Wednesday, September 26

Dial, Confide and Survive!

WARNING: Some photos below are of real abuse victims. They may cause distress to some readers!


A HOT Update...
Thanks to Aidan, I rang the number he gave me (AustraliaSaysNo DV helpline). At the other end of the phone, there was a real sweet lady. The very first question she asked me was 'Are you in any sort of danger?'. Hell I'm in alot of danger from Keshi herself. Ok jokes apart, I guess it's a mandatory question that they ask first from anyone who rings the helpline. I then told her that I'm safe and that this was about my friend. I told her everything except personal details - they really don't ask you for it - you can be Anonymous and discuss the issue with them, it's really upto you. I think that's great, cos alot of women wouldn't wanna reveal their identities when they discuss such matters...well atleast not until they really want to. Ok, so after I told her the story, this lady told me that I'm such a concerned friend and that my friend should be really lucky to have someone like me in her life (woohoo no complaints there ;-)). She also stated that calling the helpline is one of the WISEST things that I did, thanks to all you guys! She then gave me some real good advice on how to go about handling this matter. She told me that, first of all, cos my friend isn't ready to tell the Police or anyone else except me, that I should really leave it for her to decide...that I can only be there for her and check on her all the time - that's about it. The law here is that if the abused person doesn't wanna report it, then there's nothing we can do about it. So some of you were right about that...I should not report to the Police before she decides to do that, cos that may cause more sparks and she could end up in more danger. Also if I spoke to her husband, matters could get worse...that's what the lady told me. She also told me that if I spoke to the husband, that even I could be in danger. So she said that the best way to go about this is to get her to speak to someone in her family...which is exactly what I did last week. I got her promise to speak to her mum soon. So I told her that I already told my friend to speak to her mum and she was very glad I did that. She said that's the only thing we could do at the moment cos we dont have her consent to tell the Police. The next thing she told me to do was to let my friend know about this helpline and to get her to speak to them anytime she's ready...that she could get advice from them in Anonymous form and then she'd be better-prepared to handle a similar situation next time. She also gave me some details about the Police DV officers and asked me to pass it on to my friend. And finally, she asked me one more question (she said it's yet another mandatory question and not to freak out when she asks it) and that question was 'Are you suicidal?'. Goshh how did she know? ;-) Cos since the day I saw those 2 police officers (from my 'An Officer And A Genitalman' post) who came to my place to track my stalker, I became a stalker myself and now I'm suicidal cos I can't seem to find the 2 officers baaaaaaawaaaaaa :*(. I'm gonna try jumping off the Ground floor balcony (don't forget my fear of heights)..and if I make it, can you please call the Poilce? Well I answered NO ofcourse, and then thanked her and hung up. :)

Ok jokes apart, I achieved a great deal from making that very important call...I got all the necessary advice on how to go about this and also info for my friend that I have already passed on. I didn't tell my friend that I rang the helpline...I told her that I got it all from the net. I'm glad that now she'd be more educated on this matter and that she'd know WHERE to get help next time. I also got her to promise me to reveal this to her mum...and I'm gonna keep a watch on her until she does that...and until she's SAFE. Having said that, if anyone out there is suicidal, scared, depressed, abused or lonely, please speak to a DV helpine close to you. The number for AustraliaSaysNo is 1800 200 526 and it's a CONFIDENTIAL HELPLINE. Pick up the phone, get back your self-esteem and put an end to your misery - Start LIVING the rest of your life...don't let anyone treat you badly, you deserve the best and there are wonderful people out there to help you. btw Pics #2 and #3 are real pics of 2 abused women - both women were attacked by their husbands...so if you're being abused right now, don't WAIT for THAT to happen to you too! Speak to someone now. (please note that these pics were not used here to induce fear but to make people understand the SEVERITY of the issue!).


A WARM Thank-You...
I wanna thank ALL of you for all the support and advice on this matter - all your efforts got me to take this mighty step, which is really great. Aidan thanks for leaving me the number here - you already did the homework for me. This is why I say that Blogville has alot to offer, it educates people, makes us grow together, help each other and be there for each other. The funny thing is no one outside Blogville made me do this kind of thing. So you see, how PRECIOUS and INFLUENTIAL blog friends can be. THANKS all for making things happen, you guys rock! btw last night I watched a TV documentary on abused Afghan women...it was one of the most HORRIBLE things to watch...so many young women burned and maimed by their husbands/MILs, and it was the saddest thing I have ever seen. These women don't even have a helpline to contact...instead they suffer in hospital beds all their lives, while the filthy perpetrators walk free. While I can't really help those women, I wanna dedicate this post to those Afghan women and to others around the world who are being abused. Also, I wanna dedicate today's song to my friend and others who suffer in silence. My thoughts are with these souls...when I go to bed tonight, I'd whisper a small prayer and hope that someone out there would reach out to each of these victims of abuse and help them out of this nightmare...just like how all of you helped me to help my friend.


And A COLD Conspiracy...
Please keep your entries coming in for the last post. This post was to update you all on the DV issue cos u deserve to know what's happening, and look how long the update got LOL! One more thing, remember that Bollywood cruise I was supposed to go on in Sept (read Crash Hot Rogan Josh) ...well it was canned! It's really disappointing, and it's rather unusual to cancel a cruise in that manner, but I guess destiny played a part on it...what say? Cos if I had met Mr.Darcy again on board, I'd have walked upto him and stamped his foot real hard with my high-heels till his toes started making funeral arrangements, would then ring 000 (emergency care for my heels that is!) and walk back dancing while he screeched like a drama queen (yes queen!)...cos somehow I have a feeling he'd end up being a DVish husband someday, don't ask me why!



