of the world?"

such powerful lines... I have felt them too sweetieee.... hope u better now..

also I came out stronger.. and much more stable than before... so smile :D

Anonymous said...

Keshi: Its take it for granted attitude for some people and you can never change them. Sometimes we realize the difference of good friends and newf riends who play pretty well.

May be she was angry with your popularity and showed her real mean heart.

PRADEEP K. said...

India = 91
Number = 93435 70996

Number: 91 93435 70996

Call me anytime you wanna talk.

Cheers!

amitsinha said...

hi keshi,

ur one of the most honest blogger I have seen on web. The words that come from your heart does make a difference to us readers.
when i was reading this storm.. my past came back to me. The memory which I want 2 forget, but it can never be disassociated with me. It still hurts but at same time encourages me in moving ahead. i would like 2 share my experience. I was a good student in my academics, but in my first year architecture, I was failed by a professor who didnt liked me at all. i dont think I deserved 2 be failed. the prof. also said that i am a hopeless student, but today I am one of the most succesful person passing out of that batch.I wanted 2 go and slap that Prof..but my respcet towards teaching community stopped me.
keep writing gr8..

starry nights said...

Keshi my dear...I will be there for you. if you ever need a friend to talk to I will be here. I am just an email away. I wish I was there to just give you a hug. You are such a warm, sensitive and caring human being.And this comes from the bottom of my heart.I have been in a storm before and have felt washed out but after the storm and after the dark clouds have disappeared, there is always some sunshine. I am not going to say that it makes everything allright because it does not. what you feel in your soul is there.But dont feel too sad. Some people are just unkind and dont mind hurting others.You have brought so much sunshine into my life Keshi.I dont think you know it, but you have made me smile so many times.I have been sad and then your post has brightened up my day.I just cannot think of you being sad. I hope by now you are feeling better. Take care.you are thought of and prayed for.

The Phoenix said...

It will get better...

Arz000n said...

Morning morning K0000kie masta :)))

How you doing today??

Droppped by to check out how things are for ya before heading in the kitchen to cook ma dinnner....grrrrrrrrrr.... I hate that :)))

hehehehe...no wonder I faint all the time :P

Yeah...was having mango drink...you are always welcome :)

hugzzz and keep smiling :))
Greetzzzzzzz

Anonymous said...

Hi Keshi!
I like to listen your prefer sweet music.
Did you know this site - why me?
http://iwasbornthisway-allison.blogspot.com/2006/12/why-me.html

Meg said...

Do you realize that if the people you touch could take away even a bit of your pain you would be pain free for the rest of your life?!? You are to blessed to be stressed, to annointed to be disappointed.

Take care of yourself Keshi girl...

Anonymous said...

storms are wanted
too much of calm puts u to sleep

as Don Corleone says
every now and then we need gang wars
to let out the bad blood

its only in stormy weather
u come to know your real friends

Anonymous said...

Keshi babes... You are one lucky person... the comments here are so touching and wonderful and goes to show that you are not alone and you have everyone's support and shoulder from all timezones if you need.

I have been reading your posts for a while now. It is said that you can tell a lot about a person from the words they choose to use. I can gather that you are a very sweet and a caring person and always helpful to everyone around you. A little too sweet and caring that you let people trample over your feelings. People dont hurt you Keshi, you let people hurt you. I would ask you to start kicking butts around so people stop taking you for granted.

Big huggsss to you. You will be fine, just let out the anger and snap out of it. Make sure no one ever does that to you again. ever. You are always in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

we gotta patch it up baby

patch it up baby
its christmas time

Homo Escapeons said...

I have been through the valley of evil many times, but I fear no evil,
because now I carry a big stick and I am the meanest badass mutherf%$#@er in the whole damn valley!
Next time just e or gmail me!

Keshi said...

Kumar for sure u'll make a wonderful date ;-)

-----------------------------------

Hugggggggggz KK!


-----------------------------------

Seema ty so much. ur that angel HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

I know time will TC of this...but I made a BIG decision yday and Im glad I could make it. So it looks like things r gonna be alrite sooner than I thought. TY :)

-----------------------------------


Visithra I know it makes us all stronger...thats for sure. ty n HUGGGGGGGGGZ sweetie!


-----------------------------------


ty WW Hugggggggggggz!

