Love Stinks

So yeah you fall in love..what's next? Alot of people find it very easy to fall in love. It starts with just the initial attraction but please give me something more than just that. Love doesn't mean just the physical/emotional attraction. It's much more powerful than that. A guy might say, a girl is beautiful, smart, talented, kind, sensible so he loves her. But is it just that? What about the language? Yeah I mean the language of the hearts. That I think is the seed of real love. No 2 couples would speak the same language cos it's unique to the hearts of each couple. I believe in that. Only when you understand her/his heart's language, will you experience true love.

So you know Mr.Darcy couldn't proceed with me cos his dad and sis didn't like the fact that we both were of the same age. I'm glad I never had to meet his rather shallow family pheww! Don't get me wrong...I aint disappointed at all...I'm happy as ever :). But I was wondering, will he ever be happy and independent as he claims to be? I mean he was head-over-heels in love (yes in LOVE) with me and was making big plans. Said so many sweet things to me that I couldn't even believe that he's for real hehe. I could listen to him all day...cos he was so very good at talking and so very interesting to listen to. Somehow I wanted to believe him, believe everything he said. He did sound like a very sweet, independent and honest guy. O.W. do you think I'd have gone out with him? And what happened then? He went along with his family's decision that was made on behalf of him. His family's decision didn't upset me all that much but what was truly hurtful and shocking was how he changed rapidly after that - just like he fell for me real fast, he fell out of it real fast too. Im not surprised and I told him exactly that. He used to send me like 30 txts a day and now there's none...not even a single HI HOW U DOIN. I don't want his friendship but I'm just shocked at how fast some guys make up their minds. Some people are truly insensitive and objective I feel their hearts are made of stone. They have only one thing to achieve..guard their territory and that's about it. I guess I'm too sensitive and I trust people too much. But why shouldn't I trust them? I don't know if he lied about his feelings for me or if he lied about going along with his family's decision..I guess I'll never really know that. All I know is that it felt real while it lasted and I want to believe that what he said about his initial feelings for me were true. Why would he lie about that? If he did, then he could have just played along a little bit more and dumped me after say 6 months of seeing me. He said the same to me. So yeah he must have had real feelings for me but not strong enough to last.

He's not a kid...so why did he go with what his family thought about us? Maybe cos he's someone who can't make decisions for himself. Or it maybe cos he thought his family knows what's best for him. Or it maybe cos he didn't want to disappoint his dad/sis. Or maybe cos his heart and my heart didn't speak the same language. He didn't understand my heart's language. Or else he wouldn't have listened to his family. So yeah we were not meant for each other. There was no Love involved here for Love sees no barriers. It was just initial attraction and that can die any minute, just like it did with him.

Folks tomorrow is Australia Day, a public holiday in the land Down Under. So yeah I won't be around tomorrow and until next Monday. On top of that I'm moving house this weekend - right now my place looks like a jungle cos of the boxes and all the mess. I hate not having a neat home to go back to, but it's only for this weekend - so it's ok Keshi just stop whinging. All of you have a lovely weekend and all my fellow-Aussies, have a good one tomorrow! Sizzle the shrimps on the barbie and get on with the beer mates ;-) and take it easy!

If I listened long enough to you
I'd find a way to believe that it's all true...
Knowing that you lied straight-faced while I cried
Still I look to find a reason to believe..

Current Music: Reason To Believe by Rod Stewart

G'Day Mate, Om Shanti Shanti!

DISCLAIMER: Purely humorous but quite factual. Take it as you like it!

This post was inspired by the difficulties and awkward situations that youngsters of today's Indian immigrants face in other countries. I come from a Hindu and Buddhist background and Im originally from Sri Lanka, but now I live in Australia. My parents have lived most of their life in Sri Lanka and I have lived most of my life in Australia. Now I have been taught librararies worth of Eastern morals and values that I must stick to even though I live here. And to date I have never let my parents or my culture down. But what exactly is my culture? Even though I'm a Sri Lankan, I'm also an Australian. What about the Aussie values and morals? It's not that the Eastern culture doesn't have negative aspects either or that the Aussie culture doesnt have positive aspects. What I always thought was that no matter what one should never forget their origin but if you choose another country to be your home country, then you should learn, appreciate and get accustomed to the new culture too - in other words, take the good and leave the bad from both cultures.

So here are some funny yet awkward situations I face living in 2 cultures :)

Coming from a 'Curry' family (this is the slang term used in Aus for Indians) , I have been eternally banned from dating and if I meet someone I like, it would have to be at the risk of being lectured to death - and the lecture comes with a warranty for life. Dad onced bashed a guy who whistled at me - yes he did and that guy moved houses the next week. If I talked too long on the phone, my dad didnt like it - he suspected it's a dude whereas it was usually my silly friend with pigtails from school, duhhhh dad! Aussies don't put restrictions on calls for their kids and they grow up pretty healthy mixing with both boys and girls since childhood. I think that's a balanced way to bring up kids, with reasonable restrictions ofcourse.