Current Music: Confide In Me by Kylie Minogue

123 Cranium Signets:

Dalicia said...

it's not always easy to dial and confide in someone. but we can let this happen again and again

Tys on Ice said...

way to go girl!! proud of u...always did like someone who acts rather than debates...hey, iam the first one here....feel like mooning ...:)

Iceman said...

good 2 see ya back on track!

Ghost Particle said...

Ahha! You are a hero Keshi! God loves you and so do we. You are an inspiration and above all brave. Thats the most important thing in one's life. I think the only way we can get around solving problem is to start respecting women. Because they are the root and heart of all. It starts from home to the streets. So be there to help others everyone!

Bout da Police guys, you can call the station and say u have a theft. And they'll ask wat, You tell them your heart and give the names of the guys. :D HSAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

EBEZP said...

You've done great Keshi you really have but its such a small part that we each play.
Domestic Violence is a huge problem and in almost all cases alcohol plays a part!

Don't anyone kid themselves either this is a problem right across the board men too!

The exceptionally low global figures for men that are abused in a domestic situation is to do with men even more unable to report the incidents not that it doesn't go on.

Exceptional post Keshi well done, if anyone wants some specifically uk or us helplines and support they through you can always E mail me.

Keshi you rock girl and boy is your friend lucky to have you!!

Sweetstickychewy said...

Great post Keshi.:D

The thing about ya post is no matter how long it is. It keeps me going and reading. In short, its interesting.;) U go girl!

And as for you being the friend. Awesome stuff sweets! Kudos to you! I mean seriously some friends would not bothering holding the burden of a friend esp in such situation but u stood there and did something. Great stuff.

Heard about helplines but was pretty impressed in the way they handled ya call! Great stuff really. Great info there Keshi.

And ya friend is blessed to having u looking out for her and being a strength that uplifts her.

You take care sweets and huggiz!!!

Cheeries!

alex said...

Keshi,

It was great of you to do that.

Yeah, Blogville is very helpful!

Jim said...

I am suicidal too
cud i speak to that sweet chick in australaya too ?

Adorable Pancreas said...

Yay! That's wonderful! High five!

I think most of us have had some encounter abuse, physical or mental, but the other day I was reading about something worse. Honour killings in countries like Iran and Jordan. Those poor women and girls (one victim was a 16 year-old, married girl) 'compromised' the honour of their families, and the only way to undo the wrong is for some family member to kill them. I was horrified. In some places, the 21st century isn't that different from the 11th.

Pijush said...

It’s a matter of great regret that such inhuman activities still exist in this World. Probably it’s the law of nature where stronger allows dominate, be it flood or male chauvinism. The weaker always have to combat, and real stronger are them who can bring the weaker in equal position.

Andrew said...

Well done Keshi. Proud of ya.

Fish said...

Very good Keshi. You did well.
But dont give Jim the number, let him kill himself and rid us of his stupidity.
Jim, go read Porn, and what else you do.

captain corky said...

Those pics are heartbreaking.

You're a really good friend. I know she's lucky to have you.

Nora said...

You're a good friend Keshi.

priya said...

People who are struggling or in trouble shud comeout open and confess. It is very easy to fall and rise for the sma eperson and its all about trust, status, family and society.

Recently in US, an Indian fmaily who migrated.. well her husband was working in some college and all of a sudden the mother and 2 kids killed themselves. Nobody knew the reasons behind.

Loneliness in a new place can cause frustation and lack of trust in family. That stress leads to abuse, outside relationship so on and leads to hurt and pain.

Jeevan said...

This is what the friendship and humanity! Very proud of u dear… glad u spoke to the helpline to make aware how to handle the situation. Thanks for sharing some positive steps that u took for ur friend and nice to be here to support u.

Helen said...

Keshi, good. I'm glad. I was so worried after many comments just kind of blew it off, it's hard to have the courage to make calls like that, but it is better to know that you've done all you can do than wonder if there was something you could have done. I'm so proud of you.

akanksha said...

Well..i am glad u tok that step.I hope things would change for ur friend soon.Hope she gets all the help.
It was an imp decision u took and ur friend is really lucky to ahve u around.Cheers!!!

Well...i have updated my last post.English version is there as an update..chk out!!!!

Jay said...

"The law here is that if the abused person doesn't wanna report it, then there's nothing we can do about it."

What an archaic law. Even in my backwards state that I live in if ANYBODY calls the police and they determine that someone has been abused they take the abuser to jail even if the person being abused doesn't want them to.

Asha said...

Just support her in whatever she wants to do. I am proud of you Kesh!:))
Those pics jolts you to reality!

Art said...

Good to know that you were able to help ur friend.. Hope ur friend takes a wise decision..

Paul said...

It's the same here - if the victim doesn't press charges, nothing can happen. One thing that can make these domestic situations especially difficult is that it often seems to involve a couple both members of which have issues. Obviously the abuser does; but you also find a lot of women in such relationships who exhibit a pattern of repeatedly hooking up with abusive men.

anuj said...

keshi ..
thts gud news ..
I hope your frnd keeps well .. ;)

hav a gud day ..

