Friday, September 14

An Officer And A Genitalman...

Last night was a horror story! And there were 2 Police officers in Keshi's house taking a statement from Keshi at 11pm in the night. Never thought I'd have the Police in my house! Guess what happened guys? Ok I know there's no way of you guessing what happened unless you yourself was one of the Policemen or you were a ghost watching what happened. Ok so this is what took place:

My aunt and uncle are currently visiting us from NZ and are staying with us right now. So they had a later dinner last night and were chatting with mum and sis in the lounge, and Keshi was washing the dishes in the kitchen as usual. It was about 10:20pm. Across my kitchen window, there is a fence that partitions our block from the next block...and my kitchen window faces the next block's main entrance that's on the other side of the fence. It's a bit dark there at night, and there are some trees and bushes as well. That block is a 3-storey unit block facing my kitchen window. Usually the Porch light from that block is on at night, but strangely it was not on when I was doing the dishes last as I was washing plates, I noticed that the fence area was unusually dark and was wondering why the Porch light was not on. Suddenly I saw a tall guy near the wall on that side, holding a small torch and doing something in the dark. I thought maybe the Porch light was not working last night, so someone was using a torch to get to their car or to walk past. ah ah I was very wrong!! Cos the next second he turned his entire body towards me, with his torch in his left hand held towards his genitals, and holding his penis from his right hand!!!! He was totally naked and he started masturbating near the wall, standing in the dark YUKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! OMG I nearly died a sudden dishwasher death LOL! I'm laughing now but I was so terrified then, I screamed 'OMG mum there's a naked guy in the bush!'. I dropped the plate in the sink and ran towards the Lounge! They all heard me and came running to the kitchen window to check what was going on. He was gone like a flash. No one was there anymore!

My sister immediately rang 000 (Emergency) and got the Police. They came over in 10mins. Got a long statement from me...6 pages and got me to sign. They asked me to tell everything that happened, including the description of the guy (I coudn't see his face at all cos I all I saw was waiste-down as he was holding the torch towards his frikkin HORSE dick!). He was a very tall, big-built, COCKasian guy - the torch helped me to identify that bit.They also asked me to describe what I felt when I saw him, and they also apologised for having to ask details about his genitals...goshh I was laughing inside but was trying so hard to keep a straight face as one of the officers asked me 'Sorry to ask this Miss.Keshi, was he erect at the time you saw him?'. I couldn't prevent a small giggle that came outta me but I'm sure the officers didn't mind that (btw they were 2 extremely HOT Aussie hunks...I didn't want them to leave my house awww..sniff sniff. Sometimes I do believe in God cos he sent me 2 perfect Police hottsters to my rescue...God is GREAT you know!). After a silly smile, I told them that I dunno about it being erect but he had a bloody big one LOL! I'm laughing now but I answered that question with a pretty serious face. Depending on all the evidence I gave, they suspected that it has to be a guy from the other block! Cos the Porch light that was not on when this happened, was suddenly on 10mins after the incident! So someone who had access to that light switch has to be the sex offender! And few mins later, we saw some guy looking at our house from a top-floor window in the dark! Later the Police went around to that block and searched the area for a while with flash lights, knocked on few doors in that block and waited on the street for about 15mins or so. Later, they patrolled the area for a while and they left. They were very helpful and quick to take action (btw I was drooling at the 2 Police guys cos imagine 2 6feet blue-eyed Aussie hunks in uniforms, taking a statement from me? Keshi has a thing for men in uniforms...Keshi was in pure bliss!) . They asked me to ring the Police immediately, if it ever happens again (Hell I will call them, no doubt about that ;-)).

The Police here take such incidents very seriously. Cos there are so many sex offenders/stalkers that have done/do horrible things to women. There are rapists who even attack 90yr old women! So ladies please be alert and notify the Police if there's anything that's bothering you...don't ignore anything at all! Cos minor acts that are ignored can lead to dangerous take immediate action! I'm not worried if this guy would come back, but I just get this eerie feeling that he's a silent stalker from the other block...that somehow worries me a bit cos I go home after work passing that very spot...and it's quite dark. What if he hid in the bushes one night and attacked me? The reason why I'm saying this is cos it happens very often here - sex offenders doing that sort of thing. Also, since I always do the dishes, someone must have been spying on me from the other block for a while, to have finally done that last night. And to me that is freaky! Anyways I better carry Pepper spray in my bag. So my Ted Bundy jokes are coming true? :( Hope not! And if there's a next time, I won't panick...I'd let the sex offender keep jacking off and I'd slowly call the Police, and they'd come around and handcuff him while his hand is still on his demented dick. And he can walk into jail wanking. Read the title clearly? :). My weekend will most likey be spent recovering from the severe trauma caused by the pretty BIG sight my eyes witnessed. Hope you have a better weekend guys!

oh my God, Mammaaaaa, someone stole my showercap, now can I call the Police? ;-)

Current Music: Sultans Of Swing by Dire Straits

140 Cranium Signets:

di.di said...