Another strange rule I had to follow when I was younger was that no late-night parties or going out at night. As most of you might know an Indian girl's night out would be eating sweets in the bedroom listening to loud music till she falls asleep (sounds fun ha?). Or if I got the chance to go out, a gang of my cousin brothers will be walking behind me and one day an uncle joined us too - mannn that was pretty embarasssing! And mum always comes into my head saying 'when you are at a club make sure you don't take any alcohol because good girls don't drink and remember if you did that no one will marry you ok'. I remember one of my mum's friends' daughter got labelled a 'hopeless drunkard that's unfit to be a pati-devi' or what ever it is :). Btw she only had a glass of wine! Although I dont drink recklessly, Aussie girls drink alcohol but they lead pretty good married lives too, don't they.

If a friend asked you to spend the night at her place, my mum suddenly becomes the goddess of Purity who says that a girl is no good if she left home even for one night and that virginity is the best asset a girl could ever have - but mum, my friend isn't a lesbian duh! Even before mum says a NO with a Puri-sized 'O', my friend knows I wont be there anyways - right now she's puking thinking about our Curry attitude hehe. Btw mum means 'you better stay a virgin before marriage and protect our Om shanthi shanthi culture even if that means you are 40yrs and applying for retirement' (Keshi rolling eyes...). The only Aussie virgins would be the poor curry leaves in the trees.

Going out with family (there's no other kind of going-out anyways) is a must even if it was Uncle Ram who invited you for a vegetarian dinner with all the oldies chanting ram ram. You have to be dressed appropriately with no cleavage showing or legs left visible - excuse me, I have boobs you know that and I have legs, you know that too - ok then live with it! Anyways I end up going looking like an Egyptian mummy - the only part left uncovered is my face! When you go there you have to be very polite and not bored, even if that means you'll spend the afternoon going around asking 'would you like some fruit?'. Aussie girls don't follow their parents everywhere neither do the parents follow them everywhere and that's great in a way. Cos personal space and freedom should be given and respected.

O the countless festivals and gazillion Hindu Gods we have and being a Buddhist too, I have to celebrate an infinite number of festivals. I like them all but the rules that go with them are sometimes annoying. Like when you have to wait for the prayers to finish to eat something, otherwise God would get angry and all that drama. Trust me I have hallucinated food, food and food being starved to death in one such ocassion - the prayers were going on forever. I got up and went and ate an apple - too bad Aunt, I don't think you want me dead in your prayers, do you. Aussies let people get up and go if they are not feeling well or hungry, they don't tie you up with ridiculous rules so you can die a hungry devotee chanting 'om om om Im dead'.

Boooooo arranged marriages! Everytime your family meets up another curry, the first question they ask is 'Is your daughter single? Cos I have this friend who' s son is an engineer and is such a sweet boy blah blah blah'. I mean cant people just ask about each other's day and just go about shopping without trying to be the Lord of marital bliss. And being an engineer or a doctor is such a big deal for Indians. Excuse me mum, did you hear about Dr.Death J.Patel from Brisbane? LOL! And if the proposed boy is a nice person he should have a house and a car to go with the package, and if possible can you not 'date' him until the wedding night haha! You could be marrying someone who doesnt even know manners, but never mind daughter, he's an engineer na, so close your eyes and go get him. Aussies value human equality not the social status, and they would marry someone for their goodness not the job or any other status!

Meat is taboo on certain days and if you eat it before or after going to the temple you will be punished by Lord Shiva, you'll never see happiness in life blah blah blah. How does God have so much time to watch what we eat - I mean there are so many curries all over the world, doesnt God get hysterical by watching if we eat meat or not at certain times? Atleast I say sorry God, before I eat - I think God forgives often hai na :). Aussies even eat McDonalds inside the church but they don't get punished by Jesus and neither does Jesus look like he needs a holiday from watching what people eat!

If I'm going for an exam/interview, mum does a huge Puja in front of her many Gods asking them to protect me. She chases me around the house with a tray of incense and I went to many exams with holy powder all over my face. My Aussie friends used to ask me what it was. Anyways after a while they stopped asking. Then I used to sneak into the bathroom and take them off my face before stepping out LOL! God will forgive me again - I know He's good ;-). Aussies respect religion/faith too but they don't walk around with a cross nailed on their forehead to prove it!

Oh those omens! If you dream of a tooth falling off then someone in your family is supposed to die?? I once dreamt this and at the same time an old uncle was sick. I nearly killed him cos mum was so upset I saw such a dream and she was so sure someone is going to die, and it was that uncle. But he didnt die...actually he's alive and kicking more than any of us. If you see 2 blackbirds then you're in for a wedding surprise and if you see just one then it's apparently a funeral. But I have seen 2 blackbirds many a time but no wedding followed but if I see one blackbird I still run after it to find a the 2nd one duhh Keshi! Aussies are more logical and realistic than allowing a bird to decide their mood or the fate of a sick uncle!