Jim said...

i will my self one day
after i kill FISH first







.

George said...

Keshi ... you rock ... you did what you promised and came through for your friend and for yourself. The most awesomest post ever. Now, I just hope she does take some action to free herself from the guy.

I hope that the helplines in Australia are better than the one I encountered here last year.

During my depression, before I was hospitalized, I called the local health helpline. I was crying hysterically, had been doing that for a couple of hours, and I couldn't think, didn't know what to do, was terribly afraid ... the usual kind of depression stuff.

I dialed and it rang at the other end about a dozen times, no answer. I hung up, thinking I had dialled the wrong number. Looked it up again and I had dialled the correct number. Rung another dozen times, no answer. Hung up again.Maybe it is only open during the day. I had kept the telephone book open and checked it a third time ... open 24 hours.

I called a third time and it was answered after, perhaps, 6 ot 7 rings. What do I hear ... a recording telling me to call back in about 15 minutes because they were all busy. Can you believe that? What if I had a gun in my hands or a big bottle of pills and I was on the brink of killing myself, or even worse, somebody else.

Man did I raise hell with the organization that runs the line. Their response was that I had to understand because all of the operators are volunteers.

Fish said...

It seems, I will need that number, since Jim has started to threaten me on my blog. It looks like I hit a nerv. So Jim has feelings after all. But only for himself.

MyUtopia said...

I work for a domestic violence shelter. It is hard to watch someone go through this horrible things and not report it. Ultimately it is her choice, but it is always nice to have a wonderful and supportive friend to help one get through the hard times in life.

annie said...

Keshi you doin some good deeds out there.keep up!

starry nights said...

You indeed are a good friend, and you have not only helped her but countless other women who may be reading this blog.some are too scared to call and some don't know how to go about it and are afraid.Thank you Keshi for this wonderful service to all.

WP2007 said...

Hi Keshi

Very good post.

Lots of info.

Great research.

All readers should save this valuable info.

Best post ever!

Hugs

Bev

diyadear said...

good work keshi.. u rock.. yes i too think ur friend is very lucky to have u as a friend. i hope she comes out safely from her bad situation.. n keep up the good work..
hmm gud thing the party got canned. it saved u from seeing him na?/;)

Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

thats a brilliant thing uve done hun!
i think u need to talk to ur friend again ... it can be really dangerous in such situations to involve police ... a person whoz capable of beating the wife can do anythin ... its best uve talked to her mom abt it ... am sure they'll handle it appropriately ... but make sure u stay in constant touch with ur frnd so tht she doesnt end up doing somethin really stupid .. u knw wht i mean!

RAFFI said...

i commend you on your efforts against dv. and, when are you going to show us a picture of you wearing high-heeled boots like those in the pic. i'd let you puncture my foot with them

Cazzie!!! said...

Thank goodness..now hopefully something can be done. Great Keshi.

The Phosgene Kid said...

So like is that a long distance call?? You made some good choices - you are special.

Aidan said...

SO glad you got some good advice.

It is amazing in this day and age that there are places where women are treated as second class citizens. POssibly the most barbaric custom is that of female circumcision which is still prevalent in the third world.

Thank you for sharing your experiences it is great to see how the system works and how easy it was. This is a great example for chicks everywhere:)

AVIANA said...

keshi,

i'm glad you talked to the helpline and your friend...don't let her situation suck you in..you can only do so much...

well it's a good thing you couldn't go to the bollywood cruise cuz i was suppose to go with you! The stars were telling you, next time wait for this chica here in the US before you go to the bollywood cruise!


Lesson learned!

:)

Keshi said...

hey Dalicia!

**it's not always easy to dial and confide in someone.

very true...it sounds easy, but its really hard to do it...to pick up the phone and really speak to someone!

even for me, it took a while and I felt a bit awkward...even tho it was abt my friend. So I can imagine how hard it is for the real victims to pick up the phone! Its emotional torture. Very sad.


-----------------------------------

ty Tys and u played a part in this act as well!


-----------------------------------


hey Iceman tnxx!


:)



Keshi.

Pritika Gupta said...

I have been reading ur blog from quite a long time..I remember how much u cared bout ur uncle.. then this friend.. u r really good keshi..i find u straight forward..caring.. humorous.. Just wondering who will be the luky one to get u.. may be someone from blog world..:)

Keshi said...

Ghosty ty!

however I dun wanna be too proud of this act :) What really matters is that she gets the help she really needs. I just did what I had to do...nothing Special abt that act :) but tnxx so much for ur encouraging words!


**You tell them your heart and give the names of the guys

LOL I was really thinking of doing that!!!


-----------------------------------

Ebez ty!


**but its such a small part that we each play.


I so agree! What I did was a very SMALL part...there r SO MANY ppl ard the world suffering in silence and alone. I wish more ppl reached out to them n help them.

And I know abt men being abused too. When I heard George's story, I was totally shocked. That women too cud really abuse men!


-----------------------------------


Amy HUGGGGGGGGGZ!

I write very long posts ha...LOL! But Im glad u read em all. ty!


