Eyes that Touch...

I know a pair of eyes that are the most beautiful ever...
They capture my heart and touch my soul...
'Cos those eyes not only see,
They listen,
They speak,
But mostly they touch...
Touch the deepest places of my soul...
Touch me with every word they speak...
They touch me just by listening to me...
Touch me when they don't do anything at all..
They touch me in a way that just cannot be told...
So touch me with that magic again and again
For they show me how it's not to be in pain...


And those eyes that 'touch' belong to a wonderful girl called Musings...and her birthday is on the 25th of Jan. Happy Birthday mesmerising eyes m000nie! You deserve only THE BEST. May all your current secret wishes and dreams come true in this brand new year of your life and may God bless you with a long and joyous life!

Folks, let's celebrate m000nie with each of you writing few poetic lines about her, as I know she loves poems :) It doesn't have to be English...you can use your own language and just translate for all of us if you can, thanks! Let's start the dazzling party folks! m000nie your beautiful eyes and mesmerising spirit just take my breath away...Have a great day on Wednesday sweety!

Since everyone wanted to see m000nie's eyes, here's the link she provided :

EYES EYES BABY

Guys I wont be regular in blogging for the next 3 weeks or so 'cos I have to attend my cousin's wedding in New Zealand. I will be flying out on the 25th (hence these early wishes to m000nie in order to celebrate her before I leave), so till then please take care and don't miss me too much :*( I will miss you all like crazy and I will try to log in from there :) MUAHHHHHHHHH all, Au Revoir!

Wishes

How many of us have great many wishes. Infact there is no one without a single wish inside of them. Every damn living thing wishes for something. Even animals wish for things...my ex-pet kitty Cindy used to wish that she was a moviestar 'cos she always acted like one...walking around like Marilyn Monroe and snobbing other kitties...lol so cute. Anyways have you noticed that it's wishes that don't mostly come true...we wish for something but we can only wish for that...that's why we say 'I wish..', 'you wish!', 'wishing I could...', 'I wish for you...', 'best wishes...' etc etc. Cos we can only wish at the time we wish and fingers crossed, hope for the best.

Once upon a frikkin time, I used to wish for a perfect world...atleast around me...great everlasting friendships, boy next-door being a Tom Cruise or Hugh Grant look-a-like (yeah right...Keshi roll her eyes...), going to parties dressed up in JLO kinda clothes, cat-walking the ramp strutting my stuff ;-), being an air hostess who's the hottest in the air lol!, perfect days with sun and sun alone, mum to be happy forever, dad to be by my side when I marry that over-dosed guy, husband and kids that look like the Brady Bunch family, cooking food that look and taste like something out of a recipe book...oh how I wish! 'Cos not all friends remained forever, no Cruise look-a-alike next door but alot of Richard Symmonds look-a-likes hell yeah, no JLO kinda clothes could be worn out cos mum simply wouldnt let me :(, no air-hostess job 'cos my teachers figured out I had the kind of cranium that could be used on ground, no perfect days 'cos the sun sets everyday and the darkness comes out, mum turned a widow quite young, dad didn't even see me going past year 10, no Brady Bunch family - not even a Mr.Brady duhh, no cooking without the smoke alarm going off - leave aside the recipe books! Gosh didn't I say these were just wishes...that these were just desires man, not confirmed promises from God. I think even He just wishes for a break from me sometimes lol!

I think Dreams are different...they are kind of goals in life and most of us achieve atleast some of them in our lives...but wishes are always wishes...why? Right now I wish for a genie to come out of nowhere and make this one wish come true...I wish that all your wishes come true - quick, give me one current wish dudes :)

The Birthday Present

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y T A N V I !!

I know it's on the 18th of January but I wanted to cheat and be the first to wish Tanvi, one of the very few genuine people on the net. She is my little sis that I never had. She was my friend when everyone drifted away from me. She tried to understand me...took time and effort to get to know me...did not just diss me just cos others did. She went through alot herself but was never too late to come wipe my tears...she was always there, somewhere on the net in bits and bytes, pouring her love and care for me. So Tanvi, on your birthday I want to wish you a beautiful day with alot of love and care from all your loved-ones and may that love and care last for many more years to come...MUAHHHHHHH!

On my birthday I get very emotional hehe...it's like I just want everyone to know I exist, lol! I seek attention and want to be wished well etc...yes I'm vain but don't forget I'm only human. I love cakes, candles, presents, chamapgne and celebrations...I want people, music, dancing, chatter, food and laughter. But thinking of all that, now I wonder if that's what birthdays are really about?? It's a celebration of life...yes..but leaving the party out, lets think a bit more deep. On a birthday, maybe one should think about what he/she has been to others so far in his/her life...what are his/her achievements in terms of being a human being...what have you been to others. Cos that's what really matters in the end. Not your money, clothes, shoes, cars, houses, parties or degrees. It's what sort of person you have turned out to be and realising what your mission in this life is. I know I was born to try...to try even if all hope is lost...try in my darkest hour even if I don't see any light at the time. The purpose I'm here is still not very clear but as long as I keep trying I will get closer to the mission. This year on my birthday, I'm going to take a quiet walk along the beach and think back on what I have been to myself and to others...whether I have been what I should really be. Whether I deserve the best birthday present ever - the realisation of myself. Look at the radiant candles on my cake and think of how many people's lives I may have enlightened - or how much more I have to work on it. With Tanvi, I know she is just being herself and doing her bit the right way...she's an adorable little darling who has a heart of gold...Tanvi you have lived every minute of your life to the fullest, never hurting anyone and I admire you for that. Your positive and selfless spirit just rocks! I dedicate 'Disappear' by Hoobastank especially for you..I remember you told me once that you love this song :) So tell me guys, what does a Birthday really mean to you and how do you usually spend your birthday? What do you intend to do this year on your birthday?

