Friday, January 12

My Best Friend's Wedding

How would you feel if a good friend of your's didn't let you know he was seeing someone and is about to get married, and then all of a sudden you hear it from someone else? Well that happened to me during my Chrissie break. A very close guy friend of mine (who was also interested in me at one stage although I wasn't interested in him in that way) is about to get married, and I got to know about it when he came down to Sydney on holz in Dec - ah ah but I didn't get to know it through him, now let me tell you the story!

Let's call him M. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I need to be told about everything that's
happening in M's life, but he and I were pretty close, and we did share alot of things between us. We fight alot too and then we always get back together. I could call him my best guy friend in Syd, yeah that's right we were pretty close with each other for years. M left Syd in Oct for work purposes and kept in touch with me too. Well one night in Dec I went out with my friends, and one of them told me 'hey Keshi do you know M is getting married and he's going to be in Syd next week?'. It was like this huge nuclear bomb falling on my head! Not cos I was jealous (please I'm not jealous!) but it came to me as a total shock, cos I had to hear it from someone else and not him. I'd have imagined M telling that to me himself. I was like 'whaaaat, really, he didn't even txt me saying he was coming down??'. And then my mood sorta changed (you all know what an A-class drama queen I am). I guess the girl who told me the news saw it in my eyes that I was a tad shocked so she stirred it more by giving me detailed info about his girl, wedding plans etc about super bitchdom guys!

Anyways, days later I met him at a family party and guess who he was with...his brandnew
fiance, holding hands and introducing her to everyone around. He saw me from afar but he didn't even bother to say HI. He just smiled and nodded from afar, that's all. Why is he like that? I'm seeing him after about 2 months since he left Syd and yet he didn't wanna say HI to me? That was very strange. Anyways it may have been cos he was with his girl. Well after a good 20 mins or so, he came upto where I was, and I felt a lump in my throat...only cos this was a guy I knew so well - almost like my brother and to see him acting so strange was hurtful. So he intro'd me casually to his girl and that was it, he quickly went away with her. Huh! I didn't let that spoil my mood though cos after all I felt that M must be feeling odd for some reason that he might explain to me later.

Next big shocker...2 weeks pass without meeting him again at all and no txts nothing, and I hear from that same girl that he had left Syd already! What, even without txting me a goodbye?? Now you must be wanting me to calm down and probably thinking I have no right to feel this agitated...but hey that's so not M! He's such a chatterbox and txts me all the time about this and that. So to leave Syd without even saying goodbye to me was not something I was prepared for. Well I just kept quiet. In my mind I thought that he'd become a mega snob after meeting his fiance and maybe I'm just a stupid fool (nothing new there) to think I meant something to think that I was a friend he valued.

Next shock revelation...just today (after about 2weeks since he left Syd) M txts me saying he's
truly sorry about how everything took place and how he left even without a goodbye (told ya so that that was so not him!). But this time when I received his txt I didn't feel the same as before. Why? Many reasons for that. Firstly he never told me about his GF when the whole world seemed to know about it. And then he came down without even telling me he's gonna be here for a break. Also the way he behaved at the party like I was a stranger was too painful to even imagine. And then he left even without a goodbye?? All of that made me feel like I'm not even a remote friend in his life. So WTH was I thinking all this time? I told him exactly that as a reply to his txt. He said he couldn't talk to alot of people, not just me and then I said 'Im not alot of people!'. He was sorry and hell yeah I'm sorry too...I'm not gonna cop bullshit from friends this way again. If you're a friend, show it...words don't prove nothing...your actions speak volumes. When your friends meet new people and are among them with you, you can really test the genuineness of the friendship. I'm talking with blockbuster experience here aha!

Have a good one guys.

Current Music: Don't Speak by No Doubt

107 Cranium Signets:

Kalpana said...

A bad experience. When friends behave like this, we do feel hurt. How much ever busy a person is, a friendly smile will work out. Cheer up. People like this will come and go in life, atleast once. I too had some bad experience early.

Anonymous said...

A big HUG dear!
cheer up!
waise I know you are not the kind who ll sulk:)
I have been there, been hurt, and it is very disturbing I know.
" When your friends meet new people and are among them with you, you can really test the genuineness of the friendship"
Very true :))

Jewel Rays said...

Hello Keshi..

I honestly thought that was one of the most awesome post. So real , true, transparent and thought provoking as well. lurve it.

And ya guy friend seems like he has a problem or an unsettled issue to deal with.

If you're a friend, show it...words don't prove nothing...your actions speak volumes. When your friends meet new people and are among them with you, you can really test the genuineness of the friendship. I'm talking with blockbuster experience here aha!

I love that statement and it is OH SO TRUE!!!