Thanks for reminding me that I always need to be cautious. We really need to get rid of all those sickos....

curryegg said...

Gosh! That's scary and disgusting. Anyway, you did the right thing. But I couldn't believe there is such a guy that do such thing in the bush... alone.. Lol...

And... I think you can call the police for the losing shower cap...


lee said...

Oh my goodness, keshi!!!! Another dickhead!!hahahahahahaha. I would be dying from repressed laughter trying to tell the coppers what happened!!! Ahh!!!!!! Why would that wanker want to do that outside!!

Keshi said...

Diva thats right. tnxx!


Curryegg ty!

**But I couldn't believe there is such a guy that do such thing in the bush... alone..

he faced his body towards me and showed me his dick with the torch light. wut a psychotic wanker!

I dun need a shower cap - I'm calling the Police anyways...LOL!


Lee lolz yep another dickhead!

It was so hard to stop laughing as the officer asked me abt the erect penis LOL! I think that wanker was erect from birth!


yrautca said...

Maybe he has a crush on you and wanted to show how much he loves you. Maybe you over-reacted ;)

Globescoper said...

Hi Keshi

I can't stop laughing. A picture of what we call a tactical force. (S.W.A.T.) This got me laughing too.

Are they going to shoot his cock and balls off?

I had to do a story a while back and had to ride with a couple of cops. It was cold and rainy when this dude jumps in front of the unmarked police car and flashes us. The cops both asked each other who was going after the guy. Then they decided they did not want to get wet.

The following night a K-9 unit got the flasher.

I never did ask were the dog grabbed the guy. LOL



Keshi said...

Yrautca I mite like to CRUSH certain parts of him too LOL!


hey Bevster!

I think he likes COK LOL!

**The cops both asked each other who was going after the guy. Then they decided they did not want to get wet

HAHAHA good one! Wankers r not worth the effort ha!


deepsat said...

OMG!! thats so disgusting!! hope they find this horse and cool him off somewhere!!!

from a certain perspective, its hilarious too!! LOL!!


Crazy Me said...

Ummmm ... ewwwwwwwwwwwwww

Keshi said...

Deepz the sight of the Police car must hv cooled him off instantly.



Crazy_me yep I was 'ewwwwwwwwing' the whole nite!


KAYLEE said...

is that really true? oh my god!

Southpaw unplugged said...

He was a very tall, big-built, COCKasian guy ****Bloody hell!!! Otherwise i thought the oldman travelled all the way to sydney to perform a live HNT...:)

Keshi said...

Kaylz d u think I'd make up a story like this? LOL! Goshh it was HORRIBLE. I'm still recovering from the shock.

Im a bit worried that he came so close...


Keshi said...

lol Southy u neva know!

Saby did ya?

Im laughing now but I was terrified last nite. :(

Hows u?


KAYLEE said...

//Kaylz d u think I'd make up a story like this? LOL! Goshh it was HORRIBLE. I'm still recovering from the shock.

Im a bit worried that he came so close...//


Keshi said...

Kaylz dun worry abt me. I'll be ok.

But Im scared lol!


Southpaw unplugged said...

Yeah i know i can understand that...
I m fine , how abt u?

Steph said...

I would have pointed and laughed! That would learn him! Dirty fucker.

KAYLEE said...

Keshi it aint that easy for me not to worry hehe especially when something like that happens:(

KAYLEE said...

keshi:we have like 5 known sex offender living in our neighborhood have i told you that?

Sujit said...

take care dude!..

Keshi said...

Southy Im fine..actually nah, Im still in recovery LOL! I may need dishwashing rehab.


LOL that'd hv been fun! I cud hv done that but wut wud my uncle think of me haha!

Dirrrty fucker indeed! I hope he neva comes ard my house again..cos if he did, he'd be fucking to jail.


aww Kaylz dun worry...I hv lived in my suburb for so long nuttin like this ever was only last nite and I hope it's the last one too.

**we have like 5 known sex offender living in our neighborhood have i told you that?

OMG REALLY? How d u live with those cockheads?


ty Sujit!

u ok?


KAYLEE said...

//OMG REALLY? How d u live with those cockheads?//

I dunno I am scared every day! I am so glad i am moving away from them soon!