Independent Hunnies

Girls girls girls...my Chalrlies' Angels (Uttsy and st000nie;-) and all the other beautiful and smart angels here...honestly tell me how many of you are 'decently' Independent? uh oh...before telling me that, you must tell me what Independence means to each of you...to me it means enjoying my freewill to the fullest, having my own money, space, peace and freedom to think, speak, do whatever I want without having to feel guilty about it and hurting anyone's feelings.

I think women of this era have come a long way since the olden days...they have evolved from mere housewives to smart working housewives and super mums...from mere daughters to intelligent and financially independent working women...from dependents to breadwinners of familes...from basically nothing to THE ONLY thing ;-) Women have always been an essential part of the society and family...if not for women there won't be a mother, daughter, sister and a damn smart friend around..hehe...boys chill - you are equivalent in all that too. But some men make their women so dependent on them that these women have no freedom to do what they want. I have friends who are smart and having good positions at work but they still depend on their husbands/dads/boyfriends etc for many many things that they shouldn't really be dependent for. I don't mean that they shouldn't be dependent at alll and that they should totally run free...everyone needs to depend on someone somehow...but it should never be gender-driven and a total invasion of individual freedom. Personal freedom and space is as important as much as mutual consent and respect. My mum was a housewife and although my mum and dad loved each other alot, she was completely dependent on my dad for many things...for money and many decisions. Her whole world revolved around my dad. And when dad died she was at a complete loss...but being the smarty that she is, she picked up and survived. But she did go through alot to arrive at that, as a result of her total dependence on dad before his death. Times have changed...but I still know of some women who won't do anything without their men's consent. Even if that means choosing someone to marry, wearing certain clothes, going out with the girls, drinking and dancing etc..what say...how many of you too know such women?

All I can say is...do what you like girls and be independent in your thinking as long as it won't demean you or your loved ones...being smart and doing a great job aren't enough to set you free in life...just think independant. That doesnt mean being stubborn and not listening to the people you love, but it means thinking for yourself and doing what you think is right as long as it doesn't hurt someone else. All the women who are Independent throw your hands above me...c'mon now ;-)

Mental Judge

Someone said that I'm too clingy...well I may be...so what? What about you? You are too un-clingy (if there's such a word, lol!). We judge alot of people and their morals every single day based on their looks, thoughts, words, deeds, jobs, life-styles etc etc.. Basically we are walking judges, are we not? I'm not ashamed to say that I judge alot of people too. Not that I think Im perfect but it's hard not to judge anyone. That's a normal human trait - to judge someone the moment they meet you or from long-term acquaintances. But what is the limit to judging so we don't over-judge someone? I mean when do we stop being unfair or being over-confident about ourselves that we point fingers at others as if we are too good in every frikkin way? Judgment overrule! :)

Take this example and tell me if I was being too judgmental or not (this is a true story).

One of my friends has a long-term girlfriend - he is a Hindu and she is a Muslim (they are both in their late 20s). His parents don't approve of him marrying her just because of her religion (but that's not my main point here). So he's waiting for them to approve of her so he can marry her. I could live with that lol, but what's bothering me is that he doesn't want to talk about her with anyone else...he doesnt want to mention about her to anyone outside his close friends-circle! He doesnt even like to be seen out with her especially by his relatives. I find that ridiculous and disrespectful to the girl. I'm sorry but I believe that Love conquers all and nothing will stop you if you love someone. And the fact that he's keeping her in the closet till the parents approve of her, is just weird and too gutless - my judgement on him.

Ok here's the question...I told him that he's confused what love is and that it doesn't look like he knows what true love is...lol he got annoyed with me. And he said that Love is just not movie-perfect and that I live in a dreamland, and that in real life parents' blessings matter alot. True, I agree parents' blessings matter, but hiding her from the society? I think he's a weirdo and that he's a coward and I told him so hehe. Am I being a good judge here or too judgmental or just mental? :) Be honest with what you think. Have I crossed the limits? To me, judging someone is normal comparing with your morals and experiences and that too with an open view to his/her morals...but over-judging occurs when your opinion about someone is formed soully on what you think is right...when you don't see the other person's point of view and when you think that only your views are correct. In this case, I really wouldn't hide my boyfriend even if he's not approved of by my parents...yes, I know that I'm only thinking of what I'd be doing in such a situation, but isn't true love generally blind :) - so what's your verdict on my friend and my judgmental skills?

Discharge me

You Know You're Right - NIRVANA

I will never bother you
I will never promise to
I will never follow you
I will never bother you
Never speak a word again
I will crawl away for good
I will move away from here
You won’t be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it would come to this
Things have never been so swell
I have never felt this well
Pain...You know you’re right...
I’m so warm and calm inside
I no longer have to hide
Let’s talk about someone else
Steaming soup against her mouth
Nothing really bothers her
She just wants to love herself
I will move away from here
You won’t be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it’d come to this
Things have never been so swell
I have never felt this well Pain...
You know you’re right...Pain...