*hugs* thanks for this post sweetie. Something i would re - read again.

and oh yeah.. i may take up that last post tag of urs..:P ;) thanks!!


Anonymous said...

Hey, don't you despair. M sure did wrong, but he must have had his reasons.
Friendship, I agree, it calls for showing one's affection, in more ways than with words. You are absolutely right.

Sujit said...

cheer up!.. you are his freind.. and have every right to ask him..why he treated you like that!.. when people meet new ones... they get so facinated that.. old ones becomes.. negelected.. unfortunately this is true.. and happens to!.. and the ones will still stick onto the old ones are rare jewels... and you are one of them :)..

Kumar Chetan said...

leave everything, wen r u going to invite me on ur wedding

fergal said...

hi keshi, sorry to hear about that unfavourable experience of yours ... quite wierd indeed ... i wouldn't really know; but i wonder if there is something wierd going on, which is making him act unlike the firend u r used to, perhaps? e.g. his fiancee is unexpectedly pregnant or something?? just a thought - i may b well of target there [?]


Anonymous said...

Hi Keshi, Happy New Year!!! Sorry about your friend. Don't be too hard on yourself ok.

Eclipsed Thoughts said...

Hummm..... funny sorta guy... ahem, i think it was all because he had some "feelings " for you and he was afraid that talking to you and getting close might rekindle those feelings...

Havnt come across such things in such a harsh way, but yes a teeny meeny peck here and there... usually those sorta guys are the ones who "once felt for you" and you didnot reciprocate!!!

Have a good day KAP...

Anonymous said...


We can never be sure about anyone else's action. We can only be sure of ours- our reactions, our talk etc.

When we try to match what we 'expect' and what 'happens', at times they don't coincide.

desperado said...

hmmm...happens ...has happened to me but not in such a big manner.
one thing i wuld like to say ..have said this before....even after all ur such experiences you are ready to trust people ad have faith in them n make new frnds...thts a grt quality and says a lot about you as a person ..i hope you keep doing that...cheer up girl
have faith

Anonymous said...

sometimes guyz can get a lil wierd ... may be he was that way coz he had feelings for ya b4 ... but u know him better :) ... but just remember guyz can get wierd ... they r not like women u c :D

just get on with those who need u now :)

** words don't prove nothing

shouldn't it be "words don't prove anything" ... I dun know why ppl use english that way ... americans I can understand ... they r cranky :D ... u 2


Anonymous said...

Hello Keshi!
Maybe there's something unclear on the other side....
Maybe he thought you might feel bad about...........:).

Because after all he shared everything with i think you must re think the possibilities...after all once in a lifetime you were good friend.:)

visithra said...

I posted something similar like this some time back - a very close guy friend who had liked me once suddenly got married n i found out from someone else - i still sent him my wishes - sometime later when we met he apologised for not saying anything to me - when i heard about it was really upsetting - so i know how u felt - someone told me maybe he felt uncomfortable about u being at the wedding - n i guess that person made sense - but the thing is he didnt ignore me - if he had i wouldn't have spoken to him again -

Anonymous said...

if i were you, i'll definitely feel the same... u r not wrong to feel hurt. what should you do then? i would say forgive and forget is the best option. But you need to tell him how u felt first.

then, if he keeps ignoring you, it's important that you keep other friends around to support you.

Anonymous said...

m pregnant, b the first to know



Anonymous said...

awwww that's sad Kesh,;);) i know the feelin' ,i had friend too before...i told u na and its still hurtin me everytime i remember him!actually i got offline message from him last xmas.... just sayin' merry xmas kathy! thats all...and maybe the next message will be after a year again lol! neway, i dun mind now coz i dun feel hes still worth to be a friend!

i just can't understand people who just come and go... like they own u and the world and when they feel to go, they just go w/out any word at all!

well, we still have true ones around us..just sometimes its hard to give our 100% trust na... but still i dun stop trustin anyone.

and oops i read ur comment on my blog.. dun be sad na ;(;(, yeah seems the closest bloggers were very busy , i can feel that too or am i belong to those who were busy? hehe....awww sorry! ;( :)

luv u babe and i'll always be here muaahh!! promise...

enjoy weekend!


Anonymous said...

hi Keshi,

Sorry !! This is not related to your current post & it is not for public consumption. 'Wonder if you have a snap of Anu (who passed away), or her address i sincerely want to go and meet her parents, just see her house, etc. write to me at

Anonymous said...

uupphhh.. shocks..
wen ur goin to giv him a shock?

Die Muräne said...

ah, come on! I think you totaly overreact, Keshi.