**Heard about helplines but was pretty impressed in the way they handled ya call

yep..they r professionally trained ppl. tho it sounds easy to dial n speak to someone, it was really hard to take that step..yes even for me. So I can imagine how hard it is for the victims to speak up!


ty for all the encouragement Amy! And tnxx a bunch for being behind me thru all this. ***MWAH***



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Alex ty!

Sounded like u were in a hurry LOL!


-----------------------------------

Jim if ur suicidal speak to someone in India...d u hv helplines there?



-----------------------------------

Adorable tnxx hun!


**I think most of us have had some encounter abuse, physical or mental,

yes...each one of us hv encountered ABUSE in different forms. We may not even realise it!



**honor killings

yes I hv heard abt that. I really wonder whats so HONORABLE abt that kinda act! Seriously some ppl need to grow brains. I cant stand that kinda dumb belief systems! Mebbe those men who murder women need their penises chopped off to feel the HONOR they r seeking!


**In some places, the 21st century isn't that different from the 11th.

SPOT ON! idiots...cranium-deprived than cavemen!




Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Pijush!

**Probably it’s the law of nature where stronger allows dominate, be it flood or male chauvinism.

mebbe..but doesnt the weaker one hv something called self-respect? Sometimes I feel these abused women prolong the abuse by not telling on their husbands. They need to get out and get help. Some women put up with it and thats where they make a big mistake!


-----------------------------------

Andrew Im glad I hv mates like u who encouraged me to do it. When I u wrote a post in ur blog abt DV (straight after my post), I realised how SERIOUS this cud get.

tnxxx n HUGGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------

hey Fish ty!


** let him kill himself and rid us of his stupidity.

LOL!


Jim is trying to flirt with the helpline lady...he aint suicidal...he's just crazy.



Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Captain!

yep the pics r heart-breaking...I cant u'stand some women waited ard till their men threw acid on them!

-----------------------------------

ty Nora n u too! :)


-----------------------------------

hey Priya ty!


**People who are struggling or in trouble shud comeout open and confess

DEFINITELY! Thats exactly wut Im trying to emphasise from this post. It may sound cliche but it's very imp to realise that COMING OUT n CONFESSING is a must!


**well her husband was working in some college and all of a sudden the mother and 2 kids killed themselves.

OMG I cant believe that!! Thats horrible. U see no one knows WHY that happened. Cos that lady didnt COME OUT n CONFESS.


ur spot on...loneliness n stress can end in shocking n totally unexpected actions.

GOD SPEED!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Jeevan for ur help and encouragement!


-----------------------------------

ty Helen!

**it's hard to have the courage to make calls like that,

yep...u wudnt believe it how hard it was for me too. It took me few days after that post, to really pick up the fone n talk to someone. So I can imagine how hard it is for the real victims! Sadly its a very awkward situation.


-----------------------------------

ty Akanksha!


**It was an imp decision u took

yes it was a very imp step as well as a very hard one to implement w.o. feeling like ur compromising a friend's trust. (even tho I didnt give out her personal details)


ok I'll check ur post sweetie. TNXXX!


Keshi.

Kalpana said...

Good work Keshi! Keep it up. :)

Keshi said...

hey Jay hows it going?

**Even in my backwards state that I live in if ANYBODY calls the police and they determine that someone has been abused they take the abuser to jail even if the person being abused doesn't want them to.


I know wut u mean. But this was NOT the POLICE Jay! I called the helpline. Had I called the Police and informed abt it, they wud hv been at her doorstep immediately. I was only getting advice from the Helpline as to how I should go abt this issue since she doesnt wanna tell the Police yet.

Having said that, I cud easily ignore all the advice and my friend's plea, and still ring the Police. But I wont do that...cos the Helpline advised me that it wud put my friend in more danger. U see if I was a neighbor and a stranger to her, I'd hv called the Police w.o. a doubt. But I got her promise not to...thats why Jay.


----------------------------------

ty Asha!

yes the pics r heart-breaking...the 2nd victim pic is of a Pakistani woman who's husband threw acid on her...




Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Art!


-----------------------------------

hey Paul tnxx!


**it often seems to involve a couple both members of which have issues..

Spot on! If a woman like me had a husband like my friend's, I'd hv reported him to the Police and left him on the very first day he abused me. But like u said, it seems my friend is one of those women who repeatedly gets abused and dun mind it, as long as her r'ship is in place. Its really really sad!


-----------------------------------

hey Anuj tnxx!

seems like u didnt read the last part of the post? :) its ok.




Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jim Im sure Fish hit a nerve in ya..LOL Im so glad Fish came ard to do that to u.


WOOHOO!


-----------------------------------

ty George! Especially cos u really made me think after that first post of mine on this issue and also after u wrote ur's...that really opened my eyes. So this is also ur work...ty n well done!


**I just hope she does take some action to free herself from the guy.

yes...Im hoping she'd do that soon. Besides, I sent her all the info..and guess what she told me...she told me that she got their number already! So that means, she's really thought abt calling them b4...thats good news. But she didnt know avbt being ANONYMOUS etc...so she was very happy to hear that and also to receive the DV officers details. She thanked me so much for it...and she also promised me again that she's gonna tell her mum soon. Wonderful!


OMG I cant believe u dialled a suicide helpline and had to go thru THAT kind of non-responsiveness! Its really APPALLING! I cant believe that that happened in a country like the US. And they had some lame excuse for it didnt they!