(I'm loving the fact that I can now post music vidoes instead of pics for my posts...atleast till I get bored of it :) I will attach a video for some of my posts in future...and these are songs I love too much and listened to for many years...i.o.w. these songs were there for me when no one else was..hope you'll enjoy them too and would get to know me better from my taste of music. Uttsy and FM are going to love seeing Kurt in action ;-)).

Have you known people who claim that they are your goooood friends but never show it? Well I have known some people like that. When he was depressed, sad and lonely I was around for him...consoling him, telling him that everything will be alright...that the sun will rise again tomorrow wiping away the darkness...that the flowers will bloom again in Spring giving life to Winter-stricken trees...that the birds will sing again ripping away the deadly silence in his ears...that the music will play again in that old dusty jukebox...that there's a rainbow waiting to light up his sky after the pouring rain. He admired me, glorified me, blessed me and spoke about how we would be forever friends...and how thankful he is for all the love and care I gave him...how he looked forward to seeing me everyday, talking to me everyday and bathing in my divine glory...yadda yadda yadda...only in words but. He never showed it. He only spoke of it - yawwwwn! Cos the moment my world came crashing down, he disappeared. He was running away from me like he was trying to avoid a contagious disease. Like I was a demon that was trying to swallow his pride. Like I was a phobia...like I was a worthless piece of garbage that if avoided could bring a peaceful life to him. Yes that's what his friendship was like...only verbal, no actions. Good for you mate...just discharge me cos I wanna be free of your fake admirations and empty words - they don't do anything for me. You are as fake as your words are. I wanted only one thing from you - a good heart but you don't even know what that is - I know, it takes a lot more than just words to have a heart. So thanks for releasing me. Never wanted to even say this but this is my way of getting it off my chest and setting myself free. I will never bother you I will never promise to I will never follow you I will never bother you Never speak a word again I will crawl away for good I will move away from here You won’t be afraid of fear....You know you're right.

November Rain

First of all I wanna thank My_Unveilings (Amy) for all the help she offered regarding video posts. Thanks Amy I love ya and I will always be grateful to you for this! This is one of my favorite songs and it is dedicated to someone who loved me but I didnt have the freedom to love him back then...he's not here anymore. One October was the bluest month for me and it followed with cold November rains forever...

When I look into your eyes

I can see a love restrained

But darlin' when I hold you

Don't you know I feel the same

'Cause nothin' lasts forever

And we both know hearts can change

And it's hard to hold a candle

In the cold November rain

We've been through this such a long long time

Just tryin' to kill the pain

But lovers always come and lovers always go

An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today

Walking away

If we could take the time to lay it on the line

I could rest my head just knowin' that you were mine..all mine

So if you want to love methen darlin' don't refrain

Or I'll just end up walkin' In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own

Do you need some time...all alone

Everybody needs some time...on their own

Don't you know you need some time...all alone

I know it's hard to keep an open heart

When even friends seem out to harm you

But if you could heal a broken heart

Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my own

Sometimes I need some time...all alone

Everybody needs some time...on their own

Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside

And shadows still remain,

ohhh yeahhh I know that you can love me

When there's no one left to blame

So never mind the darkness

We still can find a way

'Cause nothin' lasts forever

Even cold November rain

Don't ya think that you need somebody

Don't ya think that you need someone

Everybody needs somebody

You're not the only one

You're not the only one...

~~November Rain - Guns N Roses

Calling Mr.Right...Hearing Mr.Wrong!

The men I meet, boy oh boy! How come all the other girls have cool guys as their boyfreinds and I somehow get attracted to jerks? Like Linny's latest post stated, I strongly believe I have genes that get me attracted to jerks/losers. Yep let's blame it on the genes. At the beginning he's really cool and very interesting to hang around with. But very soon he'll demonstrate the fact that my genes wont and don't change - they have got me attracted to just another jerk. Trrrrrrring trrrrrrring...woooooooosh - out the door!

Well, what is it that makes you get attracted to someone initially? For me t's the looks...no matter what people say, looks are important for first impressions. I like a guy to be smartly and neatly dressed (not overly neat cos I really would like him to be straight..), I would want him to be decently clean (not stinky as hell that would make me wanna run 871 miles - boy that would be good for my waisteline though..), I would want him to have a cute and honest smile (not a fake one just to find someone to do his laundry or to listen to his snores..) and I would want him to have some sex appeal (now that's really important isnt it?). Well all of these factors are there in most of the guys I meet, but sooner or later he would show that he's either a Momma's boy or Mr.Wrong from Dumbdudeland or jealous and selfish Mr.Know-it-all or Prince Not-so-charming-with-no-manners or Mr.Im-too-simple-and-I-love-Scratching, or Chain-smoking gingivitis speciman or an About-to-become-murder-victim - btw Im the murderer. That don't impress me much..ah ah ahhh...lol! They say love is blind but you certainly can't be blind to all of that can you?