Curry relatives and friends are so gossipy that it doesnt stop even if they migrate to Aus or even to Mars. Her daughter is going to get married to that guy, that guy is unemployed right now, this lady is having Diabetes, that friend just bought a car...etc etc. And if you meet another curry down the street, they immediately find a link between your family and their's, and hey presto you're talking to a distant cousin already! It's really annoying and I wish I could shut them all up. But I can't cos it cant be done by shutting the mouths, cos it's all programmed in the genes hello!

Now I don't mean to demean anyone's culture here. This is exactly what's happening among curry immigrants over here and I guess just as much as we have great cultural values and traits, we have some pretty negative ones too. Like I said before the best combination is to pick the good ones and leave the bad ones from both cultures, all you curry buddies living overseas :) and good luck!

Current Music: Pardesiya (Hindi Remix)

A Cinderella Story

Cinderella was bored and tired of her routine life. She worked so hard, slept so little, cried a river of tears but beautiful things hardly happened - oh no, not to her! She dreamed of a Prince who would love her forever, one who would wipe all her tears away. Days and years went by, no Prince came along. Then one beautiful day she gets to go to a ball...a grand big ball. Her fairy-Godmother dresses her up in a beautiful gown and pretty glass slippers, and asks her to return by midnight. Off she goes with stars in her eyes...

A waltz of romance, a waltz of magical rendevous, a waltz of promises and beautiful dreams coming true...a dance cheek to cheek...an 'I Love You' so sure...a fairy-tale coming true. She meets a handsome Prince who wouldn't leave her side during the entire evening. He falls in love with her and she too. Cos she never realised that someone could give her this much attention and love...that someone like him truly cares for her and wants her in his life for sure. They talk, laugh, smile and dance through the whole evening. He assures her that she is the one. She couldn't believe that her dreams are taking real form. And then the clock strikes 12! She runs home, back to her rags, hoping he would come take her away some day. And that day never comes...

Guys don't ask what happened. It's all over. Turned out that he had some conditions that I can't seem to fulfil. The dinner went well and I had even written a post on it, but didn't have time to publish it. And then we had this heart-breaking conversation last night and that's when I decided that it's not appropriate to publish that sappy dinner post at all...hence this new post now. I'm not all that upset cos I sort of knew this would happen. Nothing beautiful lasts too long in my life. But I'm glad I had a week of sweet romance...a week of dreams coming true...a week long fairy-tale in my life-long misery. Too short? It's ok...cos the longest bonds I have had haven't made me this happy either. The clock strikes 12...folks I'm back to real life now. Thanks all for being with me throughout this week's experience in clouds.

Guys watch this video...sad but truly beautiful.

Current Music: How Could An Angel Break My Heart by Toni Braxton (The Phantom version)

The Happiness Of The Pursuit

Hey guys...wanna hear the gos from my first date with Mr.Darcy last night? Well you're gonna hear it anyways ;-). Some girls wanted to know what I wore...well nothing fancy - it was just a movie so I wore khaki 3/4 pants, a black lace top and bronze flats. He came around at 6:30pm and picked me up at my gate. He was wearing light-blue denims and a grey t-shirt, quite casual. Girls let me tell ya he looked real gooooood ;-) but I pretended not to notice at all - just didn't want Mr.Darcy's head to explode. So off we went. He insisted it was his shout and that I could pay for the next movie etc etc (next movie? Hello!). He was quite chattery as usual and once we were inside the cinemas, he was still chattery, well is it any surprise? But when the movie started he was so engrossed in it that I think he was in Will Smith's shoes...totally inside the movie! Guys are always like that ha. Well the movie was excellent...absolutely loved it, partly cos it is based on a true story and also because it's got one hell of an inspirational streak to it. Had me in tears through one particular scene...when Will Smith locked himself and his son up in a public toilet just for one night cos they didn't have a place to sleep. That was truly heart-breaking! I hated Will's wife's character in this movie. I think she was a just a weak woman who couldn't stand by her husband - a discouraging and impatient wife to have. Anyways those who didn't get to see it yet, go see it...it definitely got brownie points from me.

The movie ended in a happy note so I was all cheerful once again as lights were turned on. Mr.Darcy and I walked out of the cinemas grinning and agreeing how good the movie was. It was about 10pm then and since the next day is a working day, we decided to go home straight away. As we were walking back, he started yakking again about how nice it was to have my sweet company etc etc. So we reached my place...and then as he dropped me near the gate, he stood there for a while to chat, say for about 10mins. He was being a true gentleman...didn't try to smother me with a kiss like a lust-shot maniac...but he did give me a peck on the cheek just before we said our goodbyes :).