**But are you sure you're not overreacting?

No mate..I wish I could tell u ALL the details...but Im unable to do that. It's indeed affected my life forever. It's a very serious matter. But there r ppl dear ones involved in this that I dun wanna trash em here. It's not my style. So thats why my post may sound like a pity party (cos of lack of details) when it's really worse that what is written here. I really toned it down :)

but I know wut u mean...whatever they said should not affect me...but it does affect me immediately. Harsh words, abuse, embarrassment infront of other ppl, they all affect me. And I know I dun deserve that and thats the worse part. I know u dun get to hear the other person's story in my blog so u cant really tell who's at fault. But trust me, Im dealing with something I shouldnt have to. U just have to take my words for it mate.

Hugggggggggz n ty, I aprreciate ur very wise advice. I'll keep that in mind.



Keshi.

Keshi said...

yep Yash I laugh too...when the hurt is too much I just smile/laugh cos tears dun seem to be enough. I sometimes just cry and stop in the middle of it and laugh. Cos I feel it's not helping me ease the pain. Ur absolutely right :)

**but atleast, i'll make you feel better by telling you that they are other equally misfortunate (or should I say, fortunate?:)) like you and me.

awwww HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ I love u Yash! U have always understood my feelings fully...like we've have known each other somewhere in the past...in another lifetime. thats why I luv ya. Im here for u too baby. Always know that.

-----------------------------------

Margie I prayed last nite too and I got an immediate ans (it looks like ur prayers for me got answered)...I'll tell u all abt it. HUGGGGGGGGGGZ n ty so much!


-----------------------------------

Thumbelina MWAHHHHHH! Im ok dear. Just didnt have much time yday to post a new entry. I will do it today :) TY!

-----------------------------------

Kautilya yes it's a brand new day and now it's a brand new Keshi too :) Cos the storm washed away all the fakes...I realised who was just hanging on to me for the sake of it...the storm washed away all of em.


**the fact that u stood strong right through the storm.. is so.. satisfying and well.. u r taught some lessons the hard way....

yes I did...and I made a pretty big decision yday.

ty I appreciate u being here for me. HUGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

Prachi I hope ur doing ok this week??

**Whenever you want a hug.. my arms are wide open for you. Whenever you want a shoulder to cry.. mine is there. N even if you want a company to cry.. I am there! N yeah.. You don’t need to say thank you for that :).. it’s always my pleasure.

aww those words had me in tears. HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ! Ur a heart-warming spirit Prachi. I LOVE U. And I will always be here for u too. Always know that.

-----------------------------------

ty soooo much Contented that means alot to me HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------

heyy sweet Butterfly ty so much!

**Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us. --

Spot on! I will keep that in mind. Cos thats so true..I let ppl walk all over me. Not anymore. TY so much and I will be in ur blog soon. yday was a very busy day :(

-----------------------------------

Grunto heyy HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ! :)

** I must say, for the brief time that you have been on my horizon, you sure have been an uplifting influence on me.

awwww...well we all have gone thru total shit ha :):) Well atleast we r here for each other.


**This is why I keep blogging and why I haven't written that novel yet;) I will make time for that soon, though.

LOL ur sooo funny! But I do hope u write that book cos I'd be one of te first to buy it ;-)

tnxxx mate!

-----------------------------------

Lee I felt ur love...ur so sweet. ty so much n HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

I think it's my fault...I care too much and I let ppl hurt me over n over again. It's not gonna happen again. Thats for sure.

-----------------------------------

Cinderella Im alrite sweetie, ty so much! Huggggggggggggggz n smiles :) Luv ye!

-----------------------------------

Star I didnt know u were goin thru so many tough times...WOW Im so sorry to hear all that. HUGGGGGGGGGGZ baby!


** My tunnel seems to be connected to another tunnel, and another, and another.....

well guess what...thats exactly how I feel too. It goes on forever but I havent given up on looking for that light. But then I realised the light should come from within me. Im that light and I must guide myself thru the darkest tunnels. Some ppl find the light anywhere they go w.o. ay effort on their part...but some of us have to create that light from within us and use that as our light.


ty for ur words of encouragement...I will always keep that in my mind. HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ again sweetie!

-----------------------------------

Gautami tnxxx!

yeah after the storm has passed, u feel an immense peace. U have suddenly grown and become stronger that ever b4.


-----------------------------------

Cari I really do wish I could go out with ya girl...wud be so nice HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!