Maybe Im quite unlucky in the Romance Department cos no matter how romantic or what-not I can be, the guy ends up being a jerk. You may think I'm the real loser - well in a way yes cos I don't seem to find my man so easily...but Im not the one who's not impressing them - cos while they are highly impressed with me, they never impress me. Not that I'm playing hard-to-get either, they just simply turn me off. The fact that he's good-looking, has a zillion dollars in his bank, has a new convertible Porche or that he has a posh house with a pool and spa don't impress me - please get real crazy man! Somehow I must admit that I did know few great guys for a while, and that's just before they turned jerky. Yeah, so where are all the great guys? They say either they are married or are gay, so then when is it my turn to bump into my man or is it that he has already turned gay? Please don't say 'Keshi your man will come along at the right time'...like I said before, either he's on a sleeping pill overdose (most probably dead by now) or he wasnt born at all. And please don't say 'Keshi there is a soul mate for everyone and he will come on horseback just for you'...either his horse is brain-dead that it doesnt know how to get here or he's gone somewhere else and happily married, with kids going to kindy by now - oh I give up!

A close friend asked me if I think we are able to be happy without having a partner...my answer is YES...I'm quite happy right now, although it would be good if a man existed in my life. But That's not the only Happiness in life..being happy is totally upto you...it doesnt come from any external source...it's within you and happiness is what you define it to be, and it's a constant vigil one must maintain. But I sure would like to get into a beautiful bridal dress and take nice romantic photos even if there's no marriage after that lol! And yeah...they say Men are from Mars...my man sure is still in Mars not knowing where Earth is - poor guy. Didnt I say I have some special genes that attract me to Martians, well that's why he's still there. What about you, what initial qualities impress you and how easily do they all fall apart after a while? And do you honestly think a Mr./Miss.Right exists or we just have to mould one out of a Mr./Miss.Wrong no matter how pathetic they initially are?

Bridge of Love

G'day mates!! I wish you all a very happy, healthy and successful New Year surrounded by Love! First of all let me tell you how much I missed you all - well actually I can't express it enough, cos words are just not enough. Though I had heaps of fun,parties, dancing, trips etc, a huge part of me was missing...and that was YOU - so, muahhhhhhhhhhh guys and I'm so glad to be back with all of you (Keshi all smiles now :)

On Christmas day I was at a b'day and Christmas party and it was huge! We danced till dawn and I had heaps of fun. But the best night I ever had was the 31st night...the Sydney Harbor bridge as usual was doing it's best to usher the New Year in, in great style. This year's theme was LOVE. The fireworks this time was unbelievable! The bridge had a glowing heart on display and the fireworks started with the song 'Don't funk with my heart' by Black-eyed peas (Attached are some pics of the Sydney Harbor Bridge on New Year's eve 2005) . It was absolutely spellbinding and everyone's spirits were soaring high in Love. It conveyed a very important message...LOVE is the key. Love can cure anything...Love is all we need...Love is all around...Love is in you...learn to Love when all else fails...Love no matter what...don't forget Love...don't discard Love...find that Love...share that Love...spread the Love! Build a bridge of Love between you and your fellowmen to reach out to them...use that bridge to get to their hearts...yes bridge that gap you have been having for so long...build a bridge of Love in this brand New Year.

My New Year's resolutions remain undefined...as long as I have Love in me, I'm confident that the rest will take the righteous path...that no one will be able to put me down...that nothing will upset me to the extent that it will kill my spirit...that every not-so-good thing that will happen will be conquered by that Love in me...that I will survive the wuthering heights...that I will be just fine no matter what, cos I know what Love is. How was your holiday season spent and what about your New Year's resolutions folks? Boy am I not glad to be with all of you again - HUGGGGGGGZ!

2005 more tears

As 2005 has only 11 more days of her life, I want to be thankful for what she gave me and what she didnt. She gave me, but she also took. I guess I still have reasons to smile 'cos what's meant to be will be...

A stormy yet soothing year it was...spent in the moment...never thought too far 'cos I wanted to be just thankful for the day...for the moment...for now. I got closer to God and I realised that life isn't all about having what you want...even what you need...but we have to smile and keep moving...'cos we just might as well. When this year is gone by she will never return...never will she give you another chance to re-do what's already done...to re-write history. They say life is like drawing a picture without an eraser...I say that the heart is like a mirror, once broken it never can be mended to be the way it was before - 'cos even if you super-glue the pieces back together, the scars remain forever. But was my heart unbroken to begin with?

Somethings have been missing from my life for a very long time and even forever...and tears have been a part of my life for a very long time now that I can't even remember when it was last tear-free. Folks I'm not seeking sympathy but this is the true state of my life and somethings are too personal to put up in a blog. I just take one moment at a time and guess what...it really is a great way to chase the blues away - a fantastic way to feel that 5min happiness of having an unbroken heart. And I still remember the fun times, the good tidings, the blessings, my ever-dancing spirit, the people in my life, you beautiful souls...yes I'm thankful for the beauty of life in spite of it's darkness. And this year has been a great guru to me about life's hidden meanings and it came through you too - all of you who gave me so much knowledge and made me realise how diverse and beautiful people can be in their thoughts.