Anonymous said...

COCKasian stalker? lol
awww im sorry to laugh..
the best way is to make a male friend walking with u.
let him see u are protected by a tall & built man like him.
i had avoided such a stalker in this way.
please take care!!

Keshi said...

Kaylz can I ask which State u live in? U dun HAVE to ans.

The suburb I live is pretty safe...this was teh first time I encountered a sex offender...well such a notorious one anyways! All my guy friends r sex offenders anyways LOL! U read my last post rite?



KAYLEE said...

Yeah i did read it I live i arizona!

Keshi said...

aww tnxx Niki!

**let him see u are protected by a tall & built man like him.

now where am I gonna find a guy friend like that? If u read my last post Niki, chances r I'd be walking with a stalker then LOL!

k kidding...ur right..I hv to think seriously abt it.



Romeo Morningwood said...

I guess that's why Cops call it walking the BEAT.

What is the current sentence in Australia for a STICK UP?

I guess I'm not too surprised.
Australia did start out as a PENAL colony.

Too bad they didn't catch him RED HANDED.

Good luck picking him er.. it, out of the police lineup...
can't wait for that POST.

Thank You very much Ladies and Gentlemen I'm here all week!

Sweetstickychewy said...

***they also apologised for having to ask details about his genitals..

Ok for a minute i was wondering if the police officers were having their fun with a serius face but when i read that they take this things seriously. I was like O.K. But beats me though. I mean how would the details of his genitals helps except for the idenitfication of his race..? ha!

hehehe..reminds me of one of my experience.:P

Shall try to keep it short and crisp and share.:P

Was one the way to the club with a gf one night. We were walking on a very dark road. A dark man sat down as we were approaching and seem to be in action. From afar saw that he was sorta doing something to his genital. Tot he was scratching using his phone. AS i got nearer. Realised that his phone was actually his Willy. And lol!! He was masturbating. I stopped, faced him and asked him if he wanted me to call the police. I started dramaing by putting my phone to the ear. The fella carried his opened pants turning away to run in fear pleading me to spare him. My gf was grossed. Did not feel fear. Dun know why. Perhaps cause i was with someone. But yeah, that guy was just someone on the street. The one might just be living next. So you take care Sweets and pepper spray, hard strong knees pointedly and pointed heels sounds awesome for a great willy kick.

*HUGGIZ* OOh lala about the hot Police officers!;)

Keshi said...

Kaylz tnxx!

Arizona is known alot for sex offenders isnt it?

TC girl!


KAYLEE said...

//Arizona is known alot for sex offenders isnt it?//

YES it is known alot for them and its scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

Anonymous said...

That's a freaky story ! I just love the pictures you choose to illustrate though... especially the one with the baking disaster !

I thought OZ was weirdos-free. I guess I was wrong. Oh well...

Cool story to tell !


Sorry for not coming over more often lately, I read you on my feed but I'm quite busy moving to my own domain. I'll be here more often very soon ;)

Sweetstickychewy said...

Apologies for my bad bad typos.:P Oopsy!!

Keshi said...

hey HE wuts walking the BEAT?

**What is the current sentence in Australia for a STICK UP?

I hv no idea mate. but the officers did say they wanna catch him straight away.

**PENAL colony.


**Too bad they didn't catch him RED HANDED.

LOL goodo!

hahaha funny comment HE...clever RICHARD u r ;-)


Amy tnxx!

** I mean how would the details of his genitals helps except for the idenitfication of his race..? ha!

at first I thought the same...but it later dawned on me that they need that to know that in order to clarify if he was actually behaving indecently or if he was just naked...the difference matters alot when it comes to LAW...when it comes to sentencing him if/when he's caught.

and tnxx for sharing that story with us Amy!

**Realised that his phone was actually his Willy

EWWWWWW wanker!

U r brave Amy. but u know if I was outside walking down the street, I'd ask the same. This was inside the house and so late at nite, and the site of the torch and the massive trauma-inducing organ freaked me out LOL!


ghost particle said... world is not weird anymore. all i need is to get a large bottle of vodka...drink it and go to sleep. now you Keshi, u stay safe you hear me. and I will but stop looking outside da kitchen window anymore. :p

Kay Vee said...

is jacking off in public listed a crime, as in a sex offense there?

last year i was in goa and my classmates had this ground floor room, which huge French windows. they witnessed the same sight, but that man was banging against the windows trying to get inside, jacking off at the same time. the girls were so petrified... man this kind of "exhibitionism" happens everywhere...i still don't get why men even have to scratch their crotch in public! thats another issue altogether, but pls take care keshi.

i mean if this is some kinda stalker, u better take a safer route to home, traverse by a bright street, with ppl around.
take care girl!

im so jealous of u...for the 2 officer hunks! sigh... i don't even get eye candy where i live :(

Rani said...