**My dad always taught me and my siblings that with a good attitude you can overcome anything. No one can take that from you.

aww ur dad is absolutely right! The attitude is something no one can snatch from ya. Thats so true.

I will keep ur sweet words in mind and I will always rem ur dad's words when someone tries to dampen my spirits. ty baby!

-----------------------------------

Priyanka u really made me stronger with ur words of wisdom. they really lifted me up. ty so much n HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

**Now if anyone tries to mess around with me or my feelings, they have to think twice.

definitely! Who can mess with such a hottie like u :) Ur unconquerable. Luv ye!

-----------------------------------


Neihal HUGGGGGGGGGZ sweetie!

**and kudos to you.....for being the person you are

ty so much and same goes to ya :)




Keshi.

Anonymous said...

u cant really tell who's at fault
it dont matter

who r v to judge?
its all probably a misunderstanding

but even then u hurt
the more u love the other person
the greater u hurt when it turns sour

and then u start to hate the person u once loved

the trick is to sit back and watch from a distance
and try to find a reason to laff

dats the only way to preserve our sanity in this Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

-says Alfred E. Neumann

and of course lissen to the Budha

Keshi said...

Sanjay tnxxx matey HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!

**All I can say is don't lose yourself but lose the person who hurt you real fast, cos you don't deserve them

yeah ur right...cos I gave this person so many chances to work things out with me. And now I realise that person will never change and we will never get along. So Im done and Im going far away from that person. I made a big decision yday and Im glad abt it.

-----------------------------------

Purnima HUGGGGGGGGGGZ n ty baby!


**only difference being i was at the giving end and it tore me apart to think how the other must've felt..

Isnt that great u realised it? Cos not many ppl realise that they r the ones who were at fault. It's so hard for us to accept we r hurting someone else and we always think that we r the ones getting hurt. Im a very fair person. If Im wrong I have the grace to accept that and I have done that b4. Just like u, I think abt the other person's feelings. I really do. But I know for sure that Im not at fault in this situation. Everyone else knows that too but they asked me to keep quiet and make my own decision this time. So yeah, Im happy I made that final decision yday.

yeah i know..it's Chrissy all ard and Im having to go thru all this shit...I didnt expect it but then again life is full of surprises isnt it :) I'll cope. And I have big changes in January. I'll keep u all posted abt it. ty so much sweetie HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

G'day Princess!

**The person who has transformed the worst of fate into the best of fortune is life's champion.

I loved that line. ty so much. it's soo true. Im a better person for goin thru all this shit...cos I know real pain and I know what it is to get trashed for no fault of mine. Now I can withstand any weather. ty sweetie!

-----------------------------------

Ego huggggggggggggz n ty!

**also I came out stronger.. and much more stable than before

definitely! Thats the best result of the storm.


-----------------------------------

Priya thats absolutely correct. It's called 'taking for granted'. Lets see how this person is gonna deal w.o. me in their life. I know it's gonna be a loss, I know that for sure.

-----------------------------------

Praddy that touched me so much TY! U r sooo sweet. HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

I have ur number anyways :)

-----------------------------------

Amit ty so much for ur very kind words.

** wanted 2 go and slap that Prof..

LOL haha. U should have done that na. And told him how well ur doing now.

Well some idiotic professors r like that...ppl who arent professional. They keep personal grudges. Thats ugly. U should go and tell him that now. Dun slap him...just tell him what he did was wrong and prove it with how well u have done now.

ty so much Amit!

-----------------------------------

Starry that was a very heartfelt comment...tnxx tonz sweetie. HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!

**Some people are just unkind and dont mind hurting others.

yes..and Im a fool..u know why...cos knowing that there r very mean ppl who dun change, I keep forgiving em and going back to em to get walked all over. I have done that over the years. Now I know I should stop the nonsense.


**You have brought so much sunshine into my life Keshi

awww those words mean alot to me. U too have made me think, feel, smile and wanna live so many times b4. HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ and u have a beautiful day Starry!

-----------------------------------

Phoenix it already has...cos I made a pretty big decision yday that'll help me live my life peacefully in future.

TY!

-----------------------------------

z000nie thats so sweet of ya to check on me..ty and Im fine. HUGGGGGGGGZ!