I guess if/when u feel depressed next time, best u call a friend? If the helpline isnt responding, it's best u call a friend or a family-member...someone u can talk to...cos thats what u wud need at times like that...someone's voice at the other end of the phone...


**HUGS George**



Keshi.

Jim said...

i am a FISH lover
i eat FISH




.

Jim said...

FISHES dont scare me
not the little ones


he is just a mackerel
a bombay duck

Keshi said...

Fish heyy!

**Jim has started to threaten me on my blog.

his threats r all lame. Ignore em. He did that to many many ppl b4.


He cant kill ya..cos u hv already killed him...his ego is hurt big time I guess :)


-----------------------------------


Utopia ty!


**I work for a domestic violence shelter

really? WOW! U can share some stories with us so more women will be educated on this matter. I think DV is a serious issue just as Cancer, Drugs, Child abuse etc.


-----------------------------------


ty Annie! :)




Keshi.

Jim said...

i posted your domestic abuse post as mine on blogrol

Sept 27 bloggers unite
theme STOP ABUSE

of all kinds

Keshi said...

hey Starry ty!

** but countless other women who may be reading this blog.some are too scared to call

true...thats why I did this post...so that they can start REALISING.


I hop eur keeping well? HUGGGGGGGGGZ!


-----------------------------------

MWAHHHHHH Bev ty!




-----------------------------------

ty Diya! I too hope she acts on it soon.


**the party

yeah :) o well if it was on, I'd hv still gone and enjoyed it. Bummer it got cancelled :(





Keshi.

Keshi said...

Cheesy ty sweetie!

**a person whoz capable of beating the wife can do anythin ...

yeah ur so right abt that! She also told me he kicks her and threw things at her. Thats scary. Cud be pretty dangerous.


I wont let her do anything stupid..I know wut u mean hun. if she ever indicates anything like that, I'd go there and bring her to my place immediately. I dun care what he thought. ty so much for the concern!


-----------------------------------

hey Raffi ty!


**when are you going to show us a picture of you wearing high-heeled boots like those in the pic. i'd let you puncture my foot with them

lol wudnt u then report me to the police for DV? :):)


-----------------------------------

ty Caz, yes..MWAHHHHHHHH!




Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Phos!

**So like is that a long distance call??

nah its the nationwide Aussie DV helpline.


-----------------------------------

ty so much Aidan!

U made this happen along with the others here. If u hadnt left that number in ur first comment there, it wudnt hv alerted me all that much....so THANKS ALOT!


**It is amazing in this day and age that there are places where women are treated as second class citizens.

thats cos some men in some parts of the world r born w.o. brains.


**POssibly the most barbaric custom is that of female circumcision which is still prevalent in the third world.

I know! I cant believe that its still happening. And also, that most women in those countries hv to cover themselves from top to bottom, when the men walk ard in shorts! SELFISH IGNORANT FUCKERS.


-----------------------------------


heyyy Lisssa! :)


**don't let her situation suck you in..you can only do so much...

I know..this is the best I cud do. So far that is...


hahaha @Bolly cruie...hmmmmm I think ur right...mebbe u'd be in Syd when its on next time? :)


HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!




Keshi.

Jim said...

George
i been there

i slashed my rists once
but i was dumb
i cut a vein
instead of an artery


THANK GOD
for making me dumb


Now i no that life is precious
i will never do dat again ever

Now when i feel depressed i blog
and eat FISH

KAYLEE said...

AWFUL................I couldnt be happier today!

Keshi said...

Pritika ty! Comments like that make me wanna help more ppl...it makes my soul GROW...

Im CARING by nature..I guess alot of ppl r..atleast my blogmates here r all very CARING ppl. My policy in life is that if u dun CARE abt others' and dun HELP ppl, then ur living a life thats very dull...a LIFE thats devoid of 'LIFE'.


HUGGGGGGGGGZ n ty!


-----------------------------------

ty Kalpz!



-----------------------------------

Jim fishes may not scare ya...but this FISH truly bit ya! :)




Keshi.

Jim said...

blogging is therapeutic
bloggers are better than help lines

when u r feeling down and out blog about it
and a kind soul will tell u that she loves u

and life is worth living again
i have a blog Saby Bipolar

check it out

Keshi said...

Jim hi again...


**i posted your domestic abuse post as mine on blogrol

thats plagiarism...u cant use MY post as if it's YOURS'?? Mebbe u can link that post to this blog..

Thanks!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jim next time u wanna cut ur wrists, think abt Fish...the one who u need to win against. Cos he won already hehe.


Keshi.

Jim said...

we indians dont no the word plagiarism

hehehehehehe

Keshi said...

Kaylz heyy hows u?



-----------------------------------

Jim I agree abt blogging being therapeutic...so true!



Indians dunno abt Plagiarism? Sad for ya then.



Keshi.

Jim said...

Here is a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note

Don't worry be happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy......

Ain't got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed

Don't worry, be happy
The land lord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate

Don't worry, be happy
Lood at me I am happy
Don't worry, be happy

Here I give you my phone number
When you worry call me
I make you happy

Don't worry, be happy
Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style
Ain't got not girl to make you smile

But don't worry be happy
Cause when you worry
Your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So don't worry, be happy (now).....