Then he goes home and txts me immediately asking when he could see me again LOL! I said I'm not sure and that I'll let him know. He 'reckons' we should meet again for dinner on Thursday night. hmmmmm...I don't mind cos I really don't have any other plans but I wonder if this is going too fast. But he said he wants to get to know me as he feels some genuine liking and attraction for me - also he said that he's not someone who drags things unnecessarily so he likes to see me as often as possible. He says he has never met anyone like me before and that he feels I'm the ONE although he wants to get to know me more...OMG did he even say that! Well he did duhhh! He's bonkers...we have only known each other for like 3 days cmon now. Anyways, I said to him that we need to be good friends first...and then he said to me that he knows that already and not to be a smart-ass LOL! Alritey then Mr.Darcy let's take it slow and let's see how you feel about me in say 3 months' time. If you read the title of this post, I jumbled the movie title to suit the state of Mr.Darcy's mission. It's the chase...he's thrilled and so happy in this chase but let's see if he remains happy and in this chase over time - the chase should not stop even if he reaches his goal. The chase should continue but in a different manner. Time either weakens or strengthens a bond cos our deepest emotions always compete against time. Time doesn't wait for anything...so either our emotions grow or they die as time flies. So lets see if the happiness of his pursuit makes him realise that true happiness lies in the pursuit itself and not in the destination.

Those of who expected some juicy bits, well I'm sorry nothing like that happened, I swear hehe. oh alright then just one bit haha! Well as we were watching the movie, his hunky arm accidentally brushed mine many times without both of us doing it deliberately...but guess what...he didn't even notice it as he was glued to the screen like a zombie on drugs...in my head I was like 'mann are you on general anaesthesia or what?' :). Well anyways I guess some men pretend not to know anything duhhh, or it may be that he really didn't think any light physical contact was such a big deal. Well you see guys, it's a girl-thing...being touched by a cute guy in some remote way is a big excitement for us girls hehe. Anyways I must say he was quite decent, very friendly and extremely fun to be with. I can confidently say I like being around him...he makes me smile, laugh and just be myself. That's a rare. So I like his company. But nah I aint all over him already. Just like him, I want time to get to know him better too. So right now we are just friends and trust me when I say that ok :) WE ARE JUST FRIENDS hehe. Tomorrow night we are going out for Dinner...to a place near the beach. It will be alot of fun and this time we will get more time to talk cos there are no movies or pop-corn munching movie-maniacs sitting behind us. Hopefully he won't catch a boat and sail across the seas with me! He's that crazy about me, I can tell.

I'm playing a beautiful Hindi song today...it's one of my favs, from the movie JISM. Now I agree the actress (Bipasha Basu) in this video is a bit too liberal with her leg movements LOL, but I just love the song. Enjoy!

Current Music: Jaadu Hai Nasha Hai

Current Music Update: I Won't Leave You Lonely by Shania Twain

Mr.Darcy Meets Keshi

Guys you wouldn't believe what happened in the weekend. My life sure is full of surprises. Ok let me tell you what really happened (I can't wait!). There's this Indian guy who lives in the next street from mine. I have seen him a couple of times and I must say he's quite a good-looking bloke. But he's one of the most arrogant guys I have ever seen cos he never smiles and always looks away whenever I crossed paths with him. Well I never paid any attention cos I don't like arrogant dudes, not even if they look real good. What does he think he is, some kind of superstar? Yeah so right you're good-looking, so what? That don't impress me much ah ah ah - I'm with Shania on that one baby hehe. In my mind, I named him Mr.Darcy from Pride & Prejudice, cos he truly reminded me of that proud and rude character urggggg! So whenever I saw him, in my head I used to say 'hey Mr.Darcy have a good day then, you big fat snob'. Then few months ago when I was in this Indian shop looking for some Hindi movies, this lady I have known for ages (my little niece's after-school-care teacher that I have known for many years now) walks in to the same shop. Let's call her Naina. Naina is a beautiful lady, very sweet and kind and she's about my mum's age. She says HI to me and then guess who was right behind her...it was Mr.Darcy, apparently he is her son! Lo and behold I was jaw-dropped but didn't show it, just smiled and kept on talking to the lady as she's very friendly and really likes me alot. You think Mr.Darcy smiled? Hell na, he just went about doing his thing and didn't even say a word to me. Well that day was over and I never saw him again, thank God!