So it's Christmas and the season of peace, joy, love and laughter...Santa and carols...angels and presents...parties and merry times! I've done most of my shopping, posting greeting cards, wrapping gifts and placing them under the tree, stealing my sis' Xmas cakes before Christmas just 'cos I love them lol, and few more clothes and shoe shopping to do. I have to attend few Xmas parties along with 2 bday parties this weekend, a BBQ lunch, a brief getaway with a friend who's here from NZ and we have few people coming over to our place for lunch/dinner over next week. So from this weekend I will be off till the 3rd of January next year...since I have so many people to visit during the holidays, I might not be able to log in from home as much as I do now. Therefore I might not be blogging/visiting your blogs till I return - so please bear with me. And I'm not entirely sure if my blog life is going to last long next year - I will give you my reasons in due time. I'm sure most of you will be away too. So guys have loads of Xmas fun, be merry, eat and drink and dance the worries away...'cos it's not worth spending time thinking about what you don't have...enjoy what you have - get those dancing shoes out of the closet, put em on and strutt your stuff babies ;-) Sleigh bells ring...are you listening....or should it be My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps...:):)

Also I wanna wish my dearest friend Uttara a safe and blissful trip, I will miss u loads my wishing-mermaid! Here's hoping the new year will bring me 2006 less tears. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all! Will miss you heaps when I eat Chritsmas cake and slip-slop-slurrrrp (kiss) under the mistletoe...awwww lol! Stay safe guys, buh byeee, HUGGGGGGZ and MUAHHHHHHZ from Keshi!

Soap Allergy!

Yep that's right, I suffer from soap allergy...lol...but not the kind of soap you're thinking of. More of the soaps that come on TV :) I mean how painfully unrealistic and boring can TV serials get? My mum is the super-fast version of 'The Bold and the Beautiful' (not that I like this serial but it's fun to listen to her telling me of some really amazing occurences that happen in the Forrester family and it's faster to listen to her once a month than actually watch it) . I'm not a person who can sit and watch these serials that don't move from scene-1 through the entire week! Actually 'The Bold and the Beautiful' should be named 'The Slow and the Painful' cos the episodes are excruciatingly slow and surreal. Sometimes when I'm at home and when I have nothing else to do, I sit and watch a daily episode of it with mum. The agony and the make-believe experience they put the poor viewers through is shocking!

One day there was a scene of a guy hanging on to a cliff (after a car accident) and was in grave danger. But then this man will still be hanging in tomorrow's episode as well and will be talking to his girlfriend (who's standing on top of the cliff and is safe btw) about how their love is precious and how they should get back together and live happily ever after. But don't anyone think that he should be saved first? lol! Na he won't be saved for an entire week 'cos the episodes need to be real slow to keep the viewers anticipating in agony...that's torture but some people love it.

Another feature of mega TV soaps is that the mother was once married to her husband's father, that father is now about to get married to that mother's niece, that niece once went out with the mother's ex-boyfriend, and the mother is now about to marry her ex-husband's ex-wife's husband (phewww!) and their daughter is unknowingly going out with her step-brother - obviously (Keshi rolls her eyes...)! Mother will later try to hit on the daughter's boyfriend...or else it wont be a mega-hit soap. If you draw a family-tree for them, it will have branches connecting to each other like no tomorrow!

Real magic too happens in TV soaps...a dead person can come back to life in few episodes' time. How? Well it's easy. The dead person's coffin was stolen on the way to burial and replaced with a rubber mannequin (where were the relatives when this happened?), then some super-doctor knew how to get life back into that body (cos duhh she was apparently only in a coma!), now she comes back alive and goes home to give deadly shocks to her relatives and also to find her husband re-married within few weeks...and that too to her lifetime rival - not a surprise folks. In that few weeks' episodes, the kids have grown from 3yr olds to 18yr olds but the parents still look ever so young and glowing. The dead-and-came-back-to-life mother and father now decide to separate, but a meanie from the past arrives saying she has a love-child with this father! Now there's a burning love-triangle, no wait...it's not a triangle, it's a rectangle 'cos 3 women and 1 man na. Which ghost from the past is coming out of the closet next and what will happen to their love? Now now be patient, wait till you watch the next episode...urgggh rather in the next year!

Folks I really can't watch soaps...they drive me nuts 'cos of how slow, unrealistic and stupid they can get. However when my mum tells me what has happened with Brooke, Eric, Taylor, Ridge etc, it's hilarious 'cos I just cant stop laughing at the supernatural happenings in these families...atleast they give me alot of laughter, ROFL! They should rather be categorised as Comedy. Do you watch serials and if so are you going to start hating me from now on, awww?

An ode to the Daffodils....

ANNOUNCEMENT:
m000nie (Musings) wants everyone to check her blog in the next day or so, as she is going to put up a post for all of you.

Thanks everyone for all your support and most of all for the Love you showered in the last post. You guys are amazing and with people like you, I'd believe anything is possible...peace and unity always starts within a small group and then it can spread worldwide...you all demonstrated that possibility so strongly and I'm oh so happy today. Our feelings get hurt but it's always good when things are spoken out, understood, faults accepted, apologised and forgiven - then everyone is happy. Here's a dedication to each and everyone who supported me to bring m000nie back...it shows how anything is possible with Love. This is one of my favorite poems from school days...and it's especially for you!


I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company
I gazed and gazed but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought.