There is this little song I wrote
I hope you learn it note for note
Like good little children

Don't worry, be happy
Listen to what I say
In your life expect some trouble
But when you worry
You make it double

Don't worry, be happy......
Don't worry don't do it, be happy
Put a smile on your face
Don't bring everybody down like this
Don't worry, it will soon past
Whatever it is




Don't worry, be happy

KAYLEE said...

//Kaylz heyy hows u?//

dont think I could be more great today !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or feel any better :)

Silvara said...

heya Kesh...

It's scary to see what kinda of people are out there and what kind of lives they lead. You have taken the first step to help your friend. I hope she takes the advice as well :)

Love this song of Kylie's as well :)

Keshi said...

I like that song Jim..but u cant always be happy...as humans we feel sadness too!

Thats whats striking a balance is all abt!


-----------------------------------

Kaylz Im really glad to hear that :)



-----------------------------------

Silvara tnxx a bunch hun!




Keshi.

kumarldh said...

muahahahahaha
I am back.
Howr r u babe? Hows life? The proxy server at my work place thinks your blog is a PORN website. LOL. ROFL.
Believe me our server isnt that much wrong. You ARE hot. :P
Domestic violence is common in India. Not so common in urban areas. But hey what is this domestic violence? You have a maid and she is not working well you shout at her. Your kids dont want to study and you shout at them, scold them and even beat them. Definition of terrorist changes for every one.
Hey do stay in touch.

Southpaw unplugged said...

This post reminds me that i must do something abt the suicidal amongst us...:D
Good day keshhayyy...:)

KAYLEE said...

Thanks its great to have a nice day like these every so often :)

Sweetstickychewy said...

My Pleasure sweetheart! Rock on!;)

Keshi said...

Heyy Kumar nice to see u here :)


Im a porn star then? LOL! Ur Server is nuts..mebbe ur Server is far too conservative? LOL!


** Definition of terrorist changes for every one.


I know. And DV can take many forms...verbal, emotional, physical etc etc. The victims need to stand up for themselves and DO something abt it rather than just PUTTING UP with it.

tnxx Kumar!

-----------------------------------

heyy Southy nice to see ya bak! HUGGGGGGGGZ! Hope all is well with u?


**suicidal amongst us

u suspect anyone? :)



-----------------------------------

aww Kaylz...wonderful!




-----------------------------------

Amy tnxx hun MWAH!




Keshi.

Jim said...

women are men's possessions
think most indian guys

when she flirts with another
or dresses sexy
or ....

now dressing sexy to a muslim means not wearing burkha


female circumcicsion is denying the woman pleasure in sex

if she gets pleasure in sex
she wud be tempted to sex others too

so wear my mangal sutra or my ring
my brand that tells other guys to lay off

she is mine
my possession

thou shall not covet thy neighbors wife

this is the hardest commandment for me to keep

coz i go for mature women
and most are married

Jim said...

an indian woman canot wear shorts or jeans after marriage



only the 14 yard sari

Jim said...

now an indian married woman will not want Keshi to visit her home


most men have a roving eye

Jim said...

the best dance round i like in a party is the tag dance

we change partners every time
indian guys come to my parties
but they dont get their wife along

Aidan said...

You have nothing to thank me for... you did it all, i just acted as a phone book....

I hope your friend appreciates all your care and work...

You are an uncommonly kind person Keshi:)

Jim said...

THANK GOD
i was not born female

Keshi said...

Jim ur a disgrace to Indian men. I hope all Indian men dun think like u!


-----------------------------------

Aidan well ur a bloody KIND and HUNKY phonebook then ;-)




Keshi.

ghee said...

Keshiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!
Hey gurl,I miss you!!Sorry for not visiting,I took a break for a while,I know that I missed your bday,too...my bad...

Its nice to see you again,Keshi,reading your moving posts again makes my day!I`m so proud of what youre doing and keep it up!!

hugsss,
ghee

deepsat said...

thats a great thing you did!!! hope that lady gets the strength to fight back that person who is not even a MAN!!!

tc

Jim said...

its TRUE Keshi
penis envy ?

Keshi said...

OMG HUGGGGGGGGGZ Ghee n WB! I know u were on a break....Im so glad ur bak tho!


So nice to see u here again..WOOHOO Im dancing! :)


-----------------------------------

Deepz thats right...he's not a MAN...just a scared boy.


ty!


-----------------------------------


wut d u mean Jim?




Keshi.

Jim said...

hehehehe

Keshi said...

duh!

Keshi.

ghee said...

LOL!you made me dance here,too,and sing as well!!haha!

thanx for the comment Keshi dear,but my update is here:

http://akoni.info

you were on my other blog...LOL

hugsUUUU!!

Keshi said...

haha great to hear that Ghee!

**you were on my other blog

ROFL! ok tnxx I'll be there soon :)


HUGGGGGGGGGZ!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

AND GUYS CHECK OUT THE LAST POST. It has been UPDATED with the titles :)

Keshi.

uttara said...

good work keshi..
not everyone lucky to have an angel like u in their lives..
u r true angel
muaaaaaaaaah

hope ur friend is out of the mess sooon!!

Keshi said...

Uttsy Im no angel..u know I can be a bitch LOL!

but ur MY ANGEL!

HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

Keshi.

anits said...

really wonderful post keshi..good work!Thanks for giving us a good path in helping others! tcare gal!

Keshi said...

hey Anits ty!

if we cant help someone, wuts the point of this life? :)

HUGGGGGGGGGZ!