I had to attend a wedding last Sat. An Indian friend of mine was getting married to an Aussie girl and it was their Hindu wedding ceremony. So I dolled myself up in a beautiful pink saree and drove to the Hall at about 6pm. Mum was invited too. So we both went there and sat with some Aussie couples who were very friendly (I didn't know many people at that wedding). So my mum and I were chatting just before the wedding started and guess who we saw coming through the doors? Naina and her Mr.Darcy son! OMG that was a shocker and I was like 'I hope Naina don't see me, cos I don't want that snob son to sit next to me' etc etc. But when there were so many empty tables at that time, they came crashing through the crowd to where we were seated, LOL how bizzare! Naina was so glad she found me and my mum in the crowd, cos she said that she didn't know many people there too and wanted good company. Well guess what...Naina sits next to my mum and Mr.Darcy sits next to me WTF! In my mind I was like 'yeah rite mate you better be nice to me or else I'll make you regret it for a very long time', but I was in for a very BIG surprise! As Naina intro'd me to him, he smiled and turned towards me and didn't ever turn anywhere else again! He was such a chatterbox and just couldn't stop talking to me even when the wedding ceremony was going on. In my mind I was like 'could you shutup Mr.Darcy cos you're way too flirtish and making me tired with your gibberish'..ah ah but there was no stopping guys. But he was cute, very much a gentleman and quite the opposite of what I thought about him. He was so very friendly and so much of fun to be around. Can you believe that this was Mr.Darcy from the next street? I still can't.

After the couple was wedded and the altar-ceremony was over, loud Bollywood music was played, and Mr.Darcy coudn't talk at all LOL! So he said he would like to go out with me for a walk as the noise was irritating him. So I agreed and we went out and chatted outside while our mums chatted inside. He deprived me of a timely dinner cos he wasn't hungry and continued to chat with me outside (though he did ask me if I wanted to go in and have dinner to which I said 'not yet' ;-)). What alot he had to talk! He said he has seen me a couple of times too and had inquired his mum about me :). And then we got on to talking about how hard it is to find a partner etc, and he was so very interested in knowing what sort of partner I'm looking for, and he told me everything that had happened in his life, yeah in just a couple of hours of meeting me duhhh! Now is he really stupid or is he very open-hearted? I guess the latter. I could sense that. And he told me he could sense good vibes from me ooo lala! Well after a while we went in and had dinner - I think we were the last to have dinner. He knew quite alot of people at the wedding, and everyone was asking him who I was...cos he wouldn't go anywhere without me...LOL that was cute. Then around 10:30pm we decided to go home...as we walked to the car park, he wanted to walk me and my mum to my car. I said that it was ok and for them to get going home as it was dark. He managed to get my number. As soon as I went home I get a txt msg asking if I reached home safely. After an exchange of few more txt msgs in the last 2 days, Mr.Darcy is now asking me out (as a friend ofcourse - don't worry we are not in love yet hehe)...can u believe that? He wants to take me to the movies on Tue night to see 'Pursuit Of Happyness'. What say guys?

The Wedding was too beautiful to describe in words. I'm sorry guys I couldn't take any pics cos I left my camera at home, just like a grand idiot. But I might get some pics from my friends, hopefully. Once I get them I'll share them with you. I wanted to take a pic of Mr.Darcy from my mobile phone, but I thought that would be too fast. So I didn't do it. Let me see if I can grab hold of a glimpse of him soon and post it here ok?? So that's the story of Mr.Darcy meeting Keshi and how he became good friends with her. I was really surprised by how sweet-natured he is as opposed to the impression I had of him. Looks can be deceiving alrite. When you talk to someone, you get to know their real nature. So tell me, was your weekend this scandalous? :)

Current Music: Superstar by Jamelia

My Best Friend's Wedding

How would you feel if a good friend of your's didn't let you know he was seeing someone and is about to get married, and then all of a sudden you hear it from someone else? Well that happened to me during my Chrissie break. A very close guy friend of mine (who was also interested in me at one stage although I wasn't interested in him in that way) is about to get married, and I got to know about it when he came down to Sydney on holz in Dec - ah ah but I didn't get to know it through him, now let me tell you the story!

Let's call him M. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I need to be told about everything that's happening in M's life, but he and I were pretty close, and we did share alot of things between us. We fight alot too and then we always get back together. I could call him my best guy friend in Syd, yeah that's right we were pretty close with each other for years. M left Syd in Oct for work purposes and kept in touch with me too. Well one night in Dec I went out with my friends, and one of them told me 'hey Keshi do you know M is getting married and he's going to be in Syd next week?'. It was like this huge nuclear bomb falling on my head! Not cos I was jealous (please I'm not jealous!) but it came to me as a total shock, cos I had to hear it from someone else and not him. I'd have imagined M telling that to me himself. I was like 'whaaaat, really, he didn't even txt me saying he was coming down??'. And then my mood sorta changed (you all know what an A-class drama queen I am). I guess the girl who told me the news saw it in my eyes that I was a tad shocked so she stirred it more by giving me detailed info about his girl, wedding plans etc etc...talk about super bitchdom guys!