What if he couldn't talk to you because he felt so long for you (and knew you didn't share his feelings?) What if there was a knot in this heals and his heart for too long?
I'm VERY sure you still mean much to him. But he must decide!!
So give him a nice txt. show him that you still like and support him. so he can relax in the whole situation.
peace ;)

Anonymous said...

welcome to this side of the world...and you are well equipped now. people are that he has his fiancee he doesnt need a frnd...funny. people are such weirdos! happy...there will be other great people out there:)

and oh, I love Don't Speak:)

Anonymous said...

first let me >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D<(hug you and make you calm)...

This is not good on his part.If has some missunderstanding he must clarify it with you.

I have live expe in my life.My dad and his friend who share close friendhsip for 25yrs ,in fact very close now dont talk with eachother.there was misunderstanding which is not clarified till date.There friendship was respected and well known in our family as well as in our society.But gap of conversation and clarification made them away from eachother.My dad thinks that he will and talk and my uncle thinks that my dad will come...

So honey i suggest u talk to him once that what made him to behave in such way...coz it takes long time to build good friendship


Take Care

Anonymous said...

strange, it hurts but u did expect such end! no?


Anonymous said...

why do u allow men play their games ... there always mb another girl involved too


Anonymous said...

Heyyy Keshi Cheer up girl. You think & feel exactly like me. He was wrong, he might have some reasons but yeah, this is no reason not to tell you.

** If you're a friend, show it...words don't prove nothing...your actions speak volumes....I fully agree with you and always say the same.

What a lovely post you've written today, one of your bests.

Anonymous said...

Sad to hear that. I think, If you believe he is honest with his explanation of not communicating with you,then you should forgive him. If not, you know what to do....don't you??

Chin up girl!

I am just doing fine in this fluctuating weather...:)

Jeevan said...

I think it was close to my disappointed days recently with my cousins who met others house and avoid mine. I too feel bad about M's behaviors, but a true friend should understand his friends mind, how they would feel, if we do this or that.

Don't make with it again and again, just relax and enjoy the weekend:) hugggsss!!

As we are near our festival days pongal, I would be off from blogging for few days, will be here again on next Thursday. Wish you a Happy Pongal dear:)

Anonymous said...

//If you're a friend, show it...words don't prove nothing...your actions speak volumes.//

I feel the same ..

Anonymous said...

Hey Keshi dear...that was a bad one..but thats life..people come to ur life...become part of ur life and then suddenly leave ....when they get new people around...but mebbe he wants it this way ..or mebbe his girl doesnt like him talking to u...whatever be the sure he wudnt have left like that if there wud have been no just chill and try to put urself in his shoes..everything's gonna be clear to u!!
Take care

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear this. You can always ask him non-confrontationally as to why he did not tell you.
There is a possibility that he might have had feelings for you or thought you had feelings for him and he did not and did not want to hurt you?
Or this is just some misunderstanding, you won't know till you ask.

Anonymous said...

The guy really messed up big time. He really did...

Anonymous said...

hey sweetie you had every right to be upset by his actions.
My thoughts are he still has a thing for you and perhaps in some small way was trying to hurt you.
Hugs.big hug

Anonymous said...

may be he had a good reason which he cant tell you.. but.. well...who knows.

have a nice weekend kesh.

Neers said...

heyyy.... i know, it feels like crap when friends hurt!

Anonymous said...

if u ask me
i'd say Keshi is making a mountain of a mole hill

OK Keshi
u new the guy well, like soulmates,
like buddies

but dat was a long time ago
tings change, feelings change,
u change, he changes

its the way it is
u gotta accept change
when it happens

dont live in the past
nostalgia is fine

but only on Auld Lang Syne day
u r an ass

Anonymous said...

she talks like an angel
looks like an angel

but she is a damn phool
right Chetan ?

Helen said...

hey keshi,

The time in your life when all of your friends start getting married, and the ties that seemed as unbreakable as an iron chain are realized as sweet, transient daisy chains is very, very difficult. Don't forget the old adage "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime..." The difficulty lies in discerning the difference in the relationships when it seems you'll always be the tightest of friends. Cherish the friendship you did have with M, it was real and true at the time. Not everyone is as blessed as you are to fully appreciate the people in their lives.

He obviously knew he hurt you (txting you after he was gone, what kind of backbone is that?), my only guess is that he felt more strongly about you, but in a possessive committed way (not love). Guys are funny, they like their ducks in a row, their decks stacked, and relationships tidy and defineable. And they'll moderate their worlds to get what they want. He found a gal that would fit his world, and couldn't wait to parade her around as his fiance. Just a guess, though.

No worries, just recognize the patterns and signs in the future, so it doesn't come out of the blue, and be open to it for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Lera said...