**Droppped by to check out how things are for ya before heading in the kitchen to cook ma dinnner

haha so sweet! Wut u cooking? Apples and scotch? LOL! or just trouble? :)

-----------------------------------

Krys heyy ty I will check that site for sure HUGGGGGGGGGZ!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Megzzy heyy!

**Do you realize that if the people you touch could take away even a bit of your pain you would be pain free for the rest of your life?!?

thats so true. And look at all the Love I have here WOWWWWW!


**You are to blessed to be stressed, to annointed to be disappointed.

yes I believe in that. ty so much n HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ! U TC too sweetie.

-----------------------------------

Anonymous heyy!

**its only in stormy weather
u come to know your real friends

for sure..ty!

-----------------------------------


Ari heyy ty so much! Cmon I aint so special...:) Im just a dreamer...Im not the only one ;-)


**People dont hurt you Keshi, you let people hurt you. I would ask you to start kicking butts around so people stop taking you for granted.

thats so true...I allowed em to hurt me. I will never let that happen again. The only reason I put that off for so long is cos this involves a very special person in my life too...someone who's very close to me. So cos of that person I delayed making firm decicions. But yday I did and Im gonna stick to it.

ty Ari ur awesome!

-----------------------------------

Anonymous

**patch it up baby
its christmas time

I know..but Christmas dun take away the feelings someone left in u.

-----------------------------------

HE matey hows u?

**because now I carry a big stick and I am the meanest badass mutherf%$#@er in the whole damn valley!

LOL I can picture ya with a big stick and a mean look. hahaha!

tnxxxx n HUGGGGGGGZ!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Anonymous,

Buddha has always been my guide. Or else I would have ended up abusing ppl the way that other person did to me.


Keshi.

PrAcHi said...

A hug back to u sweetie! :). I know u will be there whenever I need. You WERE actually.. remember my latest post? You made me smile :). You always do!

uttara said...

try to sway with the wind else u cant withstand the storm

n ye u can buzz me anytime .. always there for u to have a longggggggg chat..lolz

as raj said u cud have called either of us .. we r here for u
hugggggggggggz
take a deeeeeeeeep breathe n think of all the good time u had with me n raj n laugh ur gut out
muaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
u will feel better if not we wil tell raj to do striptese ( longgg due)
lolzzz

Keshi said...

Prachi we r connected forever now...there's no turning back :) HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!

-----------------------------------

Uttsy mwahhhhh! Got ur msg on my fone...sweeeeet ty! Will call u soon.

I came online and emailed u...didnt wanna call n disturb ya...I mean I wudnt have a clue where u wud be on a Sunday afternoon Aus time :) but tnxxx, I know u will always be there for me...I just know that. HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

lol @striptease!

Keshi.

Dawn....सेहर said...

Hey Keshi dear....all I want to do now is bring you close and give you a big HUGGGGGG
I can very well relate as I have gone through a situation like this and believe me if there is someone whom we can share this with...then its nuch relief to us...but that also doesnt happen...as we are really on a testing scale!
Life is sometimes harsh and you know what...take it as a challenge and give a tough fight!
You have to tell yourself...'I am Keshi and I aint gonna take this crap and sob always...am going to fight this out and be strong dear!
I wish I was living near you coz then I would have been that person who would have been your best friend who would make you laugh and listen to all your talks :)
I am glad that you think we all are there for you :)
Lots of love and Hugggggggggggggs to you my dear...time will pass and this situation will also pass ...the dark night...has to pass to let the dawn in ;)
smile dear!
Cheers

Keshi said...

The Dawn has come indeed. HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

** wish I was living near you coz then I would have been that person who would have been your best friend who would make you laugh and listen to all your talks

those words were enough to keep me going for a very long time...ty so much! I really felt so loved as I read ur comment.

ty so much MWAHHHHHH! I will fight it for sure.
Keshi.

Anonymous said...

hey girl! I tried commenting earlier.. network was down.. just wanted to tell u.. I've been thro the storm too! HUGS! I think we come out of it as more aware and mature and more cautious than before. It kills the innocence but I think its for the better!??

Muah!! hugs!

-the-ego-has-landed

Keshi said...

EGO hugggggggggz!

**think we come out of it as more aware and mature and more cautious than before. It kills the innocence but I think its for the better!??

aww I appreciate u telling me that...cos it's so true. From all these storms we become better-prepared for the future. Thats for sure. ty n hugggggggggz!


Keshi.