Anyways, days later I met him at a family party and guess who he was with...his brandnew fiance, holding hands and introducing her to everyone around. He saw me from afar but he didn't even bother to say HI. He just smiled and nodded from afar, that's all. Why is he like that? I'm seeing him after about 2 months since he left Syd and yet he didn't wanna say HI to me? That was very strange. Anyways it may have been cos he was with his girl. Well after a good 20 mins or so, he came upto where I was, and I felt a lump in my throat...only cos this was a guy I knew so well - almost like my brother and to see him acting so strange was hurtful. So he intro'd me casually to his girl and that was it, he quickly went away with her. Huh! I didn't let that spoil my mood though cos after all I felt that M must be feeling odd for some reason that he might explain to me later.

Next big shocker...2 weeks pass without meeting him again at all and no txts nothing, and I hear from that same girl that he had left Syd already! What, even without txting me a goodbye?? Now you must be wanting me to calm down and probably thinking I have no right to feel this agitated...but hey that's so not M! He's such a chatterbox and txts me all the time about this and that. So to leave Syd without even saying goodbye to me was not something I was prepared for. Well I just kept quiet. In my mind I thought that he'd become a mega snob after meeting his fiance and maybe I'm just a stupid fool (nothing new there) to think I meant something to him...to think that I was a friend he valued.

Next shock revelation...just today (after about 2weeks since he left Syd) M txts me saying he's truly sorry about how everything took place and how he left even without a goodbye (told ya so that that was so not him!). But this time when I received his txt I didn't feel the same as before. Why? Many reasons for that. Firstly he never told me about his GF when the whole world seemed to know about it. And then he came down without even telling me he's gonna be here for a break. Also the way he behaved at the party like I was a stranger was too painful to even imagine. And then he left even without a goodbye?? All of that made me feel like I'm not even a remote friend in his life. So WTH was I thinking all this time? I told him exactly that as a reply to his txt. He said he couldn't talk to alot of people, not just me and then I said 'Im not alot of people!'. He was sorry and hell yeah I'm sorry too...I'm not gonna cop bullshit from friends this way again. If you're a friend, show it...words don't prove nothing...your actions speak volumes. When your friends meet new people and are among them with you, you can really test the genuineness of the friendship. I'm talking with blockbuster experience here aha!

Have a good one guys.


Current Music: Don't Speak by No Doubt

A Sassy Confession

My sweet friend Rose cast me with a magic spell which requires me to take up her real cute tag. It's about listing 10 things that define your style. Rules are 'The 10 things should mean something special to you. It may be music, books, perfumes, hobbies, favourite person, a movie star, a movie, a vacation, a pet, something you do to get you out of a bad mood etc. Let the imagination soar' says Rose. So basically it's about listing 10 things that truly define your style. Here I go then.

10 things that define my style:

1. Ocean
I can be calm and mysterious, but then again I can be as wild as a tidal wave. Cos I'm pretty natural and say/do what I truly feel - nothing can stop me. Just like the waves I can't hide my true feelings.

2. Summer
I get you out of your homes and make you have lots of fun. I'm warm, passionate, friendly and if I'm really into ya I can be like an endless Summer night ;-). At the same time beware I can burn ya badly babehs so have your Sunscreen on!

3. Lotus
As you can see my blog profile pic is also of a Lotus flower. I'm like the Lotus cos I'm in the distant waters, always alone but happy in pink, and seeking pure bliss through the help of so many other beautiful flowers like you.

4. Window

You can see through me, beautiful views of what lies behind me. On some days I'm foggy and on other days I'm as clear as crystal. I can give you a touch of magic if you are willing to be by my side and look through my eyes...

5. Opera House
I'm difficult to be fully grasped in one go. You'd have to walk arond me alot of times to see my whole self. You'd appreciate me but would not still be able to fully understand my mental architecture cos I'm quite bizzare!

6. My mother
She is me and I am her. She is a woman of grace and gratitude. She is a good friend and a whole lot of fun to be with. She defines my existence and my true nature.

7. Baby Doll perfume
A fresh and raw fragrance that makes you long for me more and more. I can linger on in your mind for a very long time. And the unique shape of the bottle resembles my strange strange mind.

8. A Long Road
You can't tell where I could lead you. Just travel along and follow the signs. Once you start driving down this road you wouldn't want to go back. Cos I can take you past beautiful scenery on a magical journey. I don't have an end cos wherever you may wish to stop, there's always another turn in me inviting you to take.

9. Sticky Date Pudding
Rich, yummy, inviting and alluring. And I'm better-tasting with some coffee by the side. ooo lala!

10. Music
I'm the rhythm, I'm the beat, I'm the melody, I'm the song, I'm the guitar sounds, I'm the singer, I'm the stereo, I'm the listener. Cos music is my body and soul.