Sometimes Keshi, a betrayal in friendship is devastating ,These days,living in a virtual world ,we are never sure about who's a Real and not so Real .

Keshi Happy Pongal and a great weekend :)

Anonymous said...

yea... and suddenly u realise that the person was with you all this time beaoz u were the best option around, and not bcoz ur truly valued.... can be very humiliating... but then you have to risk humiliation for a true companion....

-Princess Shin- said...

YEah.. i get wat u mean. You were such good friends with this guy and suddenly he treats you like that. But try and understand him. Maybe he has some other reasons behind this. Give him a chance to explain. Cheer up ya!

Homo Escapeons said...

HE 'prolly' (that's strine)feels weird because
HE may have some residual feelings for
YOU and maybe
HE doesn't want his fiancee to know...
YOU decided that
HE wasn't THE ONE anyway so maybe
HE is conflicted about showing
YOU that
HE found somebody else so nyeh!

Life is different in your 'twannnies' (more strine) because after having spent years of school/uni where you have been surrounded by hundreds of people all of a sudden your 'peer group' starts getting whittled down to a dozen or so..and then people pair up and bugger off.

'Wottayvah'! (that's strine too) You just make the most of it because you can only really handle a handful of rw 'flesh friends' anyway...and you always have us 'cybahfranns' (yup) to talk to and share your secret 'thoats' with.

Anonymous said...

You don't need to grow
melancholy sweeheart may be
there was a reason..Cheer up :)
Always look at the brighter side
of the situation he said sorry to
u anyways :)
Hugs for u :)
I'll invite ya in my shadi don't worry ;)

Stay Beautiful..!!

pria said...

Keshi: A good friend will never hurt his/her best friend. If its a situation then its ok to understand. I think he was choosy and letting know his gf to you due to his insecurity. May be he was scared to see your face as he liked you.. Some peoples behavior can be seen in few occasion like this and don't take it hard coz such friendship never stays.

Anonymous said...

have a positive attitude dear. He must be having a reason. You see, he knew that he could meet ya properly. That means he cares about this relationship, relation b/w you and M

starry nights said... had a right to feel the way you do.You are absolutely right when you say"Actions speak volumes".Just think you dont need a friend like him.There are many people out there who would love to be your friend.take care and have a good weekend.A pecial big and warm Hugggggggggz to you.

Anonymous said...


It's bloody hot in Melbourne :)
I love the city though. We are in the town for next 2 weeks, came by to watch Hewitt go down in early rounds :)


Anonymous said...


And on a quick note, your friend couldn't tell you all about his brand new fiance n' rest cuz he once carried a soft candle for you. He didn't exactly know how to tell you all about her. You never tried to find a boyfriend in him but he did find a girlfriend and perhaps much more in you at one point of time and because of this reason he was shying away to tell you anything about her.

And now that he is in this new relationship, the girl he's going to spend the rest of his life with, gives him little time to think or even associate with his loved one's (btw, it won't last too long). He knew all this while that he owe you. he was guilty, so he sent you an sms (he still doesn't know how to face you) but yes, his sms show his care for you. Telling other girl was easy, he didn't fall for her:)..

Give him some time and he'll come around.

extremely hot Stud in hot n' happenning Melbourne:)

samuru999 said...

Sorry to hear your friend hurt you Keshi.
I do hope the friendship will survive though!

Missed you!
I was not able to comment here earlier, so I left a comment on the previous post!

Thanks for your kindness when I was away at my sister's!

Hope your weekend is wonderful!


lee said...

keshi-the song you mentioned on the last post -the title is encouraging -but I don't know the song :).

Maybe his fiancee is insecure and doesn't like him being in contact with other women? But of course he should still have let you know what was going on in his life just out of common courtesy.Ah, that's men for you...

Anonymous said...

That really sucks. I would kick that guy's ass for you, if you want Keshi.

I had a friend do something similar to me. We were friends for many years. Even when I moved away we talked and emailed and saw each other when I was in town. She even came to visit me a couple of times.

But, not longer after I mved back to town she just up and moved away and never said a word to me that she was going to do that. Didn't say goodbye or answer my phone calls or emails or messages or anything.

A friend of hers said she thought I woudl judge her and she was embarrassed or something like that. She had known me for so long and she still didn't trust me.

Oh wait, this was about you wasn't it. Sorry about that.

Anyway, it's his loss. He thinks he can just throw away friendships liek that he's in for a big surprise!

Anonymous said...

I think lee has it - maybe (just maybe) his new gf would see you and your closeness as a threat and he didn't want (dare?) risk that.

It's a shame though - I have a lot of women friends (frankly they are more interesting as people than men) and I don;t think SWMBO sees them as a threat. But others aren't as understanding?

luvwannabefree25 said...