Keshi.

Aditi said...

I think u did the only thing u could do in the circumstance and i think trying to get hr to see that she does have a choice and that this isnt something she should put up with is the best thing possible...
good job keshi..
sorry the cruise got cancelled

Keshi said...

ty Aditi!

yep the Cruise got canned :(

Keshi.

Keshi said...

GUYS CHECK OUT THE LAST POST. It has been UPDATED with the titles!

Aditi said...

i missed the last post but i love the pictures.. tulips are my absolute favorite.. i guess its spring there around now?

KMF said...

Hi Keshi,
Very nice post it contain lots of information thanks for sharing.

Die Muräne said...

Here in Switzerland we changed the law last year or so. Now 'domestic abuse' is an official delict. This means police and court must investigate even if the woman/man doesn't makes an accusation. Violance is violance! Doesn't matter where and when!

toby said...

Well done, Keshi. Domestic abuse is a minefield but you negotiated this one safely.

Pity about the cruise. I was looking forward to the Darcy encounter! lol!

niki yokota said...

hahaha!! i wanna see ur police officers :D
u have done a great thing to ur friend!
i remembered that my friend filed a lawsuit againt DV boy friend about 10 years ago. he was aussie and they lived in sydney or somewhre.
she could get compensation money, but she said it was very little and almost same amount with what she spent for allegation.
she hurt her neck but looked happy to do the right thing.

Sudeep said...

domestic violence is a blot on us..
gud frnd u r Keshi.. :)

n no matter u updated the lines for last one m gonna go n check if i can post my fav coz m always late on these posts coz of the damn reader not showing pics :|

Gledwood said...

o darling, that's fucking awful!...

Autumn Storm said...

Kesh, you are the best kind of friend.

lemonade said...

ur a wonderful friend kesh! u did the right thing ! :)

Nicholas said...

Wonderful job, Keshi!
In my country "ladies'boxers are too, but not often and it is a criminal issue.
Hugss to you!

Zhu said...

It's good you called for your friend, although it's frustrating you can't do much more. I guess being there is the main thing.

Hopefully she will benefit from your advice and one day call herself...

The Phosgene Kid said...

Count Down to Weekend!!!Have a great one Keshi!!!

Fleiger said...

Right, you can't force her to contact Police. But good to know she has got some help. Hope she talks to her family soon.

Keshi said...

Aditi yes Aus is in Bloom right now :)


-----------------------------------

KMF ty!



-----------------------------------

Murane heyy!

** This means police and court must investigate even if the woman/man doesn't makes an accusation. Violance is violance! Doesn't matter where and when!


Thats so true! Im glad that some countries realised that n changed the law.




Keshi.

Keshi said...

tnxx Tobez!

yeah I was looking forward to writing Mr.Darcy saga - chapter 5...it didn't happen tho LOL!

mebbe God wanted Mr.Darcy to live a lil longer? :)

-----------------------------------

Niki lol tnxx! Come to Aus - if u wanna see the HOT officers ;-) They make my smoke-alarm go off!


**she hurt her neck but looked happy to do the right thing.

geeez! Im so sorry to hear abt ur friend. It really aint abt the compensation tho...it's abt her being safe and the criminal going to jail. I hope that happened.




Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Sudeep ty!

great to see ya here :)


-----------------------------------

Gledderz it is awful isnt it. TY!



-----------------------------------

Autumn MWAHHHHHH! And hey u too!





Keshi.

Keshi said...

Lemonade ty sweetie!


-----------------------------------

Nic I know that some women abuse men too...its horrible.

***HUGS***

-----------------------------------

Zhu MWAHHH n tnxx!


**although it's frustrating you can't do much more. I guess being there is the main thing

so true! I havent really done much to really help her..I hv only done wut I cud do at this moment.


-----------------------------------

Phos yes...u too tnxx! :)



Keshi.

Keshi said...

yes Fleiger tnxx!


Keshi.

Jim said...

enuff of DV
lets talk about LOVE now


next post?

Jim said...

in INDIA there have been many cases of DV against men too

Jim said...

While the findings are not new, the study has incubated a new round of debate about the cultural underpinnings to domestic violence, especially in India, where the study found a woman's risk of being beaten, kicked or hit rose along with her level of education.

In the aftermath of the report, advocates are anxious that the data not be used to retard the push for women's education. That effort was given new urgency this week with the release of a report by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization, finding that girls in many countries continue to face "sharp discrimination in access to schooling." The report also finds that girls in India had just a little better than three-quarters the chance of boys to receive a primary-school education.

"Interpretation of this data needs to be done very sensitively," warned Preet Rustagi, a junior fellow at the New Delhi-based Center for Women's Development Studies. "Education is an empowering tool for women and should not be seen as impacting negatively. In fact, this correlation points to the imperative need for an attitudinal change among men and society in general." Rustagi has analyzed crime records relating to violence against women and also found a correlation between education and domestic violence.

Risk Rises with Education
According to the 2002 study, 45 percent of Indian women are slapped, kicked or beaten by their husbands. India also had the highest rate of violence during pregnancy. Of the women reporting violence, 50 percent were kicked, beaten or hit when pregnant. About 74.8 percent of the women who reported violence have attempted to commit suicide.