You too can take up this tag if you wish to. Thanks Rose for this beautiful meme that introduced me a little bit more to myself!

btw I know it's Thursday - day for HNT (Half-Nekked-Thursdays) LOL! I'm quite 'nekked' in this last pic I suppose...can't you see through my nekked nekked eyes? ;-) Yeyyy my very first HNT, Enjoy!

Current Music: You Can Win by Modern Talking

Dream Lover

You know it's not everyday that you see someone you really get attracted to for no particular reason. mmm well maybe cos that person is physically spot on to start with and much more. You know what I mean...eye-candy, lust-fest, whatever you may call it. That happened to me this morning on the train. I got on the train and was looking for a seat. There were 2 seats available in that carriage...one next to a woman and one next to a guy. My female hormones ofcourse chose the latter even without seeing his face LOL! So I went ahead and sat next to the lanky guy with cute blonde locks. He had an opened book and a coffee mug on his lap...he was engrossed in his reading. I was iPodding and didn't notice his face much (not that I could turn right and stare into his face...now that would be embarassing). But I could just sense he was quite attractive in a very different way (not the celebrity kind though) and that he had ahemmmm, long legs that ended up in big shoes ;-), strong manly thighs (haha yes I noticed them through the corner of my sneaky eyes), ultra-sexy blonde locks falling on his forehead and mainly that he was a manly man. You know that it's so very hard to spot a manly man these days without him looking like David Hasslehoff! This guy was a natural and that is even more attractive. He didn't have any fancy clothes on...just a blue denim, white shirt and a brown jacket. Didn't seem to care much about how he looked...and he didn't ogle at me like most men do. And that to me is very attractive too. I felt a strange affinity with him I don't know why. It's like I've known this guy all my life and that I finally met him. He was my dream lover for 30mins or so and it felt so gooooood. And just like a dream, he got out and disappeared one stop before mine. Don't ask me why I didn't talk to him. I saw him...sometimes that's all that matters.

Current Music: All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You by Heart

Good People

So you think you're a good person. What do you think a good person is like? Everyone has different criteria for it but there's one thing that is common to all good people. I believe good people don't wish death upon someone else. Did any of you see Saddam Hussein's hanging footage on TV? How disgusting and how very low was that? No man deserves that! No man. I'm sure even death-penalty supporters would have frozen in fear and shock when they saw the footage. How many of you still support this kind of barbaric acts? You may say he deserves it . And so it's revenge is it? I don't care what he did before but who are we to take his life? Besides did it prove/solve anything at all other than fuelling further violence? Along with his death, so many others died as a result of sectarian riots. By killing someone, does it bring peace? If it does, just tell me how? If it does bring peace then we should have seen some miracle peace in Iraq rather than those additional violent deaths the day after!!

How can you be happy about someone else's death no matter how bad that person was? Death is so final and it doesn't bring any solutions with it. Just why don't people realise that from violence we can't resolve violence? Is this concept very difficult to understand? Does organised butchery in the name of Law/God/Society stand for justice? HOW? I believe Saddam's execution was not justice. It was pure vengeance. And that's all Death Penalty ever serves, be it Saddam or any other criminal. For if it brought justice, why do we have more and more crime and violence on the rise. Why is this world on the brink of being swamped by terrorism and war? Cos people are not afraid to die anymore. Cos we the 'good' people are promoting death! Cos we the 'good' people are teaching our youngsters that if someone hurt you, that it's ok to go and hang them...that it's ok to KILL. Violence is being justified by us, so what can we expect from the average man? So people, the death penalty never worked, isn't working and won't work. No one will ever get any justice/closure from it. It only worsens the pain cos it's only a form of vengeance not justice, and vengeance only digs the wound. The criminal dies with his convictions not having learnt anything at all. The victims' families will suffer for life anyways. We the foolish killers think we are better than the criminals, when we have gone and committed the same crime! So we think we are doing the right thing as a bunch of 'good' people? Don't wish death upon someone else and claim yourself to be a good person, cos you are not. If you were happy at seeing/hearing of someone's death, then it's equivalent to having blood in your hands. Good people can't/won't find a reason to justify violence.

Here are few Buddhist quotes about violence:

~~Through violence, you may 'solve' one problem, but you sow the seeds for another.

~~Violence can only be justified if you are unenlightened

~~They are not following dharma who resort to violence to achieve their purpose. But those who lead others through nonviolent means, knowing right and wrong, may be called guardians of the dharma.

And that last quote is my definition of 'good' people. So don't be a commoner who rejoices in the suffering of another. Be a better human being and set an example to those lost people. Be a shining light instead of one of the millions of unlit lamps.

Current Music: It's A Mistake by Men At Work

From Australia With Luuurve...

Folks here are more pics (click to enlarge) from my break (continued from last post)...Enjoy and have a good weekend!

O what a Snowman!


















Silent Night...What A Sight!


