Hey Keshi.. I hate to say it but I think he had feelings for you and he was embarassed when he saw you at the party. If he didn't like you more than a friend he wouldn't have avoided you. That's one thought. The other would be that maybe he thought you liked him more than a friend and figured that if he told you it would bring your world to a halt. It sounds like it did anyway. Are you sure you didn't like him more than just a friend? hmm?? Either way, if he's really that important to you, you should try to work things out with him. To hell with is fiance if she is the problem.. or.. if she "is" the problem give them a few years.. he'll grow tired of that.. if you know what I mean.. either way... I'm here!!! ready to take you around the world with me.. what the hell are you waiting for@!!!!!!!


JD ;)

Mumbai Guy said...

Keshi, I think you can excuse him for his behaviour. If you and him were close at some point of time and that he had crush on you, possible that he is not very open wid you only coz he still has some feelings for you.

Such circumstances may keep him at a distance from you. Not saying he has done right thing but he may have his own compelling reasons.

Cheer up.

--Sunrise-- said...

ahhh Keshi... you want to let go of a friendship that has been a part of your life for such a long time, go because of these incidents...? Looks like there is something more to it... I dunno, just my two cents! lol... don't be offended...


Friends can hurt you, but only if you attach expectations to the friendship you give them.

Anonymous said...

Ya know...the human mind is quite complex.

Here he was all into you, way more than you were into him. In his mind, he thought that maybe he could be with you...have a relationship. But he goes off, he falls in love, but yet there is that tugging at his heart about the feelings he had for you.

Those type of feelings lead to guilt. And some people deal with guilt/disappointment by ignoring the source of those feelings.

So, he ignores you, and he can feel better about his new relationship. Crazy huh, but you have to place yourself in his shoes.

Going on what you say about him, I'd say that he still has feelings for you, and for him to jump into marriage right now, would not be a good thing.

But what do I know....I only went to school for psychology! :) I could be overanalyzing! lol!!

Have a great weekend!

Anonymous said...


Is it a post or a script of revised
"My Best friends Wedding." ?

Anywas the question in my mind is, do relationships mean to make life simpler or complex?

They are meant to make it simpler but they always end up making things really complex.(personal experience here)

U think he was "interested" in U.

Another complex thing here ... (God keep me out of this thing.)

I wonder if there is any relationship in between man-wife and brother-sister. I dont think there can ever be one.

Man and Woman cant be just "friends".
Dont read that as "just friends".

This is from a Guy's point of view.

He would not have felt interested talking to u coz he would have earlier felt that since u are not interested in him it is better to back of rather than pull someone into some mucky emotional pitty.
I may have done the same thing.

Wish that guy well and hope things settle down between him and his girl.

Hope to see a comment on the above "post" ... :))

Aidan said...

It is touch being a guy with a close chick friend.. Girlfriends and fiances tend to get jealous and suspicious of the best friend... Because they just assume that you are going to have some form of (delicatley put) "history". Every girlfriend (with the expection of my now wife) have been insanely jealous of my best mate.
We talk on the phone heaps, go out for coffee but if you saw us together we are just brother and sister... Dont be too hard on the guy:)

He probably should of fessed up though, or maybe he is still in part burning a candle for you and felt awkward...

By the way i love the way you write it has a real soul to it... keep up the good work


J. Andrew Lockhart said...

You know, it could be that the other girl is the jealous type and doesn't let him talk to you. I've seen that happen before.

Kavi said...

All of the world is a stage. We are all actors, and we have our entries and exits as well. Some of it in style, some of it in lousy style ! I guess we need to step back and watch the world and it acts ! The drama is better without expectations of any form ~

I know i am talking like a philosopher. But after reading through your awesome post and feeling 'that was me speaking', i thought i'd give you a state of my mind !

Anonymous said...

Felt very sad Keshi.... But push that aside and move on.... The world is so big... Hope you mind too is like that.... Great weekend to you! :-)

Shionge said...

Sorry about this Keshi but honestly I would interpret this as he still has some feelings for you and by not doing all that you've mentioned it means that he just want you to be jealous.

I hope I make sense see years ago, this guy wanted to woe me and what he chose to do was pretend to be friendly with another so that I could be jealous.

Either he is jealous or he is just trying to provoke you hoping that you'll 'boil' .....

I would be very angry too but now that you've seen his true colour in treating you like this....he don't deserve your friendship now.

Hugs & Kisses keshi!

Anonymous said...

1st a big hug for u, I can understand how u feel. one my friend did that to me as well, he come out to the whole world but not too me, can u believe that??

hey who know maybe M have feeling for you that is why he don't want to tell u!!