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude..
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

"I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud"
-William Wordsworth


The Bliss and the Love of you beautiful Daffodils will never fail...THANK YOU! Happy dancing-daffodils weekend all :)

About a girl...

and she is no ordinary girl...

Guys I'm writing this in response to few things that happened recently in blogville. No it's not about the meeting the 000nies had last week - I wasn't told about it either, but that's ok 'cos I understand it happened in a rush. Though I was disappointed at first, I later understood that people didnt have enough time to tell everyone...so it's really ok.

In the past, I have been nullified (with the press of a key) from blogs and lives, by some of my very own so-called blog mates - but that's ok. 'Cos to remain a friend and to be faithful is a hard job to do. It should come naturally and if it doesn't, then it all falls apart. What's built rapidly over lies and fake affection somehow crashes down at the same speed. And really, it's good to be clean and free of fake friendships than maintain them for humanity's sakes or just because you need a huge bunch of friends. These people are no longer my friends...so that's ok. But I must say that all of you who visit me here right now are a bunch of great people and I really value each and everyone of you...so thanks for being there for me, always.

Now leave my sob stories aside. Why I'm writing this is to convey to one such angel, how she influenced my life in very positive ways. It's m000nie (Musings) - she has never let me down in any way, even amidst abuse to her blog and other problems because of my friendship with her. She never lost her patience with me. She never blamed me for something that wasn't my fault. She always understood me and she was very fair. She never forgot me...she never left me out...she always remembered all of us in this close-knit blog family. And since she recently decided never to blog again, I am feeling really sad. 'Cos I don't want her to go away just like that - 'cos there are alot of people who still value her as a person and depend on her great wisdom. m000nie has been one ocean of wisdom and love - she took no sides and is resilient in every way. She never gives up on her friends...she' s a shoulder to cry on and she has been by my side on all of the times friends betrayed me here. She is gentle and one of the very few beautiful souls I have ever met! She has never hurt anyone's feelings...she's a very special soul and I mean it. I learnt alot from her and I really love her as a friend.

So m000nie, I want you to read this and know exactly how I'm feeling...I MISS YOU, so PLEASE STAY GIRL. Remember your favorite flower Iris stands for FAITH and WISDOM...all that you really are...so don't lose your faith in any of us and don't deprive us of the beautiful Iris that you are. Whatever happened, happened for the best...take your time if you must, but don't forget us please...we need someone as real as you are in this very fake world...to keep us believing that truth exists no matter what. I hope you read this m000nie and that you will shower us again with your amazing grace...


Don't go far off, not even for a day, because...
because, I don't know how to say it - a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach...
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance,
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest...
because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

--Pablo Neruda

In your arms...

His slow, velvet touches take me to a world of unknown pleasures. His soft but deep voice whispers sweet music to my ears. His gentle cuddles bring out the woman in me in ways that can never be said enough. His craving eyes spark a deep fire in my soul. His gentle kisses awaken my sleeping beauty. His manly fingers do my skin divine justice. His head lays heavy on my shoulder and soothes my deepest senses. His moist lips caress my inner soul. His warm breath makes me wail in pleasure. His strong hands that wont let me stray. His sweet smell that meets with mine. His tight embrace that's the closest to heaven. His yearning look that's the face of desire. His beautiful words that give meaning to my existence. His love that validates my presence. His soul that recognises mine. His needs that are found in my heart. His heart where my needs are found. His desire to be with me that recognises mine. His slender body against mine. His soul intertwined with mine. His moments with me that last for eternity. His meaning that is my meaning. His warmth that warms up my nights. His silken caresses that quench my thirst. His magical charm that completes me. These are my moments with my man...

ok so how many of you thought Keshi was losing it? lol! Point of this post is to give a voice to Desire and Passionate moments spent with someone you love. Why don't you too write something along these lines...perhaps 1-5 lines of what Special Moments with your man/woman is/would be like to you...I can see my blogmates sizzling up yeyyyy, cant wait to read ;-)

Use by 12/12/05

Push my buttons and get what you want. I feel like a frikkin vending machine sometimes. Haven't you ever felt that way? When someone you trust take you for a ride? I have been lied to, that's ok I could take it. Atleast I thought I can, but lately I cant stand lies and hypocrisy, it doesn't sell anymore mate. How can you look in the eye of a loved-one and bull sh#t? Some people flaunt their insensitivity in great style. It's ok that you are born insensitive but there are others who are born sensitive, get it? Cold cold hearts and ruthless minds can dwell quite happily in another's misery. Your eyes seem dead and the words sound numb but they stir the last bit of emotion in me to the very core. For you it's just the usual thing, for me it's just a brutal war with my ever-growing emotions. These petals didn't open up for no reason - now they are all so strewn with tears. Thinking these thoughts can never be stopped now - if only you didnt act this callous in the first place.

I don't know if some people like to make a mockery out of others but they do it somehow. I'm not the kind who pay attention to such people, but when it's someone you love and care for it's really hard to tell them off. It's like they don't want to feel weak in front of you so they act heartless and cold. How can you continue to love someone like that? Somehow you end up still wanting the same person! But why? Don't ask me that question, it's like an addicition - the more he/she hurts you, the more you want him/her. The more he/she disregards you, the more you pay heed to him/her. The more he/she pushes you away, the more you try to pull him/her towards you. What is it? I don't get that but alot of people fall into that same trap. It's not that you don't realise that he/she is being insensitive but it's like you are tied to that person by that very insensitivity! Strange but true. I have many sensible friends who have this problem - no matter what, you want that same heartless freak!