The Three Sisters of the Blue Mountains













The amazing view below from the Scenic Skyway cable car in Blue Mountains



















Mermaids comin out of the water, all set for hunk-spotting ;-)













Cuz and I hitting on a tall, dark and handsome Aboriginal caveman ooo lala!












Trying to attain Nirvana in a jiffy....













Here we are now, entertain us!













Is it Down Under or is it Greece?


















A Tortoise with 3 faces?














Pancakes On The Rocks...













In front of the Bridge, Waiting For Tonight...














Opera House at night...


















The Bridge before she dressed up for NYE...


















There she goes!















What a dazzling beauty...















And she finally meets 007 ;-)
















Current Music: About Us by Brooke Hogan feat Paul Wall

007 Charm

So I ushered him in...he's tall, dark and handsome. I kissed him passionately and so he tells me to slow down cos we had just met. He's new in town and I was dying to bury my past. But hey who said I could do that just like that? He's new alright...but he aint a memory eraser. He isnt a magician either. With him I could make new plans but sticking to those plans is my responsibility. With him I could work hard on those plans but the path that's been given can only be known by my fate. So let me slow down, not get carried away with his 007 charm and take things as they come. Now let me introduce him to all of you. He is none other than the brandnew year 2007. Yeah I have just added 007 into my boyfriend list ;-). I have made few resolutions (bound to be broken by April though) but I'm not gonna go crazy about sticking to them. Let it all unfold as it's supposed to unfold. I can only try to change what I can change and I believe there's a limit to that too. HAPPY NEW YEAR all, let's welcome him and let's just chillax. New years can be demanding...cos people try to tie themselves to new and strict resolutions that can sometimes be daunting. Really, how many of them can be truly followed? I remember I set myself a goal too high at the dawn of 2003. And something totally unexpected happened in March that year that changed me completely. Something I never even imagined would ever happen. So people, let's just have a rough guideline for the New Year but let's not be too hard on ourselves. Cos nothing in life is guaranteed, so we should not let resolutions stop us from being who we really are. Just be yourself and what's gonna happen will happen anyways. Just take it as it comes guys, in true 007 style ;-).


I'm back alright fellas. I had a great break with my family and friends. Too many getaways to squeeze into one post so I'll just jot down a quick update for ya with some random pics (I can't upload em all cos there are too many pics!). So here's the summary of my break:

**Kris Kringle pressie to my cuz was a photo frame with his baby's pic in it, an IL DIVO cd and a Marzipan chocolate. tnxx folks for your great ideas, they really helped and boy o boy he was chuffed at seeing the photo of his baby aaaaaand that CD ofcourse!
**My cousins from NZ arrived in Syd on the 19th of Dec (that's one of them in this pic with me. She arrived with her husband). Took them to so many places around Sydney (Manly Beach is one of em and one of my fav places), too many pics, too much fun and a whole lot of dancing ooo lala!
**Didn't get to rent a boyfriend for Christmas cos then I'd have been shot before NYE. Wanted to live a little bit more guys. So I'm sorry for not having any juicy gos to share about that hehehe.
**There were far too many gifts under our Christmas tree that my cousin nearly fainted seeing them! That morning she videoed the tree only cos she wanted to show her folks in NZ how crazy we are about giving gifts LOL! At one point I had a mental breakdown cos of buying gifts for such a large family. And no I didn't forget to donate to the Children's Burns Unit in Sydney.
**Had one huge Christmas and Birthday party (of another cuz) on the 25th that started with lunch and went on till after dinner. And hell na they couldn't stop my dancing. Dun wanna share those pics cos I was over the top with my moves people jeeeez you dun wanna see em!
**Drove to Blue Mountains the very next day with a huge gang of family and friends. Too beautiful a trip to describe. Guys I was sticking to the speed limit ok. I hope you all did the same.
**New Year's Eve was spent in the city watching fireworks at the Harbour Bridge. It was absolutely breath-taking! Not enough words to describe it's beauty. Hope you all saw it on the news. Paris Hilton was around there too but who cares LOL! There were about a million dazzling people there that night. What a feeling it was to be at such a huge party - it was the biggest party I have ever been to.


So yeah I had a ball but right now I'm down with a bad cough. I think it's cos I'm missing my cousins and all the good times we had during this break. Anyways 007 has arrived and what could be better than that ha! Thanks for all the wishes here, emails, txts, phone msgs and YM offliners when I was away. I was stoked to bits to receive so many messages from so many people across the globe. It's just amazing! Uttsy and the gang from Mumbai, TY for that very sweet phone msg on NYE - it was truly heart-warming! Now guys tell me all about your break too. I hope it was much more fun than mine. Will update more later on about my break, more pics etc. For now, I'm so glad to be back with all of you lovely people HUGGGGGGGGGZ, I sure did miss u tonz! Shall be in your blogs soon.


Current Music: I Love It by Sneaky Sound System

more pics from the break (click to enlarge)...