Anonymous said...

i understand how u must be feeling abt this keshi coz something similar has been happening with me. for years u are close to this person, very close and for some other frends the same person abandons u and behaves like a stranger. i feel so tempted to think and belive that the person is fickle...
at such times ppl honestly do not know wat to think and how to react except feel angry...
i hope u get over the hurt and things will be alright!
take care!

ps: i hav come to beleive now that this happens everywhere and with everyone in the world, especially with women!

Anonymous said...

Hi Keshi!
What a man! Always astonishing creature.
Have a great weekend!

Anonymous said...

that is so true and i know how painful it really must be to know that
I mean for an instance u do think u got someone pretty close to u and at the other moment he makes u feel as if u dont even exist!
really there is no point in hiding a thing if u consider the other as ur best frnd or someone to close
But there is a thing that, Atleast u were true on ur side
U did consider him close to u , u never failed him!
Nothing went wrong from ur side
just think of it that he screwed everything up and he doesnt value ur relation

Atleast u do value it and tats all wat matters:)

Anonymous said...

Way of life

And that is, sadly, the sorry state of affairs — with friends firmly remaining in the background (if at all) — which most women accept as a way of life. But, evidently, it isn't a healthy thing to do. "Trusted girlfriends are crucial to the mental well-being of every woman — she could be the mother, sister, colleague or an old friend," says Vani. Sujatha readily agrees, "Friends are like therapy." She adds, "It's important to learn to negotiate those fine lines that are drawn up after marriage, and keep everybody, including friends, in the loop." For if that profound (and terribly mushy) saying is to be believed, friends are the siblings God never gave us...

Keep in touch

If you can factor in a pedicure every month, you certainly can meet your friend for a cuppa... better still, meet your girlfriends in the parlour! Who better to save you from a silly hairstyle?
`Space' is an important ingredient in marriage... in fact, once the `honeymoon' is over, it wouldn't hurt to `chill out' with one's own circle of friends now and then.
Hunt down all your old friends, especially the ones that mattered most... and with e-mails, geographical distance really doesn't matter.
And finally, to all those exceptional women, who have managed to stay in touch with their friends — hats-off!

= Known Stranger

saby said...

awaiting does Psychology 101
and thinks dat she is qualified to be SEX COUNSELLOR

we at SEX COUNSELLORS resent dis

Ces said...

Keshi, I think this guy M must have thought of you as his girlfriend, otherwise he would have not acted as if he left you for another girl which was the way he was conducting himself. That's unfortunate because you thought you were friends. Perhaps your relationship must not have been clear to him after all? I understand exactly how you feel. I would have felt horrible being left out of such an important announcement about a friend.

The conclusion here seems that M has lost a good friend in you.

Anonymous said...

hey .. take it a lil cool ..
may b d guy didnt do it intentionally .. its jst happens ..

i mean evn i do it some times .. i jst feel tht things r too obvious to be told to someone .. nd tht sayin it isnt a big deal ... bt well later i do realise tht ppl like it whn u share ur things with them .. it makes them feel important ..

m nt defending d guy on this .. bt u nevr knw his reasons .. nd so i wud say tht just dnt forget ur frndship cause of an event such as this .. its more valuable thn nething ..

have faith .
anuj .

Anonymous said...

I can understand the upset, but since you do not know what was going on in his mind, which could be any number of things, leave yourself open, leave the door open. I'm sure you know in your heart of hearts that he would never intentionally cause you upset, at least it would seem that way to me since you guys were close over a long period of time.

Anonymous said...

Hey baby....leaving for B'lore rit no after about 2 hour. Have been o damn busy ev ince the new yea ha crept in my life....!

Havent read th entire post yet (I gota run so...) But I could gather that you're kinda pied off with your fren n0o telling you about hi marraige.

Same happened to me a few days back. One of my classmates got mid last month, She'd invitd the whole clas xcpt for a few ones. No that I aint in good terms with her, and th irony is that we'd met at coll rite the day before her wedding.

That life babe. Evryone has his own priorities. We have ours too, dont we ??

Anyway, missed ya helluva lots.
Hoping to get back o blogging real soon.You take care.


The Phosgene Kid said...

You're a knockout - he probably didn't want his new girlfriend to see you. I'll bet she's Beastzilla.

I'm not keeping any secrets from you, as far as you know!!

Keep the chin up!!

Anonymous said...

I was close to this platonic friend whom I called my B.F (Best Friend) & he would call me his G.F (Girl Friday)! We would share everything in our lives until his girl came along. Sadly she couldn't stand me & he & I would have frequent arguments till we fell apart one day. It took me 3 months to get over it.

Anonymous said...