OMG --- THAT IS SOOO DISGUSTING. ewwww people get off in the weirdest manners. holding a light to his penis as he jacks off. im glad ure sister called the cops, its creepy.
when you see it in the TV - its funny, but im sure it was super creppy in real life.

Keshi said...

Kaylz Im glad ur moving states. HUGGGGGGGGGZ!


G'day Zhu!

nah we hv our share of Ted Bundys and 'Jack' the Rippers over here too :)

no worries @not coming ova often. :) TC n ty!


Amy no worries at all. Im always full of TYPOS too LOL!


hey Ghosty tnxx!

wut d u mean ur world is not weird anymore? :)

**you will but stop looking outside da kitchen window anymore

I cant help it...cos the Kitchen sink is with the window just above it :) Well if he ever shows himself there again, I told ya na wut I'd be doing...


Sweetstickychewy said...

I see..Hmm..about the police officers.

And yeah keshi, i believe your is more dangerous as the guy could just be living opposite and stuff. You take of your self sweetie.


Keshi said...

yes Amy Im worried abt my mum too...cos she's alone most of the time.

mebbe I should hire a part-time Lion to lookafter my house. LOL!



twilight said...

omg...disgusting pervert!!!

I know one can even sit and laugh it off later but right then it's got to be the worst thing ever.

And the underlying fear that this pervert could be a stalker, I just hope he's caught soon.

Right after the previous post, this sicko joins a list of losers :(

Keshi said...

Twilight tnxx!

It was the creepiest sight my eyes have ever seen! I feel like sending my eyes on a holiday...they need it badly!


uttara said...


keshi i too experienced similar thing when i used to go for jogging early morning with kavitha.. we saw a guy shagging but we couldnt help doing we dint carry cell phone.. he couldnt have hurt us as he was in the other side of the fence we ignored that bastard and carried on with our jog


wat SOB he was man.. i exactly know how eerie it feels .. YUKKKKKKKKKK

ghost particle said...

the only thing i see outside my kitchen window is my neighbor cooking, not naked men. hahaha....get you camera keshi and keep it in da ready. :p

Menchie said...

That is just sick!

But still....2 hunky police officers.....LOL!

Keshi said...

Trinnie tnxx!

**is jacking off in public listed a crime, as in a sex offense there?

yes! no one can do that in public!

**the girls were so petrified... man this kind of "exhibitionism" happens everywher

yes but that doesnt make it less criminal.

**i mean if this is some kinda stalker, u better take a safer route to home, traverse by a bright street, with ppl around.

yep thats what Im worried abt too. I hv no different route tho :(

dun b J trinnie...u'll get ur chance with the hunks too ;-) HUGGGGGGGGGZ!


yep was so scary when I saw it! Now Im laughing but at the time I was in full!

**holding a light to his penis as he jacks off

yep...a disgusting is his mentality!


AVIANA said...

Hey There!


That is utterly scary! I''m sorry but incidents like those freak me out. I never had anything like that happen to me but I'm a woman and I am always in fear.

I feel like I'm a sitting duck. I've been debating for awhile about taking a self-defense course. They have those out there geared for women in situations like those. You dont' have to take the classes for years like karate to know what they hell to do. Usually it's like a day or a few days. Just quick things to do to get you out of hte situation as quickly as possible.

I gave you my aol aim name and you got my chat box on my site.
if you wanna talk just give me a holla...maybe chat me at what time your time u'll be available and we can set up a time to chat at the same time...

have a nice one...i hope your trauma ends quickly... :)

Keshi said...

Uttsy tnxx!

EERIE it is!

well I know some ppl get off un public..but this guy faced me and was doing it like he knew where I'd usually be and like it was some TREAT for me? Fuckin eyeball-popping incident instead!


Ghosty I wont take pics of that HORSE dick. I dun want the chip to burn instantly!


Menchie u wudnt believe it...cos both the Policemen were HANDSOME tall and smokin HOT in that uniform :)

Im so happy that it wasnt an old guy or a policewoman who came for the inquiry. God rocks woot woot!


Aditi said...

first of all good thinking u called the cops.. and i woulda been freaked out too...
once i spotted someone (drunk or high) masturbating on the side of the streets facing the main road in broad daylight.. eww thank god the light turned green and i was able to get outta there...
and yeah its a good practise to carry pepper spray with u at all times.. believe me...
be safe keshi

Keshi said...