Feelings are precious...more precious than Gold. Don't disregard your feelings for a feeling-less person. Don't let them tell you you are a child and too much of a thinker. If you feel that something is not right, then that's what it is, nothing else. Don't let him/her make you forget who you are. Being sensitive is quite good for the soul if not for him/her but don't let that make them misuse you. I'm a sensitive person and my feelings have been used and abused...but I'd never let anyone kill my soul. So you had your share of scorn but look who has failed...it's you. I have always known who I am and I don't wear a mask like you. Where are you going to hide when the makeup fades....where are you going to run away to when someone sees the real you...when you can't even find yourself? That's when the pain will hit you all over your face...the feeling of nothingness...no identity...lost personality. The feeling of feelings misused...the pain that you inflicted upon me. It will get you some day, if not now. Use-by-date for this product has arrived - sorry, go get another one.

Don't insensitive people shock you?

Ebony and Ivory

Ebony and Ivory
Live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my piano keyboard
Oh Lord, why don't we ?
We all know that people are the same wherever you go
There's good and bad in everyone
We learn to live, we learn to give each other
What we need to survive
Together alive... ... ...

-Sir Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder


Point of this post is not about racism as you may have thought...it's about the Ebony and Ivory in you. Have you pointed a finger at anyone else? When you do, have you noticed that 3 other fingers are pointing towards yourself? Need I say more :) What I want to highlight in this post is that we all make mistakes...all of us are good and all of us are bad... no one is error-free and no one is perfect. Human error is the biggest trait about us that keeps us perfectly human :) The imperfect perfection of being human. The reality of you and me is that we are both good and bad. But that should not make us sit and sulk about it or point fingers at others. What it should do is make us seek for better human qualities such as Acceptance (of your Ebony), Sharing (of your Ivory), Forgiveness (for their Ebony) and Gratitude (for their Ivory).

So you have some Ebony in you and as well as some Ivory. But how many of us are ready to accept our weaknesses? No one! But all of us would love to speak of our strengths. Nothing wrong with that but we must accept that we have weaknesses too. Self-righteousness is the result of a terrible ego. What we must have is a healthy ego - one that preserves our self-respect but one that does not humiliate others - atleast that's what I think. But if that ego over-flows, self-righteousness sprouts. I'm-always-right-you-are-always-wrong kind of attitude. It will bring so much pain to you later in life...'cos people who care for you will be afraid of you...run away from you 'cos to be around you would be like to be around a bossy teacher who always points fingers at his/her students. Instead, try and be like a student among other students...know your Ebony and accept them...learn to apologise for your weaknesses instead of covering them. Also know your Ivory...flaunt them (yes :) and teach others to be better. And then know the Ebony of others too...tell them when they are wrong instead of approving them in fear of rejection and forgive them when they accept their faults. Get to know their Ivory as well...learn from them instead of being jealous and thank them for sharing.

Self-development begins when you recognise that you too can be wrong sometimes and that others too can be right many a times.

Now who's game enough to speak of their worst Ebony...and best Ivory? You are most welcome to point out my worst Ebony and best Ivory too. Oh ok, let me start then...

My worst Ebony - Impatience

My best Ivory - Kindness

What are you waiting for now guys? Let the Acceptance, Sharing, Forgiveness and Gratitude begin!

Nature in you..

Ok after a heavy topic, let's relax a bit. As Gangadhar suggested I think I must give some people a break...or else mass murder will occur in my blog too, out of pure hatred and vengeance...lol!

This post is a simple one...just take part if you wish to :)

1.If you were a flower what flower would you be and why?
2.If you were a fruit what fruit would you be and why?

3.If you were an animal what animal would you be and why?
4.If you were a season, what season would you be and why?
5.Pick any blogmate(s) and tell me what flower/fruit/animal/season they would be and why?

We are human but all of us carry some traits very closely related to nature, be it flowers, fruits, animals or seasons. So dive in and see the 'nature' in you :) My answers for myself and for you, will be given at the end of all your answers (as usual).
Have a good day folks!

In search of Compassion

Guys I know I have spoken about Death Penalty last week, but this is to inform that Tuong Van Nguyen was executed this morning at a Changi prison 6am Singapore time (9am Aus time). I couldn't help but write this post for the injustice against humanity that was carried out this morning (leaving aside the fact that he was a criminal).

I don't know Van at all, but I have Compassion for him...and I know what Love is...it's not about I, ME and MYSELF...it's about YOU too. It's about learning to forgive others and allowing people to change. It's about having faith and trust in a young person to change...to do something good some day...to give him a chance. It's not about Revenge! Van's lawyer said that Van had immensely changed in his prison time, became a devoted Catholic and was prepared to die without blaming anyone for his fate. He had a troubled story behind him too (the 2 boys above are Van and his twin brother in childhood)...just like all of us have a story to tell, but now who was willing to listen to his story? No one. He carried drugs once in his life, so let's all get together and kil him?? Van's execution showed how little mankind has changed from the olden days where people were beheaded and the punishment didn't even fit the crimes. Man is still very evil and when I read some comments in the newspapers that supported his execution, I was shocked at how heartless some people can be. But at the same time churches around Australia and hundreds of people were keeping candlelight vigils for Van in the past few days leading upto his final minute on this Earth - that showed that alot of people have real Compassion in them too. I was at peace knowing that.