Ohhh Keshi I am so happy for you. Not bcoz u got hurt bcoz bad people just went out of ur life on their own. Very soon you will realize that it was probably the best thing to happen to you but it will take time! cheers!

musings (m000nie) said...

it hurts bad!.. i know.. but then however bad they have behaved with u.. if u have cared for them once upon a time i dont think u can just stop caring.. ud b angry.. hurt.. but theres always the soft spot.. atleast thats what i have faced..

take care sweety.. hugss

Michelle said...

If you're a friend, show it...words don't prove nothing...your actions speak volumes.
u said it!

twistedtruth said...

Keshimamamia, let me repeat what someone has said. You are extremely hot. 400 deg F Farhenheit material. Now you friend is a smart guy. He knows that his his wife is gonna take one look at you, and think the worst. It's the eyes, see. And a couple of Christmas presents. You need to walk around in sunglasses. You are a positive danger to married mankind. No newly married wife is ever going to think of you and the male, as "friends". That's impossible. This is so amazingly simple. even if you meet him, DO NOT SMILE at him when his wife is looking. Merely lightly press a bun, and a wink, to show you are still good friends. That will do. That should set him right.

Ash said...

Cheer up.....sending you a big hug!

Anonymous said...

eh...that's tight! Obviously has some sort of problem if he is acting this way to you. Forget it...but I think perhaps give him a chance to explain for the sake of your friendship if you were that close. If you don't think it's satisfactory then you know what to do. People come and go and I know it might hurt now, but maybe you might be better off later :) Keep smiling Keshi :)

GuNs said...

I once called up a female friend a week after she told me that she's getting engaged later that month. We talked for about 10 minutes and then I hung up. She told me later when we met that she was out on a date with her prospective fiance and somehow she was continuously getting calls from her male friends and I admit she must have been in a pretty embarassing situation then but its good that her fiance is a really cool guy and he doesnt mind her going out shopping once in a while with her male friends and stuff like that.

Maybe M's fiancee wasn't that cool about these things. Maybe...

Why dont oyu ask him outright?


Anonymous said...

What to say?

Some friends leave us due to circumstances and some leave us without any reason.

A bit of conversation will do some mending work. [mutual understanding].

And on a diff note: we can make our minds, by thinking that they are not worth our frndship.

Anonymous said...

What to say?

Some friends leave us due to circumstances and some leave us without any reason.

A bit of conversation will do some mending work. [mutual understanding].

And on a diff note: we can make our minds, by thinking that they are not worth our frndship.

Anonymous said...

m..that just the way life is all about..It wasnt meant to be perfect..cheer up..

atleast this chap had the courtesy to message after that..guess there should be some reason for everything..

leave aside and move forward bud!!:-)

niki yokota said...

this kinda boy fren will call u after marriage, tell u how much hes unhappy without u.
i had a similar experience and kicked him out. :)
i think he didnt tell u becoz he was also thinking abt marriage with u and regrets being undecisive.
ive got a new keyboard. thanking u and have a good week ahead!!

Anonymous said...

Just move on. He does not deserve another thought.

The Phoenix said...

I'd say cut the guy a little slack. There may be things even he doesn't realize yet...things going on.

There's the whole jealousy thing with his new wife to be.

Or he might still having some feelings for you, and is trying to keep at a distance in order to not have those feelings surface.

Anonymous said...

Such a shame that he treated you this way. It's probably because he still has feelings for you and doesn't know how to deal with them. He knows there is no hope for anything between you, so he has moved on, but he doesn't want to talk to you about his love life.

Dawn....सेहर said...

hmm AS I was reading thru I thought he might have that guilty feeling since he had a feeling for u and then now he went for another gal..probably he is not able to face you or look into ur eyes...! And later when he send you txt...I think he is acting as if he is innocent..!
Don't loose your sleep on such things...infact u should ignore and let him feel sorry for the whole thing...!
Just chill and enjoy my dear
Hugggggggz n Cheers

Arz000n said...

Guys are always in a confused state of know it better :)

I still cant make out why he would behave in this manner, maybe some reasons of his own...but I think if I was in his position, maybe I too would have done something similar..I dont know...only time will tell...

You chin up gal...

Anonymous said...

A tough situation.

Perhaps, M was concerned how you would react to the news of his engagement?

This is not an excuse of course. This is how I see it:


Now, when Shawna and I hung out, and I told Megan, Megan was very clear that she was glad that she heard it from me, not someone else.

She said if she had heard the news from someone at work, she would have been quite upset with me, and I think that is understandable.

So, as far as I am concerned, you have every reason to be upset. But I guess the question is whether you and M are going to be distant friends in the future, or stay close.

Maybe he answered that question with his actions last month...

david santos said...