Heyy Lisssa how r ya? ;-)

**. They have those out there geared for women in situations like those.

I dun need those courses cos the moment a creepy guy comes towards me, I'd pass out.

I's a very scary thing to witness. Last nite I was in HORROR shock!



Keshi said...

Aditi tnxx!

that never happened to me when I was driving...hope it never happens!!


uttara said...

next time go out turn him around and kicks his brains.. oppps balls..:p

he will know wat he is actually shagging then:p


Keshi said...

HAHAHAHAHA Uttsy good one!!!

then I'd fork-lift his dick and stick it on his head.


anits said...

OMG keshi...that is really scaring... i understd your feelings coz ther was once we i was taking my bath and ter is one guy try to open d window..N i just shouted like no body business! and till now i have trauma on that... so all ladies please be extra careful!

tcare keshi...

Dalicia said...

this kinda thing happened to me when i was young. young men masturbating in front of the school. in front of ppl's house....walking around exposing their penis in the market. crazy isn't it? and there goes my childhood...ho ho ho...the list can go on!

you did the right thing! at least the police came.

SaffronSaris said...

OMG!!! That was some sicko!!
We must all be cautious.

uttara said...

or else i have another idea.. when he is buzy shagging y dont u shove a branch/ stick in his ass? lol

uttara said...

*asshole i meant:p

Pijush said...

Whats going on with you, Poor Keshi, I feel sorry for you. I wonder why it never happens with me :-)
BTW, nicely written post. What I like in your post is the flow. Keep posting, this time some horror topic pls. Try to see some ghost or killer ;-)

Just relax and try to have a nice weekend.

AmitL said...

Hi,Keshi-whew-good that you're made a joke out of this, but,judging from what you've written,you need to be cautious going to/coming back from work.Just a word of caution:

-Was this a guy who read your previous post on Richard Craniums and was,err,testing the waters?

-Was he reminding you of HNK,by any chance?

Incidentally,in India,you'd see such sights very often- but,it's usually men/boys relieving themselves in the first dark corner they's like, 'everybody does it,so,why can't we?' forget the frogs and the mosquitoes n all which frequent these same dark corners.

Cheers and TC!

radiohead said...

it scary bt its damn funny too ..
i think he was a nice stalker cause he want to impress u wid a lil show n thn woo u .. may b ..
else he might hav attacked u at d vry first place ..y wud he draw unnecc attension ..

well there supposedly a lot of eve teasing in india .. lol in aus .. it is sexual teasing .. hehe .. nt tryin to sound funny .. bt it sure it funny :P

keshi u cud have scared him wid a knife .. m sure he wud hav gt afraid of gettin some wounds (at d wrng places may b) .. u can also use those big eyes ;) ..

or may b he was a dishwasher salesman .. tryin to put forth a marketing startegy .. FREE SHOW FOR BUYERS .. :D

J said...

this is one hilarious post with the kind of emphasis you put on genitals.. of all things you could only see the male organ and that too you had to describe to the cops how it looked? i thot it was bizarre on the cops' part to ask u that. what would they do? go ask around everyone to get an erection and see if its big or small?

Darshik said...

LOL..... .. wat a bastard... bloody hell... wat a stalker... heh

i tell ya while washin plates ur face must be very arduous but for him it must be somethin else standin outside the window. ... Hahhahaha

hahah... bloody stalker must hv felt...

i aint tellin... lol

take care keshi. .. its becomin risky.. ..

Anonymous said...

Hi keshi,

Be little careful..and such incidences are very much common in India to..
One such incidence happne to my room mate also around 2 yrs back and that was in day light, where the area is deserted..
Its too scary to walk here alone in day light also..
Anyways, have a great weekend an dkeep enjoying.

phishez said...

Aww Keshi. Thats so creepy but so overwhelmingly funny at the same time.

If I didn't have Penis Secret, I'd've forgotten what one looks like.

Jeevan said...

When at beginning I guessed when I read “2 Police officers in Keshi's house taking a statement from Keshi at 11pm “ u may had any sight witness of some incident through window, but haven’t know that would be a naked incident. I appreciate your bravery keshi; hope u come out of that sight mania soon ;)

Happy Ganesh Chaturthi ! Take care.

Peter said...

No need that I comment further on what happened I guess, except that it's incredible how your life seems to be full of good and BAD exitements ... and now also of exited guys!
Once more thanks for your excellent choice of music! Since a couple of days, you have chosen exactly according my taste!
... and I wish you a nice weekend, relaxing, or perhaps with some nice and positive exitement!