I know Van did something wrong and he had to go by the Singaporean law, but don't we ever make mistakes in our lives? And killing Van wont give him time to repent, neither will it stop the drug business. The man who doesn't choose drugs will never do drugs...the man who chooses drugs, will always do drugs, irrespective of Van's death. And the drug addicts, please don't blame it on Van...if you chose to take drugs, then it's your fault too. Where there is Demand there will be supply. While I don't condone Van's crime of carrying drugs, I don't condone the brutal execution either. And for those who say that he was about to ruin millions of other lives with drugs, please think twice...like I said before without demand there won't be supply. And those who take drugs are doing a crime too...what about their mistakes - do they get death penalty too? One way or the other, it's very easy to blame others but yourself. In a so-called civilised world today, where is Compassion or are we all just putting on an act of Love and Compassion while inside we are really evil? Ask yourselves that question. Where is dignity for human life? And to hang a man is a disgustingly cold-blooded thing to do!

I walked into my office this morning feeling horrible and helpless 'cos someone was being hanged while I went about doing my normal thing...that the world watched on and that there was absoultely nothing that could be done to help Van! Shame on you people who killed him...look into your hearts and search for Compassion...it's a huge mistake you made, much more worse than what Van made. 'Cos what you did will come back to haunt you. You all lack Compassion...find it before you lose yourself in anger, revenge and sheer evil. I couldn't sleep last night...it was disgusting and heartbreaking to see that Van still went to the gallows and no one in this big wide so-called beautiful world could stop it. Capital Punshiment should be eradicated in Memory of people like Van. Please don't think I'm making a martyr out of a criminal - this is about Human Life irrespective of what kind of mistakes he made. We can't allow calculated MURDER to take place whether by law or not. That's not quality justice..it's just economical and barbaric!

I know that I will fight against death penalty no matter what...I have already been in touch with Amnesty even before Van's death and many more barbaric deaths, and I want to see that the world has nothing called Death Penalty in future, even if that takes many years to achieve. If you are with me on this, please help mankind know what true Compassion is before it disappears from the face of this Earth amidst violence and revenge. It won't do anything for mankind, but death and destruction. Is this the way we want to guide our children's conscience? How sad. Please get in touch with Amnesty and help to eradicate barbaric practices from this world.

Atleast now Van has been set free of evil men who thought his life was nothing and less valuable than their's. He will be forgiven and loved again. May he find that Compassion in God's loving arms...

The Healing Peek

In this post I will ask you all some simple questions. By asking that, I hope to make you realise what Deliverance really means to you so far. And if you think you are right on track, then that's great...but if you have doubts about the avenues you have taken so far, then it's time for you to change your Salvation guide...or if you don't have one, time to acquire one :)

The questions:

I know that we are all quite young and yet to accomplish many things in life, but leaving all that aside, just imagine this situation.

If you were told (perhaps by some superior influence) that tomorrow is your last day on Earth,

1. What accomplishments in your life would you be proud of?
2. What would you be regretful of?
3. Do you think you were on the correct path for Salvation and if so what is that path that you followed so far?
4. How would you spend your last day on Earth?
5. Would you be content when you take your last breath and why?

I will give you my answers (which may be totally the opposite of what you think, but everyone's different so it's ok) at the end of all Comments. This is an exercise for myself too to see where I am in life and what I have done so far. Please be honest with your answers 'cos this is not a competition to see who answers the best...it's rather a workshop experience for all to learn more about yourselves, your struggles and what Salvation must really mean to you, irrespective of whether you believe in a God or not. So I trust that all of you will be honest than be right:) thanks! So yeah, stop the race, take a quick peek outside the window...let me know what you see. This could be the most healing peek you could ever take.

Butterfly Beauty

I've been thinking how much one's soul is like a butterfly...it has the wings and it's free to fly, only if it's given the chance. The butterlfy flies freely with no aimed direction, but it flies anyway. It just wanders away so gracefully...sometimes it gets chased by people who try to catch it, sometimes it rests on a leaf in heavy storms and rains, sometimes it's wings break and it falls down...just like the soul. Sometimes we get distracted by many obstacles in life such as sickness, loss of a loved-one, bad times...sometimes others try to make our life more difficult and stop us from going ahead...some friends let you down and you feel hopeless about tomorrow...but who's life is free of pain? Life doesn't always give you the answers. Your soul is the butterfly you are holding from flying free - holding from healing and growth. Give it a chance...set it free...give yourself a chance to reach the inner beauty and capabilities that you may posess. Don't always live in comparison and in doubt. That you may not have what the other has, is not always a sad thing...it could be a blessing in disguise and what you have received is what you ought to receive...and you should live life the way you were supposed to and not in another man's path - then you may find the real you and be content with it. So step into your path, allow yourself to be free, take chances and wander off freely...find your true self. For butterflies are meant to fly and soar in high spirits, so is your soul. So let your soul do the flying that's needed to find the real you...