Vrey, very good.
Tank you

Keshi said...

thanks so much for all ur comments. Read each and every one of them. I feel that most of you are right...that he still has feelings for me. Or else he wouldnt have done such a thing.

But ofcourse, like u told me to, Im not gonna cut off all ties with him. He's still my friend, and I will be there for him.

WC all the new-comers to my blog!

tnxx guys HUGGGGGGGGZ!

SaffronSaris said...

Hugzzz Keshi!
That was soem weird behaviour, but mabbe his GF heard about you, and warned him off you, and he was just trying to please her?
I dunno, but what the heck, that's his loss!

Keshi said...

true Saffy :) no idea how a guy's mind works hehe.


PrAcHi said...

You remember some days back I also had written a post on this.. That why do people don’t behave same all the time? But this is life Keshi. And everyone is not as good as you are with them. I know it hurts.. like wound which keeps on hurting all the time. Though this is not acceptable we have to live with it! Someone had suggested me, which I liked.. ‘thats the life..just accept it and praise the lovely moments you have had with them..’.
BIG hug :)

Anthony Arojojoye said...

Maybe he felt more about you than just being a friend. He must have thought that his fiancee's place wld have been yours, and you might feel jealous.

He definitely wanted more from you.

Anonymous said...


By right, a wedding should be something to be happy anot, but this entry doesn't feel happy at all..

I can feel ur sadness & unhappiness as u wrote this entry..

Yes, its true. Very true. When ur best frenz gets married & doesn't inform u, instead u heard from someone's mouth, its definitely more hurting. Esp when u treated him like a brother & best fren. (I would feel the same too...)

Cheer Up! Dun brood over it.

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."

At least he called u to explain himself, although not in detail & still trying to find lots of funny excuses which sometimes doesn't link at all....

Probably he feels something more for u? He doesn't wan u to get hurt upon hearing his supposed-to-be happy news? Maybe actually he wanted u as his wife? Maybe he's afraid at his wife would get jealous & turns nasty to u? Maybe he is afriad of his wife? Hmm.. There are alot of maybes which we cant answer. Only he himself knows the answer.. (Smarties doesn't know the answer this time round... HeHe)

Sometimes ppl say, there are alot of things tat can be used to "test" a friendship... Maybe he wasn't "ready" to be tested? Or should i say he has failed the test? Hmm...

Dun be sad for a guy like him. If he is worthy to be ur best fren, he'll do something abt wat he's done to make happy. :)

"It is surprising what a man can do when he has to, and how little most men will do when they don't have to"

Smile & cheer up! We are always here for u.

Dun worry, if i get married, i'll let u know! HeHe..

"So is cheerfulness, or a good temper, the more it is spent, the more remains."


Anonymous said...

Hi Keshi

I'm losing it. LOL

How did I miss this post?! LOL

I must agree with some of your readers that he thought you might be hurt, and he felt more for you than you knew. But it wasn't to be, and all parties must move ahead on the twisted road of life.

One question though: ever thought about writing romance novels, a.k.a. slut books?




Anonymous said...

Fair point... It's happened so many times...and I have done the same thing as you...I think u wud have cooled by now...

Keshi said...

Prach it sure is life...ppl choose to behave in a way that satisfies them so we cant really blame anyone...cos we r all the same :)

ty sweetie hugggggggggggggz!


Anthony I think the same...he still has feelings for me.


Thumbelina sweetie u make alot of good sense, ty!

**"It is surprising what a man can do when he has to, and how little most men will do when they don't have to"

I really like that quote! SO darn true.



heyya Bev hows it goin? :)

**One question though: ever thought about writing romance novels, a.k.a. slut books?

LOL hahaha good one babez. Mebbe I should write slut books and make some money ha? And I can do it under the pseudo name Slutina? ROFL!


KK u have done this to a friend too? awwwwwww....why do guys behave like that ha :)


Anonymous said...

**KK u have done this to a friend too?
I didnt say I did this to others... I meant others have done this to me... and I felt the same way like you and I have dealt the situation same way as you... gotit?????

Anonymous said...

did u read mine Keshi...or did it go missing?

mommyof2 said...

{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}} for you:-)

Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

People can be so weird at times!!

I tried commenting on this post some days back .. but it didnt lemme ... :(

Keshi said...

oh ok I gotcha KK :)


Ghosty I didnt get ur comment at all...




hehe true Cheesy. Wierd indeed!


Anonymous said...

hey this was the post you had told me to read long back...on complicated relationships..
I read it today!!!

Actions speak volumes...thats so true...i have been goin through a similar experience last few days..

I hope everything is fine betn you nd ur friend keshi!!!

its not always you land up with good friends!!!

cheer up!
:) :)

Keshi said...

yes Preetha this was that post :)