Pri said...

yuckk thats sick!!
but tht psycho will be flattered if he gets to know u mentioned him in your blog :-/

heres wishing u a better, more positive and less eventful weekend next!!

tk care :)

the Monk said...

Dirty bugger...well, at least he wasn't a rapist or something...

Vishesh said...


angel said...

Glad you are ok sweet.. Bit scary... but I imagine if he saw the police he won't be back in a hurry.

I did a self defence course a couple of years ago, it's a good idea if you want to feel a bit safer!


Harmony said...

oh tht was horrible Keshi--i dnt know how all this happns to u only..ha ha(no i am not laughing dear..)take care..

Priya said...

Keshi, it really freaks out when u come across such morons. Looks like this guy wanna show off how much he's grown.... LOL

Asha said...

That freak!! He is stalking you, is he? It is scary.Glad you called the police!! Be safe sweetheart.
Happy Ganesha festival girl, see you on Monday!:))

AVIANA said...

hey there!

well...u may not think angelina is pretty but you have to admit that she has a leash on men in general...

hav a nice weekend!

Jeya Anand said...

hey..that should have been frightening...Be careful and take care...

And I think I do have special liking for women in uniform!;)

U know, I cant stop reading ur blog..I m reading it quite often..and will comment whenever I am free:)

Anonymous said...

Let me kiss your lick your eyes to

mathew said...

Lol!!..unlike my enocounter with policemen in had better luck.. ;-P

Bla said...

Oh, the naked Janet! ;)

Brian in Oxford said...

If you had a camera nearby, you wouldn't have had to provide such a lengthy description to the policemen....

abhartiya said...

i dont understand how'd you term him a stalker for that matter? he was just shagging in the bushes right without realizing that you might be seeing him? i think it was a mere coincidence and that you just blew it all

temme if you think I misinterpreted anything?


Art said...

yuk!! thats so disgusting.. Hope u recover from that ridiculous experience soon.. Take care and be careful

Anonymous said...

Scary, but you handled it well. Take care.

robkroese said...

That is horrifying and hilarious. Great title, too.

One question: Is a torch like a flashlight? Because the thing that I call a torch... well, I wouldn't want one near my boy parts.

Unknown said...

Ohhhhhh....that is really shocking...i wonder y men cant control themselves:-( Disgusting.
yeah...all women need to be alert all the times..there are such losers hanging around in every nook n corner.
BTW i love men in uniform too;-)

Anonymous said...

I am sorry to have upset you - I was looking for my keys....

The Stormin Mormon said...

Holy shit.

That was scary and hilarious all at once.

Amey said...

How desperate can people get? I mean, public exposing? Yuck...

Keep that pepper spray ready. And while you are at it, why not use the sprinklers next time the guy tries it?

Jay said...

You could set up some home surveillance cameras with night vision and hope to catch him and record him in the "act". Or, just for the fun of it you could buy one of those fake security cameras and make sure your neighbor sees you installing it. LOL

KAYLEE said...

hows u today? I had a scary moment last night...........someone brokee it our house.............i was freaked......will write a post on it later:(

Jim said...


Jim said...

Why did the cops ask u was he erect?

those aussie cops were having funn with u


Andrew said...

I know you well enough Keshi to know you would not invent that story to get the cops to come around.....I think.

Sugababee said...

Wow... that's some scary stuff but at the same time I can't help but laugh.

You be sure to keep safe yeh...

Gledwood said...


reminds me of something really gross i saw someone doing in an internet cafe late one night probably assuming no-one was looking. yukk

KK said...

I cant even imagine such a thing to happen... boy o boy you sure are lucky ;)

Its kinda funny though than serious...

Have a great weekend...

BTW... got a post rolling on my blog...

mystic rose said...

horrible that you had to go through that keshi.

and those headlines cracked me up.

George said...

I have never been subjected to such a spectacle, be it male or female. If they do catch this guy they should handcuff him to his dick ... I mean, if he likes it that much.

The only event that I was witness to that happened outside the back yard happened about 30 years ago. I was at my then girlfriend's house and we were doing dishes, mixed in with a bit of pashing of course, and we noticed a very young girl in the field behind the house ... she had a knife and tried to kill herself (plunged it into her chest, she was about 16 if I remember) ... we had several police cars, ambulance, fire department

The Phosgene Kid said...

Sounds like a drive-by dog flogging to me. And you keep saying you don't have any fans!! Buy some mace
Happy weekend!!

Dan said...

"Psycho". I LOVE that movie!!

jac said...