Kumud Sharma of the Centre for Women's Development Studies in New Delhi traced the correlation between education and domestic violence to patriarchal attitudes. "Educated women are aware of their rights," she said. "They are no longer willing to follow commands blindly. When they ask questions, it causes conflicts, which, in turn, leads to violence. In many Indian states, working women are asked to hand over their paycheck to the husband and have no control over their finances. So, if they stop doing so or start asserting their right, there is bound to be friction."

Domestic violence experts say the problem in India stems from a cultural bias against women who challenge their husband's right to control their behavior. Women who do this---even by asking for household money or stepping out of the house without their permission--are seen as punishable. This process leads men to believe their notion of masculinity and manhood is reflected to the degree to which they control their wives.

"The behavior of men stems from their understanding of masculinity," said Nandita Bhatla, researcher with the International Center for Research on Women, "and what their role should be vis-a-vis women, especially their wives."

Problem of Perception

Men have always been taught to perceive themselves as the superior sex, said Jyotsna Chatterjee, director of the Joint Women's Program, a women's resource organization based in New Delhi. It is this conditioning, she said, that makes them believe they have to control their wives, especially if they are considered disobedient.

Although men's preoccupation with controlling their wives declines with age--as does the incidence of sexual violence--researchers found that the highest rates of sexual violence were among highly educated men. Thirty-two percent of men with zero years of education and 42 percent men with one-to-five years of education reported sexual violence. Among men with six-to-10 years of education--as well as those with high-school education and higher--this figure increased to 57 percent.

A similar pattern was seen when the problem was analyzed according to income and socioeconomic standing. Those at the lowest rungs of the socio-economic ladder--migrant labor, cobblers, carpenters, and barbers--showed a sexual violence rate of 35 percent. The rate almost doubled to 61 percent among the highest income groups.

Researchers have not determined why men with higher incomes and educations are more likely to be violent towards women.

Charming Colleague Is Revealed to Be a Wife Beater
Indian theater personality and feminist Tripurari Sharma was shocked to learn that a well-educated and respected actor in her theater group was abusing his wife, also an established actress.

"He was the most helpful, cordial and endearing man," she said. "His wife would attend rehearsals with bruises at times that she would cover up. Later, I found out she was being beaten. If the actress herself had not told me, I would have never believed it. So, I think it is a myth to think that the high education and economic status will lessen the risk of violence against women."

Equally disturbing is the finding that two of every five women in an abusive relationship in India remain silent about their suffering because of shame and family honor. The studies have also shown, nearly one-third of the Indian women experiencing abuse had thought about running away, but most said they feared leaving their young children and had no place to go. Activists felt that for intervention strategies to succeed, attitudes about violence would have to change and the level of awareness, among both men and women, about the negative impact of violence had to be raised.

Swapna Majumdar is a journalist based in New Delhi writing on politics, gender and development issues.

Dawn....सेहर said...

Very sad!!!! I say dont take it dont give it n dont just watch do something abt it

Cheers

AmitL said...

Hi,Keshi...that's nice-that you called the helpline...hope your friend finally gets to the security level needed.

A big LOL at your,err'suicidal' tendency to jump from the ground floor...perhaps you should have the windows barred(You could jump out of the door,though-*muses*.)

Have a nice day.

niki yokota said...

lol@ smoke-alarm...
thank u keshi-chan!!
sending him to jail is scary!!
he might do something in revenge.
indian women remain silent becoz family honor!?
oh i really dont understand those family honor thingy. it sucks!

chocolteluva said...

yes, sadly that is the law in most countries. AND its the law because if someone else reports and doesnt take the precautionary measures, the friend will be in even more trouble and he'll hit her and abuse her even more.
when i counciled people in the psych clinic i worked at, we always counciled them to have cops, and a place to stay at and a restriction order ready by the court and an escape route planned with alot of people present on the VERY DAY AND VERY HOUR, AND VERY MINUTE she decides to tell the guy she's leaving him. cause divorce and all that can spite him even more..

its importatnt to think it thru... make sure you and your friend plan everything in case she decides to do it, im sure the help line will give you steps on how to go about doing it.

Vest said...

Did you now that, Rogan Josh was a Melbourne cup winner. Probably substituted hoss flesh for the original ingredients with added HURRY CURRY.

The pancreas is a body weight controller-an engine requiring the best oil, if you feed it shit or recycled old oil its parts wear -thus its control weakens - you diet but still become obese and a slob.

Keshi is my favorite Heroine, xxx.

phishez_rule said...

Keshi, you are a truly amazing person. I'd like to thank you for doing all of this. You work miracles and restore my faith in real people. Bloggers included.

Keshi said...

k Jim tnxx!

-----------------------------------

ty Dawny!


-----------------------------------

haha Amit ty!



-----------------------------------

I agree Niki..I dun u'stand that family honor thing when it comes to DV!



-----------------------------------

ty for ur thoughts Choco!


**make sure you and your friend plan everything in case she decides to do it, im sure the help line will give you steps on how to go about doing it

yes..this has to be done VE-E-E-ERY carefully and slowly.


-----------------------------------

awww Vesty ty!


**Rogan Josh

yes I know abt that horse :)


-----------------------------------

gee tnxx Phishez but dun forget the HELP u offered me in the first place! It was you and the others here who made me take this VERY IMP step. SO TNXXX HUN!



Keshi.