That was an awful incident keshi. I think that you should be more careful in future.

The good thing is that two lovely hunks were drooling around you girl !!!!

I am thinking why I didn't choose a police career.LOL

Adorable Pancreas said...

These guys need treatment. My friends who stay i the hostel tell me about a sicko who haunts the area. Apparently, it's been going on for 50+ years now. Every time someone retires (read arrested), a new guy takes his place.

annie said...

Hilarious to da core! Especially the way you described it. How come such weirdo things keep happenin with you gurl?

Blessed said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First, off excellent title for your post.
Second, FREAK OUT!!!!
How sick! How scary! How wierd!
How kinda-funny!
I don't know what I would do if saw this! Would I scream? Would I feel I was looking at a train wreck and keep watching? Would I feel nausea? Would I laugh?
Would I feel violate?
I don't know.
I probably would feel grossed out.
Can't say that anything close to this has ever happened to me.
I do remember one time I was with one of my girlfriends and we were all dolled up, going out for some fun; we were in the car and this old man looks over at me from another car and starts licking his lips in the most nauseating way.
I guess he was flirting. But I was like eewwwwwwwww.....made me feel dirty.

I hope they catch this guy, this freak!
The things people to do to get their kinky kicks! Pathetic!

Autumn Storm said...

Take care of yourself, and I hope they find out who he is. Exposure is one thing and he may never go further than that, but then again, he may progress onto other things and eventually hurt someone.

Tys on Ice said...

that much has been a touch and go situation...cant imagine a guy doing the george in the bush... :)

wht exactly was he wanking on? wht exactly were u doing at the sink? :)

but seriously, iam glad that u r ok...

Preeti Shenoy said...

God--that was creepy and scary--but the way you said it, it was hilariuos too.Couldnt help laughing.
Hope u have a really comforting weekend--ie hope the police guys come back to comfort you!

raffi said...

you caught me red-handed/palmed... i just arrived back to nyc right now. it was all worth it ;)

Outdoorsy Girl said...

I had this happen to me when I was a KID! Ewwww! At least you did get the TWO hot officers to go along with the genitalman! hahaha!

It is creepy knowing that a perv like that is lurking around and watching. Don't hesitate to call those hot officers if you need to!

By the way, I find it very funny that this post followed the one about Richard Craniums! hahaha.

Joy said...

Poor you! You must have found the whole incident harrowing. But you're right - next time you'll know what to do. There are so many pervs out there.

I remember a time when I was 12 years and I was on my way home from school, waiting for public transportation. This guy in blue scrubs (like a hospital garment) stood next to me and whipped out his thang! I was 12 for crying out loud. I moved away from him as far as I could and hailed the first vehicle I saw.

Your Love Coach

Anonymous said...

yuck.... :(
there are plenty losers on this planet am sure...
sounds funny but is pathetically sad...
hope u r okay now...

Nadine said...

I'm so sorry for what you had to go through. I remember when I was in grade school and was walking home and a man stood naked in his doorway. I ran all the way home.

Please be careful.

The Phosgene Kid said...

It's quiet...too quiet...

Anonymous said...

awww lol
im really worried, keshi-chan.
why dont u move to ur uncle's house or somewhere for a while.
or ask him to stay in ur house.

Jim said...

Sorry to spoil this genital post ....

our turn to go

We are a bunch of oldies
langoti dosts

we meet every year on New Years Eve
i just got word that one of us got a massive heart attack and died
and i was told to spread the word

I first called Nandan
he was philosophical about it
we are getting old
first Anil and Menin went and now Pratap

we all have to take our turn he says
but little did he know
we go out of turn too

then i called up Lalu
his first reaction was oh shit and he was a yoga teacher
as if yoga teachers wont die too

and i am calling up some more guys now
will keep u updated

La vida Loca said...

oohhhh yucck! yuck!! and yuucckkk!!!!
eeehhhggghh!!! I am so sorry you had to see that!

Jenny! said...

Wait...explain to me how jerking off involves a torch again? THat is so whacko!

Vik Rajagopalan said...

Oh it is god damn so funny on TV and when it happens in real life it is a different story all together. Next time you see him, you got to throw the steak knife at his privates, chances are that you would be able to hit the target because the guy would be holding the torch giving you the light LOL

Take it easy then.

Anonymous said...

OMG Keshi, So all kind of things happening with you know. The guys, I get are getting too sick & weird these days....This guy just needs to be caught in the dick and dragged in public all the way to the bars to teach everyone like him a lesson...Just stay safe and have a great Sunday!

The Phosgene Kid said...

Still on weekend, eh??

Unknown said...

That's disgusting Keshi, glad you are ok though:)

There really are some sickos out there, you might of heard of the so called kings of werribee in Victoria, the sexual assualt DVD, whihc these little pricks (13-17 yoa) were selling at schools for 5 dollars a copy. Makes me angry and sick!

On a lighter note, given your description of the offender the police line up may be an interesting experience.... The guy on the left, number 3 the 6 incher.

tsduff said...

Bummer of an incident Kesh! Once I was driving home from work in bumper to bumpter traffic in my truck. I sit higher in my truck than regular cars, so imagine horror when I pulled slowly adjacent to a convertible, looked down, and saw the lone driver sitting with no pants on, doing the deed in plain view! I was SO grossed out - and couldn't actually drive away quickly because I was stuck in traffic. I just looked away, and was actually amazed at how upset it made me the rest of my entire evening. How awful for you that it was in your very own yard!!!! Creepy.

KAYLEE said...

Hows you today ok? I hope so I am very stressed haha!

Keshi said...

ty each and everyone! I read ALL ur comments. LOL some were seriosuly funny. ans ur qn. Why wud he be holding a torch to his genintals, facing me, if he wasnt meaning to flash his privates at me?


Thanks all and Kaylz Im here now


Dawn said...

OMG thats scary.......... :O

You are fine am glad!!

abhartiya said...

hmm..wht if he wanted to see his dick while he was shagging? @torch

lol..and as i said before how would he know that he's facing you..i guess he was searching some place to shag and he coincidentally found the backyard of your house the right might have just happened that you caught him..and you thought that he was trying to stalk you or something..wwhat say? i think it was purely a coincidence and you took it all wrong...i just feel so!

no offense

Keshi said...

**wht if he wanted to see his dick while he was shagging?

LOL is this wut guys usually do????

I knew he wanted me to look at him cos he was so close to my kitchen window and right in front of my face...besides, its a very public spot..the main entrance of the other block! What kind of guy wud pick such a spot to get off??


abhartiya said...

well well well,
i personally feel seeing the cum out of the dick is what guys would wanna see definitely!

Keshi said...

urggg lol!

k so why cudnt he hv done it within the privacy of his home?


abhartiya said...

you should have asked him there itself instead of blowing it all!

who knows he'd get real high if he'd shag in the open outside your house! :P

Keshi said...

lols Wacko!

**you should have asked him there itself instead of blowing it all!

I didnt blow it all up..wut if he's some kind of an attacker?

**who knows he'd get real high if he'd shag in the open outside your house!

yeah thats it! SO HE WAS DOING IT to show it to me. that answers ur very first qn :)


abhartiya said...

attacker lol..dont tell me..the windows and all were open..the only way i think he could have attacked was throw the cum inside..lolzzzz

Sudeep said...

after ur half nekked thursdays the guy went for a full nekked friday?? lol..

weird guy..

diyadear said...

the pics r all so in plce with the situ.. n he he cudnt help laughing after reading this post.. Ya i know its a serious stuff. we always had such showmen by our hostel back in colle, it was a periodic event of sendin out the watchman to chase them off..but have never called the police he he

Keshi said...

hey Wacko :)

**the only way i think he could have attacked was throw the cum inside.

grossssss YUKKK! lol!

jokes apart, for anything to be an ATTACK, it doesn't need to be physical...what he did outside my kitchen window, mentally and emotionally attacked me.


HAHAHAHA Sudeep good one!



Diya tnxx!

We r advised to call the Police cos it's very close to home and he cud be a rapist that can attack a child or some other woman. better be safe than sorry.



Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

lol omg this is so funny ;p

and ure so like me .. when there was a burglar in our house and i had called the police .. i cudnt help noticing n admiring n staring at the 2 really hot 6ft tall blue-eyed policemen ... lol
why are these police guys all so hot?? lol

anyway on a serious note ... its gud u reported the incident ... u never know what a horny guy probably high on drugs could do to any girl he sees first .. just to satisfy himself and get a fcukin orgasm!

Keshi said...

lolz Cheesy u n I think alike...or lets just say u n I flirt alike!



Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

ya right! if writing abt 2 hot policemen on our respective blogs is flirting then what would askin for their personal numbers be? ;p ;p

Keshi said...

Cheesy that wud be instant sluttyness coming into action LOL!

k Im kidding...that wud be GREAT...I mean I wish I had asked for their phone numbers too..I mean both em of LOL!


♪♪Happy Go Lucky♪♪ said...

ewwww!!! was he looking at you?? but you couldn't have seen, cos his torch was pointed downwards!